A/N: You wouldn't believe it if I told you... 2 more chapters to go. Hope you will enjoy.
Thanks to Reinbeau for checking in on me. :)
Disclaimer: Song Lyrics belong to Roxette. I don't own Twilight, but because this is an alternate story line from New Moon, I have incorporated some familiar lines from the books/movies and there are details from Midnight Sun included. There is a new character in this chapter who is of my own imagining.
Bella POV
It was early March and instead of going to the library after school, I decided to take a break from my routine. As I headed home from school, I thought of the saying, in like a lion, and wondered if that was a good sign for Edward, my own personal sick masochistic lion, to return. All had been quiet in my little world of Forks, except I knew something was going on with my dad. He constantly opened his mouth to say something to me and then closed it, putting his head down and walking away. I could only assume it had something to do with the death of Billy. Did he know they were wolves and was afraid to tell me? I know how weird of a situation it was, but if he only knew that I was good with weird.
Or, maybe it had something to do with Edward. I imagined Charlie still had questions, like wanting to know when he was coming back or if I had heard from him. I didn't have any answers, so I was never impatient with Charlie for second guessing himself at confronting me. Our morning conversations were usually brief with me going over my plans for the day and then reminding him to be safe.
I had heard from Edward in his own special way. He had asked me about my new/old fascination with Roxette in the car while we were in Italy and asked me to listen to my iPod when I returned home. He had added a song by Roxette to my playlist called I'm Sorry.
The first time we met time stood still. You left me breathless, suddenly speechless.
Within the hour, we were one. Two total strangers, kissing the moonlight.
Oh, you know I'm sorry I had to go. I'm really sorry it had to die. I'm really sorry I made you cry….cry.
We fell in love between the nights of, too many lovers and too many teardrops. And fate won't resist some satin sheets
I was so helpless, totally ruthless
Oh, I'm really sorry I had to go, I'm really sorry you're hurt inside. I'm really sorry I made you cry….cry.
Love is lifting you up and dragging you down Makes you go round and round and round. Time makes a stop, then it's all gone. Funny how memories keep lingering on.
I only needed to listen to it once for its haunting melody to know he meant it. It was perfect. I listened to it sometimes at night just to comfort me, remind me that he came back and sat in my room waiting for me after all those days of me waiting for him. He had told me that time he sat waiting felt like an eternity - that leaving me was the hardest thing he had done in over 100 years.
Sometimes I tried to imagine him in my room that day, waiting for me to come home from school. How different my room must have seemed to him with my having removed so much from the walls. I imagined him pulling up the wooden floorboard, looking for his CD and not finding it. Perhaps he thought Carlisle or Esme had come and taken it away. I imagined returning home from school that day to find him there if I hadn't been in Florida.
I look for him in my room every day since getting back from Italy. Then I think, we're married now, wouldn't he do something more special than just slip into my room? Maybe he and Emmett would hatch a hilarious plan to get me out of class for the afternoon. Maybe Esme would come sign me out of school saying she needed my help with a fundraiser for the hospital and as I exited the building, standing there in the parking lot would be him. I smiled at the thought then sighed to think of Edward at my side and holding me again as I took a twisty turn smoothly in the Volvo, pulling up to the house.
The first thing I did was check the mailbox. Bill to pay. Bill to pay. Donation request. License renewal. Dartmouth. Dartmouth?
A pale off-white envelope held such promise in my hands. I wanted this to be the place that Edward and I went to together like we discussed in Italy. I grasped the envelope and ran inside to get out of the cold, tearing open the envelope as I turned the key.
Accepted? Accepted! Accepted!
Pugward barked at my arrival and I scooped him up like the baby he is and swung him around in the air.
"Pugsy! Can you believe it? I have to tell Edward!"
That's when his absence hit me the most. When my first instinct was to run to him either out of fear or happiness. I wanted it to be him that I shared everything with first and foremost. But he wasn't back from the Volturi's stupid mission, and I wasn't allowed to speak to him.
I took Pugward out for a quick walk and dialed Emmett. No answer. He was probably just out hunting, expecting I was at the library. This news called for a celebration, so I was going to surprise him at the house to tell him in person, I told myself, even though I was really just dying to look through their mail to see if Edward had been accepted, too.
I scribbled Dad a note and left it on the fridge, even though I expected to beat him home. He usually worked late on Thursdays because Mark came in late. In the car, I thought about calling Rosalie, but the Cullens had made it clear to me that any conversation I had with her would be overheard. It was best not to give them any forthcoming details. Still, I wondered if I could talk in code. I imagined myself saying, "My dart hit the target." I then imagined Rosalie not following. I'd wait until she came back to Forks. I hoped that would soon. The Cullens had reported no mistreatment of Rosalie in talking to her, but ever-protective Emmett was suspicious. He would say that he looked forward to being reunited with his wife, but I took that as him sparing my feelings. I knew the truth. The truth was that life was unbearable for him without Rosalie there, and I was to blame. Though it never felt like Emmett resented me, I carried the guilt. That's why the sooner this was all over, the better for all of us. Aro was right to admire the Cullens as a family unit. They were selfless and caring, working together for a common goal, even if it meant sacrificing being together.
