Title: Careful
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's probably not mine.
Universe: AU in that Remus and Tonks both live through the Battle at Hogwarts. How is up to your own imagination.
Time: About seven months after the end of Deathly Hallows
Characters: Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks
Ships: Remus/Tonks, Harry/Ginny
Genre: Romance, Awkwardness
Summary: Harry's relationship with Ginny has progressed to another level and if he doesn't want to talk to one of the Weasleys about staying safe, he's going to have to make due with talking to Remus.
All week, where ever Harry had gone, the sky had been grey and threatening snow but not a flake had fallen. The wind blew sharply in his face, forcing him to bend down against it as he walked down the street. A train, obviously nowhere near its stop, buzzed on by, forcing more cold air into his face. He pulled his cloak more tightly around him and hurried to the front door of a block of flats. He tapped his wand to the lock and got inside the corridor, glad to be out of the biting wind, even if he wouldn't call the space where he was "warm". Harry headed through the short front hallway, took a left and started up the stairs to the third floor. Outside he could hear another train going by and the wind howling while inside he heard the occupants of one of the flats on the second floor shouting at each other. When he got to flat 304 he stopped and undid his disillusionment charm before knocking. A moment later he heard the noise of locks being undone.
"Harry," Remus greeted, looking confused. "What are you doing here?"
"May I come in?" he asked. Remus pulled the door wide enough to let Harry by but Harry noticed that he looked apprehensive.
"When you taught Defense Against the Dark Arts my third year," Harry began, "you caught me with a map. It proved to be very useful." Remus relaxed and genuinely smiled. The war was over; most people Harry talked to didn't ask for him to identify himself. But Remus and Tonks, he had found out through Bill Weasley, were occasionally getting threats about their "unnatural union". Still, so far they had been nothing but written threats and Remus continued to look better whenever Harry saw him. His hair seemed to have stopped acquiring greys and he seemed to be edging closer to a healthy weight. At any rate, he rarely looked ill anymore except the day after the full moon and even then it was better than it used to be; Tonks was quite good with potions and had taken up making the Wolfsbane potion since their marriage.
"Sorry," he apologized lightly as he shut the door. "Hard habit to break." The sounds of the train, the wind, and the other building occupants evaporated completely as soon as the door was closed. The air was significantly warmer inside and the light was cheerful compared to the grey outside. There was magic here, quietly in the background. He was standing in a muggle kitchen, though the refrigerator wasn't making a normal electric hum and there was no microwave. To the right was a couch, chair, and two large bookcases filled with books, a wireless, and, on the higher shelves, well out of Teddy's reach, potion ingredients. "What brings you here?"
"I needed to ask someone about something," Harry said, glad his cheeks were still likely red from the cold so Remus couldn't see him blush, "and I can't talk to any of the Weasleys." Remus looked at him curiously.
"Do you want to sit down?" Remus asked him beginning to lead the way over to the couch. A coffee table sat in front of them with a pile of essays on top. Remus had been hired at the Care of Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts back in August. Professor McGonagall had, accurately, predicted that Hagrid would be more willing to give up his teaching position to a friend who would have a hard time finding another job. The new headmistress hadn't been able to justify leaving Hagrid in the position when so few of his students managed to pass their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s.
Harry took a seat in the chair as Remus about sat down on the opposite side of the couch from a brown cat, frowned, and then reached down to grab a wooden ring with what appeared to be small bite marks over it. "Teddy's teething," Remus remarked, setting it on the table. "What's bothering you Harry?"
"Ginny's coming home soon," he told him. Remus frowned.
"And that's a bad thing?"
"No, no that's not- When she, back in August, a couple nights before she left actually, she and I, we, um-" Harry paused, trying to think of how to phrase things. He was fairly sure that he was blushing badly. Remus was looking at him kindly but full of confusion. "Things got intimate," Harry said quietly, his face flaming.
"Ah," Remus replied, seeming to grasp what he was saying. "I'm surprised that hadn't happened sooner. You two were quite close this summer."
"There were always people around," Harry told him. "And we weren't officially together until my birthday. And we had done things before but not- we hadn't-"
"Had sex?" Remus filled in. Harry nodded. Remus looked slightly uncomfortable but not nearly as much so as Harry felt. Still, neither of them were anywhere close to as uncomfortable as Harry would be if he'd tried to talk to Mr. Weasley. The thought made him shiver. "Was everything okay?" he asked.
"I think so," Harry answered. "I don't know. She didn't- she's not pregnant or anything but I don't know any spells to keep that from happening or if I was terrible or-" He stopped as he heard a high pitched whistle in the background and turned to look at the stove where a kettle was boiling. A moment later Tonks appeared from around the corner where the bedrooms were.
"Why didn't you tell me you were making tea?" she asked.
