He Chose Titans

by masksarehot

Erwin swore he would never again be distracted from his fight against the titans, but when an unexpected bond begins to form with Levi, he must decide whether he will follow his heart or his head. [Erwin x Levi, romance/drama/angst, semi-canon prequel/retelling.]

25. Warning (PART III)

A/N: WOW. I'm sorry this took an extra 10 days on top of my predicted publish date. Setting up a new arc/tying stuff together + battling health stuff = that took way longer than expected. Thanks for your patience! I'm blown away by the positive reaction to this fic lately (holy hell) and I hope this new arc will be feels-y and satisfying. :)

I'd like to take a moment to call out three awesome pieces of fan art that I was lucky enough to receive after the last chapter!

Cottonomz made an amazing multi-page comic depicting Erwin & Levi's discussion about August & Emil in the previous chapter! HOLY CRAP!

Aileine did a beautiful comic depicting Erwin & Levi's bond and the sacrifices they have made together! AHHH!

Alsoalice did a lovely, sad picture of Levi after being inspired by feeling sad about chapter 24! WOW!

All of these lovely works can be seen on my tumblr under the #amazing gifts from amazing people tag, and I am hating ffn a little right now for not allowing me to direct-link them. I am absolutely blown away that I could inspire people to create such lovely things. Thank you so very much.

Anyways, on with the chapter! (My apologies for any weird typos/etc. I'll be taking another look at this over the next couple days to polish up any typos I catch.) Also, some mild spoilery stuff for chapter 55, heavily headcanonized.

---

Previous chapter: As Levi's birthday approaches, Erwin takes him north for a romantic getaway.

---

PART III

Consume

---

For several months following Erwin and Levi's return to Trost in late December 846, the Survey Corps continued its focus on recruiting and finding investors. Levi's celebrity was a great help to both, and though it made him uncomfortable to hold the spotlight, he knew it was for the good of the Corps. He arm wrestled, he demonstrated titan takedowns to trainees, he punched through cinder blocks, all while Erwin told tales of his amazing feats on the battlefield. Because they weren't leaving the walls, there was almost no negative publicity to counteract their efforts, and as a result the Survey Corps began to flourish. By early summer, their numbers were high enough to resume expeditions, and Erwin had recovered enough to lead them.

As time passed, Erwin's goal of taking back Wall Maria within three to five years began to seem plausible. Now that they had a goal in sight, they aggressively pushed ahead with several smaller expeditions a year instead of just one or two large ones. They carved a path toward the wall, laying supplies and securing checkpoints. It was slow work, and costly: actively attempting to clear checkpoints meant engaging the titans head-on rather than avoiding them. Casualty rates were high. Fortunately, Levi's strike squad fared well, but other teams began to weaken. By the end of the autumn of 847, they were desperately in need of more soldiers.

That winter, Erwin intensified the recruiting drive yet again, enlisting the help of Shadis and Berit to raise the Corps' profile with Trainees. Once spring arrived, they headed out with their numbers bolstered, and the annual cycle began again: perform a song and dance for investors, lay supplies, recruit more trainees to fill the empty spaces left behind. The months began to blur together, and so did the names and faces of the young soldiers around them.

The steady loss of soldiers wasn't the only change in the Survey Corps. Less noticeable to the masses, but more noticeable to Levi, was the impact on officer morale.

As the expeditions passed and the number of casualties increased, Mike became more quiet and withdrawn. He still socialized with the other officers, but rarely contributed to the conversation aside from the occasional shrug or grunt. It wasn't in Levi's nature to try to draw someone out of their shell, but he was beginning to miss the man's stories. Training with him these days was more like punching a piece of equipment than a friend.

Hange, meanwhile, dove headfirst into research, spending odd hours working on new weapons and poring over titan behaviour documentation. While their knowledge and traps were improving at a rapid rate, Levi found himself missing the quiet, personal conversations he had once shared with Hange. They still had their moments, but Hange was growing increasingly eccentric. It seemed most conversations these days led to a boring lecture about titan physiology.

Levi, meanwhile, didn't feel he was changing much. His personality had been forged in times of stress long before he had joined the Corps, so extra stress didn't affect him. His role, however, demanded more of his time and attention than ever before. The troops had begun to call him Captain as he took on the honourary role of Erwin's right hand man, and his duties had accumulated accordingly. He worked almost as hard as Erwin himself these days.

And Erwin...

Every time the townsfolk confronted him after expeditions, every time a politician or investor questioned his intentions, the Commander's mask hardened a little more. Each time it hardened, it took a little longer to come off again. His calm expression and polite, restrained smile were the only expressions he ever wore whenever anyone except Levi was in the room. The tone of his voice had always been measured, but now it was careful, polite and emotionless.

Still, even when the mask was up, Erwin and Levi were inseparable. Ultimately, it was Erwin's vision guiding the Survey Corps, but the two of them stood side-by-side at the helm. Erwin took the lead on finances and long-term planning, while Levi took on many of the day-to-day issues involving the soldiers. The strength of their joint leadership was invaluable, as was their ability to read each other on the battlefield.

This shared drive was a double-edged sword. It was too easy to lose themselves in their work, too easy to forget they were Erwin and Levi, not just Commander and Captain. Once they were in private, they were still the same lovestruck men who had wrestled in the snow in Utopia District, but making private time was the difficult part. Even on the nights they made love, it was increasingly common for one of them to awaken to a cold, lonely bed while the other sat at the desk by lamplight.

By the end of year 848, they had begun carefully scheduling three nights a week together, from midnight until reveille. It seemed to be the only way to ensure they kept their romance strong - and, as a bonus, it forced them to get a decent amount of sleep a few nights a week. Maybe it wasn't as spontaneous as they would have liked, but there didn't seem to be any other solution. They had always known their duties took priority over their relationship. Until humanity was free, they were not.

Still, a part of Levi missed the early days of their relationship, when the reclamation of Wall Maria had seemed impossibly far away. It had been easier back then to fool themselves into thinking they had time to lounge around together.

And so, he was relieved when, one warm spring night in 849, Erwin spoke up from his side of the bed: "We should go away together."

Levi rolled over to face him. "Yeah?"

"A few months from now. Let's set aside a week, make some excuse, and forget all this for awhile." Erwin laid a hand along Levi's jaw, tracing his lower lip with his thumb. "I want one last chance to enjoy ourselves before the final push to reclaim Wall Maria."

"You think we're going to die in the push."

"It's likely at least one of us will." Erwin's gaze was so sad, so painful that Levi found himself wishing for his emotionless mask to go up instead.

"We're not going to die." He kissed Erwin's thumb. "But sure, I'll go away with you."

"Maybe the end of the summer. We'll be between expeditions, so it won't impact our schedule."

"Sounds good." Levi slid across the mattress to seal the agreement with a kiss.

But urgent tasks stole time from them night after night, week after week, and when they finally had a moment to lift their heads, summer was already ending.

---

-25-

Warning

September 849

"Captain."

Levi looked up from his desk to see Eld and Petra standing in the doorway of his office. His eyes drifted to a stack of papers in the girl's hand. She had mentioned something about paperwork during lunch; he hadn't paid much attention. "Okay, grab a seat."

The soldiers nodded and pulled up chairs across from him. Petra slid the papers across the top of the desk.

Levi was so fatigued that the numbers blurred. He flipped through a few pages, frowning. "What am I looking at?"

"Salary guidelines and my pay stubs, Captain." Petra politely smiled, her gaze ducking away from his. She had been doing that a lot lately, and he was beginning to wonder if he had offended her without realizing it.

"And?"

Eld sighed, folding his arms over his chest. "She's being underpaid. She doesn't want to say anything because she's stubborn."

"No, because I don't want to seem like the only reason I'm here is to get paid," said the woman, eyes narrowing at him. "I don't want to cause a fuss-"

"Your family needs the money."

"Both of you, shut up," said Levi. He was running on two hours of sleep, and his head throbbed. It was aggravating enough that heavy rainfall had been drumming at the windows all day; their rising voices weren't helping his headache. "Petra. Why aren't we paying you enough?"

Her cheeks darkened. "I think it's something to do with my transfer, Captain. The accountants probably don't realize I was in the military for more than a year before I came here."

Erwin's not going to like this. Levi leaned back in his chair. One of their major investment sources had just dried up - something to do with squabbles over a will - and Petra's back pay would add up to a sizeable amount. He took a long sip of tea, then set down his mug. "Is Oluo having the same problem?"

Her mouth twisted as if she had eaten something unpleasant. "I haven't asked."

"Well, he's meeting with Erwin next door. We'll ask when they're done." Levi rocked his chair forward, setting all four legs on the ground, and pulled out a ledger. "Let's figure out what we owe you while we're waiting." He wasn't great with words, but he was good with numbers.

The three of them were only a few minutes into the task when a knock sounded at the door.

"What?" called Levi.

The door open, and Oluo walked in, smoothing a ridiculous copycat cravat he had recently started wearing. "Captain, I can't find Commander Erwin anywhere."

Levi tried to blink the clerical fog from his mind. "He's not in his office?"