Quickly glancing down at my ring, I smiled. Angela and Jessica had made several comments about the ring since I'd been back, everything from observing how pretty it was to asking if it had special meaning. I only ever said it was a gift from Edward and that this was his promise that one day he would be back for me. I just couldn't answer their repeated question of, when? The girls had accepted my story of meeting up with him in Italy, though I spun things more in the direction of his family helping to arrange our reunion. He was right, as usual, in his ring choice. A diamond would have set off questions about marriage. And I knew I'd never be able to explain the vows I took that day to anyone human. I even made Emmett be there when I told Esme and Carlisle about the nuptials. They took the news well, though I was sure that there was worry that flashed across Esme's face in hearing the news, as if our marriage was the last request of a man sentenced to death.
Edward, wherever you are, I love you, I thought with a squeeze of my heart. I waited. This was something I was training myself to do. Within a moment, my heart squeezed again on its own. That was my Edward barometer, I just knew it. Maybe he couldn't read my mind, but my heart felt him, reached through time and space somehow to connect with him. It was a theory, anyhow, based on what the wives had shared with me.
I stopped at the bottom of the Cullen's driveway, powered the window down, and reached into the mailbox. I do admit, it's been nice to have power-everything in the Volvo as opposed to the old truck. Not to mention, no stuck carburetors. What a stack of envelopes they had! I guess that happens when six (certain-kinds of) people live together. I shuffled through and found a letter that looked similar to mine. This is it! This is it!
No other cars were parked in the driveway, as I made my way up and parked in front of of the house. Would Edward mind if I opened his letter? Nah, we were married now. Spouses were allowed to open each other's mail, I reasoned. So I opened the letter carefully and read it aloud.
Dear Edward Cullen….Accepted! Accepted!
Of course he was! He probably had Carlisle pull some strings. Not that Edward wasn't smart enough to get in on his own. Had he never matriculated from there before, this would be nothing more than an exercise in branching out for him.
Still, we could go away. Together. Be together.
I sent a quick text to Emmett stating I was at the house and was going to let myself in. I had done what Edward said, turned his room into a place for me to study. It was a sanctuary for new memories with Edward and hope for the future. Emmett lended a hand in helping to restore some of Edward's furniture, like the black leather couch, and retrieving the bedding from storage that Alice had picked out. It was beautiful, lush golden tones against rich dark wood. It was way too sophisticated for me, but knowing that he had spent even a short amount of time around it, comforted me. I wanted things to be setup somewhat familiar to him for when he returned. I added some framed pictures of Italy on the walls that I had taken with my phone. Emmett contributed a framed picture of Edward and I in the field, in my beautiful dress, after we had wed. All of Edward's bookshelves and music were brought back as well. I suspected Emmett did so much to keep himself busy in the night hours. There were only so many bears he could take his frustration out on. I silently hoped one day he wouldn't turn on me, but I remembered our conversation in Italy. He wanted my forgiveness. I had taken my moments over the past few months to remind him we were on the same team. Team Cullen. And I wanted Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper to return quickly and safely, just as much as he did.
Using my key, I entered the house to seek refuge in the bedroom, announcing myself as I closed the door behind me. I would hang Edward's letter up on the cork board by his door, next to a few letters I had written him in his absence-letters I knew I couldn't send to him. He had nothing more than the ring he wore to remind him of me. No hat. No scarf. No book. No picture. Not even his phone. He took my throw-away phone with him instead.
I sprawled across the bed and pulled out my phone intending to call my mom but instead lazily daydreamed of Edward and I sitting in class together once again. Only this time we weren't in high school biology, we were in a large lecture hall learning about the history of art. Edward passed me a note about how Mona Lisa smiled because she was in love with her vampire husband but no one knew they were married, in an effort to make me laugh.
"Dartmouth!" I squealed, standing up and going to the window. I looked out and swore I saw something move in the trees toward the back of the house. It was a flash, as I mostly saw a trail of the branches moving. Vampire movement. Edward? Hope suddenly filled me and I took off down the stairs and went out to the backyard, leaving my phone behind.
"Edward?" I called out. "Emmett?"
My hope of being met with a friendly face was shattered as I took in a dark figure off in the distance.
"Laurent," I said calmly but screamed it in my head.
"Bel-luh," he taunted, inching his way closer to me. "Victoria and I had agreed to meet up on this date and when I could not find her, I decided to drop in on the Cullens." He spoke calmly and with a slow precision. "What an added pleasure it is to find you here, though I guess I should not be surprised. Weren't you sort of a pet of theirs?"
"You could say that," I backed away slightly.
"And yet they've left you here, unprotected?"
"No. No. Not unprotected. They are here."
"Perhaps in the area, but not here-here. And certainly not all of them."
"Enough of them," I spat, "enough that if you harm me, you'll meet the same fate as your friends."
"By whose hands? Certainly not your dear Edward's, being that he hasn't been around for months." Laurent remained cool but circled me like prey. "And not the wolves. I sent a clear message to them when I killed one of their leaders."
"Billy? You killed him?" I felt kicked in the stomach as the words dribbled out. "They've blamed the Cullens! Why? Why did you kill him?"