"I'm not," Remus told her. "You were. Remember?" Tonks paused where she was her hands on her back. At work, where she wore robes, it was harder to see how big she had actually gotten. Here, while she was wearing a t shirt and low cut jeans it was very obvious that she was entering her third trimester again.
"Oh I was," she concluded. "Wotcher Harry! Do you want a cuppa?" she asked smiling at him.
"Sure, thanks," Harry replied as Tonks padded by.
"Teddy's down already?" Remus asked.
"He was still fussing a little but he'll be out in a minute," Tonks replied, opening a cupboard to pull out three mugs. "I see marking essays isn't going terribly well."
"I needed a break anyway," Remus answered. "Apparently the only good thing about Kneazles is that they're 'so cute' and the only thing you need to know about their care is that they 'need all the love'." Tonks snorted.
"Ah, to be thirteen again," she said, pouring the water. "What brings you here Harry?"
"He just wanted to talk," Remus filled in, saving a grateful Harry from having to answer.
"Why do I sense a 'Tonks, get lost for a while' in that sentence?" she said blithely walking over towards them. She handed a mug over to Harry who said thank you politely, before she leaned over the back of the couch where Remus was. The cat on the other side opened his eyes blearily.
"Of course not," Remus told her, tilting his head back to look up at her. "More of a 'Nymphadora get lost for a while please.'" She glared at him before handing him one of the mugs in her hand. "Thank you. You even remembered the tea bag this time," he teased. Playfully she pushed his head away from her, still glaring.
"I don't mean to-" Harry began but Tonks waved it off.
"I was intending to get in the bath after a cup of tea anyway," she told him. "Have you seen my wand by the way?" she asked Remus.
"It's behind your ear," he told her, tilting his head back again.
"No that's yours. I took it when I couldn't find mine."
"When?" Remus asked incredulously. "I've had it on me all day. You couldn't have-" She pulled the wand out from behind her ear and dangled it in front of his nose. "That's mine," he sighed.
"I am an Auror," she replied cheekily, putting his wand back behind her ear before he could grab it. "Quite adept at covert wand snatching."
"I swear if you've put your wand in the oven again I'm dragging you to the midwife everyday until they find a cure for pregnancy brain," he told her. Tonks just laughed as she went around the corner and disappeared again. The cat jumped down from the couch and followed after her. Harry looked at Remus curiously.
"She's gotten to the point where she doesn't sleep very well. It's making her a bit forgetful," Remus explained.
"Maybe you're not the best one to be asking about avoiding getting a girl pregnant," Harry said, glancing back at the corner where Tonks and her belly full of baby had disappeared.
"Dora and I are an unusual case," Remus said, setting his mug down on the table. "The spell that usually prevents pregnancy in witches stopped working on Dora because of her morphing. Which we were unaware was a documented phenomenon until after she realized she was pregnant a second time. There's a potion many wizards take that essentially keeps their sperm from being viable for a month but it likely interferes with Wolfsbane so it's not an option. Although I'd very much appreciate it if you'd keep all that information to yourself."
"So it would normally work?" Harry asked apprehensively. Remus nodded.
"There's advantages and disadvantages to both. The potion has to be made and is a bit tricky but can be taken beforehand and is effective as long as made correctly. Obviously a bit more costly because you have to buy potion ingredients or buy it directly. The spell has to be used immediately beforehand so it's not uncommon for it to get forgotten. And it can be less effective if the person who casts it is too distracted, which happens decently often." Remus smiled at the look on Harry's face. "Weren't you supposed to learn this your fifth year at Hogwarts?" he asked, getting to his feet and walking toward the bookshelf.
"I think I would have remembered that," Harry muttered.
"Usually it is pretty memorable for people if only because it's awkward," Remus agreed; he was scanning the bookshelf for something and then pulled down a book at about chest height with a brownish-orange cover. "This is Dora's but she won't mind," Remus told him. "Apparently the other female Auror gave it to her when she started training." Harry looked at the title, A Smart Witch's Guide to Safe and Salacious Sex, and raised his eyebrows Remus rolled his eyes good-naturedly in return. "Read the chapter on contraception and decide for yourself about whether to read the rest of it. The potion formulation is in that chapter as are the spell notes."
"You've read the rest of it?"
"I had parts of it read aloud to me by Dora, Sirius, and Kingsley one night when they were making fun of it," he told Harry. "Honestly Kingsley may be a better source of information than I am."
Harry's face paled. "I am not going to the Minister of Magic."
Remus smiled at him. "It would be a little difficult to get his secretary to grant you an appointment for that," he agreed. "But Kingsley would find it amusing." Harry decided it was best to ignore him. Remus seemed to be amusing himself. Harry fidgeted in his seat, trying to figure out how to phrase his next question. He was very aware that Remus was watching him squirm.
