Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. That magical world of wonder and excitement all belongs to the amazing and wonderful J.K Rowling. She is a gift and goddess to the literary world. Also I do not own Twilight.

Warnings: AU. Bad Language, I will run from canon and probably occasionally look back to make sure it's not behind me waiting to bite my ass. Kiddy vamp!Harry, Awesome Volturi. Not so awesome Edward and Bella

Carry On My Prongward Son

There was no peace for Carlisle as he let out another deep human sigh as the couple across from him stared accusingly at him. The clinic had been overrun with upset parents demanding their sons be tested. All available doctor and nurses were called to service, and as Carlisle sat down with his third couple, he could see a repeat of his first two meetings. The parents were blaming him for their son's predicament.

"We want a new Doctor," Mrs. Newton said. "We don't like or trust you anymore."

"I understand that you are going through a difficult situation at the moment, but-"

"No! We want a new Doctor."

"I will go see who is available," he told the couple. He wanted to help, he really did, but no one wanted him to treat their son when it was his son's girlfriend that apparently got them all into this mess. It's not like he wanted teenaged boys dropping their pants so he could stare at their privates, but he wanted to be trusted and treated like a Doctor and that no longer seemed possible. He couldn't help people when everyone was requesting other doctors to look after them. Maybe it was time to pack his family up and move on.

Standing, he exited the door to see Nurse Jane standing nearby. "Another one then doctor?" she asked.

"Yes, this couple would prefer a new doctor as well," He answered.

"Doctor Chang is almost finished with the family he is with now. I'll send him this way," she assured the doctor.

"Maybe I should just go home. I don't seem to be of any help at the moment." Jane looked sad for him. It was a bit embarrassing that the nurses had to keep covering for him because he couldn't do his job properly. "Nurse, please apologize to the other doctors for me, I will be going now."

"Of course Doctor Cullen, I think they will understand considering the situation," she responded. He handed the chart off to Jane and gave her a nod in thanks.

When Carlisle got home, he called for everyone to gather in the dining room to talk. Esme flitters around looking upset over something, Alice had a grin on her face, Jasper looked to be thinking deeply over something, and Edward… was busy with Bella. "Where are Rosalie and Emmett?" He asked.

Esme started to wring her hands but she answered right away. "They left to spend a few days at the cottage. Rosalie got into a fight with Alice and Emmett thought they needed some time away," she explained.

"What was this fight about?" Carlisle asked.

"Alice had a vision of the Volturi leaving in three days. Rosalie voiced her concerns and Alice told her she should leave the family," Jasper spoke up before anyone else could. "They are still torn over changing Bella."

Carlisle sat down as he absorbed the explanation. "Right… we'll talk about that later. Right now we have two important things to discuss, first being the Volturi leaving, and the second… why did I hear that you, Bella, are pregnant?"

"Pregnant?" Edward yelped. "Bella's not pregnant!"

"From what I overheard in the waiting room… every parent with a teenaged boy in Forks believes Bella is going to make them grandparents," Carlisle told them.

Edward was on his feet in a second growling at the news. "Those dirty lying little bastards. How dare they claim such things about my Bella!"

A twinkling giggle filled the room. The family turned as one as Harry floated down outside their window. Edward dug his nails into the wood of the table as he spotted the little guard. None of them had even known they were being spied on, they couldn't see, hear, or smell the little vampire.

"They didn't say they slept with Bella, Bella did," The little guy said. He pulled out a recorder and pressed play, allowing the whole family to listen as Bella's.

'Look, this is Bella Swan. We need to talk. No, we don't need to talk. I'm pregnant and you're the father. I'm not keeping it. I don't want to carry your child. What we did was fun, but it was only for fun. I'll tell you how much you owe me for the abortion later.'

*Click*

Edward flung himself at the window, he was almost completely feral after hearing the recording. Carlisle grabbed his son before he could break the glass, while Jasper was on his feet, ready to help restrain Edward if needed.

"Let me go!" Edward yelled. "They destroyed Bella's reputation!"

The giggling stopped as Harry looked Edward dead in the eye. "You set werewolves onto my kin!" He hissed.

"What?" Jasper asked. "Did the Quileute tribe attack?"

"No, but Edward did send up a flare telling every creature who hates the Volturi where we are. They came into Forks to attack us. Demetri and Felix had to chase them away."

"Edward you didn't," Esme whispered.

"What? What's wrong with that? We wanted them gone and now they have to leave. So what if they die in the process, they deserve it!" Edward hissed.

"You also doomed us! What do you think those monsters are going to do when they kill the Volturi? Do you think they are just going to pack up and leave? They will see us, see that we're vampires and try to kill us. Why wouldn't they? You put us in danger too," Jasper yelled. It was rare for the family to ever see him get upset to the point he raised his voice.

