Me: hello people sorry I haven't updated in awhile, GUESS WHAT I have actually been sick, I have appendicitis and I have to get my appendix removed. So I have been really sick so this is why I haven't updated if you have had appendicitis you know how much it hurts.
SO HERE IS THE Naruto OR SAKURA GETTING SUPER STRENGTH POLL:
Naruto: 13 (2 people private messaged me and Halley voted)
Sakura: 7
(SOME PEOPLE VOTED TWICE BUT YOU CAN'T VOTE TWICE SORRY)
So Naruto gets super strength, and Sakura doesn't.
Now the sequel thing I will explain again, I will make a sequel for when Sakura leaves to train with Jiraiya for three years. But Sakura is going with Jiraiya at the moment to just look for Tsunade.
Oh and my friend Halley suggested I put a bit more character into Naruto so that's why I put a little more Inner Naruto in this, and she gave me an idea to make inner Naruto one of those perverted guys who have the funniest and weirdest pick-up lines.
Halley: my bright idea
Me: oh and someone wants the KISA-ITA PAIRING you guys can vote okay if you want it or not
"Are we there yet" Sakura says with a slight whine like when a child is sulking or is whining about something. They carry on walking down the dirt road towards Saino village where they would get clues about the mysterious 'lady' and her whereabouts.
"No" Jiraiya replies back, he too was sick of walking and worst it is a very, very hot day.
"Are we there now?" Sakura asks curiously and Jiraiya sighs.
"No"
"Are we there…"
"No"
"OOH, are we there umm… now"
"Does it look like we are here?"
"No"
"Then obviously we are not"
"OH… Are we there now?"
"Do you see houses?"
"No but maybe they live in the trees"
"Their people not apes"
"Are you sure about that"
"Yes im pretty sure"
"They could be apes in disguise"
"Apes that are in disguise"
"Exactly"
"Or maybe their humans not apes"
"Ooh good one pervy-sage but obviously their apes ooh or maybe their secret agent aliens who dress likes apes in disguise"
"Or maybe their humans in a monkey costume"
"That's ridiculous, that ideas worst than my own"
"Yea your right about that, what was I thinking?"
"I really don't know but are we there yet?"
"No"
"Oh okay, I spy with my little eye something beginning with T"
"Tree"
"Damn it, no you cheated, now I spy with my little eye something starting with P"
"Pine tree"
"Pfft no"
"It's a pine tree isn't it?"
"Um… no it's a um pineapple tree"
"Sure, it is not"
"Is so"
"Fine, go again"
"Okay I spy with my little eye something starting with L"
"Leaves"
"No"
"Land"
"No"
"Um"
"No"
"Hey that didn't count"
"It's a word not a sentence you idiot"
"What?"
"Does 'what' start with L… no"
"What is it than?-sighs- I give up so tell me what it is"
"Leprechaun"
"There is no leprechaun"
"Use your imagination you idiot"
"HEY I AM NOT AN IDIOT, I AM THE SUPER AWESOME JIRAIYA, THE FROG HERMIT, THE AWESOME SAGE, ONE OF THE STRONGEST SHINOBI TEAM CALLED THE SANNINS, AND IM THE ONE THE ONLY"
"Big fat pervert who is an idiot yeah I know"
"You ruined the whole thing kid"
"Never mind ojisan, you can show me the rest after I take you to the retirement home for the mentally disabled, you HAHAHA one of the strongest shinobi HAHAHA you mean the biggest pervert, jeez that is the most absurd thing I have ever heard"
"I AM SUPER STRONG"
"Haha one day I will kick your butt to the next dimension"
"Yes one day in your dreams"
"Sorry your not in my dreams, if you were they'd be nightmares"
"You're just jealous of my awesome abs"
"You're jealous of my awesome abs"
"You have none"
"…SHUT UP"
BACK AT KONOHA WITH NARUTO
'Now we look slick –brushes his hair back- im totally skux baby, hello honey im Inner Naruto or aka James Bond junior stuck in Naruto who is a jerk mind, and its nice to meet your sexiness, did I die because girl your so fine and so sexily divine that I think im in heaven, Ouch girl your hotness is blinding me' Inner Naruto says as it holds up a picture of Hinata.
