Chapter 25: Dark Waters
"Charles..." Her voice is shaky, and she tries to take a step closer to him, immediately changing her mind when he shoots her a warning look, eyes dark with rage.
"Don't." He runs a hand through his hair, shaking slightly with barely contained anger before looking at her. The love and affection from just a few minutes ago was completely gone. Now there was just hate, and a coldness that broke her heart into a million pieces.
This hurts.
It hurts like hell.
"Get out."
"I-"
"Get the fuck out! Or I swear I'm gonna kill you."
"Please... Just... Things changed."
He lets out a brief, hollow laugh.
"Eleanor. Nothing changed. Now get out. I don't ever wanna see your face again. If you seek me out, I don't know what I'm capable of."
She shakes her head, despair spreading inside her.
Just as he was about to speak again, his phone rings and he answers the call, eyes not leaving hers.
"What, Jack?"
"Chrales- is she in there? Just... Do you remember too?"
"Yeah."
"Anne's so angry, she's heading back there with the motorcycle right now. She left me behind. If Eleanor is there, just... Do something. If Anne sees her, she'll kill her. It will be a disaster for us."
"Got it." He says, ending the call and throwing his phone to the couch.
"Please, Charles... I can't lose you again." Her voice is quiet, breaking slightly, her blue-green eyes glinting with unshed tears.
And it breaks his heart.
But he can't deal with this again.
"You don't need me! Just run back to your precious governor, wasn't that the solution to all your problems three centuries ago?"
She shakes her head furiously, tears threatening to run down her face.
"No. It wasn't." Her voice sounds so weak and he clenches his jaw, using an extreme amount of willpower to resist the temptation of wrapping his arms around her and comforting her.
Instead, he focuses on his anger.
"Get out of my sight, Eleanor. Right now. Or you're gonna get hurt."
"I can't-"
"Run back to your beloved governor! The more I look at you, the more I want to kill you. And even if I'm holding back, Anne will be here any minute. She'll be much more inclined to take your life in the most painful way possible, and believe me, I won't fucking stop her!"
He wasn't lying.
Taking a shuddering breath, she fights against the tears, putting on a emotionless mask and raising her chin, anger rising in her chest.
"Fine then. I'll go back to 'my precious governor', if that's what you want. Thank God I have him!" She says with a smirk, wanting to hurt him. Heading to the door, she glances back at the criminal, seeing him clenching his jaw, eyes filled with rage.
"Goodbye, Charles." Her voice is quiet, breaking slightly as she walks out the door, closing it behind her.
She takes a shuddering breath, a choked sob leaving her lips.
Glass smashes against the other side of the door as he throws something at it, causing her to jump slightly and finally leave the hideout, getting inside her car and driving away.
The tears she's holding back are beginning to win, and her phone ringing on the passenger seat catches her attention.
More than 10 missed calls from Mr. Scott.
Another sob leaves her when she realizes it. He remembers.
Changing her route, she drives in the direction of his neighborhood.
Still fighting against the tears, she gets out of the car and runs inside his house, finding him and his daughter hugging, both clearly emotional.
He lets go of Madi when he sees the state she's in, offering her a smile and opening his arms, taking a step forward.
She sobs, running straight into his arms and he hugs her tightly, one hand cradling the back of her head protectively.
"Thank God you're safe. You've been seeing... him, haven't you?"
She nods softly, and the tears finally stream down her face as she cries, sobbing and shaking in his arms.
"It's okay. It's going to be okay."
"He hates me." She manages to say in a quiet voice. "I regret it... I regret everything!"
"I know. I know."
"What have I done?"
She feels Madi's hands come to her shoulders before the girl joins them, one of her father's arms coming around her as she hugs him and Eleanor.
"Everything will be just fine, Eleanor. You'll see."
The blonde scoffs, pulling away from them and wiping some of the tears away.
"No. No, it won't. Charles..." Her voice breaks and she covers her eyes with trembling hands, unable to keep talking, shaking her head as more tears start to flow.
