Prentiss

I had stayed at Derek's last night and woke up in silent tears from my dream of the news I had heard last night. I was able to stop them before Derek's alarm and got ready like nothing went wrong. I was smiling and talking like I did every morning and we went to work, taking a detour to get coffee for everyone on the way.

He put the coffees down on my desk and lifted Hotch and Rossi's.

"Ah." I took Hotch's, "I'll take it to him."

"…Okay. Why?"

"Just because." I shrugged my shoulders and waved to JJ, Reid and Garcia as they walked over. I picked up my coffee and kissed Derek's cheek before walking towards Hotch's office. The door opened before I knocked, "Something important to get to?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Then turn around." I motioned for him to go back into his office. He stepped back and closed the door behind me. I offered him his coffee.

"Thank you." He took it. "Something you want to talk about?"

I bit my lip, "You told me to come to you if I was…"

He nodded and walked to his seat behind his desk. "Sit." I stepped to the chairs across from him and sat in the one more to the left of the desk. "What happened?"

"You know last month, my first case back and that guy said a lot of things to me?"

"Ah…you heard."

"I wasn't aware that he was on death row."

"Neither was I until…last week."

"Last week? Why didn't you tell me? I only heard last night."

"I figured it would put you off. It obviously has."

I sighed and looked to the window where the team sat watching. They didn't even try to hide the fact that they were observing. "Why do I feel like that's my fault?"

"It isn't."

"But I feel like it is."

"Well, maybe you should—" He stopped as a knock sounded on the door and opened. I turned to see Derek.

"Sorry…a letter just came for you. It was marked urgent." Derek gave me a questioning look.

I stood up and took it from him, "Thanks."

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Bye."

He raised his eyebrows, "Okay then." I closed the door as he turned and I sat back down, looking back at Hotch.

"It's marked urgent." Hotch motioned to the envelope in my hand.

"But we're in the middle of a—okay, fine." I decided to let him win and open it now when his eyes turned forceful. I ripped it open and removed the folded piece of paper with 'Emily' written across it. I glanced at Hotch before unfolding it.

"My dearest Emily,

You are the reason I have been able to bear prison. The thought of you, your beautiful brown hair, your dark, sensual eyes; every part of you is stuck in my mind but I'm not complaining. If I saw you before my very first girl, I would have taken you instead without hesitation and I wouldn't have needed the others. You, my darling, are who I had been searching for. Perfect and beautiful and just…the one. If it's not too much to ask, I'd love to see your face before my demise. The 23rd of June is the date, 3 pm. You can bring your boyfriend, or your boss or father or the young one or the blonde. Whoever would enjoy my death more than you.

I hope to see you there on the big day.

Kind regards,

Paul Greener.

It was short but it was enough to scare me. He was trapped in prison and going to die next week and he was still able to terrify me, even through a letter. My breath caught in my chest and my throat closed up. I couldn't bring myself to breathe or look up or say anything. I was completely stuck and felt extremely vulnerable. My breathing picked up suddenly and an anxiety attack overtook me and my control over myself diminished.

Hotch knew right away and he tried to calm me down without much success. He decided it was best to let me try and handle it on my own like I always wanted to do and he took the letter and asked me quietly if he could read it. I couldn't reply and he took that as yes.

I managed to calm myself down enough and Hotch was able to help me with the rest. "And the day just keeps on getting better." I said sarcastically, looking away from Hotch so he wouldn't see the tears on my cheeks as I wiped them away.

"You don't need to go." Hotch assured quietly.

I nodded, "I know, but I feel like I should."

He shook his head, "Do not go if it's going to bring something like this on again."

"But he wants me to."

"Prentiss, he is a murderer and he only wants you there to be sure that he'll haunt you for the rest of your life even after his death. He wants you to suffer because you caught him and you beat him down when the rest of us were somewhere else and you have similar features to the women he liked. He is doing this for his own enjoyment and not for anything positive towards you. He wants you to writhe."

I nodded, my eyes closed and my head hanging so he couldn't see my face. Silence fell momentarily as he profiled me.

"You're going." He concluded.

"I have to." I whispered as I looked up.

"Do you want someone to go with you?"

"Uh…" I would say Rossi. He was the best option, the best support I had. He knew me best; but he wouldn't want to go, "No, no I think I'll be okay."

He smiled, "Who do you want? I can ask them for you if you want."

