Chapter 25: Shaken

Light filtered in through the tent's canvas walls, causing Tidus to open his eyes. It was morning, but how late in the morning, Tidus wasn't quite sure. He and Cloud hadn't exactly been concerned about going to sleep at a decent time the night before. Tidus yawned, still too groggy to really wake up, but when he rolled onto his back, pain immediately roused him. He groaned a little and returned to lying on his side, frustrated by the throbbing injuries his old man had given him. This time when he opened his eyes, his irritation fell away. There in his line of vision lay Cloud. Tidus' pursed lips relaxed as he admired the sight.

Cloud was still asleep, his lightly shut eyes and rosy pink lips making Tidus envy his beauty. Those lips... They were parted ever so slightly, like they were waiting for him. They were open just enough that if Tidus had wanted to, he probably could have pressed his own lips against them and they would have been a perfect fit, but Tidus didn't want to risk waking Cloud up. He simply wanted to stare.

Despite Cloud's obvious beauty, there was still something about him in that moment that drove a disquietude into Tidus' heart. Even in sleep, Cloud couldn't hide his demons. Tidus could see it in his face, the slight twinging of his brows, the downward tug at his lips. Sometimes Tidus wished he had witnessed the hardships that Cloud had faced, just so he could understand him a little better, help him a little more, but maybe he was better off not knowing those memories that still to this day tormented Cloud. He had to believe his methods of comforting Cloud worked better when he was distanced from the things that put Cloud at such unease.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Tidus propped himself up on one elbow, leaned forward, and pressed a light kiss to Cloud's forehead. When he broke the contact, he fondly stared at Cloud again; the tension in the Ex-SOLDIER's sleeping features briefly vanished. Tidus smiled, a warmth filling him when he realized that he was capable of taking some of Cloud's pain away. Even last night had proved that. A few months ago, Cloud would never have gotten that close to him, but they were now starting down a new road. They cared about each other now. Things were different. Better.

Tidus smiled again as he pressed one more lingering kiss to the tip of Cloud's nose. He drew his lips lightly along Cloud's skin as he pulled back. Along the way, he'd done something right. That much was certain.

"What are you doing?" Cloud murmured, startling Tidus and causing him to yank his head back. Cloud's eyes remained closed, which Tidus was thankful for because the falsely innocent expression that had appeared on his face probably wasn't one that was becoming of him.

"I was just... uh... There was a bug on your nose, so I was brushing it off for ya," Tidus lied, eyes wide.

"Uh-huh. A bug," Cloud repeated, a smirk ebbing at the corners of his tired mouth. His incredulous tone made Tidus want to break out in laughter, but he held back, and instead decided to keep his fib going a little longer.

"That's right." Tidus nodded enthusiastically, though Cloud still couldn't see him through closed lids.

"And you were getting rid of it with your lips?" Cloud asked, finally opening his eyes and meeting Tidus' wary gaze.

"Um... yup. You know, those are tasty little critters!" Tidus playfully chuckled. Cloud shook his head and briefly closed his eyes again, visibly amused. Tidus loved that look he was wearing; he actually seemed comfortable. In time, moments like these might actually make Cloud happy.

"Never a dull moment with you around, huh?" Cloud met Tidus' gaze again, a small smile growing on his lips.

"You'll get used to my insanity. Eventually," Tidus simpered. He half-expected Cloud to laugh along with him, but the emotion in Cloud's eyes had quickly turned to a serious one. Tidus' grin vanished as Cloud stared at him, and he silently waited for an explanation. After a few seconds, Cloud opened his mouth.

"You know, Tidus, from now on, if you want something from me, you don't have to hide it. Just ask." There was a firmness, yet a sincerity, in Cloud's voice.

It took Tidus a minute to really gather what Cloud was trying to say, but when he did, he realized that Cloud's attitude about their relationship had shifted somewhere along the way. They were a couple now, and Cloud was ready to act as such. Tidus deserved some reciprocity.

"Really? So, if I want to kiss you—" Tidus asked, looking a little surprised.

"You're allowed," Cloud answered, like Tidus should have known. Tidus' mouth twitched upward a little; he felt almost giddy with embarrassment, but definite elation, too. That beautiful feeling, however, had a very short lifespan.

