Harry Potter and the Legend of the Twelve

By

Lewis M. Brooks, III

Chapter 24 – All I've Wanted

By the lake, under a familiar tree, five members of the New Marauders sat as the late afternoon sun slowly dipped towards the horizon. All were working on homework, spread out in a circle in the shade of the tree. It was mild for November, and all were trying to enjoy the last spell of good weather they would likely have for a while.

All had been to visit Albus many times in the ten days since the incident in the Gryffindor Common Room. Now into the eleventh day, even as they worked on their lessons, it was impossible to push Albus from their thoughts.

A few yards away stood another member of the New Marauders. Though no one said it, if the group were to have officially selected a leader, he would have been their unanimous choice. James was a natural leader, whether it was on the pitch, or with the New Marauders, people just followed him.

James stood looking out at the lake, occasionally picking up a stone and skimming it across the water. He stood silently watching the ripples the rocks made as they broke the calm surface of the lake. He had no more homework that day. Unlike he had done so often in the past, when classes had ended he had completed his homework as soon as possible, so he could do what he had done most every day for the last ten days, skim rocks across the lake, and watch the ripples.

James had refused to speak about Albus to anyone. He said nothing when they went to visit him. James just sat silently and watched Albus sleep. Since his brief breakdown when Sirius returned from his trip, James hadn't shed a single tear.

Under the tree, his friends slowly completed their homework. Danny and Jason were working on Transfiguration, while Rose was making duplicate copies of her notes from History of Magic so Albus and Carly would have them when he woke up. Lily and Hugo were finishing the mathematics homework Hermione had left them before going to visit her parents.

One by one, books were closed, and parchment was rolled up. Inkbottles and quills were put away, and the five just sat there in silence, all wanting and all needing to talk about what was on their minds, but none of them willing to bring it up. It was as if to speak about it would make it real, and that was too hard to face.

As they sat silently, they heard footsteps approaching and looked up to see Neville, Ron, and Sirius coming towards them. The three men dropped down on the ground among the group. Lily got up and sat in her godfather's lap.

"So, how goes the homework?" asked Ron. "All done?" He was met with slow nods from all around, and really wasn't sure what to say next.

"How's Quidditch practice?" asked Neville. "I know you have a big game this weekend with Hufflepuff."

"Been pretty good," said Jason with a shrug. "Victoire, Danny, and Rose make quite a team at Chaser, and Fred and I are doing very well. James is the best Keeper in school."

"And it means nothing," said James from where he stood a little bit away. His voice was cold, and had an edge to it that none of them had ever heard from James before. Anger dripped from every word. "Without a Seeker, we may as well forfeit and be done with it."

"I know," said Ron, knowing full well that the lack of a Seeker was not why James was so upset. "I'm sure you can find a replacement for this match."

"Albus Potter is the Seeker for the Gryffindor House Quidditch team, end of," snarled James, his eyes flashing with anger. James threw the stone he was holding to the ground, and walked away down the bank.

"I'll go talk to him," Sirius offered. He transformed into Padfoot and immediately took off after James.

"You guys know Al is going to be all right, don't you?" asked Ron softly. He was trying to put on a reassuring smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

The response was less than enthusiastic. Rose muttered a barely audible, "I hope so," but that was all.

"Hey, Ron," said Neville, trying to sound upbeat. "How often did you sit in the Hospital Wing with Harry when you were in school?"

"More times than I can count," said Ron with a grin. "I remember the time he broke his arm in the Quidditch match in second-year and that twit of a wizard Gilderoy Lockhart removed all the bones from his arm." The group of young students laughed slightly.

"Al is like his dad, he's tough. He'll be fine," said Ron. "We just have to have faith."

"Dad?" said Rose tentatively.

"Yes, Rosie," said Ron.

"What if…he isn't?" asked Rose barely above a whisper. It was the question that they had all been thinking, but none of them had yet had the courage to ask.

Ron slid over close to where his daughter sat, pulled her into his lap, and gave her a hug. He wanted to say, that it would never happen. That it was absolutely impossible. That Albus would be fine, and no other outcome could possibly come to pass. What Ron really wanted was for Hermione to hold him and tell him those things.

After a moment Ron pulled back from Rose and looked into her eyes, calling on all his Gryffindor courage, and willing, begging, his tears not to fall. "Then Rosie, we'll remember him," said Ron. "We'll remember how much we loved Al, and how much we loved to spend time with him, and how much he loved us all." Ron had no idea how he managed not to shed a single tear as he spoke. "But I know he will be all right, Rosie. There was a day we all thought Uncle Harry was dead, all those years ago, and he came back. Al's going to be all right."

"Yeah, Rose," said Danny, reaching over and taking her hand. "We have to think positive. No sense thinking about the worst. We need to be strong for Albus."

