Disclaimer: No copyright intended.
Chapter 25
APOV
I would have to be sneaky, and conniving and maybe even a bit seductive.
Rose was right, our apartment was too small and you can't have a welcome home party at someone else's house, so the only viable option was to hold the party at Bella and Edward's house. Their very large house, the solution was staring us straight in the face yelling "Do it, do it, do it!" at the top of its lungs. The only hurdle, Jasper, Bella had given him the keys with strict instructions not to let me near them. Where was the trust?
I was coached by Rose thoroughly and I went in. It was the night before their return so I only had this one chance to succeed. It was late at night; Jasper would be tired and less on the ball. Good start. I was also wearing the skimpiest, racy piece of Victoria's Secret Lingerie I could find; distractions, good work Alice.
In I went, I asked, I was shut down, I begged, denied again, finally I seduced, walking out with a shiny set of keys in my palm. Man, Jasper was easy.
Bright and early the next day began the preparation. I hauled Jasper's ass out of bed and we went to Rose and Em's. I don't know why but they weren't happy to see me.
"It is six freekin' o'clock in the morning Alice." Rose screeched at me.
"Yes," I chimed, "But good news." I dangled the keys in her face and immediately her features softened.
"Keys," She sighed, "Party!" She yelled jumping up and down with me.
We headed over to the house and started getting it party worthy, just a bit of furniture moving, nothing big.
"Alice," Jasper hedged nervously, "Are you sure Bella won't mind you moving her coffee table upstairs?"
"Jasper, it was in the way." I explained.
"Promise me you won't go overboard." He begged staring me down.
Blinking, I slowly nodded my head without realising what I was promising. What did he mean by overboard?
"Boys," I rounded up and Emmett and Jasper came running, almost as if they were afraid, "I need you to top up on supplies." I said handing them a list, "Don't. Screw. Up." I added menacingly.
"What's wrong with this picture?" Rose asked after the boy's left as she scrutinised the living room.
The couch was in the right place, the television set didn't need moving, the coffee table was upstairs, the bookcases were neat, the tree,
"The tree," I answered.
"Yes," Rose agreed, "You can't have a welcome home / happy new year party with a dead tree in the living room."
We found the boxes in the garage and carefully, and systematically – will Bella ever learn? – put the adornments away until the tree was bare.
"What do we do with the tree?" I asked.
"Normally you chuck it out, did they leave the truck here?" Rose asked me.
"Yep, if we put it in the back of the truck maybe Bella with trash the whole package!" I joked. We carried the tree through the living room, through the kitchen to the door which led to the garage.
Halfway through the door Rose says, "Maybe the truck should be the other way." I dropped the tree and she laughed, "I'll move it."
RPOV
I left Alice swamped with pine needles and fuming and went to turn Bella's hideous truck around. If they did take the tree to the tip maybe the garbage men might just chuck the whole truck in. Bye, bye truck, I laughed evilly. I got into the driver's side of the cab; it started straight away without much fuss except for the roaring sound.
I backed it out and performed a pretty darn perfect three point turn. Just as I begun to reverse it backwards Emmett, for god knows what reason, somehow dives into the cab of the truck landing on the passenger seat.
"Jesus Christ Emmett what the hell is wrong with you?" I screeched as I slammed on the brakes and watched his senseless form roll onto the floor of the cab. His legs were still out the door, which was swinging violently on them.
"Are you ok?" I asked unbuckling my seatbelt and rushing around to his side. He was such an idiot, but I couldn't help feel concern for him. Hey what can I say, I love the idiot.
"Yea, Rosie I'm fine," He said straightening up.
"Then why the fuck did you do that?" I said whacking the crap out of his chest. Chances are that he won't feel it, too thick for his own good.
"Look at this Rose," He said standing straight, this time I noticed that he held something in his hands. A DVD case, he opened it.
"Wonder what it is?" He asked.
"Don't you recognise it?" I responded all anger forgotten.
He stared at me blankly, "Remember Edward and Bella's 'sex tape'?" Realisation dawned on him.
"Let's watch it." He smiled enthusiastically.
"God Em, she is your sister you know?" I said.
"Not the sex part Rosie; just the beginning remember," He said, I did, I had said the same thing to him when we first discovered this mysterious little case, "Eternal bragging rights." He smiled.
We walked through the garage leaving the truck where it was.
"Rosalie Swan, what the hell do you think you are doing?" Screeched the shaking Christmas tree.
"What the hell is that?" Emmett asked as I begun to climb over the pine needles that were blocking our entrance to the house.
"Alice, where are you?" I asked, it was a big tree I know, but how did she get lost?
