A/N: This update took longer than expected. Sorry. But at least I got it posted for my birthday! As always, I can never say thank you enough to all of you who read and review. Know that I do take into consideration what you tell me! I'm also indebted to mr-and-mrs-bates and a-lady-to-me who give of their time to beta my work. Also, I know Robert is a little OCC in this chapter, but I can take artistic liberties, right? Thanks again! Hugs to you all!

Anna stopped chewing her food mid-bite. What did he mean, "We need to talk?" A pit formed in Anna's stomach as she took in the face of the man she loved. John looked up at the ceiling, trying not to let the tears gathering in his eyes escape.

Anna stared at John, trying to process what his demeanor could mean. A horrible thought ran through her mind, and she felt the blood drain from her face as her hand instinctively went to her belly. "Do you know something about the baby? Did you see the doctor? Are we losing her?"

John could read the panic on Anna's face. A whole new feeling of hatred came over himself. He couldn't do this. Not at this moment. No matter if he knew he was no good for Anna, he couldn't upset her now while she was in the hospital with pregnancy complications. Not that he wanted to upset her anytime, but he knew she was only headed for heartbreak and pain if she hitched her star to his wagon. And to think just an hour or so ago he was considering asking her to change her name. He was an idiot. In so many ways.

"No, no," John quickly assured Anna. "I didn't see the doctor." He rubbed his eyes, drying the tears formed there.

"What's wrong then? Is everything okay with your mother?" Anna asked, still confused by the change in John's disposition.

"No, Mom's fine," he assured Anna, beginning to pace the room. "Oh, I don't know what's come over me. It's just been such a stressful day," he told her. It wasn't an untruth.

"What were you going to say when you said that we should talk?" Anna asked, not comfortable with John's answer.

Think John, dammit, he willed himself. "The notary. I talked to a notary. They'll stop by in the morning so you can sign over your power of attorney to me."

"And this is upsetting?" Anna asked with a small sigh, a bit relieved that everyone - at least everyone but John - seemed to be okay. "I'm glad it's happening. I'm glad we're going to get our house."

You shouldn't be, John thought, but kept the words to himself. Then as he thought about the house and how Anna had already sold her condo, he realized that if he broke off things with Anna now, she and their child would be homeless. He could feel bile rising in his throat. Maybe he'd just buy the dream home for Anna, and he'd keep his current house for him. He'd provide for her and their child, but she didn't have to be attached to him as anything other than the father of her child. He wouldn't go as far as giving up parental rights, but he'd give them space-only physically helping when she asked for it. He was never supposed to fall in love with her, anyway. He was supposed to be donating sperm. Somehow that turned into creating a baby the old-fashioned way, and good God, could anyone blame him for wanting to continue to make love with Anna once he'd had a taste of her? Who could blame him for falling in love with her? But it had to stop. He wasn't right for her.

Sensing that Anna was calming down, John simply nodded an answer to her comment. "No, it's good. Just the worries of the day have finally sunk in. I'm okay," John smiled. Anna seemed to accept his explanation and finished the last few bites on her plate. As she pushed her plate away from her, reality hit.

Vera. She bet Harriet told John about Vera. Oh, how she wished she'd asked his mother to keep that a secret. But it made sense. The pain in his eyes after talking with his mother. The brave face he put on for her.

"You know, don't you?" she asked.

"Know what?" he replied, but he couldn't hide the truth as his face paled.

"About Vera. Your mother told you, didn't she?" Anna hadn't even thought about Harriet relaying today's events. She was so caught up in making sure the baby was okay, it hadn't even crossed her mind that John could find out about Vera without her telling him.

"She did," he acknowledged, his face giving nothing else away.

"It wasn't her secret to tell," Anna told him, stoically.

"I know. She knows that, too. She thought you'd have already told me." He paused for a moment, pensive. "Why didn't you?" His face was pained as he choked out the last question.

"Because I knew the suffering it would bring you. I knew you would blame yourself for the whole situation," Anna told him. Oh, how she knew him, John thought. He was so conflicted. He'd never known anyone like her in his life. He'd never had anyone put his feelings above their own. And he knew he wasn't worthy of it.