So much for trying to look strong.
Scott sighs, his heart breaking for her.
"It will take some time..."
"No, he... He'll never forgive me."
"It's better this way. Listen, you'll... Find someone else."
She lifts her head, swallowing her emotions.
"Rogers. I still have him." The blonde says in a quiet voice, forcing a smile as Scott scowls, Madi shaking her head with a worried look.
"He... I need to know if he remembers too. I need to go to him..." She turns to walk back outside, but Scott reaches for her, grabbing her wrist and stopping her in her tracks. She looks back at him over her shoulder.
"Eleanor. Don't." there's a pleading look in his eyes and her heart clenches as she pulls her wrist free from his grasp just like Charles had taught her, eyes filled with sadness.
"I'm sorry." Is all she whispers before she runs outside, ignoring Scott and Madi's calls of her name as she gets in her car and drives off, even more tears running down her face.
"Woodes! Woodes..." Her voice is desperate as she bursts into his office, not even bothering with trying to hold her tears back anymore.
"Eleanor? What happened?" He frowns, sharing a brief look with the older redhead sitting on the chair in front of his desk before the blonde runs to him, throwing her arms around his neck and hiding her face in his shoulder. He's surprised, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her shaking form.
"Leave us, Mrs. Hudson."
The private investigator nods with a slight frown, leaving the office and closing the door behind her.
"I'm sorry I pushed you away, I... remember everything now. I'm so sorry..." Eleanor says in a shaky voice and he frowns, pulling away to look at her tear stained face, holding her chin.
She takes a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves before leaning forward, their lips meeting, and he wonders if he's dreaming for a moment before responding, pulling her closer to him while they kissed.
He soon has her against his desk and she hops up on it, trying hard to ignore how wrong this feels.
But when his hands move under her shirt to feel her skin, she pulls away to look him in the eyes with a scowl on her face.
"Do you..."
He raises an eyebrow in question.
"Do I what? Eleanor, what brought this on? Not that I'm complaining, but..."
A sob leaves her lips.
He doesn't remember.
More tears flow as she pushes him away, jumping down from his desk and running out of the office while he called her name.
As she gets into her car and drives off, her body shakes and she can't stop sobbing.
Her father left her alone so many times when she was a child, to deal with her fears on her own. But that was nothing compared to this.
Eleanor has never felt so alone, lost and scared in her life.
"Where the fuck is the cunt?" Anne screams angrily as she throws the front door open, knife in her hand, a murderous look on her face.
"She left." Charles answers, staring out the window.
"Come on, let's get the motorcycle and go after her!" The redhead frowns when he makes no move to follow her. "Charles!"
"I let her go."
She scoffs incredulously.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."
"Go after her if you want. Do whatever you want with her. But I won't be part of it."
She shakes her head, heading out the door.
As he hears her starting the motorcycle downstairs, his heart speeds up.
No.
He rushes down to the garage area.
"Anne!" His voice is urgent, rough, and she looks at her approaching leader over her shoulder, realizing he would try to stop her.
Her eyes narrow and she moves to speed out of the garage.
But he's faster.
She soon finds herself on the ground, the loud sound of the motorcycle falling and hitting the floor catching her by surprise.
"Are you fucking crazy?" She yells at him as he keeps her pinned to the ground, restraining her arms.
"You won't lay a finger on her. It's an order!"
"You're not my captain anymore!"
"No, but I'm still the leader."
"I won't give up on killing the cunt just because you're still in love with her!"
"If you kill her, there will be consequences. Her father will be pissed, Rogers will be pissed and he won't stop before he finds us! Do you want that for you, for Jack?"
She scoffs.
"As if that's the reason you stopped me. Even after everything she did, you still love her!"
"And what if I do? I ended things between us, for good. So it doesn't matter." He says, letting go of her arms and moving to get up, leaning against a column with a sigh.
Anne watches him, still on the floor, and her eyes soften a bit.
