A Close Shave

Helio screeched, making in the terrible noise that a trapped rabbit does, high and rasping. The laser bursts were the only source of illumination in the room, causing bright flashes and explosions as they hit the torture machines that Helio had set up. The sound of hundreds of marching footsteps came, ominous and hurried as a racing heartbeat, far above their heads. Evidently troops of some kind were storming the building, and the ones firing were only the tip of the iceberg. The blasts were ricocheting in all directions, one hitting Purple in the chest and bouncing off the shiny black metal of his breastplate. Lucky for him, Helio was a stickler for detail, or he wouldn't have been wearing one at all.

Nonetheless, the shot threw him backwards, and he realised for the first time that he ought to get to cover. The lasers had come as such a shock that his senses had abandoned him, but it was the bursts that flew by now, illuminating Red, sprawled on the floor, that brought him back to Irk. He crouched by Red, who lay there helplessly, limp as a rag doll. He was bleeding badly, and had hit his head hard when he fell to the floor during the power-cut. His eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, having taken on a corpse-like glaze. Jolts of electricity came from his PAK, reactivating him.

"Red! We have to get to cover!" Purple said anxiously and Red tried to get up. His legs crumpled beneath him and he fell to his knees, as though begging for forgiveness.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard," he groaned, and Purple started to drag him across the floor, not daring to stand and run in case he was hit.

Helio was fighting back now, using the gun he had confiscated from Purple against the unseen troops above, shooting into the ceiling. Pathetic, really, thinking that he could have a chance against them. They increased their fire in retaliation, and the ceiling started to crumble, small chunks of metal falling now as well as the laser beams. Purple tugged harder on Red's arm, trying to move faster, and pulled him over a shard of metal that lay on the floor. He gave a weak gasp of pain.

"Pur, go to cover," he said, his face illuminated by another laser shot, "I'm slowing you down. I'll follow, I can use my PAK," he assured him, retracting his spider legs and lifting himself up. The laser shot rebounded on the wall and smashed through the appendages. Purple caught him and shook his head.

"I'm not leaving you, idiot! You'll get killed!"

"So what? It's all my fault we're in this mess; you heard that list that Helio had. I'm a jerk. I saw the other list he had, Pur, the list for you. It only had two sins on it, and they were 'Picked Red over me' and 'Picked Dib over me'. If I'd paid more attention to the little psychopath we wouldn't be in this mess, you didn't do anything wrong. Leave me, I'll follow somehow."

Purple shook his head and tugged harder, pulling Red along and sheltering under the large, heavy metal autopsy table that was in one corner. Barely seconds after he pulled Red under, a large piece of machinery fell, sparking electrical jolts, onto the place he had begged to be left at. They glanced nervously at each other.

"Lucky," Purple muttered, and Red nodded. The troops stormed into the room, sweeping around like a plague of rats. They were wearing plain black jumpsuits, and looked murderous. They parted to allow a fairly tall Irken to walk through, his azure eyes narrowed. Purple drew in a gasp of recognition, as did Helio. Red looked at him through half-closed eyes.

"Isn't that Gem?" he asked quietly, and Purple nodded. Red's eyes were glazing over again, and his PAK reactivated him once more. Then again. He was drifting in and out, and Purple knew that his PAK would only continue to reactivate him for so long. If it was a hopeless case, it would self-destruct. Helio pointed at Gem with a shaking finger.

"Y…YOU!" he screeched, and Gem bowed his head slightly.

"Helio, you've got to look at what you're doing," he said in his low, deep voice. It had certain musical qualities to it that Purple found oh, so attractive. But of course, he would never go for a servant. He smirked. What was he saying? He had gone for Dib, and he was a slave. Or at least, had been.

"What I'm doing? What I'm doing, Gem, is cleansing this universe of scum! I am creating utopia!!! Starting with the Tallest, ending with anyone who doesn't toe the line! Heaven and Hell, Gem, I know which one I'm going to!"

