Chapter 25 The Great Unknown

Standard disclaimer: don't own Monk.

Notes: *sniff, sniff* Last chapter- Freed from his troubled past, Adrian is ready to take his first step into the Great Unknown.

Thanks for reading and heartfelt appreciation to those who offered encouragement through reviews and PMs. This was a difficult story to write & I was thankful for the support.

A Very Special Thank You to Monkwriter for not only the critical eye in editing, but also for your talented mind and open heart~ xoxo

"Adrian, I'm thrilled you're ready!"

Natalie's giddy reply made Adrian startle and raise his head. "Nat?" he murmured, his voice husky from sleep. He turned and looked over to Natalie, nestled under the quilt. With her back to him, the contours of her body gently rose and fell with each breath. She was deep in slumber. He quickly realized her voice had been in his dream, a reminder of last night.

Gazing at his future wife, Adrian's thoughts stirred. It had been a lifetime since he felt such expectation and hope, an energy that roused his every fiber of his being. This morning, with Julie bringing the engagement ring from Peggy, he would formalize his proposal to Natalie. And, although highly unlikely, after last night perhaps their family had already begun to expand. That was an unknown that was beyond his control and, for once in his life, the unknown was wonderful. Adrian chuckled unexpectedly- his life was wonderful.

He fleetingly considered staying in their warm bed just to watch Natalie, curled up a sleepy bundle. But no, he had to get up. Even if he could curb the giddy laughter that threatened to leap from his chest, his thumping heartbeat, excited and crashing, would surely invade her dreams. Adrian slipped from the cozy warmth and retrieved boxers and a shirt from the dresser. He then opened the closet, cringing as the door squeaked upon opening. Selecting a pair of jeans, he forced himself to leave the squeaky door open. Tooth by tooth, he painstakingly raised the zipper on his pants, wincing at how each click seemed to ricochet across the room. When Natalie rolled over and mumbled incoherently, he stopped and held his breath. Daring not to move, Adrian waited until she settled peacefully under the blanket before padding barefoot from the bedroom.

Scampering down the stairs, he automatically entered the dark kitchen and hesitated with his hand on the light switch. Deciding to leave the light off, Adrian was drawn to the window across the room. He looked out into the backyard and rested his hands on the edge of the sink. He shivered slightly, the thin t-shirt not providing much warmth, his bare feet on the cold vinyl floor.

Looking out into the dark, silent pre-dawn, Adrian's thoughts returned to last night. He now wondered if he had missed something. After announcing his desire to make a baby, Natalie's reaction had been as expected- enthusiastic and joyous and peppered with laughs and kisses. But had there been an unsaid message hidden in her flirty eyes and enigmatic smile? Last night it hadn't registered, Adrian had been too distracted by her tender kisses, her sure hands, and her accommodating body. But this morning his unconscious rumbled, telling him something magical had happened right before his eyes. Adrian trusted that today Natalie would tell him what he had missed. Until then, he would wait, his heart expectant.