"How do you know if you're any good?" he blurted out quietly. Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Talk to Ginny," he answered. "Every girl is different. You need to talk to them and really listen."
"That's it?" Harry asked him.
"I'm hardly an expert. But yes. Talk, listen, be willing to learn. The same things that help any area of a relationship and sound much more simple than they really are."
"But what if she doesn't say anything."
"Then ask."
"And that really works?"
"Yes." Harry paused, mulling this over. Remus apparently took the gap in the conversation to mean that it was over for a short while and picked up one of the essays off the table in front of him. Harry flipped open the book and wandered down the table of contents until he found the chapter he was looking for and began to read.
Tonks came wandering back into the room after a while with the same brown cat following behind her. Her hair was wet and mousy brown at the moment and she was wearing what Harry suspected were Remus's pajama bottoms. Gracelessly she flopped down beside Remus and handed over his wand. "I found mine," she confessed.
"Where was it?" Remus asked, flicking his wand at the scroll he was reading so it unrolled and stiffened flat in front of him.
"In your underwear drawer," she replied nonchalantly. Harry snorted though pretended to still be looking at the book.
"Why?" Remus asked her incredulously.
"I was looking for pajamas. You've taken to hiding all your pajama bottoms."
"I have not taken to hiding them."
"Then why did I find these in there?" Tonks asked him. Remus promptly shut his mouth. "Really though, hiding them in your underwear drawer? What are you, fifteen?"
"At least when I was fifteen it was safe to hide things in my pants," Remus bit back at her playfully.
"Oh sweetie, we can make up for all that lost time if you want," Tonks replied cordially, "but it would be a little rude with Harry right here." Harry found himself blushing a little but it was worth it to see Remus turn bright red. Tonks started to laugh at them, apparently quite pleased with herself. She then stopped suddenly and whined. "Damnit. I thought she'd settled down for a while," she said, moving her hand to her belly.
"Your diaphragm moving probably woke her up," Remus replied smugly as Tonks grabbed his hand and slid it over her stomach. Remus smiled. Harry looked over at them curiously.
"She's kicking up a storm at the moment," Tonks told him. "You can feel if you want." Harry looked over at Remus but the older man had gone back to the essay he was reading and his hand had slid from Tonks's belly to her knee. Cautiously but feeling curious, Harry set the book down in the chair and walked over, hesitantly starting to reach forward before Tonks gently grabbed his hand and moved it to her stomach. Harry blinked as he felt strange movement beneath Tonks's skin. "It freaks me out a little to be honest," Tonks informed him.
"A little? When Teddy started moving you curled up and cried for an hour," Remus commented.
"It's weird," Harry agreed, pulling his hand back but there was a small smile on his face. Tonks was glaring at Remus again.
"I was under a lot more stress," she snipped. Then her smile turned into a smirk and Harry realized she was looking over at the chair he had been sitting in to see the book. "Is that what this conversation was about?" Harry turned bright red.
"You learned contraceptive and STI prevention spells in your fifth year, didn't you?" Remus asked her, not helping Harry's blush. He slunk back to the chair.
"Yes. Well, mostly," she added. "I ended up storming out. We got that year's Defense teacher and he implied that I was undoubtedly already a slut because of my morphing. I told Sprout and she told Dumbledore who was furious, apparently. Sprout and Flitwick decided to teach it from then on, at least until someone stable was in the Defense position." Harry and Remus both turned to look at her. "Not what you were asking?" she asked looking between the two of them.
"I was more so asking because apparently didn't happen during the 1995/96 school year," Remus told her.
"Oh! Yeah, Umbridge cut it that year. A lot of purebloods objected to the curriculum since it mentioned muggle methods; no decent witch or wizard ever sleeps with muggles, you know. Besides, good boys and girls wait until they're married and then want to have as many children as they can to increase the amount of magical blood in the world. So Umbridge claimed it was poisoning the minds of young boys and girls and refused to teach it or let it be taught. Spread around the Ministry as a joke like wildfire."
"So it's Umbridge's fault I don't know this stuff?" Harry asked. Tonks nodded.
"As if any of us needed more of an arsenal of reasons to hate her," Remus said casually through a yawn. Tonks pulled her legs up onto the couch and leaned up against his side. He moved his arm from her knee to the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing against her shoulder.
"So wait if everyone else learned this fifth year, shouldn't Ginny know?" Harry asked.
"I think in all that was going on that year it may have been left out," Remus replied.
"And at any rate, Ginny owled me, worried she might have gotten pregnant back in September, so she's forgotten even if she did know," Tonks added.
"She did?" Harry asked self consciously. "How much exactly did Ginny tell you?" Harry asked her. Tonks just smiled.
