Hello again! Wow, it really feels like a long time since I last updated...sorry for the wait. Um, this chapter has a lemon alert, so yeah...if you don't want to know, I'd suggest you avoid the chapter. For those of you who do want to know, please please please give me feedback - I found it pretty hard to write, and I would love constructive criticism so I can do better next time.
Anyway, without further ado, here it is! (Sasuke's PoV)
He didn't know why he'd done it, really. Not to start with. He'd just felt so weird, all floaty and disconnected when he came back home, that he'd ended in Kakashi's arms again, all warm and steady around him, grounding him so he didn't float away completely. He'd stopped thinking then, just let himself be still for a while, quiet and blank, protected by that solid embrace.
And then they were kissing. He'd started it, he knew that much, but he couldn't say why exactly, only that the impulse had come out of nowhere. He hadn't even thought of repressing the urge, the situation felt too unreal, too soft and gentle, not like Kakashi at all. Like just another dream in the night, too tired to think but too awake to sleep, full of impressions of lips and soft silver hair.
Then Kakashi moved, shifted into reality again, and he knew it wasn't a dream at all. He'd almost run away then, shocked at the thought of kissing anybody right now, let alone the one person he couldn't afford to mess things up with. But dammit he wanted Kakashi, had had night after night of fantasies, of pinning him down and breaking through the couldn't-care-less attitude, of being pinned down and fucked to the ground. He'd run out of patience, and he wanted something to go his way for once.
So they had made out, hot and hungry and demanding against one another, his hips pressed uncomfortably against the sideboard behind him but neither of them caring. The feel of his head being yanked back as his neck was assaulted blended into the slight relief of grinding into the hardened flesh of the man's crotch, and there was too much clothing, so he ripped it off. Kakashi's chest was too beautiful to be logical. It wasn't that it was perfect; there were a few freckles and scars, only just visible in the darkness but enough to make his breath catch. No, Kakashi wasn't perfect, but that's why it was okay to pull him closer, to let the tension twisting between his thighs turn to a rush of excited pleasure.
And now here he was – on the bed, on his back, completely naked and still being kissed intensely enough to bruise. Through the haze of lust and pleasure he wondered what the hell he'd got himself into.
It wasn't that he didn't want Kakashi – he did, more than ever with those large hands on his neck and breasts, their lips moving urgently against each other. The problem was, it wasn't going to last forever. He would be a man again in a few months, life would go back to normal. And he didn't know if he could handle the memories once he was back in a man's body with normal male hormones. What if he ended up unable to face the man, just because he'd-
His thoughts turned to mush as calloused fingers pinched a nipple. Against his will, his throat let loose a gasp as his shoulders pushed into the mattress, pressing his breasts further into that intolerably wonderful sensation. Then just as suddenly, it was gone, and he growled wetly against Kakashi's mouth in displeasure at the loss.
A husky chuckle buzzed against his lips, and then the mouth was gone, and he could only pant as little kisses inched their way down, closer, closer...he flinched, hands grasping fistfuls of soft hair as the bastard bit – bit – on the sensitive flesh, flashes of arousal radiating out from his chest to converge again between his legs, another breathless sound escaping into the darkness.
He ground his hips up, feet locking behind Kakashi's back to press the cloth-roughened bulge of arousal against his own heat, feeling the hiss of the man's indrawn breath prickle across damp skin. He smirked a bit at that, at having drawn out a reaction so easily, before squeaking in surprise as blunt nails scratched down his side. He decided to stop keeping track of their responses, and gave in to the tide of sensation, squirming and grabbing at muscled arms to haul those lips back up.
But suddenly there was a pause, and no lips met his own. He growled and tugged again, only to have Kakashi pull back slightly.
"Wait...I don't want it to be like this again. Let's take it slow, okay?" The words didn't compute for a moment. Kakashi was stopping? No, not stopping, kissing; just no longer frantic and uncontrolled, not quite so unthinkingly passionate. Somehow the change felt significant, on the cusp of some broad shift, and reason forced its way into his lust-clouded mind.
This was Kakashi. He was too important to hurt, he didn't want to risk changing things between them, but it was too late. He couldn't run away without destroying this fragile web of trust and...whatever it was that was between them, deeper than teamwork, more important than the daily irritations they encountered. He didn't know what would happen if he continued, but - raging hormones aside - he knew it couldn't be worse than losing his last support now, now everything was falling apart around him. The best option was to go along with the man's request, and hope nothing changed too much.