Gazing at the inky shadows in the backyard, Adrian's hands rest idly on the rim of the sink. But it wasn't long before he felt a familiar urgency race to his fingertips. Flipping on the pendant light above the sink, he retrieved a can of cleanser from the cupboard and began to scrub the sink. Adrian snickered to himself- waiting would never come easy.

~~~~~MN~~~~~

The pink of dawn flooded the room, slowly rousing Natalie from her sleep. She languidly stretched, reaching across the bed for her man. Natalie's eyes sprang open and she felt a tinge of disappointment when her hands came up empty. Her attention was drawn to the open closet door and she vaguely remembered Adrian getting up. Maybe he went running? Hmm, he'll come home all hot and- Natalie sat up and unexpectedly groaned, morning sickness suddenly hitting her full force. With her desire completely extinguished, she was instantly grateful for Adrian's absence. He didn't need to see her in this condition. Natalie grumbled, 'glowing' was definitely a misused adjective describing expectant mothers in their first trimester.

Stumbling from the bed, Natalie gathered her clothes and the two early pregnancy tests from her purse and headed into the bathroom. Having already memorized the test's simple instructions, she looked at the clock, noted the time, and did what she needed to do. She then took a shower to clear her head. Natalie was dried and dressed in record time. The windows on the plastic sticks were still blank. No results yet.

Natalie sat on the edge of the tub as another wave of morning sickness brought sweat to her brow. Since her body was already telling her she was pregnant, this wait was interminable. This wait would have tortured Adrian. She scanned the bathroom, trying to keep her eyes off the test sticks. Focusing in on a spot on the floor, her mind drifted back to last night.

When Adrian declared he was ready for them to start trying to make a baby, Natalie was beside herself. Her secret swam to her lips, ready to spill forth. The only thing that kept her silent was the desire to spare him this eternal wait. It was for his own good, she repeated for the umpteenth time.

Yet this morning Natalie realized that her not sharing this was a heartbreaking mistake. They should have waited together, hands joined, perched side-by-side on the edge of the bathtub. She regretted denying him this experience. And, she regretted not having his support.

Her emotions sparred. Joy grappled with panic, certainty battled doubt. She stood and paced the small bathroom. Although Adrian had said he was ready to be a father, would he be ready today? This would be a lot for him to handle. It would have been so much easier if she and Adrian were already married and expecting this baby.

She looked at the clock, finally enough time had passed. Taking a deep breath, she rose to look at the test sticks. Picking one up, Natalie vowed this was the last secret she would keep from Adrian.

Shutting off the headlights, Julie parked her car in front of her grandparent's house and trotted to the front door. Even though it was barely seven in the morning, Julie had already phoned them, alerting them to her early arrival time. Throwing open the unlocked door, she excitedly called out, "Grandma, Grandpa, I'm here!"

"We're in the kitchen," Peggy's muffled voice answered.

Julie strode through the house and entered the cheerful kitchen. Peggy and Bobby were seated at the table, breakfast dishes covering the table. Creeping up behind Bobby, Julie hugged his shoulders, "Wow, you guys look right at home!"

"We are home, princess!" Bobby laughed, kissing Julie's cheek.

"Thank God, and Adrian Monk, for that!" Peggy pulled out a chair, "Julie, sit and have breakfast with us."

Taking her seat, Julie drummed her fingers on the table, "Could I see the ring first? Please!"

Bobby smirked as Peggy reached behind her, plucking the box from the counter. Handing it over, Peggy snickered, "Julie, if the setting disturbs Adrian, please help him choose a new one."

Julie held her breath as she opened the box. Set in a platinum band, a large diamond was flanked first by sapphires and then smaller diamonds. It was delicate and elegant and flawless.

Julie slipped it on her finger and squealed, "It's beautiful! Why wouldn't Adrian like it?"

Peggy playfully rolled her eyes, "It has five stones, my dear!"

Leaving the ring on her finger, Julie began to fill her empty plate, "I'll see if I can persuade him to overlook that one imperfection. I know Mom will love this ring."

Bobby looked off into the backyard, a wistful smile crossing his face.

Julie noticed and lightly touched his arm, "What is it, Grandpa?"

"Princess, I think that if Natalie loves that ring, Adrian won't need any persuading."

~~~~~MN~~~~~

Adrian turned from the sink when he heard the patter of Natalie's feet on the stairs. "Good morning, Nat-" Dropping the sponge in the drain board, he stopped in mid sentence, "What do you have there?"

With a mysterious smile, Natalie placed a shoebox on the washing machine before approaching Adrian. She backed him against the counter, raising an eyebrow, "I'll tell you in a minute-" Kissing him softly on the lips, she playfully patted his stomach, "Stay here." Natalie turned and walked over to the cupboard, "First I need a nibble."

"A what?" Adrian remained leaning against the counter as instructed. He watched Natalie retrieve a box of crackers, her pale countenance suddenly evident. His stomach flipped, "Natalie, are you okay? You look tired, sick." She was in mid bite when he went to her and placed his hand on her forehead, "You feel a little warm."

Swallowing the cracker, Natalie smirked and slid away from him, "Just let me get a drink and I'll be fine." She fetched a bottle of soda and poured a glass. As she took a sip, she met Adrian's concerned gazed. Natalie flashed a timid grin, "Just one more minute and I'll tell you everything. Why don't you sit down?"

"Nat, what is it?" Panic sucked the air from his lungs and Adrian shuddered. It was always a bad sign when he was told to sit before receiving news.

"It's wonderful, I promise." She pulled a chair from the kitchen table and patted the seat, "Please sit down."

Adrian reluctantly sat, his eyes trained on Natalie's movements around the kitchen. She finished her drink, rinsed the glass in the sink and put the crackers away. With a sly, sideways glance, she retrieved the box she has placed on the washing machine.

Holding his gaze, Natalie approached and laughed nervously, "It seems we, umh, need to start planning our wedding. We've been given an early wedding present." She stood to the left of Adrian's chair and began to put the box on the table.