"No." The soldier ran a hand through his curly hair, his face tightening with an arrogant expression. "We had a meeting for five o'clock on the dot, and I've been waiting twenty minutes. I can't write my monthly report to Commander Nile without him, but I can't wait around all day for him. My time is valuable."

Oluo was one hell of a soldier and he had a good heart, but he had the unique ability to annoy everyone who came near him. Levi felt his skin begin to crawl with irritation at the arrogant tone. "Did you check the research lab?"

"Of course."

"The mess hall? The bathroom? Maybe he's taking a really long shit."

"Checked. Not there. He's not in the gym, either."

Levi glanced at the window. The rain was still coming down so hard that it sounded like hail. His mouth flattened. Ah. Rainstorms like this did strange things to Erwin's mood. "I know where he is. Talk to Eld and Petra about this clerical problem while I'm gone. Figure out if it affects you, too."

"Captain, maybe we'd be better off summarizing it for him in a letter when we're done," said Petra.

"A clerical problem? I'm sure you could both benefit from my experience," said Oluo, pulling up a chair. "After all, the Captain and the Commander entrust me with direct communication with Commander Nile, and-"

Levi stepped out of his office, closed the door behind him and shook his head.

He strode through the hallway, ignoring at the soldiers who greeted him along the way. Making sure no eyes were on him, he ducked down the hallway to the unused portion of the building, then made his way to the guard tower door. The broken lock here still gave the illusion that the door was sealed off. Levi had suggested installing an actual lock - they made use of the tower often enough that someone was bound to discover their secret sooner or later - but Erwin had muttered some excuse about a new lock only drawing attention to it. Levi suspected he was just too cheap.

The door closed behind him, immersing him in darkness. He paced his way to the ladder by memory and began to climb.

He opened the trap door to the guard tower, and was immediately bombarded by raindrops so large and warm that they felt slimy. Erwin was perched against the small wall lining the top of the tower, his back to the trap door. He seemed to be staring across the city, though the fog was so thick that Levi couldn't even see the rooftops of nearby buildings.

He let the trap door fall closed. Though Erwin didn't turn around, his posture straightened a little at the sound. His hair was dripping and his jacket was dark with moisture.

"You're soaking wet." Levi padded closer, then leaned against the wall beside him.

Erwin's voice was quiet: "When it rains like this, the city smells like the land outside Wall Maria."

"You think so? Still smells like garbage and piss to me." Levi glanced at his Commander; he was clutching an envelope to his chest. "Is this a normal rainy day sulk, or is that bad news?"

Erwin looked blankly down at the letter, as if he had forgotten about it. "It's from Helena."

"Your sister?" Levi swabbed raindrops off his face. "I thought I told her to stay away from you."

"This is the first I've heard from her since our meeting a few years back." His face hardened. "She wants to meet tomorrow at an apartment in a small town in Wall Rose."

The jumping muscle in his jaw wasn't enough information - was he angry? Worried? Levi edged closer to him. "You going?"

"I'd be travelling through the town on the way to Mitras, anyway. The timing is more than a little coincidental." A pause. "I can't figure out what spurred her to reach out to me after such a final visit last time. My imagination is not being kind to me."

Levi didn't hesitate: "I'm coming with you." The original plan had been for him to stay behind and train some of the newer recruits, but Mike could handle that alone. He wasn't about to let Erwin go into family drama unprotected, particularly when Tessa - or Helena, or whatever her name was - had said Erwin would be in a coffin the next time they met.

The blue gaze fixed on him for a moment. Levi held it, unyielding. At last, Erwin gave him a polite smile. Levi hated that smile; it was worse than a frown. It meant the man was suffering and he wanted to do it alone. Self-sacrificing asshole.

"We'll leave at eight thirty tomorrow morning," said Erwin. "Unfortunately, that means we won't be spending tonight together as planned - you'll need to sort out the training in your absence, and I have a bit of extra paperwork to do."

"So make it up to me while we're in the Capital." Levi stood. "Now come inside. You're getting drenched, and Oluo's been waiting twenty minutes for-" He stopped as he saw the man's face fall. "What now?"

"Oluo's report," said Erwin. "It's September already, isn't it?"

"Yeah?"

"We had been planning to go away together."

"It can wait," said Levi with a shrug, trying not to show his disappointment. "We've been busy." Busy was an understatement. First there had been the expedition at the end of July, then Erwin had been in the Capital alone for nearly two weeks. After one frantic night together, Levi had left on a three week scouting mission. Last night's reunion had been cut short by their work on the reports for Erwin's upcoming trip. Just thinking about it all, he felt loneliness pit in his stomach, cold and hollow. There's never any time.

"I'm sorry, Levi," said Erwin quietly. "It was really important to me that we go away this August - it's been my plan for a long time. I'm disappointed that I let it slip by."

Levi sighed. He pressed a cheek to the man's chest and snaked his arms around him. The cloth was damp. Beneath it, he could hear Erwin's heartbeat, strong and fast.

"Look," he said. "Stop looking for things to feel bad about. We've got enough stress already." He closed his eyes, feeling raindrops seep through his hair and trickle down his scalp.

Erwin's arms wrapped around him, his embrace tight. "After our next expedition, let's go away. For real, this time. How does a few days in Ehrmich sound? We can use the excuse that we're inspecting the empty Survey Corps base, but stay in our apartment."

"I've never been to Ehrmich," said Levi.

"It's not quite as fancy as the last time we went away, but there are some scenic places to visit. There's..." Erwin hesitated. "There's a small hill overlooking the city, and I think you'd like the view. Maybe we can go for a hike together."

Levi's breath caught. He recalled August and Emil and their trip up the hill, their celebration of three-and-a-half years since they had first started dating. He had replayed that conversation in his head countless times over the past three years, wondering if Erwin would follow through.

Nuzzling against the broad chest, he said, "Sure, let's go on that hike."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I bet I'll like what I see when the sun sets."

Beneath his ear, Erwin's heart began to beat faster.

.*.*.*.

That night, Levi met Mike in the mess hall for some ale. They took a small table together, and Mike listened quietly while Levi covered all the training instructions. Once he was done, there was still a half-full bottle for each of them to get through. For several minutes, the only sound was the occasional sip of ale and then the thunk of glass on wood. This was the most awkward silence between them yet, and Levi couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey, you okay?"

Mike shrugged. "Why?"

"You're quiet."

The man looked down, the dark blond fringe covering his eyes. He absently peeled at his bottle label.

"Couldn't shut you up, once," continued Levi. "Always had a story to tell."

"Most of the people in those stories are dead now."

"Huh." Levi took a long swallow of ale. "Guess it wears on a person."

"Yeah. Start wondering who will be next. Maybe someone you care about more than you should." Mike drained the rest of his bottle.

"Oh." Levi watched him, wondering who he meant. His first instinct was Hange, but that seemed unlikely given that Mike was scent-oriented and Hange seemed to have given up on voluntarily bathing. Nanaba? Lynne? ...Gelgar? Usually he had a good sense of who was fucking whom around the base, but he hadn't noticed anything unusual about Mike lately, even when they had been on the field together. Maybe he had just been too absorbed with his work to notice.

"Maybe I'll feel chattier when we win back Wall Maria," said Mike. "Except the closer we get, the further away it feels."

"Won't be much longer now. Six more months, tops." Levi drained the rest of the bottle. "This is depressing. Want to go spar?"

"Now?"

"I know it's late, but I'm heading to the Capital tomorrow, and fuck knows when I'll be back."

Mike appeared to be considering the offer. He stood. "Should we invite Erwin?"

"I'll ask, but I doubt he'll have time. I'll check with four-eyes, too." Hange was a bit weaker in a fight than the rest of them, but seemed to take strange delight in taking stupid risks in the fray. Their first sparring session had ended with Hange cackling on the ground with broken goggles and a nosebleed. Levi had sincerely feared for the Squad Leader's state of mind.

His first stop was Erwin's office. Not bothering to knock, he opened the door.

Two sets of eyes looked up at him; Petra was sitting at his desk. Right, she was going to talk to him about the pay issue.

Levi slumped against the doorframe. "Mike and I are sparring for a bit. You have time, Erwin?"

The Commander's brows cocked. "It's nine o'clock at night."

"Didn't think so."

"I have time, Captain," said Petra quickly.

Levi eyed her. "Think you can keep up?"

Defiance sparked in her eyes for just a moment before it was overcome by her usual pleasant expression. "I think I did pretty well last time we sparred."

"You mean that time I was drunk off my ass and you had your gear?" He turned away. "Sure, try it, if you want. And Erwin, don't forget to sleep tonight. You're no good to us if you're dead on your feet at the Capital."

Hange's office was empty, so Levi went downstairs to the lab. Hange was stabbing a large, barbed hook into a thick canvas, and Moblit was taking notes.

"Hey, shitglasses," said Levi, cocking his nose at the Squad Leader. "Take a break and come spar with Mike and me."

Hange knelt down to peer at the canvas. "If we perfect this design, Erwin's going to hire a contact to make a bunch of these out of the same material as our blades."