"Because I could. The opportunity was there. Just like today you present a new opportunity. And an exciting one." The size of his smirk was obnoxious.
"Emmett!" I screamed hoping that he was out in the woods hunting and could hear me. "Emmett help me!"
I tried to run back to the house, but Laurent was there, standing next to me, gripping my throat with his long cold fingers.
"No one is here Bella. Had your boyfriend left Victoria alive, I would have spared your life, but now, I just can't help myself, you are so mouthwatering."
Persevere, Bella, I heard Edward say from somewhere in the depths of my heart. "Please don't. You helped us once. We accepted you. Irina will never take you back if you do this."
"What Irina and I had is over. And surely none of that is your concern."
Stall him, Bella. I heard Edward say. "Are . . . are you sure? Because if you still love her, and you do this, she'll never forgive you."
"Don't flatter yourself, Bella. The Denali clan have no vested interest in you. Unlike me."
"That's not true. I'm family to them now." I winced at my own words.
It was like his power were waves rippling over me, overtaking me beyond my control, and I could feel myself succumbing to the weakness, as if I knew my place as the fragile little human. No! I could feel Edward in my heart and his strength. A boost of confidence filled me to persevere.
"And she still loves you," I lied. "She spoke to Esme about you just earlier today. On the phone. Esme is like a mother to her. She encouraged her to try again."
Laurent gripped me more tightly and looked back at the house. He was considering my words. "You're lying," he challenged soothing his thumb across my neck.
"It's true. I swear it!" I persisted. "Let me go!" I yelled. "Don't do this!" But his eyes swirled deep red with anger and desire in a way that told me he wasn't giving in.
"No, please. Don't!" I pleaded once more.
In a flash I was forcefully thrown to the ground, screaming in the sudden shock to my system yet delighting in the adrenaline that coursed through me as that familiar feeling of being on the edge of danger around vampires prevailed my senses. I realized I was being carefully carried and then sheltered by a small frame up against the house.
My eyes were shut, but an all-too-familiar voice could be heard berating Laurent. "She's right, you know. Irina won't forgive you. And I'm not opposed to killing you this time."
"Alice?" I cried out and opened my eyes, struggling with my captor to see. "Let go of me!" I wanted to run to her but I was being restrained by small yet strong arms.
"Hi Bella! Just stay there," Alice said as she held Laurent in a headlock, perched on his shoulders. In a rage, he broadened his chest and whipped Alice forward, forcing her to somersault in the air, but she landed perfectly crouched in front of him. The look on her face was a look of challenge and cool confidence. Yes, Alice!
"You're quick but no match for me, little pixie. And that's even if you're back from your little episode," Laurent seethed, reminding me that Alice had gone to stay with the Denali clan at the same time Laurent was living with them. "My guess is, you're still off your game, pitcher." With that he charged Alice, who flung herself sideways through the air in a corkscrew motion, pummeling Laurent in the chest and taking him down.
A small, almost childlike frame, still gripped me. A purple streak in her long hair fell to one side, shielding her face.
"We'll see about that! Selene, get Bella inside, now. Thanks to you, I'm very much on my game."
I was being ushered into the house and deposited by a vampire as small as Alice, who wore long leather green gloves. "Stay here," she commanded in a sweet voice, to which I nodded or shook uncontrollably, and watched her go back outside.
Alice had Laurent held firmly, locking his arm behind him, her spiked heel up against his back, securing him to the ground. I couldn't hear what she was telling him as she yanked on his arm. In another flash, both Alice and Laurent were scattered, and when they resurfaced, it was Emmett holding Laurent firmly with his arms behind his back, and Alice pummeled his stomach.
"Yes, Emmett!" I exclaimed to myself, pumping my fist. They were going to do it. Finally kill Laurent, that is, until Carlisle and Esme blast through the front door. Carlisle continued out back, while Esme stopped to make sure I was okay.
"Are you hurt, dear?" Esme asked.
"No, but Esme, look! It's Alice! She's here! She's really back!" I threw my arms around Esme.
"Well that's three of my kids down. Three more to go." She smiled. I did the math. Esme was including me.
Carlisle instructed Alice and Emmett in a more peaceful means of dealing with Laurent and from their large garage, a chair appeared that Laurent was forced to sit in and was then restrained by steel bars. I watched as Selene stood next to him and slipped off a glove, placing her hand in his.
"It's safe now. He's restrained, and they are bestowing an act of kindness on him," Esme said, opening the back door and leading the way back outside.
"Bella! Esme!" Alice ran over and threw her arms around us both at the same time. "Wow, you still smell good!" Alice commented. Oh great, not that again.
"Alice! You're here! I've missed you."
"We all have," Carlisle added.
Laurent sat in his chair, his eyes closed, displaying somewhat jerky movements, like he was dreaming.
"Is she one of you?" I asked, not able to see her eyes behind sunglasses.
"Yes, I am. Hi Bella, I'm Selene. Alice asked me to come back here to help her. I'm a non-meat eater." She removed her glasses revealing light amber eyes.
"Everything in life should be so self-explanatory," Alice quipped. "You're not going to believe your eyes."
"What are you doing to him?"
"Oh, she's just showing him a few things. Don't worry," Alice said.
