Episode 25 – Mario Kart DS
A/N: Oh my gosh! My first on time update of this fanfic in a long time!
"Everyone, please put boulders on every dead person's grave. This is not a drill!" a television announced. The Mario Gang, Bowser and the Koopalings are watching a suspenseful thriller about an unknown disease that can cause the dead to wake up- not as zombies, but as rude people who will spit on everyone.
"Oh my! Steve! Hurry and put the boulder on your grandfather's grave!" Peach shouted, cupping her mouth with her hand.
"We're on, miss!" The cameraman, Toad, whispered to the princess in pink.
"Oh!" Peach exclaimed all of the sudden, "Welcome everyone to Mario Scenes Gone Wrong! We are at episode 25!"
The huge television where the clips are played displayed 'HAPPY 25TH ANNIEVARIESITY!' on it, as a ton of balloons pour out from the ceiling, along with confetti, ribbons and rubber balls. The audience members cry out in surprise as the rubber balls pelt them on the top of their heads- and a few unlucky, curious members, in the face.
"I swear, that's the last time I'm letting Lemmy spell on the computer," Bowser shook his head, "Everyone knows that it's spelt 'anivaity'."
"Vrong, dad. First, it'z 'spelled', not 'spelt', and second, it's spelled 'Anniversary'," Ludwig corrected.
"No, it's 'anivaity', Ludwig. Dang, those explosions of your inventions rattled your brain a little bit," Bowser fought back with a sassy attitude.
"Vhatever Fazzer."
"Plus isn't Anniversary dealing with years?" Iggy questioned.
"CAN WE PLEASE SHUT THE HECK UP ABOUT THIS ANNIVERSARY CRAP?!" Daisy yelled, "Egad, you guys need to calm down."
"Did someone call my name?" E. Gadd called out from the audience.
"No, E. Gadd. Sit down," Luigi called out.
"Okay. Just remember. If there's somethin' strange, in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call?"
"PROF E. GADD!" The audience screamed out.
"If it's somethin' weird, and it won't look good. Who ya gonna call?"
"PROF E. GADD!" The audience once again shouted.
E. Gadd continued on, "I aint afraid of no ghost-"
"SECURITY!" Roy shouted as he pointed at E. Gadd. Then, a ton of Boos, Bogmire and Lady Bow pick up a screaming E. Gadd, and proceed to carry him to the torture room.
"I thought that fool wasn't afraid of no ghosts," Roy teased, "Okay, you guys can continue."
"Thanks Roy," Daisy thanked, "ANYWAY, before we got a few RUDE INTERRUPTIONS, I will like to announce today's games. Today, we are going over clips from both Mario Kart DS!"
The audience applauds, each of them eager for the clips to begin.
"Okay, first clip. This is why we should never classify Peach and Daisy as two separate weights," Mario announced.
=== MARIO KART DS ===
"Alright," the Mario Kart producers started, "Mario, get on the scale.
Mario gets on the scale, and he is classified as a medium.
"Woo! After that pasta dish I swear I would be a heavy!" Mario sighed with relief.
Luigi steps up onto the plate. He is then classified as a medium also. Luigi doesn't mutter a word as he steps off the scale and stands by Mario.
Peach gets on the scale, and she is then classified as a Lightweight.
"YAY! I'm a lightweight! No big, ugly cars for me!" Peach cried with happiness.
Yoshi is next, and he steps on the scale. He is also classified as a lightweight! However, Yoshi isn't too happy about that.
"WHAT?! YOSHI SHOULD BE MEDIUM WEIGHT!" Yoshi yelped in surprise.
These classifications continued on, from Toad, to DK to Bowser. After Bowser, Daisy gets on the scale.
"Easy. I should be a lightweight," Daisy assured herself.
"Daisy, you are… A MEDIUM!" A producer announced.
"What? WHAT?! HOW THE $*&^#*&%^ AM I A MEDIUM?! I'M THE FREAKING SAME MEASUREMENTS AS PEACH! AND HOW THE HECK IS FREAKING YOSHI LIGHTER THAN ME? ARE YOU FREAKING CALLING ME FAT?! YOU PUT ME IN THE SAME CLASS AS MARIO!" Daisy shouted at the producer.
"Don't yell at me because you're too fat!"
"WHAT!" Daisy shouted as she cracked her knuckles, then stepped towards the producer.
"WOAH WOAH WOAH CUT!"
