The last ones left
Smoke drifted upwards from the destroyed library.
"This was fun," Buffy said as she laid on the ground, her back bent at an unnatural angle and a slowly growing pool of blood under her.
"Tons," Willow agreed, one of her arms missing and using her remaining hand to stroke the hair of the Slayer's head in her lap, unaware that Kennedy had passed away a few minutes before.
"Our reunions are never boring," Xander agreed as he crawled towards Dawn, the spear sticking through him scraping against the ground loudly.
Dawn was unable to move, the lower half of her body crushed beneath a ton of bricks as she waited for Xander to reach her. "Have I thanked you for the 'feel no pain' spell recently?" Dawn asked Willow, grasping Xander's hand as he reached her.
"About... ten times?" Willow guessed. "I"m kinda drifting here."
"Ditto," Buffy said.
"Make it an even dozen," Xander said as he stroked Dawn's cheek, "cause it makes this much more pleasant."
"The bomb is set to go off in a couple of minutes, so it's not like the painkiller spell's side effects really matter at this point," Willow said calmly.
"Still way cool," Buffy said cheerfully. "So... anyone have any last words or regrets?"
"I'd have liked more sex with Xander," Dawn teased. "Oh, and to have done everything earlier, because waiting till I was older was a waste of time."
"Yeah, we never did mature all that much, we just got older," he said with a chuckle, leaning his head against Dawn's.
"I'd have liked to have more time with the people I loved," Willow said, finally noticing Kennedy was dead and gently closing her eyes. "Oh, and more sex with Xander," she said to lighten the mood.
When the laughter died down Buffy's eyes had come to rest on Faith's head, which held a wicked grin, even in death. "I... regret the way I treated Faith," she admitted. "In fact, I regret the way I treated being a Slayer. I really should have enjoyed what I had, not dwelled on what I didn't."
Silence fell for a moment, with only the clicking of the bomb's timer to note the passing of time.
"Oh, and more sex with Xander," Buffy said to break the silence, making everyone laugh once more.
"I didn't know you two had, had sex," Dawn said, leaning into Xander.
"Just some grinding," Buffy said. "Looking back on it, I'm not sure which I regret more, the people I didn't have sex with or those I did."
"What do you regret?" Willow said absently stroking her dead girlfriend's hair before she realized she was doing so and forced herself to stop.
"Me?" Xander asked. "I regret... not taking it all serious enough."
"Pretty sure without you keeping us laughing we'd all have been crying way too much," Buffy said.
"Not like that," Xander said. "I mean... I regret not trying harder... it took me years before I learned to give it my all and not hold back because I was sure I was going to fail."
Dawn yawned loudly.
"Hey, none of that," Buffy said. "No falling asleep, you'll miss all the fireworks."
"Pretty sure when the bomb goes off we won't see it," Willow said, as she saw the timer drop under half a minute.
"It's the principle of the thing," Buffy replied, "she does the same thing every fourth of July."
Dawn laughed, coughing up a little blood, which Xander wiped off. "I'll keep awake this once," she promised.
There was a flash of light as a red robed demon appeared. "The closing of the final Hellmouth," he noted with a sigh. "Feels like the end of an era."
"It is, "Willow said unconcerned. "The Mayan calendar marks the change to a new world, it just wasn't perfectly accurate."
"Hey Hoff," Xander said. "Good to see you got here for the big finish."
"Big finish," Hoff said with a chuckle. "I have two words for you," he said as a sharklike grin began to grow on his face.
"None of us said the 'W' word," Dawn said with a smile.
"Wish is an English word, and not really needed," the demon confided in them. "All that's really needed is for someone to express dissatisfaction and..."
"Regret," Willow said aloud.
"Exactly," D'Hoffryn agreed, "it's more a catchphrase than anything else. Now everyone say it with me."
"Wish granted!" the group chorused, and the world vanished in a wave of light.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Can I have you?" Xander asked as he handed Buffy her papers that she'd dropped.
"I think my little sister would complain," Buffy replied as she realized where and when she was.
Xander straightened up, his habitual slouch gone. "Wow, your mom is going to hate me."
"Mom loves you," Buffy said as she straightened up her stuff.
"With how Dawn's going to behave around me?" Xander asked.
Buffy winced. "Yeah, she's going to dismember you with a butter knife."
"If I'm lucky," Xander agreed. "We are going to have to do a big reveal to her."
"That might distract her from your putting your penis in her daughters," Buffy teased.
"Moms assume all guys are there to do that anyway," Xander said as the bell rang and they went to find Willow.
A red faced Cordelia pushed past them as they entered the quad only to find Jesse yelling at Willow.
"I can't believe you said that!" Jesse yelled. "I mean..." his voice trailed off and he started speaking in a quieter voice," I'm trying to hook up with Cordelia, and... and... that was way out of line. Awesome, but way out of line."
Willow shrugged. "You can't call dibs on a person and you really should go for a girl you actually have a chance with."
"Did she insult Cordelia?" Buffy asked, surprising Jesse who hadn't known they were there.
