Chapter 25: Admit
Chigusa and Kaito knelt down to clean up the grapes.
"I can't believe it!!" Chigusa shrieked. "Our own house! I know it may feel weird for us to live together by ourselves but we'll love it! I'm sure!"
"Oh! Forget everything I said, do you want to move to a house just for us?" she asked cautiously, regretting showing her previous excitement, unaware of his attitude towards it.
Kaito eagerly nodded and smiled, showing his complete satisfaction with the idea and kissing her forehead to prove it.
"But where should we live? You don't know about this world and all its countries. I would like to stay in Japan but I don't mind living somewhere else." Chigusa added.
Kaito nodded his head but pointed at her to make the decision, he didn't care where they went as long as she was there. She noted how she wanted to be close to her friends but realized they would all move away after high school, to college or even America.
She decided a town near the beach would be perfect, possibly in the countryside away from the chaotic city. Kaito began to wonder what Chigusa was planning to do for a career if she wanted one or if she had a dream.
He wrote his question down and she realized she didn't think about it that often. She placed a finger on her lip and looked into the air, as if it held her answer.
"Hmmm……….well, I guess a bird store or something simple….I really don't know." She said.
Kaito thought this might happen and wrote her that she had her entire third year to think about it and she agreed, for now she would just worry about the house and which town it will be.
After the floor had shown no signs of a grape fight, the two went up to their room and Chigusa looked on her computer for interesting jobs while Kaito read the newspaper for types of jobs in the classified section.
Chigusa laughed at the idea of Kaito getting weird jobs such as Walmart or McDonalds but started to feel sorry for him. What if he has trouble finding the perfect job or ends up working at a place he doesn't like?
She turned around to see him marking the newspaper and focusing on his future and turned back at the computer screen smiling, having faith that he will choose the right career path.
Kaito reviewed the papers, how weird some of these jobs sounded. What did a "stripper" do? Tear things apart? Who would pay someone to rip something apart? As he looked over at the various options he realized he was looking for something adventurous and circled "lifeguard".
As night approached, dinner was done quickly, the two wanting to rush to bed, feeling like they had a lot to discuss only in the solitude of their blankets. After their showers, Kaito borrowed pajamas from Ryou and laid down across from Chigusa.
The two stared into each other, as if they were to wed right here and now. Her bright eyes pierced through the dim shadows like a cat. Through Chigusa, Kaito's bright green eyes radiated as he slowly reached for her hand, holding onto it like she would die if he let go.
She turned her gaze down as she blushed and looked back into his eyes, catching his redness and kissing him on his lips, just ever so lightly. She smiled and curled up as the night breeze blew through the window.
"This is going to be a big change for us you know. I'm glad you're comfortable with it, I was worried that maybe you would feel like things were moving too fast." She said.
Kaito wrote down "You?" on his notepad.
She jumped, shocked that he asked that.
"Of course not! I'm just concerned about you, I'm so happy we'll be living together by ourselves soon. Maybe, we could decorate the place, and we could own pet birds. If you want to that is." She said nervously, realizing she was planning things on her own.
He nodded and she blushed at his generosity.
"Good…..but….have you decided what job you may be interested in yet?" she asked.
He showed her the jobs he circled.
"Lifeguard? Swordsman? That's for a play? You want to be an actor?" she asked.
He shook his head in disagreement, he didn't know that's what that was. She continued to go down the list.
"Firefighter? Ah……too bad there weren't more jobs but these seem very interesting! I can see you want adventure right?" she asked.
He nodded slowly, unsure if she was okay but she smiled and told him they had the whole year to think about their life. Those words struck them both. They never knew how much they talked about their lives.
"I……I guessed we're planning for long term things, huh?" Chigusa asked nervously, an expression of happiness but shock on her face, her brows curled upwards but her smile as glorious as usual.
Kaito nodded.
"We haven't even gotten use to getting really close to each other, physically I mean. But I feel those moments we get lost in everything around us or like something is burning inside us and we get closer and closer until we start doing those things with each other." Ceasing her talk as she blushed at her words.
"I don't wanna sound like a pervert, but I want to feel you more, touch you more, and be touched by you Kaito. I've wanted to for a long time but I don't think I'm ready for……for…….for us to have sex, just to get closer in other ways until I'm ready, please?" she asked, her voice trembling, praying for acceptance, and hoping for embrace.
As red spread across his entire face, he quickly wrote on his notepad.
"It's not perverted to desire affection, it's cute and it makes you shine more. I can wait too, as long as I'm with you. I have no problem with your wishes nor will I ever and it's because…..." it read.
She held the paper and felt her body lose all weight, her chest felt like it opened and invited his body over.
His eyes shook and he began to bite his lips, anxious for reasons she could not tell. He moved closer to her and rubbed his throat before he tried to speak.
"I-" but he coughed, she quickly came to him and rubbed his back and hair. He turned his head up, he didn't want to write this, he had to say it after all this time, since the time she tried to teach him how to speak, the time he first dated her, the every time she cried and embraced him, every time she helped him and every time he looked at her. love you…….Chigusa." he said.
He stared at her as she gasped and her face burned with fluttering passion, her heart pausing only to start racing at high speeds. She felt her body shivering, the goosebumps forming on her, and the widening smiling on her face that made her cheeks pop and gleam.
"I can't believe you said that! I love you so much too, so deeply!" she said, hugging him, bringing her body so close, their breath touched each other, and no space was found between them.
"I love you too much to express it completely, please……never let go of me tonight! Please, kiss me all over my neck and face! Please! I love you too!" Chigusa said, her voice filled with passion.
Kaito was the same but could no longer express it words, he moved closer and began to do as she said and Chigusa kissed him all over and gripped onto his chest. She nibbled his ear and her fingers traveled all over his head and hair.
They stopped momentarily to stare at each other, panting like before, her little tongue sticking out, his eyes now a dark, deep green. Both their hands clutched onto the other and she cuddled into him, wrapping her legs around his.
She smiled and relaxed her eyes as she embraced everything, his sight, his feelings, his thoughts, the memories, his sincerity, his bravery, his innocence, his strength, his smell, his taste, everything.
Her eyes remained closed but small droplets of tears rolled down her eyes. He looked at her with concern.
"Let me cry…..these are the happiest times of my life! These are tears of joy……because of you Kaito." She said, whimpering and crying more as she felt the deepness of their intimacy flood through her entire body and his.
Kaito felt like crying but held it in, deciding to hold her harder and harder and to enjoy everything about her, her kindness, grace, her thoughts, her love, her affection, the warmth, her beauty, her innocence, her maturity, her sadness, her joy, her smell, her taste, her sight, her existence, her birth, everything he could imagine.
She laid there in tears as the moonlight created a glow around her and she went to sleep to the sound of his heartbeat.