Me: Final Chapter!!
Jack: Finally! We can end this torture and get on with our lives!
Mike: You forget, he said Damian will go to other places. That means THIS story ends, but another will begin.
Me: Every beginning is an end, and every end is a beginning, and the end of this begins NOW!
Jack & Mike: He doesn't own.
Me: Bwahahahaha.
We find Link floating in a sea of clouds…
"Ahhh! I'm gonna fall!" He yelled only to find that he was in fact floating. "Huh?" He started to look around and saw Bitch floating about three feet away from him. "Princess Bitch, I mean, Zelda…where the fuck are we?" Link asked her. Just as she was about to answer she was silenced by a gauntlet clad hand.
"I'll answer that, thank you." Damian said. "We are currently floating in a Limbo… a gap between dimensions if you will. We are here because WE are to be sent to our original timeline."
"But won't that mean that this quest was for nothing?"
"Nah. This is your reward for defeating a man that would challenge your goddesses for domination. Even though we are going to return, our knowledge and the fact that Ganon-whore is sealed won't change…and as an added bonus, courtesy of yours truly, you will be allowed to remain with your loved one." When he said this Zelda got a scary glint in her eyes.
"Do you-"
"Link!! I love you too!" Zelda yelled at the top of her lungs. Damian and Link's faces showed identical "WTF?!" expressions.
"Ummm…Princess…I'm…uh...flattered (Read: Scared shitless.) but I…love someone…else…" Link said awkwardly while Damian rolled on the floor laughing his guts out.
"Did…did you really…Hahahahaha…believe that Link loved…YOU?!" Damian managed to wheeze between his laughter. "You stupid…Bitch! Hahahahaha!" Damian kept laughing for a while. "Whew. I needed that." He said wiping a stray tear of mirth. "No, Link does not love you, your royal bitchiness. He loves a really pretty and nice girl…not a blond bimbo. So, if you will excuse us, I have to talk to my friend here…alone." He said with an undertone of "fuck off". Zelda huffed and floated away. "Now that that royal pain in the ass is gone, as I was saying, I arranged that Saria will age like a Hylian so that you two will grow old and have kids together. And there is no hidden fee or payment necessary. Just promise you two will continue to protect Hyrule."
"I swear on my honor that we will…and thanks man. I'll tell her as soon as I see her."
"Well…it's time to go. I'll see ya later Link…and take care of that pendant." Damian said and Link disappeared inside a portal along with Bitch. "…He's a good guy. He deserves a bit of happiness, don't you think, girls?" Damian asked the apparently empty space. Three figures materialized besides him. One had fiery red hair and amber eyes and was dressed in a red and golden robe, another had blue hair and matching eyes and was dressed in a robe that had at least three different shades of blue, and the last one could have passed as an older looking Saria.
"We could never fool you, could we?" Asked the blue-haired girl.
"Heh. The day you three can sneak up on me, is the day I pass on my scythe and become a monk." Damian said with a smirk.
"Hey! We're not that bad!" The redhead exclaimed.
"Keep telling yourself that, Din…maybe some day you'll actually believe it." Damian said, still smirking.
"Nayru! Tell him to stop insulting me!"
"But Din, he is not insulting you."
"Huh?"
"He merely speaks the truth."
"Why you little…!"
"Din, remember Nayru is only one minute younger than you." The green-haired girl said.
"Shut it, Farore!"
"Enough!" Damian yelled. "Now, do you agree peacefully to my 'suggestion' of allowing Farore's descendant to marry my friend Link?" He asked with a smile that was 5 percent kindness and 95 percent 'Do it or I'll hurt you.'
"S-s-sure!"
"I concur"
"Yoo-hoo! My little girl is going to get a hero as a husband!"
"Then it's settled. Link and Saria are now meant to be together as man and wife…once they reach an appropriate age of course." Damian said getting nods from all three goddesses. "Then, if you'll excuse me, I must return to my time…and do say hello to Aunty Gaia from my part." He said and vanished.
Now, with Link…
"Fuck! I can't use the Master Sword with this body! Hey, where are you going, Navi?!" Link yelled, but Navi was already gone. "Great, just great. First Princess Bitch tells me she loves me…fucking cross-dressing bitch, then I find that I can't use my favorite sword and now my fairy abandons me…WHAT'S NEXT?! Ganondorf in a tutu?!"
"I really hope not. That's not an image I want in my head." Damian said, making Link jump six feet in the air. "That's the highest one yet." He said shrugging the rusty knives Link was glaring at him. "Now, we should go and see your girlfriend…and future wife." He said whispering the last part. Link immediately brightened up.
"I hope she accepts me as boyfriend material…HEY, speaking of girlfriends, where's Angela?"
"She wanted to travel alone for a while, said something about training so she could beat me into submission next time." Damian answered giggling perversely at the end.
"You know…I really didn't need to know that." Link said blushing. "Let's just get to the forest." He said. Once they were entering the forest Link stopped abruptly. "I feel like I'm forgetting something." He said pensively. He shrugged and began walking again. "Must not be anything important."
Meanwhile in the Castle Courtyard…
"WHERE THE HELL IS HE?! HE SHOULD REALIZE THAT I'M HIS TRUE LOVE AND COME CRAWLING AT MY FEET!!"
Me: That's it.
Jack: Kinda crappy ending, don't ya think?
Me: Nah! It's just that I couldn't think of any other ending and I never really liked the original ending.
Mike: Thank you, to everyone that read this fic.
Me: And keep your eyes peeled for the sequel! After much deliberation I decided against the MM fic, sooooo next stop: Sylvarant!
Jack: What?
Me: Next stop is Tales of Symphonia! Sharpen your swords, Damian! And tell your little sister that she better prepare too! See you later in "Tales of Death"! Oh, and thank you all who read this fic and special thanks to JtheChosen1 for all his reviews. May Chaos embrace us all!
Jack: He means: See Ya!
Mike: Good-Bye.