'What the hell are you doing' Naruto replies back, he is at the moment making rice balls shaped like Hinata's favorite flower, a lily.
'Don't get jealous of my smooth moves, is it just me or is it getting hotter in here because Hinata my girl has just entered the room and she looks mighty fine to me' Inner Naruto says as he hugs a fake Hinata doll, he then twirls it around 'yes baby I took dancing lessons just for you, OOH I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY I WANNA FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY CALLED HINATA' Inner Naruto sings completely out of tune.
'You are an idiot, you're a mixture of a pervert and Sakura with her idiocy' Naruto replies back while scowling at the mental images he now has imprinted in his mind because of inner Naruto.
'Says the one making lily shaped rice balls' Inner Naruto argues back 'oh baby, your lips look so soft, but im not so sure if they are so may I check, is that a yes, oh baby lip testing is beginning' Inner Naruto says and it starts kissing the fake Hinata doll.
'EWW, AT LEAST I DON'T MAKE OUT WITH A FAKE DOLL' Naruto thinks as he holds back his puke.
'Oh yea and making out with your pillow is even better, or the picture you have of her, I am not mentioning what else you have done to that picture, damn nasty' Inner Naruto says 'and by the way, im practicing like how you should be with your nonexistent shinobi skills so we can sweep Hinata off her feet, and instead of making out with your pillow you could make out with her' Inner Naruto adds.
BACK TO SAKURA AND JIRAIYA
"ARE WE THERE YET"
"DID I SAY WE ARE THERE"
"YES JUST THEN"
"SHUT UP"
"PERVY-SAGE, WHO WILL BUY ME A LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF RAMEN SAY WHAT" Sasuke says extremely fast and Jiraiya doesn't under stand what she said
"What?" Jiraiya says utterly confused.
"YAY FREE RAMEN FOR MY WHOLE LIFE" Sakura exclaims and she starts jumping up and down excitedly.
"Your one hyped up kid, I heard after each hit you got from Kiba you got up, same as Neji, maybe its because your super hypo" Jiraiya says and Sakura looks at him with one her eyebrows raised.
"No, it's because I don't give up unlike some people who do, its called SAKURA UZUMAKI'S NINDO, where I always keep my word, see one day I vowed to never give up so now I will never ever give up" Sakura explains and Jiraiya nods.
"By the way im not giving you free ramen" Jiraiya replies back.
"WHAT" Sakura exclaims making Jiraiya chuckle at her.
They start walking into a medium sized village (A/N: I don't want to describe it, practically like the one in the anime I guess)
"WHOA THIS VILLAGE IS SO lame, I expected more than this because don't aliens make better things than this kind of village" Sakura says and Jiraiya standing next to her sweat drops.
"Sakura this is a human village" Jiraiya replies and Sakura sighs in defeat.
"So they aren't actually secret agent aliens acting as apes in disguise, I so thought they were" Sakura says while pouting cutely.
"Let's look for a cheap motel with hot chicks near it" Jiraiya says and they start moving through the crowd of people who are wandering Saino village streets.
WITH ITACHI
Itachi enters his house and he immediately heads to his room so he can get out of his filthy ANBU uniform.
His mission he finished early with the help of a fellow ANBU member called Yamato, the guys' specialty is wood jutsu.
As soon as Itachi changed into a fresh ANBU uniform because it is the only thing he wears just incase he is needed, he is ANBU captain and he does get called to work at crazy hours of the day.
"Son" Itachi hears and then someone knocks on his door. Itachi moves towards the door and twist the handle to open the door to reveal his father.
