Paul washed Tallulah's lip with antiseptic and as I watched, he stitched shut the swollen, split flesh. The opium muted the pain of the needle but it was muting Tallulah that was the problem; she kept talking to me albeit, slurring her words, saying she was sorry over and over and asking if I was angry at her. I stood at the head of the table and held her head firmly, one hand on each side, and reassured her repeatedly that I wasn't angry and finally, I had to threaten her that I would leave if she didn't be quiet and keep still. Then she stopped talking and closed her eyes, the tears escaping and rolling down her cheeks.

Finally, Tallulah fell back asleep and while she slept, I washed her face, neck and arms with a warm cloth. She would stir occasionally, move in her sleep, and I would wait, holding my breath until she settled down again. What I really wanted to do was hold her next to me, to feel her against me—I fully realized how much she meant to me. Tallulah had completely captured my heart. Oh, she'd always had part of it but now it was all hers. I asked Paul if he thought she had been violated—I couldn't bring myself to use a harsher word like rape; I didn't want to make it real by saying it out loud. Paul said that he would have to examine her which he needed to do anyway, and asked me to step outside the surgery; he would come out and talk to me when he was through.

Roy, Luke and I were sitting in the outer room of Paul's office where patients waited to see him. Thankfully, no one else was there as I don't think I could have abode it, someone talking about their misery in their joints or a head cold—not with what Tallulah had survived. Finally Paul came out.

"Well, I examined her, she's still not able to talk about what happened—she's basically still unintelligible. But it looks as if no crime has occurred beyond assault and battery, the beating and the opium injection."

I sighed and sat back. Tallulah had been spared the worst that could have happened. "Well, that's a relief. She'll have a hard enough time dealing with what did happen."

"Adam," Roy said, standing up, "you want to press charges for Miss Mason? Assault? Battery? I can make a case for kidnapping too. I'll go in with a posse and arrest Hong Fu and drag that son-of a-bitch out by his ponytail."

I considered. I wanted to see Hong Fu locked up but more than that, I wanted to beat his fucking face to a bloody pulp and then send him on his way to hell. Nevertheless, he would probably only serve six months for assault and probably a consecutive term for kidnapping—if that could even be proved. Then Hong Fu would be out. But I knew that as soon as he was arrested, I would have to watch my back. And there was Tallulah. And my whole family. And Hop Sing's family. And Roy. And Luke.

"No," I said quietly. "No charges."

"Adam," Roy said, talking to me in that paternal way he had, "you can't let that Hong Fu get away with this. Just say the word and I'll have his ass in my jail."

Roy has known me since I was about 13 and he always saw me, no matter how old I was, as a child. I know what that's like—I still see Joe as a small boy striving for the affection from a female that he lost along with his mother and I still see Tallulah as the young girl I knew four years ago. Therefore, I always keep my patience with Roy as I know he cares about me and had once told me long ago that if he had a son he would want him to be like me; that had almost moved me to tears. So I replied with forbearance, "No, Roy. I appreciate it but no."

Roy shook his head and then told Luke that they may as well go. "I hope that Miss Mason recovers just fine, Adam—keep me updated, would you? And if she decides she wants to press charges, let me know." He walked out.

But before Luke left, he said quietly to me, "I wouldn't say this to Roy—he's a brave man and to him, the law is one thing that should be enforced no matter what, but I think you made the best decision. The dragon has many coils and they choke his enemies and the head is so far from the tail that it can claim no knowledge of the tail's actions."

I smiled slightly; small consolation. Luke left and Paul put his hand on my shoulder.

"When can she leave?" I just wanted to have Tallulah safely ensconced at the Ponderosa.

"Give her about two, maybe three more hours. She won't be herself but she'll be well enough to travel."

I thanked Paul and said that I would be back; I had to rent a buggy and find clothes for Tallulah—and Nancy at The Crown would have some.