"You're right. This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if it weren't for me." He sat down, bent over with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"No, it wouldn't have," Anna agreed. Her voice was so strong and assured that immediately snapped his head up to look at her. "If it weren't for you, none of my dreams would be coming true."

"Anna," John breathed. "I don't deserve you. And you deserve so much better."

"Yes, you do, and no I don't. How am I going to convince you of this, John Bates?" Anna asked him slightly exasperated, but she didn't seem to be distressed. She shifted on her bed and placed her hands on her belly. "If this child is taken from us," she started. John's breath hitched a bit at the prospect. "If she's taken - not now, but later. If she's kidnapped and sent to the moon, there will never be one day when she is out of my thoughts, nor one moment when I'm not praying for her welfare, even if I know I'll never see her again."

"Anna," John started to interrupt her. He wasn't sure where she was going with this, but the analogy was hitting a little too close to home as they were currently facing the possibility of losing their child. He didn't like it.

"That's how I feel about you, too, Mr. Bates," she continued. "I'll never love again the way I love you. If you're bound and determined to set me free so that I can build a life with someone else, then you're going to be disappointed. I'll die a spinster before I love again."

"Anna, you don't know that," John told her.

"Don't I? How many men have I dated since I met you, John? I wouldn't even have sex with them because they weren't you. None of them could live up to you. And now that I know what it's actually like to make love with you, do you really think I could give myself to another man? You're out of your mind."

Before John could reply, before he could tell her that her suitors only didn't compare with the fantasy she had of him, not the real him, they were interrupted by the nutrition worker entering the room to collect Anna's tray. Directly on her heels were Mary and Robert. John wasn't sure if he welcomed the interruption or longed for it.

"Anna!" Mary exclaimed, rushing to her friend's side and placing her hands on the side rail of the bed while she looked Anna up and down from head to toe. "How are you? Is the baby okay?" Anna smiled in response, putting on a brave face. Truly, she was in turmoil on in the inside, not only because of the scare with the baby but because she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to convince John that he was destined to be her soulmate.

"We're okay. The doctors say everything is fine right now, but they want to monitor me for a few days to make sure the leaking is just a complication of the amnio procedure and that it stops," Anna answered.

"Well, I hope you stay on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy," Mary said, her eyes boring into Anna's. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you or the baby while at work." Anna chuckled. It was just like Mary to make this situation about her.

"I haven't thought that far ahead, yet. For now, I'm just trying to get through the next few days," Anna said. Mary nodded her understanding.

"Well, I'm also glad to see that things seem to be going as well as they can be. You both look exhausted," Robert added looking from Anna to John. "How about I leave Mary with you, Anna, and I take John out for a bite to eat?"

"Thanks, Robert. But I couldn't leave Anna right now," John replied before Anna could.

"Mary will stay with her," Robert insisted. "Are you okay with that, Anna?" he asked, looking for approval on her face.

"Yes. Go, John. I just ate. You haven't. I'll be fine. The baby will be fine for you to take time to eat," Anna insisted. John looked at her with skeptical eyes, but the expression on her face told him she was serious.

"Ok," John acquiesced, turning to Robert. "But let's just go to the cafeteria downstairs. I don't want to be too far away." Anna gave him a small smile as Robert ushered him out the door. As soon as they were gone and the door shut, though, Anna crumbled. She began sobbing in earnest, which in turn caused Mary to panic.

"Do I need to the get the nurse? What's wrong?" Mary asked frantically, taking a step towards the door, and then back towards the bed as if she didn't know what she should do.

"It's John," Anna said, blubbering through her tears.

"Okay. Calm down. This is not good for you or the baby," Mary encouraged, pulling a chair up next to Anna's bed and trying to calm herself. She knew if she remained frenzied that it wouldn't help Anna relax. "Now tell me what's going on?"

"It's just…" Anna started, reaching for a tissue. "It's just that John doesn't think he's good enough for me and is trying to set me free."

