"Bittersweet Chapter 24
Did you tell him about Lizzie? Did he explain why he was here exactly?" Bella found her brain was starting to function again. After the torrid love making with Jake earlier she was still heavy with passion.
"No, he does not know about Lizzie. He came looking for you. I did not tell him you were here with me. He is…well…he is …shit I don't know how to tell you this." Jake rolled his head back against the couch staring up at the ceiling, contemplating how he was about to tell his imprint that her ex husband was now a pack member. That he would be able to phase into a wolf when required. Would she believe it was coincidence? Would she fear he cursed the dude somehow?
"What? Is he as sick as my dad said he sounded?" Bella began to shift, pulling herself half up on the couch so she could look down at Jake whose face was blank with emotions but Bella could make out the fear in his eyes.
"You could say that." Jake closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"What is going on? What are you hiding from me? We swore never to hide things from one another, Jake." Bella cried out as her over reactive imagination began to run a mile a minute with all the possible scenarios that could have happen to Collin, to make Jake worried enough to tell her the truth up front.
Jake sighed heavily as he reached up cupping the side of Bella's face, opening his eyes he gave her a sincere look as he began to reveal the truth to her.
"He is one of us now." Jake began.
Bella scrunched her brows in confusion.
"One of us? Is that some sort of guy code?" Bella replied.
"No, he is a member of my pack. He phased today Bella." Jake answered solemnly while he watched her take in the information. When it began to dawn on her what he was saying to her, he watched as her face turned pale white. She began to crawl over Jake, pacing back and forth behind the couch. Jake sat up on the couch, waiting for her to explode on him.
"You are telling my hus…ex-husband whom I made vows with, had a child with, was planning on spending the rest of my life is now a wolf. A really BIG wolf." Bella's brain could not wrap itself around the news. It was one thing for Jake to be a big bad furry creature who went against vampires but to hear that a man she had known for years had been hiding this same remarkable gift from her was such a blow that she wished he was there. So she could kick him and punch him. Lies. More lies.
"Yes." Jake nodded his head.
"That is impossible Jake. I would have known." Bella cried out in denial.
"Did you know about me?" Jake ask.
Bella walked around the couch to stare at him with fury in her eyes, her body tensed.
"Umm…hello, barely know you. I knew him well enough to marry him. I think I would have noticed some strange things about him before now." Bella knew she was being rude to him but she was still reeling with the news that the father of her child was a wolf now. A wolf under Jake's command. She feared that once he learned about their daughter he might hurt her or worse take their daughter and flee. How could she fight a wolf?
"Bella, honey, it just happened. He had no clue before now. There are really no precise signs that warns you that you will become a bonafide wolf someday." Jake hoped she understood that Collin was just as surprised as she was at the moment. Although he hated the jerk, he did not feel it was fair to allow Bella to direct her anger at her ex when it was not required.
"So…he did not know about any of this until today." Bella stopped in her tracks staring at Jake with such clarity that he had to break into a deep smile watching her body let go of the tension.
"Exactly. None of us are allowed to talk to anyone who is not a wolf about us. The only way you learn about the ability is when you actually phase into one." Jake explained further.
"This is so …so damn unbelievable yet here I stand knowing that I saw it with my own eyes and it is possible." Bella sighed as she covered her eyes with the cup of her hand. She did not want to upset Jake but she was starting to feel overwhelmed. First, people are kidnapping her and trying to kill her, she learns her lover is a big gigantic wolf creature and now her ex suddenly shows up in town and turns in the exact thing her current lover was.
"I just need to take a nap." Bella said softly as she walked past Jake, straight up the stairs to her room.
Jake debated on whether to follow her up. He sensed that she just needed some space, some time to take it all in. In the meantime he had plenty of other things he needed to focus on.
Leah sat in her room staring at the walls that surrounded her. Something had occurred today. Something so odd that she could not place it. She could not honestly even use the right words to describe it.
One minute she was running through the woods with Sam by her side. She was thinking how wonderful it felt to be with him in wolf form. It was the one thing Emily would never get to experience with him. The one thing she still got to share with him since he no longer shared her love for them anymore.
Then the next moment she was staring at new wolf pack member. Her heart beat began to rush so fast, she feared she it might literally explode in her chest. She felt her body grow nearly faint with happiness as she look upon quietly watching Sam rein the scare guy in.
When they returned to the room, changing back into their human forms, she thought the odd sensations would disappear but they only intensified. She look at Sam and it seemed all the anger, resentment, the love that had lingered in her heart after all these years had simply vanished. Poof. Gone. It did not make any sense.
