A contented sigh escaped his lips as he opened his eyes the next morning. Pleasant dreams had found him once again, and he took it as a sign that things could only get better. The body shifted in his arms and he struggled to swim through the murkiness of sleep to realize where he was. The momentary panic of the body pressed against him evaporated as he realized that it was Noah there and then memories from last night and the broken husband he had found in this bed resurfaced.
He eased back enough that he could look over Noah's shoulder and see him still sleeping, but the tracks left from his tears were still visible. He, as hurt as he was, wouldn't have Noah in that kind of pain again for anything. Coming in here and giving him comfort had been the right thing to do.
He shifted wanting to wake Noah, to see if he was truly okay. His hand lovingly massaged Noah's scalp as he gently nudged him awake. He was glad when he saw those blue eyes staring at him, but sad when he saw that Noah looked like he was about to cry again. "How are you feeling," he whispered, still stroking that thick mass of hair.
Noah closed his eyes momentarily, enjoying the feel of Luke's fingers on his scalp. "I'm feeling a little better. I don't think I've cried that much since the time I ran away from your dad." The massaging stopped and Noah opened his eyes to find that Luke had moved away from him completely. He was looking at him with the most peculiar look. "What"? Did I say something wrong?"
"No," Luke said shaking his head. "It's just…you remember that? Do you remember why you ran from my dad that day?"
Noah thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "It's very vague, Luke. I remember running from him, and you found me and we were…it was raining and you said something, and I cried. I…I'm sorry I don't remember much more than that."
"It's okay," Luke assured him as he moved to get out of the bed. "I'm going to make us some breakfast. I have a feeling it's going to be a very long day."
Noah watched him leave and a single tear slipped down his face. He felt like a wall had been put up between him and Luke and he didn't know how to get around it. He closed his eyes momentarily and dropped his head back to the pillow. Suddenly waking up did not seem so appealing.
Luke was at the stove when Noah entered the kitchen. "Hey," he said smiling as he pointed at the table with a spatula. "Breakfast should be ready soon, but I already got you some Juice to get you started. I hope that was okay."
"Thanks Luke," Noah said taking a seat at the table. He tried to take comfort in the fact that Luke was still doing things for him. Maybe the distance between them was only in his head. He watched as Luke flipped the pancakes in the pan, and then transferred them on to a plate. He knew he and Luke cooked dinner together, but he wondered if they ever did breakfast together as well. "Do you need any help?" He asked, even as he picked up his glass to take a sip of juice.
"I'm just about done actually," Luke said bringing two plates over to the table. "I made blueberry pancakes, dig in."
"Thanks. Do you make these for me all the time?"
"Yeah, actually I do," Luke said wistfully. "You love blueberries."
Noah took a bite, and chewed thoughtfully as he watched Luke eat his own food. There was something nice about watching him cut his food, before adding the syrup. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Noah felt propelled to ask another question. "So um, Luke, what are your plans for the day?"
Luke looked up from his food and concentrated on Noah for a moment. "Well I do have to go see my dad this morning. I already called James and let him know I wouldn't be in class today. It's going to be a long day, and I know I can't handle class right now. I have to go to the police station too."
"Ok, give me a few minutes and I will be ready to go with you."
Luke frowned and looked back down at his plate. A few minutes passed before he looked up again, facing Noah head on. "I don't think that's a good idea."
But Luke, why not," Noah asked. "I want to be there to support you, and I know this is going to be hard for you."
"Yeah, it is going to be hard," Luke admitted. "But…I need to do this on my own. It's just something I need to do, and I thank you for wanting to be there for me, Noah…I just don't think it's a good idea for you to come with me to do this."
"Is it because you're still angry with me," Noah asked sadly. "I feel like you're posing me away."
"I'm not…angry with you exactly, Noah." Luke insisted. "Yesterday really scared me, and I'm trying to deal with that and right now…" He paused not sure what to say. He didn't want to hurt Noah, but he wanted to be honest too. "I love you Noah…that hasn't changed. But this is something I need to do on my own."
"But, I really want to go with you," Noah insisted with a sigh. "I guess I can understand though. What am I supposed to do while you're gone?"
"Well," Luke said, swishing his pancakes around his plate, "You don't have an appointment today…I guess you could try some of the exercises the doctor gave you. You have my phone number if you need to reach me, and my dad, James, and Maddie are available to you as well. I'm sorry to have to leave you here all alone. I just want to get this taken care of…I am really tired of reliving…"
He cut off his flow of words deliberately and got up to trash the rest of his food. "Are you done?" he asked coming to pick Noah's plate off the table.
"Yes I am finished. I guess I will work on those exercises and maybe call Maddie. You will call me if you need anything right? Or if you just need to talk I am willing to listen."
"Thanks Noah, I'll keep that in mind." He reached out to touch Noah's cheek lightly before moving to pick up his plate. His hands were trembling as he cleaned the dish and it slipped and fell from his hand. "Damn," he cursed as he bent down to pick up the pieces. A shard from the plate pricked him and he cursed again. He wished he wasn't so nervous.
"Leave it Luke," Noah said getting up immediately. "I can do that. Let me see your hand," He took a hold of Luke's hand and helped him to stand. "You're bleeding. Come over here," he led Luke over to a chair, "and let me clean this up for you.' He left only for a second to get the antiseptic and a bandage for Luke's hand.
Luke sat still and waited for Noah to return with the first aid items. In no time his finger was clean and bandaged. "There," Noah said, disposing of the bandage wrapper. "That's better. Now go, take care of what you need to do. I will be here waiting when you get back."
Luke nodded and took a deep breath before standing again. He was going to do this…and after today hopefully he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. He placed his hand on Noah's cheek and gave him a soft kiss on the side of his mouth. "I love you, Noah…trust in that."
Noah followed him in the living room, and watched him leave without looking back. The sound of the key turning in the lock sounded so final, and he knew that at least had to be his brain on overload. Luke wanted him to trust him, so that was what he was going to do. He returned to the kitchen and grabbed the broom and the dustpan to clean up the mess made by the dropped plate. Once the kitchen was clean he returned to the living room and collapsed on the couch. He missed Luke, and he didn't feel like doing memory exercises at the moment. He didn't feel like doing anything…and as he sat there, alone in the apartment a single solitary tear rolled down his cheeks.
Just when he thought he couldn't' cry anymore…
As he neared the farm he still didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't know where to start, and he certainly didn't know how his father would react to the news. There was so much at stake here, and it was killing him. He had decided to do this, and he wasn't regretting his decision, but knowing what needed to be done wasn't making it any easier.
He was a wall of stone as he pulled into the farm driveway. He was determined to get through this without breaking. He needed…had to be strong for his dad, especially with everything else going on. He walked stoically up to the porch and walked inside. Some things never changed, the Snyder farm seemed always open for visitors.
"Hello," he called as he entered the kitchen. "Is anyone here?"
"Luke? Son I'm in the parlor."
Luke headed for the parlor where his dad was relaxing in one o the chairs. He almost hated to bother him, he looked so relaxed. "Hi, Dad," he said breaking the silence that had followed his father's greeting.
"Luke," Holden smiled and gestured for his son to have a seat. "What brings you out this way today? I figured you'd be spending all your available time with Noah."
"Well," Luke started, "I should actually be in class…but I needed to see you about something. And it's very important." He swallowed and eyed the floor very intently. "I have to talk to you about something, just like I told you I would need to, and," he looked up to meet his father's eyes, hoping his own were clear of tears, I'm going to need your help."
Holden frowned at the expression on his son's face, and put down the paper he'd been reviewing to give him his full attention. "Okay, Luke, I'm listening. What's this about?"
"I have to tell you about my behavior, the last few months," Luke started, his voice soft. "I mean, you know me pretty well and I'm sure you noticed when you did see me, that I wasn't acting myself and haven't really been since November."
"Well, yes we all noticed that you've been on edge," Holden confirmed. "But we weren't sure what was going on."