Now that the initial adrenaline and anger are passing, she finally stops to think about their newly recovered memories.
It's already giving her a headache, the memories of this life conflicting with the ones from the previous.
And she can see he feels the same.
He sighs, offering her his hand and she eyes it for a moment before accepting, letting him pull her to her feet.
The hug they share afterwards is filled with everything they can't put into words, two broken souls reuniting.
"You stood by us when no one else would. Thank you. It wasn't fair, what happened to you."
He shakes his head, pulling away from her and moving to the fallen motorcycle to check for any damage.
As he lifts it from the ground, a breathless Jack appears at the door of the garage, eyes wide, clearly preparing himself for the worst.
He looks around the place and sighs in relief.
"No dead body. That's a good sign."
Charles scoffs and Anne rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips.
"Come here, you idiot." She says, starting to walk towards him.
Her partner smiles warmly, meeting her halfway and wrapping his arms around her.
Charles watches from the motorcycle while they share a brief kiss. His heart clenches as Eleanor comes to his mind.
Did he do the right thing?
"Yes, Charles. You did the right thing." He looks up at Jack in surprise as his accomplice watches him with a knowing look in his eyes.
"She would have destroyed you eventually. Again. You know that."
He scoffs.
"We should move away from here. Put some distance between the two of you. Just to be safe. And you know that now she will tell Rogers about us. We need to run while we still have the time." He says and Anne nods in agreement.
Their leader shakes his head.
"She won't say a thing."
Jack sighs. "Don't lie to yourself. Not again. Please."
"She won't, Jack. I know her. Better than anyone. I saw it in her eyes. She won't tell him. Trust me."
Jack lets go of Anne and walks to stand in front of their leader, hesitating for a moment before moving to hug him.
Charles accepts the hug, awkwardly, rolling his eyes at the soft chuckle that leaves Anne's lips.
"Well, look at this... The three of us wreaking havoc together again, after all these years. Must be some sort of curse to be stuck with you two, time after time." He says with a smirk, already knowing what their answer would be.
"Fuck you, Jack." Charles and Anne say in perfect unison.
A tear falls to her lap while Eleanor stares down at the blade in her shaking hands.
Her head hurts with the newly recovered memories, but it's nothing compared to the pain in her heart.
After coming back home, she stopped by her father's office, part of her hoping he had recovered his memories too.
But he merely glanced up at her while talking to someone on the phone, his expression blank as usual.
Now here she was, sitting in bed with the blade in her hands.
The blade she hadn't even thought about touching in months, ever since Charles had found her again.
But now...
She takes a shuddering breath, moving the blade to her exposed thighs, wanting to take her anger out on herself. This was all her fault anyway.
But just as she was about to cut, the door to her room opens and she looks up.
Max.
Her friend stares at her from the door for a moment, her eyes filled with emotion.
"You... You remember too?" The blonde asks, her voice still shaky from all the crying.
"Oh, Eleanor." The other woman says, quickly walking over to her and taking the blade from her hands, throwing it to the floor before sitting down beside Eleanor and wrapping her into a hug.
"I was so worried about you. Thank God you're okay. I was scared, thinking Vane might have hurt you-"
"I kissed Rogers." She interrupts and her friend pulls away, an incredulous look in her eyes.
"You did what?! Have you not learned anything, Eleanor?"
"I just... Charles hates me..."
"Well, you have to admit he has a good reason."
"I know, but... It just hurts." She says, trying not to cry.
"I was beginning to... fall in love with him again, and-" A scoff from Max interrupts her. "What?"
"Oh please. You never stopped loving him. Even after everything that happened. You loved him until the moment of your death. Well, even after that, it seems."
"But now he hates me. I just can't, Max. I need to cling to what i have. My father. The Trading Company." She takes a deep breath. "Rogers."
