Note: this chapter has to be dedicated to my sister and new brother In law who just got married last week and I was so cool that I got them a book.
Eclipse chapter 24
"Did we really just do that?" I asked Edward as we rode in his Volvo to the reception.
"We certainly did, Mrs. Cullen." He replied with a grin. He was feeling smug, I could tell. Normally I would be tempted to say something smart to bring him down a level, but as I looked at him I felt no such desire. He was completely happy; there was no hint of inhibitions or sadness or anger or worry. There was simply…Edward. I was officially a married woman. I looked forward again and shook my head in disbelief and laughed.
When we finally made it up the long driveway to the Cullen, there was a full crowd waiting to greet us with all of my in laws in the front waving and smiling. So many people…I could feel the sudden rush of fear choking me and making my heart beat faster. I was sure to be trampled within thirty seconds. I gulped.
"You'll be fine, I promise." Edward whispered to me, gently squeezing my hand.
"And you still claim that you can't read my mind?" He smirked before climbing out of the car and getting my door for me. I smiled at the waiting crowd, absolutely scared shitless, and glanced around waiting for them to do something. And they all smiled at Edward and me…waiting for us to do something. We all stood there for a good 2 seconds when Edward, always knowing exactly what to do, grabbed me around the waist, pulling me into a dip and kissed me on the mouth. When he let me back up I put a hand on my forehead only slightly frazzled and tried to regain my balance. There were many whoops and laughs from the crowd and I saw several cameras flash as the tension instantly released and we were rushed by our friends.
I tried to pay attention to the different people who hugged me and offered good wishes and congratulations, but everything seemed to be spinning in a swirling mass of color and sound and by the end the only people I could remember even seeing were my parents and the Cullen girls. I wasn't even sure if Esme had been there…
Let's just say that I was thankful when it was over.
So after the preliminaries the real party began. The buffet table was set and most people were all gathered in little mingling groups carrying plates and glasses piled high with culinary delights created by Esme Cullen herself. She must have prepared enough to feed an army, but I tried to stay as far away from it as possible so as not to ruin the insane garment that I was still required to wear for the next several hours. I hadn't gotten tangled up in it yet, but it was bound to happen at some point and I would be on edge until that moment happened. Frankly as I walked around I felt like I was in a fancier version of 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding', except without actually being Greek. So it was more like 'My Big Fat Vampire Wedding', or maybe 'My Big Fat Lets-see-how-many-ways-Bella-can-get-herself -killed Wedding'. Yeah, that worked.
It wasn't quite time for the dreaded dancing to begin yet so Edward and I spent our time drifting between the different groups of conversation and mingling. We were in the middle of a discussion circle with Angela, Ben, Mike, and Jessica, talking about plans for college when Edward suddenly froze completely. His arm tightened around my waist to the point that he was hurting me and I knew that something was very wrong.
"I just remembered, I have to ask Alice something." He said to our friends, instantly changing his face into a mask of indifference. "Please excuse us." And with that he began towing me to the other side of the yard where Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were all standing in a tight, joyous circle. They didn't notice us at first as we walked purposefully toward them, Edward taking long, fast strides and dragging me, half-stumbling, along. Jasper was the first to spot us and his face fell when he saw Edward's expression and he told the others to make space for us.
"Alice" he muttered angrily as we reached them, "Didn't you see anything?" He pulled me tighter against him and I grimaced. Rosalie noticed.
"Geez, man, what do you think you're doing?!" She chided, pulling his hand off of my waist and bringing me a few steps away from him. She examined the fabric of the corset and there were a few dents where Edward's fingers had been. "You're going to have some nasty bruises after that." She said quietly to me. I frowned a little and looked at Edward, but he was already whispering to Alice so quickly that there was no way that I could discern even a syllable of what they were saying. Instead I decided to busy myself by looking around the crowd and trying to make it look as though nothing was wrong.
That's when I saw him, standing across the crowd watching me. So that's what Edward had been so worried about. Jacob Black stood stone still with his mouth a hard line. He was clearly uncomfortable and by the look of it, slightly scared. His near black eyes met mine and we were just locked in this stare…and then for the first time in so long I saw him again for who I knew he was, and not what he seemed to have become. The pain and anger in his face had diminished and he was my Jake again. My best friend. He started walking towards me and with out really meaning to, I did the same. Edward was either to distracted to notice, or too shocked to react, but either way no one stopped me as I stepped carefully to Jake and we met somewhere in the middle.
"Hey". He said. I didn't say anything. "Can we talk?" He asked, growing more nervous by the second. I just nodded and led him off to the house so that we could talk without risking everyone overhearing. When we reached the building I turned to him with arms crossed and he waited for me to say something, but I wasn't about to, so we just stood there for a moment.
"Can you forgive me?" He begged, staring straight into my eyes.
"No." I said simply. I couldn't. He sighed and looked down, ready to leave. "But I can try." I added, my voice shaking slightly. His eyes shot up to mine and he smiled. I took a deep breath and released it before I continued. "I can't forgive you for what you did, or more so what you tried to do. It's not that easy. You're my best friend and I want to, but forgiveness takes time; time that we don't have. Because I want to become a vampire and if you're still dead set against that-"
"That's why I'm here." He exclaimed, interrupting me, "I've brought something for you; a peace offering." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen which he handed to me.
