So... it's been a while! I took a break for personal reasons and wasn't sure if I was going to continue, but I couldn't quite stop thinking about this story. Thank you to those who PMd asking when I would update. And a giant THANK YOU to anyone who is still reading this story. This chapter contains anti-semitic slurs and a rather blasé treatment of sexual harassment. I hesitated to include it, but I thought it wouldn't be fair not to include some very real problems that Diana would face in a predominantly male workplace, as well as show a glimpse of one of the very real reasons her father would have not to want her to work.

"So," Darry starts.

I perk up, listening, but he doesn't follow up with anything. Instead he takes a large gulp of water. Disappointed, I too turn to my water. We may not be rekindling our romance quite yet, but we are certainly well hydrated.

"How's work?" I ask, just to be saying something.

"You already asked me that," Darry notes. "Twice."

"Oh." I knew that, but it just kills me that we don't have anything to say to each other. Because we actually have a lot to say to each other, I think, but right now we're just tap-dancing around trying to avoid anything contentious or interesting. "Well, maybe you thought of something new since the last time I asked you."

He snorts, and I feel a stab of pure exasperation. He could try, he could say something- and then I stop. Because he is trying. And I'm trying too. It isn't his fault that there are things I don't want to talk about now, things I don't want to say.

I hate my job. I thought it would be different, I thought it would give me some measure of respect, being a working woman with a place of her own, but it turns out that being on my own has consequences.

Oh, I thought I knew all about office flirtations and the things men will try to get away with if given the opportunity. But I didn't know shit. I didn't know about the hands that would try to touch me where I don't want to be touched, about the propositions that would be hinted at, or the ones that would be stated outright. I didn't know that without my father to stand up for me, or even a husband, I'd be fair game for all the lewd imaginings of men who really ought to know better.

Well, I know now. Not that there's anything I can do about it. Not with my father not speaking to me and rent due at the end of the month. I can't do anything but shut up and smile. And be a little quicker on my feet.

Darry slides the ice cube he's chewing on to the side of his mouth. "You okay?"

"Sure."

"I thought we agreed not to lie to each other anymore."

I force myself to grin. "Who's lying?"

He kicks me under the table. "You are. Knock it off."

I fold my arms, staring at my water glass. "I hate working."

He snorts again. "No kiddin'. Did I make it look too easy?"

"It isn't the work I hate. My boss is a pervert."

His eyebrows raise. "Yeah?"

I nod. "I thought I got the job because, I don't know, he recognized my inner greatness or something, but instead he just thought I had the best ass of all the girls he interviewed. That's what he told me, anyway."

"You do have a great ass."

I roll my eyes. "Not. Helping."

"I know." He munches away on his ice cube. "Move back in with your dad."

"No."

He crosses his arms and I see a muscle working in his jaw. "I can't do anything about it, Diana."

"I never asked you to do anything about it!" I protest. "Jesus! I just wanted you to listen! You don't have to go around solving all my problems for me!" The girl from the table next to us, one half of a nice looking high school couple, looks at me in alarm. I'm raising my voice. I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to get upset."

"I'm not trying to be a jerk," he says uneasily. "He shouldn't be doing whatever it is he's doing to you. If I were… someone else… maybe, I don't know."

It finally occurs to me what he's trying to get at, and I could almost groan. He means Paul, with his money and last name, could probably get him to stop. But not Darry, whose father is dead and who can't afford any legal trouble. So we've hit that greaser/soc divide once more. "I doubt anyone could do anything. He's too used to getting what he wants. Maybe my dad, but-" I break off. How could I call up my dad, whose last words to me were that if I did this he was washing his hands of me forever, and ask him to step in because my boss won't stop trying to feel me up. I sit up, and smile. "Anyway, this is an awful conversation for a first date. Let's talk about something else."

"My brother knocked up his girlfriend."