Even if Tidus had Cloud's permission, he knew that for both their sakes he couldn't rush things. Moving forward with Cloud, to some degree, still felt like walking on ice. Things could be great now, but Tidus knew it wouldn't take much to say the wrong thing or make the wrong move, and send them spiralling backwards.

"But last night, when I asked if we could— I mean, I went too far, and..." Tidus trailed off, head lowering and cheeks reddening as he remembered his untimely request for sex. Cloud merely held up a hand and closed his eyes, appearing unfazed.

"Tidus, you're nineteen. I'm not going to hold that against you. It's a natural urge."

"Yeah, I guess, but I..." Tidus left another sentence unfinished as his mind repeatedly told him that that wasn't the extent of what was bothering him. He'd always heard that men tended to have more of a physical relationship, but last night had made him think that Cloud was even more sensitive than he had previously believed.

It was just a hunch he had, but he thought that perhaps for Cloud, being intimate was a part of moving on. Cloud had come a long way, sure, but Tidus was well aware that he wasn't ready for such a big step forward; the past still clung to him too tightly. That was why Tidus was so nervous now. It wasn't the first time he'd tried to push something on Cloud that Cloud hadn't been ready for, and the last time he had, it had resulted in Cloud pulling away.

"Well, I'm kind of afraid to get too close. Last time I did that... I sorta lost you," Tidus said, his head dropping a little, making him break eye contact. Cloud didn't need to be told to which occasion Tidus was referring.

"Yeah," Cloud said, softly, remembering the way he had abandoned Tidus after their first kiss, the way he had broken both their hearts with one blow. "That's why I want to make sure I don't mess things up again," he finished.

Tidus could feel Cloud watching him, and he brought his eyes up to meet his gaze. There was guilt in Cloud's eyes, and Tidus suddenly felt ashamed for making him feel that way.

"Cloud, I didn't mean... I'm not blaming you," Tidus assured him. Cloud gave him a soft smile.

"I know."

Tidus studied Cloud carefully, his twinkling aqua eyes looking up to stare at the tent above. He was silent, but the twitch of his mouth made Tidus think he wanted to say something else. Tidus pushed himself up on his elbow again and waited patiently, hoping Cloud would have the courage to open up to him.

"I have to apologize," Cloud eventually said, his eyes still focused on the tent.

"For what?" Tidus asked, lifting his head to give Cloud his utmost attention.

"I took you for granted for a long time. You were there for me, even when I did nothing to show my appreciation."

"That's okay," Tidus replied, softly.

It was true, there had been lots of times when Tidus had wished Cloud would acknowledge his kindnesses. There were times when Tidus felt he truly did deserve a thank you, and didn't receive one, but Cloud had long since made up for those. Tidus wasn't looking for his apologies anymore, or even his gratitude; the fact that he was now returning those kindnesses in ways of his own was more than enough.

"Even now, I'm not always that good at letting you know how grateful I am that you're with me. I just never want you to feel... like I don't care about you," Cloud said, turning to his companion.

Tidus pondered for a second or two, eyes blinking quickly as those words rushed to his Cloud-adoring brain. With a deep breath, he began to speak, his excited heart thumping against his ribs.

"To be honest, for a while, I didn't know if you would ever return those feelings I had for you. But, after you came back, and after last night..." Tidus said, trailing off when Cloud's small smile became contagious.

Tidus lowered his head, for he was sure his red cheeks were returning. Both men grew silent, but Cloud soon cleared his throat, wanting to make his point clear.

"Still, I'm sorry about before," Cloud said, his smile fading a little, but Tidus quickly shook his head to silence him.

"It doesn't matter. That's all in the past now," Tidus said, voice not much above a whisper as he once again lay down at Cloud's side. "And this time, we're gonna get this right," he went on, pausing for a second. "Aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are," Cloud agreed, leaning forward and meeting Tidus' lips in a familiar touch.

The kiss was short and sweet, and when it ended, Tidus scooted in closer to Cloud's warm body. Cloud was quickly greeted by the comfort of Tidus' forehead against his own, and he laced his arms around Tidus' bare waist to make sure his partner knew he was enjoying the contact. They closed their eyes and let the warmth wash over them.

The feel of Tidus in his arms was somewhat surreal to Cloud, but it was something he was sure he could get used to. It had always been hard for him to imagine anyone warming up to him, especially to this extent, but Tidus' persistence had given Cloud confidence; Tidus saw something in him, and maybe it didn't matter what that something was anymore. After all, Cloud saw something special in Tidus as well, even if he couldn't identify it enough to put a label on it.