"Alice, how did you know to come back? Was it . . .are you?" I probed.
"Yes!" Alice twirled around dramatically. "I had a vision! My first in months and I knew I had to save Bella!" With that Alice hugged me again. "Looks like I got here just in time."
"Anything?" Alice asked Selene. Selene nodded and grinned.
"Carlisle, he killed Billy. He told me so!" I yelled adamantly.
"I was afraid of that. It changes my outlook on what to do with him. Eventually."
"Edward knew it. He said Laurent wouldn't stay committed to your vision, Carlisle. He said he should have killed him while he had the chance."
"Yes, well I believe Edward was in no condition to create more chaos for the Denali clan. They've expressed intolerance of our situation."
Maybe Tanya has chosen to be intolerant of me, I frowned.
"Will your guest be staying with us, Alice?" Esme asked.
"Yes," she replied. "I'll go make up the guest room for her. Would you like to help, Bella?" Alice asked me. I nodded. Alice checked in with Selene to make sure she was doing okay before the two of us went back inside and up to the second floor.
"Do you know about Jasper?" I asked as I fluffed pillows.
"Yes. I called Carlisle and Esme to tell them about the vision and how I was heading here. I didn't know which one of us would get here to save you first."
I blinked at Alice, and she put her hand on my arm. "They're going to be okay, Bella."
"How do you know? Have you had any visions?"
"No. I just know them. The first vision I've had in a really long time was about you. You were holding a baby. Then this."
"A baby?" I laughed. "Well I certainly don't know of any . . . Wait why are you looking at me like that?"
Alice took a stance. She glared at my belly with her hand on her hip.
"Well you don't think that I'm pregnant do you?"
"You were holding your own flesh and blood, telling her she was going to be everything you were supposed to be."
"Alice, that's ridiculous." I'd had no disruptions to my monthly cycle despite my time with Edward.
"Maybe so," she said, agreeing that things had been off for her for so long that it's all very confusing. She finished setting up the room and then sat down on a country floral settee.
"Are you okay?" I asked sheepishly.
Alice proceeded to tell me about her struggle, how she went from strongly disliking herself over the birthday party to needing to "fine tune" her insides, as she put it. Her biggest regret was venturing out on her own without Jasper. "And now he won't take my calls."
"I don't think that's it, Alice," I said and then proceeded to tell her where Edward and Jasper were, which seemed to bother her more than thinking he was ignoring her. "He still loves you, Alice. I know so. Just like Edward has always loved me."
Alice and I sat on the bed for a long time expressing sorrow, apologies and gratitude. Most of the gratitude was directed toward Rosalie, as I recounted everything that went on in my life since the birthday party. She was sorry for her departure and complete disconnect from my life, promising me that had she not gone through her own internal conflict, she would have been there for me in some capacity.
"There's something you're not telling me, though," Alice declared narrowing her eyes at me.
"Well...I'm wondering why we are making a bed up for a vampire who doesn't sleep."
"Oh it's customary, and Esme's rules. Just because vampire guests don't sleep does not mean they won't want a place to rest their heads. Those are Esme's words, not mine."
"Ahh," I accepted the wisdom and noted it for my future vampire self.
"Now what aren't you telling me. It was something I overheard you saying to Laurent. Something about the Denali clan being your family now too. What did you mean by that? Have you met them?"
"Well no," I said shyly. "It's because . . ."
"Yes?" Alice encouraged.
"Well, I mean, it's not the most official way of doing things but….okay promise you won't get mad at me?"
"I promise," Alice said, "Continue."
"Edward and I sort of got married."
"Isabella Marie Swan! You didn't! Without me? You wouldn't!"
"Alice, you're right, I wouldn't without you there but it was a strange situation and no one had heard from you."
Alice stood up and marched across the room, digging her heels in with her steps. "Oooh, sometimes I just want to kill that brother of mine! The rip-him-apart-and-burn-the-pieces kill him!"
I pleaded with Alice to understand the situation that Edward and I faced. I once again explained how he and I found our way back to each other. I even showed her the ring and made sure she saw that there was no official wedding band, that we would hold another ceremony some day.
"And I'll get to plan it? Be part of it?" Alice asked, still pacing the room.
"Yes, of course!" I got up and walked to her, hugging her securely.
Esme called up to us to come downstairs. "We better go," Alice said. "They've reached a decision with Laurent. And the sooner we take care of him, the sooner I can share with you what I've discovered."
I was intrigued and followed Alice down the stairs. She had a way of flittering down them four steps at a time before returning to my side. She quipped about us being a couple of crazy girl friends then laughed slightly. "You'll find out what that means soon enough."
Emmett held out papers as I approached the family in the living room. "Is this what prompted your impromptu visit to our fine household today?"
Oh! He had the letters. "Yes, I was coming over to tell you all that I was accepted into Dartmouth."
"No kidding, Punky!" Emmett laughed. "And let me guess, so was Edward."
Carlisle wished me congratulations, followed by Esme. "Did you guys call in a favor on this?" I asked.
Carlisle laughed. "No, Bella. Never in a million years would Edward let us do that."
