Disclaimer: I don't own the Arthurian Legends and the movie King Arthur, period !
A/N: Quick note! I edited chapter 1 because the new version was getting old on my computer. Chapter 25 took time. There is four versions of it. I was satisfied with none but I decided to give it a try anyway. Hope you like it ! I have in store some goodies that I will post next chapter, a Family tree for Tanjin, and a fanart offered by a friend. Stay tune then !
25 –Ashes Scattered In the wind
From the moment he woke up, Galahad felt that something was off. It was still dark outside but the small samartian village was already brewing with activity. Fat sausages sizzled over the fire, spicing the air. His Aunt Leah was breast feeding her daughter while talking with his grandmother and four other women. When they noticed the young boy, they stopped. His mother was noticeably absent from this gathering but Galahad knew why. She was still in bed. She had been for a couple of weeks now… Ever since they heard about the Romans, she decided to stay cooped up in their tent. Inside the elder tent, he heard a familiar voice rising.
- This is insanity!
His father Gayden came out of the tent at once and Galahad just had time to hide behind a post. Gayden was immediately followed by another man much shorter, his younger brother Gabris.
- Don't you want to protect your son, brother?
- Don't talk to me about my son! You know I will do anything for my family.
- Then come with us! Let us go so that when they come here, they will find no one!
- It would shame our family, Gabris. We cannot take our words back. This is not the way we do things.
- Uncle agrees with me.
- Then he is making a huge mistake. Taking our words back is beneath us. Our ancestors will be appalled in the afterlife!
Gabris snorted.
- You cannot take your words back? You know what it did to us! It destroyed us!
- We came back.
- We did not. I am here but my mind is always over there. Doing all those things… Trying to survive… We are farmers…warriors by necessity only. We were unable to defend our own family from invasions. We went to fight their wars. They treated us like beast…as a reward. It is so far from what our ancestors wanted us to be.
- You are unfair. They are the one who made the deal. They tried to choose the best outcome for their people. Would you rather have us slaughtered?
- I don't care. I won't let them take Cur or any child of mine for that matter. This madness has to end. Don't let them take Galahad! Let them fight their own battles. Pendragon is dead now, murdered by blue demons.
- I know. Our commander died in my arms, remember?
- Then you know, I don't owe anyone anything. Who knows where they will send our boys now? What if they sent them somewhere far worse?!
- He was your friend too.
- No, he was not. He was just a roman. He was nothing to me. He held my freedom in his hand.
- He gave you your discharge early, Gabris. Don't be ungrateful. Till his last breath, he had been fair to both of us? The romans always respected their words.
- You're a fool. I'm going East.
- What do you think you will find there? There is only death East!
- No! The wolf is dead. His hundred spawns turned on each other. His bloodline is dying. That's our cue, our only chance to make things right. We're joining the Gluck clan. The Goths wants to help us. If we gather in number, we could take back our lands from them.
- Take the land from the Huns? Allying with the Goths? Are you crazy? Can you even hear yourself? Brother, between this savages and the Roman… I will take the end of the bargain I have.
- You are weak. Come with us. They will be here soon. Poor Altea is mad with grief. She does not want to part with her only son. You know you won't have other children. Do you want your blood to die?
- Our ancestors made a vow. I cannot back from those words even if it cost my wife and me to lose what we cherish the most.
- What if he dies other there? He is even younger than us when we were recruited. They do not care about age anymore, those greedy bastards. They're sending boys fight real war.
- I have faith in my son. He will be a great man and he will return for sure.
Gayden suddenly turned toward his son, as if he'd always known he was there.
- You will return, right? You will come back to your mother and I, just so that we can see, what kind of brave man you have become, my son, before we depart from this earth.
His throat suddenly dry, Galahad could only find the strength to nod firmly.
Sweating and gasping, Galahad woke up with a start. Light was glaring. He felt cold and suddenly very lonely. Tangwen. He stood at once. She was not in the cage. He held on to her sweaty hand all night as she babbled on and off about all the members of her large family. He remembered dozing while she sang in hunnish. Now, their cell was empty, the girl was nowhere in sight, and a wave of panic seized his heart.
Noises in the background grab his attention. A crowd of men gathered around Aud's throne. Galahad froze. There she was…
The sun kissing her tan skin, she was moving swiftly on her tip toe. He heard her laughter again as she twirled around another woman.
- Let me go to her! He shouted. Fools! She is hurt! She needs to rest!
Tangwen twirled again and incidentally winced when her half –healed injuries started to ache again. She suddenly kneeled, grabbing her left ankle, eyes blurry with tears.
- Galahad! She screamed. It hurts again!
A guard turned towards Galahad.
- Idiot! Stop this!
- Listen, don't spoil our fun. She was perfectly well a minute ago. She started dancing on her own accord when our Master asked her if she knew how…
- He can't talk to her without me. We had a deal.
- How dare you…
A smile plastered upon his face Aud looked up in his direction.
- It's alright. Open the cage for the good friend.
The guard did as he was told.
- Did you sleep well?
Galahad wiped his sweaty face and shrugged. Aud's second-in-command grabbed Galahad around the neck and approached a knife close to his eyes.
- Answer the question.
- I…slept… well…enough! He groaned back between clenched teeth.
Then Galahad turned back to the girl and asked abruptly what she thought she was doing. She lifted her head eagerly, all traces of her earlier tears gone.
- Galahad, did you look at me? Did you see what I can do!
She twirled again, lifting her leg even higher in front of the men, and pain shot again in her ankle. She winced in pain.
- Stop this instant, you stupid. You're gonna hurt yourself.
- I only wanted to show you...
- I said stop. Shut up! He growled. Don't speak anymore!
In a matter of seconds, her eyes filled up with tears.
- Oh you made our poor girl cry! Why are you so mean with our spirited dancer here? Aud asked with a devious smile.
He got down from his makeshift throne and stood close to the young knight.
- We had a deal. She has to heal first…
- She seemed pretty healed to me. Do you not appreciate our girl's progress?
- There is no way Tanjin will come back into an injured body…
- What if he never comes back…
Galahad swallowed hard.
- What if he never existed to begin with… What if you lied to me and this wench was nothing but a stupid brainless wench… What if you bid yourself just a few days before I am through with you…
Galahad bit his lower lip.
- I did not lie to you…
Aud sniggered. The crowd laughed too.
- Of course you did not, little dog. I have faith in you. You see, I am going to meet Merlin today and when I do come back here with him, I want you to show him something special…something extraordinary.
Galahad nodded slowly.
- You do understand?
- I do…but that's not how…
- No but. Just understand this. I do not care for ordinary things… ordinary pleasure… simple…I like extending my arms too much. I like great things…Epithelium…was great. It was one of the greatest constructions I have ever seen. Yes, Romans can build things from nothing and turned it into big things. Those towers…Those majestic walls…Those beautiful flags! One day, I was simply tired of looking at it. I wanted more… I wanted to build my own castle in its place ? Do you know that man Marcus… Marcus Claudius Olympus…
Galahad nodded weakly.
- He was my friend once… That roman…A great man… Great man with great capable hands indeed… I like him… Over the years, we've grown tight, I must say, with him restricting my people's rights on its own land, and me negotiating amiably to keep an all too fragile peace like Merlin advised. We were great friends. We were…Great friends. And last summer, when I saw the jewel my friend was hiding from me… I coveted it. I wanted to reach for it. So in exchange for the fragile peace, I asked humbly… Do you know what I asked?
Galahad shook his head.
- It's silly, really. Even I am ashamed of it these days. He snickered again. You see there was no woman that strikes me as more beautiful and truly innocent as his daughter Yseult.
Galahad's eyes widened.
- I see. You've met her. So you know what I'm talking about. So, tell a story short, I humbly ask Marcus to consider an even match of great blood. After all those years of negotiating treaties, I deemed this one a formality until he simply laughed in my face.
Aud looked twice as the girl he saw back at the fort.
- He laughed…
- Yes…He did...I was a little bit upset about that. I mean we were friends. Great friends. Do you understand little dog? Did you ever have a friend who betrayed you?
Galahad's thoughts went to Tanjin. He nodded.
- You are not so stupid actually. You understand. I felt a weigh in my heart when I took his wife's pretty little head and send it back to him. I was so conflicted. I am still so conflicted. Her pretty little head went off like that… Do you remember how it went off? He asked around.
His men nodded with various malevolent smiles.
- I am sorry. He did not consider your feelings. The romans never do anyway.