I choke on the water I'm drinking. "What?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. It's just what I thought about first. Soda's been seeing this girl for a few months, and I heard she's knocked up."

"He didn't tell you?"

He shakes his head, looking angrier than I've ever seen him. "No. I don't know what he's thinking. But if he's thinking for one second that he can get out of this he's got another thing coming."

"She must be very young," I reflect, remembering that Soda would still only be in high school if he hadn't dropped out.

"Fifteen" Darry says softly.

Where was I at fifteen? Dating Paul, without a care in the world. How would my life have been upended if I'd gotten knocked up? Paul would have married me, there's no doubt about that, but it would have been the end of every dream I'd ever had. And to be sure I'd rather be getting pawed at by my lecherous boss than locked up in a gilded cage while life went on without me.

"It's awful being a woman," I say, and I mean it, from the depths of my soul. So much of our lives depend on the whims of the men we know, and it's so unfair.

"Yeah, I imagine it is," Darry says. He looks away. "I asked my mom constantly why she never left my dad. She usually gave me some bullshit reason, but once she told me honestly that she had nowhere to go. And I realized it was true. She had three kids, no money of her own, and she'd dropped out of high school to marry my dad. She was stuck."

"I'm so afraid of ending up like that," I confess in a rush, not thinking that I might be offending him by telling him that his mother's life is my own personal nightmare. "My mom hasn't ever had a thought my father didn't put there first. I don't ever want to lose myself."

"You won't." Darry sounds so sure that I look at him. "I'm not just blowin' smoke up your butt, Diana. You're not going to end up like that at all. It's what I like about you. You can hold your own."

I don't know what to say to that. I feel like all I do is get pushed around. Especially now. "You think so?"

"Sure. You were out the door five seconds after you discovered Paul cheating on you-"

"I went back to him, though," I remind him, even though I'm sure it isn't necessary.

Indeed, he scowls for a second. "Not right away. You made him change first. Same with me. I think you're a stronger woman than you give yourself credit for."

Now I'm really at a loss for words. "That's… that's so nice of you to say."

He leans back in his seat. "I'm not saying it to be nice. I'm saying it because it's true."

"So what do you think is going to happen to Soda and his girl?"

Darry shrugs. "That's for them to figure out."

"What would we do? If it were us, I mean."

I see him doing some very quick math in his head. "You aren't-"

"Of course not. I'm just asking. Hypothetically."

He stares into his water glass. It's empty, so no time delaying sip of water for him this time. "Why do I feel like saying I'd do the right thing and marry you is exactly the wrong thing to say?"

"I'm not sure what I want you to say," I confess.

"Can we talk about something else?" He begs.

I wonder if he gets the same awful, icy fear I do when I think about having kids. It's possible. So I let him off the proverbial hook, just this once, and give him a flirtatious smile. "We could always talk about that piece of filth you call a book. I thought the Jewish stereotypes were awful, by the way."

"Well, shoot. This doesn't sound much better."

"No, I thought the book as a whole was quite interesting. I can see why you like it."

"Why does that feel like an insult?"

"It's not meant to be." I pick up one of my old French fries, now cold. "Do you like to read?"

He gives me a smile that can only be called sardonic. "Yeah, in all that spare time I have."

"Well, before you had to work two jobs. Did you like to read?"

Darry has to think about it. "Yeah. I did."

"What other books did you like?"

He leans forward, eyes bright despite himself. He's so smart, and life is so unfair. But he has a lot to say about this topic because apparently Darrel Curtis liked to read a lot.

"D'you want to come up?" I ask him when he drops me off at Miriam's- no, my- apartment.

"I think I'd better not," he says after thinking it over. "Not if you're serious about your six month rule."

I'm a little disappointed, but I think it's for the best. I tell him as much, adding, "I think tonight is the first real conversation we've ever had."

"It isn't," he argues. "But it might be the first one that hasn't ended in sex."

"How many girls did you go through while we were separated?"