"I…I was drinking again," Luke started, knowing he didn't have to share that piece of information. But it was better…easier to tell his father that then the other news he had to share. I had my reasons and I'm not doing it anymore but I needed to tell you that." He looked at the floor again, tracing an invisible line with the toe of his shoe. He wanted to slip out of those shoes and his socks…he wanted to get comfortable on the couch, he wanted to just relax.
He couldn't…not until this was done.
"You haven't drunk in a long time, Luke," Holden pointed out. "What in the world brought this on?"
"Can you not be mad at me please?"
"I'm not mad at you, Luke," Holden softened his tone. "I just need to know what caused the relapse."
"Noah and I had a bad fight the night before Thanksgiving," Luke explained. "And things have kinda gone downhill from there. Something happened that I am not particularly proud of and I couldn't handle it dad. I couldn't handle what happened so I drank, and I drank. I did that for about a month and then I stopped."
"What happened, Luke? I know it had to be something terrible to send you back to drinking."
"What sent me back to drinking was the reminder…constant reminder of what had happened," He explained, looking at his father once more. "I was betrayed by someone I thought I could call a friend. I was stupid, Dad. Really stupid and I don't know how to tell you what I did because I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."
"Luke, stop," Holden ordered gently. "You aren't making sense right now. Come over here and sit down. Come on, I insist."
Ever so slowly he made his feet move until he was standing in front of the chair his dad occupied. He joined him there, sitting just close enough that his father could read what he was feeling.
"That's better," Holden soothed. "Now there is nothing that you could do to hurt me that I can't handle. Tell me straight out now what is going on."
"I was raped," he blurted before he could give himself a chance to stall. The words hung out there suspended in air and Luke could only hold his breath as he watched his father's eyes.
Those blue eyes Luke loved so well were clouded with emotion, and Luke forced himself to look away. "When did this happen, Luke" his dad asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. "How did I not see this? Are you okay? Who did this to you? I am calling Jack right now to take your statement."
"No, dad, don't," Luke said grabbing his dad's arm before he could get up. "I'm going to go to the police station after…I have to talk to Margo about the clothes that were found on Noah at the time of the accident. I just needed to talk to you before I did that."
He sighed and placed his hands in his lap. "It was the night before Thanksgiving. That's when it happened. Almost three months ago," he whispered not really speaking to anyone. "And you didn't see it because I didn't want you to see it. I just wanted to forget about it…and that was why I was drinking, and I ended up pushing everyone away. It's no wonder I didn't know about you and Mom, I was…" He shook his head he really didn't want to go down that path.
"I am fine, physically…but emotionally I am a wreck and with everything piling on after that it's just been really, really hard."
"Well, you are not going through this alone," Holden informed him. "I am going with you to the police station. "Where is Noah? Why isn't he here with you?"
"Because unfortunately, right now, Noah is part of the problem," Luke admitted sadly.
"What," Holden frowned. "I don't understand. Why is Noah part of the problem? I thought things were going okay since he came home. He hasn't said anything about more panic attacks?"
Luke shook his head. "Noah's okay…he's just," Luke sighed and thought about his husband for the briefest of seconds. He was going to call Noah when this was all over…he just needed to hear his voice.
"Noah did something yesterday that brought my fears and my memories of the rape back to the surface…and I just needed to be separate from that today. I am so mad, dad," he admitted. "So mad at myself and so mad at Randy…I'm just…so mad."
"Randy"?" Holden asked his frown deepening as he looked at his son. "The guy from WOAK who works with you guys? You brought him out here to ride horses once right?"
"Yeah, that's him," Luke said his voice void of any emotion.
"What does Randy have to do with Noah?"
"Randy convinced Noah that they were the best of friends,' Luke said bitterly. "And he gave him some advice that I wish to god Noah had dismissed." It was sad to him that thinking about yesterday still made him shudder. It wasn't right…he didn't want to be afraid of Noah, that was just wrong on so many levels and he couldn't stand it.
"Okay son," His dad's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Is there anything else I need to know, before we go to the station?"
"Luke shook his head. "I could tell you exactly what happened…but I have to repeat it at the station and I don't want to have to tell it again."
"No, son," Holden said sympathetically. "I know this has been hard enough for you to relive as it is. Let me grab my coat and we can head to the station. Do you want me to call Jack and let him know we are coming so he can tell Margo?"
"Okay," He said even as he watched his dad stand from his seat. He was barely paying attention as his father made the phone call. He was trapped in his thoughts, thinking about things that weren't helping his frame of mind. In his head he could see that gaze, Noah's eyes, loving sapphire blue…caring compassionate…warm. Everything he loved was in that gaze but in a blink of an eye…as soon as he reached for it, it changed and became cold, icy blue and there was nothing kind about it..
He jumped when a hand touched his shoulder and he looked up into his father's concerned face and paled. He tried closing his eyes to block out the images and pulled away from his father completely. He stood and tried to put as much distance between himself and the phantom image.
"Luke," his father said calmly, "Are you okay? What's wrong son? I can see that you are very jumpy, even around me. Is there something I can do?"
Luke shook his head. "Blue…" He gasped. "Eyes…blue…" He leaned against the wall and tried to catch his breath. Why was he having this reaction now?
"Luke, calm down," Holden soothed. "I'm here. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." He made his way over to where Luke was standing and slowly placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Breathe, Luke, come on Son, deep breathes you can do it." Luke took large gulps of air and tried to do what his father wanted. "That's it in and out, in and out. Now come on, sit down and tell me what just happened."
Luke followed his father's instructions and continued his effort to breathe. When he was calmer he covered his face with his hands and groaned. "I'm sorry, Dad. I don't know what came over me. It's just that Noah's eyes…they turned into Randy's eyes and then I saw you and I just, it…those eyes freak me out."
"It's okay son. I won't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I'm here and I want you to know that anytime you need me to help pull you through a panic attack like this, I will be there."
"Thanks Dad. I…I think I'm okay now. Can we go?"
"Yes, we can go. Jack said he would call Margo and they are both going to meet us at the station."
Luke nodded. He hoped it was only going to get easier from here, but he had a feeling that was a futile wish.
The last time he had seen the inside the Oakdale police station, he had been brought in on drunk driving charges. He had promised Jack that day that he would never see the inside of a police station again. Now he was headed there with his dad…and he would be the one pressing charges. Jack was waiting for them when they arrived and he wasted no time ushering them inside. Soon Luke found himself sitting in the questioning room, with his father by his side. Jack was there with his arms crossed and they were waiting for Margo to join them.
Luke was fidgety, folding and unfolding his hands, shuffling his feet and biting his lip. Every little sound made him jump and he couldn't stand the sympathetic looks he got from both his dad and his cousin. He was glad when Margo finally slipped into the room with the evidence bag in her hands. Luke cringed at the sight of that bag, but he took a deep breath and focused on the present. It was time to get this over with.
"Luke, Jack, Holden," Margo said acknowledging their presence as she took a seat. Jack and Holden nodded but Luke said nothing at all. He stared straight ahead, lost in his thoughts again, trying to gear up for what he had to say. He almost wished he had brought Noah along…but he knew that wouldn't have done anything to ease his nerves.
"Luke thanks for getting back to us about the clothes. How has Noah been since he came home?" Margo asked, as she shuffled through some papers, trying to locate the DNA evidence they had obtained.
"He's fairing well," Luke responded cordially. He could tell that Margo was trying to make this as painless as possible...and he appreciated that.
"I'm glad to hear it," Margo smiled, hoping she was offering Luke some comfort. She knew this wasn't going to be easy for him and she was sorry for that. She had known Luke his whole life, and it broke her heart to see him looking this dejected.
"Now, the last time we spoke, you said these clothes, the ones Noah had in the duffel bag belonged to you, correct?"
"Yes ma'am…the clothes are mine."
"Can you tell me how Noah came to be in possession of them?"