"How does your back feel?" Cloud asked, adjusting his grip so that it wasn't too tight.

"It's still pretty sore," Tidus admitted.

"You're not going to fight Jecht again today, are you?"

"No."

"Good."

They lay in peaceful silence, their bodies becoming more and more relaxed the longer they held each other. Cloud's eyes eventually fell closed again, and Tidus began to trace the contours of Cloud's chest, hoping the contact might keep Cloud from drifting off. Cloud couldn't stop the corners of his lips from curving into a slight smile as Tidus' lightly calloused fingers grazed his skin.

"I've been thinking about that battle," Tidus spoke up, unfortunately bringing Cloud out of his peaceful state. Cloud didn't open his eyes, but a crease appeared between his brows as he listened.

"Yeah?" he cautiously inquired.

"A long while back, near the beginning of our journey, that guy in gold... The Emperor? He said something to me. 'Hatred alone will never yield the crystal'. I wonder what that means." Tidus' voice was quiet, but steady, as were his fingertips as they brushed over pale skin.

"Sounds to me like your motivation for obtaining your crystal needs to include more than mere hatred."

"That's the conclusion I came to, too. I don't know. I've just been thinkin' it all over. Maybe I did go into that battle thinking I could beat my old man to a pulp if I was angry enough at him."

"But now you believe you need more than that?" Cloud asked, eyes drifting open and locking with those a deeper shade of blue.

"Basically, yeah. I just hope I'm right, that's all. And I hope I can figure out what else I need in order to win. I wanna be better prepared next time," Tidus finished with a sigh. He couldn't help but notice Cloud pull him in a little tighter with those words. Was Cloud as nervous as he was when it came to the fight against Jecht?

"Of course," came Cloud's reply. "But don't worry about it right now, okay? You need to rest up first. Think things through."

"Yeah," Tidus nodded, mostly to put Cloud's mind at ease. He was enjoying this moment together too much to ruin it.

He brought his attention back to his hands as they roamed Cloud's chiseled front. They travelled up to his clavicle and brushed in and around every dent and furrow before trailing down to the left side of his chest and pausing on one of Cloud's most obvious imperfections. It wasn't long before Cloud caught him staring at the old injury.

"This scar... It's from Sephiroth, isn't it? From when he attacked you in the woods?" Tidus asked, his fingertips rubbing the whitish, raised skin.

"No, that one was from the first time he attacked me," Cloud replied, with a slight shake of his head. Tidus frowned.

"The first time?"

"Mm-hmm. At the reactor in my hometown."

"And this one?" Tidus asked, his fingers ghosting their way down to the second scar that lay just about an inch below the first.

"That was from the attack in the woods," Cloud told him.

"Oh," Tidus said, softly as he continued to skim his fingers over the flawed skin. "At least the fight's over. At least he's gone."

A knot instantly formed in Cloud's stomach. Sephiroth, gone? Cloud certainly hoped so, but lately, he hadn't been so sure. Events just didn't seem to be adding up.

"Yeah. Now we just need to get you safely through your battle," Cloud said, brushing past the words that worried him, and holding Tidus a little tighter still. Tidus' heart sank. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty for what had happened in the battle against Jecht, but he did.

"I'm sorry I messed up, Cloud."

"That wasn't your fault. No one could have endured an attack like that and kept fighting. Jecht was too hard on you."

"But, I don't want him to hold back," Tidus tried to explain. "If I can't beat him when he's at his strongest, then it's like I'm not really beating him at all."

"Mm. I know what you mean," Cloud said, nodding against Tidus' forehead, noses rubbing tenderly together. "But, what's most important is that you survive. The fight isn't as important as the outcome."

"I guess you're right," Tidus sighed.

"When you've seen as many battles as I have, you'll come to realize that fighting isn't always as glorious as it's cracked up to be."

"Cloud?" Tidus pulled his head back to properly look his partner in the eye. "You really are tired of fighting, aren't you?" Cloud's expression weakened a little. He'd been fighting since he was thirteen. Eight years was more than enough.

"Yeah," he eventually admitted. "I am."

Tidus rolled back in against him, this time tucking his head under Cloud's chin, and pressing his ear to his chest. His arms snaked their way around Cloud's middle, and locked around his back.