She turn back toward the stranger, who apparently was Bella's ex husband and Lizzie's biological father, the guy that once lived here with them many years before was somehow stirring up something in her that she had only felt once before and that was with Sam.
Was it possible she had managed to do the impossible and imprinted on him? They had never had anyone imprint on another pack member before. Then she recalled she was the only female, so there was no way that had been possible till now. She was scared. She was terrified. She was so afraid to mention to Jake or Sam about what she was experiencing.
She feared if she was wrong they would tease her about it. She got enough teasing from the pack as it was. No need to add more unnecessary attention.
This was another one of those times when she wished she was not the only female in the pack. She would kill to have someone to talk to about this. Someone who would understand her fears, her curiosity and most of all the exhilaration she was feeling as well at the thought she might just have a chance at love again.
Collin laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. This was more than he ever imagine. This was not what he had, had in mind when he started on this search trip to find his ex wife.
He wondered if he had never return here if the wolf would have remained buried within him? Would have surfaced if he had somehow unknowingly been around a bunch? He realized that it was better he experience this here, with people who were familiar and experienced in this. He would have hated to think what would have happen if he had changed with Bella around. She would have definitely been freaked out of her mind.
Thinking of her, he wondered if the Sam would help him locate her. He needed to talk to her. He needed to know she was okay. It would make all of this craziness worth it in the end. He had a feeling that Jake was in charge somehow the way Sam had waited patiently for him at the hotel. The way he had taken charge during the tribal meeting.
It was just his luck that Jake was the leader. The one person whose father had destroyed his childhood during a self loathing episode. He knew that Billy had not intentionally went out of his way to kill his parents that night but it had not stopped the pain nor the anger from wanting to hurt Billy and his family. He just wanted them to suffer an ounce of pain and desolation that he had felt standing over the graves of his parents that day.
Putting his hands behind his head he was reminded of the other person he had met today. Although he had not heard her name, he felt like he should have known her from his childhood as well. It was not like Indians moved in and out of different tribes whenever they felt the need for new scenery. No, they were always born and raised in one place.
Who was she? Why was it when he saw her staring at him with such big dark brown eyes, he felt his body ease up. Why did she make him feel so damn foolish that he was acting out? It was crazy. It was one of the most insane and not to mention painful moments in his life. At least physically painful. The day that their daughter died and been the most painful.
Then the second most painful day had been when Bella had informed him that she no longer loved him nor respected him and wanted out of their marriage. He had wanted to scream at her that she was a fool. She would never know love like his. She would never find anyone who could worship her like he had. Yet, he reminded himself he had brought this all on himself.
During his grief and confusion period he had broken their sacred wedding vows. He had slept with women for meaningless sex. He had hoped it would help break the numbness that he seem to be in all the time.
After they buried their daughter, he had been forced to watch his beloved Bella slowly die as well. She was always sad. She put a barrier between him and her. He tried so damn hard to break it down but she refused to budge. It became so damn unbearable that he screwed up. He reached out for something that had only made him look weak in her eyes.
He never meant to hurt her. He never meant to break her heart. He just found himself exhausted. Mentally and emotionally. He could no longer walk around and pretend that her depression was not as bad as it seemed. He hoped it might even make her wake up in a rage and fight for their marriage. He had gambled and loss it all. She did not fight for them. Instead his whoring ways had only gave her the courage and a reasonable excuse to end the marriage.
Now, here he was trying to hunt her down. Trying to assure himself she was safe and well. That he had not caused her any unrepairable damage. He knew her parents were worried about her. Hell, there had not been a day since he moved out that he did not think of her. He was constantly wondering what she was doing, was she happy, was she sad, or worse had she finally found someone she felt was worthy of her love. Would she start over with someone else someday? Would they start a family that she had wanted so badly?
Tears streamed down the side of his face, into his ears. He knew she deserved so much better. He also knew in his heart that she would find all the happiness that she longed for but it was hard to admit to himself that it would not be due to him.
Closing his eyes, he felt his body trembling as the pain grew within him. He knew this was not a good sign. Sam seemed to know something was happening because a moment later he stepped inside the room giving him a look that warn him he needed to calm the hell down.
Collin wiped away the tears he had shed and took in deep breathes before he was able to relax enough and fall into a deep slumber.
Jake drove over to his Dad's house. It had been quite sometime since he had visited his birthplace. He saw it was in great need for repair. He knew his father could not afford for someone to make those repairs. He felt a surge of guilt explode in his heart.
His father had made many mistakes but looking around at the tall weeds, crumbling paint, he knew he was guilty as well.
