A/N: Hi guys, sorry on the delay on uploading but I have been busy with life and a few other stories have been distracting me. I will upload two new one shots tonight after I give them a final look over for typos. One is Futa and the other is AU and I hope for your continued support and feedback on how my writing can be improved and if what I am doing is enjoyable. I write for fun and post in the hopes of making at least one other person's day just a little brighter. Much love to all who read my work!

Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN or any of its characters. I make no profit from my writing.

~"~"~"~"~

Chapter 25: Decisions

It was to the sound of giggling that Fate and Nanoha awoke, opening a blurry eye Fate squinted at the bedside clock and saw it was now lunch time. Looking down on the smaller figure snuggled into her Fate noted the fierceness of the hold she was being held in. Raising an eyebrow Fate seemed to ask, 'Are you going to let go so I can make lunch?'

Touching Fate's face Nanoha traced her eyes which still carried the strain of her earlier break down as she asked, "Fate-chan, talk to me. Tell me what you need to feel better about the situation. What can I do?"

Burgundy eyes took in the loving concern in her lover's eyes and she as always was surprised it was there for her. Brows furrowing Fate looked down and began to chew on her lip as she tried to organize her mind.

Finally she said, "There isn't much you can do Nanoha, I am being an idiot. I can't help the way I am feeling because I have this deep seated fear that I am destined to lose everything precious to me. Mother pounded that into my head, if I survived I would always be alone because something like me doesn't deserve to be happy."

Pressing her fingers to Fate's lips Nanoha said, "You are not a thing Fate-chan. You are my most precious person. You are the woman I love. You deserve to be happy, you make me so happy just by being by my side."

Replacing her fingers with her lips before pulling back Nanoha said lovingly, "I am just as scared of losing you as you are of losing me love. For the first time in my life I am truly happy. I have everything I have ever dreamed of having and the thought of losing you makes it hard to breathe. You are so special Fate-chan, I wished for someone like you but never thought you could exist."

Cupping Nanoha's face Fate asked earnestly, "Why in the world would you want someone like me?"

Pushing Fate over onto her back Nanoha began to undo her wife's shirt exposing pale flesh and the pinkish scars that laced her body. Tracing her hand along the long surgical scar on Fate's abdomen she then tried to explain, "I have always wanted someone who could love me like I am someone special."

Squeezing Nanoha's hips Fate interrupted, "You are special. A person would have to be blind to not see that."

Smiling but shushing her wife Nanoha went on, "My dream lover would be someone beautiful inside and out. A person whose beauty would capture my attention from the first moment we met. This person would be considerate and make an effort to make me comfortable. They would willingly incorporate me into their life and never be ashamed of being seen with me. They would share my interests and someone I could have meaningful conversations with. Someone I could turn to when I was in trouble or scared and I could trust them to protect and sooth me. A person who could make me not only feel beautiful but believe I am someone worth loving. Fate-chan you can have no idea how fully you fulfill my secret hopes and desires."

Taking one of Fate's hands she placed it on her tummy and continued speaking, "Before our wedding I was freaking out over you finally coming to the realization that I am not worth your time or attention…"

Nanoha had to pause in her speaking when Fate's hand on her hip tightened and the look in her burgundy eyes became disapproving. Squeezing the hand pressed to her stomach Nanoha tried to sooth her wife.

"I know you will never tire of me love. I can't understand how you can be so addicted to me but I won't complain about it. Now you are freaking out over me dying and like you said, there is nothing either of can do to prevent death from coming for us eventually. What I can promise is I won't take any unnecessary risks. Remember love I want to grow old with you and see our girls grow up and find their own partners and be there for their weddings. I want you by my side as I hold our grandchildren and spoil them rotten. No one but you will do. You are my everything," Nanoha said this with a distant look in her eyes as if she was picturing this elusive future.

Then pinning Fate with a serious stare Nanoha demanded, "That's why I want you to promise me you will do the same. I want you to promise me you won't do anything to put yourself at risk. You can not die on me Fate-chan. I refuse to be a widow again. Losing Yuuno didn't hurt me because he destroyed what little love I had for him from our childhood with his treatment of Vivio and I over the years."