I think all women have a 6th sense off which men are devoid because Nancy said that she had a dream about me the night before in which I had brought Tallulah to her and told her to take care of her. But she knew as soon as she saw me that something was wrong and she knew it was Tallulah; of course, why else would I be at The Crown in the early afternoon? To get fucked? I found I was angry—and I wanted to take it out on Nancy, to spit out snide insults but I held in my feelings. After all, I needed her help and although I was certain she wouldn't deny Tallulah assistance just to get back at me, I wanted to have things go smoothly and leave. I told Nancy briefly what happened but held back on the opium; I didn't know what Tallulah would want me to share about her. Nevertheless, I said that Tallulah's clothing had been torn and that she needed a dress and perhaps some shoes although I had no idea of her size. Nancy left me and came back about fifteen minutes later with a simple gingham dress, a bonnet and a pair of flat leather slippers. She said they would probably fit and even if they weren't a perfect fit, as long as Tallulah wasn't walking far, they would serve.

"The bonnet will hide her face from people who might be looking; they won't see the bruise." I thanked her. "What are you going to do about her?" Nancy asked.

"It's not my place to do anything about her. That's up to Tallulah—not me. I have no control over what she does."

"You know that's not true. I could tell you that Tallulah loves you—but you already know that. It may be she only thinks she loves because she doesn't really know any other men or it may be that she truly does love you. Who knows? Just be gentle with her; Tallulah has delicate sensibilities and thinks the world of you, Adam." Nancy turned and left me standing there in the foyer of The Crown. She was right. I knew that Tallulah loved me and if I told her to go back east, she would be devastated by my rejection of her. If she stayed in town, I would be frantic with worry for her, wanting to see her, wanting to listen to her voice as she told me of her day—wanting to hold her in my arms and kiss her mouth, her pliant, soft accommodating mouth. But most of all, I would want to feel her bare skin under my hands, next to my chest and belly and have her clasp me in a lover's embrace and moan under me as she trapped me between her legs. I loved that girl.

I had to help Tallulah dress as her legs were wobbly and she couldn't get her arms through the sleeves. It was odd to see her so lethargic although I could tell she was trying to focus. Her lip was swollen and odd-looking with the black stitches. I had split my lip years ago and Joe had split and stitched lips twice but it looked so out of place on Tallulah, especially along with the bruise on her cheek.

Paul and I walked Tallulah to the buggy and helped her up but she resisted us the whole way. She held onto the edge of the seat while I climbed in the other side and she swayed slightly; she was still obviously under the influence of the opium to some degree. From what I knew, opium made people compliant and passive but it seemed to have the opposite effect on Tallulah; she became slightly belligerent.

"Thanks, Paul," I said and snapped the reins and we headed to the Ponderosa.

We were out a half hour when Tallulah grabbed my arm. "Stop. Please." I pulled up the horse and Tallulah leaned over the side of the buggy and violently retched. She sobbed and then retched some more. I held onto her while she leaned over and I could feel the strain in her body. Finally, I pulled her to me, pulled out my handkerchief and wiped her mouth.

"Oh, Adam. I was so stupid—so very stupid. You told me but I thought I knew better. Oh, Adam." She held on to my shirt front and cried.

I wanted to tell her that yes, she had been stupid but I couldn't. She was my wounded angel and I couldn't hurt her more. So I just started up the horse and Tallulah leaned against me and shut her eyes.

"We'll be home soon, Tallulah."

Pa was there when we arrived home and between him and Hop Sing fussing over her, her inability to find the stairs with her feet, I managed to basically drag Tallulah upstairs and onto her bed where she collapsed. She looked up at me and thanked me again and I smiled down at her—it wasn't much of a smile but it had to do.

"What the hell happened, Adam?" Pa asked once we were back downstairs.

"Pour me a drink—better pour one for yourself too-and I'll tell you."

