She can't hide no matter how hard she tries
Her secret disguised behind the lies
And at night she cries away her pride
With eyes shut tight staring at her inside
All her friends know why she can't sleep at night
All her family asking if she's alright
All she wants to do is get rid of this hell
Well all she's got to do is stop kidding herself
She can only fool herself for so long
I'm too weak to face me
(she can only fool herself)

Fly with me under the wings I gave you,
Try to be closer to me and I'll save you

Chapter 25

Eiri tiredly opened the wooden door and yawned. Who could have guessed working and studying at the same time could suck this much? He felt like he couldn't walk any more. Limping toward the living room, he threw his coat and briefcase away and cursed Professor Mitchell for giving him such a difficult job. He just wanted to become a professor; he didn't want to die in the process, damn it!

"Howard?"

Not hearing an answer, he guessed that he was already asleep. Slightly disappointed, he threw himself on the couch. He couldn't blame Howard though. It was almost midnight, and Howard was sick. He just wished Howard was awake so they could talk together after a long time. It was like years ago when they used to lie on the bed and chat about worthless things. Something was wrong with Howard. Eiri could almost feel it, but Howard didn't tell him anything, and it was hurting him more than anything. Howard wasn't a quiet type of boy and the fact that he had been silent for over two days was making Eiri scared. Yes, something was definitely wrong with Howard.

Almost falling asleep on the couch, he stood up and stumbled to the bedroom, where he knew his bed and Howard where waiting for him.

He didn't turn on the light, but he instantly knew that something was missing. Sitting on his soft bed, he called Howard one more time, but just like last time, he didn't hear any answer. Now, this was getting strange. Where could Howard be if he wasn't asleep?

Turning on the light, he was met with a silent and clean room with on sign of Howard.

"Howard! Where the hell are you?"

Now fully awake, He ran to the kitchen, then his study room, but Howard wasn't there. Bathroom was a mess. Pieces of the broken mirror in the bathroom were every where, and Howard's medicines, pills and syringes were on the pieces, creating an awful mess.

Heart beating fast with fear, he ran out of the bathroom. He didn't need to think twice to know that something was wrong, but he didn't know what, and it was making him nauseas.

Looking around, his gaze fell on the balcony, Howard favorite place in the whole house, and he took a deep breathe. The glass door was open, and the breeze was making the curtains move to its rhythm. It couldn't be good. It couldn't be good at all.

He slowly walked toward the balcony and stopped at the door. He wasn't sure what he was going to see, and it was scaring the hell out of him. His body was suddenly feeling awfully numb, and for a moment he wished that he was still in the hospital.

"Howard?"

He still heard no answer. Taking a deep breath and stepped inside, but then he wished he hadn't. All he was seeing was red liquid. The red blood had covered the floor, making it shine under the moon light, and on the blood, was lying Howard, with a piece of a broken mirror on his, now lifeless hand. His skin was pale, too pale and his mouth was slightly open. There was no smile on those lips though. No glitter in those beautiful eyes. For a moment, Eiri thought that maybe Howard was dead…

He didn't know how, but somehow, he found himself kneeling next to Howard's body, hugging him close to his chest. There was no pulse, no breathing, and no sign of being alive, but Yuki couldn't bring himself to believe it. It was too much to take in. Howard couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be. It was a dream, just a bad dream…

But Eiri knew it wasn't, because Howard didn't open his eyes. He didn't smile at him like he always did when Yuki came home. His eyes didn't shine. He didn't say "Hi Eiri. I'm glad you came home early." And he couldn't believe it. His mind didn't want to believe that he had lost him, and he found himself crying like he had never cried before.

He didn't know for how long he was there, but when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Tohma with a tearstained face, it was almost morning, and his shirt was coated with red liquid.

They took Howard away. They buried him six feet under the ground. They said their farewells to the young boy. Police asked him how it happened. They explained to him that he was raped. They said Kitazawa; his once dear lover had raped him. After some time he found out that Kitazawa was killed, and it didn't surprise him when Tohma said he had done it.

"I had to kill him. Look what he has done to my beautiful Eiri."

It was odd, but Eiri found comfort in Tohma's soft words. He let Tohma kiss him. He let him caress his body, and in that moment he didn't give a damn that he was cheating on his own sister, because it was feeling so damn good to forget about Howard and let somebody else claim his body. It felt so good because Tohma repeated and repeated that he wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him anymore, and Eiri found himself trusting Tohma. Tohma was the last person he trusted…

He came back to America, and ironically enough, he felt like he was home, but he just couldn't be the same anymore. He let his heart freeze, because he knew that he wasn't going to let anybody break it again anytime soon.