Then the look in Nanoha's eyes became desperate and scared as her voice became more urgent, "Your treatment of us is the polar opposite, you love us and cherish us. You can have no idea how devastating it would be to both of us to lose you. Please Fate-chan promise me you'll be more careful. I need you."

The feeling of Nanoha's hands gripping her so desperately as if she could somehow prevent disaster by holding on tightly shook Fate out of her grey funk. The idea of Nanoha being afraid of losing her and demanding her promise to stay safe had surprised her. Then she remembered, 'Nanoha loves me just as much as I love her. She has suffered loneliness and neglect. She has been betrayed and abandoned, the same scars I carry on my heart mark hers.'

Then the further realization hit her, the paralyzing fear that was gripping her was likely taking hold in Nanoha. This was not what she wanted for her wife. She wanted them both to support each other and share their lives like any other normal couple. Nanoha picking up her obsessive behavior was a sign that Fate needed to take action to save them from falling into destructive behavior. For years she couldn't even let Alicia out of her sight without falling into a panic attack. She had no wish to return to that state with Nanoha or worst have Nanoha suffer from such a state.

Her wife deserved to live a fulfilling life and their children shouldn't be exposed to obsessive behavior. What would that do to their developing minds to see them clinging to each other and freaking out at the least provocation? It looked like it was time for her to return to counseling and for Nanoha to join her. They both needed help negotiating these murky waters before someone was hurt.

Worried about the healthiness of their relationship Fate asked, "Nanoha, is it wise for us to be so… obsessed with each other? When we started this I thought I had a handle on my feelings for you. They were strange and wonderful and I wanted… I want to experience everything a real healthy relationship entails. The last thing I want is for either of us is to become paranoid. That would be the worst thing for our children to see. I think we need to see a therapist about our fears. I probably should have started seeing one again after we started dating."

Now it was Nanoha's turn to be surprised, "Do...do you really think we need therapy Fate-chan? Do you really think we're obsessed with each other. I thought we were behaving in a normal manner."

Not wanting to worry her wife Fate soothed her, "Nanoha, I'm not say we are completely obsessed with each other. I think we have both gotten caught up in our feelings and with our past trauma we have let ourselves get too wrapped up in each other. I was honestly scared this was going to happen from the start. You are such an amazing person that I could easily spend my every waking hour worshiping everything about you. But you have dreams and ambitions which preclude me being with you twenty-four/seven. I don't want to grow paranoid to the point where I can't let you out of my sight without a panic attack. And I definitely don't want you feeling that way either."

Frowning at this explanation Nanoha said defiantly, "I'm not crazy Fate. I really love you, this isn't me just being obsessive."

Amused more than annoyed by Nanoha's misunderstanding Fate sat up and pulled her wife against her which made the auburn haired woman gasp. Bending her head she began kissing Nanoha's neck as she undid her bra. Sliding a hand between them Fate toyed with a plump nipple making Nanoha squirm on her lap.

Speaking directly into Nanoha's ear Fate spoke in a sultry tone, "I know you love me. I haven't a single doubt about that mio amore. I just want us to maintain a healthy relationship, one where we can each live fulfilling lives without fear or paranoia."

Clinging to her wife Nanoha admitted a fear that immediately popped into her head the second Fate suggested therapy, "What if they tell us we shouldn't be together? That we could never have a healthy relationship and this whole thing will end in disaster."

Pulling Nanoha away so they could look eye to eye Fate answered in an unequivocal tone, "Then I would say that therapist has no clue what they're talking about and will seek a second, third or a hundred more opinions. If the only future we have before us will end in disaster then I will willingly accept disaster. To be your wife and to be allowed to love you is worth any cost, even my sanity. I would rather love you and go crazy then live a long rational life without you."

Tears rolled down Nanoha's cheeks as she listened to her wife speak, shaking her head she said, "I couldn't do that to you Fate-chan. I could never hurt you like that."

Kissing her wife Fate soothed her, "And that is why I truly believe we will be okay. The therapist I used to see when we lived in France is still practicing. He will be the first to agree that our relationship does more good than bad for me."

Seeing Nanoha's disbelieving face Fate pressed her forehead to Nanoha's as she explained further, "The fact that I have been able to open up to others is thanks to you. I can laugh easily and speak more confidently because of you. I don't have to hide behind my artwork anymore. I am finally living again, you are the color that makes my world so bright and wonderful."

