Author: BlackPanther101, I love your enthusiasm-how you would just love to see an innocent person suffer. Come to think of it, you would make a great prosecutor here in Illinois.

If any9ne is triggered 6y that statement, t99 6ad.

Well said, Kankri.


"Hurry up and hide the fucking phone," Dave whisper-yells as the cop walks toward them from the car. They were strictly ordered to "Leave all electronic devices, human and otherwise in the automatic mobile device. I worded that the way a troll would." Yes, the cop, like the almost-rest of the race, detests trolls. And now there are two in his presence. He needed to come up with some bullshit excuse to get them locked away, and he knows just what. "I think there may be drugs involved," he said into his radio, and then began walking toward the kids … and two trolls. Somehow, he doesn't notice Kanaya struggling to slip her iGrub back into her panties … do trolls even wear panties? Or just boxers like Terezi? The world may never know.

"So, you thought you could smuggle this," the cop asks, holding up a bag of green powder.

"It would be nice if we knew what that is before we give an answer, but no, we weren't smuggling anything." Rose scolds the cop for faking such a crime.

"First of all, it's called soporcaine, and secondly, if you weren't smuggling it, why was it in you minivan?"

"Because you just pulled it out of your pocket and claimed it was." Rose speaks calmly, almost not caring what happens. "The question that must be asked is that if that is such an illegal substance, why do you have it on your person?"

"I confiscated it from your minivan."

"I just watched you pull it out of your pocket, and we have evidence that we were never in any sort of possession of it. Your move." She smirks, knowing the cop can't win.

"Girl, who do you think they're all going to believe more, an officer of the law or a few punks who were caught harboring two trolls and a severely beaten teenager?"

"The people whose fingerprints show up nowhere on that little bag."

"Ha. You're funny. Too bad you'll be going to jail." With that being said the cop walks back over to the minivan to wait for backup.

.

- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling [ ] at ?:? -

GA: Get Us Out Of Here

.


.

"Casey, have you ever been waterboarded before?" The girl lets out a small, terrified squeak at the way Jane says 'waterboarded' and holds up a small washcloth. She doesn't exactly know what waterboarding is, but based on the look on the elder's face, it isn't very good for one of the two parties.

.


.

Back over in the general area of the kids' and trolls' … scratch that … most of the trolls' residences, a car pulls itself into the driveway of the Captor/English/Harley household. Completely irritated that he can no longer continue on with the conversation with his own reflection, a young wizard steps out and walks over to the front door and gives it a little knock. He then realizes he forgot to lock his car, and not trusting this particular area, with the house being completely isolated, he snaps his fingers and the car doors lock as the door opens to reveal a heterochromia-eyed troll who doesn't look too enthused at having company. Realizing that he's staring at the weird creature, the wizard speaks up. "I'm here to speak with a … uh, I think his name is Jake English?" The troll gladly lets him in and leaves. Obviously whatever is wrong with Jake is horrible, otherwise the troll may have stayed. Perhaps. Well, the young wizard is about to find out.

He uses psychic enyrjjies to locate the mentally impaired boy in his pre-scratch self's bedroom, digging around, looking for a gun to off himself with.

"If, I am allowed to speak, I must say that the safe is not in here." The sudden voice causes Jake to jump and turn to face the intruder. After a moment of awkward silence, the intruder speaks again. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer, speaker of the language of the Horrorterrors and possessor of the Thorns of Oglogoth. Name courtesy of Rose Lalonde. And you are Jake English. Correct?" The suddenly suicidal boy just nods.

"Good. I will have you informed that I have been sent by Rose herself to calm you down. May I ask what is wrong?" Jake doesn't give an answer. Instead he just runs out of the room and up the stairs. "Did I say you could leave," Viceroy asks, to himself, and waves his hand toward the sofa in the living room. "Sit," he demands as Jake flies ass-first down the steps and onto the sofa. All that could've been seen as he flew by would have been a multi colored streak. Unfortunately, however, Viceroy has yet to master that simple command, as instead of landing on the sofa, Jake crashes into it and tumbles backward with it. Viceroy turns around to scold himself as Jake attempts to pick himself up off the floor. After a few seconds, the wizard walks out and helps him properly onto the sofa and sits down with him.

"Listen to me," Viceroy says comfortingly, or at least as comfortingly as he can manage, "It will all be okay. Your bf just has some trust issues, and when he get's back, he's probably going to be madder than one of your human demons in heaven and is probably going to isolate himself from you. But don't worry, because I will talk to him as well." Jake does nothing. "Now, the reason he's acting this way is because you haven't been able to reply to any of his messages. If you want, I will lend you my phone so you can pester him and explain, though I don't really believe it will work at the moment with him being unconscious. But you can still do it and wait for him to see it, or you could do what he's doing and pester him with hundreds of messages, then damn him when he get's back for not replying. Does that sound like a good idea to you?" The suggestion causes a smile to force its way onto Jake's face. The thought is just so idiotic that it might just work.

"Okay," he says quietly, and Viceroy hands him his phone, unbroken from absolutely no impacts with kitchen floors and whatnot. He signs into his pesterchum account and messages Dirk, knowing damn well that he's unconscious. But he won't tell him that.

.

- golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at ?:? -

GT: Strider.

GT: Strider please answer.

GT: Strider!

GT: Dirk pick up the damn phone and answer me!

GT: You know this is doing nothing to help our relationship.

GT: Im still waiting.

GT: …

GT: Damn you Strider! I try my best to make this all work out and this is what you do? You are acting like you dont even care anymore.

GT: Fine be that way! See if i give a rats patootie!

GT: Dont even bother answering now!

- golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at ?:? -

After he gets done messaging Dirk, he scrolls up the pesterlog and reads through all the messages that were sent to him. It reminds him about what he did in Sburb, except this time, most of the messages are insulting him for not answering instead of begging for an answer. Viceroy takes his phone back and tells Jake that he's going to delete all of Dirk's messages to him and space out the timing on his own messages to Dirk to make it look like he was messaging Dirk, not the other way around. This makes Jake feel slightly better, and confident that Dirk won't be as mad now. Perhaps, with a little bit of dumb luck, this plan will work.