Levi sighed and turned to Moblit. "How about you, scribbles?"

"Not tonight, Captain. Sorry." The man knelt beside his Squad Leader, sketching.

It wasn't quite the turnout Levi had hoped for, but at least Petra's presence would add some variety to their routine. The girl was stretching her legs in the gym when Levi arrived. She was dressed in simple black workout gear, her hair pulled back in a half-ponytail. As he approached, she hopped to her feet and saluted. He waved her down.

"You're jumpy today."

"Sorry, Captain." She was staring fixedly at his bare chest, as if avoiding his gaze. He wondered if it had been a mistake to wear his gym gear. His squad wasn't accustomed to seeing him out of uniform; this might be breaking his illusion of leadership. Or maybe her discomfort had nothing to do with him at all.

"Someone piss you off or something?" he asked. "Erwin? Oluo?"

"No. I mean, Oluo's annoying, but I'm fine." She grimaced and added under her breath, "Really, really annoying."

"Oh?" he asked, even though he knew.

She sighed. "You must have noticed he's been dressing like you and trying to talk like you, Captain. And he's always bragging about how you and Commander Erwin entrust him with important reports to the Capital."

"He does all that because he's insecure. See through that, and it won't bother you as much. He'll grow out of it one day, anyway." Levi swung his arms, trying to loosen them up. His back was stiff from sitting at his desk all day. "You don't have to like each other, but don't let interpersonal shit affect your opinion of him on the battlefield. You two work well together, and I don't want you losing that." He stepped into the ring. "Now let's see what you've got while we're waiting for Mike."

"Okay, Captain." She stood opposite him, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Light flared in her eyes, that same defiance he frequently saw on the battlefield. Petra had a deep aggressive streak beneath that gracious exterior, and he was interested to see how she would use it in a sparring match.

His eyes trailed down her body as he sized her up. Her height was going to prove interesting - he was accustomed to fighting opponents who were taller than him. However, she was too upright, too tense. She must be overthinking the positions of her limbs. Erwin had a tendency to do that, too.

She stepped forward with a punch that would have been strong enough to catch most opponents, but Levi easily sidestepped, then spun around her follow-up punch. He tapped the back of her head.

"Hey!" She whirled to face him. "Don't just dodge around me. Fight m-"

He dove in low and caught her by the collar and the waistband, hoisted her over his head, and gently dropped her onto her back on the mat. She landed with an oof. He stood over her, staring down his nose.

"You're trying to press the offense by beating my speed, but you can't," he said. "You've gotten too used to big, slow targets. The way you fought me as Sofi Lalonde was by anticipating a human's movements and instinctively reacting to everything I did. Don't lose that."

She stared up at him, eyes wide. "You remembered my fake name."

He shrugged. It wasn't often that someone kicked the shit out of him. "Get up."

After a few more minutes, Petra seemed to warm up, her attacks posing a mild challenge now. She was definitely one of the better soldiers he had fought hand-to-hand - she used her petite height to her advantage, and she was quick to capitalize on every opening he offered.

Mike arrived a few minutes later with Lynne and Gelgar in tow. Levi stepped aside, letting Mike and Petra spar for a few minutes. She fared far better against Mike; the man kept getting caught off guard by her aggressive counterattacks. He finally dropped her, and she moved to step out of the ring.

"Not yet," said Levi. "Lynne, fight her."

Petra's brows rose, but Levi only folded his arms over his chest. He needed to keep his squad at the top of their game, and a person's weaknesses were clearest when they got tired and sloppy. He would be doing the girl a disservice if he didn't have any improvements to suggest.

Lynne was fast on the gear in the field, but slow at hand-to-hand. Petra had the upper hand from the beginning and easily won the match. She also revealed the weakness Levi had been seeking.

"Petra, come here," he said once the match was over. He grabbed her shoulders and set her in stance away from the others. "Throw a right punch." He stood beside her and placed a single finger against her right hipbone.

"Um, Captain," she said.

"I'm making a point. Throw a right, then hold your stance with your punch extended."

She did so, her hips twisting.

"Look how far forward my finger is," he said. "Now throw a left and do the same." He moved to her other side, placing a finger on her left hip. This time, her hip only moved a couple centimetres. "Look where my finger is."

"Oh," she said. "I'm not twisting my hips enough on that side, am I?"

"No, and it's cutting your power in half. When I get back from the Capital, I'm going to test this again, so work on it. We'll be doing gear training, too, and I want you to show me a right and left strikes. Maybe you're doing the same thing in the air, and that's why your left strike is so weak." His nose wrinkled as he noticed the acrid smell coming off her. "But wash your workout clothes first."

"Oh!" She stepped away, clapping a hand over her mouth. "Do I stink?"

He hesitated at the horror on her face. This is probably one of those situations where I should have kept my mouth shut. "Well, you just fought three fights in a row. Anyone would stink after that."

"Oh," she said again, her face crimson. "Sorry, Captain. Thank you for taking the time to train me. I'll go wash." She whirled on her heel and marched to the door.

As the door closed, Mike stepped up to Levi's side. "You're an asshole."

"What?"

"She's tripping over herself to impress her Captain, and you didn't say one nice thing about her fighting, then told her she stank." Mike's arms folded over his chest. "She smelled fine, by the way. Maybe you just don't like the way women smell."

"She's a soldier. She can take it," said Levi, but he found himself thinking the man was right. Why am I so hard on her? Even as he was thinking it, he knew the answer: because she reminded him so much of Isabel. He wanted to make sure that this time, he trained her right. He wanted her to be able to defend herself against any threat that came her way.

He let out a low sigh. Petra isn't Isabel. She's survived dozens of fights already. You can't change the past, so let it go.

"Come on." Mike clapped a hand on his shoulder and cocked his head toward the ring.

Levi nodded and fell into step beside him.

He spent the next hour sparring and, when he wasn't in the ring, carefully studying the others. Every soldier had a unique fighting style, and there were things he could learn from each of them - new moves, or new things to avoid. By the time he sank into the cold bath upstairs, his muscles ached and his mind was alight.

He poked his head into Erwin's office around eleven o'clock. "Hey."

Erwin looked up from his paperwork, his eyes glazed. "Come in."

Levi shut the door, then dropped onto the couch. "Have time to take a break?"

"Not really, but I have a contract to read through, so I could get away from my desk and sit with you for a bit."

"Sure."

Erwin tucked a stack of papers under his arm and gripped a tea mug, then sat on the couch next to Levi. He held out the mug. Levi accepted it and took a sip: black tea with a hint of brandy.

"You're drinking?"

"Only a little. Not sure I can get through this bullshit without it." Erwin leaned over to kiss Levi's cheek, then paused. "You showered already."

"Were you hoping my hair was wet because it was dripping with sweat, you pervert?"

"Probably a good thing it's not. I don't think I could withstand the allure of your sweat right now." Erwin gave a soft, breathy kiss to his jaw.

Levi pulled away. "The door's unlocked."

"Ah. Then I'll be good." The Commander took the cup back, grabbing it with a distinctively clawed hand the way Levi did. He had started doing that at some point over the last couple years, and Levi couldn't tell if it was intentional or accidental. He didn't want to ask for fear that pointing it out would embarrass him and make him stop. There was something flattering about him copying Levi's movements. Levi had probably picked up some of Erwin's habits without realizing it, too.

"How was sparring with Petra?" asked Erwin.

"She isn't bad. Mike said I was being an asshole, though."

"I can't imagine." Erwin smiled. "Our workload has grown so much that I'm thinking it's time to finally start training a fourth Squad Leader. Is Petra a good candidate?"

Levi considered. "She's got the right demeanour for it, but she's still too green. Always trying to impress her superiors instead of thinking for herself. Eld's a better fit, but needs a bit more time. Maybe give him another year."

"Anyone else leap to mind? Maybe someone from Mike or Hange's squads?" Erwin took another sip of his drink, then held it out again. Levi accepted it. The alcohol was stronger nearer the bottom.

"Probably Nanaba and Dita." He yawned so hard that tears welled in his eyes. Sparring had taken it out of him, more than he realized.

"Okay. I'll get Hange and Mike's opinions on all this, too. Maybe we can time this to have a fourth Squad Leader in place for the wall reclamation effort." Erwin held out a hand to take back the drink. Levi drained the rest of it, then placed the empty mug in his hand.

Erwin stared into the bottom of the mug. "I was hoping you'd save me a little bit."

"There was too much liquor at the bottom. You can't read your contract if you get drunk." Levi leaned against his shoulder, his eyelids heavy. "I did you a favour."

"Always looking out for me."

"Mm." It was suddenly too much effort to form words.

"Are you falling asleep? Don't tell me the liquor hit you that quickly."

"Shut up," mumbled Levi, too tired to explain that he was tired from sparring.

He felt a soft kiss press into the top of his hair, and then he began to drift. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until Erwin's voice woke him up:

"Levi."

"Hm?" He opened his eyes and immediately noticed his neck was stiff. He sat up, rolling his head to stretch it. "Did I fall asleep?"

Erwin smiled. "For about an hour. Snoring and everything."