"That's malarky," Mary quipped.

"No, it's true. It's what we were discussing when you all came in. I'll fight for him until the day I die, but I'm not sure if he's in this relationship for me or for the baby. Or maybe I should say Declan." Anna paused to blow her nose.

"Anna," Mary said, disbelievingly, "you know that's not true! John loves you!"

"He's said it. And I even believed him. But if he does, how could he tell me that he doesn't deserve me and that I could learn to love again if he let me go? How, Mary?" Anna broke down into sobs again.

Mary looked around the room, as if to find John so that she could throw her shoe at him. How could he do this to Anna? Mary had known the man all her life and knew he always thought more of others than he did himself. She also knew that his ex-wife made him feel that he was no good to anyone, especially a woman. But how he couldn't accept Anna's love was beyond her. They were perfect for each other.

Right now, Mary didn't have time to dwell on John and his idiotic behavior. She needed to calm Anna down before the distress became too much for the baby. She stood and lowered the bed rail and told Anna to scoot over. Climbing up on the mattress, she wrapped an arm around Anna's shoulders and pulled her close.

"Anna, you know John doesn't mean that," Mary told her, gently rocking her back and forth.

"I think he does," Anna mumbled into Mary's shoulder.

"No, he doesn't," Mary demanded, unsure what John was thinking but knowing that right now, Anna needed to feel secure. "What brought all this up anyway? Why would you be having this conversation while you're in the middle of a potential crisis?" Anna began sobbing harder. All she needed was a reminder that she might be losing her child and the man of her dreams. "Damn," Mary whispered. "I didn't mean it like that, but you know what I mean. The timing doesn't seem appropriate."

"Vera," Anna blubbered.

"Vera?" Mary replied with disdain. "What does she have to do with this?" Anna didn't immediately answer, giving herself some time to regain her poise. She knew Mary was right. She needed to stay as calm as she could for the sake of her baby. When she had regained her composure, she shifted a bit so that her face wasn't buried in Mary's shirt.

"I saw Vera today at the women's luncheon. We had words, about John, and then I had some pains in my belly." Anna paused a bit and took in a shuddering breath. "I'd already noticed that my underwear was wet, but I wasn't sure what it was. When John's mother saw that I was in pain, she insisted that she bring me here," Anna explained to her friend.

"As she should have. I'm glad she was with you," Mary remarked.

"Yes. I'm very thankful to her. For that. But not for telling John about the incident with Vera."

"You didn't tell John about it?" Mary asked, a bit surprised.

"No. I knew how he'd react, and I was right," Anna stated.

"Right about what?" Mary had a pretty good idea, but she knew Anna needed to talk through this.

"That he'd blame himself for me being in the hospital with pregnancy complications. Which he did. And now he thinks that he only causes me pain and that I will be better off without him."

"See, I told you he loves you," Mary added. Sure, he was showing it in an odd way, but Mary could see that he was trying to protect Anna, even if his intentions were misguided.

"He's trying to be gallant, to make a sacrifice for me, but I don't want him to," Anna proclaimed. "All I need is him."

"Have you told him this?"

"I was trying to when you and Robert arrived."

"Oh, Anna, I'm sorry we interrupted when you might have just been getting through to him," Mary told her.

"Oh, I don't know that I was making any headway, but I was attempting to."

"Do you want me to talk to him? I'd really like to go hit him between the eyes." Anna couldn't help from chuckling at Mary's response.

"No," Anna told her, smiling. "But if you want to punch him I'd be okay with that."

"What do you mean do I think you should break up with Anna? That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth, John Bates, and that's saying a lot!" Robert couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Robert you know what I mean. She can do so much better than me. All I have done is pull her into my troubles. I don't have anything to offer her. I am nothing." John couldn't quite meet Robert's eyes.

"Your love. You have your love to offer, and that's all she's ever wanted," Robert told him. He'd been around John and Anna for years. He'd seen Anna's crush on John, how when she was younger she turned into all giggles as soon as he'd walk in the room. He'd watched as she'd matured and grown out of the giggling schoolgirl phase, but Robert would still see that look of worship in her eyes when John was around. It was as if no other man had ever existed. And he'd seen the transformation in John since Joseph's wedding last summer. It was if a lightbulb had finally clicked on for his friend. But today, that light was dim. Not burned out, but dim.