"Father" Itachi says and he bows his head in respect but Fugaku's hand lands on his shoulder so Itachi raises his head.
"We haven't had the 'talk' yet, and it's about time we discussed this topic" Fugaku says sternly making Itachi slightly nervous but his stoic mask stays in place.
"Of course father, but what talk?" Itachi asks curiously, he has no idea what his father is talking about.
"Sit on the bed Itachi" Fugaku says sternly and Itachi follows instructions without any questions.
"Now we are talking about puberty today" Fugaku starts and Itachi raises an eyebrow.
"But father I know what it is, puberty is the stage of becoming physiologically capable of sexual reproduction, marked by genital maturation, development of secondary sex characteristics, and, in girls, the first occurrence of menstruation" Itachi states and Fugaku lets out a uncharacteristic sigh of relief.
"Good now onto sex" Fugaku starts and Itachi raises an eyebrow.
"Sex, isn't sex male or female gender:either of the two reproductive categories, male or female, of animals and plants" Itachi quotes.
"No sex is when a woman and a man love each other enough to have intercourse" Fugaku explains rather awkwardly.
"Give me a little um demonstration" Itachi says not knowing what he asked is really awkward and weird (a/n: may I remind you he isn't that knowledgeable when it comes to sex, he's been training to be a shinobi all his life, he even missed out on a childhood)
"Er okay son" Fugaku says awkward, Fugaku makes a circle shape with one hand and he points a finger with the other hand.
6 minutes of a demonstration and now it is done
Itachi is slightly blushing and Fugaku is standing looking rather embarrassed.
"So that is oh, I get it father" Itachi says while rubbing the back of his head.
"Yes but sometimes woman get pregnant" Fugaku explains and Itachi gapes.
"Is that how I was made father" Itachi asks hoping the answer was no, long ago he explained to Sasuke that babies came from a baby factory, because he also believed that.
"Yes" Fugaku says feeling rather uncomfortable.
"Wait then how are babies made?" Itachi asks curiously.
'Why can't Mikoto do this 'talk' not me' Fugaku thinks 'Itachi wants too much information which I don't want to give, this conversation is rather awkward' Fugaku thinks after he looks at Itachi face.
"Okay woman have um eggs, and we have sperm" Fugaku explains but Itachi wanted more information.
"Explain" Itachi says and Fugaku sighs.
"Okay um here's a rice ball –pulls a rice ball out of nowhere and he puts it on Itachi's draw- that rice ball is a females unfertilized egg, now I am a tadpole kind of thing, you see sperm to me is like a tadpole, or the fertilizer for the females egg" Fugaku explains and he starts moving like how a tad pole swims. (A/N: Like on the Simpson when homer tells them how I think Maggie was made, I can't remember the exact episode)
10 minutes after a demonstration
Itachi eyes are wide and he is clutching his stomach to stop himself from puking, he is now put of rice balls.
"I –holds down vomit- understand father" Itachi says with his face going green.
"Um good, anyways your mother also told me to tell you we are having rice balls tonight" Fugaku says sternly and he exits the room.
'Woman's unfertilized eggs for, FOR DINNER' Itachi thinks and he rushes out of his room towards the toilet to vomit. As he is rushing towards the toilet he zooms pass Mikoto.
"What's wrong with Itachi dear" Mikoto asks while placing cutlery on the table.
"I gave him the 'talk' nothing to worry about" Fugaku says as he sat at the table.
"Have you seen Sasu-chan" Mikoto asks as she starts placing the plates on the table.
"No, he must be hanging out with Sakura somewhere, damn it I should have gave him the 'talk' earlier" Fugaku says and he takes the news paper Mikoto placed on the table and begins to read it.
"Oh no, you didn't give him the talk your father gave you" Mikoto says with a horrified expression on her face.
"Of course I did, how else would I tell him? It's the only way I know how to explain dear" Fugaku says and he turns to another page.