Kitazawa, he knew why Kitazawa did it. Eiri once loved him. He really did, but it was real hard to stay with that man. Yuki Kitazawa was a cold hearted bastard by nature, and Eiri found it harder and harder to deal with that man while he was constantly cheating on him, constantly backstabbing him. So he did the only thing that was left for him to do. He left Yuki.

He could never believe that Yuki Kitazawa was going to do this to Howard…

The sickening fact was that after all these things that Kitazawa did, Eiri still loved him. He still loved to think about him, to think about the days they spent together, and it was the worst feeling in the world, because he felt like he was the one who had killed Howard.

After five years dueling one his thought, he found himself believing that he was a murderer after all. He was a jerk for still loving the man who had killed Howard. He found himself a sinner for still thinking about Yuki when he was feeling alone.

He hated himself for changing his name to Yuki. He hated himself for becoming Yuki…

And then everything suddenly changed. Every thing he had planned so carefully suddenly changed. Every wall he had built in front of him started to break and his heart started to melt.

He felt like changing. He felt like feeling loved again. He felt like smiling and exploring the world again…

Because suddenly Shuichi came into his life…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yuki woke up woke a start. His heart was beating fast, so fast that he was afraid that it was going to stop. The phone was still ringing when he picked it up. Wiping the cold sweat off his face, he cleared his throat to answer the phone.

"H...hello?"

"Yuki! Yuki Tatsuha is gone. I searched everywhere! I searched everywhere I though he could be, but I couldn't find him. I couldn't bloody find him! What if he does something stupid! What if he goes and…and…kill himself! Yuki what should we do?

"Calm down Ryuichi and explain what has exactly happened!"

"He came home last night. He was fine. He was really fine. He was talking strangely though. He kept on talking about our memories, about you, about me, about the parties and all those good stuff. He kept on repeating that…that… he loved me, and when I woke up, he was…he was gone."

Yuki took a deep breathe. Something wasn't right about this.

"Listen Ryuichi, do you remember Officer Winchester?"

"Yeah, Yeah I guess I do."

"Meet me in his office. I guess I know where he is."

"Okay…Yu…Yuki?"

"Yes?"

"H's all right, right?"

"I hope so."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Shuichi tried to scream, but he couldn't. The piece of cloth in his mouth was almost gagging him. His hands were hurting badly since they were cuffed in a strange angle. He could bare all that pain, but he couldn't bear the pain that he was feeling inside. Robert was tougher than usual, or maybe it hurt so much because Shuichi hadn't done this for a long time. His hands were running on his bare back, making him want to throw up what he had eaten two day ago.

"Oh yes baby. You feel good. You feel so good."

He felt a slap on his back, and his face burnt red. Robert repeated the action and this time tears ran on his cold cheeks. He couldn't take this anymore. He just wished he could close his eyes and never open them again. He was sure Yuki would understand. He knew Yuki would understand that he couldn't tolerate this pain anymore. He felt Robert clutching a handful of his hair and gritted his teeth together. He couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't anymore.

"I love you baby. Oh…I love you so much."

He felt so relieved when Robert finally let go of him, because he was feeling very numb all of a sudden. Everything was bluury around him. He felt like his heart wasn't beating anymore and the room was out of breath. He tried to take a deep breathe, but no air went into his lungs, and they started to painfully burn.

He heard the doorbell, and for a moment he wished it was Hiro. He missed him. He missed him so much. He missed Yuki, doctor Ryuichi, the nurses, the secretary who always teased him, the butler of the hospital and even Mr. Seguichi, and it brought tears to his eyes, because he knew that he wasn't going to see them anymore, and he found himself thinking about the sentence "you don't know what you've got until it's gone."

"I have to see who's behind the door baby."

He felt a wet kiss on his cold neck, then he heard Robert's footsteps which were getting further and further away, and it was when everything went black.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yuki stared at the big white door as it opened and revealed a man in his mid thirties. He didn't need to look twice to know that it was Robert. His black eyes were showing everything. He had to take deep breaths to make him self clam, and if it wasn't because Hiroshi was grasping his arm tightly, he would have jumped and killed the man. He just knew that he wouldn't hesitate about that.

"Are you sure Shuichi's there?"

"Yes Mr. Yuki. I know this house like the back of my hand. I know Shuichi's there. I just hope it's not too late."

'So do I.'

Yuki watched with growing impatience as K talked with Robert. He told himself that it was a good thing that K was talking with such confidence and coolness, because if Yuki was there, he would have punched the man right in his face, knowing what he had done to K's family. He was slightly relieved when K walked inside the house and the huge door closed behind them.

"Now, all we can do is to wait and see what's going to happen."

Hiroshi's voice was shaking when he spoke and Yuki hears it, but he decided to ignore it. He was worried himself and seeing somebody equally as worried was just too much. He knew that Shuichi was there. He knew that he needed help, but the fact that he couldn't do anything about it was killing him. This scenario was reminding him of Howard and how helpless and hopeless he was when he found him dead on the floor of the balcony.