"Fine. Go ahead." Max says, getting up from the bed and shaking her head. "Marry Rogers. Earn your father's fake love. And just spend your life watching pathetically while he and your husband run the Company." Anger is growing in Max's eyes as she speaks, each sentence sending dread and regret and pain through Eleanor. "Get pregnant! Have Rogers' babies. Stay home taking care of them and knitting while he manages the business that should be yours. Try pretending to be that docile housewife again, Eleanor. See where it will get you! Go ahead and lie to yourself. Spend the rest of your life sad and miserable, 'loving' a person you don't know and who doesn't know you, thinking of what could have been. Go ahead and destroy yourself again!"
The blonde sighs as silence reigns in the room again, looking down at her lap.
"Are you done?" She finally asks, and Max looks over at her, exhaling deeply.
"I know I'm being a little too harsh with you, but that's just because..." The woman heads over to the bed again, taking her friend's hands in hers. "...I love you. You are my friend, and I care about you. Please don't do this to yourself, Eleanor. I don't think I can watch you destroy yourself again. Please... Just don't."
The blonde sighs heavily, hiding her face in her hands. "I don't know if I'm sad or relieved that Rogers doesn't remember."
Max scoffs, sitting down beside her again. "Well, I am definitely relieved." A smile tugs at Eleanor's lips for a second. "So, I take it from your state, that you have already seen Vane after the memories came back?"
She nods. "I was with him when it happened. He..." She trails off, tears streaming down her face again. Max moves a reassuring hand to her shoulder.
"That bad, huh?"
"It was awful... He told me to run back to 'my precious governor', and I wanted to hurt him. I said I would do just that, and that I was glad I had Rogers."
Max shakes her head with an exasperated sigh.
"God, will you ever learn?! Why do you two need to be so fucking stubborn?"
"It doesn't matter. It's over, we're... over."
"If you two are finished, then I'm straight."
Eleanor shakes her head. "I mean it, Max. There's no going back. There's no way we'll be able to... make amends. And I don't want anything to do with him, anyway."
"Oh, I see. Is that why you can't stop crying, then? Why you were about to cut yourself when I arrived?"
The blonde sighs, hating herself for showing so much weakness.
"Whatever you do, please don't try saying you don't love Vane anymore. It's pathetic, really."
Eleanor frowns at her words, ready to protest, but her friend cuts her off.
"No, you listen to me. I have something to tell you. Something from long ago. Will you let me speak?"
Curiosity sparks inside her and she nods, keeping Max's gaze. The woman takes a deep breath.
"Okay... You see, back then... Three centuries ago, when you and I were, uh... 'together', you..."
"Just say it, Max." She snaps, impatient, and the other woman rolls her eyes.
"It was painfully obvious how much you still needed Vane, how much you loved him."
The blonde scoffs. "What the fuck do you mean?"
"Sometimes when we were together, I would wake up in the middle of the night to you tossing and turning in bed beside me, calling out his name repeatedly. You sounded so desperate it hurt. And sometimes you even cried. It broke my heart to see it." She finally blurts out the words, and Eleanor scowls, letting this new information sink in.
They sit there as minutes drag by, Max watching as Eleanor deals with the internal conflict caused by her revelation.
"Is this... Are you serious?" The blonde asks in a quiet voice, finally looking up to meet her friend's eyes.
"Why would I lie?"
"Why didn't you tell me back then? Why didn't you tell me that I called out for Vane in my sleep?"
The other woman sighs, shrugging. "Because I knew I couldn't. If I told you back then, you would have just shut me out. And I didn't want that."
The blonde takes a shuddering breath, looking down at her fingers.
"Can I give you some advice?" Max asks and she nods softly, apparently too exhausted to argue. "You already have a lot to handle. It will be rough for all of us, having to deal with all the conflicting memories. And you also have the feelings of guilt, the regret from your previous life. And I know that you regret what you did to Vane, so don't even bother trying to convince me otherwise. But what I'm saying is; this is going to be really, really hard on you already. It will be hard for all of us, but you are the one who will suffer the most. So don't make it even worse by trying to fight and convince yourself that you don't love Vane anymore. This will only make you even more exhausted. Can you at least think about what I just said?"