The fat tears that rolled down Nanoha's cheeks made Fate's heart ache, trying further to sooth she began to kiss the tears away as she spoke, "Before you if I wanted to enjoy colors I had to blend them myself but no matter how bright and cheerful they might seem to others there was always a dull sheen to them for me. You are the perfect Northern Light every artist longs for, highlighting and making everything more beautiful with your presence. Maybe if you were just a little bit less wonderful I wouldn't be so terrified of losing you. I wouldn't be feeling like the very foundations of my world were shaking at the mere thought of losing you."

Heart quivering from all the attention and fear Nanoha grasped at her wife tightly, "I don't want to lose you."

Squeezing her most precious person in the world tenderly Fate promised, "You never will mio amore. Even in death I swear I will keep loving you, and if there is such a thing as reincarnation you better believe I will search until I find you again. One lifetime of loving you isn't enough."

Then deciding anymore talk would be counterproductive Fate made love to her wife pouring all the love and devotion she could into each kiss and touch. For now her own mental state would find itself more stable by sheer force of will. Nanoha's rocky state demanded Fate step up, so without even thinking about what she was doing Fate pressed all her own fears and paranoias aside all so she could comfort her wife. Not once in Fate emotionally distraught past had she ever been able to see beyond her own pain and fear to recognize another's when in a panicked state. As Fate had pointed out to her wife things were very different now, she now had a reason to grasp onto sanity and to engage the real world.

The pleasured moans and the taste of her wife were the anchors for her sanity. With someone so sweet and enticing as her lighthouse in the mucky black of her paranoia Fate knew she would be alright. And if Nanoha needed her to provide the same stability then she would, there will never come a time where she will fail her wife.

~"~"~"~

The flight to France was unremarkable and the drive back to the Retreat was calm and sedate. Their arrival was noisy and boisterous with the three Starks sisters greeting the returning family with hugs and kisses. Stern was awed by the fact that Nanoha was now carrying Fate's babies, the very concept was beyond her imagination. Even if presented with the offer she never would have it taken up. Taking care of the fragile and shy Fate of her childhood would have been strenuous enough without adding children to the mix.

Once safely ensconced in their room Fate called her former therapist and made an appointment. The man was surprised that Fate was calling and upon learning of her situation made an opening for his former patient for the next day. The fact the artist was now married and her wife was expecting twins meant a full evaluation was needed. The Fate Testarossa he knew wouldn't be able to deal with this kind of stress without serious repercussions to her psyche.

Nanoha was conflicted over the situation, she wanted Fate to happy and calm but if this man decided she was unhealthy for Fate that would mean she would have to give Fate up. It wouldn't matter if Fate wanted to continue the relationship, she would never willingly or knowingly hurt Fate. The idea of going back to her life as it was before Fate came into it made her feel ill.

The pair's quiet mood was shrugged off by the rest of the family as jet lag, especially as Fate took the opportunity to excuse them early to go to bed. Fate began to strip for her shower and Nanoha watched her with eyes full of longing. Turning to look at her wife Fate saw the hunger and came over to her to pull her into her arms for a loving kiss. The fact the blonde was only wearing her panties made Nanoha's hormones go haywire.

The feeling of soft hands pulling at her clothing made Nanoha moan into the kiss before she pulled away. Unsure if she should even be enjoying this Nanoha pulled away as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Seeing this abuse Fate caught her lips again and soothed the abused flesh with her tongue making Nanoha groan. The soft ache from her bruised lip and the incredible way Fate moved her tongue was making it hard to think straight.

Suddenly she was being picked up and carried into the bathroom. The walk-in shower had multiple shower heads and a bench to sit on. The hot spray that caught her body made her gasp and pull away from the even hotter kiss. The needy growl Fate emitted when she lost contact with her wife made the auburn haired woman smile. Now caught up in the amorous mood Nanoha decided to take things up a notch.

Pulling away completely Nanoha stepped under the cascading water and Fate swore there had never been a more breathtaking sight than her wife naked with water rolling down her smooth soft skin. Enthralled Fate stood there watching as Nanoha picked up the washcloth and began to wash her arms, neck and stomach. The sight of Fate spellbound by her made Nanoha feel incredibly powerful. But what if this kind of power was unhealthy for Fate? Suddenly her ardent mood began to cool.

