A/N: Around the beginning of next month it will be the first year anniversary of Volume II and that also means I will have been doing this in general for five years now. That should tell you how dedicated I am to getting this done. Hopefully 25 chapters was enough for a full year LOL. We're getting pretty close to hitting a 100,000 word count too. Speaking of word count, I found out a little while ago that Volume I very nearly overtook the entire Lord Of The Rings trilogy in word count length. If you count Volume I and II together, it overtakes the trilogy easily. Stuff like that really blows my mind and that probably explains why Volume II hasn't been fairing as well as Volume I. Not a whole lot of people have actually made it this far LOL. Oh, and one last thing. For the big fight scene in this chapter use the song Titanium for maximum silliness overload.
Chapter 25: Machine Against Magic
The magic radiating out of Stump's paws grew all the brighter as he continued his seemingly suicidal charge at Computer's spider machine. The magic began to envelop him, growing brighter and brighter until he could not be seen anymore. It then dissipated and Stump returned to view, still running with a snarl on his face. He had not returned completely unchanged however. He was much taller now, to the point of where he was as big as one of the bears, and he was still growing with every moment that passed. His snarl turned into a grin of triumph, like someone who was assured that their victory was absolute. His titanic growth continued until he was finally as massive as Computer's machine.
"Ha! You're not the only one who's big around here!" He challenged. "I won't go down as easily as you think! I bet you thought you could just stomp on me, but you thought wrong!"
His voice had become unnaturally deep and every word he spoke boomed like a rumble of thunder. Courage wanted nothing more than to cover his ears but he was too busy trying to figure out a way to stop this fight from happening. Those two were going to tear each other apart and that was the last thing he wanted.
Computer hadn't slowed down at all. He was still on a crash course with the now giant Stump. His angry chittering continued to emanate from the machine unabated.
"Take this!" Stump howled, flinging some sort of electrical spell from his paw. It struck the spider machine head on and that surprisingly managed to stop it in its tracks.
Computer's angry squirrel voice fell silent.
"Yes!" Stump gleefully gloated, pumping a fist into the air.
Despite his supposed victory, the mechanical whirling of the rusted behemoth hadn't stopped. The thing was still clearly 'on', though it continued to just stand there as though it had been beaten. Computer's unintelligible voice suddenly cried out and before Courage could even ask the book what he was saying, the spider machine reared up on several of its legs like it were horse.
The high pitched sound of many rusted pieces of metal grinding against each other screeched through the air. This time Courage had to drop the book and grab his ears to try and block the sound out. He looked up only once to see the spider machine 'morphing' into something else. It's various parts were bending and breaking into new shapes. Whatever it was that Computer was trying to transform that thing into, he had no idea.
Finally, the screeching sound lessened to the point of where it was no longer unbearable. Courage released his ears to look up once more and could only gasp. In the place of that spider machine was now a humanoid robot running full speed at Stump. It looked almost exactly like one of those huge robot fighters Courage had seen in a cartoon once, had it not been made out of rusted scrap metal.
"A giant mechanical man made out of scrap?" The book asked in disbelief as Courage reached down to pick it up. "You have got to be kidding me."
Stump sneered, obviously not amused by Computer's new tactic. He fearlessly charged forward, ready to meet his rival head on. Both combatants gigantic feet shook the ground as they ran.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He screamed seconds before making contact with the now human-shaped robot.
The sound they made when they crashed into each other was like a bomb going off. They grappled with each other for several long moments, their hands interlocked as they tried to overpower the other. Stump kneed the robot in the stomach several times to no avail and when Computer finally managed to free one of his hands from the dog's grip, he punch him square in the nose. It was clear that without the help of magic, even at his current size, Stump was no match against pure metal.
The titanic dog stumbled backwards, rubbing his nose. Pure, vindictive rage blazed in his eyes as he glared at his hated rival. Before he could retaliate, however, Computer had already gone back onto the attack. He leaped forward and nearly landed right on top of Stump. He wrapped a rusted arm around the dog's neck and forced him to the ground in a headlock. From there he began punching him in the muzzle over and over again.
Now Courage felt that it was the right time for him to step in, since he wasn't nearly as likely to be stepped on at this point.
"Computer!" He called out, waving his arms up at the giant robot. "You don't have to hurt him! Look, I'm alive!"
Computer stopped punching Stump almost immediately and the robot's featureless head turned until it found Courage. He looked down at him for several moments...and then went right back to punching Stump.
Courage slapped a paw to his face. "Ugh, you know what? Fine! I'm not even going to try and stop them anymore! I'm just going to go sit over here and let them fight it out!"
