Chapter Twenty-Four
Saturday Morning Cartoons!
Papyrus stayed another night at the asylum, waiting for Sans to wake up. Black Widow and her group left once they remembered they had to meet up with the other followers but before leaving they thanked him for his help. "You're a dick, but you helped us out a lot, we owe you one Skelly..."
"Try to remember where you're going and what you're doing. If you really want to repay me, find out what's causing this memory loss nonsense."
"I hear ya'. Maybe I'll get a house close to yours..."
I hope you like dogs then, nyeh heh heh...
"That sounds great! I look forward to seeing you again!" said Papyrus grinning. He struggled to contain his laughter as he noticed the woman's immediate suspicion.
"C'mon Dollface, let's take the air and meet up with the gang. We gotta get over there and spill the rumble before they start lookin' for us."
"Goodbye mister Papyrus!" said World, waving.
"Mister Papyrus?"
This woman's an adult...
Papyrus waved back and shut the door behind them. "You know, I'm surprised you're still here," he said turning to the group. Chara, Undyne, Flowey, and Bad Seed had stayed the night as well.
"I might need your help rescuing Bloodthirsty-"
"And Smiley still needs to change me back."
"That question was aimed at the human and the little one."
Frisk took over having finally woken up. "I need to find my dog, then I'll set out to find a way to free Horror."
"OH MY GOSH! I FORGOT ABOUT CLIFFORD!" yelled Flowey wide-eyed.
"You can't take care of a dog and travel at the same time Human."
"I LEFT MY POOR BABY ALL ALONE IN A FONT-INFESTED DUMP!"
"I can take care of him just fine..."
"WE HAVE TO RESCUE MY SNOOKUMS!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP FLOWEY! Human I don't think you understand how difficult it's going to be to keep both you and the dog fed and watered, it may be best to leave the creature with Undyne-"
"To hell with that, I ain't taking care of a dog!"
"It's a puppy actually..."
"Does Cwiford gots no skin?"
Flowey turned to Bad Seed and smiled, doing a little wiggling dance. "That's right! He eats babies to-how did you know he didn't have skin?"
Bad Seed pointed out the window. "There be a big doggy over there with no skins. Dat's why I no leave." Bad Seed frowned at the bad doggie outside. The stink dog had eaten lots of skeleton's like her, she had seen it during the night. She wanted to search for the monster's home, but she couldn't while the doggie was out there waiting to gobble her up.
Flowey looked out the window to see a giant skinned dog, as big as the asylum, scratching behind his ears. Throwing open the window with his vines, he shouted, "CLIFFORD! COME TO DADDY CLIFFORD!"
"What are you yelling about?!" asked Papyrus glowering at his friend. Sans had now had plenty of sleep, but he still wasn't awake yet. Would it kill Flowey to have some common courtesy?
"*GRRRRAAARRRRRRUUUFFF!* *GRRRAAARRUUUFF*! *RUFF!* *RUFF!*" The humongous dog ran towards Flowey's voice, kicking up dirt and trees as he went.
"Oh my god..."
"THAT'S MY DOG!" exclaimed Frisk happily.
What the hell happened to it?!
I don't know but he's alive! Isn't that GREAT?!
NO! He's gonna freaking KILL us!
"Flowey...what the hell is that?" asked Papyrus wearing a blank expression.
"That's Clifford the big skinned dog! He's my bay-beeeee-"
"He's a gruesome abomination-"
CRASH!
The glass of the window shattered as Clifford pressed his nose to it, happy to see the person that had saved him from the scary blue creature with claws.
"WHOSE A GOOD BOY? WHOSE A GOOD PUPPY?"
Clifford excitedly pummeled the ground with his front paws, wanting to play.
"DID YOU MISS DADDY? I BET YOU DID! I BET YOU DID! YOU WANNA PLAY? YOU WANNA PLAY WITH PAPA FLOWEY?"
The giant dog barked in response and Papyrus swore he was smiling.
Good lord! I do hope you don't plan on bringing this beast to the Underground Flowey...
Papyrus hadn't slept that night, he had stayed awake and watched the forest for a little while before sitting on the couch and saying a prayer; the woods had been overrun with Fonts, so many that the mist almost couldn't be seen due to the amount of magic being thrown about and the running around the skeletons were doing. Papyrus hadn't seen the dog in the mist, possibly because of the creatures speed or the chaos below, but he could hear him...him and the Fonts. An orchestra of barks and screams rose and fell in volume during the night like a song and Papyrus couldn't help but wonder if it sounded that way because he was mad, or because of coincidence.