- You are so very compassionate, little dog. Well at the end, the girl, the beautiful Yseult and her brothers, they ran as fast as they could and I chased them to your doorsteps. Too bad they escaped my influence; we could have been so great together. Anyway, that is why I came back for their father and Epithelium. You see I originally had planned to let him see his daughter and I getting along well in this very city he built from scratch, but the old man became to bothersome. So I lost my temper and... Burned it all.
Suddenly, Aud's big hands grabbed Galahad's collar tearing him from the arms of his lieutenant.
- I like you. You are a very loyal dog and I strongly feel that you understand me better now.
Eyes wide, Galahad nodded quickly.
- See, I do not have a need for an ugly bitch who can dance.
Aud paused.
- Well, of course she is not that unpleasant to the eyes and I would probably love to spread those legs further apart till she screams and bleed. But I would like something truly astonishing. So that Merlin recognizes my worth. You promised that something great will happen. Right?
Galahad gave a final nod.
- Then, off I go. I will see you when I am back. Hopefully I will have a new tool to play with. Until then, get my pets back in their cage.
The first time and the last time she came here, all Morgan could remember was Snow Blossom's beautiful features under the moonlight and the quick ceremony that was followed by her meeting with Tangwen. It was the most important night of her entire life. The night that decided it all, she felt all the signs.
They did not leave the castle much after that. Mother Vivian's health depleted rapidly and Morgan had so much to learn in such a short amount of time. They was no time to waste. Also, so busy on the journey of self-discovery that she was, they were simply not many occasions to go on trips. So, even though she was scared to death of what the future behold, Morgan decided she should at least appreciate the fact that she was outside the walls of Avalon.
True, she came to love that place over the years, enough that nowadays she call it easily her home. There was beauty and mystery in these lands, like a whisper that turned out to be the beginning of a lovely song. Avalon was like this with its endless mists and the black birds dancing around its old towers covered with deep green moss. The goddess was everywhere. She could feel her pulse under her little feet as she walks in Broceliande. She could smell ashes in the air.
After their brief voyage on the boat, their walk in the forest was pretty uneventful. Snowblossom moved swiftly from branches to branches while Harkin led the way on foot. The twins closed the party, paying close attention to their surroundings.
- What are you thinking Mother? Whispered Calybrid.
Morgan stopped, her breath coming shortly. She leaned conveniently on a maple tree that "whispered silly stories in the wind". She smiled.
- I think the sun is still too warm.
Her eyes were closed, her face sweaty and unnaturally pink.
- You will get sick again. The warm lights of summer never agree with our little Morgan here. Maybe Snow is right and we should go back to the castle, your ladyship. Calysto offered.
Morgan playfully snapped her tongue back at her handmaiden.
- Calysto, you're ruining the mood. "Mother" really likes the simple pleasure provided by leisure and travel. Not everything is about being healthy and reasonable.
- Well Said, Calybrid. Having a little bit of entertainment is allowed from now and then.
Snowblossom dropped herself gracefully in front of them.
- I beg your pardon, Your grace? A little bit of entertainment? Is that how you call it? Our little impromptu bout in the sanctuary could very well cost us our life. Never Mother Vivian would…
Harkin groaned. The twins rolled their eyes knowing in advance how Snowblossom had planned on finishing that sentence. Snowblossom had with Vivian the kind of relationship, mentor to student that could not be disclosed in books. The two were close to the point of sharing bed. The last months of Vivian's sickness and her consequent death were still some very painful subjects to her. These days, she was even more unbearable than usual. Morgan frowned.
- Snow, you don't have to be so rude about it. Calysto intervened.
- Somebody has to be responsible here. I am only telling the truth.
Calybrid unceremoniously scoffed at that.
- Who made you chief? I am sure her Ladyship knows what she is doing. She is the one in charge. She is the new lady of the Lake? Who are you to challenge Mother Vivian's words?
- She is still a child herself. Age has provided me with some wisdom. I am just sharing. All I am saying is maybe Morgan is not ready to…
- Harkin is the oldest and…Callysto began.
- She is not saying anything. Calybrid added.
- Well, I do have something to say. Harkin finally cut in calmly. Lady Morgan is gone.
It was then that the trio stopped their bickering long enough to notice the disappearance of their charge.
- Not again… Calybrid sighed.
- Why is she always doing that? Callysto noted curiously.
- Oh Goddess forgive me, I'm going to kill her. Snowblossom groaned.
Morgan?
With hesitant steps at first, she walked toward the voice. It was not long before she was running toward that familiar voice, arms stretched before her, her heart beating quickly. Fast, her little feet pushed against the ground. She threaded her way through a thick bush, and then started up the slope. The ground was dry and muddy, slick footing, with rocks and hidden roots, all ready to make her stumble. Her frantic race came to an abrupt halt and the girl bumped into a tree. She knew then without a doubt that she was not alone. Rather amidst the deafening sound of her own heartbeat, she could decipher the forest whispering all sort of dark nonsense. Morgan wanted to cry and laugh at that. She chooses to smile instead. Raising her hand in the air, the blind girl demanded silence. Silence did she obtained just as quickly, as the forest seemingly fell into a deep slumber. She could no longer hear Snowblossom and Calybrid's bickering far away. She could no longer hear the wind and the leaves courting each other. Even the tiny creatures froze in her presence and dared not move. She sighed, taking off the cape on her shoulder. It's not like she needed it any longer. She took another deep breath and for a while she stopped pretending she was powerless.
- Well, what do, My Goddess, want? She asked sweetly.
- Well, how bold of you to ask me that question, child?
She let out another sigh.
- I thought I was doing your bidding.
- Let's not pretend you were working on my behalf, Wild Child. You can lead the sheep quietly not the cattle.
- Well…I was doing my best.
- And…I am afraid I am you but you are not me yet.
- These old sayings again… I don't like them. They're old and pompous.
- We love tradition, mortal. You love chaos.
- I do not…
- You revel in these situations… Admit it.
- Well, it amused me a little bit. But the goddess is also being entertained. We both win.
A cold gust of wind blew on her face and for a brief instant she could not speak, her tongue frozen.
- I did not wish to anger you further… Let's not argue who make more profit of the situation.
She glanced around, unnerved. The woods seemed dead now, its life absorbed by some unknown force.
- You can be challenging, child.
- I am truly sorry to be such a bother. If only, you'd have chosen someone else for the matter at hand. At least, Snowblossom seems to think so…
- Do you dare question my intuition? Do you wish for a shorten life perhaps?
Morgan shook her head nervously.
- Very amusing, My Goddess. You should know the length of my life matters little to me at all time.
- Well, it is a becoming a problem since it encourages your rashness…
The wind was moving. It cut right through her. She tasted cold iron in her mouth. Pale shapes glided through the woods, surrounding her in circle. She felt more than notice with her eyes their ghostly presence.
A shadow emerged from the dark of the wood. It stood in front of Morgan. Tall, it was, and lean and hard, with flesh white as bones. The entity wore a burgundy velvet dress similar to the dress Lady Vivian wore on her last day on earth. The earth turned dry every step it took. Ashes formed a mist around the creature and darkness painted its face black.
The forest was entirely too quiet, as if holding its breath. The ghost leaned over her, humming a neck before relenting. Shivering slightly, Morgan bowed respectfully in front of the shadow. Earth crackled beneath her, forming tiny lines and wrinkles, like tiny rivers of blood. The monster groaned. Morgan lifted her hands and two clouds of vapor rose from the ground. She joined hands. Loud rumblings thundered throughout the lands, the sounds echoing on the ground beneath her.
- I would hear the words of the Raven Queen, she who watches over all, she who has many forms, she who walks the warrior path.
Shaking her black mane, seemingly enchanted, the goddess took on Vivian's features and smiled.
- What a careless little child you are?
- I did as you ask, my Queen.
The goddess smiled showing her sharpened fangs.
- You did as I ask. Did you really, Morgan?
Morgan nodded.
- I did as you ask. Yes, I did what needed to be done. She was suffering.
- What a rotten heart you have inside that chest of yours? You started this child. In your haste to see that sister of yours, you trampled everyone on your path. You are ruthless and selfish. You woke me up with your prayers knowing a Mother always listens, Morgan. You should know this. I am you but you are not me yet.
Grey eyes filled with tears.
- I had one chance to see her… to have her with me… You showed it to me. You showed me what ought to be done. You make me like this, your Grace! You gave me this gift. The others don't really need to know what I truly am inside but you know. I am what you made of me.