"For a college that far away, anyway," Emmett mumbled. I glared at Emmett. "What?" he asked. "Edward doesn't want to take you farther away from your Dad."
Oh, I thought to myself. That did make sense.
"You did it all on your own, smartypants!" Emmett picked me up and swung me around.
"Is that where you would like to go?" Esme asked.
"It's where Edward and I talked about going together," I admitted sheepishly. "I really hope he'll be back by the time I have to make my decision."
Esme put her arm around me. "I'm sure he will be."
"In the meantime, Esme and I will be escorting Laurent out of the country," Carlisle said. "After he confesses to the pack that he's the one who killed Billy Black. Maybe then Jacob will return home."
Poor Jacob. What did he have to return home to? Then again, how was he even surviving? And where? Sometimes Charlie checked in with Sam, the man who had found me that night in the woods. He assured him that Jacob was family and they would continue the search for him without the help of the police. That made things uneasy for Charlie, who desperately wanted Jacob home safe and sound.
"Where will you be taking him?"
"India," Carlisle answered. "If it hadn't been for Selene, I'm afraid we would have had to kill him."
"Why? What did she do?" I asked.
"We'll talk about that later," Alice answered.
"Alice, I think Irina and her sisters could truly benefit from what you say Selene can do. Perhaps, you should consider heading north."
"Maybe. It's Selene's power though. It needs to be up to her how and who to use it on. My request was only to share what she's shown me with Bella."
"Why? What did she show you?" I pleaded.
"You'll see."
Carlisle and Esme had disappeared up the stairs and returned with luggage. "Bella, would you mind if we spoke with Alice alone for a few moments?"
"No," I replied. Emmett followed me into the kitchen, leaning against the counter top as I helped myself to a glass of water.
"Thirsty, are we?" he asked.
"Yep, but hopefully you're not." I gave me a large smile as I both admired and conspicuously checked his eyes.
"Nah, where do you think I was when you texted me? I was out chugging down some warm, gooey….uhh, nevermind. Anyways, what happened to the library today? This could have been a catastrophe today. I'm all signed up to protect you, but Bella I thought we had a schedule worked out."
"I know, Emmett, I just didn't feel like going to the library today."
"But I thought you had a big paper to work on."
"I do."
"Wait, you didn't have some freaky sense that Alice was coming back did you? Or worse, Laurent vibes?"
I laughed heartily. "No. I think I'm only connected to Edward."
"Okay, good. Well at least you being in danger brought Alice back. And, she's getting reamed a new one from the rents, right now."
"No!"
"Oh you should hear them up there telling her never to take off like that again. And she's all, 'That's unfair. Edward went off twice now.'"
"No way!" I said surprised after taking a gulp of my water. I couldn't believe Alice was selling out Edward.
"Nah, they aren't being too hard on her. They are more so comparing her departure reasons to Edward's and trying to sort through them. And they're explaining more why Jasper isn't here. She's taking that roughly. He hadn't left her a message about it apparently, which is out of character for him."
"Jasper probably didn't want to worry Alice."
"No fucking way!" Emmett exclaimed.
"No, you're right, because he still loves her."
"That's not what I meant. I just overheard Alice explaining Selene's gifts to Carlisle and Esme. Oh this shit I've got to see!"
"What? What is it? What can she do?"
Emmett looked me up and down. "Well damn! No wonder you and Alice are friends."
"What is it Emmett? I want to know, too, damn it!"
"Oh no, I can't tell you. But I'm sure as hell going to be around to watch this shit unfold!"
I looked at the time. I needed to be heading home soon to meet my Dad, but I was beyond curious about the powers this new vampire held and what it had to do with me and Alice. What had it meant for Laurent that he was leaving, his life spared by the Cullens.
"Would Edward be okay with the decision not to kill Laurent?"
"Probably not, but it's Carlisle's decision. Carlisle sees himself as a healer, not a killer. He's decided that Laurent's purpose in life needs to be refocused and he's going to send him to a place with people who can help him. But this is his last straw. If you ask me, he doesn't deserve it. Had I gotten here before Alice, we definitely wouldn't even be having this conversation because . . . well let's just say, I'd be letting you roast marshmallows over the burning embers. If you catch my drift, Punky."
I smiled. "Yeah, I think I do." I knew what Emmett meant.
He continued. "Ever since our family fought over whether or not to kill you, and that's a story for another time if you've never heard it, we really look to Carlisle for guidance in that department. That's why no way would one of us have killed Billy Black. He was harmless. In many ways, Carlisle's equal but to his own family."
"I know, Em," I stepped backward as I said the word. To kill me!
"We've even tried to find that young one that ran away. Not that I think he'd listen to us. I'm sure he's enough of a hot head, but it was what Carlisle suggested to help quell their ferocious attitude toward us these days."
I knew things hadn't been easy between the tribe and the Cullens. Jacob running away from home hadn't helped matters.
"Bella? Can you come out here?" Carlisle was calling to me. Emmett nodded to heed his call.
When I reached Carlisle he had his medical kit out. Great. This again. I thought this had all died down.
"We'll be going away for a few days. Humor me." He held up his blood pressure cuff.
Once done with his examination, he flashed a huge smile, uncharacteristic of Carlisle. "You're more a part of this family than we had realized."