Did the war sound like that?
Did the gunshots, screams, roars, and the clashing of swords weave together to form music?
Papyrus still couldn't understand why ALL the Fonts were Horrors. He knew a Horror when he saw one too. They not only had an aura that he could feel, but a look in their eyes that he could see that only belonged to people desensitized enough to be murderous. He had seen it in the human before being killed as well.
Why?
Why were there so many?
Horrors were usually created through murder or were made based on a person's personality in life, but for that many Horrors to be out running about at the same time was insane...
Black Widow had told him in the morning that Bloodthirsty had awakened the bodies they had dug up at the cemetery, but although that explained the number of skeletons running around it DIDN'T explain why they were all Horror Fonts and when asked, she hadn't an answer for him.
Where are all the Normal Fonts?
Was everyone in that cemetery a murder victim, because I highly doubt it...unless there was an epidemic in town.
Could that epidemic still BE here?! Is one of the symptoms before death memory loss?!
It worried the Lying Font, but now that it was morning and he looked outside, it was clear that the Horrors were gone and they could move to a safer location and visit Alphys for checkups...assuming they could get past the slobbering atrocity in their way.
For this creature to be alive and the Horrors to be gone...it would have to be incredibly strong and fast.
Did this thing EAT them all?!
How do I beat a creature that can withstand the variety and vast number of attacks from Horrors who are stronger than me?
Clifford barked happily as Flowey continued to praise him and pet him with an extended vine, careful to retract the thorns.
Can this beast be tamed?
If it could, it would be exactly what he needed to keep the Underground safe from Fonts.
But it's strange...
This dog shouldn't be interested in Flowey when he can see me. Why isn't he barking or growling at me, trying to get at me?
Suddenly without warning Flower picked up Bad Seed with a vine and held her up. "SEE THE BABY? YOU WANNA GET THE BABY?"
"NOOOOOO! DON'T GET DA' BABY!" screamed Bad Seed kicking her feet.
"Flowey, knock it off-"
"GET THE BABYYY!" Flowey tossed the baby bones as far as he could.
"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"WHAT THE FUCK FLOWEY?!" cried Undyne in horror.
CHOMP!
Clifford caught Bad Seed in mid-air, swallowing her whole.
"GOOD BOY CLIFFORD! WHOSE A GOOD BOY? WHOSE A GOOD BOY? WHOSE DADDY'S UNSTOPPABLE LITTLE DEATH MACHINE?"
No way...no way in hell Flowey would do that if he had trouble handling a toddler being dropped out a window.
Something's wrong here.
"woah."
"SANS!" Papyrus turned around and seeing his brother, ran and gave him a hug as the comedian stood staring out the window.
"Sans? Brother are you alright?"
Sans didn't answer.
Flowey just fed our baby sister to that dog...
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
"Br-Brother...?" Papyrus let go of Sans and took a step back.
What is this?!
...
...
Oh god he's toon.
"that was AWESOME! can i try?"
Ah ah.
Papyrus bolted from the room.
"Papyrus?!"
"Sure Smiley! Clifford likes bones AND meat!"
Sans extended a hand and looking down, Frisk noticed their heart had turned blue...and that they were in the air.
"HEY! PUT ME DOWN YOU MANIAC! I'M NOT CHARA, I'M FRISK!"
"it's fine kid! you can reload remember?"
"SO?! WHAT WOULD YOUR BROTHER THINK IF YOU KILLED AN INNOCENT PERSON?!"
Sans smiled. "only god will judge me."
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"Frisk screamed as they were sent sailing into the air at a blinding speed.
Well...at least we saved this morning after those Fonts left.
THIS IS BULLSHIT!
CHOMP!
"heh hey! good boy clifford! nice catch!" said Sans clapping. The dog barked in response, for some reason he seemed friendly towards Sans...
"That's my little killer! Naturally talented, like yours truly," said Flowey proudly, putting a leaf to his chest.
"we should totally take him to a dog show. they gotta have one on the surface right, if they have dogs?"
"Yeah! Let's make Clifford FAMOUS!"
Sans grabbed Flowey and jumped out the window where he was promptly eaten by Clifford. The dog was confused however, when he noticed there was nothing for him to swallow.
"such a hungry guy! reminds me of me, HA HA HA HA!" Sans took a giant saddle out of his pocket equipped with a armchair and zoomed around Clifford in a blue blur, strapping it in place.
Wowie, I thought we were goners for a minute there!
I forgot Smiley could teleport!