He coughs. "I beg your pardon?"

"How many girls did you go through while we were separated?"

"You really gotta know that?" When I just continue looking at him expectantly, he groans. "Five, okay? Jeeze, Diana. I didn't think I'd ever see you again and I was drunk out of my mind half the time. Are you mad?"

"Honestly, I'm just a little surprised it was only five," I tease. I could die of jealousy but refuse to admit it. They were probably all blonde, and busty, I think to myself. But at least he's here with me now. It's me he really wants. It consoles me just a little.

"You tryin' to say something about me, Diana?"

"Only that if you were a girl, we'd have called you something in high school. Rhymes with mutt."

His eyes narrow. "Oh, yeah? And how far did things go with Cal?"

"Oh, we were naked and he was on top of me," I say breezily, and the jealousy in his eyes soothes my vanity that was wounded by the cocktail waitresses. "But then I told him I changed my mind. He told me I was crazy, but he stopped. There was only one of him, though."

He doesn't say anything, and so I slide across the front seat of his truck (did Soda knock up his girlfriend in this truck, I wonder, but then I shake my head and the thought disappears) and touch his arm. "Are you still interested in one of those other women?"

"You're gonna ask me that after the way I went crawlin' on my belly to beg you for a second chance? Really?" He looks like he's about to take me in his arms, but then he thinks better of it and shoves his hands in his pockets. "You're all I want, Diana. You're all I've ever wanted."

Pacified now, I rest my head on his shoulder. "I think we're getting better."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe this could work."

"God, I hope so." He takes one hand out of his pocket to run over his face. "You have no idea, Diana. No idea at all-" he breaks off, taking a deep breath.

Alarmed, I pick my head up off his shoulder. "I'm here now," I remind him.

"For the moment," he mutters. "Till I screw up again."

"Don't." I warn. "Don't start that again."

"Start what?" He demands. "I'm just trying to tell you how much you mean to me-"

"By demeaning yourself! I don't like it. You're not perfect, but you're a lot better than some guys-"

"A lot worse too! You could do better and you know it-"

"There's no one better than you!" It comes out before I can really think about what I'm saying, but once it's out I realize that it's probably true. He has issues, but he also just has this intrinsic goodness about him. He gave up everything for his kid brothers: How many guys would do the same?

Darry's ears turn bright red. I can tell he's embarrassed. "Um, well." He clears his throat. "Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." If I'm honest, my face is also an interesting shade of crimson. "I should probably go."

"Yeah." he licks his lips apprehensively as I study his face. "So, uh, in all honesty d'you think tonight was good or bad?"

"It was okay." His face falls ever so slightly, and I amend it. "It was good. You didn't even complain when I paid the bill."

He makes a face, but then he grows serious. "I really do wish there was something I could do about your boss."

I shrug. "It's not so bad. It could be worse."

"Could be better, too." He reaches out to hold my hand. "You want to come for supper next Sunday?"

My heart skips a beat. "Really?"

"If you want. I'd really like you to meet them. Well, I guess you already know Soda, but you haven't met Pony yet."

"I'd like that."

"Great. So what're you going to make for us? We're not picky- trust me, that's going to hurt you more than it'll hurt me." He laughs at my balled up fist as I'm preparing to slug him in the shoulder. "Who the hell taught you to throw a punch?"

"Nobody." I study my fist. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Thumb on the outside." I correct it, and he nods. "Come back next week and I'll teach you how to bust up a soda bottle and use it as a weapon."

I laugh. "Wouldn't that surprise Mr. Sykes?"

Darry looks thoughtful. "That is something I can do. I can show you how to defend yourself."

"So what you're telling me is there are some benefits to dating an East Side hood?"

I'm worried I've gone too far, but he actually grins. "Well, I wouldn't want Paul teachin' you how to throw a punch, that's for damn sure."