"How much have you told Ginny?" Remus inquired.
"Nothing too explicit," she said innocently. Remus and Harry both continued to look at her suspiciously. She seemed to decide to ignore their looks. "Harry, seriously, just talk to Ginny. I filled her in and I'm sure she'll tell you too."
"Because I can't do a good enough job?" Remus asked her.
"Oh don't worry, you've got years to get your spiel down before you need to talk to Teddy."
"I have every intention of convincing him celibacy is worthwhile."
Tonks looked down at her stomach and then looked back up at Remus. "Yes that worked out amazingly well for his father. I'm just imagining someone sitting on my bladder right now."
"But what did Ginny tell you?" Harry pressed. "I mean did she- did she think I was awful?" he asked quietly, not quite able to meet either of them in the eye.
"No she didn't think you were awful," Tonks said more gently. "She had fun. But you should talk to her. It'll get even better for both of you if you talk."
"Remus said the same thing."
"He is intelligent when he's not being a git," Tonks agreed.
"Thank you," Remus told her, a touch of exasperation in his tone. Tonks stuck her tongue out at him but he picked up an essay again and was at least pretending to ignore her. "Nymphadora!" he yelped. Tonks was laughing again, obviously finding herself amusing. "Did you just lick me?"
"Yes."
"You know, Harry, I would seriously consider swearing off women altogether if I were you," Remus informed him. Tonks kept laughing until suddenly she went pale and stopped. Remus turned to look at her. "Just get kicked in the bladder?" he asked calmly.
"Yes," she answered with gritted teeth.
"Maybe people who lick others like dogs should remember that they're not entirely housebroken."
"Shut-up," Tonks told him.
"Taking all your concentration?"
"Are you enjoying my pain?"
"You licked me in front of company."
"You got me pregnant. Twice. After swearing you were sterile."
"If you didn't know he wasn't after Teddy was born, isn't that really on you?" Harry asked. Tonks fixed him with a glare.
"I am going to bed. And I am taking all of the pillows, including the one you hide under the bed that you think I don't know about," Tonks said, uncurling herself from Remus's side. "And Harry?" she added, turning to him with a look that he didn't think boded well at all. "It might be wisest in the future not to anger your coworker that your girlfriend goes to for sex and relationship advice. I know more about you than you would like me to tell anyone else and I haven't even told her half of the terrifying things about pregnancy that might keep her from going anywhere near you." She smirked as Harry's face fell. Her hand began pressing against Remus's leg in an attempt to rise off the couch. Remus, instead, got to his feet and helped pull her to her feet, kissing her gently on the lips before she started to head away again, walking a little awkwardly as if she were still trying to keep control of her bladder.
"Goodnight!" she called to Harry.
"G'night," Harry said quickly, still using most of his brain power to process all the implications of her threat. She rounded the corner, leaving Harry alone with Remus again. The other man was settling back down on the couch.
"Would she really tell people at work what- Well, firstly, do you think she knows-"
"Ginny, to my knowledge, tends to talk to Dora when she wants someone who's an adult but not motherly toward her. And she tends to talk a lot when she does. So yes, I would imagine Dora knows plenty about you and Ginny. But I doubt she'd actually say anything to anyone; she wouldn't want to betray Ginny's trust." Harry sighed with relief before asking, "Do you think she'd scare Ginny away?" Remus paused as though thinking of what to say.
"I don't think it would work. I was with Dora for most of her pregnancy with Teddy and all the way through delivery. I'm still shocked she ever let me anywhere near her again, let alone near enough that we have a daughter on the way. If actually having been pregnant isn't enough of a deterrent, I doubt hearing about it would be. I think there would be a lot fewer people on Earth if it was. Although in all fairness I should warn you to be careful what you're playing with. Pregnancy is uncomfortable as hell for Dora and Teddy has been- I love him dearly but it's life altering in every way."
"I'm not having a kid right now."
"Neither was I," Remus told him smartly. "I'm just warning you. Be careful. Unless you want your wand stolen and your sleep disturbed. And all of Ginny's brothers and parents knowing for sure that you're sleeping with her." Harry's face paled.
"I'll be careful."
Okay, in retrospect I got a little rambly- with this, but hey, random is in the title so really, your own fault for reading. And this is the slightly cut down version. I tried to keep it non-explicit for rating's sake. I have no idea if my guesses as to wizarding contraception are right or not; feel free to share your own ideas if you want. And yes, I know the reason Harry got no sex-ed in the books is because it's wouldn't have furthered the plot, would have angered parents of young readers, etc, but I thought I'd give a plot related reason for it as well. Because, yay, hating Umbridge?
Also, I suck at naming these one-shots. Normally in my computer they're named something dull and direct and then I make up a title when I post. If you have any suggestions for better titles, let me know!