"I can only hazard a guess, Ma'am," Luke said with a sigh. "He was in our bedroom getting a surprise for me, and about fifteen minutes later…maybe more he came out with the duffel bag and said he had to go."
"Did he tell you where he was going?" Margo folded her hands on the desk and looked squarely at Luke.
"He said he was going to the studio, because he had left my Christmas present there."
"And you had no idea what was in the duffel bag at the time?"
"No Ma'am."
"Why did you hide the clothes, Luke?"
"I didn't want Noah to find them," Luke confessed. He lowered his eyes to focus on his fingers. So far the questions had been simple. Now things were about to get interesting.
"Why not," Margo questioned gently.
"Because I knew if he found them, he would have questions that I didn't' want to answer." Luke explained, trying hard to keep his voice controlled. He felt his father's hand on his shoulder briefly and he took strength from it. "I didn't want…I didn't want him to know."
"You mean why the clothes were ripped?"
"Yes."
"Luke," Margo said, scraping her chair against the floor as she stood up to retrieve the evidence bag. "There were three sets of DNA found on these clothes, and three sets of finger prints. One set of prints belongs to Noah. Do you know the identity of the other two sets found on these garments"
"Yes," Luke said taking a deep breath. "I know who the DNA and the prints belong to."
"Can you tell me?"
Luke was silent for a minute; the questions that would follow his response were going to be the hardest questions he'd ever have to answer. "The fingerprints are mine…and the other set belongs to Randy Thompson." He swallowed and took another deep breath. Yesterday may have been the first time he could say the name, but it was way different when he put into context with the police. "And the DNA…is mine, and Noah's…and…" he stopped as the words got caught in his throat.
His eyes closed and his head went down, he was finding it hard to breathe again.
Holden and Jack reached for Luke at the same time but Margo stopped them. "Let me talk to Luke alone, please…trust me." She waited for both men to leave the room before placing a soothing hand on Luke's back, rubbing gently as she spoke to him. "Easy, Luke. Take your time. I know this can't be easy for you…but as soon as you can say it…it starts to get easier."
His breathing began to calm and he lifted his head, nodding to let Margo know he was ready to continue. She took her seat across from him and asked him if he needed any water before they went on.
"NO, Ma'am…no water. The third DNA sample belongs to Randy Thompson."
"Did you have sex with both Randy and Noah around the same time, Luke?"
He was horrified and he shook his head vehemently. He knew she was just doing her job, but that question was just insane and it made him cringe. "No…no…just Noah. Just Noah."
Margo frowned, she knew this was painful for him, and she hated that her detective mind had led her to this. This was not something she ever thought she would have to ask Luke Snyder. He reminded her so much of Casey…and that frightened her most of all. "Why is Randy Thompson's DNA on your clothes?"
"Because he raped me."
"When?"
"On the night of November 21, 2007.
"Did this happen at your home?"
"No ma'am. I was at work…at WOAK."
"Why were you there?"
"I always work late on Wednesdays…and Noah needed a speech so I was working on it."
"So you were at the station the whole time, during the day?"
"No ma'am," Luke said his voice small. "I…I actually didn't have to be at work that night. But I went there after having a fight with Noah."
"What were you and Noah arguing about?"
"Randy."
"Has he always been a source of derision between you and your partner?"
"Yes ma'am."
"So I am just trying to understand…you have no romantic feelings for Mr. Thompson?"
"NO," Luke said adamantly. "I love Noah. Just Noah. But he was jealous of Randy and he thought that…he accused me of cheating on him. So I left and went to work after all."
"So Mr. Thompson has romantic feelings for you?"
Luke blinked but refused to answer the question. He lowered his head instead and played with his fingers.
"Luke," Margo said reaching out her hand to cover his. "I know this is tough, and I'm asking difficult questions…but I only want to help. And I know that when we bring Randy in here he will try to put his spin on what happened. So I need to know the whole story okay?"
Luke nodded and bit his lip. "I didn't think he still had feelings for me," He said after a moment's pause. "I thought he understood that I only loved Noah."
"Did you ever have feelings for Mr. Thompson, Luke?"
"No…I flirted with him when we first met, but I never had eyes for anyone but Noah. And he said he understood that."
"Okay," Margo said keeping her voice gentle. "So how about you tell me what happened on the night in question. Start wherever you feel you need to for me to get a complete picture."
"Okay," Luke said frowning. This would be the most detailed telling of the story…and he didn't' plan on saying it again after this. "We had a dinner party that night, me, Noah and our friends. It was supposed to be our new tradition…but things didn't go according to plan really."
"Why's that?" Margo inquired.
"There was a storm that night, and it caused a power outage…and so we ended up having dinner in the dark."
"Who was there?"
"Maddie, James and Randy were the only ones who made it. Gwen and Will had backed out thanks to the storm, and Aaron called me later to apologize for not making it."
"Okay, how was Randy's behavior during the night?"
"He was very crude," Luke said frowning. "I wasn't around when he first arrived, but he kept making comments in my presence; they were highly inappropriate. I thought he was just doing it to get a rise out of Noah, and I told him to knock it off. James told him he should quit it as well."
Luke paused and chewed on his lip for a moment. There wasn't much more he could say to stall the inevitable. The cast had been set
"Anyway," he said sighing, "Noah and Randy were in the living room, while James and I were cleaning up the kitchen and Maddie was in the restroom. I don't know what was said between Randy and Noah…but Noah hit him just as the lights came back on. I sent everyone home after that and I turned on Noah and asked him why he did that?"
"Were you upset with Noah specifically because he hit him?" Margo inquired.
Luke frowned. "Why is that important?" he asked curiously.
"I'm trying to figure out your state of mind when you left," Margo explained.
"I wasn't mad at Nah for any romantic notions if that is what you are getting at," Luke said crossly. He frowned and looked apologetic at Margo. He knew she was only doing her job. "I just didn't like the fact that he hit him while we had company. But I didn't communicate that well, and I was hurt that he accused me of cheating on him so I left. And I went to the station. And I tried to work on Noah's speech, but I was distracted by thoughts of Noah."
"And that's where you were when Randy came in?"
Luke nodded as he began to lose himself in the memory of that night. "I was writing when he showed up at the door. He told me that Katie had sent him to the station to do something."
"Wait," Margo cut him off. "My sister wasn't even in town the night before Thanksgiving. She frowned, "Go on."
"He said he was there because of Katie, and he came in and I apologized for Noah's behavior earlier…he asked me if I was okay. I played it off, telling him I was fine but he pulled me up into a hug anyway. That moment, I needed that more than anything…so I hugged him back. It was just a hug, a simple hug between friends." He paused in his speech and took a deep breath.
"Keep going, Luke. You're doing great, just keep talking," Margo soothed.
"I thanked him for the hug. And I told him I was glad that he was such a good friend. And that's when he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, and asked him what he thought he was doing."
"What did he say when you told him that?" Margo asked.
"He said he was giving me what Noah couldn't…and it was time for me to stop playing this game. And he kept saying that too," Luke mused, "that I was playing with him and it was time for it to stop. He said I owed him for being so patient while Noah broke my heart time and time again. I tried to protest, tried to tell him I owed him nothing but he wouldn't listen."
"How did he react to your protests Luke?"
"He kissed me again," Luke admitted, cringing as he watched these events play out in his mind.
"I pushed him away again and told him this was wrong. He insisted that it wasn't…that what he felt for me was real, and he was sure I would feel it too if I just gave in to it. He tried to tell me that Noah wasn't right for me and never had been." Luke paused in his story long enough to glance at Margo who was listening with a frown set on her face.
"You have no romantic feelings for Randy, correct?"
"No, I love Noah," Luke's tone was sincere as he continued with his story. "I love Noah, and I told him that. And I told him that where I belonged was back with Noah so I was going to go home, and that's…that's when he grabbed me. He was scaring me, and I told him that. I told him to let go…I just wanted to go home, but he wouldn't let me go. He wouldn't let me leave."