"Aaaauuggh! How dare you make a fool out of me!" Stump snarled, finally calling upon his magic. His paws glowed white as he placed them around the robot's torso and picked it up with ease. He raised the flailing machine up over his head and then slammed it back down onto the ground, coming dangerously close to destroying the Bear's house as he did so.
Wincing, he took a step back. "Augh! I have to get him away from the house!" He yelped. "If he doesn't demolish it, I will!" Looking down at his paws, he continued with, "My magic is amplified in this state. I can't risk using any spells while I'm this close! It'll do too much damage!"
Computer had already begun to pick himself back up again and Stump took the opportunity to provoke him.
"Hey, trash can! Come get me if you think you can!" He taunted, turning tail and running away so that he could lure Computer away from the Bear's house.
Without a moment of hesitation, Computer took the bait. He bounded after Stump with the same level of zeal he'd been exerting for the entirety of their fight. Hateful chittering began to spill forth from the machine once more.
Upon losing sight of them, Courage grabbed the book and ran after the two giants. It wasn't hard to figure out where they had gone, all he needed to do was follow the huge swath of downed trees.
"Ahahaha, you idiot! Now I don't have to worry about using my magic!" Stump triumphantly laughed. "Here, have a taste of FIRE!"
From one of his paws spewed forth a massive torrent of flames. Much to his dismay however, it did not deter Computer at all. The giant robot simply began to walk forward slowly and calmly as the flames swirled all around it.
"W-what?" He gasped. "Hmph! I guess it's not hot enough to melt you down into a molten puddle like I had hoped. Well, I'll just have to use the opposite element instead!"
He raised his paws into the air and with it rose what looked like several lakes worth of swamp water. The giant globs floated through the air like they were nothing more than a few soap bubbles.
"Uh, oh." Courage groaned, fully aware of what was about to happen to him if he didn't act fast. Ignoring the book's protests, he put it into his mouth and bit down. He then began the exhausting task of climbing up the nearest tree and the moment he had managed to sit down on one of its branch, Stump flung the globs of water at Computer.
The robot hunkered down, and even though each and every ball of water hit its mark, the immense torrent still did not manage to incapacitate the machine. It simply stood back up and shrugged off whatever water was still dripping down it.
Courage breathed a sigh of relief as he watched the huge wave of swamp water roar through the trees down below. He had guessed right on what was going to happen. Though the flood didn't last long, he was glad to be far away from it. It would have swept him away easily.
"No!" Stump shrieked as Computer continued his slow march forward. "Why won't you die? Uh...WIND!"
He took in a deep breath of air and blew it out with as much force as he could muster. The magically amplified wind knocked down all the remaining trees around Computer, but the robot still wasn't phased in even the slightest.
"Ugh, no!" Stump yelped. Now he was beginning to look truly frightened. "No, no! I-I'll just have to try the same trick I used on you before!"
His paw glowed white once more and with a single flick of it, Computer's robot rose up off the ground. It hung there for a moment as he took the time to gloat.
"Ha! Hahahaha!" He giggled out in a rather unhinged fashion. "You aren't invincible after all! Some of my magic still works on you! It just happens to be one of the spells that I used to school you before! Have a nice flight, you Jenna stealing imposter!"
Like what had happened last time when he had stopped squirrel Computer from attacking him, the white glow of his magic turned red and Computer's machine was launched into the sky. However, as he cackled gleefully at the sight of his rival's apparent defeat, the robot twisted around in the air so that its head was facing back down towards the earth. Then, much to everyone's surprise, there was a loud crack and fire began to spurt out its feet like a spaceship taking off in the wrong direction.
"Rockets?" The book groaned. "He built rockets into that thing?
"H-huh?" Stump gasped.
Too dumbfounded to react, he didn't get a chance to stop the robot as it shot back down to earth at incredible speeds. One of its arms was outstretched with a fist ready to deliver one heck of a punch, and when it did finally reach its destination, it struck Stump square in the muzzle with a heavy, clanging, metallic thud.
The punch having been delivered, Computer cut the rockets and landed on the ground with an incredible boom. He then took several steps back to put some distance between him and his unwanted rival.
Stump wobbled there for a moment, his muzzle having been punched inward, and then he collapsed, causing an earthquake of titanic proportions.
"D-did he win?" Courage asked. "Is it really over?"
"Hmmm, I expected more from Stump." The book commented. "Or at the very least a few proper explosions. Some sorcerer he turned out to be."
As if in response to their words, there was a low groan and Stump slowly, slowly being to rise onto his feet once more.