- You are not me yet, child.
- I am your humble servant.
Peal of laughter rang in the air. The War Queen propped her head to the side.
- We are jesting… We know you, little rolling stone. I told you I am you but you are not me yet.
Her heart skipped a beat.
- I want to be you! I am here for you, Goddess! Don't you see?
- For us? You are here for us? Ha! Ha! Ha! Good! Good! We like misguided thoughts! This is how it should be, little rolling stone… You and me….tangling webs of lies together…
- You summoned me.
The goddess shook her mane and each strand of hair turned red. A pale lifeless figure with auburn hair she appeared before Morgan. Its features were somehow familiar though she did not know why.
- I summoned you, Wild Child. I did. I felt that we needed to talk, you and me. She said with a familiar voice.
The ghost extended his icy cold bony fingers toward Morgan and played with her dark mane. Morgan flinched at that but stood her ground nonetheless.
- You don't know how difficult it was. I have remorse. I feel guilt over what I have done but you showed me it was necessary. We need to go through this path of pain. I did it for you and for her…
The goddess stared her down. Morgan lowered her gaze.
- Well, I also did it for myself. Is that what you want to hear? You ask for a sacrifice, My Queen. I gave you one. She was dying anyway. Morgan shrugged coldly. What a mother to do in this case, Goddess!
- My final days are here, Morgan. Come closer. Come sit with me.
Morgan did as she was told and sat beside Vivian's bed. She took the woman's hand in her hands. It was cold and pale. She strokes it gently and offered the sick woman a reassuring smile.
- I am truly sorry. I tried to rid you of the pain but…the medicine I have at my disposal is not strong enough.
- It is alright. I do not feel much pain.
- I should call the girls again. They need to be here.
- I already said goodbye to my tender love…to them… No, I want this moment… to be between a mother and her child.
She caught immediately the real meaning behind those words. Vivian squeezed her hand tightly. Her features darkened ostensibly.
- You do not need to pretend anymore, Morgan. I could always see through you.
Her eyes grew wide in recognition. Vivian closed hers and sighed deeply.
- As I come close to my end, I want you to try and forgive me. Will you do that?
Morgan frowned hesitantly and shook her head slowly.
- Please, my daughter….
- I could never forgive you for making me feel unwanted since the day I was born.
- You will not believe that I did what I needed to do in order to protect you, Morgan. You were my blood…
Tears streamed down her pale cheeks.
- They called me the Wild Child or the Wicked… They called me more names than I could recall. They constantly mocked me and call me ugly. Yet, you left me there for so many years. For what? For your little kingdom? For this ridiculous amount of power? I despise you, Lady Vivian. You were never my mother. You carefully chose not to be.
- I did not want you to suffer the same fate as me, Morgan. Growing up here… in this place… You would be in constant danger…Even to this very day, I cannot bear the thought of leaving you like this. But I have no choice. I made a mistake. I should have taught you much earlier. The powers you seek to harvest, Morgan, are forces not to be reckoned with. I came to get you because you were becoming a danger to the others and mostly to yourself. What I feared most is happening.
- I never killed anyone. I never did all those things they accused me off! They were liars! A bunch of nasty traitors with no honor at all! It was her doing. She never liked me! I only defended myself!
- Yet…you called upon the Goddess at age ten! Nobody ever did, Morgan. You can control the elements like no other before you. No Lady of the Lake before you ever could. I had my first sighting of the Goddess at the age of 31. My own mother never really saw her. My aunt, Morgause, the one you resembled so much, the one I named you after, the one whose fate was so tragic, was the one who had the gift at that time. As talented as she was even she could not rise to your level. You were an infant but you saw much beyond… You saw what was behind the mists with clarity. In your crib, you used to stop crying suddenly and stared at invisible spots in the room and then the sun would shine red on the wall. Your first word was the Goddess name. You spoke to birds and they fly around you. You are a prodigy, Morgan, but you need to be protected from yourself!
Morgan smiled candidly.
- You give me too much credit, Mother Vivian. I only know what you taught me about the goddess. I will call Snowblossom from here. Surely your young lover will want to stay with you in this difficult time.
She smiled coldly and stood straight. Instead of calling Snowblossom, she walked toward the fire pit.
- Mark my words, your desire to see this girl you call your sister is clouding your judgment and is about to cause your downfall. There are rules… Centuries old rules. You cannot bend them at will. If you call forth the Goddess, she will want something from you. You will have to pay her services with blood.
- You are exhausting, Lady Vivian. Why is death only looming at your door and not entering? These are questions I seek answers for.
- You think you can control it. You think you can play with the Goddess and get away with it. You think you can stir her to see the world through your badly damaged eyes and soothe the pain you feel inside. I also thought this at one point. Then I had you and I lost you. I learned my lesson. I am telling you again, child. Morrigan give life and take it back. Our Goddess is beautiful. But she is a goddess of battle, strife, and sovereignty. She is the Goddess of pain. We are linked to her and her to us. But there is an ongoing battle out there that surpasses your own issues. There is a bigger purpose here, Morgan.
Morgan looked down coldly.
- You are telling me that my strife is not important enough for it to matter to the world. Morgan whispered as she walked toward the bed with a bowl of broth.
- No… I…
She put a stern finger on Vivian's lips.
- Shh… Do not exert your strength too much…You will need it to the end. I have to be absolutely truthful with you, Mother Vivian. You are right. It was not so bad being raised by him. I grew accustomed to people fearing me. I grew accustomed of them moving out of my way. I even come to like it, feeling as if I was destined to walk alone. But then, I met a girl once… Really, we bumped into each other…one fateful night and it was all thanks to you. She was as dark inside as I was. Her heart was scorched just like mine. Her soul was split in two. I felt an instant connection with her. I knew it was meant to be. So I want… to give you my thanks. You gave me this… gift. I intend to use it wisely. You taught me how to accept who I am. Even if I can't show the world this dreadful face you refused to acknowledge once, I will become stronger because of you, "Mother".
- This is not you talking Morgan! This is the Goddess! This is her will!
- I am her and she is me. So be it! Now will you drink this broth I made for you to soothe your pain?
- You made another broth?
- I did. She said softly. Much stronger than the last I hope.
- You do not want to do this.
- It will help! This disease is killing you, Mother Vivian! She said, feigning to be alarmed.
- Morgan, you will have to stay with me until the next moon as I will spare you some wisdom before my departure in the otherworld.
- I am ready to do that, Mother. I am so ready.
She held down the broth.
- Well, Morgan, if this is the path you have chosen you have to be stronger than her at all time and this is no mere task since you're mortal and she is not. Remember, you are not her equal. The minute you will have the impudence to think so, she will strike you down.
- I see. I will work hard, "Mother". Drink now.
She opened her mouth again and Morgan poured the black liquid between her lips.
- You will feel better instantly. You will feel no pain. You will feel no guilt. You will have no more regrets. This is my gift to you, Mother Vivian.
- I gladly accept it, my Daughter. I love you. I will always love you.
Vivian closed her eyes finally and fell into a deep peaceful slumber. Morgan sat on the chair, clay pot in her shivering hands. She waited, tears running down her cheeks.
- You're not a mother, little dead raven. You are something else entirely. You are too eager. I was at peace finally after years of fight and wars with my kin. Yet, you rouse me…for your selfish purposes. You almost gave me nothing for my trouble.
- Were you really at peace while men here were fighting with their lives on the line? From what I saw, my Goddess was very busy… and naughty. Really naughty. I can smell it from here. You work hard, your Grace.
The entity smiled with blackened and crooked teeth.
- You made your point. You always were my favorite, Morgan. Since you were in your mother's womb, I wanted you to see. However you resisted my influence and came to life, sightless, as if a challenge. You can be so bold, child. You can speak so audaciously. Yet, I see you tremble before me.
- You are Morrigan. You give life and you take it back. I'd be a fool not to be scared! There's no limit to your powers. You create wonders. You are merciful. This side of you I cherished, my Goddess.
- But you are also so excited to be here. Truth is I know my wild child love darkness as much as she does light. That's why she is so special.
Morgan said nothing.
- Well, I am glad I found you anyway because we were bored. We do not like being bored. The goddess said with a childish voice.
Tangwen. Grey eyes wide opened, Morgan was startled again. Leaning closer, the ghost gave her disturbing wink.