"Heaven and Hell? That's an idea from that human, right?" Gem sounded unimpressed. Helio started raving, pacing in a circle, flailing his arms. He looked demented.

"The human speaks sense, no matter how filthy he is! So many sins, but he's dead. Dead, dead, dead, all of the sinners, I'll kill them all, and nobody can stop me! Nobody will stop me; it's for the greater good…"

Purple drew back slightly from the scene, horrified at how messed up Helio actually was, horrified that he would have done his bidding on him and Red, that their lives had been in the charge of this lunatic. Red's milky eyes were narrowed; he was thinking the same thing.

"No, Helio. This," he waved an arm to gesture the troops, "is for the greater good. RACE. The Resistance Against Control of the Empire. We're taking down the control brains. If you make us, we'll take down you."

Helio stopped raving and looked up, shocked by this new piece of information.

"No. Gem. You and me, we're a team, right? You backed me up… You'll back me up now."

Gem shook his head.

"Maybe once I might have agreed with you, Helio. But not now. Can't you see how crazy all of this is?"

Helio's eyes narrowed.

"Well. If you're not with me…" He turned slowly around on the spot, mauve eyes darting around the corners of the room. He spotted what he was looking for, and raised himself on his spider legs, grabbing the back of Gem's jumpsuit and lifting him up as well. "YOU'RE AGAINST ME!" Helio shouted, scuttling across the room. A hundred laser guns clicked, but they held their fire. Helio was holding Gem as a living shield; they couldn't shoot at him in case they killed their leader in the process. He pushed the button to activate the power again, and Purple watched as the shackles that had opened and fallen off when the power went out shot across the room like bullets, floating back where they had been immobilised.

He sprinted from the room, and the troops followed. The terrible whirring of machinery started up, and Helio started to laugh over the long, drawn out screams. Purple looked back to Red. They seemed to have been forgotten, hidden under the table, which was a plus, as they could figure out how to escape. Red's PAK sparked, reactivating him yet again, and Purple bit his lip nervously. Even if they did escape, how long could Red hold out before they got him medical attention? And, more importantly, where could they find medical attention? Who was to say that they were on Irk; Helio could have taken them anywhere. They didn't even know how long it had been since the explosion…

He crawled out from under the table and looked out of the only window in the room. Sure enough, wherever they were, it wasn't Irk. They seemed to be on some remote space station. Of course, there would be escape shuttles, but what if Helio had locked the controls? He went over to the control panel on the wall and attempted to make a command. As he had expected, he was denied access, and so he would be on the shuttles as well. A flash behind him and a buzzing noise told him that Red's PAK was still trying to keep him activated. He ran back over to him.

"Red? Red, we're stuck here! Helio's locked us out from using escape shuttles; we need him to change the controls."

Red lifted his head to look at Purple. It was clearly quite an effort to do so.

"Just… make him then," he said, and Pur shook his head.

"Think, Red! He's dangerous, he's insane, he's not gonna give up without a fight!"

"Exactly," Red said, sounding oddly patient, "Fight him, Pur. You can… do that whole Hong Kong Phooey act on him or something…"

A stray tear rolled off Purple's face, landing on Red's armour.

"Red, you're not making any sense," he said urgently, "You're talking gibberish!"

"No," Red said in exasperation, his voice thinning and cracking, "No, that… carroty thing…"

Purple shook his head, confused, and Red sighed. The only way to revive a blocked memory was to tell the Irken that it had been blocked. But that way, he would look like even more of a prick before he died. He could feel his energy ebbing slowly, and swallowed.

"Pur, I modified your PAK. You can do martial arts… karate," he added, sounding proud that he had remembered the name. Purple's eyes widened as the memories came flooding back.

"You modified me?" he asking in disbelief, and Red nodded slowly, eyes swimming with tears.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered in a quivering voice.

"You should be," said a cold voice from the door. Red looked up painfully, and Purple whipped around. Helio had returned, a thin trail of blood leaking from a thick lip. Purple balled his fists.