Despite himself he was trembling, and he looked down at his hands again.
"Luke, keep going," Margo encouraged. "Why wouldn't he let you leave?"
"Because he said I owed him, and he wanted his payment…and he was going to get it. It didn't even matter to him that he was scaring me…and hurting me.; He didn't care, he just kissed me again. He forced his tongue down my throat, and I almost choked…but I never kissed back."
"Did you try to push him away."
Luke nodded. "He's a lot bigger though…and I was still recovering from being in the hospital. The infection hadn't completely gone away. I tried though," Luke continued picking up the thread of story again. "I tried to get away but he held on tighter and wouldn't let me get away. And then his hands…they started to touch me. He ripped my shirt because I didn't make it easy for him to get it off. He ripped it…and I felt so helpless and afraid. I just wanted him to stop," He said looking into Margo's sympathetic eyes.
"Every touch made me feel dirty, and every kiss made me sick. His mouth and his hands…touching me where he had no right to…and I felt, I felt like I wanted to die. I just wanted my life to be over in that moment."
"Well there are a whole lot of people who are very glad you aren't dead, Luke. You think you can tell me the rest?"
Luke swallowed. I…I didn't stop fighting until he had me pinned to the floor and I heard ripping….and he held me down….and told me to stop squirming because I was going to enjoy this. And then he just….he just…it hurt. He did it so fast it hurt and I just laid there….with tears in my eyes waiting for it to be over. And I tried to just ignore the pain, but I…" he shook his head and trailed off.
Margo reached out for him and squeezed his arm gently. "I know this is hard for you, Luke, but I'm afraid I need to make it harder." She paused momentarily trapped in her own thoughts. She knew this would be hard for Luke…it was a hell she wouldn't wish on anyone. She knew it all too well. "I need to know everything," she explained. "Spare no detail, it's important that we know exactly what happened…tell me what Randy did to you."
"I was trying to spare you the details," he said grimly.
"Why's that," Margo asked leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. "is it because I'm a woman?"
"I think I'm the last person to play the discrimination game, Margo," Luke quipped.
A sad smile crossed Margo's lips and she squeezed Luke's arm before growing serious again. "I know where you are, Luke, in that place where the last thing you want to do is talk about it…and you definitely don't want to give a play by play. The visuals aren't pretty, but I am a cop…and right now I need you to talk to me like I'm a cop, and not the mother of one of your good friends...and if it helps, think of me as someone who can relate too."
"I have bruises," he started after a lengthy silence. They are faded now…but they're still there."
"Tell me about the bruises Luke."
Luke rolled up his sleeve and pointed to a patch of skin. It was significantly darker then the rest of his arm, and Margo closed her eyes momentarily to slip her cop mask back into place.
"This is where he grabbed my arm, and he held it in a vice grip. When I tried to pull away the first time he tightened his hold on me and told me I wasn't going anywhere. There was nothing gentle about his touch," He said tracing his skin with his fingers. "It was rough, abrasive…demanding, and I tried to get away from it…I tried to get him to stop but he kept pulling me back in. Each time I struggled, his hold tightened, and I could no longer see the man I thought I knew in those eyes. It was like finding out that my "friend" Randy never existed."
He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to think. If he was going to do this, he needed to do it…he needed to share everything…every little detail so that Randy could go away for a very long time.
"I could feel his hot breath on my neck, as he spoke to me and told me that it was time to pay. He…licked my neck…starting at the base and licking up past my chin. I was no longer a person…but a prize to be claimed…and I was so scared. He was still holding me with one hand…tight…my arm was purple the next day. His other hand was just groping, as if he had to sample first. And he kept licking like a child with a lollipop. HE grabbed a hold of my crotch and squeezed it really hard. At that point I tried one more time to get away…and my phone rang but not even that deterred him."
He stopped again and squirmed in his seat. He was talking but he wasn't certain if he was making any sense. He was trying as it was to reveal what happened to the best of his ability, and he was grateful that no one else would hear these details.
"Three times…that's how many times he kissed me before he started ripping my shirt. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and down my throat. I thought i was going to gag. I could hear the ripping, and I could hear my muffled attempts of protest…and I was pulled to the floor. I was growing weak…quickly but I still fought, I still tried to make my discomfort known. It just wasn't doing any good.
"He pinned me to the floor, his knees straddling me, pressing against my hips to keep me from moving. I closed my eyes…I didn't want to see what he was doing, but he grabbed my hair and made me open them. He said he wanted me to see this because he was certain I would enjoy it. And there was more ripping, more touching and squeezing. He said he wanted me to remember his hands, his touch and he said that I would forget all about Noah."
"When did you stop fighting?"
"When he entered me," Luke's voice was laced with pain and he swallowed before he continued. "It was like this intense pain ripping through me and I think I screamed…or I tried to. He covered my mouth and told me to be quiet and he thrust, hard and fast. I just couldn't fight anymore…I just wanted it to be over and the pain…" he shook his head and sighed. "I just laid there and waited for him to be finished."
"And when it was over?" Margo prompted.
"When it was over, Randy collapsed against me and forced me into another kiss. I was just numb…I just wanted him to leave me alone. He said I did good, and that was better than he had hoped."
Luke cringed and licked his lips. He hadn't admitted this to anyone before, and he wasn't certain how anyone would take it if they knew. I was trembling and my heart was beating fast…I just wanted him to get up…I wanted him to go away and just let me be."
"But he didn't…he wasn't done using my body yet."
"How long?" Margo asked.
"I blacked out…I'm not even sure. When I came to, he was gone and I was alone in the room. I just pulled myself into a ball and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I just wanted to go home."
"So you gathered your things and you left? Why didn't you go to the hospital?"
"I knew that was the logical thing to do, but I just couldn't. I just didn't want to deal with the hospital and the questions and I certainly didn't want anyone to touch me. So I covered myself with my torn clothes and went home and fell asleep on the couch."
"You slept in the clothes?"
Luke nodded. "Noah was home, I couldn't go into our bedroom with fear of him waking up and asking questions. I wanted out of those clothes so badly but it had to wait till morning, when Noah was gone. I couldn't get out of those clothes quick enough…I put them in a bag and hid that bag in the back of the closet…that's where Noah found them."
"And did you have any more contact with Mr. Thompson after that night?"
"He called me that morning…three times. Twice on my cell phone, and once on our home phone."
"Tell me about the calls."
"He called just as I finished my shower," Luke explained. "I answered it because I thought it might be Noah…but I froze as soon as I heard Randy's voice. He claimed to be worried about me and he asked me if I was still recovering from last night. I hung up on him and then I got sick. My phone rang again but I didn't answer it that time. I was afraid it would be Randy again"
"You did answer the phone again that day, right?"
"Yeah…I answered it because I didn't want to worry Noah. It was Randy and he continued to taunt me. I told him to forget he ever knew me…to forget my name because I never wanted to see him again. He wanted to know if I was still thinking about it and I just…the truth was I was still thinking about it because I couldn't' get those memories to go away. Even in the shower I was recalling his hands."
"Was he more taunting during the second call, Luke?" Margo asked, gently holding on to Luke's attention. She didn't think he'd do himself any justice if he got lost in his memories.
"he said he wouldn't tell Noah about our affair and he was looking at where it had happened. I threw my phone after that. It hit the wall and then started ringing again so I smashed it."
"Okay, you said Randy called one more time right?"
"I didn't answer the phone the last time…I just screened it. and Randy was talking about how I should pick up the phone because I won't want Noah to know and he wanted to come over and continue where we left off and…I just snapped. I turned off the ringer on the phone and…" he shook his head and looked seriously at Margo.
"I know I shouldn't have…but that was the moment I started drinking again. I just couldn't take it anymore and I wanted all those thoughts to go away."
"I think we can overlook that under the circumstances…are you drinking now?"
"No, ma'am. I stopped right before Christmas."
"What prompted you to stop?"
