Backfire
Chapter Twenty Six
As she pushed her way onto the Grid her eyes strayed automatically to his office but the blinds were down so there was no way of knowing if he was in there or even if he had come back from the round of meetings that had monopolised his time since Sunday.
Sighing she took off her coat and made her way to the kitchen to put the kettle on. She didn't want another drink she was awash with ruddy tea but she was sure her work mates would welcome the chance of refreshment and the break a cuppa and a biscuit would afford them. Also she thought maybe one of them would let slip whether Harry had been seen yet or if he was still in Whitehall.
As she waited for the kettle to boil she asked herself again what had possessed her to have that bloody box delivered and here of all places! If she was going to give him a gift surely sending it to his home would have been safer but that would have been more personal somehow and she wasn't yet sure just how personal she wanted her friendship with Harry to be.
As she stared off into space she found herself thinking the one thought that had been plaguing her every spare moment since Saturday; why did this have to be so difficult! With Hugh it had all been so straightforward. They'd meet; been attracted to one another and then they'd allowed things to progress at their own pace. True there were times when she'd felt as though she was being swept along on a tide of emotion that she was not used to or capable of dealing with but they'd managed in the end hadn't they? They'd been happy very happy and she was sure they still would be happy if fate had not intervened. And yes there was another thing that she had to wrestle with. By allowing her feelings for Harry to develop was she being disloyal to Hugh and his memory?
She knew that she felt guilty when she found her musings to be filled with thoughts of Harry and not as had been in the past of Hugh. But was that so wrong?Hugh was gone and as that thought weighed upon her she let out a small sob of anguish well aware that the tiny kitchen attached to the Grid was not the place to indulge in such introspection.
The kettle clicked off and she was grateful for the diversion that making a pot of tea offered; she allowed herself a brief smile as she opened the box of biscuits she'd stowed under the work top a few days earlier before calling out to let everyone else know that she'd brewed up and awaited the rush. She was not kept waiting very long as Danny almost knocked her down in his eagerness to get a drink
"You're a gem, a lifesaver" he said "Oh! and biscuits as well. You don't happen to have a three course meal and a clean shirt somewhere about your person do you Ruth? No, well never mind this will do very nicely to be going on with."
He was soon joined by the rest of their colleagues who poured themselves a drink and delved into the box of biscuits with gusto and she took the chance to slip back onto the Grid in case Harry returned to find no one manning the phones. She was soon joined by the others, drinks and assorted biscuits in hand. As she'd anticipated they took the time to catch their breath, even Malcolm who came out of the kitchen clutching a Garibaldi and a couple of Jammie Dodgers as though they were gold. He came and sat down next to her enquiring
"How did your meet go? Anything useful that you can share because I swear Ruth I'm just about fed up to the back teeth with this fiasco we find ourselves embroiled in at the moment. And I know I'm not the only one, Harry was telling me that he's just about ready to tear somebodies head off."
"Oh, he's been in then?" she asked trying to keep her voice as calm and level as she could. "Did he want anything special doing? I can't see anything on my desk but I've not opened any e mails yet so maybe there's a nasty surprise or two waiting for me in my in box?"
Can't help you I'm afraid" Malcolm replied "To tell you the truth he looked all in, I tried to persuade him to go home but I can guarantee that he took no notice at all and I would think that he's back in Whitehall at the moment using every trick in the book to curb his sarcasm as he deals with Our Lords and Masters. Do you know Ruth I wouldn't have his job for all the tea in China!"
Ruth smiled to herself Malcolm was such a love, she hadn't heard the saying about tea and China for years , but she knew just what he meant and once more she wondered how Harry managed it. She knew, probably better than any of them what his feelings about their Lords and Masters really were but he always managed to play with a straight bat, almost always managed to mask his true feelings. And she found her self wondering for a brief moment what that must have cost him over the years.