"It's like I can't escape it," Cloud said, softly. "Even if I'm not the one fighting, I see battles and wars wherever I go."

Cloud stopped for a moment, thinking, and Tidus listened patiently to the sound of Cloud's heartbeat. He couldn't help noticing the way it sped up as Cloud continued to speak.

"And there's always someone who doesn't make it out alive," Cloud finished, voice low. Tidus rubbed gently at Cloud's back.

"Don't you remember when you said we were gonna fight Chaos and win? I still believe we can do that. And maybe you were just saying that for the sake of me and the others, but I think some part of you still believes it, too."

"Maybe you're right," Cloud replied, with a half-smile, but Tidus could tell from his voice that he was still troubled. Tidus didn't let him worry for long.

"Hey, things might look dim now, but we're gonna get through this!" he practically cheered.

Tidus' sudden enthusiasm took Cloud by surprise. This time, Cloud was the one to pull away to gape at Tidus', and when Cloud met those blue eyes, bright and shimmering with hope, Cloud managed a smile.

"You really have a gift, Tidus. Not everyone can see things from such a positive perspective. Don't let yourself lose that way of thinking." Tidus gazed into his partner's honest eyes and smiled. He would never get tired of knowing Cloud admired him, even in small ways such as this.

"I won't," he promised. His response seemed to put Cloud at ease.

Cloud let out a light chuckle when Tidus' stomach let out a hungry growl a second later, bringing their emotional conversation to a close.

"Sorry 'bout that," Tidus laughed.

"That's alright," Cloud said, finally letting Tidus go and pushing himself to sit up. "I'll go out and look for something good to eat."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Tidus asked, picking his head up to get a better look at Cloud. The elder male reached for his shirt that had been discarded at the end of his sleeping bag the night before, and pulled it on over his head.

"You're still hurt. Why don't you stay here and rest? I'll heal you some more when I get back if you need me to," Cloud said, standing up and collecting his sword.

"Okay, but you be careful out there on your own," Tidus reminded him, a small smile on his face.

"I will be," Cloud promised, giving Tidus a soft smile in return. "Don't starve on me, alright?"

"I'll try not to," Tidus chuckled, staring fondly as Cloud headed for the exit of the tent.

Cloud stared incredulously at the red fruit in his palm. He had been nothing short of shocked to find a few apple trees not far from the campsite, and was even more surprised by how perfect the apples looked. Each one was beautifully rounded, and glistened brilliantly in the morning sunlight. Cloud felt his mouth watering just looking at them.

Before he could stop himself, he was taking a bite. Might as well make sure they tasted as good as they appeared before bringing them back to a ravenous Tidus anyway. He had nothing to worry about. The apple was sweet and juicy, just as he'd expected judging by its exterior. No doubt Tidus would be pleased.

Cloud released a contented sigh, and glanced up at the tree before him, taking in its beauty, and plucking a couple more apples for his companion. He stuffed them into his item bag, and turned to leave, but paused as he caught a blur of movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned toward the motion, letting his breakfast fall, and readying his sword instead.

He heard footsteps, but they were coming from behind. Two enemies? This wasn't good. Cloud spun toward the footsteps, only to see Firion rushing out from within the trees.

"Cecil! Cecil, wait! O-oh, Cloud!" he stuttered, ceasing his pursuit when his eyes fell upon his comrade.

"Firion, did you say Cecil?" Cloud questioned, following Firion's gaze as it turned toward the trees behind Cloud. Both men caught another glimpse of movement, and as white armour took off into the woods, the Cosmos warriors followed at a dead run.

The sound of rustling trees was ferocious as the three rampaged through the foliage—the supposed 'Cecil' up ahead, and Firion and Cloud hot on his trail. Cloud swung the Buster Sword onto his back, hoping it would allow him to run faster.

"Firion, what's going on?" he asked, through quick breaths.

"I'm sure that's Cecil," Firion replied, just as winded from the run.

Eventually, they came to a clearing, but the figure they had been chasing was nowhere in sight. Firion glanced around wildly, and Cloud stared into the brush behind him, wondering if they had taken a wrong turn somewhere. The woods were silent, and with no possible way of knowing where they had lost Cecil's trail, they had no choice but to give up.

Firion doubled over, his hands resting on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. Cloud waited for him to recover before he spoke.