"Well…just to backtrack a bit I had two other encounters with Randy. One was a phone call, just a week after it happened. I was home alone and Noah had called, and then James so I thought one of them was calling me back. It turned out to be Randy, and he said that he was going to come to the apartment because he missed me. I hung on him again and I didn't hear from him until I went to the station to talk to Noah."
"And when did you do that?"
"December 17th, a week before Christmas," Luke replied. "I realized that I needed help and I…I missed Noah. I was afraid to talk to him, but I missed him and I went to WOAK to find Maddie to talk to her about it. And instead I found Noah and he was with Randy, and they were standing….in that spot. I opened the door and they turned to face me. Two pairs of eyes…both of them blue. Noah's were filled with concern and Randy's…I ran from them, from those eyes that even at that moment were undressing me and it made me feel dirty all over again. I saw him one more time in the parking lot and he acted like I was being impolite for not speaking to him. Those eyes just wouldn't stop taunting me."
"Was that the last time you saw him?"
Luke shook his head. "He's been hanging around Noah," he explained. "He called the farm on Christmas day and my mom talked to him…she invited him over to the farm and I freaked, so Noah and I went home…and then I didn't see Randy again until my mom brought him over to the apartment. He was there in my living room, standing there with a smug look on his face as he talked to Noah. I tried hard to ignore him, but then I snapped at him…that was just last week."
"Okay, we're getting close to the end here, Luke. "What brought you here today? What pushed you to your breaking point?"
"I don't want Noah to get into any trouble," he said causing Margo to raise her eyebrows. "I mean what I am about to say, he won't get in trouble will he?"
"No, Noah won't get into trouble Luke. What's this about?"
Randy has been taking advantage of the fact that Noah has amnesia," Luke explained. "And yesterday, he crossed the line."
"What happened?" Margo asked, her frown deepening.
"Randy told Noah that I enjoy aggressive, rough sex. He said that I liked being dominated and that Noah should try it."
"Oh no," Margo groaned, knowing where this was going.
"Noah listened to him."
"And I imagine that brought all your fears to the surface right?"
"Yeah," Luke admitted and "I was so scared of Noah, yesterday. And I'm sure most of that is because of the eyes and the fact that my nightmares were constant now that I was in my home again…but it just…"
"It must have been tough," Margo interjected, "Seeing as Noah is the one person you felt safe with."
"Yes ma'am and that security has been rocked to its core, but something good came out of yesterday. I may be back to not wanting to be touched…but I was able to say Randy's name and put a name to what he did. And that's what brings me here today."
A soft smile crossed Margo's lips. "You are very brave Luke. I know that was hard for you. I think we are just about done here. I just have to ask you one more thing, okay?"
"Okay, I think I can handle one more question."
"With everything you have told me today, are you prepared to press charges against Randy Thompson?"
"Yes," Luke, said, immediately feeling lighter once he said the word. "Yes, I want to press charges against him. I want to put this behind me. I don't want him to get away with hurting me, or Noah."
"Okay then," Margo said getting to her feet. Tell me where Randy is today, and I will send someone to get him now."
"He should be at work…with Maddie."
Margo placed a hand on Luke's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I want you to know that I'm very proud of you, Luke." She smiled and went to the door to dispatch officers to WOAK." Luke covered his face and ran his hands through his hair. He felt emotionally drained, and he knew he was nowhere near being finished. As soon as Margo told him he could move, he thanked her and let himself out of the room. He saw his dad waiting for him and immediately went to him for a hug.
"Are you okay?" Holden asked when they pulled apart.
"I need to talk to Noah," Luke said. I'll be okay after I talked to him."
Holden nodded and squeezed his son's shoulder. "I'm proud of you, son."
Luke acknowledged his dad's statement, even as he pulled out his cell phone. "Call Noah please," he said using the voice prompt because he didn't trust himself to touch the keypad at the moment.
As soon as he heard that familiar voice a smile crossed his lips. It was as if in that moment nothing else mattered…the worries and the fears were forgotten in this moment…and all that matters was that he had answered the phone.
"Hi," he said letting out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "I was calling to see how you're doing. Is your day going okay so far?"
"I'm more concerned about you," Noah's voice was like a balm on Luke's nerves. He welcomed the comfort, and wished it could always be this simple. "How did it go?"
"I got through it," Luke said, his tone light. And…I do feel a little better, now that I've talked to you."
"Well I'm glad that talking with me seems to help. Are you sure you don't want me to come down and be with you?"
"You have no idea how much I wish…I don't think you need to be here when they bring Randy in, Noah. Could you just talk to me?"
"OF course I can do that," Noah replied easily. "How is your dad? I am sure he must be pretty upset."
"Dad looks like he's about ready to kill. I'm just glad that he didn't have to hear all the details. I'm glad you didn't have to hear them either. I still can't believe I said all of that. This is just so emotionally draining, Noah. I think I'm still reeling."
"I'm sure you are," Noah said his voice full of compassion. "That must have been so horrible for you to have to relive. I…I still feel so awful that I listened to that creep and almost hurt you again."
"I know you're sorry."
"I would never forgive myself if I hurt you," Noah continued. "is there anything that I can do here at home for you?"
Luke smiled. "Are you taking care of yourself?" he asked. "I'm okay as long as you are alright."
"Yes, I'm trying to. I did my exercises and I ate a little. I miss you though."
"I miss you too, especially at moments like this." Luke sighed. "Can I be completely selfish for a minute?"
"Sure you can, Luke. I am here for whatever you need. You just say the word."
"Can't," Luke said frowning. "Because what I want, you can't really give me because it's not that simple. I mean, I wish you could be here, I wish you could know why I need you here and I wish that I could just let you chase things away, but I'm apparently not good at wishing games lately, Noah. "I'm not having such good luck with holidays either. Here it is Valentine's Day and I'm stuck in the police station…and this would have been our first Valentine's."
"Luke," Noah said, concern clear in his voice. "I wish I could make this better for you. I don't think that was a bit selfish. Maybe I can do something for us for dinner, since its Valentine's day."
"You don't have to do that, Noah."
"NO, its okay I want to. Please don't' worry about me. You just take care of you. I will be waiting when you get home, okay?"
Luke felt his smile widen just a bit. "And that is why I fell in love with you in the first place," he marveled. "Thanks Noah…I just needed to hear your voice, so thank you."
"You're so welcome, Luke. You hang in there and don't hesitate to call me back if you need me. I'll come to you as quick as I can, if you need me there. Though you'll have to give me directions."
Luke laughed. "I better go," he said sadly. "See you when I get home."
"You take care, Luke. "I'll see you when you get here."
"Come in," Maddie responded to the knock on the door. She heard the door open and knew the moment that someone was behind her. "May I help you," she said turning around, startled to see a uniformed officer standing before her. "is there something I can help you with officer…"
"Morgan," the police officer said showing his badge. "I am looking for Randy Thompson. I was told he would be here."
"I'm Randy Thompson," Randy said entering the room. "is there something I can help you with?"
"I need you to come with me," Officer Morgan said turning to Randy.
"Am I being arrested?" Randy asked frowning. "What is this about?"
"Your presence is requested at the police station," the officer repeater. "The chief of police wishes to speak with you."
"Why," Randy asked crossing his arms.
"Yours is not to question why, Mr. Thompson. If the Chief of Police wants to speak with you then you come and see what she wants."
Maddie couldn't help the smirk that crossed her lips as she continued to work on the production report. She had a pretty good idea what Randy was being brought in for. She wondered momentarily how Luke was doing. She knew talking to the police couldn't have been easy for him.
"Fine, let's go," Randy said crossly. "I don't understand why she wants to see me. It's not like I did anything wrong."
Maddie rolled her eyes and smiled with Officer Morgan said goodbye to her. She glanced over her report one last time before placing it in a folder and putting it in the desk. She would work on that tomorrow. Right she had a friend who most likely needed her help.