She nods, trying really hard to keep her strong and cold façade. But as she sees the tender look on her friend's face, letting her know she's seeing right through her, Eleanor breaks.
Tears flow freely from her eyes as she throws herself in Max's arms, letting the other woman comfort her as she cried, shaking violently.
"I love him... I never stopped loving him, and now I lost him, again! It's all my fault, what have I done, Max? Why?"
"It's going to be okay, my dear. It's going to be just fine, you'll be okay... He just needs some time. He can't stay away from you for too long, we both know that."
"There's just too much darkness... Betrayals, it's too heavy... There's no going back. Oh God, the things I said to him the last time we talked. I called him an animal!" She shakes her head violently; regret spreading inside her like fire as she cried even harder.
"It breaks my heart to see you like this, Eleanor." Her friend says, caressing her hair. "I'm not saying you deserve this... But you made some wrong choices, and now you're finally paying for them. But listen to me, this pain won't last forever. I know it's hard, but you need to think about a brighter future." She says, her arms still around the crying blonde. "And also... We won't give up. I'll help you with Vane, alright? We'll go to the Demeter, we'll make sure he sees you again and again. He can't do anything to you in front of so many people. He won't be able to resist you for too long. You two are going to work things out, alright? I promise."
Her words do little to comfort Eleanor. She has no hope that Charles will forgive her.
It's impossible.
And the pain only gets worse when another thought suddenly comes to her mind.
"My mother..." She lets out a sob. "I didn't even get the chance to spend time with her in this life! I miss her so fucking much..."
Max squeezes her eyes shut as she tries to think of something to comfort the blonde. She knew this would come sooner or later.
Eleanor cries in Max's arms for almost an hour before finally calming down a little and pulling away, getting up from the bed and heading to the balcony's door, watching the sunset through the glass window.
"You know, maybe..." She begins to speak in a barely audible voice, touching the glass with her fingertips. "Maybe it's a good thing my mother's not here. She can't see how bad I screwed up."
Max sighs, getting up too and heading to stand just beside Eleanor. "I think she would have been proud. Really proud. To see the strong woman you've become."
As they watch the sunset in silence, a lone tear runs down Eleanor's face.
Charles eyes the blonde strand of hair in his hands. He found it on his pillow a few minutes ago, and it hurt.
It hurt like hell.
He misses her terribly already, and the criminal hates himself for it, but he's so worried about her.
He can't forget how sad and vulnerable she looked after their memories were recovered. It broke his heart.
And there was something else haunting him.
He thinks he saw regret in her eyes.
Pure, true regret.
Could it be? Was it even possible?
If it's true, then she's probably suffering like hell right now.
"Serves you right." He says in a quiet voice, trying to convince himself he actually means it.
She's probably back in Rogers' arms already. He shouldn't even be thinking about that traitorous witch.
Noise from outside the room reaches his ears and he frowns, getting up from his bed and heading for the door.
He's greeted with the sight of Anne preparing her knifes, dressed in black from head to toe.
And he's instantly alarmed.
"Where do you think you're going, Anne?"
She jumps slightly at the sound of his voice, turning around to face him with a scowl.
"I'm going to do what you should have already done a long time ago."
He clenches his jaw, making his way to her with heavy, purposeful steps, a menacing look in his eyes.
"You will not lay a finger on Eleanor!"
The redhead doesn't back down, keeping his gaze. "Yes, I will. I will kill her before she can fuck us over again. Before she can be your end again. You'll thank me one day." She turns her back to him, heading to the front door, and that instantly snaps him into action.
Quickly reaching her, Charles wraps his arm tightly around her neck in a choke hold.
As he applied more pressure using his biceps and forearms, she tried to fight him, but it was useless. In seconds, the redhead starts to stop resisting, and he waits until she goes completely limp, not letting her fall to the floor.
The criminal lifts her in his arms and carries her over to the couch, laying her unconscious body on it just as a confused Jack opens the curtain of the room.
