a/n: Whew! Somebody slay the drama dragon! xD I had been musing on Justin and Sophie's past for a while now, considering its non-existence in both the film and book. I am both pleased and terrified by the results.
jack, jerry, and nick: Thank you for your reviews! You guys crack totally cracked me up with your comments about Howl and Justin. xD
LETTER courtesy of: BowerickWowbagger
Chapter 25: Favors
HOWL'S LOVE ADVICE
Professional Love Advice from Dr. Howl Jenkins Pendragon
Special Edition, Entry #2
Dear Dr. Pendragon:
I find myself in quite a predicament. As you are gifted with the supreme knowledge of love, I'm hoping you could alleviate my distress. You see, I'm in love with words. They're not just any words that set my heart aflutter. The latest words that have conquered my heart are gently compelling and wildly amusing. Even while few, they create a layered and intricate story.
They make me into a lovesick, giddy fool who craves more of this sweet ecstasy. I can do no more than to admire them, to revel in their warm embrace ...
Sincerely
Bowerick Wowbagger
Greetings Bagger of Wows:
Your infatuation with words is wildly amusing. However, I must gently compel you to get a human lover.
Giddiness over words can't compare to the sweet ecstasy of an actual embrace.
But then again, everyone has their thing.
Mine just happens to be women.
Dr. Pendragon, your neighborhood love enthusiast
Calcifer had a knee propping open the fridge door, a bag of crisps caught between his teeth, and an ale in one bronze hand when he spotted it: perfection.
It lay there, glistening and celestial in its diaphanous wrappings, modestly obscured by a carton of eggs. Calcifer cackled gleefully, reaching for the packaged bacon, thinking his vacation had just become paradise.
Then his mobile rang.
The red-head snatched the crisps out of his mouth and swore. He set down the foodstuffs and dug the mobile out of the pocket of his skinny jeans. Howl's ringtone was the sounds of cats, whining, yowling cats. Calcifer hastily swiped away the 'goldenboy' I.D. and said, "Look, I didn't touch it."
"What?"
"Err… nothin'." Calcifer reluctantly stepped back and let the fridge door close. "What's up, man? And look, your water boiler ain't broken, so don't ask."
"Wait a sec."
There was the sound of a car door slamming. Howl's voice became distant, signaling that his friend was now talking to someone else. "It's not nuclear physics, dang it. It can't be this hard to figure out!"
"Well, you'd better hurry, someone's coming," sounded the faint reply of that "someone else." It was a chick. Calcifer rolled his eyes. The man couldn't take one day off.
"You said our trail was clear!" Howl complained.
"Well, you said it'd take two seconds!" the woman retorted.
"Give me that bag."
"Careful, you'll damage her."
"Her? No getting attached."
"But -"
Calcifer waited. Slowly, he chewed a few seaweed-flavored crisps, listening to the way his jaw crunched against the receiver. This episode of phone drama beat last night's episode of "Mystical Encounters" with its weirdness. Although Calcifer had to admit, an old lady who thought she could speak to fires was pretty freaking weird, not to mention hilarious.
"Cal, you there?"
The redhead popped open the ale. "Yeah, I'm here." He took a long sip.
"Oh good. Listen, I need you to check my room for -" Calcifer sighed when Howl was interrupted again, "- botheration, they're already here! Sophie, just leave that one."
It was always the same with Howl. Whether in everyday conversations or aggravated circumstances, he simply avoided giving straight answers. Calcifer had quickly learned this from day one, when Howl had dragged him out of that alleyway. He had asked Howl where they were going, and all the boy replied was, "I'll figure it out."
Speaking of...
"Okay, Cal! Heen's number is on my nightstand. Text it to me."
Calcifer frowned. "Why isn't that already in your phone?" Silence. "Howl? Yo! Jerk can't even hang-up like a normal person."
The red-head grudgingly left his snackage on the kitchen counter-top and went to Howl's room. Compared to the rest of the place, the chaos in here was relatively organized. Calcifer ducked under some low-hanging contraptions and stepped around a bunch of plants, a few sciency things, and some plastic swords (courtesy of Markl) until he was standing besides Howl's creepy alarm clock. It was an old-fashioned pendulum with a freaky eye. Calcifer hated it. In college, Howl used to prop it next to his pillow so he'd wake up with it looking at him.
Calcifer found the number scrawled on the back of a receipt and entered it into a text. He hit send.
It wasn't until he was back in the kitchen, hand wrapped around the fridge handle and amber eyes once again affixed on the bacon, that he realized what he was doing.
It was his week off work and he was in his buddy's house, drinking at ten in the morning, doing errands, and getting ready to play video games until he picked up a kid at two o'clock.
Calcifer ran his fingers through his short hair and exhaled. "I really need a girlfriend."