"So, you've seen him, too," Cloud hummed. Firion's eyes darted upward, meeting Cloud's in a curious glance. The warrior pushed himself to stand straight.

"You have encountered him as well?" Firion asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah. At least, I think so. This isn't the first time I caught a glimpse of something and thought it was Cecil, although I don't know how to explain it."

"Yes. Witnessing his death does make it difficult to rationalize this," Firion agreed. He glanced around again, almost warily, as if making sure they weren't being watched. Cloud quickly caught on.

"Right, maybe we shouldn't discuss this here," he said, waving for Firion to follow him. Firion nodded and headed after Cloud, passing back through all the foliage they had trampled to get here.

"How goes the journey?" Cloud asked, quietly, head turning back toward Firion as they walked. Firion smiled, a hand instinctively going to his pocket to make sure all his belongings were still there.

"I've obtained the crys—" Firion caught himself mid-sentence, not wanting to say too much in case they were in fact in the presence of Chaos troops. "I should say... that which Cosmos willed us to find."

"Oh. Good for you," Cloud replied, though his congratulations sounded a little dry. He couldn't help it. Every time the issue of the crystals came up, a lump formed in his throat, and he couldn't shake that dreaded feeling that he'd done something wrong.

"How did you do it?" he dared to ask.

"Let's just say the Emperor is no longer a threat," Firion answered, a small smile on his face, but Cloud couldn't bear to see it.

So, it did seem that that was the way of obtaining the crystals. Each warrior had to fight his or her nemesis from the respective homeworlds. Cloud had done so, yet he still had no crystal. He didn't even want to imagine the reason why. He simply hoped the walk back to camp would be a short one.

The sound of voices outside the tent awoke Tidus from his slumber. He blinked a few times, realizing he must have dozed off sometime after Cloud had left. He rolled onto his stomach, knowing his back would still cause him pain if he were to lay on it. He listened hard, and immediately recognized the voices, but his stomach flipped when he heard the distress in their tones.

"But honestly, we can't be sure until we can catch him and confront him. Perhaps it was merely a manikin," Firion was saying.

"I don't think so. The way it looked and moved was identical to... Unless it wasn't your average manikin. Maybe it was like the ones Tidus and I encountered before," Cloud answered him.

"Do you want me to go investigate further?" Firion asked.

"No, I want you to stay here with Tidus. I'll go see what information I can find."

"Should we tell...?"

"No. Not until we're sure. It would only upset him," Cloud said.

Tidus held his breath for a moment, hoping to catch another word of what they were saying, but the men had grown quieter. The next thing Tidus knew, the tent was being opened, and he quickly sat up to greet his visitors, though he met them with a sour face.

"What's going on?" Tidus asked, folding his arms.

"Tidus, I thought you were asleep," Cloud answered, dropping a bag, which Tidus assumed was full of food, down beside Tidus' bedroll.

"I was. I'm not now. What's going on?" Tidus repeated. Firion moved forward and knelt down beside his friend.

"Cloud thinks he spotted something in the woods. He's going to scope it out," Firion said, gently.

"What are you doing here, Firion? Where's Squall?" Tidus asked, frowning as he got the feeling his friends were keeping something from him.

"Squall wished to continue on alone. I'd hoped I would be able to meet up with you two," Firion explained.

"Tidus, Firion's gonna stay here and heal you for a while, okay? I'll be back soon," Cloud said, nudging the bag of food with his foot. "There's a couple of apples in there for you."

"Cloud!" Tidus nearly shouted, leaving Cloud no choice but to meet his pleading gaze. "Please, tell me what's goin' on," the younger man begged, his voice weakening.

Firion and Cloud exchanged quick glances, then Cloud heaved a sigh and knelt down in front of his dear comrade. This was Tidus. Cloud couldn't keep this secret from him any longer, not with that betrayed look in his eyes.

"Listen, Tidus. I don't know what this means yet, but the other night, I was sure I spotted Cecil when we were travelling. And just now, it happened again," Cloud explained, leaving Tidus awestruck. His mouth parted in shock, his brows twisting up into a look of confusion.

"Cecil?" Tidus repeated. Cloud placed a hand on Tidus' knee.

"I know it doesn't make much sense. That's why I'm going to check it out."

Everyone fell silent. Firion and Cloud kept a close watch on Tidus, hoping for some change in his expression, but once it had gone from shock to sadness, it remained unchanging.

