A/N: Hello again, thanks for your continuous support! I promise to answer all the reviews as soon as I have time for that. This chapter contains warnings because it talks about difficult stuff like cutting, so be careful.

I'm so sad to hear about the death of Alan Rickman, such an inspiring, hardworking, and loved actor and person, even though I wasn't lucky enough to meet him. This week seems to be so deathly, since David Bowie also left us not long ago. I wasn't a big fan of his, I barely heard some of his songs, but I know each soul in the world that leaves such a hole in some many people's hearts must have been a great soul. Also, today it has passed exactly a week since I went to the funeral of one of my all time favorite teachers. He taught me life, he taught me theatre, acting, literature and Spanish. He was a mentor and a friend, and he, like all those people these days, was far too young to die. He was my tutor for two years before I left high school for college, and when my father passed away six months into the first year of being this man's student, he hugged me and offered me his cell phone number and his help if I ever needed anything. Last time I saw him was a few months ago when I went to visit him, before he left us last January 6th. Although he will never really leave us, he was a remarkable teacher who taught us not only what the books say, but what life's about, and he taught me to fight with all the strength of my heart for my dreams. And I had the pleasure of witnessing how after most of his students had just heard about his death, we were all calling and texting each other, and we all went to his funeral, along with many other of our old teachers, his family and his friends, and that way his little son got to see his father left a big hole in all of our hearts.

For all those brave soldiers who left us, this is for you:

Oh Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Oh Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up-for you the flag is flung-for you the bugle trills; 10
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths-for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won; 20
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

-Walt Whitman-

Chapter 25: It happened long ago.

Beca hadn't said anything about Chloe's scars ever since she saw them. But now, they had arrived to their hotel in Cape Town, after a long day going to the beach, several museums, restaurants, the aquarium, and other interesting places, and Beca couldn't stop thinking about it. So when Chloe comes out of the bathroom, and cuddles against her in their bed, Beca explodes, because she's been friend of Chloe for nine years, they had lived together, they had seen each other naked, they were besties and then girlfriends for a long time, and now was her wife, and Beca, who had it so hard to talk about her, had been pushed by the one who wouldn't talk about herself to talk, and in the mean time, Chloe had been hiding that, and Beca wondered if Chloe was ever going to tell her. So, she's looking at the ceiling, completely awake, absentmindedly stroking Chloe's arm as the ginger hugged her, when she breathes deeply and talks as calmly and non-furiously as she can, trying to seem nice.

"What was Noah talking about in his speech at the wedding?" the question is clear, direct, and Chloe doesn't even open her eyes.

"It was a long speech honey, and I'm too tired to remember" she replied.

"I'm talking about the harsh things he said you two went through in high school. I'm talking about the big thing he said he did for you. I'm talking about what kind of big things he has done, and why did you need them to be done, so now you love him as much as to go save his life. I want to know."

"We'll talk about it tomorrow babe, let's just sleep a bit right now okay? It's been a long day, but I promise before lunch, we will have talked about it" Chloe replied calmly, and snuggled more against her.

"No" Beca straightened up in the bed, sitting against the pillows, and Chloe had no remedy than to sit too, because the new posture moved her "We are talking about it now, Chloe, because I've known you for nine years, and still, you never told me you cut your wrists. We are talking about it now, because we've been married for four days, and you know every single little thing about my life, but I don't know why you would cut yourself."

Beca reached for the lamp in the nightstand and turned it on, looking at Chloe, who was leg crossed besides her, looking at her very intently, and Beca shot her a questioning look.

"I was going to tell you..."

"When? When were you going to tell me, Chloe? When our kids saw it and asked me about it? When we were forty maybe? When? Because you've had plenty of time, Chloe." Chloe opened her mouth a bit and then bit her lip.

"You're being pretty harsh sweetie." Chloe murmured, and Beca looked at her in silence, and nodded.

"I'm sorry. You're right, it's sleep time" Beca went to turn the light off, but Chloe stopped her.