- Like I said… I was grieving… when this mad man…went on a rampage… this crazy man…decided to change my rules challenging me to take his side… Blood was everywhere… feeding the ground… perfuming the wind…It was so beautiful…War is so invigorating… So sad… So vile...So wonderful... We are lost… Should we be angry or should we revel in this newfound beauty? Tell me. What do you think?
- I cannot say. You are Trinity. Life, Death and Chaos all at once.
- Indeed. I am. So you see, we wish to absolve them. We decided that there will not be much of a price to pay…for these disturbances. Men. We are very fond of them, my dear. You will grow to love them too. Their pride. The adoring ways they look at a woman…when they share flesh… Their lies…Their inward desire to destroy everything…They are my most precious children. I am a very proud mother.
Morgan nodded.
- So this is your wrath?
- Wrath? You got it all wrong, Wild Child.
The entity pouted and laughed.
- This is not my wrath… yet… I am simply fascinated with those little mortal lives… struggling so hard… against the current…against the flow… fighting the inescapable… the inevitable…the ineluctable…the inexorable… As if it was their choices and not mine. See, I choose who live and die. I chose who will be king and who will be beggar. But they struggle nonetheless with a sense of pride.
- I understand.
- Not sure you do really, little one… Take for instance… The one that cometh from far away… The only one in your heart. The one who is so promising. We admire her. Her pain… This bloodlust….She exudes… This constant contradiction…That daughter…born from contradiction… That son of mine who is so beautiful and strong.
- They are….
- Their dual minds… Magnificent… Brilliant… Spirited… Ruthless… As soon as you met her, you knew, didn't you? You wanted to be her. I wanted to be her.
Morgan did not answer.
- You asked for this, right?
Morgan said nothing.
- You wanted to be reunited. You wanted the feeling of loneliness to be gone.
- That… is what I… ask for, my Goddess.
- Since you are such an obedient child, you shall have what you ask for. I will also.
- I do not understand.
- Bring them to me… I want to taste them… so bad… It's not too much to ask my wonderful child? It is also what you want…
Morgan frowned. Behind her, in her blur of motions, the ghost of Tanjin climbed on his black stallion and rode toward his bloody vengeance spreading carnage on its path.
- You want their souls. But I already gave you a sacrifice. I gave you Vivian.
The goddess shrugged nonchalantly, mirroring Morgan's previous stance.
- You said it yourself. She was dying anyway.
- I do not understand what you want from me.
Hands wrapping around her neck, Mother Vivian teased her ear with her tongue.
- My little storm bird, I think you do. She whispered. I am afraid I am you but you are not me yet.
- You always say that but it does not mean anything.
- Does it? It is the truth that you cannot hide from me.
- You want me to give up on my sister. We claimed each other in the dark. We are family. My Goddess, I cannot do that.
- You are just like them…Morgan…fighting against the current even though you know deep down in your heart that it is useless! The spoils of this war should not be enough to us! We are you! We want more! We are entitled to more! We are the origin. We are the end.
- What are you… saying? That these people's lives do not matter! That their fight does not matter! Morgan shouted angrily.
In a cloud of smoke, the entity suddenly vanished. Out of breath, still shocked by her sudden outburst, Morgan took this opportunity to survey her surroundings. The forest stood still around her.
- My Queen?
There was no answer.
- Goddess? Are you still here?
- I don't know for sure if she is. But I am. A man answered. Great speech, by the way!
Morgan almost jumped out of her skin from fright.
- Who are you?
A man with chestnut brown-haired man and curly hair came out of the shadows wearing a black shirt and coordinated leather breeches.
- I see that you have a habit of making significant encounters in very shitty dark woods. Where does that come from? Abandonment or self-esteem issues… I am curious.
She took another tentative step back.
- You… What did you just say? Who are you?
- You summoned me.
- I did not.
- Are you sure?
- Well, Sir, if I had summoned anyone in such a fashion. I would remember doing so.
- Really? Well, it's strange because here I am and the goddess or whoever you were speaking too is gone.
- You know the Goddess?
- That lady was so very pretty and deadly. That made her so close to be my kind of woman. What a shame!
Morgan blushed furiously and quickly stepped away from the man. The stranger's face smiled at her confidently.
- How could you talk so freely? No… No… I don't want to know. You are not here.
- Sweetheart… You need to help us here. You're cute and everything but we cannot do all this work alone, child. The man said.
Without warning, he grabbed her wrist and whirled her toward him, planting a passionate kiss on her lips. All at once, she felt a surge of energy like she never felt before. She tried to catch her breath, her body shuddering.
- Let go of me this instant, you animal!
- I can give you more of this. But I need your help.
- Well, I did not ask for this! I do not want more. Let me go and go away!
- You're blushing. You're a liar but a bad one. You want more? I give you more. I always keep my promises.
- Goddess, please! I'm sorry! Please! Come back! She shouted. I am sorry! Don't leave me alone! Please!
Cold fingers touched her lips.
- Shhh… She is not listening, you know. It better stayed that way! In addition of being deadly, she is quite scary. You need to know that he is important to us too. I mean she… She is a She…She is a part of us. You need to respect that. She is our family too.
- What are you saying?
- You cannot take her from us. To the contrary, you must help us get her back.
- Stop saying things so freely… Stop talking…as if you knew me or anything for that matter.
Morgan reeled away, breathless.
- I will when you understand that you cannot take her away on a whim.
- You are different. How come you can talk! How come you are not dead!
- Thank you for noticing. You look healthy too. But that is not my main concern.
- You can talk freely. If I conjured you up here, how is it possible? You are not part of me! Not like the goddess!
- Precisely! This is what I want you to see!
- What you want me to see?
- I am only here to say what you need to hear, Doll! I tell you, you give her what she wants, we are all dead. You don't give her what she wants! We are still so fucking dead! Still you have to choose and choose wisely.
- Do you really think that is what I want to hear?
- All I can advise you is for you to be bold and unpredictable, Lady Morgan. Be audacious… Be Her. She needs you to be her. She is begging you to be her. Follow your instincts. Do the right thing. That is how you lead…
- Even if I wanted to, she would never let me lead. She is too powerful. Are you insane?
- You think you're the incarnation on Earth of an ancient Goddess and you dare call me insane. Granted! You will be happy to know that you are not the first woman to ever ask this question. I assure however that I am not insane. I am dying and it's much worse. I do not wish to die here.
She looked at him, eyes wide.
- You do not exist. You are not here. You are a figment of my imagination. I wish you go away.
- A minute ago, you were having a conversation with a goddess. So spare me your skepticism, darling.
- I have lost my mind. You are not even from here.
- You are clairvoyant with that. I am impressed. Is it all you can do with these tiny hands of yours, little witch?
- What did you just call me?
- Then, we're probably doomed anyway! The man said sarcastically.
- Stop mocking me!
- Lady Morgan, you are simply growing more powerful. Was I the only one who said this to you recently?
- Do not say more…strange man… She may come back. I can feel her. She is close.
- Listen, I do not believe in this nonsense normally. I was born doubting any of this bullshit was real. I like to think that everything could be explained. But these days, I am willing to overlook the whole nonsense that made a scared little girl an all-powerful Goddess because I simply don't want to die. I have still so many things to do. This is not my time!
- You…
She stood there speechless.
- Remember, you can only help if you become her. You have to be stronger than her. You have a beautiful smile when you are fearless. Keep in mind, I like my women fearless.
Morgan frowned and closed her eyes. She could no longer keep a steady heartbeat. When she opened her eyes again, Vivian was overlooking her again.
- I am surprised. How did you do that? What are you playing at little witch? Those eastern souls…very hard to control. How did you? The goddess said again.
Morgan shook her head frantically.
- It's beyond your level of comprehension. Why did you even try?
Morgan opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. With a bony finger with nails as sharp as claws, the goddess pointed her heart.
- What is there that you are trying to hide in this little rotten heart of yours?
- Nothing. So you said I have to sacrifice Tanjin in order to prove myself to you.
- How can I say it gently? Dear Wild Child, at the end of this day, this bright full day, all those beautiful creatures…struggling against the current…moving against the flow. Well, they will all have to die.
- No! Please! It is not their fault! Some of them are innocent! Don't be angry! Please! I will do anything you want. I will stay with you forever! Please, Goddess!
The stench of death was suddenly around her, teasing her nostrils to nausea. Eyes wide, brimming with unshed tears, Morgan watched as the grass on the field turned dark, bones crunching noisily in the background, the scent of ashes heavy in the air. Morgan faced the shadowy figure. Gone were her emissaries, the goddess was no longer playing games.