"Charles? What the hell?" He asks, rushing to the couch to check up on Anne.
"She'll be fine. Don't worry." The trio's leader says, getting his leather jacket.
"Why did you do this? Where are you going? It's the middle of the night!"
"She was going to kill Eleanor. It would be a disaster for us, Jack. When she wakes up, make sure you keep her in here. But in case you fail, I'm heading over to the Guthrie mansion. I'll watch Eleanor's balcony during the nights from now on to make sure Anne won't do anything stupid."
Jack scoffs, still crouching in front of the couch, brushing some of the red hair away from Anne's face. "I don't believe for a second that your only reason for watching over Eleanor is to avoid trouble for us. So don't even bother lying to me."
Charles narrows his eyes at him. "Question me again, Jack."
His accomplice merely sighs, shaking his head and looking at his unconscious partner again.
"Good." Charles says, heading out the front door just as Anne begins to regain her consciousness.
She hates herself for it.
She really, really does.
But it's the only way she found to give herself some sort of comfort.
Eleanor stares at her reflection on the full length mirror, the oversized shirt reaching to her mid thighs.
It's Charles' shirt.
He had left it here one night.
Her heart clenches as she remembers. It was after a night he hadn't been able to come over. She had been plagued by nightmares, of course, and almost had a panic attack.
He was worried when she told him that, the following night.
So he left his shirt with her, hoping it would be enough to make her feel better.
"Keep it. Maybe it will help keep the nightmares at bay when I'm not here."
She heads over to the bed, opening the drawer of her bedside table to retrieve the two small pieces of paper she keeps in there.
His notes. From after he returned her knife.
And from after the first night he spent here in her room.
"Wouldn't want to leave you unable to defend yourself. But really, learn how to use this thing.
-C"
"Can't take the risk of staying after sunrise. See you around, Miss Guthrie."
She brushes her fingers over his calligraphy softly, closing her eyes as a tear rolls down her cheek.
Fuck, she longs for his voice.
His hands on her body.
Just to think that she will never feel his touch again...
Eleanor clutches the notes to her chest, laying down in bed and curling herself into a ball while starting to cry again.
"What I'd do to have you here..." She whispers to the darkness of her room, her eyes glued to the balcony's glass door.
Hoping he would appear there at any moment, with that smug smirk of his, teasing her about something before coming over to the bed and kissing her until she was breathless.
But no matter how hard she wishes, there's no sign of him.
Of course not. She knows it's impossible.
But it still hurts.
Where's the shooting star when I need it?
A choked sob leaves her lips when she thinks about their moments under the stars, during that perfect weekend.
That small piece of paradise feels so distant now. Like a dream.
Just to think she will never lay her head on his chest again, never fall asleep to the sound of his breathing while feeling his hand drawing patterns on her naked back... It kills her.
It feels like hell, laying here without the soothing sound of his heartbeat to lull her to sleep.
Not even trying to fight against her tears anymore, Eleanor holds some of the shirt's fabric in her hand, bringing it up to her face and closing her eyes while inhaling deeply.
It still has his scent.
She prays it will never go away, because in this moment, the blonde feels as if it's the only thing keeping her sane.
Exhaustion soon begins to take her over as the result of today's events.
So Eleanor cries herself to a nightmare filled sleep, completely unaware of the long haired criminal watching her balcony closely from the shadows outside.
Notes:
This was painful to write. And let me reassure everyone, this will NOT turn into a Rogers/Eleanor story. Not a chance. I hate them together, but unfortunately, some… stuff will happen between them. It will be brief though, so yeah… Sorry? I will make up for it, promise! ;)
And in response to albagarram: Your review made my day! I'm so glad I managed to win you over and get you to like Vane/Eleanor! Thank you for letting me know that. And I hope you'll like what's to come, this story is far from over ;)
Next chapter teaser:
"Alright. Who are we looking for?"
The criminal blows out the smoke before glancing at her, his eyes filled with determination. "Blackbeard."