"ONWARD OUR LOYAL STALLION! TO THE DOG SHOW!" cried Sans, pointing a finger up to the sky.
I like this Smiley!
Flowey joined him on his shoulder, striking the same pose. "TEAM THORNBERRY AWAAAAYYY!"
The dog took off, leaping over trees and crushing the others as he headed towards the nearest dog show. How he knew where it was and why he was obeying without question was a mystery.
Peeking up from behind the couch, Undyne got off her knees sporting a wide frightened eye. Shaking, she leaned over the window and looked around.
Did they really go to a dog show...?
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" She screamed at no one. Taking out her FontSearch she tried to look up Sans, but found she either couldn't remember the first part of his font name or simply didn't know it. "ARRRGGHHH!"
"Is the coast clear yet...?"
"YEAH! NO THANKS TO YOU, COWARD!"
I can't believe he left me!
"There's a difference between being brave and being retarded Undyne-"
"YOU LEFT ME HERE!"
"You act as if I chained you to the floor-"
"DON'T TRY TO JUSTIFY THIS!"
"I don't need to, you made your choice and I made a better one."
"OH MY GOD!"
This traitorous mother-
"So what did I miss?" Papyrus looked out the window noticing the trampled trees. Apparently his brother had taken off somewhere...
I can't believe I forgot about the cartoon thing...
Whoever's responsible for this idiocy is going to pay.
"Your brother lost his damn mind, THAT'S what you missed! He fed the kid to the dog and took off to a dog show somewhere with Flowey!"
That's hilarious!
"That's awful!" exclaimed Papyrus putting his hands over his mouth.
"I know right?!"
"Oh dear...I suppose we'll need to go after them then." Papyrus brought up his brother's entry. "Here's all the current info on Comic Sans, let's see if the update added anything new."
Comic Sans: The Comedic Font
Attribute: ?
Type: ?
Comic Sans is the most varied Font in the world and is rarely moved by terrible situations. Usually laid back, they prefer to laugh at the misery of others including their own. They have the ability to instill laughter in other people with their aura and their ability, making them an easy Font to get along with when the buildup is low, however approaching Comic Sans is NOT recommended.
When buildup is high they become very dangerous and unpredictable. They turn from harmless comedian to destructive cartoon, causing major property damage and frequently taking lives, making them one of the most feared Fonts on earth, especially since it's incredibly easy for a Font to become one. Due to their laidback and uncaring nature Comic Sans tends to be willing to do ANYTHING that they think will get a laugh. Some prefer to use themselves as an audience, entertaining themselves any way they want regardless of the law.
Each Comic Sans has their own specific brand of humor depending on how they died or were raised. Some prefer slapstick while others enjoy race jokes; there are some who even prefer dark humor unique to Horror Fonts. Beware that their abilities change when their sense of humor changes.
Due to their massive magic use on a regular basis, Comic Sans sleeps longer than any other Font. The length varies but it is usually between seventeen to twenty hours a day. Unfortunately, this is what causes the destructive buildup as they cannot use their font while asleep.
Due to their destructive and unpredictable nature, there has been MAJOR controversy about their type and attribute label. Comic Sans abilities vary depending on their interests and sense of humor, and because of that it is near impossible to label them as only one type. Some believe they deserve the Physical and Horror label for their ability and need to cause comedic chaos, while others believe they're just Normal Fonts trying to make people smile and deserve the Dimensional label for their ability to jump back to a certain point in time through comic panels, ability to pull anything regardless of the size out of their pockets, and ability to warp reality for a small period of time. Others insist they be called Legendaries due to the possibility that they cannot be killed unless special circumstances are met.
If you or a friend believes they have seen this Font, get to a safe location IMMEDIATELY. Because of the behaviors and dangers this Font posses, the Capture Facility is currently unable to provide their assistance in capturing and rehabilitating this Font as of yet.
Extreme caution is advised.
Undyne reread the passage blinking several times in amazement.
Holy shit...Sans is a cartoon.
Undyne had watched a LOT of cartoons in her day. Ever since she was little she had watched them and her favorites were the ones with fight scenes, she spent hours copying their fighting moves and wanting to be just as cool as them.
But there were some cartoons she'd never be able to mimic or surpass.
That wasn't an anime cartoon or an educational cartoon from a show with a progressive story line...
That was an Animaniacs character.
That was a psychotic, violent, destructive, hyperactive cartoon with almost no morals whatsoever.
The captain took a deep breath, realizing how close she had come to death.
"You suck Papyrus."
"Nyeh?"