- I will contain you as the High priestess of Avalon I was trained to be!
- Contain me? She snorted. You wish to contain me? And you're a priestess now?
- I am strong enough to restrain you in your anger. Vivian said so. They will be no more unnecessary deaths. No more! I am the Lady of the Lake…
- No, you're not. You're the Wild Child. Mine. That is what you are…
- I do not wish them dead.
The good Goddess stood in the skin of a woman who looked as old as Morgan, with skin as white as bone and hair as black as the night. Nothing disturbed the pure white of her eyes except for a patch of crystal gray irises. She smiled at her reflection deviously. Morgan shivered under the intense gaze of the Goddess.
- Don't you challenge me, little girl! I am you but you are not me yet!
Morgan nodded anxiously before losing consciousness altogether, crashing with a thud on the sacred ground of Stonehenge. Her body tensed in retaliation, Morgan was suddenly rocked by violent spasms. She convulsed violently, blood running through her nose.
That is where Snow Blossom and the girls found her, but it was not before they realized they had company. Woads. The hills were crowded with Merlin's people.
- Listen, Tanjin… I mean Tangwen. What you did earlier… Well, that's the perfect example of things you should never do again.
Tangwen smiled cheerfully, almost proudly, having already forgotten everything bad that had happened earlier, even her aching ankle. She grabbed the bar above her head with one hand and lifted herself to the roof of the cage, head upside down, with an ease that ought to be impossible to achieve in her condition. Galahad paled. Her right leg shot upward stretching and securing her position between the bars. She was the monster he needed. Yet she had the mind of a naïve child. She seemed almost inhuman in that position.
- Did you see me dance, Galahad? Did you find me pretty in this dress they lent me? I do not like this color. I like blue like Galahad's eyes better.
- Have you grown mad? What in the hell possess you to do such a thing! Climb down this instant.
He grabbed her by the waist and waited patiently that she let go before he sat her down.
- I like dancing! She pouted. Talika always said I was pretty good at it.
- Those men were about to kill you. Galahad exclaimed, not believing her credulity.
She shrugged.
- But they stood no chance against you. You are a knight. You would never let them hurt me, I know. I'm starting to know you pretty well. You are family. Tanjin's little brother. You'd never let them. Tangwen laughed. At the very least, Tanjin would not have let them anyway.
- Tanjin is not here. He hasn't been for a long time. You're delusional if you think he or me we are some kind of savior ready to save your pretty hide…
- So you say I am pretty…
- Stop being silly! This is serious matter! I can't believe it! I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. This is a nightmare. There is no way I can find us a way out of this place with my meager talent as a liar and your usual recklessness.
- Oh! No! The other time I found you very convincing. I too think Tanjin is a demon sometimes. He can be so mean to us. But I never met a demon so I am not really sure what it supposed to look like.
- Unbelievable! You are unbelievable!
- Yes, you are right. It would be unbelievable if I ever said I met one. I am also not very good at lying. Keda said to never lie to him anyway. So that is why I don't usually lie. Tanjin is the one who is constantly hiding the truth not me.
- Stop this babbling nonsense. I am trying to think here.
The girl nodded. Then imitating Galahad's posture, she crossed her arms, frowning in an introspective manner. She waited another full constipated minute before she started again.
- Did you find me pretty in my dress, yes or no, Galahad?
- What's it to you? We are going to die if I can't think of any other way! Since you're insane… now indefinitely.
- I'm not insane. Say I was pretty. She pouted.
- It doesn't matter!
- Of course, it matters! I like it better when you say I am pretty that's all! You are so selfish and ugly! You stink like a catfish and I hate you!
Lips trembling and big bubbly eyes filled with tears.
- Don't you dare!
She was openly crying. He covered her mouth with his hand.
- No way, you will catch their attention again. Please, stop!
- No! I want to see Talika…or Keda… or my slave… Melan. They're my friends. My family. This place reek tremendously and mother wouldn't like it. I want to see Mother. Where is she? Where is she hiding?
- Your mother is not here.
- She abandoned us? She did. She does not love us anymore.
She started to cry again.
- She did not abandon you.
Galahad sighed. She was starting to get on his last nerve with her mood swings.
- Listen, I'm trying my best here. Don't you realize where you are? You have to realize this is no leisure trip.
- Kiss me to make the hurt go away.
- What?
She pouted her lips.
- Kiss it to make it feel better. Mommy always kisses the "hurt" away.
- I cannot kiss you.
Again, she burst into tears.
- Alright, you won. I will kiss you. But you have to promise you will do as I say from now on.
Tears drying on her cheeks, Tangwen let out an amused scoff.
- I don't want to do what you say. I don't want to offend you but what you say is usually very boring, Galahad. We do not like being bored.
- Of course, you don't like being bored, your highness. You like to dance, babble nonsensically, and being held hostage.
- You are being sarcastic again. We do not like being held against our will but there is nothing we can do if Tanjin does not come to us. Don't blame us for our situation! Blame Tanjin!
Galahad sighed. Somehow she made a point.
- Dully noted. Alright, let's make it a game.
- I love games!
- Oh my! Somehow, I knew that… Listen…If you do as I say for an entire day, I will give you another kiss and a foot massage.
She laughed.
- You will?
Galahad nodded. Tangwen scrubbed her nose, thinking it through.
- I don't know. What if it's not what I expect it to be… what if you're not very talented?
- At massaging your feet?
- Not that one! This one you can learn! Melan learned. No, I was referring to kissing.
- Hey, it's not like you have so many references, you stupid!
- I'm not stupid! I have plenty experiences, you common dwarf. Prince Talika used to play my consort all the time. It was very fun.
- Your consort? Talika? Your brother? That's gross.
- You can talk…I'm not listening, you poop.
Galahad raised an eyebrow. She was delightfully crazy.
- Hey, Crazy, I am experienced too… I kissed many women…I have a record that rivaled Sir Lancelot…That should tell you something!
Galahad had never uttered a lie so big in his entire life and the effort was quite exhausting. She was exhausting.
- Ser Lance-Lot… What a funny name!
- Listen, Poophead, I kissed Amery and many maiden. I am a man by all accounts. You should not challenge me…
- That's why I want to try…
She hurriedly put her hands over her mouth.
- Oups… I shouldn't have said that.
- But you already did. What is it?
- It's a secret.
- What secret?
- Don't ever say I told you this but Amery said despite his lack of hair chest and his youth, Galahad is a good kisser. Tanjin was asleep but we heard.
- She said that?
The grin on Galahad's face grew wider.
- She did. So we were intrigued. Amery is our friend. She is our funniest friend. She knows all kinds of game. She is a very good kisser too. Tanjin call her a whore but I honestly don't know what it means. But her lips are so soft, we melt inside. She is a very good kisser. Tanjin can be so weird.
Galahad's grin faded, abashed. He took a deep breath.
- I see… Well, Miss, I am going to kiss you now… Prepare yourself to be enthralled…
She started to giggle. Galahad blushed. They were off to a bad start…
- You use hilarious words. What does it all mean?
- That is such a bad idea! I give up already.
Not listening to anything he said, Tangwen grabbed the boy by his collar and pressed her lips to his, effectively silencing the young knight. Galahad was breathless when she released him. He felt suddenly drowned in a pool of green eyes. She shook her wild mane.
- Not that good. Sorry.
- Hey…
He grabbed her back, closing his eyes. He kissed her fiercely… His lips bruising against hers, he was getting more and more passionate by the minute.
A hand pressing his jugular firmly, painfully, Galahad reluctantly parted to catch air.
- What the hell do you think you are doing, Samartian? A hoarse voice asked.
Galahad paused.
- Tanjin?
- Do you want to die so early in your pathetic life, you disgusting wimp?!
- It's you? It's really you!
Before Tanjin could mutter a protest, Galahad grabbed him for another hug.
- Let me go, idiot. Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me…again? What were you doing to me earlier?
- Nothing… We were… I was just…. You were there and then you were not and I was in a hurry and… I just… She was just…It was her idea… She was bullying me into doing her bidding. She is crazy but smart and devious… I was not thinking. I can't think with her! Just like… I can't think with you but worse. She is much worse.
Tanjin blinked twice, groggily. He wiped his mouth clumsily.
- What? Did you just kiss me, you sick dog?