"There are so many people out there who would love Anna. Someone whose ex-wife wouldn't threaten the life of her unborn child. Someone who is younger and would make a better father," John told Robert.

"And you're willing to let her go, be miserable, and watch another man raise your child? Stand by as another man makes love to Anna? All because you think another man could do it better?"

"I didn't say another man could make love to her better," John replied, his mouth curving upwards on one side. It was the first semblance of a smile that John had made since he'd left Anna's room. However, there was a bit of a metallic taste in John's mouth at the thought of Anna making love with someone else. He'd get over it, though. He had to for her sake.

"Greg claimed to love her. Do you want to see her back with Greg?" Robert asked, hoping to prove his point.

"Greg didn't love her. She can do better than him, too," John defended his position. However, the thought of Greg walking back into her life made him a bit nauseous. The thought of Greg playing daddy to his little girl actually caused his fists to ball. The action did not go unnoticed by Robert, but he didn't draw attention to it.

"What if Anna thinks she can't do better than Greg? She obviously thinks she can't do better than you, and you say you're not good enough. Will you ever think anyone is good enough for her? Good enough to be a step-father to your little girl?" John screwed his eyes shut at Robert's words. The man knew him, and he knew how to push John's buttons. He came back with the only thing he could think of.

"Because of me, Anna may not get that little girl." John's voice broke and his eyes began to fill with unshed tears. "Because I'm involved, she had to have an amniocentesis which is known to cause pregnancy complications. If the baby wasn't mine and if she wasn't doing this for Declan, she never would have gone through that." John paused a moment, looking up at the ceiling to control his tears before meeting Robert's eyes again. "If it weren't for me and the stupid decisions I've made in my life, she wouldn't have gotten into an altercation with my ex-wife, and she wouldn't be in the hospital now, fighting for the one thing she's wanted all her life. To have her own family and be a mother."

Robert leaned back against the chair and folded his arms across his chest. "Okay. Let's just say you're right. Let's just say she loses this baby, and it's all your fault. The amnio procedure started the miscarriage and the stress from Vera finished it." Pain flashed across John's face at the thought of Anna losing their baby. "Are you going to abandon her through all that?" Robert whispered with passion. "Do you think you're God? 'The Lord giveth and He taketh away?' Would you not be willing to support her through the pain and try for a family again? Maybe it won't be in time to help Declan, but for her? You'd walk away and say, 'Oh, well, I tried. It's somebody else's turn?'" John could feel both pain and ire rising up inside him, and his eyes narrowed.

"That is NOT what I'm doing," he seethed.

"Yes, it is. It's exactly what you're doing. Instead of supporting her in her time of pain, you're so engrossed in your own that you're willing to make the dumbest decision of your life. If you think marrying Vera was bad judgement, you'll never get over letting Anna go." Robert paused to let John absorb what he was telling him. When John didn't respond and just stared blankly across the room, Robert continued.

"Do you love her, John?" Robert asked, knowing he was pushing his friend. John's eyes snapped back to Robert. "Because for some untold reason she loves you, and if you think that losing this baby will be hard on Anna, losing you will break her."

"Of course I love her!" John couldn't form any other capable thoughts. So much was running through his mind.

"Then prove it. What the hell are you talking about setting her free of you? You finally have the love you've waited all your life for, and you're willing to throw it all away. You're an idiot, John Bates." John closed his eyes in defeat. He knew Robert was right. But it felt so selfish to claim Anna. "If you ask me, you should have already made an honest woman out of her."

"I've thought about it," John responded. "I thought about it just an hour or two ago. I just can't help but feel that there's nothing really in it for her. Nothing that she can't have without marriage anyway."

"Nothing but your name. Nothing but security in your relationship as you make promises in front of God and everybody and not just to her. It also entitles her to whatever is yours should something happen to you. I can continue to name reasons why, but I'm not sure it'll help," Robert told him.

