Tundra

Chapter 24: Two conversations

"So how did you know about the wolves?" Alanna asked a few hours later, stepping over an icy tree root. Two trails of footprints stretched away behind them- now that they weren't being hunted, there seemed little point in covering their tracks. Daine shrugged uncomfortably and carried on walking a few feet ahead. "Oh, come on. I know you were with them. Are they hunting you now?"

"No." Daine shifted Kitten in her arms- the dragon had fallen asleep and turned into a dead weight. "Honestly, you really don't want to know."

The knight stopped short in her tracks, slipping slightly on the uneven ice. "That's enough. I know Numair lets you get away with keeping secrets and doing your own thing, never mind the rest of us... but I can't deal with that. I need to know what's going on so I can make tactical decisions- and so does Ged. I don't care what you think about Rowan. I don't think you truly believe that any of this was my fault. You can keep whatever guilt and anger you want to, but you will tell me what's going on or so help me I'll... I'll..."

Daine watched her rant, her face carefully expressionless, then unexpectedly bit her lip and looked away. "Don't worry about threatening me." She said quietly, "I owe you more than a few secrets, I guess. Promise me two things, and then I'll tell you."

"What are they?" Alanna said, her voice guarded. Daine didn't answer, but gently woke Kitten up, unwrapped her from the fir she was in, and put her down to run around. When the dragon was completely consumed with examining the snow and her tiny footprints, she answered the question.

"If I... if something happens, will you look after Kitten? You didn't really mean what you said yesterday about handing her over to the Bronzers." It wasn't a question, and Alanna was glad of that. To some extent it was an apology for getting into a shouting match with someone whose temper was just as sharp as her own. She nodded her head mutely, watching the dragon sniffing at some loose snow and sneezing loudly.

"I don't know what you think will happen, but I promise that I'll look after her. What's the second one?"

Daine opened her mouth to answer, and then shut it and looked away, thinking of how to say it. Alanna waited, getting less patient as the minutes passed and the cold of the snow began to creep through her inactive limbs. Kitten stopped at Daine's feet and cheeped, asking to be picked up again. When Daine complied the little creature looked curiously at her paws, obviously wondering why they'd gone numb. Daine looked at Kitten when she spoke, and never glanced up.

"The wolves are coming. I've been calling them to me since we left the cave, and they will be here soon. I need you to promise..." She took a deep breath and started again, "Look, you can't kill any of the pack. No matter what you hear, or what they do, or what I tell them, you mustn't touch them. But..."

"But?" Alanna prompted gently, starting to walk again. Daine trailed after her automatically, wincing at the stiffness of the cold that had already crept into her feet. Alanna almost didn't notice when the girl started speaking again, her voice was so quiet.

"When the wolves are here... when I get near the wolves... I can't remember who I am. I become one of them. I thought I could control it, but it's been getting worse." She held up a hand to stop Alanna replying, and carried on, the words pouring out in a flood. "The ledrene knows, I think, that I am different. She showed me how to find you in return for me stopping Kitten from... in return for stopping the plague. As far as she's concerned, we owe each other nothing now. But she thinks I have something she wants, and I've been calling to her to collect it from me since we started walking. She wants Rowan's baby."

"What? Why?" Alanna blurted out. Daine ignored her, absently knocking some snow off a low branch with her free hand.

"I don't know what will happen when they get here. I don't know if they'll be angry or tired or happy. I don't know if I'll be a human or a wolf or some creature that's both. I might be able to talk them away, but if I can't... if I..."

"You mean if you start turning into a wolf, like what happened before?" Alanna asked gently. Daine nodded slowly.

"Ye-es... but you might not be able to see it. My mind goes wolf before the rest of me does. I think Kit can sense it." She smiled briefly as the dragon chirped at the sound of her name. "If that happens, you mustn't hesitate. If it happens, it means I'm about to turn on you. You should kill me before I get the chance."

Alanna gave a shocked laugh, "You cannot be serious."

"I'm perfectly serious." Daine smiled at her, as if actually speaking her idea was the only thing that was upsetting about it. "It makes more sense than for you, and Ged, and Rowan, and...and Numair, to be constantly watching your backs while you should be guarding your fronts. You know this." Her face took on a more serious shadow. "Alanna, I nearly killed that girl last night. And why? Because I truly believed, in my heart, that what the ledrene had told me was true. I was more prepared to listen to a starving, half-crazed she-wolf than either you or Ged. If she didn't look like... if I hadn't seen her, I might not have come back last night. Back to reality, I mean. And that was when the pack were miles away."

"You did it because of Numair." The older woman said, remembering the argument they'd had. Daine blinked and looked away briefly.