---

Gaz narrowed her eyes. She was looking in the cabinet that was in her bathroom. Something was missing. She could always tell when something was missing. Dib had been living with her and Dad again, though he spent most of his time in his bedroom. She didn't disturb him, though, not wanting to have to be confronted with a sobbing boy. She hated emotions, and had been hoping that her father would take charge and be a real parent for once. Of course, the Professor behaved in the opposite way, shunning Dib aside altogether for this latest obsession. How could his son, the son of the great Professor Membrane, have sunk as low as to have had a relationship with two male aliens? Gaz hated him so much for abandoning Dib, but didn't get involved. She went through the cupboard again and finally realised what was missing.

"Oh, he wouldn't," she breathed, turning and walking to Dib's room. Her pace was slightly faster than normal, but that was the only indication that she was worried. She opened the door, and her eyes widened. Dib looked up from where he sat on the floor, blood dripping from the slashes on his wrist. The missing razor blade was on the floor in a scarlet puddle. The house was silent.

"Cut myself shaving," he muttered.

---

Helio laughed.

"Let me get this straight…"

"You heard me the first time," Purple said darkly, "Unlock the escape shuttles."

"How stupid do you think I am?"

Red half-opened his eyes.

"We could be here all night," he mumbled. He didn't know why, but he couldn't help himself retorting. Maybe that was why he was beaten up and bleeding and Purple was fine.

"At the rate you're going, Red, you won't be here all night," Helio spat, turning back to Purple. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Pur, but I'm not letting you escape. You bit my antenna off, if you remember correctly…"

"You sliced off Red's!!! Sliced it off!"

"If you want the key to the control lock, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers."

"You still use keys on this ship?" Purple was surprised.

"It's a little primitive," Helio said in a matter of fact sort of way.

Purple narrowed his eyes.

"Give me the keys, Helio. That's an order."

"Of course my Tallest," Helio said humbly, taking a key from his pocket and dangling it in front of him. Purple snatched out to grab it and he swallowed it, laughing. "You really thought I was gonna give you it? You really are the stupid one."

Purple struck out, hitting Helio in the eye. Helio simply fell over backwards. It was almost comical. He stood up shakily, a look of shock on his face.

"You… You hit me," he gasped, and Purple froze. He remembered saying that to Red before… There was a sudden clang, and white spots popped in front of his vision. Helio grinned smugly, holding a heavy metal bar in his hands. Purple put his hand to the top of his head, where a large bump was forming. He growled, low in his throat, and Helio looked up, his smug grin shrinking and being replaced with an expression of uncertainty.

Purple whipped around, driving his foot into Helio's stomach in a powerful spinning kick. Helio was sent flying across the room, and Purple drew in a gasp when he saw where the short Irken was headed. The fallen machinery from earlier lay on its side, and a panel had come off. A set of rapidly revolving gears span inside, the serrated edges no longer properly interlocking, glinting in the dim strip lighting. It was close to the table where Red was sheltering, and he looked up as Helio flew towards the gears. He went in feet first. The gears slowed down, sucking Helio's body slowly through the sharp, spinning mechanism. Purple bit his quivering lip, looking seriously disturbed, but Red showed no emotion, his jaw tightly clenched as he watched the torture machine's gears processing Helio's body. He was half-way in, and still screaming. It was disturbing. Then there was a clang, the gears ground to a halt, and the top of Helio's corpse flopped over the edge. The key was thrown from the machine and the gears continued to spin, throwing up globs of blood and gore. Red dragged himself across the floor, picking up the bloody key in mild disgust.

"Not so much pried from his cold, dead fingers as sluiced from of his mangled, shredded corpse," he murmured, breaking the horrified silence that had fallen.

Gem walked into the room from the shadows, surveying the mess with cold eyes.

"So," he said, "What did I miss?"

---

Dib allowed himself to be dragged down the corridors of Zim's palace to the lounge where Flo spent most of her time. She hadn't said a word since she'd found him, and he was all too happy to keep up the silence. He looked down at his wrist, suddenly ashamed of what he had done. Gaz rapped smartly on Flo's door with her fist, and they stood together, waiting.