"She tried to insult me, so I hit on her," Willow replied. "But with tits like that, you can hardly blame me."
"She does have magnificent boobs," Buffy agreed.
"Buffy, Jesse," Xander said, introducing the pair. "Does this mean you no longer crave my mineral?" he asked Willow.
"It's Tuesday, I like tacos on Tuesday," Willow joked.
"I'm in the Twilight Zone," Jesse said, shocked at the way Willow and now Xander were behaving.
"Close," Buffy admitted as she considered it. Really with all they'd gone through in Sunnydale she had to admit living on the Hellmouth did have some strong similarities.
"We should set him up with Marcie," Willow said.
"Marcie?" Jesse asked confused at the sudden change in topic.
"Marcie is easy to overlook, she exemplifies Plain Jane," Xander explained. "She needs someone to help her break out of her shell and cut loose."
"But Cordelia..." Jesse whined.
"Has got a great body, but is only looking for things in a guy you don't have," Willow said. "I have a better chance of landing her than you do."
"Are you trying to remain a virgin?" Buffy asked. "Cause seriously, trying to score that far out of the zone means you are trying to not score at all, so you either want to remain a virgin or are gay and covering for it."
"Either way, we're still your friends," Xander assured him.
It took Jesse a minute to recover. "I... Seriously, I have that little a chance?"
"Yeah," Xander said. "Cordelia isn't the deepest girl in the world, she only dates guys who improve her social position. Give it a few years and that'll change, but for now all you're doing is making yourself look even less datable in her eyes."
"The good news is you definitely don't love her or you'd have been able to see beyond her tits," Willow told him. "She's a good stroke fantasy, but that's all."
"That... makes me feel a little better," Jesse admitted.
"If you just want to get laid, I suggest Harmony," Xander said.
"Hasn't she slept with everyone?" Jesse asked.
"No, that's just a rumor Cordelia started to make sure she doesn't take her place as bitch queen of the school," Willow said.
"She's also shallow, but in her case, it's because she doesn't know any better," Xander told him. "With a little work we can put you on her radar."
"I... gotta think about this," Jesse said before leaving.
"If we tattooed a bunch of crosses on him we could probably guarantee he doesn't become a vamp," Buffy said. "We have a party, he falls asleep first, and we tattoo him, right?"
"It's draw dicks on their face," Xander said. "And... we can discuss tattooing his neck later. Willow, what side effects does the pain killer spell have?"
"Completely kills the ability to feel pain, ramps up endorphin levels, increases healing rates, and metabolism," Willow explained.
"So we heal faster, eat more, and are continually stoned?" Xander asked.
"Not quite stoned, but yeah," Willow agreed, "the effects are similar."
"How long do the effects last?" Buffy asked.
"It's permanent," Willow replied. "That's why I didn't use it until it no longer mattered."
"If I wasn't feeling so good, I might worry about that," Xander said.
"We'll adapt," Willow said with a shrug.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"OK, plans?" Buffy asked. "Cause I plan on getting Faith as soon as possible, and setting Kissy-toast on fire while I'm there, just to be safe."
"We can probably get away with a lot by claiming you had a Slayer Dream about it," Xander said.
"A Slayer Dream about the winning lottery numbers would really help with that, hint hint," Buffy said.
"Not a problem, a spell to enhance memory should make it easy to recall some lottery numbers," Willow said.
"The mansion Angelus used should have plenty of room for Faith, her Watcher, Tara, her mom, and... me," Xander decided.
"You?" Buffy asked.
"Home sucks, I'll be happier elsewhere," Xander said. "Plus me moving out early will make my parents happy as well."
"I'll join you," Willow said. "My parents are gone enough that I only have to make token appearances and forward their calls to fool them."
"Big reveal before or after the lottery?" Buffy asked.
"Before," Xander said. "Joyce is going to notice you and Dawn behaving different than she's used to, so we want to take care of that first."
"You just don't want Mom killing you," Buffy teased.
"Guilty," Xander agreed. "I'm also hoping Wills knows an aging spell or two."
"I'm not sure, but making Dawn older might upset her more than Dawn having sex," Buffy said.
"We might want to consider getting your Mom nice and relaxed, possibly stoned before dropping all this on her," Xander said.
"Giles and band candy would work, but we are fresh out of cursed chocolate," Buffy said.
"Ted," Xander said suddenly. "Ted and his relaxing cookies. A little bit of reprogramming and he can 'relax' her, give her some cooking, and then we tell her."
"I can reprogram Ted," Willow said cheerfully. "I did enough work on Botty to know my way around an android."
"You don't think the pain killer spell is affecting our planning skills, do you?" Buffy asked.
"Nah, this is a great plan," Xander assured her.
"If anything our planning skills have improved," Willow assured her. "Normally we'd just wing it and see what happens, this time we have a solid idea of what to do."
"OK," Buffy said cheerfully. "You get the tazer, I get the ski-masks?"
Typing by: Abyssal Angel