"Yeah, you should go," Tidus eventually said, his voice low and solemn, face drenched in anguish.

"I'll be as fast as I can. We all want answers," Cloud told him, standing up again.

"Be careful, Cloud," Firion warned, giving Cloud a friendly pat on the shoulder. Cloud gave him one in return.

"Cloud," Tidus spoke up, and Cloud looked back at him, their gazes intertwining. They could see the longing in each other's eyes, the desire for some sort of proper parting, but they couldn't act on it. Not with Firion here.

"Take care, okay?" Tidus' voice had grown even weaker than it had been. Cloud gave him the most reassuring nod he could manage.

"You, too," Cloud replied, honesty shining in his eyes. Then he turned and was gone before either could say another word. Tidus rubbed his arm, hoping it would ease the sudden chill that had gone through him.

"Do you want something to eat?" Firion asked, gently, offering Tidus the bag of food. Tidus turned away, hiding his face.

"I'm not really hungry anymore."

"Do you want me to heal you for a bit? Cloud said you were pretty badly hurt."

"Sure," Tidus sighed, rolling onto his stomach and burying his head in against the top of his sleeping bag.

He heard Firion digging through his own knapsack until he found his healing materia, then he pressed his soft fingertips to Tidus' bruised back. Tidus folded his arms out in front of him and lay his face in the crook of his elbow, hoping it would conceal the look of utter torment on his face.

What if Cecil really was back? What would that mean? If he'd had the chance to talk to Cloud alone, perhaps he could have gathered more information. Even if it'd taken some convincing, Cloud probably would have been honest with him about what he'd seen, or what his speculation was on the matter. If nothing else, he would have at least offered some comfort.

"Does it feel any better?" Firion asked. Tidus could feel the cool sensation of the magics seeping through his pores, and he knew Firion was the better of the two healers, but he yearned for Cloud; Cloud's touch was much more soothing to him. Cloud's healing powers went beyond the physical, and perhaps that was what Tidus needed most right now.

"Cecil?" Cloud called out as he walked warily through a cluster of trees. He was sure this was the place where he and Firion had spotted Cecil before. He'd caught just a glimpse of silver hair, and white and mauve armour, but it was a sight he'd also seen a few nights prior, which made him feel certain he hadn't imagined it, especially since this time, Firion had witnessed it as well. It didn't seem likely that Cecil had survived after they had watched him fade, but maybe by some miracle, he had.

"Cecil!" Cloud yelled again.

"You looking for this puppet?" came a voice that Cloud wasn't expecting. He immediately drew his sword and waited until Jecht walked out from behind one of the trees and pushed Cecil out in front of him, a strong fist clutching him by the shoulder.

"Puppet?" Cloud repeated, frowning. "What have you done to him?!"

"Quit yer yellin'. I didn't do a thing," Jecht shot back, shoving Cecil a few steps forward.

Cecil caught his footing and looked up at Cloud. When their eyes met, Cloud felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight. Cecil's blue eyes were now a deep shade of red, and the emotion in them was just... gone. Cloud swallowed, hoping it would wet his mouth enough to speak.

"Then what happened? This was Chaos' doing, right?"

"Using him? Hell, yeah. But it wasn't Chaos who brought him back," Jecht explained. Cloud continued to frown, unsure of whether he could trust Jecht or not, especially when he was talking in hints.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, slowly. He tried to ignore the way Cecil's emotionless eyes were still boring into him.

"Your goddess? Cosmos? She's the one who revived him. She's the reason he's a vegetable right now," Jecht explained, giving Cecil a hard pat on the shoulder, but the knight hardly flinched.

"What... What did she do?" Cloud asked, stunned that his voice wasn't failing him.

"Don't worry. Once he gets his memories back, he'll be fine. Just hope he'll stay on Chaos's side once he does," Jecht said, looking like he was about to turn and leave.

"Jecht!" Cloud shouted, tightening his grip on his sword.

Jecht stared at Cloud, his harsh expression fading a little when he saw the defeated expression in the Cosmos warrior's eyes. Whoever this soldier was, he looked like he was about as tired of fighting as was Jecht himself. Surely, he, too wanted to get out of this world as soon as possible.

"Please... If you know something about Cosmos' intentions, tell me. If not for my sake, then at least for Tidus'. He feels responsible for Cecil's death," Cloud explained, wishing he could muster more volume to his voice. Jecht stared at him a moment longer, then liberated a heavy sigh.