"Rose," said Hugo slowly. "Do you remember the time Al fell off his broom last year when he was at The Burrow. We were sure he was a goner, but he got up and brushed himself off. Dad's right, he's tough. He'll pull through."

They sat and talked a bit more, trying to encourage one another to stay positive, while at the shore, another conversation was taking place.

Padfoot barked, as he followed James, but the boy ignored him. Sirius returned to human form. "Hold up, James," called Sirius.

Finally, realizing there was no getting away, James stopped and turned towards him, waiting for Sirius to catch up to him. He really didn't want to talk to anyone.

"What is it?" asked James bluntly.

"Tell me what's wrong," said Sirius, firmly.

"I told you, we have no Seeker," said James. His tone was flat and lifeless. His expression gave away none of what he was feeling.

"Look, I knew your grandfather better than anyone, except maybe your grandmother," said Sirius. "I know your dad like he was my own son. You're more like them than you even know. I know this isn't about Quidditch, so don't insult my intelligence." Sirius' tone was firm, but not angry.

"What do you want me to say, Sirius?" asked James flatly. "He's my little brother, I should have protected him."

He hadn't told a soul that. James felt somehow he should have been able to stop this. He was supposed to look after his little brother after all. Wasn't that part of being a big brother?

"Oh for the love of Merlin," said Sirius, completely exasperated. "What is it with you Potters and your incessant need to blame yourselves for what you can't control? James, it's not your fault. You couldn't know. How could you have possibly prevented this?"

"I don't know," spat James, as if the words were a bad taste in his mouth. "There must have been something. There…must have been…something." The last words just barely made it out of James mouth before the tears began to fall.

Sirius put his arms around James and held him. "You couldn't know, James," said Sirius softly. "You can't blame yourself. Al will be all right."

"How do you know he'll be all right?" asked James through his sobs. "You don't know, you can't know."

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told your father," said Sirius with a sigh. "I returned from the dead for a reason, and I refuse to believe that reason is to bury Al."

James nodded slowly and took some deep breaths to calm down. "No one has told me, but I saw that scar on Albus's palm," said James. "It doesn't take a genius to see it's just like Dad's scar. The scar Voldemort gave Dad. What does it mean, Sirius? Please tell me."

"If I knew James, I would tell you but I don't know," said Sirius with a sigh. "We are still trying to figure that out. Come on, let's go visit your brother."

Harry walked through the halls of the castle toward the Hospital Wing. This was all getting to be too much to handle. He thought of Albus constantly. He was barely sleeping or eating. Worst of all, to Harry's horror, he was beginning to contemplate what life would be like if Albus never woke up.

Harry was of course aware that everyone else was suffering as well. Ginny would cry herself to sleep in his arms most nights. None of the New Marauders had smiled in days. Well wishes and requests for news of Albus arrived by owl from friends and family every day. It was only at times like this, Harry thought, that a person can truly realize how many lives they touch.

Of all the people who were suffering as they watched Albus, it was Carly that Harry worried about most. The poor girl had been through so much in her life, and now this. She still had not spoken since Halloween. She was away from Albus for no more than a few minutes each day. Harry decided to speak to her, and see if he could get her to talk. At least that way, he could feel like he was doing something.

Harry walked up to the Hospital Wing door, as he had so many times over the last ten days. He pushed open the door, and saw the site he had seen each day. Ginny and Carly were each sitting on opposite sides of Albus's bed, holding one of his hands. Ginny was trying to smooth Albus's hair. She did that about a hundred times of day, but was no more successful than when Albus was awake.

The one healer from Saint Mungo's, who had remained with Madam Jennings to care for Albus, was there. The rest had left, as there was little they could do except to keep Albus comfortable and nourished. The Healer was sitting at a desk making some notes. He looked up at Harry, nodded somberly, and returned to his work.

Ginny looked up and saw Harry, and Harry nodded towards the corner of the room. It was where they always went when they needed to speak in private, though Harry wasn't sure Carly would have heard them even if they were right beside her.

Ginny nodded, and leaned down kissing Albus's forehead. She got up and waked to Harry, and put her arms around him. He returned the embrace, and whispered in her ear. "Is there any change?" asked Harry. He already knew the answer, but he always asked.

"No," said Ginny quietly. "He's still the same."

Harry nodded. "You look exhausted, why don't you lie down, Ginny?" said Harry.

Ginny shook her head. "I'm fine," she said softly. "I think I'll go to the kitchen and get some food though, see if I can get Carly to eat more than a few bites. She's going to make herself ill if this keeps up."

Ginny left for the kitchen. The house elves could have brought something up, but Harry knew Ginny wanted to be able to do something, however small it might be. He completely understood that feeling.

Harry walked over and sat on the next bed over from Albus. Carly was still sitting where she always was on the edge of Albus's bed.