"Perhaps. The thought was of him, but the madness was not. Do you think he'd forgive me if he heard I attacked a woman in her childbed for defending herself?" This time the laugh was hers, and it was laden with bitterness. "I do things for the wrong reasons, and badly, and without confiding in people, and I don't deserve the trust any of you have in me."

There was an awkward silence, broken only by the crunching of the snow and the occasional dull thump as some fell from branches into the drifts. Alanna bit her lip, not wanting to ask if Daine had been listening to their conversation- but of course she had, it was part of who she was. Instead, she changed the subject.

"Did you know that Katryn had a sister?"

"She didn't." Daine's voice was expressionless. "That girl has her face, but she's not her sister. She shared nothing of her life, and nothing of her death. As far as Katryn was concerned, she had no family, and no country, and no home. She's not her sister."

The awkward silence continued, but this time it was punctuated by the distant howls of the pack of wolves. Alanna shivered, and told herself it was the cold as she checked that her knife had not frozen in its scabbard.

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Rowan and Ged had not walked far up the mountain, but Rowan could hardly remember a more terrifying time. It seemed to stretch on for hours. The howls of the wolves were close, and she was very aware of the sound every footstep made in the snow. Surely, surely the wolves would hear them and attack? And yet they didn't, even when they were close enough for their own steps to be heard. The two humans hid against the rocks that were almost cliffs in this area, hardly daring to breathe, close enough to see the fog of the predators' breath as they ran past. The leader of the pack barely glanced at the humans as they sped past, and the ones who followed her followed suit. Rowan whimpered and clutched James more tightly to her chest when one of the younger wolves looked around curiously, nearly stopping. Before its feet were still, the leader snarled at it, and it began running again.

"Are you okay?" Ged asked quietly, "I didn't know they were going to be so close to us. Daine must really be pulling at them for them to ignore humans like that- they didn't even care that they were seen!" His eyes shone as he stared after the wolves; he was obviously very impressed by the whole thing. Rowan scowled and started walking again, pushing past him rudely to get away from the cliff. She didn't look back at him, aware from his footsteps that he was keeping pace a few steps behind, walking easily where she was beginning to struggle.

"You know," the man said conversationally, "There's really no reason for you to be so rude. I haven't been discourteous, and you don't know me well enough for any of my actions to upset you."

Rowan bit her lip, and glanced back. His expression was perfectly pleasant, but his eyes had a dangerous expression. She flicked her hair over her shoulder as she looked forward again. "You don't have to be here. You obviously want to be with the others. I don't need a body guard."

"Ah, the lady speaks!" Ged replied, ignoring her last comment. "And she makes her point so well! If you're jealous, why didn't you say so?"

"Jealous?" Without thinking, the girl spun around and glared at him, sending snow flying. "What do I care if you like that other girl? I never asked you to interfere with my life in the first place!"

Ged looked honestly nonplussed for a moment,. "I was talking about Alanna." He frowned as Rowan rolled her eyes and began to walk off again. "How long were you planning on manipulating her into staying with you after you had your baby? If I hadn't come along, or Daine, would you still be coaxing her into meeting your petty revenge?" He was aware that he was shouting, and closed his mouth with a snap. Rowan was really struggling now; the path had disappeared into a steep incline of rocks, and she could hardly walk, let alone climb and carry James. She tried a few times to climb the first boulder and gave up, facing him with a hand defiantly on her hip as he walked towards her.

"Ah, the man speaks." She called sarcastically, "And he makes his point so badly! I'm not jealous, and I don't manipulate people, and my revenge is none of your damn business." James shifted in his heavy swaddling and started to cry thinly, distracting her.

"Sit down before you fall down." Ged said quietly, "You're shaking."

"I'm cold." She retorted, but sat down anyway. A tiny hand emerged from the bundle in her arms; she tucked James back in properly and cuddled him closely to warm him up. Ged watched in silence, wondering about her earlier comment. He'd wanted to confront her about what the hell she was doing since he'd taken in the situation, but he never intended to yell at her for it. There was something about the woman that just made him take the offensive.

"You don't have a chance with her, anyway." Rowan said quietly. "So there's no point in being jealous, is there?"

"Who, Alanna?" Ged was now totally lost. Rowan laughed scornfully and shook her head. He realised that no matter how scathing her voice had been, she had never met his gaze. Her voice was almost apologetic when she answered him.

"She never looked twice at you. It's not like she was ignoring you, it's just that you didn't matter enough to her for her to spend time paying you attention. And your eyes followed her around the room, but there would be no point in my being jealous of that, would there? Even if I wanted to be in the first place. Which I don't."

Ged opened his mouth to answer, and the distant, violent howls of the wolves broke the silence. Echoing among them was the unmistakable sound of a human screaming.

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