"Don't tell anyone I told ya, but seems to me, Cosmos doesn't like losing," Jecht replied, taking a few steps toward Cloud and nudging the puppet-like Cecil out of the way.

"What does that mean?" Cloud asked, lowering his sword slightly.

"When one of her warriors dies, she has a way of bringing 'em back. Doesn't matter how many times they bite the dust, she brings 'em right back into the fight."

"If that's true, then..." Cloud whispered, lowering his head. After a second, his eyes darted up to look at Jecht once more. "Jecht, does Chaos have power like this as well?"

"I'm not your ally, you know?" Jecht groaned, rubbing the back of his head, a gesture that Cloud quickly recognized as one of Tidus'.

"Just tell me," Cloud hissed through gritted teeth. "For Tidus."

Jecht swallowed, his mind wandering to his son. What kind of state was he in, he wondered. If his companion was here, begging for answers, how badly was Tidus hurt? How badly did he need to be returned to his homeworld? Jecht sighed again, unable to keep information to himself when his son was involved in this battle as well.

"They're working on it," Jecht admitted.

"Then... The fighting won't stop, will it? We're stuck in this endless cycle where no one can ever win," Cloud babbled, his words coming out in a rush. He felt like his world was crashing around him. He couldn't fight forever; he didn't have it in him.

"Calm down, kid. There are still ways to win," Jecht said, folding his arms in front of his tattooed chest.

"Like what? Wait until Chaos captures all of the revived Cosmos warriors?" Cloud demanded, casting a quick glance at the still motionless Cecil.

"That's one of 'em."

Cloud turned on his heel, fuming. Here he'd been, worried about losing this fight, terrified for Tidus' safety and the safety of his friends, when really, none of it mattered. If they were defeated, they would come back. And depending on who got to them first when they were revived, they would either fight for or against Chaos. What did it matter anyway? No matter what side they were on, in time, it would all start over again. And if Chaos was working on a way to revive his own warriors, then certainly, Cosmos didn't stand a chance. Not a chance in the world. Cloud couldn't bear to fight Sephiroth again. He just couldn't.

"Kid!" Jecht shouted, making Cloud stop in his tracks. Cloud was amazed when he'd actually managed to stop his shaking feet from moving.

"What?" Cloud snapped, refusing to turn around.

"My son..." Jecht trailed off. "Is he alright?"

Cloud's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Tidus, and he turned to face the Chaos warrior once more, his emotions freezing. He didn't know whether he should be feeling anger or sympathy. Quite honestly, right now he felt nothing.

"You know," he breathed, head falling forward sorrowfully. "It amazes me that Tidus turned out so well. To think someone could grow up in such a negative environment, and still end up being so kind... He's not like you or I."

"What are you getting at, boy?" Jecht tested, cocking his head to the side, his red eyes flaming.

"Your son has true strength. He doesn't need to fight you to prove that," Cloud frowned. Jecht appeared amused.

"You Cosmos kids sure have a sappy view o' life."

"We simply focus on emotions other than hate," Cloud explained, voice lacking the anger he expected it would hold. He turned around, heading on his way, but Jecht interrupted again.

"Hey. My kid—" Cloud reluctantly halted, and turned his head just enough so that Jecht could hear his words.

"Tidus will be fine," Cloud assured him, with a gentle nod. Then he turned back around, leaving Jecht and Cecil behind, and hurried toward the tent as fast as his body would permit.

"Cloud? Is something troubling you?" Firion asked, a look of concern appearing on his face as Cloud stormed into the tent.

"How is Tidus?" Cloud shot back, ignoring Firion's question altogether and heading for his knapsack in the corner of the tent. Firion cast a glance at Tidus from where he sat, just a few feet away.

"He fell asleep not long after you left. I believe the pain was wearing him out," Firion replied.

"Keep him safe, alright?" Cloud said, digging through his knapsack and discarding all of the unnecessary items onto the floor of the tent.

"Where are you going?" Firion demanded, standing up and approaching Cloud. He watched as Cloud tossed a couple of rings and charms out of his pockets to reduce his load.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Cloud said, removing two materia from his knapsack and drawing it closed. He removed his sword from his back and slipped the two materia into the slots on his blade.