~7~7~7~7~7
"Haha! Daisy the medium!" Mario teased.
"SHUT UP!" Daisy cried out, "That scarred me!"
"I just wonder how I was a lightweight when Yoshi was also a lightweight and that anorexic Waluigi was a medium," Peach wondered.
"Waluigi's tall, so that's why. Yoshi… I don't know. He can eat the freaking world if he wanted to," Luigi pointed out.
During this conversation, Bowser sat there, absolutely confused, "I'm so confused about this whole classification thing. I'm much more confused than when Ludwig approached those speed limit signs."
=== FLASHBACK ===
Bowser is sitting in the passenger seat of his favorite cruiser, one of his prized Mercedes. There, in the Driver's seat, is Ludwig, barely learning how to drive.
"Okay, son, before you can fly airships, you first need to learn how to drive a car. Man, I knew I should have just had you drive the old caravan…"
"Yeah yeah, Fazzer, I know how to drive," Ludwig rolled his eyes as he drove down the road Bowser told him to.
However, Bowser still has no confidence in his son, "You will learn how to drive, Ludwig."
As Ludwig drove down the road, he sees a speed limit sign, "Speed limit of 35. So I'm supposed to go 35 miles an hour right?"
"Yes, Ludwig."
Ludwig goes 35 until he sees a speed limit sign that says 45, "Now vhat Dad? Vhat sign do I follow?"
"The 45 one, son…"
"But zere was a 35 one back zere," Ludwig asked, confused.
"Do whatever, son…" Bowser hissed as he facepalmed himself.
"Okay, I'll follow both of zem at vunce; I believe in compromise sometimes. Let's see… 35 plus 45 equals 80, so I need to go 80 miles an hour," Ludwig finally concluded as he begins building up to that speed.
"Wrong, son, but whatever. I give up," Bowser sighed in defeat.
"Good, I know I'm right, because look behind us. Zere's a car behind us going around the same speed. Pfft, look at zem, trying to show off vith their flashing lights and loud sounds!" Ludwig laughed.
Bowser was appalled at his son's behavior, "LUDWIG! PULL OVER! THOSE ARE THE BLASTED COPS FOR DAD'S SAKE!"
"… Uh, oops. Vhat did I do vrong?"
Bowser continues to facepalm himself as half the police officers got out of their cars, "Let's just say this, Ludwig: At this rate, you'll never fly an airship, let alone drive a car."
~7~7~7~7~7
"I vuz taught vrong by a zertain source," Ludwig defended himself.
"I did NOT teach you wrong!" Bowser clarified.
"Just to let you know, Bowser," Mario reminded, "You were in the Mario Kart series. Ludwig got his speeding habits from you."
"Hardy har har, Mario," Bowser laughed sarcastically.
"Plus, you were a worse driver than Ludwig," Mario bashed on Bowser even more, "Remember when we were driving in Waluigi's Pinball map?"
=== MARIO KART DS ===
Bowser, along with the other characters, is on the Waluigi Pinball course.
"Weehee! This is fun! And oops, I sounded like Mario! Hahaha!"
Bowser continues to drive down the course, and he eventually ends up in the main area with all the pinballs.
"OH MY GOSH! THESE BALL THINGS ARE HUGE!" Bowser screamed out loud.
Bowser tries desperately to avoid the balls, but he runs into one.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Bowser starts screaming like a girl as he basically gets flattened by the huge silver ball, "MOMMY SAVE ME!"
~7~7~7~7~7
Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy are laughing out loud, "SHUT UP! IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN SCREAM LIKE A GIRL!"
Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy are laughing even louder and harder now, "WOO! Bowser! Oh my gosh boy!" Peach gasped in between laughs.
"You should hear Bowser scream when his favorite soap opera is cancelled!" Larry exclaimed.
Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy, at this point, are guffawing. Because of her laughter, Daisy falls onto the floor, picks up her chair by one of its legs, and starts pounding it on the floor as she rolls around in laughter. After a few minutes of this wild behavior, the four of them finally calm down.
"Hahaha! Haha! Whew!" Peach slowed down her laughter, "Bowser, your antics crack me up!"
Bowser waves Peach off with his claws, "Whatever, let's go on!"
"I haven't laughed this hard since Luigi got hypnotized…" Daisy giggled.