Enraged chittering emanated from Computer's robot as it flung its arms up into the air in clear outrage. It then begin to pace back and fourth, its arms swinging in erratic patterns as Computer continued his one-sided, unintelligible rant.
"I'm not done with you yet..." Stump choked out in a low voice. "I won't let you have Jenna! You'll have to kill me first!"
In response, a compartment opened up near the wrist of Computer's mechanical left arm, and with his right hand he pulled out a huge samurai sword shaped sheet of rusted metal.
"A sword? He's even got a sword?" The book exclaimed. "I mean, it looks more like a few pieces of rusted metal welded together, but seriously, a sword?"
Stump's eyes narrowed. "Two can play at this game!" He jeered.
His right paw glowed purple as he stared Computer down, then the purple light began to take on the general shape of a sword as well.
"Let's end this, you overgrown garbage dump!" He yelled, pointing the magically crafted light-sword at Computer.
The giant machine's only response was to ready itself by grasping the scrap metal sword with both of its hands. The two combatants then stared each other down for nearly a minute before Stump made the first and final move.
Charging forward at full speed, he screamed out an incoherent battle cry of, "AAAAAAHHHHH!" while Computer began his own charge in turn.
Swords outstretched, they both passed each other by, seemingly having done no damage to each other. They both came to a stop, nearly back to back, and they remained that way for several long seconds. Then, Stump let out a low groan and slowly began to fall. Before he could could hit the ground, there was a sudden bright flash of light, one that nearly blinded Courage from up in his tree, and following that there was an incredible explosion of blue and purple. Given no chance to react, the shock wave that struck Courage sent him and the book flying off the branch. The book was flung farther upwards into the trees while Courage himself was sent tumbling back down to earth. In that seemingly unending moment, everything was colored white, blue, and purple. Even the sky itself seemed to shift between the colors.
….And then it was over.
Courage groaned and rolled over onto his back with a sicking squelch. Because of the magically caused flood, the ground had become a thick, disgusting, muddy mess that resembled the kind he and Computer had been forced to slog through in that one part of the swamp that had been completely submerged. He was certain that it was only reason why he hadn't broken every bone in his body upon hitting the ground.
Trying to rub the sparkling lights out of his eyes, he slowly sat up. The book was gone. He wasn't sure where it had been flung off to but he suspected that it was up in one of the trees. If it had landed somewhere else, he knew that he was never going to hear the end of it because that meant it had probably ended up in the mud as well.
He turned his still 'dazzled' eyes onto what had been the battlefield. It was now a charred, multi-colored, and oddly enough, 'sparkling' crater. In the middle of it stood an equally charred but still intact giant robot.
"Computer's alright!" He exclaimed with relief. Fumbling around in the mud a bit, he managed to find the potion, which he'd lost in the explosion. It was intact and the cork had not come out even after the fall, although it was now hopeless covered in mud.
As he quickly made his way over to the decimated battlefield, Computer's robot began to rumble and quake. Before he could reach the machine, it began to come apart bit by bit before the whole thing suddenly tumbled down into a massive inert pile of rusted scrap metal. Much to his surprise, he found upon reaching his destination that at the foot of the huge pile lay Stump, now back to his normal size. He was laying on his stomach, groaning weakly. His eyes were spinning around and around in their sockets and he made no effort to focus them on anything.
From atop the pile of scrap slid down squirrel Computer. He immediately jumped on top Stump's head and raised his head to the heavens to let out a high pitched scream of victory. When he was done, Courage tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to him, teeth grit and breathing heavily. Everything about him looked disheveled and he appeared to be more than a little eager to start another fight.
Courage presented the bottle to him. "Here, drink this."
The squirrel eyed the bottle suspiciously before swiping it out of his paws. He only needed to take two gulps of the stuff and there was a loud 'pop!' as the proper Computer replaced the squirrel sitting atop Stump.
"A-are you okay?" Courage asked, offering a paw to his friend.
Computer gave a nonchalant shrug. "It's been a weird afternoon."
"UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY!" Screamed the book from somewhere up in the trees.
"Seriously, are you really okay after all that?" Courage asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You know what? At this point I've learned to just roll with all the insanity that happens to us."
Courage stared. "Completely losing it and creating a giant robot just to take down one dog was rolling with it?"
The glowing dog closed his eyes and shrugged again. "Eh, what can I say? It's like you always tell me, I have anger issues."
Courage slapped his forehead and turned away. Shaking his head, he sighed out, "I'll go get the book."
It was not exactly a difficult task to find the book either. He was able to track it down by following the steady string of complaints it was muttering out rather loudly to itself. Though the climb up the tree was anything but fun, he soon reached the book.
