The laundry is now done! So basically the evil bosses didn't send the guy to make the machines free until 8am this morning - however, I got up early, and managed to do three washes at once XD and all my clothes are now clean. Thanks for the good luck messages ;-) I'm sure they helped.

Disclaimer: I wrote some of this in the laundry room, inhaling the washing powder fumes...

Rick sat down on one of the 'parent' chairs at the side of the room, and watched as the children gradually assembled on the carpet. A motherly looking woman – the headteacher who had been giving him the eye earlier – tried to call them to order, but even though they were all aged under five, this was not an easy task. Johnny stayed out of the way of most of the screaming children, preferring to sit by himself. He didn't seem sad, though. He was watching the others with mild interest, as though they were animals in a zoo exhibit.

Rick laughed. Budding psychopath? But it was something he had done as a child, too. Okay, maybe he should be a little worried.

The teacher, whose name he had discovered was Miss Smith, finally called the children to order, and began listing the activities of the day. Johnny yawned. Rick sympathised. The other parents in attendance were worn down looking mothers, some with babies on their laps, some closing their eyes to try and get a few moments rest before they had to be responsible again.

The other teachers set out the activities they were in charge of, and asked for parent volunteers. Rick looked at the mothers. None of them seemed keen, although one made her way resignedly to the art table, clearly seeing this as the lesser of many evils. Johnny caught Rick's eye, and looked at the group gathering for reading. Rick looked at the teacher. She was almost as bad as the mothers. Deciding that if he could face gangs in Ethiopia, he shouldn't be scared of a bunch of four year olds, he went over, smiling his best smile, and offered to help. She looked fascinated, and completely relieved.

She soon gave in and let Rick read, contented to sit in her seat and doze. Rick smiled. This wasn't so bad. He took the book she gave him, and began to read aloud. It was some kids thing about a magician who kept saying the wrong words – and it was dead boring. He looked around, making sure none of the teachers were listening, and began to elaborate on what was written. He was a fantastic storyteller, and soon he had transported the children into a world of magic and sorcerers; pirates and kings; highwaymen and monsters. Johnny was enthralled, and soon other children began to join the group. Rick felt like the pied piper – he had a feeling that as long as he kept talking, these children wouldn't leave his side.

He was actually having a fairly good time, and when the hour-long session was up, he congratulated himself on doing so well, when Kate had clearly intended today to be a punishment. Miss Smith rang a little bell, and the children all had to do something else. Johnny wanted to play with the train set, even if the train was electric, but she wouldn't let him. She said he had to do something with the other children. Johnny sighed, and Rick, watching from a distance, knew exactly how he felt. Johnny was put in a group of children doing 'team building and active learning' – it looked as though they were going outside to play football. Johnny did not like the idea of this – he didn't make a fuss, but as Rick sat down to read to another group of clamouring children (who were far louder than the first) he realised today wasn't going to be as easy as he'd imagined, mainly because all he wanted to do was rescue his son from anything he didn't like.

Johnny wandered outside, watching the other children warily. They were a mixture of boys and girls, most of them bigger than him. Some of them were starting school this September – he still had another year to go, even though he felt older than they were. He could read, and already write his name – some of them didn't even talk properly. He was put in a team with some other boys, and they began to play. No one was very good, and Johnny tried to keep as far from the ball as possible. It wasn't that he didn't want to join in, exactly – he just didn't like the idea of the scuffle that was around the ball. And although he loved kicking a ball around with his Mom at the park, this really wasn't the same. You had to get the ball into the other team's goal.

The teacher called to him to join in. It was a friendly call, but it was still an order. He hunched his shoulders, and looked for the ball. It wasn't too far away, and he knew which way to kick it. He ran to it, and looked for a gap in children to kick it through. In the second it took him to decide that trying to score a goal was pointless, a swarm of children trampled over him, and the ball disappeared. Most of them had been on his team. He lay there on the cold, hard ground, wandering what story Rick was telling inside, and what his Mom was doing at work. He liked the precinct – there were lots of interesting things to look at, and people to talk to. He especially liked the one way mirror – he could stand on one side and watch his Mom interrogate someone, and they wouldn't know he was there.

The teacher had rushed over as soon as she noticed he had fallen, and she began fussing over him. She probably knew it was her fault. She stood him on his feet. Johnny rubbed his knee. His head felt funny, and something was trickling down the side of it. The teacher was speaking, but she sounded far away. He tried to concentrate.

"Johnny? Your Dad's here, isn't he?"

Johnny nodded. "Rick. Rick's here."

"Maybe he should take you home..."

Johnny didn't cry. He wanted to, but he wanted to be brave like his Mom. He let the teacher walk him inside, and she wiped his head with something, and put a band aid on it. Johnny shivered. Rick hurried over, and asked him if he was okay. Johnny nodded, and Rick held his hand and took him outside. They were going to get a taxi.

Johnny waited until they had left the nursery before he spoke.

"I want... I mean, can we please go and see Mommy?"

