Chap Errr….Something Or Another…The one where…Something shall happen and it really won't be good, 'cause … well…..Welcome to My Life. It's 25!

I enter the captains' meeting, or rather, captains and vice-captains, with Renji next to me, and Hisana riding on my hip.

And now Kenpachi and them morons are laughing at me.

I send them the Glare-of-Death but it has no effect.

So I smile.

They're scared.

This is all really twisted. Damn it.

Anyway.

Yama turns and frowns at us.

"Kurosaki," he begins, in that pompous voice that makes you wanna throttle him, "What are you doing with that girl?"

"And when he says it like that, it sounds really, really suss," mutters Kenpachi.

There's a resounding silence, as Yama glares the mickey out of Kenpachi, not that it works or anything.

"Er," I say, "She's kinda like my daughter."

"I'M SO SORRY!" wails Hisana, launching herself at Yama and actually landing on him. "I'm sorry I burnt down your office! I'm so sorry! I won't do it again! I promise!"

There's silence. Again.

"She burnt down the soutaicho's office?" asks Ukitake, looking mildly impressed. I nod.

"What is your name?" demands Yama.

"… Hisana Masaki…"

"Right. And you burnt my office?"

"Yes…I'm so sorry!"

"You will have to be punished."

Okay. Now I'm worried.

"What?"

"I think exile would be good…" Yama muses.

"Yama?" I splutter.

"It is soutaicho to you, taicho."

Okay. I think Yama's kinda like…Not insane, anymore.

"So they don't have to get married?" asks Hisagi.

"Who?" demands Yama.

We all give him strange looks.

"You were going to get Renji and Ichigo to marry, because Hisana's their daughter."

Yama stares at us. "I would never allow anything of that sort to happen in my lifetime!" he snaps. "Firstly, two men cannot have children –"

"Actually," Mayuri interjects. "It is possible, and secondly, this was—"

"I do not care, imbecile!" Mayuri looks supremely insulted. "Second! The idea that I would freely give my permission to allow two of my captains to marry is utterly unthinkable!"

Kenpachi, looking grumpy, bashes Yama on the head. Yama is now unconscious.

"What?" Hisana mumbles. "What on earth was that….."

I pick her up. "That was Normal Yama."

"I don't like Normal Yama. Normal Yama is a meanie."

"That," Kenpachi says, "is an understatement."

"I'm surprised you know such a long word," Unohana tells him. Kenpachi splutters. "Anyway," Unohana continues, "If I just… Ah… Leave him like this…Yamamoto shall die. However, I have many of these happy pills in storage, and I'm sure Kurosatchi-taicho has many in his labs, so we could, most likely, keep him insane for, well, the rest of his life."

Hmn…Such a difficult choice. Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama? Dead Yama, or Insane Yama?

I really have no idea.

Aizen steps inside, followed by Gin.

"What's happened to my YAMA-KUN!" he wails suddenly, launching himself at Yama.

"I think Insane Yama is good," Soi Fon says.

"I like Insane Yama," Hisana agrees.

Unohana kneels, and forces two happy pills down Yama's throat, massaging said throat to get them down. Yama then wakes up.

"Hi Ya guys!" he exclaims, beaming at us.

Hisana launches herself on top of him.

"I'M SORRY I BURNT DOWN YOUR OFFICE!" she wails. Again.

"It's okay, Hisana-chan."

"It is?" she sniffs.

"Yeah!

"Oh, that reminds me!" he exclaims, again, as he stands, assisted by a sniffling Aizen. Gin just stands to the side, smiling that utterly creepy smile of his. "All of you wanna have Hisana-chan in your division!" he exclaims.

WHAT?

"She's in mine," Renji and I snarl. At the same time. Perfectly in sync. Scary.

"Or his," we add, looking at each other. Again. Perfectly in sync. ARGH!

"That was funny!" Yama laughs, before yelping, and slapping Aizen's hand.

What exactly Aizen did is left up to you.

Because I'm just…WAHHHH… Horrid images…

BMI… BMI… BMI

B…

M…

I…

"Anyway," snaps Yama, glaring at Aizen who merely smiles that horrid grin of his, "We're gonna have a compey-tition!"

"A what?"

"Competition!"

"What type?"

"A PRANK WAR! PRANK, PRANK, PRANK, PRANK, PRANK, PRANK, PRANK!"

Silence.

"A what war?"

"Prank. Ya know. Practical jokes and all that. You know."

"And how will this decide who get's Hisana?"

"Er… The winner gets her!"

"But how is this supposed to make sure that whoever ends up with her actually deserves her?"

"Er…Um…Ah…I … Ah... Well... You see… Ah... I dunno?"

There's silence. And then there's distinct head-banging.

"I declare a PRANK WAR!" yells Gin, managing to deafen just about everyone. He pulls out several already-filled water balloons and starts hurling them at all the taichos. Then, a bunch of Arrancars, looking remarkably disgruntled, enter and start to rather unenthusiastically throw them at us.

Gin's laughing his head off. So is Yama. Aizen's standing there looking like a pleasant father watching his children happily play.

God. I'm drenched.

Hitsugaya, being the life saver that he is, freezes all the water. Which is good, because then I'm not getting splatted with water, though a water balloon suddenly freezes and drops onto Kenpachi's head (not that Kenpachi notices or anything). Unfortunately, this kinda results in everyone ending up in ice cubes.

"Oops," he mutters. Or tries to, anyway. It's kinda hard to talk when you're in an ice cube.

Trust me, you don't want the experience.

Yama melts all the ice, leaving us shivering in ice cold water.

"Wah," we mumble.

"Okay," says Yama. "So, the rules of the prank war are-"

"Do we have to compete?" whines Soi Fon.

Yama turns. Yama glares. Soi Fon hurriedly answers 'yes' to her question.

"The rules are that you have to leave some kinda call sign! Cool! A Call Sign! It's gonna be like… All secret agent-y! YAY!"

"Oh. My. God."

There is more head banging.