Flo sighed. It had been a week since she had fallen pregnant, and already her stomach was swollen and uncomfortable. She felt ugly and fat, which wasn't helped by the fact that Zim had hardly looked at her since she had started to grow large. But then again, Zim hardly looked at anyone anymore, spending all his time locked away in his room, meaning that she had had to find somewhere else to sleep. Flo understood, though. He was seriously depressed. The loss of the Tallest was always a great blow to any Irken, but Zim, the most loyal, most dedicated, if not most annoying Irken of them all had taken it extremely badly. He had told Flo that it was all his fault, that now he had killed four Tallests, just by sending the Dib-boy over. Flo often thought that Zim and Dib were more alike than they suspected, both blaming themselves for the death of the Tallest.

The rapping at the door came again, louder this time, and she sat up on the chaise lounge.

"Come in," she called, and Gaz stormed into the room, dragging Dib behind her by the arm. She looked pissed off, but she said nothing, and neither did Dib, who was staring determinedly at the floor. "Erm… Gaz? Dib? Everything ok?" Flo asked, and Gaz shook her head angrily.

"Dib's had a very close shave," she growled, storming to the door. She turned back, a look in her eyes that Dib had never seen before. Concern. "I never thought you'd try to take the coward's way out, Dib," she said in a low voice, stomping out of the room and slamming the door behind her. A picture of Zim fell from the wall and the glass frame shattered.

Flo looked up, confused.

"What's she talking about, Dib?" she asked, and Dib sat down next to her. He couldn't meet her eyes, so he stared blankly ahead and extended his arm. She examined the deep cuts on his wrist with dull horror. "Why?" she whispered, and he gulped.

"I… Couldn't take it. Wanted to… to see them again. Wanted Dad to… I wanted Dad to care about me."

Flo shook her head in disbelief.

"Why?" she repeated, "You can't honestly believe your Dad doesn't care! He's just… confused. He probably doesn't know how to approach you about this, Dib. And what about Gaz? What about me? What about them? You really think that the Tallest would have died just so that you would kill yourself? You might as well have stayed on the Massive with them if that was the case."

Dib nodded. He'd already thought of all this just after he'd drawn the blade across his wrist for the first time. He'd felt so selfish, so filled with hatred for the fact that he was backing out that he'd done it again. Then again. That was when Gaz had found him, and he was glad she had. A small smile played on his lips at the thought of what Red would say.

"You complete prick, Dib, you have any idea how worried I was? You want to be slaughtered; I'll give you a game of laser-tag!"

His voice was clear in his head, so close and yet so far away. Flo put her hand on his shoulder, and her touch was familiar and comforting.

"Dib, please don't do anything like this again. I love you too much, and I don't want to plan another funeral." Then she smiled. "Black is so not my colour."

He grinned, then looked at her in shock.

"Oh my…"

"I know, I know. I'm fat. It's these damned smeets, not…"

"No, Flo, look!"

She looked down at her stomach, equally shocked. A tiny footprint on her stomach was showing, where one of the smeets was stretching. It kicked, and she gasped. Dib put his hand on her swollen abdomen, feeling the smeets turning gently inside. Their eyes met, and they grinned at each other.

"You know… Zim should probably be doing this, not me," Dib said, but she shook her head sadly.

"Not now. He doesn't like to be disturbed at this time; he'll be sleeping."

Dib looked at the clock. It was eleven in the morning. He turned back, and Flo gave a sad smile and a nod. Dib looked back to her stomach, horrified that he could have considered leaving her now for such a selfish reason. She needed him, if Zim was going to be like this. He was the godfather, and these smeets were the only good thing for him to look forwards to. He smiled. Gaz was right. It had been a close shave.

AN

Please review, and an update will be on the way.

Invader Zim is the property of Jhonen Vasquez, but Flo, Gem and Helio belong to me.