John knew he made good points. Certainly he would want Anna and their child taken care of should something happen to him, but he could get that taken care of with a will. Something in him just couldn't believe that Anna would want to be his wife. After all, this whole baby thing was her idea, and she'd never mentioned marriage. He knew that she confessed to love him, but Vera had done the same once upon a time as well. He knew love didn't always last. Oh, he was sure that he'd always love Anna and no one else for the rest of his life, but Anna was younger. She hadn't lived through a tumultuous relationship like he had, and he certainly didn't want to put her through one. What if Vera was right? What if he was just bad at marriage? God, what a mess he was.

"Just think about it," Robert concluded, placing his napkin down on his plate. John nodded, mostly to conclude the conversation. But he would. He'd consider it. That was as much as he was promising anyone, including himself, but he would admit that Robert made good arguments. If he could only be sure that he wouldn't ruin Anna's life.

Mary insisted on helping John move Anna's things into the new house the next day. The notary had come to the hospital that morning, and there had been no problems with the house closing. John had come back to Anna's room last night after his dinner with Robert, and he'd found Anna and Mary laughing. Since Anna seemed to be in good spirits, he just let their previous conversation go. She didn't bring it up and neither did he. He'd stayed the night at the hospital with Anna and was there when the doctor came in the next morning. Dr. Randolph assured them that everything was going well and while Anna's leakage seemed to have slowed, it was not stopped. They wanted to keep her for at least one more night if not longer. The notary had arrived shortly after that and then John had left for the closing.

Now as John unlocked the front door of the house on Hamilton Street, Mary stood behind him in awe. "I can't believe you bought this house without telling Anna," Mary told him.

"Do you think she'll be mad?" John asked, suddenly nervous about not including Anna in the decision.

"Mad? I think she'll love it! It's a very romantic gesture, Uncle John." John chuckled in response, his back still towards Mary as he opened the door. Mary's eyebrow quirked as she considered his reaction. She had every intention on determining where John's head was concerning his relationship with Anna.

"When's the truck coming?" Mary asked as she stepped into the foyer. Soon, her quest for an answer was replaced by awe as she turned around in the entryway of the house. "Wow, John." The foyer wasn't huge, but had a cathedral ceiling with a beautiful chandelier hanging from the two-story ceiling. A staircase was located on the left side of the front door while a dining area was on the right. Straight back through the foyer was a family room which was open to the kitchen. "I see why Anna likes this place. It's massive."

"It's not that big, it's just bigger than most houses in this area. It doesn't hold a light to your parents' house," John said.

"Well, it's gigantic compared to Anna's condo," Mary countered, continuing to explore the house. On the left side of the family room was the master bedroom with an en suite bathroom and walk-in closet. To the right of the family room and kitchen was a guest bedroom and bathroom as well as a laundry area. "What's upstairs?" Mary asked. "Looks like you've got all you need on this floor."

"There's two more bedrooms, a bathroom, and a bonus room that I plan on setting up as Anna's office. It'll have plenty of room for her to spread out all of her event planning ideas," John told her.

"Well, she will still have an office at work," Mary said as she walked back towards the front of the house.

"Yes, but do you know how much work she does at home?" John countered.

"I know she does much more at home since you walked into the picture. It seems she'd rather spend time with you than at work with me," Mary told him. John wasn't sure how to take the comment. He wasn't sure if Mary was trying to point out how much that Anna liked him or how jealous she was that Anna was now spending more time with him than her.

"Regardless, I want her to have a room she can call her own to do whatever she pleases with. I'll take one of these other bedrooms and create an office for me. I don't need as much space. Just a desk and computer for writing."

Just then, the truck arrived, interrupting the tour. "Well, I never answered your question about the truck," John told Mary, "but it is here. Time to start unloading." John and Mary made their way to the driveway just as two brawny men were lifting the back gate of the moving truck. It was a smaller moving truck as it just held Anna's stuff, but it was full.