Rick looked at the little boy. He was shaking, and dead white. He picked him up instinctively, and held him tight. He was so angry with himself – his first time with Johnny when Kate wasn't there, and he had messed up. He knew it wasn't his fault – it would have happened anyway, even if he hadn't been there – but he still felt to blame. He should have prevented it somehow, he should have protected his son.

He waved a taxi, and settled Johnny on his lap. He was surprised the boy wasn't crying – Alexis would definitely have cried at that age. He guessed it was a Kate thing – Kate never broke down in front of anyone, and Johnny didn't want to either. By the time they got to the precinct, it was past lunch time. Rick asked Johnny if he wanted to eat or drink anything, but Johnny just shook his head. He was concentrating very hard on waiting for his Mom – Rick was saddened by the thought, but he suspected it wouldn't have mattered who was holding him. He knew things with Johnny would take time, but he very much wanted to be a father, and things had been going so well. He was worried that Johnny would feel betrayed, too, because Rick had been there, but hadn't intervened when they made him play football.

Rick carried Johnny into the elevator, and up to Kate's level. She was sitting at her desk with her back to him when he walked in. As soon as he saw her, Johnny bit his lip, and had to try even harder not to cry. Kate turned, noticed them, and knocked her chair over in her hurry to reach her son. She took him from Rick, and cradled him in her arms, inspecting his head, speaking to him gently. She took him to the break room, and sat him on her lap. He just hugged her tightly, still not crying.

"What happened, sweetie?" she said gently, hiding the panic from her voice.

"I was playing football.. got knocked over," he said quietly.

"You were playing football?" she asked, not believing he would ever choose to do that.

"Had to..." he replied quietly.

She decided now wasn't the best time to quiz him about the exact circumstances.

"What hurts?" she asked him.

"My knee, and my head."

She hated how quiet his voice was. She looked at his knee. It was grazed, but okay. She kissed it, and then she looked at his head. It was bruised, and they had slapped a plaster over a little cut. Whoever had done it had managed to stick it in the wrong place, so it would be torture to take off. Kate would have to soak it with warm water, and it would not be pleasant. She liked Johnny's nursery – it was a friendly place, and Johnny didn't mind it too much – but they did let some idiots work there. She kissed his head too, and then his nose. He smiled weakly, but at least it was a smile.

"Do you want to go home with Rick?" she asked.

"No," he said firmly. "I want to stay with you," he added more gently. She sighed. She didn't blame him for being a bit wary. She hugged him again.

"Do you want me to take you home?" she asked, already planning her explanation to Gates. She could take something called carer's leave, if Gates agreed. But Johnny shook his head.

"If it would be okay, I could stay here... I'd be very good."

Kate wondered if she gave in to him too easily – but he was usually so undemanding that she decided she didn't. Today was a special case, anyway. She nodded, and he grinned. She hoisted him onto her hip, and carried him through to the bull pen. She wouldn't have to argue with Gates – the first time she had asked if Johnny could stay, she had been told very firmly that this was a precinct, not a creche- and then Gates had met Johnny, and her heart had melted. The two got on like a house on fire. Kate had been astonished, but very happy. Johnny had even helped her relationship with Gates.

She put Johnny in the chair by her desk, and handed him one of her elephant statuettes. Then she went to talk to Rick. She realised he must be feeling pretty awful – and she would let him off the hook.

As soon as he saw her approach, he backed away from Ryan and Esposito, still looking stunned.

"They told me about..." he said, his head still reeling. He forced himself to the matter at hand. "Listen, Beckett, I am so so sorry. I didn't-"

"Not your fault. Kids get hurt like that all the time. He's going to be fine."

Rick looked utterly relieved for a few moments, until he went back to thinking about Montgomery. He had found out some other things, too. He stared at Kate, but she held up her hand.

"Later," she said gently, and he nodded. He said goodbye to the boys, and left. Kate went back to Johnny, who had been watching their exchange.

"Why was Rick sad?" he asked.

Kate bit her lip. "Do you remember Roy?" Johnny shook his head.

"You knew him when you were very little – he died when you were two and a half."

"Oh," Johnny said, thinking hard. "Maybe I remember. Did he have a hat?"

Kate smiled, remembering Johnny's laughter as Roy had put the hat on his head.

"Yes, that's him. Well, Rick knew Roy, too, but Rick didn't know that anything had happened to him."

Johnny seemed to understand. "When Roy died, you were sick, weren't you?"

Kate shuddered at the memory, of the funeral, and of the bullet – but the thought of her son had pulled her through.

"Yes, I was. You came to see me in the hospital," she said. Johnny nodded.

"You had lots of flowers, and I sat on your bed and we read comic books."

"That's right. And you stayed with Grams."

Johnny nodded. For him, the memory was already fading. Kate was glad. It would become more distant for him every day. For her, it would always feel like yesterday – but she could cope with that. She kept it in its box, and her days had been so full of happiness with Johnny that she had hardly had time to feel much pain. She had been to counselling, and it had helped – but the main thing had had made her soften was the little boy sitting beside her desk. She winked at him, and opened a file that she had to read. Johnny winked back, and the elephant walked across her desk to begin nibbling at her fingers.

Thanks for reading, you're awesome, please review! Loads of love and hugs, Z xxx