"Luke," Margo touched his shoulder and he looked up at her. His father had managed to convince him that pacing wouldn't make time go any quicker. The waiting was driving him crazy, and he almost wished he had taken Noah up on his offer.
"Yes ma'am?" he asked a frown settling on his lips.
"I need to ask you another question before Randy gets here. Can I speak with you alone?"
"I guess so," Luke said standing slowly. He followed behind Margo, with his hands in his pockets and his head bowed. He really didn't know what more she could ask him.
"There's something important that I forgot to ask you," Margo said closing the door and gesturing for Luke to take a seat
"More about Randy?"
"Yes, I'm afraid there's something we overlooked. Was Randy using a condom, Luke?"
Realization dawned on him even before he opened his mouth to respond. "N…no, he didn't use one."
"Okay," Margo said, gently. She wanted to ease Luke's panic as best she could. She could see in his eyes that he was growing concerned. "It's alright, Luke. Don't panic, it's nothing to concern yourself with at this moment. You will need to be tested though, and Noah too."
"OH god," Luke said, his hand covering his mouth as he turned a weirs shade of green. Margo quickly grabbed the trash can and made it just in time to catch Luke's vomit. "I'm sorry," he said weakly once his stomach was empty.
"IT's alright, Luke. That's why god created trash cans." She rubbed his back and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I don't want you to worry about this just yet, Luke. I just wanted to make you aware of it
"But, you're pretty much telling me, that I need to get myself and Noah tested for HIV and other STD's. I could have exposed Noah to something…that's just not right. I can't believe I did that…god."
"Enough of that," Margo said sternly, cupping Luke's face with her hand. "I don't want to hear you berating yourself anymore, you understand? You didn't do anything wrong, Luke. And you have so much on your plate already, don't stress yourself out…you need to be strong to face down your final demon. And you know that even after you do that, the worst isn't over. This will have to go to trial most likely, and you need to be up for that. Now can I count on you to be strong?"
"Yes, Ma'am," Luke said, wiping away the two tears that dared to contradict his words. "I'll be okay."
"Good," Margo said letting go of his face. "Now come on, I think Mr. Thompson has arrived.
"Hey Margo?"
"Yes, Luke?"
"Can I have…a hug…maybe?"
Margo smiled and held her arms out for Luke, holding on to him for a long moment.
"Will you tell me what this is about now?" Randy asked as he was escorted into the police station.
"If you will follow me in here, Mr. Thompson," Margo said stepping up, "I'd be happy to explain why you are here."
Randy followed the woman into an empty room. He settled into one of the chairs and waited to see what this woman had to say.
"Mr. Thompson" Margo started, "there has been a very serious allegation brought against you. Can you tell me where you were on the night of November 21, 2007?"
"I was at a dinner party with friends," Randy replied
"You were at this party all evening? I will need names of the others who were there to verify your story."
"Not the whole night, no. The party broke up shortly after a blackout. Besides myself, the guests were Madeline Coleman, Luke Snyder, Noah Mayer and James Mcp…something. I don't remember his last name," Randy shrugged. "But the party broke up after Noah decided to assault me."
"Explain please," Margo said folding her hands in front of her. "Why would Noah assault you?"
"Because he was jealous," Randy retorted. "He resented my friendship with Luke, and was upset that Luke preferred to spend time with me then him."
"What leads you to believe that Luke would rather spend tiem with you than his husband?" Margo inquired. "And if you are saying Noah assaulted you why didn't you file a report?"
"Because I didn't want to hurt Luke, by being jealous back," Randy said smoothly. And Luke always says he wants to spend more time with me. He only doesn't because Noah complains all the time. He doesn't love Noah, he just feels sorry for him."
'After Noah hit you, and the dinner party broke up, where did you go?" Margo asked taking control of the conversation..
"I was called into work soon after I left. What is this about if I may ask?"
"I will ask the questions, Mr. Thompson if you don't mind. Who called you into work?"
"My boss," Randy replied. "Katie Peretti…she said she needed me to check on the Thanksgiving show. She said there were some details she had forgotten."
Margo crosses her arms and leaned forward on the table. Are you from Oakdale, Mr. Thompson?"
"No, I just moved here over the summer though I think that is irrelevant."
"I will be the judge of that," Margo stated. "I was curious because Ms. Peretti is my sister, and I know for a fact that she was out of town, and there were no tapings scheduled for Thanksgiving day. It was pre-taped the week before. So, let's try this again. Why did you go to the studio that evening?"
Randy sighed and shook his head. "He is going to be so mad at me," he mumbled under his breath. "But he will get over it, if he realizes I had no choice."
"Excuse me?" Margo said raising her eyebrows.
"Luke made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone, but I went to see him. It's our secret rendezvous spot. It was all planned you see. After dinner we were supposed to meet up there, separately of course. It didn't go according to plan, thanks to Noah. But we still managed to keep our meeting."
"I see," Margo said her tone neutral. "So what you're saying is that you didn't follow Mr.
Snyder to WOAK."
"Not at all," Randy replied amiably. "Is that what he told you?"
"How long, Mr. Thompson would you say these "secret" meetings have been taking place between you and Mr. Snyder?"
Randy smirked. "We have then whenever time allows. Sometimes its once a week, sometimes its three times a week. And we always meet up on Wednesday nights. November 21st was no exception. We didn't meet up much after that, I think Noah kept him on a short leash."
"Mr. Thompson, did you have intercourse with Mr. Snyder on the night in question?"
"I don't think that is any of your concern?"
"Mr., Thompson," Margo said leaning forward once more. "Do you realize where you are sitting? Anything I ask you is my concern. Now you can either answer the question or I am putting you in a holding cell."
"Okay if you want to play hardball. Yes, as a matter of fact I did."
"And was the act consensual by both parties?"
"Yes," Randy said smiling sweetly. "I don't want to bore you with the details of my sexual escapades with Luke, but that particular night was very nice indeed."
"Don't get smart with me, young man, just answer the questions. Now can you explain to me why Mr. Snyder is still sporting bruises from this alleged consensual event?"
"Oh those?" Randy said shaking his head. "Luke is very clumsy, and he bruises easily. Hw as being a little…rough that night so he did get bruised pretty badly."
"Mr. Thompson," Margo said reaching for the evidence bag. "Do you recognize these?"
"It looks like a bunch of torn rags to me." Randy commented, wrinkling his nose.
"So you don't recognize these, Mr. Thompson?"
"Should I?"
"Mr. Snyder has identified these "rags" as the clothes he was wearing on the night in question. Can you tell me how these clothes came to be in this condition?"
"IF I didn't even realize they were clothes, how would I know" Randy retorted. "Luke was fine with I left him. You can't expect me to know why his clothes are ripped to shreds," he shrugged his shoulders. "Noah probably smelled my scent on them and got territorial and ripped them himself."
"Mr. Thompson when you engaged in intercourse with Mr. Snyder were clothes removed."
"His were, yes. I do believe that is what happens when two people make love."
"Mr. Thompson Can you explain to me how your DNA Came to be on Mr. Snyder's clothing?"
"I do not have to answer these questions," Randy said standing. "I think you are entirely rude and I want to speak with y our supervisor."
"Mr. Thompson," Margo said standing and placing her palms fat on the desk, "Unless you want to find yourself sitting in a holding cell for the remainder of the day and night, I suggest you answer my question. I am the supervisor and I don't care if you think I am rude. My job is to ask the hard questions when things happen. So you really only have two choices. Answer the questions or sit in a holding cell. What's it going to be?"
"Fine," Randy said sitting back down. "I don't see what you think you are getting at by asking me about my sex life. Of course my DNA is on Luke's clothes, he is my lover, and we had sex that night. If Luke is saying otherwise it's because he still doesn't want it to be known. He likes keeping secrets."
Margo continued standing, looking squarely at Randy. "Mr. Thompson, I am asking about your sex life because as I told you earlier very serious allegations have been made against you. Now after the night in question, did you speak with Mr. Snyder again?"