She was brought back from her daydreaming by a light touch on her arm and she was aware that Malcolm had taken the liberty of moving closer to her. Looking round to see that no one was in earshot he leaned in a little closer before he said
"I'm worried about him Ruth, I've known him a long time and I sense something different about him. He needs a friend at the moment, someone who can take him out of himself, someone who has his best interests at heart. Oh I know that you're going to say that person should be me but if it is to be me it will only end up with us polishing off a bottle or two of good single malt and when our heads are clear and we can think again he will be in just the same place as where we started. No Ruth not me!" And he looked straight at her.
"I'll think about it Malcolm" she found herself saying before she'd had time to think about it "After all how can I not when you ask so nicely and with a Jammie Dodger in your hand! Who would have thought it Malcolm Wynn Jones a secret Jammie Dodgers addict!" And they both laughed as Malcolm turned away to return to his cubby hole. Malcolm smiled to himself he was sure that they both just needed a little nudge in the right direction. They were getting there but he felt they needed a little help. He'd come across them on the CCTV from Saturday night, had tracked their progress across London whilst he was doing a routine sweep. Of course he wiped all evidence of their time together but if he'd come across it who else might? No he needed them to become closer before outside influences began to encroach on the burgeoning relationship that they were cultivating.
As she turned on her computer and began to trawl through her e mails Ruth's mind wandered back to what Malcolm had said. What would be the harm? They would just be two people who worked together spending some leisure time together. She was positive that she could control her increasing awareness of Harry as a man as opposed to her friend and boss and she'd enjoyed his company the other night plus she was sure that Malcolm was correct: Harry's idea of recreation did seem to consist almost entirely of alcohol consumption and that could not be good for him neither in the short or long term. Added to the mix was the fact that she was positive that Harry had no designs on her at all! She was just not his type.
Oh this was just to bloody difficult! Better to stick to what she was good at: preventing terrorist attacks in the heart of London and helping Harry keep the Americans and the Russians at bay. Yes that was much more in her comfort zone and so as she often did when she was confronted by real life Ruth immersed herself in her work.
When he finally returned from yet another fruitless trip to Whitehall he felt as though his head might explode! He knew that he was being played, that Six were pushing to see just how far they could go before he would bite back. It was a game that they'd played for years. He'd come to expect it, indeed as every new Director of Six was appointed he would wait for the entertainment to begin and it was entertainment as far as he was concerned. He'd always enjoyed watching their cockiness evaporate as Harry Pearce showed them how the game should be played but this time there was something different, this time he had a feeling that it was not just Six that was involved. He'd have a word with Malcolm and get him to see what he could find when he lifted some stones and the wild life crawled out.
As he passed her desk he could see that Ruth was totally immersed in her work, earphones on, eyes closed, pen flying rapidly across paper as she listened to whatever it was she was listening to. He was sure that it would be totally incomprehensible to him and the majority of the others on the Grid but Ruth was different. Ruth was what made a difference to his team. He wanted to go and talk to her but there was too much to do, he knew that his desk would be piled high, that his in-box would be full and no doubt his answer phone would also be overloaded; much better to stay in his comfort zone for the moment, best to stick to what he knew best.
Despite Harry's assumption that she was so immersed in her work that she wasn't aware of his presence the opposite was in fact the truth. She didn't know when or where it had happened but these days she was always very aware of Harry when he was in close proximity to her. She was somehow very conscious of the way he moved through a space with a commanding masculinity. As he passed she battled with herself, half of her prayed that he would pass by without stopping, would carry on to his office and leave her in relative peace. The other treacherous part hoped that he would stop and indulge in the playful banter that he seemed to reserve only for her. That he would lean in and drop good natured ribbing in her ear. That he would flirt with her!
But he walked straight past her calling for Malcolm to join him immediately. It was then that Ruth really began to regret the fact that she had been stupid enough to kiss Harry Pearce! And why oh why had she thought it was a good idea to send him such a personal gift?
On reading this I find that we haven't moved on very far but please believe me we are getting there it's just taking longer than I'd planned. I suppose I could have Ruth throwing herself at him in his office and them "shagging" across his desk but would that be them? I think they merit more.