Gina saves Bellamy from a nightmare about Clarke. Early Season three.

She's right there. She kissed me. I could reach out and grab her arm, turn her back around. I can even see it. I'm holding her body in my arms, wrapping my arms around her waist. Then I pull her close and kiss her on the lips. Her lips are dry and cracked from being dehydrated but mine are worse. She doesn't mind it as she kisses me back. We hold each other for a long time as we kiss.

I pull away from her, keeping my arms around her body and my hands on her small back. Our eyes look into each other for a long moment. I can see her start to tear up.

"We are going to stay together," I tell her.

"No…we're not," she says anyway but his voice sounds terrible. It's even scary. It doesn't sound like her. It sounds like she is very far away already, as if she has already left me.

"What? Of course we are. Clarke, you can stay now. We don't have to hide from anyone. We can be together. We can care for each other like we always have," I say, begging her but there is still a smile on my face. I can still feel that hope in my heart. But I don't see that hope reflected in her eyes at all.

"Say it, Bellamy," she says.

"What? Say what?" I ask, confused. She looks very serious, almost as if my answer to this question decides our fate. But that doesn't make any sense. Did this happen?

"Say it," she begs.

"What? Say what?"

"You know," she says.

But I don't. She turns around with a sad expression on her face and walks away into the dark woods. I want to go after her. I want to take her hand and pull her back, make her come back inside with me. I know she won't go for it. Nothing is going to work now.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper to myself.

I wake up with a dreadful feeling in my heart. I clench the sheets beside me and feel flesh under my touch. I almost forgot she was laying beside me. I roll over and find her awake and curious. She is looking to me with a sad expression that almost scares me.

"What?" I ask.

"You were having a nightmare," she says, putting her hand on the side of my face. We haven't known each other well or for very long but somehow she can understand me so well already. I wish that I could be just as worthy of her.

"Yeah," I say. "I'm fine though. Better now that I'm here with you."

I try to play it off with a smile and a gesture. I put my arm around her waist so that we can be closer. She smiles a little but I can tell that she can see right through me.

"Was it about Clarke?" she asks.

I don't want to answer that.

"I heard you say her name in your sleep. I know that things are hard for you right now, Bellamy. You worked with Clarke for a long time. You can talk about her with me," she admits.

I don't want to say anything to her about Clarke. I don't want to tell her that I let her go.

"Just let it go," I say.

"Bellamy," she says, putting her hand down my face to my hair. She curls my hair in her fingers. I try to relax under her touch but I don't know how much I can with Clarke still on my mind.

"She could be anywhere," I finally say.

"She's strong."

"Yeah and she's stupid," I say. "She makes bad decisions when she thinks that she can do things she has no right being a part of. She'll get herself involved with grounders or something. She knows how to be in trouble more than anyone I know."

She lays beside me with a small smile on her face. She looks so gentle and careful that I wonder if she listens to anything that I said at all. But when I see that glimmer of something different in her eyes, I know that I am wrong. She did listen to me.

"Sorry," I mumble.

It is a stupid apology. She doesn't want to accept it or talk about it either. But she is too gracious to say anything like that. She will be as gentle as ever with me. She knows that my heart is broken and it has been since the day Clarke left.

"Bellamy, Clarke will be alright," she says.

"And if she isn't?" I ask.

Gina looks sympathetic and sad.

"She will. She's brave."

I lean close to her.

"You shouldn't have to deal with any of that," I say. "We'll be alright. I'll keep looking for her. We've had peace for a while now. You're probably right. She's probably fine."

Gina gives a small smile and leans close to me, kissing me on the cheek. It burns. She has no idea that was happened the last moment when I saw Clarke. She has no idea how much that kiss haunts me and how much I want to change my reaction to it.

"You worry about everyone else so much," she says.

"Maybe," I say with a shrug. "I worry about you."

"There's nothing to worry about."

She has no idea how wrong she is.

"As long as I care about someone, I worry about them. I've had a heart attack everyday since Octavia was born. But you…I don't deserve you to begin with," I say.

"I wish you would stop saying that," she says with an honest expression. I rest my hand on her face this time. I lean close to push her hair behind her ear and shoulder.

"You're right. Sorry. I just…don't do anything too dangerous or brave," I say.

"I should be telling you that," she says with a smile. It's the smile that I love. I just wish I could've told Clarke that.