When Nanoha moved to wash her full breasts with their pouting peaks the freezing spell was broken and Fate rushed forward. Only it was too late, instead of getting a mouthful of tender flesh Fate found herself now being penned to the wall. Nanoha kissed her briefly before pulling back again to speak. The need to make love to her wife was strong but the look in Nanoha's eyes made it clear sex was going to need to wait.

Worried Nanoha asked, "Are you sure this therapist will support our relationship? It wasn't long ago that homosexuality was considered a mental illness. Some people still think that way and want to cure sufferers."

Smiling warmly at the concern Fate pecked her wife's lips before replying, "Dr. Lat Cartos is a very open minded man. His daughter is homosexual and has been married to her partner for three years. I sent a wedding present when I got the announcement. The whole family was very kind and supportive of me when I was a patient. If anyone in the world is going to be supportive of our relationship then Doctor Cartos will be the one."

Still freaking out over the idea of therapy Nanoha asked, "Are you sure? He might think we need time apart or that we rushed into this relationship and need to re-evaluate the situation…."

Pressing her fingers to Nanoha's lips to stop this panic filled litany of 'what ifs,' Fate eyes showcased more than a hint of bemusement. This would be the tenth time she addressed this same issue. Having calmly discussed the necessity of therapy with Nanoha, Alicia, Einhart, Vivio, and Carim before they left. At some point she wanted all of them to attend a session with the doctor. Her mental state would affect all of them and theirs' her so it was best they all sat down and made sure not to hurt one another unintentionally. Fate had to smile at the thought that she really did have a family now to take to family therapy. It was rather depressing just having Alicia and a resentful father in the circle, she swore she'd never behave like that disgraceful man.

Pulling Nanoha into the spray of the water with her she said, "Enough with the what ifs Nanoha. You could 'what if' our lives away. Let's concentrate on the 'here and nows', like the fact that I have you naked and wet in my arms."

The feeling of Fate's lips on her sensitive spots made Nanoha squirm and grab on desperately to the blonde's taller form. The use of teeth and tongue to further stimulate her arousal was very effective. The feeling of soft fingers slipping between her wet folds to tease her hard nub made her gasp and call out Fate's name. Then she was being pushed down onto the bench and her legs pulled open.

The sight of her blonde goddess on her knees desperately kissing, licking and sucking at her core was beyond erotic. The feelings each touch brought her was making her head spin and thankful for the solid seat she was resting on. As Fate worked her tongue into her tight passage the stretching made her moan. The slick invader felt so good and the tight grip Fate had on her hips made it impossible to escape the marvelous feelings she was eliciting.

Later having been carried to the oversized bed still dripping wet Nanoha wondered what her wife was up to when she pulled away instead of crawling onto the bed with her. Then her hands were being caught and secured and Fate was hovering over her with the very familiar strapon firmly in place. Being filled so gently and fully by her wife was enough to drive all cogent thought from her mind. Fate held her wife by her hips as she slowly rotated her own hips and making the woman beneath her moan with pleasure.

Fate knew Nanoha's secret desires and fantasies and thanked the heavens they meshed so well with her own. She knew somewhere in both their deep subconsciouses they needed this connection. That the wiring from their ancient primordial monkey brains compelled Fate to do this to somehow finalize her claim over the babies her wife carried. Fate might not have been able to impregnate her the traditional way but she could dominate her body to the fullest extent claiming everything within her. The desperate arching of Nanoha's hips as she tried to receive more of Fate made it clear she needed this on more than one level.

Hands gripping her restraints Nanoha concentrated on the feeling of Fate's warmth above her. The fact that it was her wife who was giving her so much pleasure even after all the hardship and stress she put her through was almost too much to believe. Fate's breakdown had awoken all her own fears and insecurities which somehow seemed to stabilize Fate. She was the weak link in Fate's life, she should be aiming to remove her like a faulty wire instead of treating her like a precious treasure. Yet here Fate was raining down love on her and making her gasp with pleasure. As Fate rocked their hips together Nanoha let out a shaking breath, letting the pleasure wash over her all her dark thoughts fled in the face of Fate's touch.