I glanced out the window as they talked and still sat watching.

"Rossi." He nodded.

"How the hell did you—"

"I'll ask him for you and I'm sure he'll be more than happy to."

I smiled weakly, "Thanks Hotch."

He nodded and stood from my side where he had moved to in the mix of my anxiety. I stood up and took my empty coffee cup and walked out of his office. I walked to the desks where the other five stood and threw the cup in the trash can against the wall.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked as I walked to my desk and looked at them.

"I just had an anxiety attack in front of Hotch and it was extremely embarrassing but other than that, I'm magnificent."

"That was sarcastic, right?" Reid asked.

I rolled my eyes and smiled at Derek.

"What was the letter about?"

I tilted my head, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Secrets." He shook his head.

"They are a fantastic thing…when coming from me. Do not start keeping secrets from me."

"That's just not fair." He gave me a grin of disbelief.

"Suck it up." I clicked my tongue and winked before sitting down and turning my chair to my desk.

An hour or two passed before Rossi walked over and stood beside my desk, leaning on it slightly, "Something you didn't want to ask me yourself?"

"Okay, to be fair—"

"Emily. It is not a good idea." He shook his head.

"Did you read the…"

He nodded, "You left it in Hotch's office."

"And that is where it will stay, or in the trash, either way I don't want to see it again."

"So you don't want to see the letter again but you want to see his—"

"Stop." I cut him off and looked over my shoulder. Derek, JJ and Reid were all listening.

"What letter?" JJ asked.

"You want to see who's what?" Reid asked.

"Emily…" Derek raised his eyebrows.

I looked back at Rossi, "Why you got to ruin my life like that, Rossi?"

"Your life was already ruined."

My lips formed a 'O', "Wow. Okay. Thank you so much for the outstanding support you've been showing me." Hotch left his office and walked down the steps, listening now, "You know what, Rossi? Don't worry about next week. I'll be fine on my own." I stood up and walked passed him.

"Paul Greener's death." Derek said to me before I got far enough away not to hear. I stopped and turned back around. "You're not going."

"I'm not your property. I will do as I please, thank you very much."

"You know how stupid this is, right?"

"This isn't up to you. This is between me and Greener and previously Rossi but not anymore."

"I didn't intend on offending you." Rossi lifted his hands in surrender, "Did you tell him I was your father or did he assume?" A small smirk formed on his face.

I rolled my eyes and walked to the break room. I poured coffee into a mug and sat down. They could all see me through the window but I pretended that they weren't there.

I sat in Rossi's living room with my team, Will, Jack and Henry. It was a regular thing to happen now, but it still felt new, special, important. My hand was linked with Derek's and my head rested on his shoulder. "Do you think I'm insane for going next week?" I asked quietly. The others fell silent and looked at Derek.

"Yes. Completely. You're letting him win, Emily." He replied. I unlinked my hand from his and lifted my head.

"I'm not doing it for him; I'm—"

"Yes you are." He cut me off. "You're going because he's about to put to his death and he wants you there so he can torture you. His last words will probably be directed at you. I don't understand why you're letting him do that and why you don't think that his death is justified. He raped and killed 4 women who all looked very similar to you and he did it very gruesomely."

"No one deserves—"

"Did Doyle? Did the two guys that kidnapped you, tortured and raped you? Did they deserve what they got? Because I think they did and you think they did and if those girls survived what he did to them, they would think he deserves it and I'm assuming their families do too."

"God, you're worse than Hotch."

"It's stupid."

"You already said that."

"Well you're not listening!"

"I am, Derek! Just because you or Hotch or anyone else doesn't agree with my decision, doesn't mean I'm going to change it!"

"Stop yelling." He said.

"You yelled first." I defended myself.

"Don't make me move you." Rossi said quietly.

I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm still going."

Derek sighed agitatedly and looked away from me, biting his tongue.

"And I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I stood up and walked out of the room.

"Bed before 10. Nice." I heard Reid say.

"She's had a bad day." Hotch defended me easily.

I went upstairs and had a long shower before throwing a shirt and pair of fabric shorts. I turned the lamp beside the bed on and turned the ceiling light off before sliding underneath the sheets and picking up the book from beside me where Sergio was already laying. Once I settled and had turned a few pages, Sergio moved to my legs and lay up them, staying there even when I decided to go to sleep.