"Tell me the plan again."

Yuki almost groaned from annoyance. It was the forth time Hiroshi was asking him to do that. He couldn't blame him though. Hiro was just a kid who as worried about his best friend. Hiro had grown up with Shuichi. He knew how it felt like to be in that mansion, and so he had every right to be worried and anxious about their plan.

"So, one of the cops is in the kitchen now. She has filled Robert's cup with a kind of poison. We have to wait a little for the poison to take its effect. Then colonel Winchester is going to call you and ask you to go there, right?"

Yuki only nodded his head.

"Then Colonel is going to call the cops in. I'm going to show them the way to Shuichi's room and they're going to arrest everybody. Even if I try to look at everything optimistically, it sounds too easy to be true."

"I trust K."

It was all Yuki could say, because honestly, there was nothing else to say to make himself and Hiro feel better. They both knew that they were taking a great risk, and they could lose Shuichi in the process but the problem was that they had nothing left to do. It was a matter of luck, nothing more.

Both of them jumped from their seat when Yuki's cell phone rang. They just looked at it, like it was a snake and if they tried to grab it, it would bite them. Unfortunately, both of them knew that at that point, there was no turning back. It had started. It was a one way ticket, and they knew that Shuichi was there.

"This is it."

He heard Hiroshi whisper as he picked up his cell phone. His heart was beating fast as he answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Doctor Eiri Yuki?"

"Yes, that's me. How can I help you?"

"I'm Colonel Winchester. I hope you remember me. I'm afraid I need your help. Mrs. Shindou, one of my friends is awfully sick, and I believe if there's a good doctor in this town, it's you. So, will you be kind enough to come to Shindou'a mansion?"

"Oh...ye…yes."

"I'll see you in five minutes then."

And then K hung up.

Yuki stared at his cell phone. Still thinking about what K had said. Why did he feel like something was wrong? He felt the frustration in K's voice, and now he was scared. Was it about Shuichi? Was K okay? His mind was going numb.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I guess so."

"Why?"

He could see the fear in Hiroshi's eyes, and he could guess that it was reflecting how Yuki himself was feeling inside. Both of them were going paralyzed from fear.

"He didn't say Robert is sick. He said Mrs. Shindou is sick."

"We have no other choice though."

"You have to go in."

Those five minutes were the worst minutes of Yuki's life. His body was almost shaking in fear. Never before in his life had he felt like this. He was about to do something he had never done before, and funny was the fact that he wasn't regretting any of it. Shuichi showed him the beauty of the world, and it was his debt to pay. It was a dept that he was happily paying, just to win Shuichi back.

As he walked toward the huge door and rang the bell, he told himself that he had never lost confidence like this before. He was thinking about turning around and going back to his car, when a butler opened the door and asked him to follow him.

He stared forward as the butler guided him to the living room where he could hear K's voice. Hearing his voice was like a painkiller, and he felt himself becoming calm again. He was there to kick Robert's ass, and he was going to make sure that he was going to kick it hard.

"Good morning Colonel Winchester."

He was really glad when he heard no wave in his own voice. It meant that he was playing good. Kneeling down next to the beautiful woman who was clutching her stomach, he told himself that she deserved it for what she had done to Shuichi, but he didn't say it aloud.

"What's wrong?"

"We don't know. It happened after she drank the coffee. I believe there's been something wrong with the coffee. I should talk with the chief."

Hearing Robert's voice, Yuki only greeted his teeth and closed his eyes. How he just wanted to turn around and kick him hard! Licking his lips he put his hands on the woman's stomach that was obviously in pain.

"Does it hurt madam?"

"Of course it does!"

'You deserve it!'

"I believe you are poisoned. There's not much I can do. We can call an ambulance, and I'll see what I can do in the hospital."

"The damn bitch drank the coffee! We don't have much time left Yuki! I have to think about a plan. The cops are going to break in. We have to stop Robert somehow."

Yuki wanted to yell from frustration. He just wanted to scream, "Now what?" but he stopped himself. He just had to act cool. He just had to go with the flow. He was about to say something professional about the stomachache when he heard a yell from a room in front of him. He didn't know why, but he found himself running toward the door. He didn't need to hear the scream twice. He knew it was Shuichi, and it was all he needed to run toward him. He wasn't going to let the incident happen again. He wasn't going to lose Shuichi like he had lost Howard.

He opened the expensive door with a loud bang, and was met with Robert, lying on a thin boy on the ground that had pink hair…Shuichi…

'I'm going to kill him."