"Cloud, slow down. What's got you so upset? Did you find something out about Cecil?" Firion asked. Cloud stopped what he was doing and slowly brought his eyes up to meet his companion's. He didn't speak, but Firion saw the answer to that question in his weary eyes.

"What happened?" Firion asked.

"Come on," Cloud sighed, placing a gentle hand on Firion's shoulder and coaxing him to follow him out of the tent. "Let's talk somewhere else. I don't want to wake Tidus."

"Cloud, you're being reckless!" Firion argued, his expression fiercer than Cloud was accustomed to, but Cloud still remained indifferent.

"Yeah, well, someone has to be," Cloud retorted, holding his blade out in front of him and inspecting it, making sure it was ready for combat. "Sitting around has gotten us nowhere."

Firion lumbered into the tent with a heavy heart. He let out a soft sigh, and jumped when he realized Tidus was sitting up, staring at him. Firion shook his head to rid himself of his surprise.

"Tidus, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Did Cloud get back yet?" Tidus asked, quickly.

Firion felt his mouth go dry. Tidus' curious glance, his innocent half-smile... Firion knew he wouldn't be able to lie to him for long when he was looking at him that way.

"He had to go somewhere else," Firion explained, kneeling down at Tidus' side and placing a hand on Tidus' shoulder.

Tidus looked into Firion's eyes, and he immediately knew something was off from his friend's nervous expression. Tidus frowned a little, his heart starting to beat faster.

"Firion... What's wrong?" he asked, slowly, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Nothing's wrong," Firion said, forcing a shaky smile, but Tidus saw right through it.

"Cloud's okay, right?" Tidus' voice was weakening. Firion didn't respond. Instead, his gaze fell away from Tidus' as remorse swelled inside him.

"Where did he go?!" Tidus shouted, scrambling to his feet and staring down at Firion with penetrating eyes. Firion didn't have the courage to look at him, but somehow, he was still brave enough to declare the answer he sought.

Firion spoke. Tidus froze. Silence followed, and Firion's eyes eventually wandered upward. Tidus stared down at his once-trusted companion, his face emotionless for a second, then it twitched with anger before he grabbed his sword. He marched out of the tent without even bothering to fully dress himself again, and ignoring Firion's desperate calls for him to stay.

"Chaos!" Cloud screamed up at the sky, the Buster Sword held out to his side, clenched tightly in his hand. "This ends now! Show yourself!"

Cloud knew he was far enough from the campsite to keep Firion and Tidus safe. He was worried about what Tidus might do if he lost this fight, but if what Jecht said was true, then he would come back. Nothing he did in this world would matter unless he went straight to the source and ended Chaos for good.

Cloud could feel his hands shaking, his heart pounding. He knew that what he was doing was reckless. Perhaps it was even insane, but he didn't want to spend an eternity in this realm, fighting a war that could never really be won. And for the first time since he had come to this world, Cloud understood why he was fighting. He wanted a real life. He had spent too long on his own, too long immersed in battles. He had endured a broken heart for far too long. Cloud wanted to be free of all the pain that those things had caused him.

Cloud was fighting for liberty. He wanted freedom for Tidus and himself, a freedom that he and Zack had fought for and never gained. Cloud wanted to win this war fair and square, with no repercussions of destroyed cities or orphaned children. He wished to leave this place and start a life with Tidus somewhere it actually had a chance to flourish and grow, in a place where there were no more battles, or hate, or anger. He wanted peace.

"Chaos!" Cloud hollered again, straining his voice and hurting his throat in the process. Cloud gasped as the ground beneath him began to shake. He fell to his knees, his sword tumbling from his hand. He quickly reached out and grasped it again, pulling it closer to his body as the ground continued to rumble.

He closed his eyes as the world around him turned bright white. He waited. And waited. When the ground finally stopped shaking, he got to his feet and opened his eyes. His stomach flipped when he took in his surroundings. The sky above him was red. Meteors were falling all around him. The fresh forest air had disappeared, and Cloud's nose and throat were instead choked with the scent of smoke. Cloud looked straight ahead and stared at the figure sitting in the skull-covered throne just a few feet away from him, and shivered as he was met with the most vicious eyes and heinous smile he had ever seen.

A/N: I'm back! Yep, after an unexpected two-month hiatus. Sorry for such a long wait. After dealing with a death in the family, it took me a while to feel like writing again, but don't worry. I won't stop uploading until this story is done!