"Good afternoon," one of the men greeting John.

"Good to see you," John replied, walking towards the truck. "We're here to help so let us know what you need."

"Well," the man began, "we'll need some direction regarding where these boxes go and then we'll get the furniture out and set up."

"Alright," John agreed. "We can help with that." Shortly, the smaller boxes had been emptied into the house, many of them being stacked in the dining room, which was currently being used as a staging area. As the men began moving in the furniture, Mary took it upon herself to start unpacking Anna's office. Afterall, she knew the woman better than anyone else, especially when it came to how she liked to work. The movers had already brought up Anna's desk and bookshelves, so Mary went about opening boxes and organizing their contents.

The last box that Mary opened was full of college textbooks and Anna's notebooks. Mary smiled to herself as memories flooded her. Some of the classes she and Anna had taken together, despite the two of them being in different graduating classes. She almost laughed out loud when she remembered the "walking" class they had taken as an elective, and really, a joke. Mary had only made a B in the class, something for which Anna had given her grief for years. "How could you not get an A in 'walking?' You are so spoilt you can't even walk!" Anna would tease her. Truth was, Mary had missed a few classes while she'd been chasing boys or suffering from a late night out. But it did seem pretty ludicrous now that she didn't get an A in "walking."

Mary continued pulling books out of the boxes and lining Anna's shelves. At the bottom of the box, she found old notebooks Anna had saved. Mary rolled her eyes as she secretly envied Anna's organization skills; she couldn't tell you where any of her own college notebooks were if you held a gun to her head. And even if she did find them, she probably wouldn't be able to make heads or tails of the contents. As if to prove to herself that Anna indeed took exquisite notes, she flipped through a hospitality notebook of Anna's. She smiled as she took in Anna's drawings of place settings, complete with labels for each dish and piece of silverware. A bit further, Anna had drawn a wedding party, with each participant standing in their assigned place. She took a double-take as she looked at the descriptions. Where she was expecting to see, "bride," "groom," "maid of honor," etc., she saw names. Real names.

Underneath the bride, Anna had written, "Anna May Smith." Mary smiled as she noticed that she was chosen as Anna's maid of honor. There were two other bridesmaids, but Mary didn't readily recognize the names. "Ivy Stuart" and "Jane Moorsum." But Mary did recognize the men in the chart.

"John Bates" was listed as the groom, with "Robert Crawley" as his best man. "Joseph Molesley" and "William Mason" were listed as groomsmen. Mary's head was spinning. William had been killed in Afghanistan ten years ago after joining the Army. She hadn't thought about him in a long time. Flipping through the next few pages, Mary found several of Anna's doodles. "Mrs. John Bates." "Anna May Bates." "Anna Smith Bates." It was as if she was trying on John's name.

Just then, Mary was jogged from her thoughts as she heard John and the movers climbing the stairs. "You can put those books in this room," she heard John say. "I'll take that as my office. But put the furniture in the other room as I'll be using that as my bedroom." As soon as she heard the movers' retreating steps, Mary made her way out of the bonus room to confront John about his directions.

"Are you seriously moving in with this woman, and you're going to have separate bedrooms?" Mary asked him point blank. John turned on his heel to face her, and his cheeks were crimson. Truth be told, he had been thinking about not moving in with her at all, but in the end he'd decided he would be a bigger help with the baby if he at least resided under the same roof as the two of them. But he didn't want to tell Mary any of that.

"I, uh...um," John sputtered. Mary could tell her question had caught him off guard. "I didn't know if she'd want to share a room."

"How dense are you? She's carrying your child. You claim she's your girlfriend." A flash of something crossed John's features. Mary couldn't quite tell what it was. Pain?

"Well, you know Anna," John defended himself. "She's got a closet full of clothes and shoes. There might not be enough room for any of my things."

"Is that what you're going with?" Mary asked, shifting her weight to one foot. "Or is it really that you're trying to make it easier for when you leave?" John's eyebrows shot up at Mary's accusation.

