Knife in the Back

"Hello," you sing, skipping over to Kurama in the nigh-dusk air. The breeze that's singing through the air is nice, and the fact that you can see the orange sky and hear the evening birds feels like a miracle. He looks up at you from the small patch of garden he's got in his yard.

"Ah, Kali," he says, sounding a little surprised. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting company, or I'd be more presentable." He brushes some of the dirt off his hands and stands up to brush more off his knees and shirt.

"Surprise visit," you say. "Mom sent me. Said you'd told her you'd give her some flower seeds or something and told me to come get them, seeing as my bike is more at hand and faster. And my eyes are better, now, so I wanted to celebrate."

"I see. Well, I don't have any seeds available at the moment. I just planted the remainder of the ones I meant to give her. Tell her that I'm very sorry, it slipped my mind. Would you like to come inside?"

You look at his house, then at him, biting your lips. You're not sure what to say, you kinda wanna go home. He's got... a bad... vibe, right now.

You shake your head. "No, thanks, Kurama, I think I have something to do..."

"Are you sure? Wouldn't you like some tea?" he asks.

You nod slowly. He seems pretty insistant for his normal self. You're wondering if Youko hasn't gotten a grasp on his mind.

You sit at his table, staring at the beautifully painted fox on it, and you consider etching a bad word into it, but it wouldn't be nice to Kurama or his mother, so you settle your hands in your pockets. He returns with some tea and a couple of cups that you're surprised he hasn't dropped. He looks like he should have dropped them the instant he got them off the surface he'd put them on to pick them up.

"Are you alright?" he eventually asks after pouring your cups of tea.

"Why do you ask?"

"I've seen you around town. You look unhappy. Is anything wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong."

"Are you certain? You seem ill, or angry, every time I see you. And you've gone pale just now. Are you sick?"

"The stuff's wearing off." Then, you pause, and a surprising question comes to mind. "Do you trust me?"

He doesn't answer, but he seems to want to.

You smile. "Good."

He looks at you questioningly. "You don't want us to trust you?"

"Anyone that doesn't trust me generally has good reason. I always wind up hurting them in the end, once they start to trust me."

"What has happened?" By his tones, you can tell he knows already.

"Every partner I've had has died or been very badly hurt by my hand, or the lack thereof," you whisper, unable to pick up your voice. You don't mean to say it. It just slips out. You've wanted to say it for so long, though. Ever since the first one died. "That's why Koenma gave me you guys. He figured that I'd hurt one of you guys and it would be fine and dandy, because the other three would be there to take care of the one I hurt, until I eventually learned what I was doing or not doing that wound up wounding and/or killing twelve other partners. Well, that's one reason he gave me you guys. He's been taking a little more and a little more advantage all of my powers, and he's afraid I'll go renegade. I'm sure that he's already spoken to you guys about what weaknesses he knows of?"

There's a long, very pregnant silence in the room. Three times, you draw breath to speak, and five times, he does, but neither says anything until Kurama manages to word what he's going to say.

"I'm sorry you have caused such pain. Perhaps it is rough training?" he suggests. You know he's joking, and you consider hitting him. You notice that he doesn't answer your question, so you assume you're right.

"I'd hit you, but I think that you know I want to is enough."

"I'm sorry, Kali, I must apologize. But what have you done? What's happened to them all?"

"Damn straight you must apologize. I don't know what's happened. Sometimes it's in the middle of a fight, sometimes it's during a mission, sometimes it's because I didn't teach them well enough when they started off on their own. Most of the ones that lived needed to be retaught how to fight, because I'd taught them badly, or they couldn't use my method of attack or stealth. I'm not a teacher. I know how to make someone stronger my way, but no way else. It causes problems."

Kurama nods a little and pets the sore spot on his head, then stands up as his mother walked into the room with a couple of bags of groceries. Kurama heads straight for her and takes the bags from her, then moves to put them up. You stay where you are, but you stand up and bow to his mother.

"Oh, Shuuichi, who's your guest? Is that her motorcycle outside?" the woman asks, looking at you with a weak curiousity.

"I'm , ma'am, nice to meet you. Yes, that's my motorcycle," you say automatically, assuming your manners and bowing again slightly.

"It's so nice that my Suichi has finally brought a girl home. It's been such a long time since he's brought friends over," she says kindly. Kurama smiles slightly and takes her arm in his.

"Come, Mother, you must be tired. Why don't you get some rest?"

"But... the groceries..."

" will help me take care of them, Mother."

"Yes, alright... The garden is lovely, Suichi," she says as he leads her out of the room. You sit back down and wait a few minutes, staring at your cooling tea.

"I apologize for my mother. She's been mildly ill, but she's a little stubborn about getting her rest," he says when he returns and sits down. "Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

"No, not really," you mutter, still staring at your tea.

"You've not drunk any of your tea."

"Not thirsty," you mutter.

Another pause lasts between the two of you. "I've not poisoned it, Kali. You saw me pour it, and I drank from my own cup."

"There is more than one way to slip poison into a cup. And I don't think you'd poison me. You helped me so much back at that castle while I was blind."

"Very fair point," he says solemnly. You shift where you sit and sigh a little, then get to your feet.