"I spoke with him the next day. I wanted to let him know that I had a good time with him. In fact I talked to him a few times the next day. We kept getting disconnected."
"And after that have you had any contact with Mr. Snyder."
"I talked to him again about a week later, but then not so much. He just disappeared, like I said I think Noah caught him so he had to cool it down. I asked his mom about him on Christmas, but he was gone by the time I came to the farm. And then I saw him last week. But that was just for a few minutes, he seemed highly upset and he was yelling at his mother."
"Anything else you feel that I need to know about your relationship with Mr. Snyder?"
"I don't think there's anything more you need to know. So can I can go now?"
"No, Mr. Thompson, I'm afraid not."
"Why not?" Randy asked indignantly. "You can't keep me here."
"Mr. Snyder has decided to press charges against you for rape and harassment. A warrant for your arrest has been issued and at this time I am going to have an officer mirandize you and you will be taken for booking and you will remain in custody until such time as a judge sees fit to have a bond hearing for you. Do you have any questions?"
Randy crossed his arms. "Luke can claim whatever he wants, but I know the truth. And I didn't do anything wrong. Rape indeed, as if. He needs to stop getting me confused with that jerk he insists on staying with. He's the ass you should be after, not me."
Mr. Thompson," Margo said her voice leaving no room for argument, "as of right now I would advise you to shut your mouth, and not say another word. Mr. Snyder has made no claim against Mr. Mayer, his claim is against you. Now it will be up to a judge to decide your innocence or guilt not me."
"Well if this is the way that Luke chooses to play it then so be it. Do what you have to do, I know who's telling the truth here and soon everyone else will too."
"Alright Mr. Thompson, on your feet. Let's go."
"Am I doing the right thing?" Luke asked for what seemed the fifteenth time. He knew his father and his cousin had be getting frustrated with him, but neither of them showed it on their faces. "I mean, this doesn't end today. I just know that he's in there lying…and this is going to get dragged through court. I should…"
"Easy, Luke," Holden said stopping his son's flow of words. "You are doing the right thing. Randy deserves to pay for what he did to you."
"HE's not going to admit it," Luke said sadly. He sighed and got up from his seat. "I'm going to call Noah again. "I need to calm down."
A hand covered his before he could dial the number and he looked up to see Maddie standing in front of him. Without a word he collapsed into her arms and held on tight.
"What are you doing here?" he asked pulling her away to look at her. "I'm glad you're here," he pulled her into another hug and she just smiled, trying to soothe him by rubbing his back gently.
"OF course I'm here," she said pulling away from him after a moment. "How are you"?"
"I'm a nervous wreck, Maddie," He admitted. "This waiting is driving me crazy…and even though I talked to Noah I can't calm down completely. It's maddening. He's in there…in that room, and I just know he's not telling the truth and this is going to go on for a very long time."
"Maddie placed a hand on Luke's cheek as she leveled her gaze at him. "You need to cool it before you make yourself sick." She scolded lightly. Her phone rang at that moment and she sighed before answering it. "Hello….Hi Noah, is everything okay? Yes…yes…Okay, I'll be right over, just stay put."
"Go make sure Noah is okay," Luke said as she turned to face him again. "I'll be alright here."
"Are you sure?" she said frowning. Her friend looked miserable and she hated seeing him that way.
"Yes, I'm sure. I don't want Noah to be alone if he's freaked so go see what's wrong with him.; Take care of him for me until I get there okay?"
"No worries," Maddie said giving him another hug. "I will watch over Noah. You hang in there…things are going to be better after today. You talked about it…that's a big step, the first step" she squeezed his hand and turned to leave the precinct. She said good bye to Holden and Jack and dialed her boyfriend's number as she headed out to her car.
"Hey sweetie," she said when Jams picked up. "If you aren't busy, Luke cou7ld really use you down at the police station. He's waiting for Mrs. Hughes to finish talking to Randy and he seems pretty frazzled. I know I could count on you, I love you too….bye"
He was still standing when Margo led Randy out of the interrogation room. Randy looked bored, and Luke froze the moment those blue eyes made contact with him.
"Dallas can you read Mr. Thompson his rights and get the ball rolling there. Get him to booking so we can process him quickly and get him into a cell. "Mr. Thompson I need your signature on this sworn statement, and Luke I'm going to need your signature too."
"Yes, ma'am," Luke said breaking out of his daze. He walked toward Margo and took the pen and paper she held out for him. He tried to steady his hand before putting it to paper so he could sign. He felt like he was signing his life away.
'Randall Thompson you are under arrest for the assault and harassment of Luke Snyder. You have the right to remain silent," he heard Dallas begin. "Anything you cay can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney one will be assigned to you by the courts. Do you understand these rights as they have been explained to you?"
Luke felt a little better when Dallas slapped the hand cuffs around Randy's wrists. His calm was short lived however when Randy locked eyes as he was led away. "You will regret this Luke," he said stopping when he was close enough to Luke to unnerve him. ""I was the best lover you ever had and you know you're going to miss me."
"You're sick," Luke said refusing to be baited by him this time. He turned away from those eyes and headed back to where his father was sitting. He didn't want to stare at Randy anymore.
"You can't even face me can you," Randy called after him. "The guilt is eating at you already. You know you're lying and you can't stand it." Luke stopped but he didn't turn around, he was not going to give Randy the time of day, not this time. "Noah must be really jealous of our relationship."
"What did you say," Luke said turning, his fists clenched as he glared at the other man.
"Noah," Randy said again smugly. "He must be really jealous our relationship since he was asking me for advice on how to make you happy. I hope you don't mind that I gave him some pointers."
"SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!" Luke raged as he charged forward, grabbing a hold of Randy's shirt and slamming him against the wall. "You shut up right now, and don't you ever, ever utter Noah's name again you understand? He is a far better man, a far better person than you could ever hope to be, and I hate you. I hate you."
James could hear the yelling even before he entered the precinct. He felt a sense of déjà vu as he realized it was Luke who was yelling, and he jogged the rest of the way in, just in time to see Holden and Jack moving forward to get Luke away from Randy."
"I am very disappointed in you, Luke," Randy taunted. "I didn't think you were really that cruel."
"You're the cruel one," Luke yelled as he struggled to get out of Holden and Jack's combined grip. "You hurt me, and all I ever did was try to be your friend. I was your friend, Randy and you repay me by taking advantage of me. How could you do that to me?"
"All I did was love you, Luke."
"You don't know what that word means," Luke said managing to get away from his father and his cousin and charged at Randy again. "You wouldn't know love if it kicked you here," he said letting his foot hit Randy square in the groin. "That's for me," he said through clenched teeth, and this, " he kicked him again a little harder before he felt hands on him again, "is for hurting Noah, you sick twisted bastard"
"That's enough, Luke," he heard James voice as he was turned around and he found himself looking into piercing green eyes. James placed his hands on Luke's cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. "Breathe," he said, keeping his hold until Luke visibly relaxed. "That's better, keep doing that."
"Will you get him out of here," Jack snapped "Get him finger printed and put in a cell, now. Go." He walked over to where Luke was standing, just as the blond placed his hands on James' shoulders and pulled back slightly. "Are you calm now, Luke," Jack asked, crossing his arms in front of him.
Luke glared at him, and Jack chuckled lightly. You know the Snyder glare is not going to work on Snyders, Luke.
He couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips and he shook his head. "He just makes me so mad," he explained even as his dad came over to join the group. James let go of Luke and tried to move away but Luke held him there and shook his head. "Don't go yet, James, I still need you."
""You have every right to be upset, Luke, but our goal is to keep you out of jail. And if you assault him…you're only going to get yourself in trouble."
"Yeah," James added. "We want to keep you out of jail, Remember?"
"They have a point, Luke, Holden added. "But we're proud of you just the same. You did good today."
"Can we go now? I just want to go home."