"I know you're thinking about it, John, so don't bother lying to me," she continued. "Anna told me everything when you and Dad went to dinner. All about how you don't think you deserve her and how she could learn to love someone else if you excused yourself from her life."

"I don't, and she can," John said defiantly.

"The first may be true because anyone willing to throw that lady's love away is a first class idiot, and we all know Anna rates better than that. But the second part-I don't think so." Mary was still holding Anna's hospitality class notebook in her hands. She thrust it against John's chest, pushing just hard enough for him to take a step back. "Fix your relationship with Anna, or I'll fix you." With that Mary made her way down the steps and out the door. Organizing Anna's home office would have to wait; she needed to make her point.

John sat down in the chair in what was to be his home office. He turned the notebook over a couple of times, trying to determine its significance. Flipping open the cover, he saw in Anna's handwriting, "Introduction to Hospitality. Spring 2000."

Maybe Mary hadn't meant anything by shoving this book at him. Maybe it was that this was the book she had in her hand at the time, and the extra jab to his chest was only to make her point. Regardless, John couldn't stop his fingers from flipping through the pages. A smile curled at lips as he took in Anna's handwriting, a bit neater and more round than her current script; it had become edgier as she aged. Hell, she's become more edgy as she's aged, John thought. Continuing to glance through the notes, he took a double take when he saw his name. It was written much smaller than the rest of the notes, and was nearly hidden in a corner. But it was clear that "John Bates" was scribbled there. As John turned pages, he found his name in various forms - "John," "Mr. Bates," "JB" - written throughout her notes. Was she really daydreaming of him during class all those years ago?

And then he found the page he was certain Mary had wanted him to see. It was the sketch of a wedding party, but it was as if Anna had been planning her own. To him. It seemed quite elaborate for just a crush. Maybe it should make him feel violated or creepy, but it didn't. Perhaps it was the fact that he hadn't been murdered in his sleep that led him to believe Anna wasn't a stalker. In fact, he was fairly certain she'd be quite embarrassed to know he was seeing this old notebook. He looked over her sketch again. Maybe this did mean that he was wrong and everyone else was right-that Anna's feelings for him had developed a long time ago and had been growing for years. Maybe she really did want to be his wife, and maybe it wasn't just because he was a convenient male to fill the family void she'd been experiencing for years.

John turned a few more pages and saw more names. Names he didn't recognize. Names like "Johnna Ann Bates," "Jacqueline Anne Bates," and "Ellie JoAnna Bates." Then there was "John ? Bates, Jr." and "Frederick John Bates." John's eyebrows knit together as he took in the names, not sure what they meant or who they were. Then he saw it. Where Anna had practiced signing her name. Their name. "Mrs. John Bates." "Anna May Bates." "John and Anna Bates." "John, Anna, Ellie, and Jack Bates." Those were baby names. Just as it all was sinking in, a flicker of light from the hall caught his attention.

"Ellie and Fred were her parents' names." John's head raised to meet Mary's gaze as she leaned on the doorjamb. He'd been so engrossed in Anna's notebook he hadn't heard her come back in the house.

"I guess this means she didn't know my middle name," John said, pointing to the question marks in John, Jr's name. Mary chuckled.

"I don't think she knows your middle name, still. I know I don't," Mary answered him.

"And for good reason. It's a horrible name."

"So you're not going to share?" Mary asked him.

"No."

"Then there's no hope for a John, Jr?" Mary teased him.

"The baby is a girl, so thankfully, we do not have to worry about it."

"Well," Mary stated, matter a factly. "I didn't come back because I've forgiven you." John chuckled.

"I'm not surprised by that," he admitted.

"I came back to stay with the movers while you go see Anna. You've got some work to do." John nodded, knowing Mary was right.

"I'm not sure I can do this," John told her. "I'm not sure that I should."

"Well, Anna is. And if you can't trust yourself, surely you can trust her."

Tucking the notebook under his arm, John stood and walked past Mary. He paused for a moment, turning to look back at his friend's daughter. "I just hope she's got enough faith for both of us, because I feel like I'm throwing her into the lion's den."

"She's already there, John. It's up to you to save her."