I'm more of a lover than a fighter, I can remember Paul telling me once, probably with a wink. Shut up, I tell his memory. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Unaware of my inner dialogue, Darry is continuing. "Don't expect me to start totin' you around to rumbles or anything, but there are things you can do to stop someone from grabbing you. And everyone ought to know how to throw a punch."

"Rumbles, huh? You go to a lot of them?"

"Not anymore. Someone said I should stop fighting. God help me if I get jumped."

"You know good and well that I told you if someone else threw the first punch it was okay to hit back!"

"It was a joke," he protests with a laugh. It's amazing how much younger he looks when he laughs. "Just like when I asked what you were makin'. Of course I'll do the cooking."

"Please. You can't even scramble an egg properly. I'll cook."

"Can you cook?"

"Are you really in a position to judge?"

He laughs again. "Guess not. Fine. Come over. Cook for us. Maybe you can clean up, too."

"Don't push your luck, Curtis."

He kisses me then. Slowly. And then he says, "I love you, Diana. I don't know if we're back to saying that or not, but I love you."

"I love you, too." My voice is soft, and I have no idea how he thinks I have any sort of strength to me at all when I'm all too easily undone. "I love you so much."

Another kiss, one that threatens to turn into something more, before he pulls away. "Come on," he says abruptly. "I'll walk you to your door."

The sun is warm on my upper thighs, but I hardly feel it because of the sudden chill I feel inside. "You told me Cal wouldn't be here," I whisper urgently to Lucy. "You told me he was moving out."

"Moving," Lucy notes. "Not moved. And I didn't think he would be. What's the big deal, anyway?"

I smooth down the skirt of my tennis uniform. Tennis Sundays may have been downsized from Lucy's backyard to Lucy and Tedy's balcony, but since the object of these Sundays was just to look cute we haven't let it phase us. The mimosas still taste the same, and that's all that matters.

"Darry asked me not to be around him." Why oh why is my skirt so short? I feel like Cal's eyes are looking right up it. Not that he hasn't seen me naked already, but still.

"And of course what Darry says is law." Frustration makes Lucy's voice harsher than normal. "I thought you were finally done with him."

"I don't think I'll ever be done with him."

"You have the worst taste in guys. Good morning, Cal." Her voice, harsh with me, is suddenly all honey with Cal as he steps inside. "What brings you by?"

He leers at us, but it's the type of leer I might love if I hadn't promised Darry to stay away from him, the one that says you are turning me on so much right now. Lucy preens, subtly pulling her skirt up to make sure Cal gets an eyeful. Despite Teddy, I don't think she'll ever turn away from male attention. Cal's eyes rake over my body, and I know he's thinking about what I look like naked and imagining what we could have done if I weren't crazy.

You are never going to be more than a long-legged paper doll for men to hang their fantasies on, whispers an ugly voice inside my head. For a second I wish I could just disappear, but then I think of Darry and I know it isn't true. I straighten in lawn chair, and give Cal a cool glance. So what if he's seen me naked? It'll never happen again and he know it.

Seeing that I'm a no go, he turns expectant eyes to Lucy. Lucy gives her slow smile and arches her back as she tosses her hair over her shoulder. It's all the invitation Cal needs to trail one finger up Lucy's leg where it disappears beneath his skirt.

I am right here and Teddy is right inside the door. It's what I want to say as I watch this terrible tableau play out in front of me. I should say something, and if there were any hint that Lucy wasn't perfectly willing I would, but instead I just watch dumbly, wishing for that strength Darry thinks 've got hidden away somewhere.

It's Teddy who breaks it up, Teddy who pokes his head out the door. If he's alarmed by the sight of Cal pawing at Lucy and Lucy's obvious reciprocating interest, he doesn't show it. "Gregory, can I speak to you in the house please?"

Cal looks up, hand still on Lucy's leg. "I'm a little busy at the moment."

Teddy clears his throat. "Now, please, before I throw you over the railing."

"What was that?" I ask Lucy as Cal and Teddy both disappear.