It was what he thought as he grabbed Robert and threw him toward the cold wall. He was going to kill him. He didn't want to think about what was going to happen if he did. He didn't want to think about going to prison. He just wanted to get revenge, for this man had broken the most important thing in his life.

He didn't know what he was doing, and he doubted that Robert did either, for they were hitting each other mercilessly. None of them were feeling any pain though. Too blinded by rage to understand anything they beat each other and got beaten.

Yuki heard a sound of breaking, and since his head suddenly felt sore and heavy, he figured that Robert had crashed his head to the wall. Blood clouded his vision, but his ears could still hear. He could hear the sirens, he could hear the police, and next to his ear, he could hear K's desperate voice.

"Take the boy out of here. Run as fast as you can and don't look back. They're going to explode the house."

And Yuki did so. He didn't know how he had the strength to pick up Shuichi, but he did. And through the pain in his head, he thought to himself that Shuichi was unconscious. He ran as fast as he could. He almost fell from the stairs, but he didn't stop. He heard shots. He heard the sounds of the bullets, but he did not stop until he was safely out of the mansion, and it was when he collapsed on the ground.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The sound of the sirens was everywhere when Shindou jumped in his car and ordered the driver to get him out of this hell as fast as he could. Police was every where, and he was doing what was left for him to do. He was running away.

The driver gave him a hard look. Shindou didn't see the man's eyes since they were covered with sun glasses. He ordered again, and this time the hesitantly driver obeyed.

Shindou looked at his mansion and cursed everything around him. Fuck this Winchester Officer! He could tell that it was his entire fault. He shouldn't have killed his family. It was too late now. He had to get out of here if he wanted to stay alive. He cursed the driver for driving slowly, and was mildly surprised when the driver changed the direction.

"What are you doing you idiot!"

"Don't you remember me Mr. Shindou?"

The man took off his sun glasses, and Shindou was met with two familiar eyes. It wasn't time for greeting though. Police was right behind them and he had to get out.

"I know you. You're that young boy…

"Tatsuha sir."

"…Yes Tatsuha. So Tatsuha, You better drive faster if you want to stay alive."

Shindou heard soft laughter coming from the front seat. Something was going horribly wrong.

"But sir! I don't want to stay alive anymore!"

There was something wrong with the way this boy was speaking. There was something hidden in the voice and Shindou didn't like it. He had fired this boy. He just wanted to have him to get revenge from that Tohma. So why was he back? Didn't he learn his lesson?

"Look! I give you everything you want. Just get me out of here!"

"You can't give back what you've taken from me!"

His voice was angry when he spat out those words, and Shindou watched in horror as the boy drove right through the building and repeated the sentence he had said only one minute ago.

"What are you doing, you idiot!"

"Say good bye to everything Mr. shindou!"

Every body was waving their hands around them, saying that the mansion was about to explode but Tatsuha did not stop. He was going to do this, and he was going to enjoy watching him die. True, this man could not give back what he had taken away from him; so Tatsuha was going to do something equal. He was going to take his life always too.

People were screaming now, begging him to stop. He could hear Shindou's voice to; screaming at him, asking him to stop the car, but he did not stop. The mansion was getting nearer and nearer and he could feel his heart beat faster. This was it. This was the end he was waiting for.

'I wish I could say good bye to Ryuichi. I wish I could tell him that I love him, just one more time.'

Red and yellow was what he saw before everything around him exploded…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yuki heard a very loud noise before he opened his eyes. He couldn't see clearly. Everything was blurry and his head hurt. He tried to think where he was, but he didn't come out with any answers. His mind was completely blank.

"He's awake!"

"Did you get colonel Winchester's body out?"

"Who was the boy in the car? Was Shindou in it too?"

"We have to take them to the hospital!"

"They say Robert was inside the mansion when ut exploded!"

"Is this boy Shindou's son? Is he all right?"

"This is professor Yuki."

"Let's take them to the hospital!"

He tried to understand the words but it was impossible. Everything seemed incoherent and silly. He felt somebody picking him up from the ground and put him on something warm and soft. His body was frozen, probably because he had lay on the snow covered ground for too long, but he guesses that the numbness was good, because if he wasn't feeling numb, then he would have to feel a lot of pain.

"Are you all right sir?"

He tried to say no, before his eyes close and everything around him went to nothingness.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

One more chapter to go and that will be it…

Guys, feed back will be welcome, because I know that this chapter sucked for certain. Please help me out for the next chapter, 'cause it's going to be the last one and ideas will be more than welcome. I love to know your ideas and your guesses. I might even change the ending. This story is all yours. I could never write this shit alone.

A few days ago I read my story and felt extremely ashamed and stupid and told myself "Wow! It really sucks man!" I'm just glad that you people thought me how to write better. I hope you stick with me until I become a real writer…like you…thank you very much. You helped me through some bad times without knowing it.