"Why would they? We're not Part of the Volturi!" Edward yelled back.

"But we're vampires! Do you think there's some giant billboard out there with all the Volturi members faces on it, telling the world who is in the guard and who isn't? They don't know that we're not part of the Volturi. They will see that we're vampires and attack us."

"You should hit him. It will make for a great shot," Harry called out. Looking over, Carlisle felt like pulling out his hair at the sight of the vampire, floating outside the window filming the whole fight. "Bella could you try to give the camera a little love? A little expression? You make for a very boring shot like that."

It felt like his arms were going to be ripped out when Edward tried to lunge for the child again, but Carlisle kept a firm grip on his son. "Harry, why are you here?"

Harry pouted. "I needed somewhere safe to stay. Demetri and Felix caught another enemy scent. They left to take care of it, so while they are dealing with this new threat –brought on because of your son- I was set the task to watch you lot. Oh, and Esme, your nose is a little shiny. You might want to touch up."

"Will you stop filming!" Edward yelled.

"Passion, love the passion, Edward. Maybe you could share some with your supposed mate?" Harry encouraged.

"Bella has expressions!"

"Well that's a wrap. It's going to need some editing, a little movie magic, and a title song by some mediocre alternative rock pop band and it's good to go," Harry announced. "Might win some crappy teen awards… Edward has the whole angst thing down that drives tweens crazy… and Jaspers a good looking bloke… lots of fans to reel in." Despite what he said, Carlisle was sure that the boy was still filming them.

"I never understand what goes through your head!" Edward screamed.

"Demetri, Felix… Alex… right now I have an Oscar on my mind."

"That's it, we're leaving," Carlisle announced. He had enough of this. He left the Volturi because he didn't like feeding from humans and how they treated the human people they did interact with. This right here, they were doing exactly the type of thing that turned Carlisle away.

They thought they were entitled to everything and that what they say, goes. The Volturi could make your life hell or wipe you out, it was just the way they were. Currently, they settled on ruining the life Carlisle and his family built but soon the entertainment they derived from this would wane and then it would be time for Plan B. It was better to do what they said now than fight them later. "This family is falling apart. Rosalie and Emmett are already gone, I can no longer do my job at the hospital, and every day I come home there is another issue to deal with. We're done, Harry. The Volturi won. Edward, you're going to change Bella and we're going to lay low in Alaska."

"Yes!" Alice cheered. The girl was so happy and was bouncing around the room.

"Are you sure Carlisle? Rosalie and Emmett haven't agreed to this and I'm not on board with Bella becoming one of us either," Jasper spoke up. "You promised us that you wouldn't allow Bella to change until everyone in the family agreed."

"Jasper, I think this is one time that we can do something-"

"No!" Jasper stopped him. "You promised us. You promised your family, including a child that you turned personally, and you're going to break that promise for one human?"

"Jasper," Carlisle started. "We are in a desperate situation here."

"Kill her. Kill Bella Swan and be done with it," Jasper said. "I'm going to go stay with Rosalie and Emmett." Carlisle couldn't respond since after announcing that he left the room. Didn't Jasper understand that he couldn't kill Bella- a human. He spent so long working hard to save human lives and to protect them from other vampires and now one of his children expected him to take a life.

What the hell happened to his family? It seemed he was asking himself that a lot.

o.O.o

Aro chuckled as he watched the live feed Harry was sending him. It seemed his little minions were doing a better job than he expected. He didn't think they would actually manage to tear the family apart. The Cullens always seemed to be such a strong unit but it wasn't true. They were falling away like pieces and all over one little pathetic human girl.

"Harry darling, close up on Miss Swan's face please," he asked.

The camera zoomed in and the screen was filled with Bella's profile. The girl really didn't understand what she started when she decided to interact with the Cullen clan.

"Will they be home soon?" Alex asked.

"Yes, the wizards almost got them in Seattle, this announcement of Edward's is sure to reach them soon. I want you and Jane on that plane to bring them back."

"Yes, Aro," Jane responded.

"We should prepare room for three new recruits," Aro decided as he contemplated the situation. "And that car we ordered. Let's put it somewhere that it's sure to be seen. Also, who do we have in England? I want an update."

"Yes, Aro," Alex said before he turned to leave.

"And Harry dear… you're school acceptance will be in the mall tomorrow. Be sure that Charlie sees it. We all want a nice clean break."

Bad Joke of The Day

Q: What is Transylvania?

A: Dracula's terror-tory

Also a bonus since I reused a joke last chapter.

From Kai19- What's a vampires favourite drink? A Bloody Mary.

From mabidiso –What is the only disagreement vampire will have? A blood feud.