"Holy shit." He was embarrassed to see a damp spot on Erwin's shoulder; he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Didn't realize I was so tired. Maybe I should go to bed." He paused. "Am I sleeping in my bed tonight, or yours?"

"Probably yours, though I wish I could join you. I have some more work to do before we leave." Erwin smoothed the bangs from Levi's forehead and pressed a kiss into the centre of it. He smelled of sweat, cologne, spiced tea, brandy and, faintly, coffee.

Levi breathed in the scent, tasting it. Maybe you just don't like the way women smell, Mike had said, but it was more than that, because Levi didn't like the way men smelled, either. All his previous lovers stank. Not Erwin. No matter strong his smell, it still made Levi glow - especially now, when he was pent up. One night of frantic sex wasn't nearly enough release after such a long scouting mission.

"We'll have time for sex in the Capital, right?" he murmured.

Erwin pulled away to look at him, face solemn. "Every single night."

"Good."

They exchanged a shallow kiss, both too paranoid about the door to relax into it.

"See you at eight thirty in the courtyard." Erwin strode over to his desk and began to arrange stacks of paper. "Come in plainclothes; we don't want to be in uniform when we meet my sister. Bring at least one more set of plainclothes in addition to your uniforms, as well as a suit. We'll be doing more than just speaking in front of the Council during this trip."

"Sure. Goodnight." Without looking back, Levi left the office. He shuffled to his room, removed his boots and collapsed on the bed.

.*.*.*.

Morning came too soon.

Levi usually awoke an hour before reveille, but this time he woke up with the bells, the room already orange with the light from the sunrise. He dragged himself to the bathroom to clean up, annoyed that he didn't have his usual peace and quiet. At least it was a heated bath day; he soaked for longer than necessary, his muscles a bit sore from sparring. He had a lengthy breakfast and three cups of tea, keeping an eye out for Erwin, but the man didn't appear.

Once he had finished packing the last of his things, he carried the trunk next door to Erwin's bedroom. Shortly after Berit had left the Survey Corps, Erwin had shuffled the room arrangements, carefully placing their rooms side by side against the wall of the building. When they were in Erwin's room, they had a one room buffer, and it was only Mike on the other side. Below them was the furnace room. Now the only occasion to muffle themselves was during expeditions, though of course they couldn't outright yell unless they were in their apartment in town. Levi sometimes wondered what the apartment neighbours must think went on in there.

He knocked on Erwin's door, but there was no response. Levi frowned. He knew what that meant.

Leaving the trunk in the hallway, he strode to Erwin's office and threw open the door. "You didn't sleep."

The Commander looked up from his desk, surprise on his face. "Is it morning already?"

"Didn't you hear reveille?"

"I suppose I was distracted." His eyes were sunken, the skin around them dark. "What time is it?"

"Eight."

"I see." Erwin raked a hand through his hair. "I haven't even started packing."

"The hell's the hold up?" Levi strode across the room and perched on the corner of the desk, looking down at the document. The printed text across the top read, Application for Military Promotion. Had Erwin chosen a new Squad Leader already? It wasn't like him to make any personnel changes without running them past Levi first."Who's getting promoted?"

Erwin smiled. "You."

"Me?"

"September marks your fifth anniversary with the Survey Corps, which means you're formally eligible to hold the rank of Captain. We've been referring to you by that rank for long enough - it's about time you got the proper pay and military recognition for it."

"Huh," said Levi. "Can we afford that?"

"We'll make it work. It's important that every soldier receives fair compensation for their duties." Erwin stood and began to gather his papers. "I'm afraid my work is scattered around my office. It'll take me a few minutes to get everything in order."

"Get everything you need here, then go get cleaned up," said Levi. "I'll pack your trunk."

Erwin gave him a nod that conveyed gratitude. "Thank you, Levi. I'll see you in the courtyard in fifteen minutes."

"Make sure you eat something," said Levi as he left the room, because he knew Erwin would forget without a reminder. For someone who managed an entire branch of the military, the Commander was surprisingly terrible at taking care of his own needs.

As was typical after a series of long work nights, the floor of Erwin's room was littered with books and clothes. He always made the effort to tidy up before Levi spent the night, but this was a more spontaneous visit. Levi wrinkled his nose and began to deposit the clothes into the laundry hamper. He paused to lift one of the dress shirts to his face, breathing in the collar: Erwin's cologne, soap, and shampoo. His heart began to pound. I wonder if he's going to be too tired to fuck in the carriage?

Perhaps it was his pent-up libido that guided him as he packed two bottles of lubricant, a small toy and that little pair of black underwear that tended to ride a little too far up Erwin's ass. Once that was taken care of, he turned to the necessities: a spare uniform, a few sets of plainclothes, a suit, and then all his toiletries.

Lastly, he grabbed the book from Erwin's nightstand, being careful to keep the bookmark in place. On rare occasions when they had spare time, he enjoyed snuggling up to Erwin as the man read, sometimes aloud. Maybe they would have a quiet moment to themselves at the hotel.

With one last scan of the room, he shut the trunk and hauled it downstairs.

He found Erwin in the courtyard speaking with the driver. Once they had confirmed their route and their things were safely stowed, the two men settled into the carriage, facing each other. Erwin's eyes were cold. His mask is on, thought Levi. Given that they were about to face his sister, that made sense.

"Levi?" said Erwin. He must have been staring.

With a shrug, Levi looked down. "Can't read you when you're wearing that dumb expression."

"Ah. Am I doing it again?"

"Yeah, but I get it. You've got a lot on your mind."

"No, I apologize. I don't mean to seem cold." Erwin carefully crossed the cabin and sat beside Levi. "I'm trying to figure out what my sister could possibly want. My mind is racing with possibilities, all of them dismal. Truth be told, part of the reason I stayed up all night was because I was afraid of the ways my mind might taunt me if I didn't keep it occupied." He shifted closer, a hand settling on Levi's knee. "Even when I recognize that my mind is giving me irrational possibilities, I can't seem to block them out. Particularly when I'm tired."

That hand on Levi's knee was breaking the ice between them. It always seemed to be that way lately: the walls between their business and personal sides crumbled when they touched. Levi ran his fingertips in slow circles over the back of Erwin's hand, feeling the faint, sparse blond hair, and the familiar lines of the tendons beneath it. "You think she's in some kind of trouble."

"Maybe. Or maybe my mother is dead. Or-" The word ended too abruptly, and then there was silence.

"You need sleep," said Levi. "You get paranoid when you're tired."

"I know."

When Levi finally dared to look up, he was relieved to see vulnerability on Erwin's face. He reached up to trace the jaw, faintly stubbled blond. "Lay your head in my lap. I'll watch over you."

"But what about you?" Erwin's voice had finally softened. "You must still need to vent some energy after your mission. I'm sure the other night wasn't enough."

"I'm that predictable?" said Levi, hoping his desperation wasn't showing on his face.

"Well..." The hand on his knee tightened as Erwin leaned down to press a soft kiss below his jaw. "You aren't the only one who needs it." The cold tip of his nose nuzzled Levi's ear.

A shiver ran down Levi's spine, but he knew there were more important things right now than their dicks. The upcoming meeting might require some delicate manoeuvring, so Erwin needed to be alert. His groin ached in protest as he forced out the words: "Later. You're going to be useless if you don't get any sleep."

"Very well. We'll take good care of you tonight." Erwin kissed his ear, then pulled away.

Levi drew in a shaky breath. He settled in the corner, and Erwin laid his head in his lap, stretching out across the makeshift bed. The blue eyes were still open, staring at nothing. Levi slid his palm across them, encouraging the eyelids to close. "Stop thinking."

The eyelashes parted again. "I'm too wound up."

"Focus on my hand." Levi began to comb his fingers through the blond hair, moving slowly, scratching the scalp.

"Mm. That feels good."

"Close your eyes," said Levi, keeping his voice soft. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Gradually, Erwin's expression relaxed, his breaths loud and even.

Levi stilled his hand, watching him. They had been together for long enough now that it was easy to forget how handsome Erwin was, and he liked to study his sleeping face once in awhile to remind himself. The brows had seemed abnormally thick and severe when they had first met, but now Levi couldn't picture him without them. A few hairs there were white, and in his undercut, too. Faint lines were barely visible in the corners of his eyes; they had developed so gradually that Levi couldn't remember when they had first appeared. Otherwise, he still looked young for a man in his mid-thirties, a surprise given the stress of their lifestyle. Part of that, no doubt, was due to the perfectly impassive face he wore during most of his waking hours.

Warmth swelled in his chest. This man loves me. That fact still seemed impossible when he weighed himself against the Commander's beauty, intelligence and drive. He wondered if it would ever stop feeling surreal.

He shook his head at his train of thought. If I'm feeling this sappy, that probably means I need sleep, too. He leaned back against the corner of the carriage and closed his eyes, content.

A knock startled him awake. He sat up, feeling as if only seconds had passed. The carriage had stopped moving, and Erwin was still asleep in his lap. At some point during their slumber, their hands had intertwined over his chest. A corner of Levi's mouth lifted. Cute.