Waking hours later to the feeling of Fate playing with her hair Nanoha opened an eye a crack to watch her surreptitiously. The look of love and wonder in Fate's eyes as always made her heartbeat speed up. The feeling of those delightful fingers playing over her scalp and through her hair detangling the mess it has become due to their activities was enough to make her shiver. Then the hand that had been in her hair slid down her arm and took hold of her hand and entwined their fingers together.

Fate spoke with a slightly amused tone of voice, "I know you are awake mio amore. Are you waiting for me let down my guard so you can get your revenge?"

Snuggling into Fate's side and pressing a kiss to the exposed skin before replying made her wife's breath hitch and gave Nanoha a slight advantage by distracting her, "Um why does Fate-chan suspect me of planning revenge? I thoroughly enjoyed everything you did for me, besides in my condition it wouldn't be as feasible for me to retaliate in kind."

Honestly Fate had no idea how Nanoha did it. The feeling of her lover's body pressed into her own, the feeling of Nanoha's lips touching her, it was all too much. Wrapping her arms around Nanoha she barely heard her reply as she started cocooning her wife. The giggling and squirming her victim emitted as she tucked her in tighter and made sure there was no escape made her heart sing.

Nibbling on Nanoha's ear Fate spoke slightly drunk on the endorphins her wife caused to flood her system, "I am going to confess to something which I will probably regret later but I think you should know."

She paused for a moment to licked her wife's neck and sucked on a sensitive spot until a small love mark was left behind, pulling away from her handywork Fate continued, "I really like touching you. Not just when we are making love but any touch we can exchange makes me insanely happy. When our hands touch when we pass items I get this little thrill pass through me. When our bodies brush while we are walking I get weak at the knees and my heart skips a beat. When you take my hand and hold it so possessively it makes me happy beyond what words could describe."

Nuzzling the soft skin of her lover's neck with her nose making Nanoha squirm a little before driving laughter out of her head with a gentle possessive bite. The slick tongue that came next to sooth the abused skin further fanned the flame of desire. Holding tight to the one who drove away all her pain and fear Nanoha tried to think of a way to retaliate. When had Fate become the dominate one in their relationship? Then Nanoha realized she always had been, she might have hesitated on certain things and waited to see if Nanoha wanted to engage in certain activities before escalating their play but it was always Fate in the lead in the end.

Nanoha might have said she wanted to kiss Fate, but it was Fate who initiated the first kiss. She said she wanted to make love to Fate but it was Fate who first made love to her. Even with the strapon which she thought had given her the upper hand for a while proved to be a far more effective tool in Fate's umm skillful hands. Sure she had gotten to fulfill all her secret desires with Fate but in turn they had all been turned against her and she been reduced to a quivering mound of jelly.

Pushing her wife down Nanoha looked at her quizzically, "You just like to pretend to be subservient? You really are the master in our relationship, aren't you?"

Confused where this was coming from Fate said, "Mio amore I don't think I am more dominate than you, I am not that brave. I only go so far as I know you will let me, if you told me to stop I would instantly pull away and beg forgiveness for having pushed you too far. If it seems like I am dominate in our sex life it's only because I can't get enough of you. I have never felt like this before, you are an addictive drug. That's the reason why I am starting to panic over you dying, I don't think I could survive losing you."

Nanoha thought about this, was Fate generous or domineering? From day one Fate had always displayed a generous nature. Constantly giving of her time, attention and money. How many charities and foundations depended on Fate's generosity? The teens who were her students loved her more for the honest interest she showed for their lives than for any material object she could bestow. She struggled to think of a time when Fate had been domineering.

Even when she was angry with Vice or Cypha, Fate had been protective, she hadn't even tried to claim Nanoha possessively. Fate didn't have the arrogance to make such claims. At least not outside of their bed. In bed Fate reciprocated her behavior, Nanoha needed to feel 'claimed' to get off now. Her pregnancy made her even more territorial and Fate had gone along with her behavior but she hadn't initiated any of the possessive behavior.

Had her possessive behavior set off Fate's paranoid fears? Before she had taken to marking Fate she'd been fine emotionally. Was the marking reminding her subconsciously of her mother's behavior. The anxiety that thought brought her filled her eyes and Fate instantly wondered at it.

Clutching at Nanoha she pressed their foreheads together, "Mio amore, what's going on that head of yours? Do you really not like the way I behave in our bed? I can restrain myself, I just want to make you happy."