"I think that's a good idea," Holden said placing a hand on his son's shoulder. "Let's get back to the farm so you can get your car."
"And I will follow you," James added. "That way I can see you home safely."
"You can meet up with Maddie too," Luke nodded and moved away from the three men who surrounded him. Margo walked out of her office at that moment and Luke went over to her. "Thank you," he said, taking her hands into his. "So much for everything."
"No thanks necessary, Luke. "You did all the work; I was just doing my job. Now get out of here, one of us needs to enjoy Valentine's Day."
The ride to the farm was quiet as both men sat lost in their thoughts. Holden was thinking about Luke, and how hard this was for him. He hated that his son has to go through this. He hated that somehow he had missed it; that his son had been…was suffering and he didn't know how to help him. That was the crux of it…when all was said and done, Holden wasn't sure what to do about this. He supposed that all he could do was be there for Luke…now that he knew, he could do that much.
Luke couldn't believe he had done that…he was still reeling from all that had been revealed that day. And the worst of it…the fact that he needed to tell Noah they could have been exposed to…anything. He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat and tried to focus on something else…something other than the big colossal black hole that he just couldn't seem to pull himself out of. Every time he thought he was out he got sucked back in again and right now…he just wanted to be away from it.
He noticed Lily's car as they pulled into the farm. Luke bristled and looked at his dad sadly. "I can't do this again, Dad. I'm going home to Noah."
Holden gave his son a hug and reiterated that he was there if he needed him. Luke thanked him and got out of the car, walked past his mom and got into his own without saying a word.
"Noah, are you here,' Maddie called as she balanced the bags in her hands.
"I'm in the kitchen," Noah called.
"Can you come help me with…oh thanks" she said as Noah took one of the bags from her. "This is all the stuff you are going to need for the received," she explained as she followed him into the kitchen. "And here's the recipe, do you think you can handle it?"
"I'm going to try," Noah said looking at the directions. "I want to do something special for Luke. He sounded so sad on the phone, he needs cheering up."
"Well I think you will be off to a good start if you make this, and don't forget the garlic. Luke loves garlic."
"Garlic right," Noah said smiling at Maddie. "Thanks Maddie…I hope it wasn't' a bother for you to do this for me.
"Not a bother at all and you are very welcome. Good luck with Luke. I have to go though."
"Can you stay?" Noah pleaded. "If I am alone I'm just going to worry about Luke, and really I don't want to be alone right now please."
Maddie's heart went out to her friend. "Yeah, I think I can stay for awhile…we can cook together."
Noah smiled and looked at the recipe again. It wasn't long before the two of them were busy preparing Noah's special dinner for Luke.
Everything was ready. The sauce was done, the noodles cooked to perfection, and the kitchen was permeated with delicious smells. The table was set, Maddie had brought flowers and Noah ad found the placemats and the special dishes. Noah had hopped in the shower and Maddie was just putting the finishing touches on things when Luke walked through the door, with James right behind him.
"Wow something smells delicious," James exclaimed appreciatively.
"HI," Maddie said coming into the living room to slip into James' arms. "I've missed you."
"Missed you too," James said wrapping his arms around her waist as he leaned to give her a kiss. Luke smiled and went into the dining room. He was touched by the candlelit table and the welcoming smell of pasta and garlic. IT warmed his heart to think that Noah had gone through all this trouble to make tonight special.
Maddie was slipping into her coat when he returned to the living room, and Noah was standing there, barefoot with his shirt open and his hair still damp. Luke's heart skipped a beat. He had forgotten how much he missed "fresh out of the shower" Noah. He longed to go over to him, to slip his arms around him and rest his head against his chest…but he couldn't. It wouldn't be right…it would hurt them both too much.
"Hey," Noah said smiling as he noticed Luke standing there. "Maddie and James were just about to go. They have reservations for dinner tonight. I was trying to get them to stay for dinner instead."
"We don't' want to impose," James said wrapping his arm around Maddie. "Besides you two need a night alone…especially after yesterday."
"I agree with James," Luke said smiling. "It looks like you went through a lot of trouble to make dinner for two, Noah. My mouth is already watering."
"You don't mind being alone with me?" Noah asked a minute after James and Maddie made their exit.
"Not at all," Luke said coming over to place a hand on Noah's cheek. It felt cool to the touch, and he allowed his fingers to warm it for a moment. "I'll go take a shower, and then we can have dinner. I missed you today."
"I missed you too," Noah said as Luke's fingers slipped away from him. He watched Luke head into the bedroom, and then followed him. He had to finish getting ready himself and for the first time since that morning he was smiling.
"Everything looks really good," Luke said as Noah placed a plate in front of him. "You didn't really have to go through all this trouble though."
"IT was no trouble at all," Noah said before heading back into the kitchen. He returned with his own plate and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. "I wanted to do something nice for you. You seemed so sad when I talked to you earlier."
"Not sad, really," Luke said as Noah took his seat. "It was more like a mixture of relief and frazzled nerves. Talking to you was a big help though, so thank you."
"Glad I could help," Noah said focusing on his food. Luke did the same, and they ate for a few minutes in relative silence. The candles danced and the only sounds to be heard were the scraping of forks against plates and the even breathing of the boys. The silence was comfortable, unlike the strain of breakfast.
"So how was your day," Luke asked, his voice soft like a whisper floating across the quiet to meat Noah's ears.
"It was okay," Noah replied, his voice just as soft as his eyes locked with Luke's. "I've been doing a lot of thinking today. Mostly about you"
"Me?" Luke questioned. "What about me?"
"Well," Noah started, a gentle smile crossing his lips. "I was thinking about our first kiss and how it made me feel.. I was so nervous."
"Nervous? You asked me if you could kiss me…and you were nervous."
"Not that kiss, Luke. Our first kiss."
The fork was suspended in air, just inches from Luke's mouth as he looked at his husband. "Our first kiss?" he asked ever so slowly lowering his fork to the plate. He was no longer thinking about food.
"Yeah," Noah's smile widened. "Yeah I remember our first kiss. I can remember being nervous right before too."
"Tell me about it."
"You were fixing my tie," Noah explained. I was standing there, looking into your dark eyes and I knew in that moment that I just had to kiss you. You asked me what was wrong and I told you nothing and then our lips met and for that moment nothing else mattered but you."
Luke couldn't begin to describe the joy he felt at that moment. He was practically beaming as he looked at Noah. Noah remembering was like a glimmer of hope shining through the dark clouds. "Yeah, I was nervous too," he admitted.
"Why were you nervous?" Noah asked curiously.
"Because it was my first kiss," Luke blushed. "I had dreamed about kissing you, and that day when I was looking in your eyes, I wanted it so badly…I didn't' want to do it wrong. OF course there's also the fact that I couldn't believe that you were really kissing me."
"I thought about it a lot," Noah smiled. "And you were so close that day, I just couldn't help myself."
"Do you remember anything else about that day?"
"Not really. That's all so far."
"That's okay," Luke smiled encouragingly. "It's still a nice memory for Valentine's Day."
"Yeah," Noah agreed."
Luke took a hold of Noah's hand and gave it a squeeze, brown eyes meeting blue head on in an intense gaze. "Thank you, Noah. I can't tell you how much that means to me."
"Luke," Noah started after a brief moment of intense silence. "I know that a meal can never make up for what I did, but I want to make it up to you. I think I'm falling in love with you all over again."
The statement warmed Luke's heart and he placed his free hand on Noah's cheek, caressing it lightly as he continued to look at him. "Will you be patient?"
"Absolutely. I will wait forever for you."
"And will you trust my word over anyone else's?"
"Yes I will always ask you before i take anyone else's word again, even if it comes from James or Maddie. "
A soft smile crossed Luke's lips as he leaned over to kiss him. The tender embrace lasted only a moment but Luke allowed his thumb to brush Noah's lips as he spoke.
"Happy Valentine's day Noah…I think I'm falling for you too."