"Oh? You finally decided to come get me?" It huffed. "Bah, look at me! I'm as dirty as pig and it's all your fault!"
Courage made an effort to ignore its complaining as he reached over, grabbed it, and placed it into his mouth like last time. He was so exhausted by the time he reached the ground that he had to sit there for a few moments and endure the book's whining as he tried to catch his breath. The very likely possibility that an attack was about to flare up worried him, but he had no choice but to press on and get back to Computer.
As he slowly hobbled back down into the crater, on the other side of it, Jenna suddenly burst through the trees. Her eyes immediately fixated onto Computer and her face lit up.
"There ya are, darli'n!" She exclaimed, sounding surprisingly out of breath.
She raced over to Computer, who let out a sound that could only be described as mixture of pure annoyance, disbelief, and agony. He honestly looked like he were about ready to cry.
Jenna, of course, scooped him up and pressed him into a near crushing hug. "I thought I'd lost ya forever! Everybody said that dern squirrel got the better of ya! I'm just so glad that my dear, little husband is okay!"
Courage had finally managed to reach them, although at this point he just wanted to collapse on the spot and take a nice long nap. The book, who was now tucked under his arm, hadn't stopped complaining once since it had been rescued from the tree.
"I have never, never been treated so disrespectful in all my life!" It huffed. "Not once in over two millennia have I been handled so carel-"
Jenna stopped crushing Computer to look down at the ranting book. She started at it for a moment and her mouth slowly fell open.
"Never have I been carted around by such a thoughtless owner! It is disgraceful! A mockery of all that I stand fo-" It stopped. "What are you looking at?" It asked Jenna.
The dumbfounded bear dropped Computer onto the ground and then swiped the book out of Courage's arms without a single word.
"W-what are you doing?" It stammered.
Jenna brought the book to eye level, began to smile, and then fluttered her eyes seductively at it. "Helllloooo."
"Wha...wait!" The book exclaimed. "Uh, d-doggy boy? A little help would be nice!"
Jenna immediately turned to Computer and pointed a claw down at him. "I want a divorce!"
Computer simply stared, looking just about as dumbfounded as she had several moments ago.
"Uh...okay?"
"Jeennnnaaa..." Stump groaned, trying to pull himself up, but he was still far too incapacitated to do anything to stop her or her new infatuation.
"C'mon darli'n, let's go get married!" The bear giggled, hugging the book close to her chest.
"Assistance, please!" It begged. "I'm a book, not some bear's knight in shining armor! Do something!"
It was too late though. Jenna whipped around, still gigging, and bounced her way out of the crater and back towards the house. The book's desperate pleas could be heard for a startlingly long time until even that faded out.
"O-kay, I'm done." Computer chimed in, looking all the more confused. "Since apparently that all just got sorted out."
Courage smiled. "I guess you're not married anymore, huh?"
"I'm just glad that I don't have to worry about her anymore. I almost want to say that I feel bad for the book, but I don't. Serves it right for not telling me about my past!" He then scratched his head. "This...isn't how romance actually works, right? Because if I had actually cared, this probably would have been a tad devastating."
Courage shook his head. "You have no idea." Changing the topic, he continued with, "So, uh, how are we going to get out of here? Papa Grizzly's truck is busted and I'm pretty sure he's still going to be mad at you even after Jenna's changed her mind. There's no way he'd help us now."
Computer's eyes lit up, well, more so than they already did naturally. Grinning, he replied with, "We'll take the giant robot out of here, of course!"
He seemed more than a little eager to use it again. Turning to the pile of scrap metal, he raised both his paws and waited. The mountain of twisted wreck shuddered a bit and a few small pieces of metal tumbled to the ground, but then returned to being as much of an inert pile of scrap as ever.
Dismayed, Computer rubbed the back of his head. "Yeeeah...I have absolutely no idea how I did that."
"You could build a giant robot as a squirrel but you can't do it now?"
"Hey, if you want to put together a huge piece of exceedingly complex machinery then be my guest." He quipped back in reply.
"Well, what are we going to do then?"
He placed a paw to his chin. "Why don't you head back to the house and grab our things? I'll figure something out in the meantime. There's got to be something I can make out of all this junk."
End Of Chapter
A/N: Are you reading a fanfic about a talking computer who's possessing the body of a dog who nearly got forced into a marriage with a grizzly bear and then piloted a mecha made out of nothing but scrap metal all because of a rivalry over said grizzly bear that he doesn't even like? Yes, yes you are. And that isn't even the end of all the craziness that's still going to happen!