The laughing sob this elicited made Fate's fear spike for a moment before Nanoha kissed her hard to stop her stuttering apologies for being such a bad lover. Only Fate would apologize for making her lover feel so wanted and was an almost childlike innocence to the way Fate loved that made it impossible to resist her charms. Fate loved freely but with the hungry insistence of someone who was sure this wonderful treat was going to be snatched away from her. This belief hadn't made her greedy or selfish with her love, instead she was more extravagant in her own displays of affection.

Anytime she wanted something from Fate the woman gave it to her. She didn't even need to verbally or consciously know she was asking and Fate gave it. When she was feeling insecure or needy Fate wrapped her arms around her and kissed away all her troubles. Even in sex Fate was constantly giving and had a hard time restraining herself from touching Nanoha when she was in the lead. She knew now it wasn't from wanting to dominate Nanoha but because she wanted to touch her and reassure herself that Nanoha really was still there with her. Beyond the physical pleasure they both felt when they touched there was the emotional reassurance they both experienced with each touch and kiss.

Just as Fate said, she loved the feel of their skin touching and the greater the contact the happier it made her. The flickering tongue now teasing her own made her groan and pull Nanoha tighter against her. Already she was losing sight of the conversation and the concerns they had voiced. But the seed of doubt had been planted and she needed reassurance before they continued.

Breaking the kiss, the sound of Nanoha's whimper caused a fleeting smirk to cross her lips before she asked once again, "Do I need to change the way I behave in bed with you? Am I too rough or demanding?"

Feeling guilty over causing Fate to doubt herself Nanoha sighed self-deprecatingly, "No love, If anyone is too rough and demanding it's me."

Shifting so she was leaning against the headboard Fate settled her wife on her lap for a serious conversation, "Mio amore, we have our first session with the therapist tomorrow but I think we really need to talk about our sex life now. Have I ever hurt you or been unmindful of you?"

Placing her hands on Fate's shoulders Nanoha answered emphatically, "Never. If anything you have been overly conscious of my needs. My only complaint would be you never let me gain the upper hand with you. You are always topping me, not just in bed but with all the little things you do for me. No matter what I do I can't seem to catch up, you spoil me rotten and all I do is cause you stress."

Frowning at this familiar complaint Fate pointed out, "Nanoha just because I am not having an equal number of orgasms at night or having you cook for me special meals so many nights a week does not mean I'm ahead and you're behind in "loving," this isn't a competition. Besides you would have won the contest hands down long ago if it was. Look at me, really look at what you married willingly. Touch your own swollen stomach if you are somehow growing forgetful about the score. What is a couple of back or foot rubs compared to your willingness to have my babies?"

Touching the round mound Fate laughed lightly before she continued, "You know Stern never would have done this. Cypha would think this will ruined her body. I don't even want to think about what some of the other women who showed an interest in me would have said or done if put in a similar position. Honestly I don't want to think too hard about this happening with anyone but you. From the first moment we met something inside me shifted, sigh… no make that clicked. It was like my soul knew here was the person I was unknowingly searching for."

Nanoha leaned her forehead against Fate's and sighed, "I love you so much. You never let me doubt your love, you never make me feel small or stupid."

Kissing Nanoha softly Fate then said, "Of course not, you may not be perfect but you as close to it as I have ever seen. You struggle with your self-esteem because of what the Scryas did to you. But to me you are an angel. A divine blessing that I can't imagine living without now that I've found you."

Looking down at her round belly Nanoha finally admitted to why she was so scared of therapy, "Um Fate-chan, I've seen a therapist before. After my miscarriage I got really depressed. The man the Scryas sent me too was deep in their pockets. He tried to make me feel guilty for killing my baby. I ended up getting upset with him and then I was pulled out of therapy. It was after that fiasco that the Scryas let me go back to school."

Covering Nanoha stomach Fate said with tears in her eyes, "If god chooses to take these babies from us it won't be your fault Nanoha. If he takes you from me then I know it will because it was your time to leave. I will do all in my power to protect you and to make your time with me as happy as possible in the meantime."

Curling into Fate's arms more comfortably Nanoha found her niche and settled against her wife for the night. She had no idea what tomorrow would bring but she would trust Fate knew what she was doing.