Adrian flinched and touched her arm, stopping her. "Nat, that's an old shoebox- you can't put that on the table. And it's a wedding present? In a shoebox?" He cringed, wondering why Natalie seemed pleased with something that was obviously so wrong. He lamented, "It's in a shoebox!"

"Trust me, I know you want this, Adrian." Natalie gingerly placed it on the table.

Shifting his shoulder, Adrian looked suspiciously at the box before raising his face to study Natalie's enigmatic expression. His heart skipped, "What is it?"

"Open it," Natalie softly cajoled, resting her right hand on the back of his neck.

Returning his focus to the box, Adrian hesitated a mere moment. He reached out, hand on the box, poised at the edge of an expanding and deepening future. Natalie's hand moved to his shoulder and gave a squeeze of encouragement. He carefully removed the box's lid and placed it on the table. Nestled in white tissue paper were two small objects. It took Adrian a second before he recognized what they were. He froze.

Natalie reverently picked them up and gently placed them on the box lid. She kissed the top of his head and murmured, "Congratulations, Dad."

Adrian stared at the test sticks, numb in disbelief. They each boldly proclaimed the same word - Positive. He forgot how to breathe. Positive? The word's meaning finally hit him. An unbound joy slammed into his chest.

"Positive." He silently mouthed the word. Lightheaded and dizzy, he shifted toward Natalie and instinctively drew his arms around her legs and rested his cheek against her stomach. Natalie's finger threaded through his hair and Adrian closed his eyes, nuzzling against her warmth. Sliding his hand up under her shirt, he placed his palm against Natalie's flat belly. He imagined the child that was developing right under his touch. His child. Burying his face into her shirt, he let out a muffled sob- this baby already owned his heart.

"Adrian?" Natalie quietly ventured, "I think we're probably about five weeks along." She caressed the back of his head and he looked up at her, tears sparkling in his eyes.

Adrian stammered, "Five weeks? I, I don't understand."

Natalie stroked his face, wiping away an errant tear. "I only suspected yesterday- that's why I took the test this morning. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wanted to make sure." She unexpectedly sighed, her voice quiet, "I guess making a baby wasn't a tough as I told you it would be."

Adrian's mind was whirling, chaotic, trying to grasp the fact that Natalie was already five weeks along. Sliding his hand to Natalie's hip, Adrian rose unsteadily, the ground shifting like quicksand under his feet. Last night he had been so sure, but today he felt all the familiar doubts return. It was so sudden and they weren't married yet and, most importantly, what kind of father would he be? Standing before Natalie, Adrian clasped her hand and searched her eyes, hoping her confidence would quell his sudden anxiety. But rather than surety, he saw a wisp of hesitation flickering in her eyes.

"Natalie?" His chest tightened as he inadvertently twitched his shoulder. This was really happening.

"What do you think?" Her voice trembled slightly.

Hearing the uncertainty in her question, Adrian felt as if he had been slapped. Natalie was afraid of how he might react. Sobered, he was frustrated by his momentary lapse of panic and silently berated himself. This child, his child, was a blessing. He never realized love could be so inexhaustible but also so vulnerable. Adrian lightly touched her face, his thumb grazing her cheek. His voice was raw, husky, "Natalie, I love you."

"I love you too, but-" a wince shadowed Natalie's face, "I know this is so sudden and unexpected. Are you ready for this?"

Adrian gulped - this was his decisive moment. One wrong word could diminish her happiness. Would he be like his father Jack and put himself before his family? Would he let his worries overshadow this wondrous news? Or could he, once and for all, conquer his fears and be Natalie's stronghold? It was a simple 'yes or no' question. Was he a man or Monk?

Adrian's heart, healed and unbound, was finally willing to lead him into the great unknown. "Yes, I'm ready," He murmured, as his hand drifted to her belly. "This is a blessing and the greatest gift imaginable. Thank you, Natalie."

"An early wedding gift," Natalie gave a flustered smile.

"We'll get married soon enough." Adrian radiated calm, "This was meant to happen now and I would never question her timing."

"Her?" Natalie exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around his waist. She smirked, curious but visibly relieved, "You think we're having a girl?"