"What the heck is this?" I asked, looking at the highlighted areas and the four dotted lines at the bottom of the page, one of which was signed by Jacob and one by Sam.
"It's your choice, just on paper. This is a document that, if signed by you, the Vamp turning you, the Werewolf who offered this to you, and the Leader of the pack at the time of turning, will make you a legal exception to the 'no bite' treaty and you can stay in Forks as long as you want. So like I said…a peace offering." I read through the paper and it was exactly what Jake said it was. So if we all signed this, I could be turned and put no more risk of anything. I read through it one more time, euphoric, when I noticed a problem.
"This doesn't say what happens if he kills me." I looked at Jake who looked down and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well, that's the thing…we still aren't really willing to sway on that. If He kills you…let's just say that there's going to be a little issue." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"'Issue' meaning that if I die, then this contract is void and you have full rights to kill him? So this doesn't protect Edward at all! Either we both live or we both die!" I lifted the paper slightly to toss it on the ground, but a hand grabbed me by the wrist before I could do so.
"Not that it would end differently under other circumstances." Edward said. He let go of my wrist and gently took the paper and pen from my hand. Using the house to write on, he signed it without hesitation and handed it back to me. I looked up at him with fear obvious in my face, but his mouth remained a hard line. "This better than anything we could have asked for." He muttered to me, then turned back to Jacob "Thank you." He said, extending his hand. Jake stared at it for a moment and Edward took his hand back and walked away. I turned back to Jake with the same scared look that I had given Edward.
"I won't let anything happen to him. I swear." I was close to crying, but I held it down and using my knee as a desk, I signed on the dotted line 'Isabella Marie Cullen'. The name was messy and the penmanship poor, but still the name looked right to my eyes. I handed the paper back to Jacob who stowed it in his jacket and turned to leave. I watched his back and felt my heart ripping up inside me. What if this was the last time I'd see him? Was this what I wanted his opinion of me to be?
"Jake?" I called. He turned slowly and I ran to him, throwing my arms around his waist and pressing my face into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around me in a bear hug and he pressed his cheek on the top of my head. I could smell the pine in his clothes; the scent was comforting and so familiar. It was the scent that had helped save me from when Edward had left me. "I missed you." I whispered for his ears only.
"Yeah I missed you too." We let go of each other and he smiled at me; a REAL smile.
"Please stay for the party." I begged. He just nodded and we walked back to the party together. Edward stood next to the dance floor waiting for me with a slightly smug smirk. Jacob walked right up to him and handed me off.
"I believe You'll take it from here?" Jake asked Edward and extended his hand. Edward shook it and nodded his head, both men smiling.
"Hey," I said to Jake, "You know my friend Lisa is over by the buffet table and I know that she would just love to meet you." His head turned inquisitively to Lisa and I know the look that I saw. And when she looked back, she looked shocked, and yet drawn to him. Yes, you can all sing Halleluiah because Jake just imprinted on Lisa and now I can keep at least one human friend in my life after the change because she's going to have to find out sooner or later, right?
The rest of the night was spent dancing and laughing and toasting until all the humans were ready to fall over. I didn't trip on the dance floor because I think that Edward may actually be stronger than the force of gravity, and I really felt like I got a proper goodbye to everyone. So when the final dance ended and the last of the guests left, I couldn't have been more ready to go inside with the man I loved and get turned into a vampire.
So why then did my heart race leap with every step that we took upstairs to his room where we'd decided to actually do the change? If I was ready, why was I second guessing myself? When we reached the room I told Edward that I had to get out of my ridiculous wedding dress before I could do anything else. He helped me take off the sleeves and loosened the many ties before I ran to his closet and changed into a strapless green dress with white flowers that Alice had left for me. It took me a good fifteen minutes to get changed fully before I padded out barefoot into the room where Edward was sitting on the couch. His jacket and vest lay on the ground, his tie was loose, and he wasn't wearing shoes or socks. He would only stare at the ground, lost deep in thought, and refused to notice anything in the world around him. He was every bit as scared as I was, and I knew that we were both afraid of the same thing; of losing each other.
The dead silence in the room was maddening, so I walked over to the radio and turned it on. Bonnie Tyler was singing a heartbreaking song that I knew all too well. -Cause tonight, Forever's gonna start Tonight! Once upon a time there was light in my life, now there's only love in the dar- I flinched and turned the dial until I found the next station. Some metal girls were rocking the drums -Silent pain. Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams. Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie- I spun the dial quickly to the next song –Though I've died to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't some-. That was it. I punched the 'off' button. "You have got to be kidding me." I muttered.
Edward's quiet laugh made me turn back to the couch. "Is the radio giving me problems?" He asked jokingly. I walked over and sat beside him on the couch facing him.