"Commander?" called the driver from the other side of the door. "Captain?"

"Are we there?" asked Levi.

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, just a second." Levi nudged Erwin's head with his thigh to wake him up. A wave of discomfort shot through his leg, and he cringed. My leg's asleep.

"Just a bit longer," mumbled Erwin, eyes still closed.

"Get up. Your fat head is crushing my leg." He struggled out from underneath him and stood. Painful tingles travelled through his heavy leg. "Dammit." He stomped the floor a few times, trying to get blood flowing properly through it.

Erwin slid upright, limbs and neck limp. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to do this meeting without me?"

"Think for a second about how that would go and then ask me again."

The man paused. "I'll be out in a moment."

Levi opened the door and hobbled down the stairs.

"Address is just around the corner, sir," said the driver, tipping her hat. "I'll stay here, as requested. It'll just look like I'm resupplying." She motioned at the buildings, and he realized she had stopped outside a general store.

"Good thinking." Levi straightened his outfit: black pants, a dusty blue long-sleeved shirt and black boots. He was so accustomed to wearing the Survey Corps uniform that he always felt a little insecure without the 3DMG harness, as if he would float away or slowly expand without it holding him together. He opened the trunk in the luggage compartment and, making sure he wasn't seen, he tucked an extra knife into his boot, then a small hook blade up one sleeve. With any luck, he wouldn't need them, but he didn't trust the Wallists.

Erwin stepped out of the carriage, his face grim. "We have a bit of time before we need to be in place. Let's find something to eat."

They found a small cafe across from their destination where they could use the bathroom, then have a small snack and a hot beverage. Levi kept his eyes trained across the street, watching for any hints of an ambush. It certainly didn't look like an ideal trap location. The building was a square apartment block, the tiles on the roof nearly invisible under moss. Four children were playing in front of it, throwing a small ball back and forth, hurrying to the side whenever they needed to let carts or horses pass. He glanced at Erwin and saw the man watching them, his brows pinched, his mouth flat. It was an expression of regret. With Erwin, that could mean several different things. Maybe he's thinking of his own childhood, of the innocence he's lost. Or maybe he's thinking about the children he'll never have. He slid his boot forward to press against Erwin's under the table.

The Commander's face flickered, then settled into neutral as he turned to Levi. "Unless they set up hours ago, it doesn't look like an ambush."

"No."

"Still, if we're in danger, do not hesitate. You have my permission to take whatever measures you see fit." Erwin's gaze hardened. "Our safety is your number one priority. I'm trusting your instincts above all else, and I will back any action you take. Understood?"

"Okay, Erwin," said Levi, his stomach twisting.

"Good." The Commander stood, setting a stack of coins on the table. "Let's head over."

.*.*.*.

As they approached the apartment, Erwin kept his face neutral, taking slow, steadying breaths. His fist was heavy as he raised it to knock once, twice.

The door swung open to reveal his sister, Helena. She glanced quickly around him, then stepped aside. "Hurry."

Levi stepped in first, and Erwin followed. The door closed behind them, and Helena lit the lamp.

A figure sat on the bed in front of them, hunched. A hood blocked out most of its face.

Erwin's breath caught and he took a step closer. The figure stood to her full height, lifting her chin. Her features were sunken, her skin wrinkled, but beneath all that, her face was so familiar that Erwin instantly felt as if he were a child again. His heart pounded in his throat.

"Mama, you shouldn't be standing," said Helena, rushing to the woman's side and helping her to a seat on the bed.

Levi stepped closer, his voice quiet. "No signs of an ambush."

"Thank you, Levi." Erwin couldn't stop staring at his mother. He had been pre-pubescent when he had left home, but he remembered her being tall, with broad shoulders and a quick temper. Had she always been so tiny? She was barely Levi's height.

"Sit down, Erwin," said Helena. "Your little bodyguard can wait outside."

"Levi stays." Instead of sitting, he moved forward, stopping at the foot of the bed. He stared down at his mother. Sometimes, late at night, when his mind spiraled out of control, he fantasized about what he would say to her if he ever saw her again. Their parting argument had faded in his memory, but the wounds it had left inside him had never fully healed. For the first time he wondered if he had marked her in the same way. Things were a lot less black-and-white now than they had been when he was fourteen, and he was sure he must have said things to her that had been unfair.

"Bend down so I can see you." It was Mama's voice, but not, frayed at the edges, ground away. He studied her for a moment longer, then sank to one knee. Her eyes searched his, and he was surprised by how defeated she looked. Once, the spark in her eyes had been stronger than Papa's, stronger than Helena's. What have the Wallists done to you?

She reached out for his face. "You look so much like your father," she whispered, and pain shot through his chest. He redirected her hand and stood.

"Why did you ask to see me?"

"Sit," said Helena again, more forcefully this time.

"Very well." Erwin pulled out two chairs from the side table, offering one to Levi. The Captain dropped into his chair and sat with his legs crossed, eyes trained on the women. Erwin sat next to him, his mind racing.

"Mama insisted on warning you," said Helena, taking one of her mother's hands into her own.

"Warning me?"

"She's been frail lately, so this trip isn't easy on her-"

"Stop fussing. I'm fine." The older woman snatched her hand away. "Just give me a moment. I haven't seen my son in twenty damned years."

Erwin's jaw clenched. "We're on a tight schedule. What are you warning me about?"

"I said, just give me a moment!" There was that fire he remembered, and suddenly he was fourteen again, and she was shouting at him: ...your fault he's dead...

Tears had streamed down his cheeks, a string of ugly words sliding from his lips as he had shoved the last of his belongings into a bag: ...cowardly woman, hiding away while humanity suffers...

His jaw was quivering, so he clenched it. "Our carriage is waiting outside."

"We're putting ourselves at great risk by coming here," growled Helena, "so you will show some respect to your mother."

"It's about a member of the Council," said his mother. "A brother of the Faith."

Minister Nick, thought Erwin. The man was the Wallist appointee to the Council; he had replaced Lord Fromm about a year ago. The sudden injection of religion into politics was unprecedented, and even Supreme Commander Zackly was unable to explain it. Erwin had tried to find common ground with the new appointee, but had only been met with Wallist rhetoric: the walls were sacred; the Survey Corps was committing blasphemy by travelling outside them; repairing Wall Maria would be akin to defiling a sacred goddess. The man's presence was increasingly problematic, and Erwin hadn't yet figured out how to deal with him.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Levi beat him to it: "You mean Minister Nick?"

"No," said his mother. "Brother Étienne."

Levi's brow furrowed. "Who the hell-?"

"It's a pseudonym," said Erwin, remembering that Helena went by Tessa now. His own background checks on Minister Nick suggested the man's name wasn't real, either.

"Many of our parishioners choose new names to give themselves a sense of rebirth," said his mother. "You know him better as Lord Martin Sahlo."

Erwin let a low sigh. Shit.

Levi turned to him. "What the hell? Sahlo's a Wallfucker?"

The woman's eyes shifted to the Captain for a moment, a brow rising, before she looked at her son again. "Étienne only began attending weekly a year ago, but he has quickly become an important member of the Church. He recently made arrangements to support Minister Nick in representing the Faith's interests on the Council."

Erwin held her gaze, his mind trying to connect this new information to what he understood about Sahlo. None of the pieces fit together. "I see."

"I..." His mother looked down. "I overheard a conversation that wasn't meant for my ears. Étienne was speaking with one of our higher-ups about an alliance with you. He said it was breaking down, that you were becoming a problem. They were discussing the best ways to deal with you."

Erwin closed his eyes. He hadn't noticed any indication that Sahlo was unhappy with their arrangement. Granted, their last several expeditions hadn't yielded much coin for the Lord, but there were still plenty of kickbacks coming to him from investor referrals. Perhaps allying with the Wallists would somehow net him more money than the Survey Corps alliance could possibly provide.

There was another possibility, one that would be harder to deal with: perhaps Sahlo wasn't motivated by money, like Erwin had assumed. Perhaps he saw their relationship as a real-life chess game, one he was determined to win.

"Keep talking, old woman," said Levi, leaning forward on his knees. "What did they decide?"

"'Old woman?'" growled Helena.

"Tessa, it's fine." The woman leaned forward. "The higher-up suggested a dangerous expedition to wipe out the Survey Corps entirely, but Étienne said your survival rates were too high now for that to be a viable possibility. They discussed blackmail, but Étienne said he was unable to find anything on you. By the time the meeting ended, they were discussing hiring..." She swallowed hard, lifting her chin and sitting tall.

"Hiring what?" demanded Levi.

"An assassin," said Erwin quietly. How did this situation get out of control without me noticing any warning signs?

Levi glanced at him. "Another lord tried to hire an assassin to take you out once. It didn't go so well for him."

"That was because I pulled all the strings in the background. This time, it's unexpected." Sahlo had often indicated he knew every detail about what had happened with Lobov - Erwin wouldn't be able to pull the same tricks twice.