- No! Never! Well… I'm the one who's about to get sick or mad… Your madness is contagious, Tanjin.
Galahad simply shrugged.
- Well, Tanjin, I'm not about to be held again accountable for your actions.
- My actions? Tanjin scoffed.
- Yes! You are to blame. That's what Tangwen said anyway… I guess she is right. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.
Fury blazing in his eyes, Tanjin growled.
- Watch your mouth, you weakling! Who are you to talk to me that way? Wait! Did you say "Tangwen"? Where did you heard that name?
Galahad looked embarrassed.
- Hum, I saw… you were more undressed than this….at one point…Hum…It's a long story. For short, Melan and Danis are dead. You've gone rogue. We've been defeated by the enemy and held hostage ever since…and…
- She was here…
- I tried to wake you up or whatever it is that you…do…but…you were out of it. And there was this person… You… part of you…I don't know…Now we have to…
- You saw her. Tanjin repeated dully.
- Well, like I said, you were out of it.
The rebellion died in Tanjin's eyes. Bending his head in shame, the hun curled away in the cage.
- I can't deal…with this right now. It's too much… I'm still tired.
Tanjin shook his head in denial, breathing deeply.
- Hey Tanjin…
- Can't deal… with her… Ruining my life…again…I don't want to be here... This is too much…
- Tanjin, listen to me… Now is not the time… We are probably going to die! It's not important right now that you're a girl or stuck in a girl's body… believe me! Nobody cares! I don't care!
- I am not a girl, you fool. I am Tanjin! He screamed.
- Quiet now! All I am saying is that they will torture us… and I need you to stay focused.
- Can't do that… Have to rest some more…
- Did you not hear me? Our situation is most dire! This man was not joking. He is even crazier than you. That is saying something right now seeing as you fully embodies the word madness.
- I'm so very tired. Sorry, Galahad.
Tanjin closed his eyes. Galahad shook him for all he was worth, hoping he would come back from that daze state, until Tanjin opened his eyes again with strange results.
- Stop! It's unpleasant! It's not my fault if you're not good at it, Galahad. It was not that bad. But big brother is better. I am sure Amery wanted to be nice. She likes you very much. Don't be sad, there is nothing wrong with being forgettable. Do you want to play a guessing game?
Galahad crawled on his hinges, looking like death would have been a welcome distraction just now.
Gawain wanted to be cheerful on this new day. He thought for sure that this was the day, the day their rescue mission will fulfill its primary purpose. They rode without much incident all night with a torchlight to guide them in the darkness. Gawain could never believe for a second that Galahad and Tanjin could be long dead. Galahad and Tanjin, the youngest, relentless in the art of annoying each other, could as well be described as the most stubborn human beings ever born. Killing these kinds of pests could take days if not weeks. Tanjin was the most gifted on the battlefield. But on the other hand, Galahad was quite resourceful and a quick learner. He was never reckless and quite disciplined. If Tanjin, despite his small frame, had enough muscles to destroy an army, Galahad had enough brain and self-restraint to ensure both of them didn't die recklessly. Time was all they needed.
Gawain watched as Tristan swiftly cut the throat of a woad scout. They stumbled upon that one early in the morning but Tristan was quick to act. Also, Duncan was on one knee having found earlier horses tracks that could belong to Scourge. Gawain rinsed his mouth in the river along which they rode. He'd heard female voices at dawn. And though he was pretty sure what he heard was real, Gawain was quite reluctant about telling the others because he didn't want them to mistake his uneasiness for Danis' religious babble. Someone… Something haunted this forest. He was convinced. He honestly didn't want to know what. The sooner they'd find Gal and Tan, the sooner they'd be on their way home. He had every intention of asking Market girl her name back at the fort and buy Tanjin an embroidered scarf for that time at the trial. Gawain rose to his feet in time to avoid being sprayed by Tristan throwing the dead spy in the river. Gawain turned to see Duncan flicked with the tip of his fingers some brown spongy substance. Gawain's face turned into a disgusted grin. He did not need to ask what this was.
- Duncan?
- It's fresh. I think I found him.
- You're sure it's Scourge? Gawain asked again.
- It sure taste like it belonged to him. Duncan shrugged, climbing on Aurora gracefully.
Gawain's mouth opened widely. His eyes widened in stupefaction.
- You tasted it?
Still standing in the water, Tristan hid the beginning of a grin. Illyria nudged his shoulder and neck gently.
- For real? You tasted it and all… You can do that?
Duncan nodded his face a mask of seriousness. Gawain turned toward Tristan.
- No one find this a little bit… bizarre…or shocking…How can I say this without sounding overly judgmental and harsh! Well, this was plain disgusting and you even dare kiss that poor horse with that mouth.
Tristan snorted at that, holding out his hand for his hawk. Tristan and Duncan were still pretty much at odd. There was absolutely no water going under that bridge anytime soon, at least until they found Tanjin and Galahad. But if there was one subject where they do agree entirely, it was without hesitation the matter of teasing Gawain. Gawain was right. His presence was a distracting breath of fresh air for two people who did not feel like catching a breath these days. If it was not for him, they'd end up dead much sooner without reprieve from their emotional turmoil.
- Say, Duncan, what does it taste like? Gawain asked curious.
Tristan started to laugh out loud at that. Duncan could not hide his amusement any longer. They rode at a quiet pace.
Gawain groaned. How many times was it now? Nine. They seemed to love playing him for a fool.
- Alright, I get it. It was very funny.
- Then why aren't you laughing? Duncan asked.
- Because I am rethinking my participation to this rescue team. I was supposed to be the cement between you two but instead I am…
- …The comic relief. Tristan offered, unusually spirited.
Duncan couldn't help but laugh at that.
- Thanks Tristan for your help.
Tristan nodded.
- Don't worry, Gawain. You're the cement. We're the rescue team.
Duncan snorted as Aurora came closer to the edge of the forest.
- You're welcome, Duncan.
Suddenly, Duncan put a finger against his mouth, silencing his comrades. Because not only had they found Scourge in the center of a vast green meadow but they had found more woads than they had asked for. The stallion was surrounded by seven men threatening him with spears and cords, in an attempt to keep the temperamental animal in check.
Tristan dropped behind Illyria. Gawain unceremoniously got down from his horse. Duncan gestured for Aurora to move and Illyria and Rubicon, Gawain's mare followed. A strangled neigh broke the peace. Tristan and Duncan shared a look. Duncan had never seen Scourge in such a distraught state and it instantly brought tears to his eyes. The stallion had drastically lost weight over a short period of time and his snout was muddy and blackened. A dozen bloody scratches adorned his once immaculate black robe. In his eyes where there was only pride once upon a time, he could see fear. His ears and eyes pointed straight at the threat. The men took a step forward raising their spears. Scourge sniffed loudly, furrowing his eyes. His mouth was foaming heavily. The horse took a step back. Unnerved, he kept dancing restlessly in the same spot. Bravely the animal tried to flee again but was ultimately cornered.
Before Duncan made a move to help him, Tristan grabbed him around his neck. "Let me go," he silently pleaded with his eyes. Tristan shook his head firmly. Scourge breathed heavily through his nostrils, fright freezing him on the spot for a moment. The leader of the party unrolled a whip. Duncan felt his blood turn cold. His eyes grew wide. Before he knew tears was running down his cheek, he couldn't see clearly. The whip cracked once in the air before meeting with skin. Gawain's hand fell on Duncan's mouth before he could scream in pain. Duncan raised his eyes angrily at his companions. But all the rider found were eyes just as unyielding… Another crack… Another desperate neigh from Scourge… He felt like his chest was on fire and he was unable to breathe.
This time, Gawain's warm hands grabbed his face forcefully, keeping him focused. They had to stay hidden. They had to…for Tanjin and Galahad's sake. Suddenly blindsided by the memories of his father's beating or the memories of the winter trial, Duncan could feel the burn of each lash. Without fail, he was in agony. Finally, after a dozen of whiplashes, Scourge "died a hun death". The stallion crawled on his knees; his snout low, finally defeated.
Gawain wiped his own tears. His eyes itchy, Tristan tried to look elsewhere but felt ultimately nauseous. Yelling in his tongue, the leader gave his order to tie the horse.
Tristan watched as the small party led Scourge away. He stood up, taking a deep breath to ease his stomach. He extended a hand toward a prostrate Duncan. The rider gladly accepted. With Gawain's help, Tristan helped Duncan back to his feet, and whistled Illyria back.