Tallulah's bruises were hard to see; every time I saw her, I couldn't help but think what she had gone through and I would again see her lying on the filthy mattresses and the stench seemed to stay in my nostrils—and I would become enraged again. I dreamed about it, that she was reaching out to me through the bars and I couldn't open the crib and let her out-and I would wake up in a sweat, my heart pounding over how close she had come to being used by the men waiting to get at her. But I knew the bruises would fade to yellow and slowly disappear. Paul would soon remove the stitches and Tallulah would be as beautiful as before but she wouldn't be the same; she had already changed. There wasn't the innocence anymore, the desire to change the world. Hong Fu had stolen it from her and for that alone, I wanted to kill him but I knew that eventually, someone would take him down—someone-and perhaps, I could find that someone and help him financially or any other way desired. It was possible to take down Hong Fu—Hop Sing had implied as much; "Tigers make enemies and not all men in Chinatown are mice. Some are younger tigers waiting to grow claws sharper and longer." He had looked at me in a conspiratorial manner and I put my hand on his shoulder. I told him that I would help the young tiger grow claws in any way I could and Hop Sing nodded.

Tallulah often ran her tongue against the bump of flesh in her lower lip. I told her it would go down in a few months and in a year, she would barely be able to feel it. But Tallulah was uncomfortable around me and dropped her eyes whenever I spoke to her and avoided being alone with me. I suppose she was embarrassed as I had seen her in such a bad state.

It was at dinner two days later when Tallulah falteringly brought up starting work at the dressmaker's. "I can't continue to live off your charity."

Pa argued with her as did Hoss—it wasn't charity, my father said, but hospitality. Tallulah said that if she didn't go in to work for her first day, she would be fired and she already owed Mrs. Fry for altering her dresses. She would work in the back of the shop, she said, so it didn't matter that her face was still bruised and her lip still had stitches. She would tell Mrs. Fry she fell off a horse and no one would question it. Then Tallulah looked to me and said, "Would you take me into town tomorrow morning, Adam? I should be there early since it'll be my first day."

"No."

Pa and Hoss looked at one another and I could tell that Tallulah was taken aback as well. I think she wanted to speak to me alone under the sky, out in the open where no one else could hear our exchange. She hadn't yet talked to me alone and I wouldn't go to her room to talk to her—not after what she had been through and she didn't come to me. I suppose we were at odds with one another.

"No?" she repeated.

"No." Silence reigned and no one spoke or raised a fork but just sat.

Then Hoss spoke up. He couldn't bear to see people upset and I had to admire that Hoss had developed a friendship with Tallulah although he had confided to me that sometimes when he looked at her, he still wondered what it would be like to climb on top of her and pound away.

"I'll drive you in, Tallulah. Just tell me what time you want to leave and I'll have the buggy ready and waitin'." Tallulah thanked him and we continued to eat with my father making small talk about how Virginia City had grown and all three of them kept glancing at me as I calmly finished my meal.

I came home early for lunch leaving Joe and the foreman in charge. I needed to find out how things had gone with Tallulah that morning. Hoss was by the barn saddling up his horse.

"I was just comin' out to help you," he said. "I was even gonna skip Hop Sing's lunch and eat beans and bacon with the hands but they'll be enough lunch left for later since ain't no one but Pa eatin' and I ain't even sure 'bout him." Hoss's face was grim and his lips were tight.

"What do you mean? What happened?" I looped my horse's reins over the hitching rail.

"Adam, I started driving Tallulah into town this mornin' but the closer Tallulah got to town, the more edgy she got. Finally, she was shakin' like a leaf and white as paper. She begged me to stop the buggy and then she climbed out afore I could even get down to help her. She just started walking back and forth and kept tryin' to catch her breath sayin' she couldn't breathe none. Adam, she was panicking—I seen deer do that afore—not know in which direction to go and that's what she was like. She kept sayin' she couldn't go, she couldn't go. Adam, I think she's 'fraid to go to town 'cause of what happened. Then she begged me to take her back to the Ponderosa or she'd walk back, she said and grabbed ahold of me and begged me. I swear, Adam, she was near scared to death—broke my heart. So I brought her back and she's been up in her room the whole time. You can hear her just walkin' back and forth. Pa tried to talk to her but she wouldn't have nothn' to do with him or Hop Sing—just asked to be left alone. I'm glad you're home. Maybe you can say somethin' to her, somethin' nice."