Her eyebrows raise. "Oh, what, he isn't good enough for you so he shouldn't be good enough for anyone?"

I'm so confused. "I never said that. But you have Teddy-"

Lucy shrugs. "I was just flirting. It doesn't mean anything. If you think back real hard, I'm sure you can remember what flirting is. You did it a lot before you took up with Attila the Hun and became completely uninteresting."

I get to my feet. "There's no need to be awful, Luce. You don't like Darry, fine. You never liked Paul either. But you're being downright nasty today, and you can say it was just flirting with Cal, but we both know it was more than that."

For a second Lucy looks angry, but then she slumps over in her seat, hugging her knees. "I'm pregnant."

I blink. "That seems to be going around lately."

Lucy's head jerks up. "Are you-"

"Of course not!" The idea horrifies me just as it always does. "Darry's always very careful."

Her heads droops again. "I thought I was, too. But I missed this month and now I'm puking up my guts every morning, so I guess I wasn't as careful as I thought I was."

"So what're you going to do?"

"There's a doctor in Oklahoma City." I must look as shocked as I feel because Lucy gives a half smile. "It's not so bad. He fixed Therese right up when she got herself into a bind last year. She's right as rain now."

I can't blame Therese for not wanting another child. She has six already. "And what does Teddy think?"

"Oh, he wants to get married." She rolls her eyes and blows her curls out of her face. "Out of the frying pan and into the fire."

We're distracted from further conversation by Cal, who comes back out onto the balcony. This time, he doesn't even look at Lucy. Whatever Teddy said must have been effective. He crosses the patio to where Lucy and I are sitting and looks down at me like he'd like to break me open and see what makes me tick.

"How about you and me go to a movie Saturday night?" He asks finally, like he wasn't just fondling my best friend.

Surprise makes me slow to react, but after Lucy prods me with her foot I remember to shake my head. "No, thank you."

"She and Darrel are back together," Lucy chimes in.

Not quite, I want to add, but don't. Perhaps now isn't the best time.

Cal's lip curls. I'm not stupid enough to think that it's me he wants. I'm just ammo to use against the boy he always hated, the greaser who trashed his car and got away with it. It might also be a pride thing: I was a tease and I damaged his ego. It might even be a dig at Lucy. There are so many potential motives, and desire for me is at the bottom of the list.

"I didn't think you were the kind of girl who shared," he says. I raise me eyebrows and say nothing, so he adds, "I saw Darrel out with some brunette last week. He looked pretty cozy."

Lucy laughs, a mocking laugh that lets me know she's back in my corner. "You gossip worse than the girls in my sorority. Jealousy isn't a good look for you."

He flushes. "Who's jealous? I wouldn't have been caught dead trying to fuck Holden's cast off kike if she hadn't come on to me first. Only a nobody like Curtis would think that was appealing."

Lucy gasps, but the vitriol in Cal's voice is so over the top that I laugh outright. "It must have really bugged you, Cal. All those years of coming in second to a 'nobody like Curtis'. And now here you are, not even in the running."

Cal looks absolutely livid, and it's almost comical the way his eyebrows pull towards the middle of his face. I laugh again, and I think it infuriates him more than if I'd thrown a punch. He's angry, so angry, and I'm just not taking him seriously. It's a feeling I'm too familiar with, the desperation and hopelessness of being dismissed. He doesn't realize it, but for one brief moment in time I think Gregory Calhoun is closer to understanding me than anyone on Earth.

Cal gets to his feet, but he can't resist throwing the last word in. "Paul was right, you are a trashy slut."

"What a jerk," Lucy says indignantly when he's gone. "I can't believe I thought about sleeping with him."

I snort. But after a second, I ask, "d'you think Paul really said that about me?"

Lucy looks over at me curiously. "Does it matter?"

I close my eyes and let the last rays of summer heat warm my face. "No. Of course it doesn't."