- You want to talk about it.
Duncan climbed on Aurora's back.
- We have their location now. It is all that matter.
It was all he said.
Tristan spit on the ground before quietly mounting his horse.
- I guess you're right. Gawain said, not really knowing what he should say in such instances.
Snow blossom's hand massaging her face, Morgan was slowly coming back to consciousness. She frowned, feeling a wave of nausea. She opened her eyes to find herself brutally blinded by the sunlight.
- Close your eyes, said a voice in Pict.
Morgan did as she was told. She felt better instantly.
- What happened?
- We found you here. You were unconscious, little Mother. Shaking as if demons had possessed you… Calybrid explained.
- Not Demons… Morgan said tiredly, wiping blood on the back of her left cheek.
Realizing she was crushing Calybrid's supple chest with the weight of her body, she stood up.
- Do you want to talk about it? Callysto asked softly.
- There is nothing to say.
- Are you sure? The pict voice asked in turn.
A twin on each flank, Morgan stood up to finally face the man whom the voice belonged.
- Greetings, Merlin.
The old man smiled oddly. Standing behind him there was an assembly of five men, dressed in white, clan elders, coming from different part of the island. Ten young men constituted his personal guard.
- Greetings daughter or should I say your Grace. I see that you arrived early. Fortunately, you are safe.
She nodded, arranging the cloak on her hair.
- I honestly thought it'd get better with time, Lady Morgan. He added.
- It doesn't. She answered curtly.
- I see. Well, I present my deepest condolences. Lady Vivian was such a great and kind soul.
- She is with the Goddess now.
Merlin paused before he nodded slowly.
- You do resemble her a lot. Your mother was indeed a beautiful woman.
Callysto and Calybrid opened their eyes wide. If they'd learned a long time ago that Merlin was Morgan's father, they never suspected that she really was Vivian's daughter. Snowblossom never said anything on the subject but the hostile look on her face was proof enough that she was indeed aware that Vivian and Merlin have had some kind of relationship in the past. The rule of the Goddess was quite clear. If they were allowed to take male lovers to their bed, men were not allowed to linger in Avalon. There were many secrets Viviane had not share with them it seems. But what was stranger was that Morgan was effortlessly as secretive as her biological mother.
Morgan shook the creases in her dress and stood even straighter.
- I guess… She was. She said somberly.
Merlin seemed to realize the awkwardness of the situation.
- You've grown taller.
- Are you here to talk about my growth as a person?
- Lady…
Morgan turned angrily. A shadow clouded her features. Unbeknownst to all, movements behind Merlin had caught her attention. A brunet dressed with a brown embroidered summer dress bent over respectfully in front of her.
- You brought her.
- Well, Guinevere always travels with me. You know that.
- Hello, Morgan… I mean Sister…
- Don't call me that so easily! Morgan blurted out.
- Don't call her that, wimp! Calybrid added. After all the despicable things you and your wicked mother did to her!
- You don't know anything! Guinevere retorted.
- Calybrid, stop! SnowBlossom intervened.
Merlin stepped forward again.
- Yes, Manners, Guinevere. You should call your older sister by her honorific title. She is now the new Lady of the Lake, the High Priestess of the Morrigans.
- I apologize... I did not mean to offend you, your… Grace. I was just glad to see you healthy, that is all.
Raising an eyebrow, The girl said with a bold edge in her voice.
- You mean seemingly not blind and crazy. Well, I have to correct you. I am still blind and my own people still dubbed me crazy from time to time. I haven't changed one bit.
Guinevere and Snowblossom blushed at the same time, for different reasons. Morgan pulled herself away from the twin.
- It's me who has changed, Lady Morgan. Please accept that.
- You did… change. You may have breast now. Congratulations, you are a woman, Gwyn. Spoilt, jealous, heinous, what a beautiful young noblewoman you have become, sister. The pride of our father. Your mother must be proud.
- Stop teasing your sister, Lady Morgan. It's beneath you. Merlin stated sternly.
- How dare you come with her, Merlin! How dare she appear before me! She is not welcome here!
- Do not talk to me like that, Wild Child. You are my seed. I am your origin. Merlin said in the ancient tongue. Do not presume to judge my actions.
Snowblossom unsheathed her knife to play with it.
- Listen, old Man, thank your luck that we are still mourning "my" beloved Vivian. I do not appreciate the tone you use around my Mistress. In other times, you and your charge would be dead for desecrating our sanctuary. Your role stopped after you sired our Lady. We, Morrigans do not ask much to our breeder. You're just a man waiting for Morrigan to have mercy on. This is not your territory and you may be fooled by our small number but if I were you I will be careful how I address the Lady in charge.
Merlin smiled.
- You're just how I remember it, Snowblossom, as impetuous as ever!
- You're just how I remember it, Merlin, old and depraved as hell.
Merlin and Snowblossom exchanged hateful glare.
- Snowblossom! Morgan warned.
- He asked for it!
- I know but they are our guests. So don't be rude!
- We did not invite them!
Merlin calmly stepped forward.
- We know… Someone else did. Someone who should not be left in charge of such things. Merlin announced.
- Aud Askin… Guinevere sighed.
Morgan nodded.
- He sent me a message saying he had the key to defeat our common enemy. He said to come in number in order to celebrate.
- What a fool! Snowblossom groaned. This is not his land. Where does he think he is?!
- Well, Aud had always been very special…
- You used to be very fond of him, I recall. Morgan snapped.
- Father had nothing to do with this bloodbath. The other brunet retorted angrily. That man is out-of-control.
- Well, whose fault is it? And why do you care? You want them dead anyway! Arthur and his knights!
- You are still very young, Morgana.
Morgan opened her disturbingly clear irises defiantly.
- I am old enough to know you're a hypocrite!
- How dare you, Morgan! We are your people! Did you forget in just two years?
- I never forget anything, dear! All I know is this man wants to give Father what he always wanted, getting rid of the roman cavalry. You must be a happy man. Are you not?
Merlin said nothing. He exchanged a few words with one of his advisor in his maternal tongue.
- Last time, it played out so well.
- What are you talking about Morgan?
- I am the blind one or you are, Guinevere. Oh no, you're just the naïve one… The pretty one… Father killed Uter Castus Pendragon.
- Uter Pendragon?
- Arthur's father.
- You did?
Merlin looked away as an answer. A look of disappointment clouded Guinevere's features.
- Morgan, I am sure father had his reasons.
- Oh yes, he had reasons…See, Father's dreams of a United Caledonia, a great kingdom whom he would lead to prosperity, had often led him to think that the key was the Great wall of Hadrian. He wanted to get rid of the cavalry so he could conquer the Wall and free the wild men from behind the Wall. But his plans never work so well. So the year following Pendragon's death, he raided the great wall of Hadrian again but the villagers resisted. At that time he had to kill that poor boy's mother. Still, Hadrian never yielded. As long as the blood of Pendragon will be alive and well, Hadrian's Wall will hold. That is what he believed.
- I know my sins, little girl. Do you know of yours? Merlin said calmly.
- I have never killed anyone. Morgan retorted defensively.
- Yet…Precisely, my child.
- You came to me! With her! What did you expect?
- For my daughter to help! Merlin shouted back.
- Well, I cannot help. Avalon is mourning. In time of grieving, the rule is clear. No blood should be spilled unnecessarily. It would be too dangerous to disobey the rule. If she is awakened to chaos, the Goddess will be unmerciful in her wrath. That is what we believed.
Morgan paused, remembering her vision. She lied. The Goddess was already awake and she was already wreaking havoc. But she was convinced they did not need to know that. She felt a shiver run down her spine. She flinched under her father's intense gaze.
- So Morrigan is not awake…
- I had no visions of her in a while. I only knew you will come to me asking for that I cannot give.
- Interesting. He said. Aud was a dedicated pupil. I raised him like a son. I know he will never be satisfied with just Epithelium. I know my bittersweet daughter that you know this, you're anything but thoughtless.
Morgan stood motionless. Guinevere grabbed her sister's hand forcefully. For the briefest instant, no one knew if it was the golden reflection of the sun or the wind sweeping their hair aside, both girls looked uncannily similar. But then the moment passed and Morgan was back to be the Dark child and Guinevere was back to be the Golden princess and they were back to be opposite.
- Morgan, he has gone mad. I beg you. Do something. More than priestesses, you are warriors. Somebody has to stand.