"What does that mean?"
Esme approached, hugging me securely. "You'll find out soon," she said in a very soothing way. "Alice, we can't wait to find out more."
"Me neither," Alice replied. "Don't worry, we'll take good care of her while you're away," she promised her parents.
I was forced to say my goodbyes for the evening. As I hugged Alice last, I didn't really want to let her go. "I'm not going anywhere," she reassured me, but with the return of her visions, I knew anything could happen to pull her away. We agreed that I would return to the Cullen's home on Saturday. It was hard to explain but having her return and having to leave her felt almost as if it had been Edward I was standing there hugging.
Emmett handed me my phone. "Here, you left this in your room. No wonder none of us could get a hold of you." He winked at me then insisted he would follow me home in his jeep, just to make sure I got home safely.
~WTFL~
On Saturday morning, Emmett showed up nice and early but with a surprise guest. Alice. I had to wait while my dad welcomed her home and grilled her about her experiences while away, as well as wait for Pugward to meet her acquaintance, before I had a chance to hug her.
Alice led me upstairs and handed me a bag of new clothes. "Alice," I shook my head. "Are we going somewhere special that I need new clothes?"
"Nope. I just figured you missed me and my fashion sense."
I gave Alice a look of exhaustion.
"C'mon Bella, Selene and I went shopping yesterday. I picked you up a little something is all. You know there was a time when you and I couldn't have . . .well, nevermind. I'll save that story for later."
Alice stood up and took my hands. "Oh Bella, I have the most wonderful surprise for you, I think, but it's going to be really strange. At first, anyway."
Just then, Alice opened my closet door, rooting through my things before pulling out my hat that I kept in a sealed plastic bag. She held it up to her nose. "Edward's been here."
"Not lately. But yeah, after he left, he came back here - only I was in Florida. He let himself in and went through some of my things. A lot like you're doing now." I tried to gauge if she was trying to have a vision of him and Jasper.
"Ahhh." Alice paused, carefully opening the bag and inhaling deeply. "It's filled with regret. Emmett also filled me in on some mending you've done with Rose?"
I nodded confirmation. Alice smiled hugely. "I knew she had it in her. Alright, now get changed and then meet me downstairs. We're kidnapping you for the day."
We headed back to the Cullens in Emmett's jeep. On the ride, Alice offered up that they had food and drink in the house for me - another part of yesterday's shopping expedition while I was in school. They also informed me that they were well fed after this morning's hunt, including Selene. "
"Are you going to tell me about her yet?"
"No, you just have to experience it for yourself."
At the house, I said hello to Selene, and she immediately commented on my clothes. She was wearing trendy skinny jeans and black boots. Maybe Alice had a shopping kindred spirit in her.
"We were trying to decide where best to do this, and I think we'll start in the dining room." Alice led the way, and we each took a seat around the table. My heart was suddenly beating loudly in my chest and I hushed it, afraid the rush of blood through my body would excite the vampires.
Selene lit a couple of candles in the middle of the table. Would this be a seance? I laughed at the thought but freaked out when Selene asked us to join hands. Emmett put his hand out, but Selene denounced him. "Just these two, for now, thanks."
Alice slipped her hand into Selene's easily while I hesitated before connecting with her cool hand.
"Clear your mind. It will be okay. I promise."
I watched Alice close her eyes and take a breath.
I knew my body was still seated firmly in the chair but a part of me soared or was pulled through space or a tunnel, or maybe I was falling down a rabbit hole. Some overwhelming sensation gripped my mind and transported me until I was in an unfamiliar room.
It's dark and cold. I feel gross, like I haven't bathed. My mouth is dry. I'm hungry.
"What did they do to you?" I'm asked by a sweet voice. "It's okay. You can tell me."
I don't answer.
"Oh, you poor thing. It's been five days in here with me and I've yet to see you eat. Don't you want to eat a little something? Here?" She held out an apple to me. "I snuck it under my shirt."
My head is down.
"I know they gave you the shot. So eat this, try to keep your strength up so you can be more alert."
I look up and it's her. I want to talk to her. I need to tell her something. But my mind is so fuzzy. I have to ask her to take me with her, to Edward.
"Alice!" I open my eyes and jump up letting go of Selene's hand. "What? WHAT! What was that?"
"Hi," Alice waved back and forth to get my attention. "Yep, right here."
"It was you, but you were human. And . . . and you were telling me to eat."
"I knew it! See what I told you two! I knew it was you, Bella! I could see it all too, but you looked different."
"No fair," Emmett laughed. "I want to see."
"It won't work because you weren't there," Selene answered him.
"Wh- . . . where were we?" I asked.
"I was human," Alice answered. "My parents had placed me in the asylum."
"But Alice that was years ago, long before I was born. Why could I see you?"
Selene answered me with a dubious look, waiting to see if I believed her. "Because you were there, too."
"Me? I don't think so," I answered.
"Not Isabella Swan, but a previous version of your innerness," Selene explained.
"Selene's gift is that she can help you remember your past lives. It's sort of like hypnosis. She's not telling you what happened. She's merely opening a window that helps you tap into them so you can travel back and see and feel the experience," Alice said calmly. "She's been very helpful to me, and as I traveled back I experienced my time just before James turned me. I knew that was you, Bella. We didn't have much time together but we bonded. Like sisters."
