Yasuo retreated his hand immediatly.
« I... did this ? » his voice turned out strangled.
« Yes you did. » calm tone, careful. Yi's eyes studied the latter, gauging his reaction.
Ah. AH. AHHHHHHHHHHH.
It was a real conflict of emotions. Part of Yasuo was truly shocked by his own actions and scared on a rare scale but the other part was unraptured by the sight, the mere idea of his marks over Yi's skin. It had been something he fantasized for a long time, to give him mmmmh deeper affection, the kind visible for a day or more. Like he was mine.
But fear took over this temporary contemplation. Because since he left such intimate affection to Yi, it also meant Yasuo could have done more, in the same vein. He couldn't remember and he dreaded his memories. What did I do ? There was something coming up, but it seemed too unreal to be true, a remanant of a dream.
Yi looked concerned as he observed this slow break down happening. Surely because of Yasuo's wild gaze, surrending to panick.
« Did I do something else ? » he didn't dare looking away, not now. There were times when a man had to face his mistakes.
It took Yi a bit of time to answer, searching for the good words that wouldn't worsen the situation.
« Yes, but you're not the only one. You really don't remember anything of the night ? »
« No ! I remember nothing. Nothing ! » he shouted, losing his cool. « What do you mean 'not the only one' ? I did more than hurting, biting you, no ? Did I went further ? Did I... did I raped you ? »
During all this, Yasuo would have grabbed Yi, to transmit his doubts, his fear. But he refused to lay a hand on him ever again. His own touch disgusted him.
After such outburst, Yi was at loss, astounded by the questioning. « That's what you think ? That you abused me ? » With enough care not to alarm Yasuo, he took his hand to entwine with him.
Yasuo nodded without hesitation, trembling under the latter's gaze, even if there was no trace of anger or disapproval in it. Though he was quite reluctant to take this fond gesture Yi initiated. Yasuo was there, sitting in the grass like waiting for his judgment.
Yi seemed puzzled : « How to put it simply ? You did nothing wrong last night. All that happened was welcome and appreciated. Really, there is nothing to blame yourself for. »
It was Yasuo's turn to search for his words. Welcome ? Appreciated ? He squeezed Yi's hand, not entirely by his own will. « You sure… ? »
The answer came with a hint of annoyance, but easy to know it was just an act : « I thought I was clear when I expressed my feelings for you. Though I know till then we didn't go this far, this 'deeper' intimacy is something I wanted for a long time. Don't think I wasn't an active participant. »
The insinuation spinned in Yasuo's mind. An active participant…. The fluster stayed as lively as before. « The intimacy… I want it too. » he muttered.
« I know it, from last night enthusiasm. » Yi laughed, and it made Yasuo feel better like everytime. « But I'm glad to hear you say it. Without the alcohol helping. »
Yasuo let out a held breath, relieved. At least I didn't ruin everything. Yi ruffled Yasuo's hair at the occasion, for the cheer feeling it could give. As result, both laughed and it felt so good, Yasuo forgot the chill embracing his being, the fact that they were sitting in the grass while they slowly caught a cold. Well, Yasuo surely. Maybe not Yi. Anyway they ended up leaning to each other till their forehead touched.
Then Yasuo registered the absence of distance and parted as fast. « Errrrrm can you tell me what happened in details, please ? » It offered a quick distraction.
« As you wish but please be ready for the information you're asking me. » Yi sounded like his usual composed self, plus a very out of character touch of mischief.
This got Yasuo uneasy. Oh no. Is it a good idea to know ? He couldn't help but imagine what he did, what they did. Given Yi's tone, it wasn't some drunken cuddles in the middle of the living room. Good gods.
Yi could read him like a book, bringing him a smile as the confused sight before him occurred. « Relax, it's not that interesting. Or maybe not. »
« Just get on with it ! » tone betraying a bit of impatience and worry.
« Very well. So, we got drunk, you far more quicker than me. At some point, you looked like you just took a decision then you kissed me. And I responded, of course. »
« WE KISSED ? »
« Hey, no need to scream. Yes we did. »
That was it. Yasuo was so done with himself. « We kissed…. ? » And I don't remember.
« Yes. » neutral tone, waiting for Yasuo to comprehend. « May I continue ? »
That bewildered look didn't left the latter but he nodded nonetheless.
« It didn't stop here : we made out for a long time, I can't remember how long but it felt exquisite. Then you pushed me back to the floor, marked me like a starved beast and we grinded against each other till we came. That's all. »
Right now, Yasuo would be extremely pale if he wasn't equally flushed red because of such steamy ideas. His hands twitched a bit, fidgeting. « So we really had sex... » said with a small voice.
« Yes indeed. But not all the way in, I should point out. »
Yasuo choke. « How can you say that so easily ? »
« If you think I'm not making a big deal of it, you're wrong. You know, I did wanted this. It was so messy and hot, truly shameless, I loved every second of it. But I don't want to cause you regrets, since you don't remember it. » the tone was so dreamy, it was like he talked of a honeymoon. It only made Yasuo even more bothered and red.
« What happened next ? »
« You fell asleep on me right after the fun. So I cleaned up then went to sleep with you. You already know what comes next. »
With his free hand Yasuo hid his face, ashamed. Damnit. « I apologize. For letting you down this night. »
« Don't, please. Even though you kept no memory of this, I enjoyed it greatly. Looks like it was all you needed to make a move. » upon these words, Yi brought Yasuo's hand to his lips, giving him a peck. « Tell me, would it be fine to have sex again ? I would very like to. »
That's my chance. Don't be a coward.
« Yes please. » eagerness showed a bit in his voice, through all the strain. « I swear this time I'll not drink. »
Here they were, two blushing idiots sitting in the grass near the pond. Like nothing bad could happen to them.
That was it, happiness.