"We were twelve" she said suddenly, and Beca stopped herself and looked at the ginger, who played with a ring she always wore on her thumb "Noah and I were very close, and I was socially awkward, but not your kind, I was the one who got too close, too soon, who was too cheery, too happy, too touchy, and teens, they freak out with that, and even more if they barely know you. They said I was crazy and made stupid rumors about me, like that I had eternal chicken pox because of my freckles and stupid things like that." Beca listened intently "Noah was my only true friend, he came making thousand friends and he taught me how to be a little less invasive a respect personal space just enough to make friends, he didn't change me, he just taught me how to control my personality so I could show my true me with the right people or when I was in a good friendship, and until that, just not be awkwardly invasive. Then he came out of the closet, and most of his so called friends left him, and because I was his best friend, and I already have good friends by then, mean people used it to say Noah had infected me, and now I was lesbian, and too many girls got scared of me going after them and trying to kiss them or something, and I was again alone, except for Noah. But I supported him, and I knew friends who left somebody alone because of some false rumor, or because something like that if it was real, weren't worthwhile friendships, so I didn't care. But we were suffering from bullying. I had gotten into the cheerleaders team, was from that that I started making friends, because I was captain, and it channeled my energies quite well, but when this happened, the cheerleaders started to get particularly mean, and when they are supposed to be your team and you are supposed to be on the top of the pyramid, that can get really nasty. Once, I was fifteen, and I had a really bad fall that ended with me in the hospital, because I broke an arm, and a couple ribs, and twisted my ankle, so I had to be on a wheelchair because I didn't have arms for crutches with one on a sling, but Noah took care of me. That week I got kicked out of the cheerleading team, lost all my friends except Noah and our nerd friends from choir club because they said I wasn't cool anymore and I hung out with gay people, and together with the bullying we had been handling in private for around two years, I started getting seriously depressed. To add more fuel, I used to date this guy, but never slept with him, and people were saying he had left me pregnant, and he left me saying I was a whore and cheated on him, and now some dude had left me pregnant" she explained, and Beca looked at her feeling anger rising inside. How could anybody do those things to a person so kind and good like Chloe? How could anybody throw on purpose someone from the top of a fucking human pyramid? "I turned sixteen, summer came, and when I got completely cured physically, I felt so weak because I was used to doing a lot of exercise and danced and everything, so my body had lost a lot. So during the summer, I devoted myself to get back in shape, got a diet, and by the time we started junior year, I was depressed, with anxiety, and obsessed with fitness, and because I was always so cheery and happy, nobody noticed a single thing. I got told by the cheerleaders' new captain that they would let me come back if I lost some weight more, so I eat perfectly in front of my friends, and then went through incredible amounts of exercise, and when that didn't work, I got frustrated, and started cutting, but I used to wear many bracelets and my watch, so nobody saw. One weekend, my family had gone to visit some cousins in Jacksonville, a bit far away from Tampa, and I lied and told them I had this huge exam the next Monday and needed to stay and study hard, and because I was so compromised with my grades, they let me stay, and Noah offered to stay with me so they would be more calm with letting me alone." She looked up at Beca pretty seriously "I only felt like crying, but again, made efforts to fake, and Noah had to help his uncle with some work one afternoon, and didn't come until night. That afternoon I was finally left alone, and after having accumulated all in for so long, I exploded. I cut heavily, but it hurt and I haven't great pain tolerance, so stopped, and instead, took a bunch of sleeping pills my brother had because college gave her insomnia, and just in case it wasn't enough, I mixed them with a lot of alcohol, when I had never drank, and other pills I found like Advil or whatever I could find. It turns out, cutting gave me anemia, I didn't know back then, but I had it, and made things worse. When Noah found me last night I was breathing so little I could have died in minutes, and he saved my life, and tried to lie so my family would never know, but doctors knew better, and my family sent me to a therapist and freaked out a lot. Long story short, we were seniors, somebody started dating Noah, seemed the perfect guy but it was all lies, and left him in front of the whole school, calling him horrible things and saying it was all a bet so he could show him how being gay sucked. It was the day before Prom, and since neither of us had dates, I asked him out, and we went together. Then I met Aubrey, and we helped each other a lot. By the time you came, it had been over four years, I was perfectly fine and quite over it, I had been for a while, so I didn't had the need to talk about it, the thought never crossed my mind since I rarely thought about those years. And as years went by, I completely forgot, and was at the wedding when I realized you knew nothing." She finished, and looked at Beca, who was speechless, and didn't know how to react "I'm sorry I said nothing, really, but I'm so over it I forgot it was something important that you should know, I swear Beca."

Beca shook her head and hugged her so hard they both fell back on the bed.

"I'm so sorry" Beca pulled off to kiss her "I'm an asshole, I'm a total asshole."

"It's alright, don't talk like that about the love of my life." Chloe smiled and Beca looked at her, supporting on her forearms as she laid over Chloe.

"I'm the love of your life?" Beca asked surprised and Chloe giggled.

"Seriously Beca? We just got married and you doubted it?"

"I... you're the love of my life too." Beca said grinning, and they kissed again.