So he let his arms slide gently round Kakashi's waist, let their kisses drag on languidly in the sudden calm after all that frantic need. He traced across the surface of the man's back, feeling old scars and the dimples either side of his spine, just above jounin pants and the shared heat between their legs.
He felt his skin flinch reflexively as calloused fingertips moved down his left side, down over his hip, gently over his thigh and then back up to his shoulder. Then down again, this time just barely brushing the curls between his parted thighs before returning slowly back up. A whimper escaped, but it was swallowed up by Kakashi's mouth.
Finally, with unbearably unhurried detours, those fingers reached between his parted thighs, gently swiping against slick flesh and making his arms shake. It felt so different to his own hand – rougher, broader pads of skin, and more deliberate strokes. His hips pressed up automatically, wanting more, wanting it now, but the fingers retreated so he tried to hold still. Again they pressed, this time into him, stretching and filling him in a very different sensation.
He blushed at the little whine of displeasure that from his throat when Kakashi's lips disengaged, followed by his fingers. The weight above him shifted, settling on his thighs as the metallic sound of a zip mingled with their heavy breathing in the darkness.
He reached out unthinkingly, running his hands blindly down that smooth torso and over the hips, pulling down both layers of fabric at once until he could reach and grasp Kakashi's erection, pumping gently. It was strange, feeling the texture and girth pulsing under his fingers while he felt so aroused, but not being able to feel the sensation of his hand.
He felt the way the air vibrated with Kakashi's groan though, sending a shot of heat to pool in his abdomen. But then those large hands were wrapping round his, gently pulling him away, pinning his arms out either side of his head, and they were kissing again. He could feel the rhythm of Kakashi's heartbeat between his legs, the heat between their chests, the press of calloused skin against his wrists, and he tried to arch closer to it all.
His nipples brushed hot skin, and another moan filled his mouth, though he couldn't tell if it was his or Kakashi's. He wanted more though, he wanted his arms free to cling and hold, to pull himself so close he could forget they were two separate people. He squirmed and pulled free, breaking the kiss and panting for a moment.
"Now." His voice didn't sound like him, it was whispery and high but also husky, almost slurring. He didn't have time to ponder the intricacies of his throat though, because Kakashi was nodding, moving his hand down again, and there was a blunt pressure pressing at him, wanting in. It felt strange, widening his legs and arching, feeling the slip-stretch-slide inside him, like at any moment there would be pain.
And then it stopped, Kakashi letting out a slightly shaky breath, kissing him shortly, and pulling back out, and slowly back in, a million nerve endings sending tingles throughout him. So very slow, full of the contained power that marked the man as an elite ninja, that it took him a moment to realize he was whimpering again, wrapping his legs around that slim waist and trying to get more, feel more, be more.
He didn't even try to hold back him moan when the man heeded him, switching to a steady pace that was just slow enough to savor, just fast enough to make him shiver. His belly was twisting and his limbs felt almost disconnected, pulling their bodies together in time without thought.
Kakashi's lips met his neck, kissing and nipping gently, adding another layer to the fire running through him, almost visible as he stared up at the darkness. A hand ran down his side, cupped a breast and made him feel the edge of his orgasm, before letting go and slipping down over his stomach, to his hip. Pausing.
Then one finger pressed between their bodies, hot and unbearable and just perfect among all the other sensations. The fire in him swept out, somewhere between an explosion and a hurricane, and he dimly recognized it from the time Kakashi walked in on him. But it was different, stronger, filled instead of empty.
Suddenly, everything became even more intense as Kakashi's hips hit his hard; once, twice, a third...he felt rather than heard the groan against his neck. And then stillness, broken by heavy panting, the last of the fire dwindling to where Kakashi was in him still, where he could feel his heartbeat, feel the hotness in him.
Eventually, when their breathing had returned to normal, Kakashi pulled out, both holding back a hiss at the sensation. He didn't quite manage to hold back the little sound of disappointment that emerged when Kakashi rolled off, but it served its purpose as the man slung an arm around him, letting him lean his head on Kakashi's chest and listen to his heartbeat.
He could think of hundreds of reasons why he shouldn't be cuddling now, why he shouldn't have let things happen like this in the first place, but right now he was too exhausted to try. In the morning...well, he'd just have to wait and see what happened. Until then, he deserved a nice long sleep.
Hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to update soon, but no promises.
P.S. Feedback, anybody?