"I say that we throw it out the window." I replied with a frown. He laughed again, but his eyes were pained. He brushed my hair back, revealing my neck. I shivered at his touch, fear rising slightly in my stomach. He rested one hand on the right side of my neck and gently leaned in so that his lips brushed against the left side.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked me, his voice scarcely audible as his cold breath beat against where my neck met my shoulder. His voice was shaking and I almost said 'no, I won't do this if it'll hurt you.' But I knew him well enough that if we didn't do this now, then we never would. And the Volturi would come down on us and my whole family would be destroyed. I couldn't let that happened.
So instead I closed my eyes and turned my face towards his. "Yes" I whispered. Edward brought his face up and stared in my eyes, searching for something. "Yes" I said again. The look in his face told me that if it were possible for him to cry, he would. But he didn't cry, he just brought his lips to mine and kissed me for an eternity. At least that's what I wished for, but too soon his lips moved to jaw, my neck, down to the spot where I felt his sweet kiss become razor wire.
I had to fight down my instincts to thrash and scream and push him away from me. He wasn't a monster, he was Edward; my Edward, and he wouldn't let anything happen to me. So rather than fight him I pulled myself closer to him, my right hand clutching to the back of his shirt and the other knotting in his hair. All of my muscles tightened, begging me to defend myself, to scream out against the pain, or just acknowledge the pain's existence. But I defied my body; I didn't scream. All I did was cry and wait for the moment when Edward would pull his teeth from me and hold me and let me know that everything was going to be okay.
But that moment never came.
They say that the moment before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes and that your final words are everything that you always wanted to say. All I saw was Edward. I knew that I was going to die; I knew that he was the reason behind it, but it didn't matter to me. I wasn't angry, I wasn't scared, I was just sad. I wasn't ready to go yet. I mean, I had wanted so much more from life and to just have it end was…
But I think that the part about your final words was right, because even as my world was starting to go dark I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I leaned close to Edward ear and I whispered with the only strength that I had left
"I love you."
Edward's POV:
I felt the brush of Bella's whispered words against my consciousness and instantly the red veil that had blinded me with blood fell away. I retracted my teeth from her skin and loosened the iron grip I had on her body which fell limply away. There were no screams of agony or thrashing that would accompany the change, there was just silence. The ancient sound of the dead. Her formerly rosy cheeks were now a pasty white and all color had drained from her lips. Her closed eyes were a dark sunken purple and there was no pulse, no breath, or any sign of life. I had killed her.
In absolute horror at my self, I brushed my hand along her cheekbone, but it was cold. There was no hint of the blush that I loved, she didn't respond to my touch.
"Dear God, what have I done?" I whispered, to no one but myself. After all that I had put her through, all the dangers that we had endured, together, could this really be how it ended? I ran through my mind to try to find a way to reverse this, to save her, but I had no more power anymore. The one who held Bella's fate now was God.
God? Was there a God? Would he let an angel of his fall to earth to be taken in by a Vampire? Was this his desired punishment on me for what I am? And if so, why did She have to be the one to suffer for my mistakes? Why?!
The anger inside of me boiled in the pit of my stomach, but I knew that it would do me no good. If I wanted to save her, I would have to bargain, beg, and plead with God in any and every way I could and hope that he could have mercy on a monster.
"Alright, we'll do this your way." And then for the first time in nearly a hundred years, I shifted my love in my arms, adjusted her head against my shoulder, and I prayed. "God, don't do this. You can't do this. You can't take her from me. She is the only thing that will ever ask for from you; let me have her and I shall never want again. I've been through purgatory, I've been through hell, and in the end she was still there waiting for me. And now you say that I cannot have her because a monster like me doesn't deserve love? Well if that's what you believe, then I defy you, God! I defy you because I have loved and I have been loved by her! And I know that that is greater than anything that you can throw at us. So don't take her from me, not now. Please."
I stopped and looked back down at her body still lying in my arms, still pale and silent. The bite mark on her neck still remained adding a haunting red to her otherwise white skin. It didn't fit, so reluctantly I licked lightly at the wound to make it heal, but it would not. Vampire venom could not heal a dead body. I gently shifted her weight in my arms so that I could bring her face close to mine and I whispered a single sentence into her ear. "Please, Bella, come back." I laid my hand over her heart.
Then from somewhere in the room a breeze materialized, blowing the scent of vanilla, wildflowers, and freesia around me. I breathed deep, and sighed. Then from beside my words I heard Bella's voice again.
"This is my choice." She whispered. I thought that meant defeat, but just as I was about to surrender and release her from my hold, I felt the slightest of movement beneath my fingertips from the most miraculous and beautiful thing in the world, Bella's heartbeat.
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I hope that you all aren't too mad at me for taking six? Seven? Months to write this. But I promised myself that I wouldn't right it until after my sister, Emily, got married. (That was last week). Now there's only one more chapter and then I'll have to say goodbye to this piece of literature and likely all of you. I've got three novels of my own that I'm trying to write and I doubt that I'll have much time for fanfictions. I'm very sad about that, but this has helped me so much and all of your reveiws have given me so much confidence in myself and my writing that I just want to thank you. And if you deserve a special shout out you know who you are and and extra special thank you to you. I love you guys!
Oh! And in case you're curious, these are the three songs I mentioned in chronilogical order
1. Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler
2. Monster- Meg and Dia
3. Missing- Evanescence