"I know we are." He lightly kissed her, lingering against her lips until she chuckled and leaned into his shoulder. Drawing his arms around her body, Adrian rested his chin atop her head. Closing his eyes, he replayed the images from his dream and envisioned his daughter's face. The inherited combination of Natalie and himself, she would be the perfect combination of her laughing blue eyes and his dark tousled curls. Letting out a happy sigh, Adrian silently vowed to always be there for his girls, to protect them, to care for them, to—

Oh God!Adrian's eyes shot open. He had to take care of Natalie! But he knew next to nothing about what a pregnant woman needed. His only exposure with this particular condition had been tenuous, with Karen Stottlemeyer, Leland's ex-wife. Adrian had tried to avoid Karen when she was in the family way, but, on the rare occasions he had interacted with her, Karen seemed tired and emotional.

Kissing her forehead, Adrian loosened his hold on Natalie, "Do you need to rest? Maybe you should sit down?" With one hand still on her back, Adrian pulled a chair away from the kitchen table.

Shaking her head, Natalie tugged at his shirt, "No, you sit first." He opened his mouth to insist but she placed her finger on his lips, silencing him, "Trust me. I'll sit down right after you take a seat."

Not wanting to argue, Adrian obediently sat. He was surprised when Natalie turned and suddenly eased into his lap. Snaking an arm over his shoulder, Natalie winked, "Told you I'd sit. You don't mind, do you?"

Enjoying the feel of her warmth and weight, he slyly smiled, "I don't mind." Wrapping one arm around her back, his other hand cradled her chin. A devastatingly fierce love gripped him. Leaning forward, he tilted his face and kissed her, soft and lingering. Heat rolled through his body and he kissing her again, slower, deeper, threading his fingers through her hair.

Shifting in his lap, Natalie broke the kiss, breathless, "We should take this upstairs."

She started to rise but Adrian's hands encircled her waist and held her in place. His eyes darted nervously, "No! Julie is coming by this morning, remember?" He cast a glance at the wall clock, it was almost eight o'clock. Fearing he would spill the secret, he bit his lip and continued to stare at the clock.

"I bet she hasn't left school yet." Nuzzling the tender flesh below his ear, Natalie seductively suggested, "I can call her and tell her we're busy."

"You can't!" Adrian squirmed away from her tempting lips. He glanced at her before averting his gaze.

"Why not?" Natalie leaned back and scrutinized his downturned eyes, "Adrian?" She cupped his face and turned it forward, but he wouldn't lift his eyes. Natalie coaxed, "Adrian, I know you're up to something. Tell me already. Please?"

Adrian raised his eyes and his resolve crumpled. "Julie's bringing your engagement ring."

"My engagement ring?" Natalie's face lit up and she giggled, "You really can't keep a secret, can you?"

Adrian gave a melancholy smile, "I don't want any secrets between us, Natalie."

Natalie sobered. Taking his hand, she kissed his palm then pressed it to her heart, "No secrets, ever- I promise." As he smiled, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, bringing him close.

Tracing his hands along her back, he snuggled against her collarbone and closed his eyes. After a moment of silence, he fidgeted, suddenly restless. He looked up, his face concerned, "Nat, could we go out this afternoon and get a few things? You know, to get ready for the baby?"

"Like diapers and baby wipes and a crib?"

"And a car seat and child-proof locks for the cabinets and safety gates for the staircases and -" His voice fading away, Adrian's eyes wandered to the ceiling as he tried to organize the lengthy list in his head.

"And drop by the bank and start a college fund?" Natalie laughed, loving his eagerness.

Adrian met her gaze, his eyes dizzy with excitement, "Yes! And, ah-"

"Hold on, Adrian." Natalie laid her hand on his chest, bringing him from his scattered thoughts. "It's a little early for those things. But listen, what if we get you a few baby books to read? Some that detail what to expect and some that contain detailed lists of what items we need and when we need them? Would that help?"

Taking a deep breath, he sighed, "It would help. Thank you, Natalie." Adrian settled back in the chair. He blushed and gave a self-deprecating laugh, "I'm sorry for acting so, you know, 'me.'"

"I would have you any other way," Natalie assured, her heart captivated by this complicated man.

Adrian's arms embraced her and she sank into him, curling in against his warmth. She sighed quietly, confident that Adrian Monk would be a wonderful, protective and loving father to their baby girl, just as he had been to Julie. Contentment and peace filled Natalie's heart as she felt the love of her life sigh with the same confidence.

~~~~~MN~~~~~~

A/N: We're at the end, but not really, I guess. For Natalie and Adrian, the great unknown is just beginning…

Please let me know your thoughts on this story & also if you'd like to see anything special in future stories. Well, LOL, if you think I should keep writing! ~xoxo~ Happy holidays & be warm, ya'll!