She had seen that human cartoon when she was younger. She had been rummaging through the dump and found the Animaniacs in a plastic case, untouched by the water and in almost perfect condition. She couldn't tell what the three characters on the box art were, but it looked interesting so she took it home and popped it into her VCR.
She wished she hadn't.
The cartoon wasn't like the Power Rangers or Sesame Street, it was entirely based on the misery of others. Whenever something bad happened to a character, the others shrugged it off or laughed like crazy. She remembered feeling torn while watching Pinky and the Brain. He wanted to take over the world, but she felt bad for him whenever his dreams were crushed...or he was. She remembered actually wishing that he would succeed in achieving his dream.
Just one time...please? No more disappointment, no more coming close and having someone or something snatch away his happiness...
But he never did, at least not to HER knowledge.
Of course he didn't, the whole show's based on laughing at other's pain. Brain was never meant to be happy, he was a victim.
But Sans wasn't.
He wasn't a Brain, he was one of those trouble-making..THINGS. Always destroying things, always upsetting people for no reason other than for their amusement. It was no wonder they were constantly hunted down and locked in a water tower.
They freaking deserved it.
They should of stayed in there and ROTTED.
But they never did.
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot weren't the type of cartoons that could be put in a jail cell of any kind and they couldn't be killed either. Whatever town they inhabited was doomed and god help anyone who crossed their path.
Sans killed that kid like it was nothing. He did it because he thought it was funny.
He's just like them.
He looks different, but he's JUST like them! THAT'S why people hate Comic Sans! HE'S AN ANIMANIAC! HE'S EVIL INCARNET!
"He must be destroyed."
"Nyeh? What'd you say?"
How do I do that though?
What could kill a cartoon?
"Undyne are you alright?"
"Wh-yeah, I'm fine."
"You're sure of this? Cause' I'm seeing a lot of emotions on your face and some of them are downright menacing-"
"I said I'm fine! Damn..."
"Very well, let's head to the nearest dog show then I guess. We've no other leads-"
"Why don't we get Bloodthirsty first? Your brother's a cartoon, he's not going down easy if at all. Especially when he's got a pet that enjoys eating people and Flowey by his side."
Papyrus sighed. "Every Font has a weakness Undyne, if Sans makes himself a problem someone will hunt him down and find a way to take him out...and that thing..is nothing but a big ugly target for the bombs and bullets it rightly deserves. Besides, Bloodthirsty's font is a violent one, he lives to cause problems. Perhaps it's best if we allow the CF to change him, so he'll fit in with his new family better."
Undyne nodded, she didn't have anything to argue with. Maybe once they got Sans..or gave up trying to catch him, they could get the CF to help. "Have you..maybe thought about getting your brother's font changed? His entry says the CF can't help him, but if Sans cooperates-"
"Sans is happy with who he is."
Yeah, I bet.
"He wouldn't be too happy if he accidentally killed you though, would he? He did kill Frisk, just saying..."
"I appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine. Worry more about yourself."
Undyne sighed in annoyance. "Waterfall is right NEXT to Snowdin."
Papyrus grinned at her. "Nyeh heh ha ha! Oh, I see...you're scared of Sans, aren't you? NYEH HEH HA HA HA HA!"
"WHATEVER! HE'S A FREAKING CARTOON WITH MAGICAL POWERS! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA MAKE FUN OF ME WHEN YOU RAN OUT THE ROOM TWO SECONDS AFTER HE SHOWED UP?!" Undyne took several angry steps towards Papyrus as he took several steps back.
"Nyeh heh ha ha, eaaasy Undyne..." said Papyrus putting his hands up. "I understand, I'm sor-PFFT! NYEH HA HA HA HA HA!"
"Whatever, I'm going home. I'll tell Asgore you said you'd rescue Bloodthirsty."
Whatever Papyrus, I'm outta here!
You can handle this yourself for all I care!
Stealth's not my thing anyway...Asgore will understand. I wish the Royal Guard were still around...all we have left is Greater Dog...
Undyne left the room and headed back to Mt. Ebott.
"Oh-ho dear, I'd better apologize later," said Papyrus to no one as he began to search the house.
I know these people have to have a computer around here SOMEWHERE.
Where the bloody hell is it?!
Finally, he found a laptop in Mummy's room, hidden in a drawer. Probably to keep the children from finding and fighting over it.
Clever.
Turning it on, he was relieved to find that it did in fact have an "internet" connection.
Excellent!
Now to find the closest dog show to Mt. Ebott...
I wonder how Flowey's getting along? Nyeh heh heh...