"I should go," you finally say. You take a sip of your tea, finally, so as not to be rude, and you down half the cup when you discover how good it tastes. Then you move to your feet and pick up your cup and take it to the sink and pour it out. You see a very fine powder in the bottom of your cup, very red. The tea was mldly green-yellow. You make a face. Was he seriously trying to poison you? You put a finger in it and sniff lightly at it, but no particular smell springs out at you. You look back at Kurama, then scowl. Nothing yet. You stand for a second, and wash out the cup carefully, not leaving any of the powder in the cup, but you begin to feel dizzy and collapse to the floor.

"I'm going to kill you," you manage to spit as you hear footsteps close to you. You recognize the pants leg and grab his ankle and force it out from under him and make him fall hard to the floor. You grab his collar and drag him toward you. He looks like he's hurt, or he feels ill, but it only makes you angrier.

"What did you do to me?" you demand as his image swirls in front of you, strangely in and out of focus. "What was that stuff?"

"I am sorry, Kali," he says softly, picking you up as well as he can. You struggle to be put down, but he has a very firm grip on you, and he takes you up to his room and puts you on his bed, then pulls out a communicator.

"She's prone, right now. Not as prone as I would like, but the drink got cold before she drank it, and she only drank about half."

You hear another voice on the other end of the communicator, Koenma's. "That's good. Give her a bit of a shot of it, and see what good it does. I would hurry if I were you, she will not be happy when she can move."

"She's not happy now!" you yelp before Kurama puts his hand over your mouth to stifle your complaints. You try to take his hand away, but the drug or whatever is taking a firmer effect.

"Ouch," you mutter, feeling a needle in your hip. You almost twist and punch him in the face, but you can't manage to move yourself, and you lay flat, trying to focus through the effects.

Kurama sighs a little bit and looks back into the communicator. "Koenma, sir, we're all going to hell for this," he hisses, sounding out of character, but you can't agree more.

B, C, D, E, F, C... No. A, G... I'll kill him. I'm going to kill all of them.

You open your mouth to speak, but your speech is heavily slurred. You can almost swear that you're being completely still, but you feel your jaw hit your chest.

"Whaaaa havvve yoooou donne to mmmmm... mm..." you slur, trying to roll off the bed and having very little luck.

"Koenma, sir, she's still conscious. And moving. I gave her almost twice the normal amount, because you did say this is a mind drug, plus what she drank..."

"I should have known. I'll send someone to take care of her."

"Wh... Pashtert... Whash yooou gooeeennnnn too ooh?"

"Are you asking what I'm going to do?"

You nod as well as you can, but judging by the blurriness of your sight, you nodded pretty wide.

He nods back. "I'm not going to do anything. Koenma was wanting to do more tests on you and your energy. I am sorry. He made me "volunteer" for the job of weakening you so that he may. He thought it might be necessary because the last time hurt so much, and he'd have to enclose you, so that you didn't hurt anyone with any surge of energy," he explains evenly. He pulls your arm over his shoulder and pretty much drags you to the back door. "He chose me because he thought that I would be the one you trusted most next to Yusuke. He would have been chosen, but Yusuke trusts you, and he wouldn't try to poison you. He thinks very highly of you."

Ender approaches, looking at you with eyes that reek of pity. You sniff the air and you can smell the fear in both Kurama and Ender.

"Hahaha... ha... ha..." you sputter, sucking in the spit on your lips and slumping forward and falling to the ground.

"Wow. What's she laughing at?"

"I don't know. I think she thinks it's funny that we drugged her at all. Or she's scared. Or something."

Idiots. I'm laughing because you're scared.

"She's not scared. You are. That's what's funny," Hiei says, voicing your thoughts that you can't voice at the moment.

"Oh."

"Yes. She's still got her mind. She's just lost control of her body to a very large extent. I suggest you hurry up. I don't think that drug will last much longer," Hiei says. You detect cynism in his voice, and even anger. Why's he pissed?

"You realize what a very stupid thing it is you're doing is, don't you? She can still kill you," Hiei growls, sounding even angrier, even though he's masking it. As much as you can tell, anyway.

After a little thought, you realize that he's right, this is a stupid ass thing to do. The drug is not all it would take to keep them safe, it would also take your self-restraint and your calm. If you lost it now, you could kill them, easily enough. They would die, and you would be plagued no more, until someone found you, or it wore off. And all it would take was a bit too much panic.

Ender makes a face, then taps Kurama's shoulder. "Kurama, give the stuff to me. She'll need another dose on the way."

Kurama flees into the house, and Hiei picks you up and holds you. You take in his scent, and you relax a little, but you feel your energy level rise even as you physically relax.

"Oush... Hursh..." you mutter when someone accidentally hits your already-aching head against the door. They spread you over Ender's, your mother's, and Hiei's lap, your head being in Hiei's and your feet being in your mother's

"Mmm... gonn... khhill you... alllllllll..."

"Drive fast," your mother instructs. Ender inserts the needle in your hip again, and you wriggle.

"Ooough... Y..." you mumble, now tired of speaking.

"I think she's angry at me," you hear Kurama say from the front seat.

"Yyyesssssh, shhhheee iss!" you say, wriggling lamely, before you fall still again, no longer able to even flop yourself around, like your whole body's asleep and numb.

"I think she's going cold..."

"Just a little. That's normal when she sleeps," Ender says. "Just be glad she can't move."

You're not asleep, yet, but you feel it creeping up on you. You scream as loud as you can, mainly angry, and everyone in the car cries out in pain and you roll onto the floorboard as the car makes a sudden stop, but from there, you're unconscious, and you don't remember anything.