"Carly," said Harry softly. She slowly turned towards him. Her eyes were dark, almost lifeless. "Please come and sit with me for a minute." He kept his voice calm and soft so it wouldn't sound like an order.

Carly looked at the floor for a moment and seemed to take a deep breath. She nodded slightly, and set Albus's hand down on the bed, gently, as if it were made of glass. She stood and walked the few steps to the bed and sat down next to Harry.

"Carly, you need to eat and sleep regularly, or you are going to make yourself sick," said Harry softly. "I know you're scared, we all are, but you need to take care of yourself. Albus wouldn't want you to make yourself ill."

For a moment, Carly didn't respond. "Professor Potter," said Carly tentatively. Her voice was hoarse, having been used so little of late, and cracked slightly. There was no emotion in it at all. Her tone was flat and empty.

"Under the circumstances, I think it would be all right for you to call me Harry," he said with a reassuring smile. Harry would remember what she said to him next for the rest of his life.

"Harry," began Carly, "I remember when I was six years old. Both of my grandmothers came to spend Christmas with my parents and me. I was so happy to be with my family. I loved them all and they loved me. They were all the family I had. Now everyone I loved is gone."

Harry had never heard someone speak with so much pain, yet so little emotion at the same time. Carly then slowly turned to look up at him with her sad, dead eyes.

"It's been less than two years since my parents died, but it feels like forever," said Carly softly. "All those months after they died, I cried myself to sleep every night. I was alone…then I met Al. He was so kind and caring. He told me I would never be alone again. He promised to be there for me. I haven't cried myself to sleep since he made that promise." Carly was quiet for a moment and then continued. "I wasn't sure I could ever love anyone again. I was afraid if I did, I would lose them and it would hurt too much. I know I've only known Al for two months, but I realized…I love him. I couldn't tell him. I wasn't sure if he really felt the same. At the dance, Albus told me he loved me. He's the only one who loves me. I've lost everyone else who ever did. All I've wanted for so long is someone who loves me. The day of the Quidditch match, I was scared, but deep down I knew he would be all right. This…now…I'm afraid I'm going to lose him. I'm afraid I've already lost him. Al's all I have."

She buried her face in her hands and began to sob. Harry put his arms around her and held her. She cried into his shirt. Harry could feel her tears soak into his shirt, and she shook as she continued to sob.

Harry knew how she felt to have no one who loves you. He knew how it felt to be alone, and to lose everyone. He knew how it felt to be afraid to love, for fear of more loss. He had lived that way from the day his parents died, until so many years later. In some ways though, it was far worse for Carly. Harry had never really known a loving family. He didn't really know what he had lost when he was a baby. Carly did know what she had lost. Harry's heart shattered as he listened to her sob. No one deserved that much pain, least of all this sweet girl.

After a few minutes, Carly's tears stopped, and exhaustion overwhelmed her. Her breathing evened out, and Harry knew she was asleep. Harry heard the door open, and heard a soft "clunk" as a tray was placed on a table. Ginny walked around in front of him, a concerned look on her face. Harry looked up and shook his head sadly. Harry stood up, carefully lying Carly down on the bed. He pulled a blanket over her, and started to turn to walk away, but he stopped. He drew his wand, and muttered an incantation. Silently, the bed she lay on slid close to the one on which Albus lay. He took Albus's hand, and placed it in Carly's. It was really the only thing he could do for her.

Harry nodded towards the door and Ginny followed him into the hall, where he dropped heavily onto the bench and stared at the floor. Ginny knelt down on the floor in front of him and looked up at him.

"What happened?" asked Ginny, reaching up a hand and putting her palm against Harry's cheek. He covered her hand with his own.

Harry told Ginny what Carly had said. He would never forget her words. When he was done, Ginny got up and sat beside him holding on to his arm. "That poor girl," she lamented.

"Ginny, I've been thinking about something," said Harry tentatively. "That's not really true, I haven't really thought about it at all. Not consciously anyway. I don't really need to think about it. It's something big."

"The answer is yes," said Ginny with a smile.

"Yes to what, Ginny?" asked Harry, confusedly.

"You are about to tell me you want to adopt Carly," said Ginny, kissing Harry's cheek. "My answer is yes. I'm sure Kingsley can help with the paperwork."

Harry put his arms around Ginny and held her tightly. "I think it's the right thing to do," said Harry. "She is involved in this prophecy somehow. James, Albus, and Lily have us to help them through this. Carly has no one. I thought I would have to convince you."

"Are you kidding?" asked Ginny with a grin. "Another child, and a wonderful girl at that, without the whole giving birth thing, I couldn't say no to that. Congratulations, it's a girl."

Harry laughed, and then kissed her deeply.

"It's nice to hear you laugh," said Ginny breathlessly. "It seems like forever since you did."

Just then, there quiet moment was shattered by Carly's scream from inside the Hospital Wing.