=== FLASHBACK ===
Luigi, along with 14 other people, are standing in front of a chair, with both a hypnotist and a huge audience, including Daisy, in front of the fifteen of them. The hypnotist told them to look into a light, then to slowly close their eyes, and to think of his voice, and his voice only. Eventually, they all fell asleep. As they fell asleep, the hypnotist had them sit down. However, before he got to Luigi, Luigi collapses on the floor.
"HAHA!" Daisy laughed, along with the rest of the audience.
Eventually, the hypnotist told the hypnotized people to think of a funny movie. The hypnotized people suddenly start laughing so hard, including Luigi, who was dancing as he was laughing!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Daisy laughed, tears coming into her eyes because of her laughter.
Eventually, the hypnotist put his hand on Luigi, and said "The person I am touching right now will think he is the King of the Mushroom Kingdom, and he's about to give a wonderful speech. Let's hear it now."
As the hypnotist says that, Luigi stood up, with absolutely no fear in his eyes, unlike other times that he's in front of people, and starts his speech.
"Dear citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom! I'm here to give you all a great speech! We all should be focused on our life and our well-being, because it's important! Oh, and also make sure to pay your taxes! If you don't, you'll be arrested! Okay bye!" Luigi announced as he sat down.
"Oh my gosh! This is great!" Daisy laughed to herself.
~7~7~7~7~7
"Sad thing is I don't remember a thing that I did," Luigi shook his head.
"No worries, Weeg, I record it all. If we ever break up, I'll broadcast it on live TV."
"Rude, Daisy."
"I'M JUST KIDDING!" Daisy exclaimed.
"Oh."
Peach giggled at the two before continuing on, "Alright! Last clip of the day! What happens when Mario, Luigi, Daisy and I all race together?"
=== MARIO KART DS ===
The gang is on Rainbow Road; what other course is better to choose? Actually, there are a lot better ones. But anyway.
Lakitu is above the characters, counting down. 3! 2! 1! GO!
Instantly, Mario, Peach, Luigi and Daisy speeds off. Mario looks over at Peach and says, "Hey woman! I'm going to win this!"
"KISS A FROG, MARIO! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN ANYTHING!" Peach shouted back at him. However, during their little disagreement, Luigi, Daisy and a few other racers are able to pass them. Mario looks at the passers and instantly glares at Peach.
"LOOK PEACH! YOU'RE MAKING ME LOSE!" Mario cried out in anger.
Peach smiled as she speeds off, pulling ahead of Mario. She then is able to pass Waluigi, Toad, Bowser and Yoshi, eventually catching up to Luigi and Daisy.
Luigi and Daisy, however, are holding hands as they both speed off, "Oh man, not even speed can separate us, boo. Hehe xx," Daisy flirted.
All of the sudden, Bowser somehow speeds in front of them, Placing both Luigi and Daisy in second and third places.
"&^%&^ YEAH!" Bowser shouted out in happiness.
"MISTER MAN! DO NOT CUSS!" Clawdia shouted as she sped off in a pink kart. Bowser is so distracted that he fell off the edge.
"HOW THE HECK DID CLAWDIA GET IN THIS RACE?!" Bowser exclaimed.
Meanwhile, with Mario and Peach:
Peach is speeding her way to fifth place, while Mario is in seventh. Mario manages to pass Waluigi, giving him in the sixth place position right now.
"PEACH! I'm catching up to you!" Mario cooed.
Peach is beginning to get upset, "MARIO! DON'T YOU PASS ME! OR I WILL THROW YOU INTO JAIL!"
"You can't throw this beast into jail, he'll break out! Haha!" Mario laughed as he passed her, claiming her fifth place.
Peach's face is now red, "^&% %^ YOU MARIO!"
~7~7~7~7~7
"I love teasing you, Mario," Peach laughed.
"Whatever,"
"Wait," Wendy interrupted, "What place did Clawdia get?"
"AHH! DON'T SAY THAT NAME!" Bowser freaked out as a hole appears in the ceiling, and a Koopa with a pink shell, rainbow hair and a hairbow falls from the hole.
"BOWSER! There you are!" Clawdia cooed, "Don't play hard to get! I know you love me!"
"AHH! CUT THE FEED!" Bowser cried out, "NEXT GAME IS THAT ONE BASEBALL ONE! OKAY BYE!"
~7~7~7~7~7
A/N: I was originally going to do Mario Kart DS and Mario kart Wii, but I decided to make both of them seperate chapters. Ta ta for now!