One slender, manicured, ring covered white hand shot up into the air. I climbed out of the way and Emmett tugged on her hand.
"Who would've known? I thought pixies lived in gardens, not trees." He laughed at his own joke.
I rolled my eyes at him and pulled Alice away from the tree and helped her dust herself free of pine needles.
"You just leave me there, itchy, old, dirty," Alice rambled.
"You'll never guess what I found," I sung, buzzing with excitement.
Emmett held up the DVD case.
"Whoopdeedo, DVD case, it's a magic disk that plays movies Emmett," Alice explained. She must be pissed; I only left her alone for a couple of minutes, so get over it.
"Yes, but it's something of Edward and Bella, something that they fought pretty damn hard to conceal from me and Emmett a couple of months ago."
"Well it's probably private, let's watch it!" She squealed returning to her normal exuberant self.
"Jazz, come watch this!" She chirped as she quickly put it into the DVD player.
The DVD went to the main menu with only one option, play, Alice quickly hit it and we were thrown into confusion.
"Emmett, is that you?" I asked.
"No," He said lying, badly.
"Hey, this is you bachelor party." Jasper said speaking for the first time.
Emmett was dancing atop of an unfamiliar bar, "Maybe we shouldn't watch this." Emmett said.
"No we are." Alice said with finality.
The wild crazy shot continued until the video clicked over to a new scene.
"Hey, that's Bella's sweater, you know the one she doesn't like to wear because it accentuates her cleavage." Alice said
"Alice!" Whined Emmett.
Edward appeared on camera, "Oh, this must have been how they met." I sighed.
"Did Bella just order whiskey?" Alice asked cringing; we both knew the effects that drink had on her.
They continued talking. I have no idea why they hid this from us, it was boring as hell, but if there was cause to hide such a disk then something good must be coming.
"Hey, kids, shake loose a lemon"
We all looked at each other and laughed, as soon as Bella had told Alice about her infamous bar scene Alice had forwarded the link to us all, now seeing its origin made us laugh even harder. The song finished and we were all sobering up.
"I'm already drunk, now all there is left to do is screw." Camera Bella said. I never knew she was so forward.
"I don't want to watch this." Emmett said jumping up in front of the TV.
"Emmett, sit down, I'm sure they didn't do anything." I reassured him, Edward was too frigid back then.
"I don't want to see my little sister screw my best friend," He said, "Sorry Jasper." He added as an afterthought.
"It's cool man, I don't want to see that either," He conceded, "Look Ali, you've got your proof that it's a sex tape can we please stop watching it?" He said to her but she wasn't looking at him
"Shut up," She screeched, yes Alice screeched. Her face was ashen and she began tugging on her short black hair in distress, something I've never seen before.
"Ali, are you ok?" I asked worried.
"Can you rewind this?" She asked snatching the remote and numbly hitting the button that rewound slowly. We all watched in silence as Edward's lips moved slowly.
Alice hit play.
"Marry me." Edward said.
"Ok." Bella agreed.
"Please tell me they're not going to get married are they?" Alice begged.
I didn't know. Bella would tell us right? She's our friend! Especially something this huge! I was starting to see red. I can't believe they would get married before Emmett's and my wedding! She was married first and refused to tell us! I focused back on the screen.
It was all feet and the picture was shaking, they're running.
Everyone sat still as we watched Edward put money into the ring machine, Alice looked the worst of all.
They were now in the chapel.
"They're really going to do it aren't they?" It wasn't Alice who said that though, it was Emmett.
I looked at him and took his hand in mine rubbing it soothingly. No matter how mad I was at Bella for marrying first and not telling us, Emmett was worse off. It was every big brother's worst nightmare, their baby sister running off to some strange city, getting drunk and marrying the drunken stranger next to her.
The four of us sat in silence as we watched a hefty Elvis marry our two friends whilst they were under the influence.
We watched as the ignorant chapel owners watched as our friends signed away their single lives. It was legal and official.
"How could they do that?" I yelled angrily, though I don't know who I was angrier at; our friends or the people who made a profit out of their humiliation.
I was the most vocal one throughout the whole ordeal we just watched. Emmett looked angry, angrier than I felt, but Alice, well her face just broke my heart. She looked downright distressed.
We all heard the front door open but made no move to welcome whoever it was.
"So Mrs Cullen, how does it feel being tied down?" Bella said.
Real Edward and Bella entered the living room. We all turned to look at them. Their eyes flickering between our faces and the television screen, almost as if they were frightened of us. I laughed bitterly yet silently to myself. They should be.
A/N I'm stalling aren't I? Sorry, but I felt it would be a good idea to hear how they got in and initial reactions. Was it a pass or epic fail?