Helena rubbed her mother's back. "Mama hasn't slept a wink since this conversation happened," she said, her voice the softest Erwin had heard it since they were children. "It's unthinkable that a brother of the Faith would consider something so foul, and I firmly believe they will opt to use political manoeuvring instead. But Mama insisted that you needed to be warned."

"The Church is made up of humans," said her mother. "Humans are susceptible to greed and violence."

Erwin leaned forward, mirroring Levi's pose. "You both must leave the Wall Church," he said quietly.

In response, he received twin sets of blank blue stares.

"If they trace my past to you," he said, "you'll be in danger."

"Why would we leave?" said Helena. "Both our husbands are with the church, and I'm expecting."

Erwin blinked, surprised by the jealousy that gripped his lungs. "Congratulations," he said stiffly.

"Thank you," she replied, equally stiff. "So no, we aren't going to leave."

"Come back with us," blurted his mother.

This was the part of the meeting Erwin had been dreading. He stood and turned to Levi. "I think we have all the information we need."

Levi nodded. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

"If you join us, you'll no longer be a threat to the Church's interests," said his mother, her voice getting more desperate. "And you can help us fix whatever corruption is making our members think it's reasonable to hire assassins. Your political acumen-"

"-will be used to serve humanity, not to serve people who think giant stone walls are more valuable than human life." He gripped the doorknob.

"Erwin," sobbed his mother.

He turned to look back at her one last time, and immediately regretted it. Tears streaked down her hollow cheeks, her brows pinched-

-"Erwin, Erwin, Erwin-" She cradles Helena to her chest as they are forced onto the second carriage, reaching out for Papa-

His head bowed.

"Erwin?" asked Levi, his tone uncertain.

"Wait for me in the carriage." He stepped away from the door. "Helena, leave."

"That isn't my name anymore," she snapped, "and you're crazy if you think I'm going to leave you alone with-"

"Tessa," said Mama, wiping her tears. "Step outside for a moment, please."

The woman cast Erwin a furious glance, then followed Levi out the door, shutting it behind her.

Then it was just the two of them, mother and son. Erwin clasped his hands behind his back so the trembling wouldn't show. She stood, too, a bit unsteady, but she threw her shoulders back and drew herself to her full height.

For a moment, they were silent.

"I've wanted this moment for twenty years," said Mama softly, "yet I still have no idea what to say to you. I only know I'll regret it forever if I say nothing."

He kept his face emotionless, as if he were staring down a political opponent.

Then she stepped forward and fell against his chest, her arms wrapping around him. She still wore the same perfume he remembered, and a flood of related, forgotten scents rose in his memory: plump cinnamon rolls baking in the oven, the lilac water she used to mist their bedding, the hot scent of baking rocks on their driveway in the summertime. He stood stiffly, arms at his sides.

"It wasn't your fault," she said. "You were just a boy. I'm so sorry."

He tensed. "Of course it was my fault."

"Erwin." She pulled away to look at him. "Your father took a stupid risk and paid the price. I'm sorry you got caught in the middle of it, but you were too young to know any better. You've always been so good at trusting reason over emotion, but this is one instance where you were never able to do that, and I blame myself for letting you shoulder the blame for so many years. It wasn't your fault. Put aside your guilt and think about it logically, and I'm sure you'll agree."

He stared at her. The facts were clear: he had been directly responsible, and so he had to continue on the path his father had started. This wasn't guilt; it was logic.

But what if I'm not being logical? Would I trust a boy younger than Jasper with knowledge about the outside world? If that was traced back to me, would I blame him, or myself?

His head spun. No, it was his fault. It had to be his fault. Every choice he had made in his career had been made with the goal of carrying on his father's legacy. He was too far along this path to second-guess it.

"Help me set things right," he said, shifting the topic. "I know nothing about your faith, and it's taking a strong hold in political circles. If you could tell me anything-"

Her face hardened. "I have told you all I can safely say."

"Then this meeting is over," he said, even though he wanted her to hug him again, to reminisce about Papa, to tell him she loved him. "Please take care."

"One last thing." A sad smile appeared on her lips. "The man you brought with you. Levi, was it?"

He eyed her. "Yes?"

"You look at him exactly the way your father used to look at me."

His heart began to race, his palms sweaty. Impossible. We've been careful not to show anything, and she was only around us for a few minutes...

"I'm glad you've found a new family. Tell him to watch over you." Her smile faded. "But be sure to watch over him, too. Your name wasn't the only one Étienne mentioned."

.*.*.*.

Levi said nothing to Tessa, or Helena, or whatever her name was, as he left the room. He was too uncomfortable. How strange it had been to see Erwin's mannerisms on two women, to hear the similar cadences of their voices.

More than that: this was just one more time that Erwin had faced unimaginable stress, and Levi had been unable to help him.

Maybe he wasn't good with family drama, but he was good at securing an area. He did a quick perimeter of the block, looking for any signs that the women had been followed. Sahlo was clearly more dangerous than either of them had expected, and he wouldn't put it past the man to track anyone leaving the Church's walls. Fortunately, he didn't see anything suspicious.

Erwin's sister glared at him when he returned. "You think I'm stupid enough to hold a dangerous meeting without making sure we were alone, little man?"

"I'm supposed to trust a Wallfucker with no military training?"

"You idiots have no idea what you're playing around with," she said, eyes narrowing. "If you continue on your path, my child may not grow up with the holy protection of the walls."

"If you think your walls are going to keep this world is safe, then you're the idiot." Not wanting to waste any more breath on her, he strode away.

The driver greeted him at the carriage. He nodded and slumped to a seat inside, his heart beating so loudly that he could hear it in his ears.

There was an easy solution to these new political developments: he could kill Sahlo. Levi was the only soldier skilled enough to make it look like a random crime or an accident. The idea was so distasteful that his stomach churned, but he would do it if it would help the Survey Corps.

A few minutes later, the carriage door opened, and Erwin stepped inside. His eyes locked with Levi for just a moment, empty, and then he dropped onto the bench beside him.

"You okay?" asked Levi.

Erwin gave him a tiny smile, but then leaned forward onto his knees, his hands raking into his hair.

After a moment, Levi reached up and pulled the cord, signalling the driver to start driving. He placed a hand on the curved back, rubbing slow circles.

"I don't know what the hell just happened," said Erwin.

"Let me kill him."

There was a pause, then Erwin lifted his head to look at him. "Sahlo?"

"Yeah. I'll make sure it won't be traced back to us." Levi forced himself to hold the other's gaze, even though his stomach was still twisting with revulsion.

Erwin's face softened. "I won't ask you to do that, Levi. For one thing, you abhor death. For another, there are dozens of other Sahlo-like lords waiting in the wings, and we don't know a thing about them. As complicated as this situation has become, at least we know our foe."

"Those replacements probably aren't connected to gangs and Wallists like Sahlo."

"True. Still, I'd rather try to regain control before we do something extreme. He's a valuable asset when we're on the same side." Erwin's voice was heavy with fatigue. "But I'm afraid I've made you a target as well."

"What?"

"My mother overheard Sahlo mention you by name as a potential target, too."

"Well, that's not a surprise. We already knew he hated me." Levi watched him, concerned by his defeated posture and tone. "That was a lot to take in back there. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know." Erwin gave a low sigh and sat upright. "My thoughts are racing and cluttered."

Levi studied him for a moment. He reached under the bench and reached into Erwin's bag, pulling out a notebook and a package of graphite sticks. "You need this."

Erwin accepted them, face blank. "I don't understand."

"Sort out your thoughts. You're no good to the Survey Corps if you're wrapped up in your head trying to untangle personal bullshit."

"I thought we might spend some intimate time together."

"Are you in the mood for it?" Levi folded his arms over his chest. "Or are you going to be lost in your head the whole time, trying to figure out this mess?"

Erwin gave him a small smile. "Sometimes, Levi, I think you know me better than I know myself."

"Sure, and it's the same the other way around." He nodded at the paper. "Start sorting. We'll fuck later."

Erwin bent down to give him a long, slow kiss, then began to write on the paper.

At first, Levi watched over his shoulder. The page began to fill up with scribbled names, half-scrawled thoughts, flow charts and overlapping circles. He was slow at first, gathering speed, skipping between topics so quickly that Levi couldn't follow his chain of thought. Erwin filled one page, then a second, then began to map out elements of both on a third. His brow furrowed, his lips mouthing words without saying them. Sometimes he would take in a little gasp of air, as if a flash of inspiration had hit.

During situations like this, Levi always became conscious of just how deep Erwin's genius ran. His intellect was apparent in his strategies and in everyday conversation, but then, it was carefully filtered and presented in a way that his audience could follow along. When Erwin laid his consciousness bare like this, it became apparent that he could think along multiple tangents at the same time, easily weaving them together.

Once upon a time, this feeling of awe had made Levi feel like less of a person next to Erwin, less evolved. Now, however, he often saw that same awe on Erwin's face when he observed Levi's physical prowess on expeditions, in the training yards, at the gym. Perhaps that was why they worked so well together: they admired each other's expertise without feeling threatened by it. It was a balance, a mutual respect, that Levi had never shared with anyone else.