Merlin remained quiet. But Morgan could hear the steady pulse of his heartbeat, or he way he stroke his long beard with his thumbs in an excruciating slow motion. On the other hand, Guinevere's heartbeat was like a Saxon drum in her chest. She barely took any breath between her words. Her small chest was rising and falling. Her hair rustled softly against the wind as she grew passionate. Mirroring his daughter Morgan, Merlin closed his eyes. Closed then was the door to his thought. The romans would call it his "modus operandi".
- Why don't you do it? Morgan asked Guinevere abruptly.
A younger sister stopped mid-sentence. She turned to Merlin, surprised. Yes, Merlin always made sweet Guinevere do his dirty work for him and she was only too happy to oblige. It was the only way she felt important and special to her father's cause. Morgan knew that feeling.
- I would. You know I would. I'd fight him. But father said our hands are tied. The heads of clans refused to move. Our tradition forbids us to go after one of our own. He'd gathered many under his banner promising them the spoil of war. I don't have the power to win this war.
- How old is she? Callysto whispered to her twin.
Her sister shrugged. Guinevere turned to Callysto angrily.
- I was born the same year as Morgan. She was born in winter and I in summer. I may be young but I am not afraid of death. Not like her!
Morgan closed her eyes to stop the waves of bad memories.
- Then you are an idiot and you will die a messy meaningless death. Guinevere, you were born thinking you had all the answers in the world.
- And you spoke the truth. You did not change one bit. You are even scared of your own shadows. Those powers they say you have, they're nothing but a sham. Born a liar, always a liar.
- How dare you insult our Lady like this! We have our own traditions too… Callisto said.
- Yes, you cannot blame our lady for your mistake. You, people, are the one who created that monster. You should be cleaning your own mess! Calybrid added.
Morgan sighed.
- I am truly unexpectedly sorry. Our hands are tied too.
- So you will do nothing? Guinevere said.
- Twenty days. Mourning will last twenty more days. We will see then if our Merciful Goddess left us a world to save.
- I will find someone else, then.
- Gwynefhar, my sweet sister, be my guest. Morgan concluded, her tone challenging.
Aggravain was worried. Strangely enough, he was not worried about Gawain. His older brother was level-headed most of the time. He was excellent at pacifying situations. He knew if someone could talk some sense into Tristan and Duncan, if anybody could come in between these two when they argue, it was Gawain. So Aggravain believed that they will be fine and that soon they'll be back with Tanjin and Galahad in tow. So, he was certainly not worried about Gawain.
No, what had him on edge was Arthur's reaction when he announced their desertion. More precisely, it was his lack of reaction that had him worried. Arthur barely flinched and just ordered to keep packing. Then, when everything was ready, he just mounted on his horse and rode out in the grasslands, leaving the shelter of the forest. Sharing his horse with Lancelot, Dagonet soon followed, and then it was Bors' turn, then Blaez and a wounded Percival. That was when Aggravain realized what was wrong in this scenery. It was Lancelot's job to relay Arthur's command. He realized then what Lancelot's dying really meant for them. It meant that there was no way for them to communicate with Arthur. There was no way to reach him now that Lancelot was down for the count. Something horrible had happened on the battlefield four days ago. They'd lost Melan, Danis, Tanjin and Galahad. They were losing Lancelot. Their family had been ripped apart.
Aggravain glanced over his shoulder at the carriage that wheeled three bodies back to the fort. The smell no longer got to him. He was quietly numb. He hadn't had anything to eat other than a few crumbs of stale bread in days. How could you think about eating when Melan who could stir bread like no one, lay dead on his back inside a carriage?
- Arthur?
Realizing Bors had stopped his mare and was dismounting, Aggravain hurried to the front.
Arthur got down from his horse and just stood there while Bors and Blaez helped Dagonet haul down Lancelot to the ground.
There were probably a million things Arthur wished he'd have done differently, the first being listening to that stupid idiot and never set foot in this place. He wished he was not such a failure as a commander. He had been defeated. He had lost this battle. He had lost the most basic weapon a commander evidently needed on the battlefield, the trust of his men. He did not know how one could recover from this.
He had a million of wishes. Arthur stood there with a haunted look in his eyes.
He lowered his gaze to Dagonet. While Bors was frantically searching for a pulse, Dagonet was scavenging through Melan's bag in the hope of finding a miracle. He was shaking his head in despair and Arthur knew he'd find none today. So he held his breath and waited. All the knights did the same. Finally, it was Blaez who move first, crouching next to Lancelot's lifeless body. The blonde quickly wiped a tear from his cheek before he brutally punched Lancelot in the chest. His torso bent in a weird shape, as if coming out of water, Lancelot inhales deeply in dire need of air.
- You bloody bastard, it's not time for you to go!
Percival grabbed his arms and tore him away from Lancelot. Blaez turned to Arthur angrily.
- Don't just stand there like a coward? You are responsible for this. I blame you for this.
Arthur flinched.
- Blaez… That's enough! Bors reprimanded.
- Shut up Bors! Someone has to say the truth. We trusted you and you fail us. End of story! But don't just stand there like the roman asshole that you are! Fix it! Fix this!
Arthur lowered his head, grabbing his pain-filled chest.
- We're waiting! Blaez growled. At least that bastard Tristan is doing something to fix his…
- He is breathing again albeit with difficulty. I don't know why you did that Blaez but it work. I can't tell for how long. Dagonet said. But I don't think he can be moved more than this.
- We need to get out of here. Aggravain said. We're easy targets here.
Aloysius nodded uncomfortably. A stunned Percival lifted his hands behind his head. He had never seen Blaez so angry before. Bors just sat there not knowing what to say.
- Arthur's call now! Blaez roared. We're fucking waiting! What ? No answer?
Arthur shook his head slowly and took a few steps back. Before he could go further, Blaez grabbed him by the collar.
- Look at me! I am not going to let you get away from this! I want you to bloody feel this pain because I am bloody well feeling it!
Arthur stared him down with a mixed of incredulity and blatant outrage. Then, losing his temper, he brutally pushed the blonde away.
- I am feeling it! I am fucking feeling it! There's not a part of me that is not here right now! So don't bloody come into my face, feeling you own that pain because you don't! You are my family. You are all that I have left in this world. So, I am in bloody agony here! I promised I would not let him die in these woods. Minutes ago, I almost failed to honor that oath. So don't talk to me about responsibilities.
- Arthur! Blaez! Lancelot…is…He is talking again.
They immediately come closer.
- She… is… coming… She…is…coming…coming… His eyelids closed, Lancelot muttered.
- Who's coming? Lancelot? Can you hear me? Arthur asked. We have to move you again.
- All I hear is you…and Blaez… That hurt…by the way.
- Sorry. Blaez bit his lips apologetically.
Lancelot smiled through half-opened eyelids.
- Don't worry… She is very pretty…
- Who? Bors asked.
- Lancelot…
- I release you…from all promises…ever made…except for the one about you bedding… an improper girl one day. I already… asked Dorry for you. She knows what… to do… You ought to do something… about that…virgin cross you're carrying between your legs like a martyr... I will…not be… at peace…if you don't…
Arthur's eyes widened at that. Aggravain let out a surprised snort. Bors scoffed. Aloysius bit his lips in an attempt to control his hilarity.
- That was uncalled for you bloody bastard. I will not have your sloppy seconds.
- Are…we…going…to… argue…that…my sloppy…seconds…are…better…than anything you ever…had?
- I am not arguing with you today, Lancelot. You can make it. You are strong. We just have to get out of here and…
Arthur grabbed Lancelot's arms.
- I am not going anywhere. I am too comfortable here waiting for her…
- Lancelot…
- Did you… not hear Dagonet? I cannot… be moved. I like it here anyway… There's grass and a vast blue open sky…
Arthur kneeled.
- What are we supposed to do?
- You could either…go or wait… for her with…me.
Arthur looked around, hesitating. Leaning on Arthur for support, Blaez crawled to his knees again with an amused smile on his face.
- We're waiting with you, Lance, but if Lady Death is not pretty. I am punching you again.
Aggravain sighed in relief. It almost seemed like nothing happened. Lancelot was in good spirits. His banter with Arthur was familiar and pleasant. It reminded him fondly of Gawain and him. He sat down on the nearest rock looking as the sun disappeared slowly behind the hills. His eyes sprung to the forest seemingly lost in darkness. One by one, torchlights of unknown origin flared in the dusk.
- Well! Guys! I think somebody is waiting for us!