Whoa! Mind blown! Selene extended her hand. "Here, let's try it again. This time, try to maintain yourself, Bella. Try to stand on the perimeter and watch what is happening like it's a television show, rather than experiencing it."
"I'll try," I said.
I closed my eyes as our hands connected. I was instantly back in that dark room and announced so to Alice and Selene.
"What do you see?" Selene asked.
"Alice. I'm eating bread she brought me. She's asking me who Edward is. I was mumbling 'Edward' over and over as I ate my bread. She's telling me that I'm probably not crazy and don't deserve to be there, just like she doesn't. She's telling me that I've been drugged and have gone in and out for three weeks."
"I'm telling her that I will take her with me when I leave that place," Alice added.
"Then what?" Selene asked.
I pulled my hand away, shuddering.
"It's okay, Bella, you're just fine," Alice assured me. I opened my eyes, feeling panicky. I can't breathe. Oh my God, the bread is so dry that I'm choking on it.
"I think I died."
"You choked! And it was my fault," Alice cried.
"No," I answered. "You were just trying to help me."
I bit my lip and cracked my knuckles. Trying to fidget the experience away.
"If you are okay, then let's go back to how you got there," Selene suggested.
I nodded then gave Selene my hand again, feeling myself travel back to the time.
I'll have to pretend I'm her sister to get her out, I'm thinking.
"I had recently found Alice and was trying to talk to her, but I was horrified to see her parents taking her to that place. I tried to intervene but they scolded me. Told me to mind my own business. I knew Alice was in that place and decided I could pretend to be her family member to come and take her out. But when I got there, they checked the records and decided I was crazy."
"Now what do you see happening?" Selene asked.
"They're grabbing me and locking me away. I'm kicking and screaming No to them. The more I yell, the more they tell me how disturbed I am."
"Bella, is there anything else?" Alice asks.
I released Selene's hand and felt myself pulling back out of that time and space in a rush, much like the feeling of running on Edward's back.
"I just knew that you could lead me to Edward somehow."
"But it was a long while after that until I met Edward," Alice replied.
"That's all I could feel. And obviously, I didn't live long enough to go with you." I turned to Selene. "So this was a past life of mine?"
"It may not have been a full past life," Selene answered. "Sometimes an innerness can take over and occupy a body that's been on earth. The innerness can replace one that may be willing to leave the body."
Okay. That only sort of made sense. "How did you know it was me?" I asked Alice.
"Well you looked different. You were taller with short, mousy brown hair. It had a bit of a wiry wave to it. I sat with you in your bed, trying to make full curls out of the ends just with my fingers to soothe you. When you were finally coherent, you told me your name was Lizabelle and you had been looking for me. It was something about your eyes. I just could see you in them. Then you said you were looking for Edward and I just knew this was you. Don't you see Bella? This is the key to everything."
"Holy shit! This is too much!" Emmett exclaimed, reminding me that he was there, too. "Alright, how about if Punky and I get a chance at this!"
"Sure," said Selene.
"Unless ... this isn't too draining on you, is it Selene?" Emmett asked politely.
"No, not at all. It's really not me who does any of the work. I'm more like a key master or a doorman at a high rise. I unlock the door, set up some perimeters and then hold it open. It's up to you to go through it."
I looked at Emmett wondering why he would think he and I had any connection when I was trying to find Alice. He hadn't come into this life willingly either.
"Come on Punky, maybe you were my distant cousin or something."
"Maybe," I chuckle lightly, more at ease with the notion of that.
We each slipped our hands into Selene's. I was immediately pulled into a warm breezy day. I'm standing outside.
"It's laundry day," I tell them what I see. "I'm taking sheets down off the line. They've been hanging up outside," I say.
Emmett starts, "I'm walking down a country lane, on an errand for Rosalie. I can smell apples and fresh-cut hay all around me."
"My sheets are shifting slightly as a breeze blows through," I add. "No! No! Help me! Help! It's Emmett! He's . . ." I clutch my neck and scream loudly squeezing my eyes shut.
"Bella, Bella it's okay. You're safe," Alice yells to get my attention.
Selene had let go of my hand, disconnecting me from the memory, but the terror I felt had already gone through my body and settled into my heart. It was too much, and I broke down and cried.
I opened my eyes afraid to face Emmett but saw that he wasn't there.
"Emmett?" I asked tearfully.
"He's gone," Alice answered. "What happened? What did you see?"
"Oh God Alice," I sobbed, "he was killing me. Draining me dry. I hadn't done anything to provoke him. Hadn't spoken to him. I didn't see him coming. Suddenly he was just there."
"That's three," Selene said quietly.
I looked over at her quizzically. "Three of the Cullens you knew in a past life," she clarified then offered her hand. "Let's find out more. Take us back."
I calmed myself, the imminent feeling of death and danger subsiding slightly and took her outstretched hand. Alice held my other hand.
"Where are you?" Selene asked.
"I don't know, but it's light all around me except for this one shadowy area. I'm desperate to get there. A man emerges and he's laughing. He's smoking a pipe holding a pipe in one hand and his other hand juts up and down with the movement of his stomach."