After about half an hour, Levi's mind was fatigued from trying to follow Erwin's thought process, and his awe had worn thin. He stretched out on his back on the makeshift bed perpendicular to Erwin, folding his arms over his chest. "I'm going to take a nap."

The Commander slid closer so the side of his leg rested against Levi's shoulder. He bent down to kiss the man's forehead, then went back to his brainstorming.

Levi closed his eyes, letting his mind wander.

He wondered how it felt to be reunited with one's family after so long. He tried to picture his mother. He had a vague impression of her face, but not his father's. In fact, he couldn't even recall his father's name. So many of his memories from his childhood were fuzzy, and he had never been clear on the proper timeline. He wasn't like Erwin - he didn't have a flawless memory for names, places and dates. Was the aunt he remembered actually a blood relative? Had his father even been a part of his life? How old had he been when his mother died?

The approaching sleep began to paint images in his mind. At first, they were lovely images of his aunt, but they began to twist. The carriage walls began to close in as a cruel smile formed before him, blood dripping down a knife...

He sat up with a gasp. A warm hand smoothed his hair.

"You okay, Levi?"

He blinked and turned to see Erwin reaching out to him. The notebook was halfway filled now, and the graphite stick had been worn to a nub.

"How long was I out?" Levi stretched his shoulders and neck.

"About two hours."

"Fuck, I have to stop passing out like that." Sleep deprivation was wreaking havoc with his normal sleep patterns. "How's your head?"

"I think I'm about ready to take a break and have something to eat." Erwin made one last note, then looked up again. "Would you be interested in hearing my conclusions?"

"Sure."

Erwin pulled out a bag of provisions: a loaf of sliced bread, a tin of yeast spread and twin thermoses of coffee and tea. The tea was lukewarm, but still pleasant, and the bread comfortably filled Levi's stomach. He hadn't realized he was so hungry. Daytime carriage trips always threw off his internal clock.

Once they had finished the last of the food, they sat side-by-side, legs touching, as Erwin began to flip through the pages of his notebook.

"Here's what we know," he said. "First, Sahlo is a member of the Wallist church under the name Brother Étienne. He joined recently, at a time when the Wallists are gaining a larger foothold on the Council and in the government. This suggests it's a strategic alliance, not actually a religious choice.

"Second, he feels our alliance is breaking down, and he wants me out of the picture. He's still getting sizeable kickbacks from the investors he refers to me, and I've been bolstering that a bit with funds of my own, so nothing is actually 'breaking down.' I suspect something big is about to change on his end, and the benefits of our alliance will no longer outweigh the drawbacks.

"The likeliest explanation is that he's on the cusp of some sort of deal that's more valuable than our alliance. He's worried I'll trace it back to him and expose him. It's likely connected to the Wallists in some way. I've been largely in control of our relationship from the beginning, aside from a few concessions here and there. I suspect he's been trying to figure out a way to gain the upper hand, and he thought he would have it before this deal came together, but he hasn't been successful. I'm sure he's realized by now that I've had contacts keeping an eye on him. It wouldn't take much effort for me to increase the pressure and sniff out everything. He needs to take me out before everything's finalized."

"So," said Levi, "what is this deal?"

Erwin smiled. "That's the missing piece of the puzzle. Why would a Lord with gang contacts need to get involved with a church? The most likely scenario to me is a mutually beneficial arrangement involving drugs and money laundering: Sahlo's shipping companies act as a drug courier for Rage Klein, and the Wallists keep Sahlo's money clean through investments in the church. Perhaps drugs are even a key component of Wallist rituals - it would explain why so many of them have that sedated look about their eyes. This is all conjecture, at this point.

"However, my mother gave us an excellent clue that may help us track down more information. We've long known that Sahlo has had dealings with the kingpin you identified as Rage Klein, but we've never been able to connect the two. I have a hunch the name Étienne will get us a bit further."

"So what," said Levi wryly. "You head down to the Underground and start asking around?"

The man's smile twisted a little, and he looked away.

"Erwin," said Levi, suspicious. "That was a joke."

"My contacts haven't had any luck penetrating Rage's network in three years. Most of them are too afraid to get close; their lives are directly impacted if they make an enemy of him. Those of us who live on the surface don't have to worry about retribution." He stared fixedly at a page that had the heading Underground. "I thought while I was in the area, I would pay a visit and see what I can learn. It would..." He trailed off.

"Erwin," said Levi again.

"It would be helpful to have someone along who understood what we were looking for." The Commander was still staring at the page. "Someone who had been in direct contact with him before."

Levi's heart beat in his throat. He slumped against the back of the seat. "That was years ago."

"It's still the best lead we have. I know returning to the Underground is a potential risk for you - we'll both be armed with full 3DMG. I wouldn't ask if I didn't fear Sahlo's plans for both of us. If he gets out of control, it's not just our lives in danger; the entire Survey Corps could be in jeopardy. He holds too much sway on the Council." A pause. "I'm sorry to ask this of you, Levi."

"Shit," muttered Levi.

"If you accept, we'd head down tonight-"

"Of course I accept."

The blue gaze shifted to him. "Yeah?"

"I trust your judgement." Levi folded his arms tightly across his chest. "If this is important enough to risk our safety, then yeah, I'll come help you track him down."

"Thank you," said Erwin. "I'm sorry that-"

"Stop apologizing. What's the plan?"

Erwin closed the notebook and set it aside. "We'll be checking into the hotel around six o'clock this evening, so we have an hour or two to eat and get settled before we head below the surface. I don't expect us to get all this sorted tonight, but I'd like to exhaust at least a few of our leads. I don't face Sahlo until tomorrow, and I'd like to have some information in my back pocket so I can position myself accordingly."

"Do you think he'll make a move this soon?" asked Levi.

"If he's considering assassination, he must be desperate. He's going to try to lean on me to judge the immediacy of my threat. We need to appear docile, make our threat a lower priority to him." Erwin gave him a polite smile. "I'm afraid you may see me submit to him more than I'd like, and you may have to stay your usual show of aggression around him."

"Do what you have to do. I'll behave."

"Not too much. We don't want to tip him off that we're suspicious of him." Erwin let out a low sigh and rubbed his temples. "It figures these new complications would arise when we're so close to reclaiming Wall Maria."

"Maybe that's why he's repositioning himself," said Levi, thinking aloud. "Territory's about to expand. He wants to make sure he gets a big piece of it."

The blue gaze snapped to him, eyes wide. "Could this be about territory?"

"Sure. Maybe literally. I bet the Underground is full of refugees who were landowners before Wall Maria fell. Junkies will do anything for their next hit once they're hooked."

"Interesting." Erwin shook his head. "Now I have even more to think about. Thank you for your perspective, Levi."

Levi shrugged. "Politicians and gang leaders aren't all that much different when it comes to turf wars. One's more subtle than the other, I guess."

"True." Erwin's brow furrowed, and he hesitated. "There's something else I should tell you."

"Oh?" He seemed so uncomfortable that Levi shifted closer.

"My mother guessed there was something going on between us. She might be a security leak."

Levi's stomach dropped. "How? We barely even looked at each other."

"It was enough. It seems I've inherited some of my father's facial expressions." Erwin's voice became quiet: "I'm sorry, Levi."

"Is she a risk?"

"I don't think so, but I can't be sure." Erwin's gaze was growing distant again. "Twenty years, Levi. It was suddenly as if no time had passed at all. I don't- I can't wrap my head around it. What am I supposed to feel?"

"Feel whatever you need to feel."

"I need to feel nothing. I needed to be able to walk out of there without looking back. I have to abandon my family so they can't be used against me, but my emotions betrayed me." Erwin's eyes closed. "I'm not strong enough."

The words turned Levi's blood to ice. "Knock it off," he said. "You're always worried you've lost your humanity, right? So you care about your family. That's pretty human. Take this as evidence that you still have your humanity and stop beating yourself up about it."

"I suppose you're right," said Erwin softly, his eyes still closed. "This is all so much to take in."

He's withdrawing into himself again now that he doesn't have something to distract him. Levi frowned. He swung a leg over the man's lap, straddling him, and clamped a hand over either side of his face.

"Erwin, you're fucking exhausted." He traced the sharp cheekbones with his thumbs. "You need to get some more sleep before we get to the Capital, especially if we're going to the Underground."

"No, I..." Erwin looked up at him, face somber. "I need to unwind a bit first."

"Oh?" asked Levi.

The blue eyes searched his. "I need to spend a few minutes focusing on the one thing in this life I'm sure of."

The words were flattering, but Levi said, "You sure that's a good idea right now?"

Hands clamped onto his hips, glowing with heat. Erwin's gaze was fixed on his lips now, and he was leaning forward. "Please," he whispered. Their lips brushed. "I need you."

This probably isn't the best time for this, given how vulnerable he is right now, thought Levi, but the man's mouth was warm and wet, and Levi felt himself drawn into the kiss. Their heads tilted, their lips parting, their tongues grazing. He groaned into Erwin's mouth. Their surroundings disappeared. No family, no Sahlo, no church, just each other's warmth.