Walking to the door, he reached out his fist, lightly tapping against the brittle wood.
He told himself he was just going to explain things that his father deserved to know. Then he was going to leave. He was not going to let him pull him in a fight. Not today. He was too tired to deal with his father's lack of compassion.
The door open a few seconds later.
"Hey dad." Jake said as he looked at his father.
He could smell the beer from where he stood. He bit the tip of his tongue. He knew he should expect no less from the old man but it still hurt him like hell that his father was still being irresponsible.
"Jake." Billy squinted his eyes as he stared up at his son with disbelief on his face.
"Yeah, it is me Dad." Jake replied with a long deep breathe.
"Come inside." Billy wheeled himself back, then headed toward the living room.
Jake followed him inside and was relieved to see that someone was apparently coming over to keep the place tidy. He wasn't sure who had been decent and kind enough to do it for free, because his dad was not working, so his income was limited on his disability.
"Why are you here? Someone die?" Billy ask curiously as he grab the can of beer, staring defiantly up at his son.
"No." Jake frowned at him.
"Then why are you here?" Billy knew he was acting like an ass and should be more grateful toward his son. He was drunk and he knew it was affecting his brain cells.
"I need to talk to you." Jake began as he sat down in the old recliner that he had spent many nights of his childhood.
"Damn it. I am not in the mood for a lecture." Billy gulped down the beer and then slam the empty can down on the table next to him.
"Lecture? Why would I be here for that? It's not like you would listen. Your too stubborn to change." Jake snorted rudely.
"Your right I would not listen and I am stubborn but so are you my dear son." Billy chuckled bitterly.
"Look, I thought you should know that Lizzie's real mother, Bella, is my imprint. I plan on asking her to marry me soon. Her ex-husband arrived in town today. It seems it is someone we both know well." Jake took a deep breathe before he continue.
"Collin. Collin Brady." Jake watched as his father's angry face turn to shock.
"Yeah, ironic isn't it. Lizzie's real father is a member of our tribe." Jake shook his head as he watched his father take it all in.
"That means that ….I ….her grandparents." Billy stop in the middle of his speech as he covered his face with his wrinkled hands.
Jake was surprised by this reaction. He was also trying to figure out where his father's drunken mind was leading him too?
"I killed her grandparents." Billy finished a low sob escaped his lips.
"Yeah, I guess you did." Jake was shock to the core when he realized the truth to his father's words ringing in his head.
"What is he going to do to us?" Billy ask with a hoarse voice.
"Us? Nothing that I know of. It seems that Collin had the wolf gene. He phased today." Jake replied watching as Billy looked startled by this news as well.
"Yeah, it seems I will be his alpha. I am hoping in away that this will help me control him and make him understand why it is important that he does not try to take Lizzie away from us." Jake informed his father of his plans. The way he look at it, Collin could not leave now. If he did want to see Lizzie he would have to remain here. He could not take her far. In away it had turned out in Jake and Bella's favor, with him phasing into one of them.
"I hope your right. You know you are not forced to stay and do what you do. You can walk away from it all. However once you do, you will lose it forever." Billy reminded him of the traditions that he been taught since becoming a wolf.
"I know. I just don't see him doing that so soon." Jake nodded his head in agreement.
"I hope your right. Does he know your with his ex-wife?" Billy could see the fear that was still looming in his son's eyes as he spoke of the Brady boy.
"Not yet." Jake dropped his head as he stared at the beige carpeted floor.
"You feared he will talk to her into coming with him, the three of them leaving." Billy could see where Jake's heavy heart laid the most. It was easy to read to his son when it came to matters of the heart. As much as Jake tried to hide it, he always wore that heart on his sleeve. He often tried to warn Jake that it would get bruised easily if he wore it like that but Jake like his father was stubborn.
"Perhaps." Jake spoke softly as he lifted his head up locking eyes with his father.
"So you came here to tell me all of this, why?" Billy knew he was being hateful but his son rarely ever drop by to see how he was doing or hell even pick up a phone. He knew he had acted in away that was not only shameful but downright wrong but he thought his son understood that like his son, it was hard for him to deny the pain he felt. He would never get past the loss of his wife or the death of friends and fellow tribe members that he had caused during the worse of his grieving process.
"I just thought you should know what was going on, just in case he showed up here. I don't know if he will but you should be weary if you see him." Jake warned him.
"Okay." Billy agreed. He began to remember where he had put the shot gun and hoped like hell he could find the bullets. He was not about to die from a wolf attack. Not that the wolves generally attacked humans but he knew that Collin held a grudge against him. If he was near him he could unintentionally lose control of it, shredding him to pieces before realizing what was going on.