"You said that would help me find him! You said you were making my blood irresistible to Edward! Who the hell was that?"
"He laughed more, darkly. This was a game to him."
"To whom, Bella? What's his name?" Alice asked. I ignored Alice as the memories flooded me.
"I hadn't lived her entire life. That woman was supposed to die. One night when her husband beat her into a bloody pulp and a coma, I slipped into her body, bringing it back to life, all in the name of finding Edward. He orchestrated it and said the proximity was close to the Cullens. He said that making my blood irresistible to Edward would be the ultimate temptation."
"Who Bella?" Alice asked again. "I'm not part of wherever you are. I can't see anything."
"She warned me not to do it. She told me anything more he had to offer would prove dangerous. She wanted me to just stick with Edward not being able to read my mind as a way for him to notice me."
I let go of Selene's hand. "He tricked me!" I declared. "We have to find Emmett and tell him this wasn't his fault."
"But who?" Alice demanded.
"Oh, I think Emmett is going to need a little time to break away from that experience," Selene said.
"Okay," I lamented. "I don't know yet, Alice, who they were. I can see them in my mind but I don't know their names. I don't recognize them. Only the man seems familiar. The woman is good, nicely put together with green eyes and a warmth to her. The man is darker with long hair and wears tribal garb. Alice do you know what this means? It's like a part of me has been searching for Edward for a long time?"
"Yes, longer than any of us knew," she answered. "That's what I've been trying to tell you."
I turned back to Selene. "Are you sure this isn't just a figment of my imagination or something? These aren't ideas that you are suggesting . . . like the way Jasper can influence those around him?"
"I promise," said Selene. "I've worked hard to hone my gift. Besides, what else am I going to do staying up all night with no love interest in sight? Sometimes I wish I could see the future." She smiled. "Shall we continue?"
"Could we take a little break?" I asked.
"How about I fix you something to eat?" Alice asked.
"No, I can do it." I put my head down. "I've made myself comfortable here while you were away."
Alice followed me into the kitchen as Selene went to the couch and turned on the tv.
"I wanted to tell you that I liked what you did with Edward's room. I mean, I liked it and thank you, for helping him do that for me, you know, back for my birthday." I hated bringing it up.
"You're welcome. I just wish things had turned out differently."
"It's not your fault, Alice."
"Wasn't it? All it would have taken was one tiny vision but I was too consumed in party planning. And then too clouded by my own guilt, I didn't fight Edward when he said we had to leave. He wasn't the only one who thought of his job was to protect you. I took that on too when I supported him pursuing you romantically. I failed you both, Bella."
I sobbed and hugged Alice. "Oh Alice, I've missed you terribly and I've realized now that we all just made emotional decisions. There was no adopt-a-human rule book for you to follow any more than there was a vampire illustrated guide book for me. I just want us to be back together again. I want to feel like I belong with all of you. And then I want Edward to change me."
Alice released me. "Did you two talk about that?"
"Sort of. I'll tell you more of that later."
I grabbed a Coke can out of the fridge and a package of Oreos from a drawer, and we headed back to the dining room. I sent Emmett a text telling him to take his time and made a mental note to ask later what Laurent saw via Selene's gift.
"Neither one of those experiences were your original self," Selene said.
"So they were reincarnations of me?" I asked.
"No. There may be reincarnations we've yet to discover, but those two experiences were occasions of your innerness taking over those bodies. The innerness that had been in those bodies was removed. You essentially borrowed their bodies for a short time."
"Yes," I agreed. "And it's like I was being directed to those specific bodies in an effort to get to Edward. I want to go back to the beginning. My original self? Is that what you called it?"
"We can try. Or you may just go back as far as you need to." Selene pulled out a small bottle from a satchel. "Here, drink this. It will help relax you and prepare you for the journey and slip deeper into your past."
I took the bottle and looked at Alice. I didn't know if it was such a good idea. "Go ahead," Alice said. "It's just herbs. It helped me."
Selene laughed and gestured for me to follow her to the couch. "This isn't an acid trip! Prior to being changed, I was training under my mother to be a healer for my people. You may fall into a more sleep-like state if you need to depending on how far back you go. When you hear my voice, I'll try to check on you to help you structure the experience. It will then be up to you if you want to relive it or stand on the sidelines and watch it unfold."
I sat down on the couch, and Alice sat across from me, intently watching.
I drank the bottle down and could feel myself separating in two - like the solid bones sinking into the cushions of the couch but another part of me floating free, completely weightless, not held down by gravity.
"She's ready," I heard Selene say.
A/N:
Hooray, Alice is back! So another chapter that serves up more questions then answers? Where do you think we are heading?
~ Wouldn't it be just like Edward to know the perfect song to leave Bella on her iPod by the musical group she was obviously listening to? Great song melody, youtube it. :)
~I'm sure there are a lot of 'Bella reincarnation' stories that have been done in FF, but before you say "oh, another reincarnation story" just know that this isn't exactly reincarnation. There will be more explanation in the next chapter.
~The Emmett exchange told from his POV, can be found on page 47 of Midnight Sun. :)