"Because we couldn't do YOO-HOO for awhile after that because you were traumatized" Mikoto says and her eyes go wide "OH NO, HE'S TRAUMATIZED FUGAKU HOW ELSE WILL I GET GRANDCHILDREN" Mikoto exclaims angrily while narrowing her eyes at her husband.
"The baby factory" Fugaku says smoothly and Mikoto rolls her eyes.
"ITA-BEAR MOMMY IS COMING, MY POOR BABY" Mikoto coed loudly and she heads towards her son.
"EWW NO DADS TADPOLE AND YOUR UN FERTILIZED EGG MADE ME AND THAT'S MEANS YOU TWO DID… EWW" Itachi exclaims uncharacteristically from the bathroom and he vomits once more.
Fugaku drops his paper "ITACHI I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT CHILD BIRTH" Fugaku exclaims and Itachi shivers and vomits again.
WITH SAKURA AND JIRAIYA
"This is the place" Jiraiya says with a huge smiling forming on his face.
"Why because it's next to the prostitution place" Sakura exclaims as she rolls her eyes.
"No that's a strip club" Jiraiya comments.
"Or aka a place filled with prostitutes" Sakura says while shaking her head.
"Hello hot stuff" a lady from behind them purrs and both Jiraiya and Sakura turn to face her. Standing there is a girl with d-cup sized boobs, wearing a tight shirt and a mini skirt, she has dark black hair that reaches her mid-back, and her eyes are dark blue filled with lust. (A/N: eye color and hair color based on the chick who hit on my brother at Supre)
"Hey I told you it is a prostitution place, it's where she belongs since she likes you she is obviously blind" Sakura whispers to Jiraiya but Jiraiya is too busy drooling.
"Hey big guy, want to see my room, im sure you like what you see" the girl purrs out sexily and she turns and begins to walk away with Jiraiya following her like a love struck teenage boy who is just being hit by an enormous amount of hormones.
"Great the damn pervert just ditched me" Sakura murmurs and turns around to see a guy with wavy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes staring at her. 'He obviously is apart of the prostitute house' Sakura thinks to herself as she sees he is only wearing shorts so people could see his toned six pack. He walks over to her and looks her from her toes than up.
"Hey sexy" the man says in a wannabe sexy voice.
"Not interested in getting your cooties combined with the cooties you collected from the many men and women you kissed bye-bye cootie guy" Sakura says and she walks into the motel.
"Damn it I knew standing outside of the stripper club would make people think im one of them" the boy mutters before he walks away slightly embarrassed.
SASUKE TIME
Sasuke arrives in Saino village and searches for Sakura.
'Damn it how hard is it to find a girl with pink hair' Sasuke thinks to himself and suddenly a crowd of people wearing pink hair walked towards him, okay actually walk pass him.
"PINK HAIR WIG DAY, IT'S THE AFTERNOON AND ITS TIME WIG DAY STARTED" A man exclaims and he hands pink wigs to everyone in the crowd without one.
'And it just got better, hang on I will check all the motels' Sasuke thinks to himself and runs into the nearest motel.
"Did a pink haired girl with sea blue eyes and a white haired man come here" Sasuke asks and the lady at the front desk shakes her head so Sasuke takes off towards another motel.
"Did a pink haired girl, my age with sea blue kind of green eyes come here with a old man who has white hair" Sasuke asks.
"No" the man behind the front desk replies and Sasuke takes off towards another one.
BACK IN KONOHA WITH NARUTO
"Hey Hinata-chan, I made this for you" Naruto says with a blushing adorning his cheeks he hands the container filled with lily-shaped rice balls to her.
"No thanks I only eat the best things that are from higher class people like Sasuke-kun" Hinata says snobbishly and Naruto smiles even though he is hurting inside
'Oh and I so wanted to make love to you' Inner Naruto says as he burns a picture of Hinata.