"Okay. Got to run." Jake stood up, smiling gently at his father.
"Jake, you said you planned to marry her. I hope I get an invite." Billy looked at his son with sad eyes.
"You will." Jake promised as he left his father sitting there alone, bitter, and drunk.
Bella tossed the dirty clothes into the washer with Lizzie carefully on her hips. She was keeping a close eye on her. The doctors warned she might have side affects from the procedure or the medicine that followed it.
So far she had not seen anything that gave her great concern.
"You know Lizzie, we need to start on dinner too. What do you want tonight?" Bella spoke to her daughter with a loving tone as they made their way into the kitchen.
Bella gasped as she stared at Leah sitting at the table with an amused expression on her face.
"Leah?" Bella could not explain it but she noticed that Leah look somehow different to her.
"I was on break from patrolling and wanted to stop by to see my girl." Leah explained.
"Oh." Bella handed her daughter into Leah's open arms.
"So what did you inform your mother you were having for dinner?" Leah ask as she smiled warmly at the child.
"I think she mentioned tacos." Bella answered as she dug into the freezer trying to see what they had available.
"Tacos, uh. I bet you like the cheese the most." Leah had Lizzie on her knee, bouncing her gently while Lizzie giggled and smiled from ear to ear.
Bella was not surprised to see how loving Leah was with her child. She knew that Leah had been a big help with Jake after Sienna had abandoned them. She wished she could show Leah her gratefulness for everything she had done for her child and for Jake.
"Where is Jake?" Leah asked curiously as she began to play paddy cakes with Lizzie.
"Not sure. He was not here when I got up with Lizzie." Bella replied as she put the frozen hamburger meat in the microwave, pushing the "thaw" button. Turning around she leaned against he counter watching the show before her.
"Are you two okay?" Leah asked with genuine concern as Lizzie began to chant "pat". Both women laugh at her.
"I think so. I am just trying to take this all in." Bella sighed heavily as she wrapped her arms across her chest.
"I know, it freaked the hell out of me when I first phased." Leah stated as she placed a tender kiss against Lizzie's forehead.
"Did it hurt? It looks like it does." Bella asked.
"Oh yeah. I thought every bone in my body was literally breaking, snapping…then the burning and itchy sensation nearly caused me to have a heart attack. At least it felt that way." Leah chuckled sadly as she recalled staring at Sam and Jake after the big change. The way Sam had appeared to look at her with such sorrow. It was obvious he had not been pleased with her unexpected membership of their all male gang.
The microwave ding. Bella pulled out the meat. Pulling out a skillet she tossed the semi thawed meat in it. Turning the heat on low she continue to enjoy the time with Leah and Lizzie.
"What about now? Does it still hurt you?" Bella continue to ask questions that had began to pop in her head.
"No, not really. I was wondering where you and your ex-husband stood? I was there when he phased." Leah asked as she lifted her eyes up from Lizzie's face, watching the emotions that quickly crossed Bella's face before she pulled herself together.
"Honestly, I can't say. He hurt me. He betrayed me. He might not have meant to, but he did. We can never go back to who we use to be." Bella replied as she grabbed a spatula out, tossing the meat around.
"Are you still in love with him?" Leah knew she was seriously out of her mind to be asking such forward questions to a woman she barely knew. She also knew if Bella was the one asking her, she would have felt offended but these feelings she was having about a man she did not know a thing about were still growing strongly. Each second that went by the more she long to go to him. To just look at his face. To be assured he was safe.
"NO, I will always love him. He is the father of Lizzie. But I am not IN love with him. I love Jake." Bella replied proudly as she thought of the crazy sex that they had earlier in the day.
"Well, I guess you would have too, I mean being his imprint and all. Does it hurt being away from him since you are his imprint?" Leah heard the questions rolling out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She was not sure if Jake had even explained any of it to her or if he was waiting on the right moment to tell her. She just needed to know how another imprint felt when they were away from their mate.
"Imprint? What the hell is that? Why would I have to be that in order to love Jake?" Bella's eyes narrowed as she saw the moment of fear cross Leah's face before she covered it up with a smile.
"It's nothing. Just a Indian thing." Leah answered hoping like hell she was covering her tracks.
"A Indian thing, uh. Interesting." Bella turned back around pushing the meat around while listening to Leah and Lizzie continue playing with one another until she heard the front door open and a second later she felt her heart racing, she knew somehow he was home. Her Jake.