The kiss broke and their foreheads rested together. "I need you," whispered Erwin again, pulling him down into his lap.

I need you, too, though Levi, giving in. He slid his palms along the back of the other's neck, down to his shoulder blades, their torsos pressing together. "Let me fuck you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Levi pressed his mouth to Erwin's neck and sucked gently so he wouldn't leave a mark. "I have plans for you to fuck me later tonight, at the hotel. But I want to be inside you right now."

In response, Erwin lifted him off his lap and pulled out a bag from under the seat. He withdrew a bottle of lubricant from a side pocket.

"Fuck," whispered Levi, feeling a resurgence of the desperation that had been building all day. He knelt between Erwin's legs and unbuttoned his fly. He pulled the pants and underwear off the man's hips, then pulled off one boot, but he was in too much of a rush to pull off the other. Instead, he left Erwin's pants and underwear hanging off one booted leg.

Barely even pausing, Levi grabbed him and leaned in to lick him from base to tip. Erwin let out a long, pleased breath and leaned his head back against the seat.

Fuck, that's hot. Levi's pants were suddenly too binding. It had been a few weeks since he had last done this, and he missed it. If it weren't for the risk of the carriage going over dangerous potholes, he would linger. He gave one more long lick, then kissed the tip.

"Remind me to suck you off for hours tonight."

A corner of Erwin's lips lifted. "Didn't you say you had plans for me to ride you tonight?"

"It's going to be a long night." He slicked a finger and began to ease it in.

"Fuck," breathed Erwin. Levi watched his face for the subtle changes that showed his pleasure: wrinkles formed in the corners of his closed eyes and at the bridge of his nose, his mouth stretched a little wider. Erwin's body was already relaxed. The longer they were together, the less preparation they seemed to require, as if their bodies naturally opened up for each other. He slid in a second finger, watching Erwin's face for the deepening wrinkles, the flush forming on his cheeks. The broad lips parted:

"More."

"You're greedy today," murmured Levi, brushing a third finger against him.

"I need-" The words ended with a gasp as Levi pushed ahead with the third finger. "Fuck!"

"Too much?"

"No, it's good. It's good." Erwin's eyelashes parted a crack. "I'll take everything you want to give me."

"Oh really?" It was tempting to keep going - sometimes, when Erwin was this responsive, Levi could make him orgasm with his fingers alone. Still, he was aching to be inside him, and Erwin would be too sensitive for that if he came beforehand.

Levi kissed the inside of the man's thigh, then withdrew. He hastily pulled down his pants, then reached for the lubricant, but Erwin's hand closed over it first.

"Let me do that."

Levi nodded, bracing himself against the roof of the carriage. The road here was bumpy, the vibrations rattling his teeth. Erwin's slick hand closed around him, squeezing in all the right places, stroking hard. The last remnants of Levi's control instantly dissolved; he bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep himself together, but a wail slid from his mouth anyway. He lunged forward, kissing Erwin so hard that the man's head smacked back against the carriage wall. Erwin caught his cravat and held him in close, head twisting so they could kiss deeper.

Fuck. Levi's eyes closed, feeling the carriage's vibrations ripple through his body. He grabbed Erwin under the knees and tugged. Erwin shifted into place, his calves resting on Levi's shoulders. The best thing about sex in the carriage was that the benches were exactly the right height for Levi to keep kissing him while he was inside him - it took a bit of contortion on Erwin's part, and Levi had to stand on his toes, but it was worth it.

As he began to work his way inside, Erwin gasped and curled tightly around him, chin hooking over Levi's shoulder. Levi ran his tongue around the border of Erwin's ear, working in deeper.

"Fuck," said Erwin, but there was an unusual lack of conviction to the word, as if he were saying it because it was expected. His arms and chin were still curled around Levi's body, grip so tight that it was hard to breathe.

"Erwin?" The word came out as a gasp. "You okay?"

"Don't stop." The words were strange, too. Shaking. Maybe it was just from the road - it was especially bumpy here. Levi gripped the back of the seat with one hand to keep his balance, the other gripped the back of Erwin's head. He pushed in all the way, and Erwin gave a loud cry, clawing into his back.

"Shit." Levi began to rock slowly, even though he was desperate to speed up. "Oh shit, I'm not going to last long." He pushed back, trying disentangle himself from Erwin's grasp so they could share a kiss.

He froze. Erwin's eyes were damp.

"Shit," said Levi, alarmed. "Am I hurting you?"

"I'm fine."

"You look like you're about to cry."

"No, it feels good. It feels so good." Erwin's mouth found his again, whispering into his lips: "Don't stop."

"Are you sure?" Am I imagining things?

"Levi, please; I need you." Erwin began to rock his hips, gyrating against him. The carriage went over a bump, accidentally forcing Levi deeper, and they both gasped.

"Shit." Levi began to thrust again. His open mouth barely grazed Erwin's lips, tasting a string of whispered curses.

"Come on," rasped Erwin. "I need it hard." His hands raked up Levi's back, beneath his shirt, as their pace increased. Levi dug the balls of his feet into the carriage floor for traction, leaning hard into that gasping mouth, kissing with so much force that his teeth dug into the inside of his lips. He felt a trickle of liquid where their cheeks pressed together - a tear? He tried to pull away, but Erwin held him firmly in place, counterthrusting against him.

Then Erwin moaned into his mouth, one hand dropping between his legs and frantically moving. He was tightening in pulses now. He's close, thought Levi, and the realization rippled through his body and down his spine. He could already anticipate that twisting face, those quaking limbs, that strained look on his face...

He tore his mouth away. "Fuck!" He stared at the straining fabric over the man's chest, at the moving hand, and it was too much. He drove into him and buried his face in those flexing chest muscles, coming so hard that he yelled.

Erwin's arm slowed for a few seconds, and Levi felt the man's free hand smooth his hair. It took several seconds for the rush to subside. At last, his body stopped twitching as his muscles relaxed.

"Fuck, Erwin," he whispered, not yet able to lift his head. The fabric by his mouth was damp. Did I slobber all over him? "Sorry, give me a second."

"Take your time." The hand kept gently smoothing the back of his head, and he could hear the thudding heartbeat in the man's ribcage. He was so close. I shouldn't keep him waiting.

Dizzy, he pulled out and dropped to his knees, shifting Erwin's thighs onto his shoulders. His hands smoothed the man's knees as he looked up at him. "Come in my mouth."

Erwin watched him for a second. Then his mouth closed and his throat bobbed. His hand began to move again. Levi moved into position, just barely sucking the tip, three fingers slipping into him. Their eyes locked, and Levi felt himself begin to rise with Erwin, soaring on those flared lips, those pinched brows. Erwin let out a rising moan, then another, his head beginning to tilt back, eyes closing. He seemed completely oblivious to everything around him now, focused only on the approaching peak.

He's so beautiful. Levi slid a hand up the man's abdomen, under his shirt, feeling the flexing muscles. His other hand moved faster, his tongue swirling circles, all of it timed to the movements of Erwin's hand, to his harsh breaths.

"Levi," gasped Erwin. "I'm- Fuck!" He hunched forward, thrusting deep into Levi's mouth.

Levi swallowed, swearing he could feel the man's energy flowing into his body. His groin twitched as if his own orgasm hadn't truly ended until now, as if it still had a few spasms left. The last pulse subsided a few seconds later. He swirled his tongue one last time, then pulled away.

Erwin was still hunched forward, his head hanging low, his body heaving with harsh breaths. Giving him a minute or two to come down, Levi pulled a handkerchief out of the bag and gave himself a few careful wipes. He fastened his pants into place and pulled his boots over his pant legs, then ran a hand through his hair. Once he had finished cleaning up, he was surprised to see that Erwin still hadn't moved.

That's not good. "Erwin?"

There was no response. A tear dripped off the tip of the sharp nose.

"Shit." Levi's stomach dropped. He pulled out a clean handkerchief and sat beside him. "You said you were okay, you idiot."

There was a long pause. At last, Erwin spoke, his voice shaking: "There's a fair bit of stress in my life at the moment."

"No shit." Levi held out the handkerchief. "Look, it's okay. Cry if you need to."

"Crying won't help a thing." Erwin accepting the cloth and dabbed at his eyes, then finally lifted his head. He stared straight ahead, face grim. "I'm sorry, Levi. The sex was good - this isn't anything to do with that."

"I know. It's okay." Sometimes, relaxation prompted them to drop walls that needed to stay up; this wasn't the first time one of them had broken down. He wrapped an arm across Erwin's back and drew him closer. "You don't have to hide yourself from me."

"I know." Erwin rested his cheek against the top of Levi's head.

"You'll figure all this out," said Levi. "You always do."

"I hope you're right." Erwin reached for his hand.

And if not, I'll take care of Sahlo myself, thought Levi. Erwin was a political mastermind, but the Underground played by a different set of rules, one where logic rarely came into play. If they got desperate enough, they might have to get their hands dirty in ways Erwin had never experienced.

Their fingers intertwined, and Levi's throat tightened.

If it comes to it, Erwin, I'll gladly let them drench my hands with blood before I see a single drop of it land on you.