"Oh um I will take them back then" Naruto murmur softly and he takes the container from her hands.
"Good now get lost, come back to me when you have Sasuke-kun with you, oh I have to go" Hinata says and she flips her hair before walking away from a devastated Naruto.
'She didn't even let me touch her boob' Inner Naruto exclaims angrily.
Naruto sighs before he starts walking back home with a sad smile on his face.
Bang
Naruto falls to the ground and clutches his container tight so the contents don't spill out.
"Hey brat, watch where your going" a gruff voice says belonging to Anko.
"Anko" Naruto murmurs and the said person glares fiercely at him.
"Great, just great first Gemna doesn't turn up to our date, secondly I go to look for him and I couldn't find him, thirdly I found out he is dating Hanabi Hyuga that 19year old slut and lastly I walk into a little brat" Anko grumpily says.
"Hey I just got turned down for the hundredth time by Hinata then I crash into you and I even spent two hours making lily shaped rice balls for her" Naruto comments.
"Isn't the rose the little Hyuga's favorite flower" Anko replies.
"Oh great I got them mixed up" Naruto grumbles to himself
"Here give them here" Anko comments and Naruto hand them to her; Anko opens the container and begins to eat the rice balls.
"These are fantastic" Anko exclaims as she chews into another rice ball.
Inner Naruto takes over Narutos body and smile devilishly at Anko "eat another one and I get to touch your boob" Inner Naruto remarks.
"You kinky little bastard" Anko says and she grabs Narutos hand and she puts it on her boob "happy now" Anko grumbles and she eats another rice ball.
'Hey give me back control of my body' Naruto growls.
'No way im getting boob action, their so mushy I could put my face into them, now that sounds like a good idea' Inner Naruto remarks.
"Baby pinch me" Inner Naruto says with a sexy smirk
"Why?" Anko asks as she pushes his hand of her boob.
"Because you're so fine I think im dreaming" Inner Naruto says and he winks at Anko.
"Really" Anko says with a raised eyebrow.
"Hehe playing hard to get are we baby, ow" Inner Naruto says and feigns a look of pain.
"Hey what's wrong?" Anko asks and inner Naruto pouts.
"I have an owie on my lip, can you kiss it better?" inner Naruto says and Anko smirks.
"No, nice try lil boy but im the master of the bedroom and also the master of being sexy" Anko says as they both stand up.
"Then teach me, Anko-sensei" inner Naruto purrs sexily making a slight blush appear on Anko's cheeks.
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING LET ME HAVE CONTROL OVER MY BODY' Naruto exclaims
'Watch and learn outer, watch and learn' Inner Naruto replies back.
BACK TO SAKURA
Knock, knock
Sakura stops unpacking her bag and starts walking towards the door.
"Did the slut leave you already" Sakura comments and she opens the door to reveal a masked man.
"Hello Sakura" Tobi says in a dark sinister voice.
Sakura gulps getting a bad vibe from them "hey masked guy" Sakura replies back.
"We could cut her legs off so we can carry her easily and she also wouldn't be able to run away" a voice behind him comments and Sakura sees a guy with a blue face that looks like a shark.
"Go back to the sea sushi" Sakura hisses out and 'sushi' glares at her.
Me: hey now Halley here decided to write the Anko and Naruto part
Halley: hehe it was funny to write, im here helping her because of her appendicitis
Me: yea but I don't know if I will do an Anko/Naruto pairing it was Halley's idea to do it like that
Halley: hehe oh you should make a lemon
Me: no gross I can't write those just ugh to me
Halley: then I will hehe
Me: I don't think they want a lemon
Halley: they can review if they want one between Anko/Naruto
Me: he's like 12 and Anko is like 23
Halley: so
Me: okay then, what ever. Please review and if you don't like the Anko and Naruto pairing it will stay with Hinata and Naruto
Halley: at least 20 reviews before we update, since I am helping her now that she is super sick