Without a word, I left Hoss and went into the house.

"Adam," Pa said but I didn't stop, just pulled off my hat and took the stairs two at a time to Tallulah's door.

I rapped twice and called out Tallulah's name. "Open up."

After a few moments the door opened and Tallulah stepped back and then dropped her head. "Don't look at me, Adam. I can't even bear to look in the mirror. And I'm such a fool."

"Bruises fade, your lip will heal and you'll be your lovely self again. And you're no fool." I tried to keep my voice calm—Hoss had asked that I say something nice.

"No, I won't ever be my 'lovely' self again, if I ever was. Did you hear what happened on the ride to town? I couldn't go to town, was terrified to go—begged Hoss to bring me back."

"That'll pass. It'll take time but 'this too shall pass'"

"Will it?" She looked up at me. "I don't know. It started as soon as I walked out the door. That was the first time I'd been outside since this whole…I wanted to run back inside and lock myself in this room, never going out again. I thought that I could force myself to go on, thinking that once I was at work, I would be fine but I couldn't do it. I wanted to be here, to the only place I feel safe. I'm such a coward, Adam." And she began to cry again and I took her in my arms; she was so small, so defenseless. I almost sighed in relief that she hadn't gone into town; Tallulah was safe here.

"You're a brave girl. You're my brave girl." I stroked her hair. "I should have driven you but I didn't want you to go. I wanted you to stay here because I was afraid."

"You were afraid?' She looked up at me and I pulled my handkerchief out of my back pocket and handed it to her.

"Tallulah, what happened to all those handkerchiefs I gave you? You never seem to have one on you."

She smiled slightly as she wiped her eyes and her nose. "They're too beautiful to use. Besides, they're from you so I keep them as special. Why were you afraid?"

I pushed hair back from her face. "I was afraid that something might happen to you, that Hong Fu might come for you or that you might go to The Crown and stay with Nancy and Murfee…something, anything…I'm the one who's such a goddamn coward that I couldn't even come up and talk to you."

"Oh, Adam. Do you know why I went to Chinatown and all that? To show you that I was a grown woman and knew my own mind. I thought that if I meant what I said and you saw that, well, you would realize that I was an adult and then you would believe me when I said I loved you. But all I did was show how foolish I was. I suppose I'm not the mature, intelligent woman I thought I was."

"Tallulah, I'm taking the chance of possibly making a fool of myself but…I do love you. I love you more than I can express in words but I'm old enough to be your father and you're so young and deserve so much better, so much better than me."

"There is no better than you so how could I want anything better?"

She meant it. Her eyes reflected the purity of her love—no conniving, no ulterior motive. She loved me and I knew it.

"You don't have to marry me, Adam, I understand, but please, don't send me away, don't push me away. I'll be yours no matter what. Actually, I'm already yours, you just haven't claimed me."

"It seems that I should kiss you but…well, it might hurt."

Tallulah smiled up at me. "Just be gentle."

So I kissed her. "Oh, my Tallulah," I whispered, "I love you, I do. Will you be mine? Legally?"

"That depends. Are you going to marry me or adopt me?"

She made me laugh and it seemed that I hadn't laughed in such a long time and Tallulah brought me ease. "Trust me, Tallulah, I don't feel the least bit paternal." I held her lovely face in my hands and kissed her gently again, and again. I had no idea how things would work out, if in ten years her love for me would die or if she would be with me to the end but it didn't matter. "Now" was all that mattered—and Tallulah. And I was determined to be happy. So I kissed her again knowing she would be my bliss.

~ Finis ~