A/N: At last, it's the beginning of the end! This is the second last chapter (if you don't count those two oneshots I've been going on about). Here's where I clue things up and tie up the loose ends I didn't in the last chapter. I REALLY hope you guys like this and aren't disappointed! -crosses fingers- Without further adieu, on with the show! Er, you know what I mean!
Disclaimer: I own nothing besides Amanda!
My vision was blurry as my eyes slowly slid open. My body felt like a ton of lead and my eyes blinked a few times to adjust to the strange new light.
What had happened?
Thinking long and hard, my memory finally made it back to what had happened.
The picture. The street. The car... my friends.
Groaning loudly, I forced myself to focus and try to get my bearings. From what I could tell, I was in a room. A strange room but evidently not a hospital room. Eventually regaining feeling in my body, my mind finally registered a hand cupping mine. Forcing my head to turn was a tremendous effort but eventually I managed and blinked in bewilderment at the person sitting beside my bed.
Who was she?
I was admittedly a little astonished to see a strange woman sitting beside me, weakly clutching my hand. She looked like she'd been through hell. With a sunken, pallid and pasty face, dark circles under her eyes, and a bandanna around her head, she looked like the victim of some old war movie. Her head was next to my hand as she was leaning over the bed from her place in a wheelchair. I was absolutely bewildered, I had no idea who this woman was.
Deciding to try and get some answers, I wiggled my fingers slightly, hoping this strange person would awake but at the same time hoping she wouldn't... she looked like she needed the sleep.
Apparently feeling the movement, tired eyes slowly opened until dull green orbs were visible through half-mast lids. Very slowly, the woman lifted her head, as if in a daze and looked up at me. She starred at me for a long time, as if unable to focus on me until finally she seemed to realize I was awake and her eyes widened considerably.
"Oh my God! My baby! You're awake!"
In that one instant the world came to a screeching halt and all movement in my body ceased. That voice...
It hit me like a brick wall. Now I knew this woman, knew exactly who she was. It took me a few moments but my shock escalated when I realized my eyes were streaming just as badly as hers.
"Mom..."
My mother choked and lifted my hand to press to her lips to the back of it. Thick, wet crocodile tears fell onto it while the wet kisses were pressed all over my clammy hand over and over again.
I blinked at the woman, utterly speechless for a long time, before finally looking around the room. The room was familiar but I couldn't place where I'd seen it before. Looking back down at the woman I loved with all my heart, I blinked at her a few times before forcing myself to speak again.
"It's OK... I'm alright... How did you get here? And... where is everyone?"
Once-brilliant eyes looked up at me and blinked a few times before sniffling softly.
"Who, baby?" She whispered weakly. "Where's who?"
I looked around again, half-expecting them to suddenly appear from behind the furniture or walk through the door.
"My friends." I informed her, fully expecting her to understand. "Tyson, Hilary, Kenny, Ray, Mariah... Kai and Max. They must have been here?"
"You mean... those boys from that cartoon show you watch?" She asked in confusion. I sighed lightly and gave her a small smile, having been over this before.
"Anime, mom." I replied with slight amusement. "But yea. Did you see them yet?"
My mother blinked at me for a long time until finally a deeply pained expression took over her face and she reached up to place a hand on the side of mine.
"Oh Mandy, baby..." She whispered, her voice laden with guilt. "It was... that was all just a dream, sweetheart..."
My smile widened a little.
"No, it's not!" I said, getting a little excited. "I thought so at first too, but then someone came to me in a dream. I duno who it was mom, but I know it was someone I could trust, I just felt it! And he told me that it wasn't, that it was all real and that things would work out!"
My mothers eyes began streaming with thick tears again and she closed them and bowed her head slightly rather then look at me.
"Oh my poor, baby..." She choked, her voice laden with guilt now. "I.. I wish I could let you live in your dream world forever, I'm sure it's so much more wonderful then here..."
Her voice was weaker then ever and very thick as she finally looked up at me again with glistening eyes and a pained expression.
"Mandy... you've been in a coma for a whole year... They found you washed up on a beach last June and couldn't wake you up. I've watched you and stayed with you every waking moment... Watched you sleep, knowing I couldn't wake you up and not knowing if I'd ever see those beautiful eyes again... You're home now baby. I took you home a few days ago because I couldn't let them pull the plug.."
She began sobbing then and she lifted my hand to her cheek, nuzzling it and gripping affectionately as if she were afraid I'd leave her again.
"I couldn't let you go." She sobbed. "I knew you'd come back to me, I just knew it. And I was right, here you are! Just a day after your birthday! Isn't it wonderful?"
But to me, that moment was nothing but wonderful...
It was a nightmare.
How could it all have been a lie? How could it not have been true? The emotions, the moments, the feelings and touches that could only have been experienced by one who'd actually been there. It couldn't be true...it couldn't.
"No.." I found myself whispering, unwilling to believe her lies. "Why are you saying that? You're my mother, you're not supposed to lie to me, what's wrong with you?"
I saw the heartbreak in her eyes as if I'd physically struck her. That's when I realized that she wasn't lying to me at all. It was true, I really had dreamed everything.
Feeling hot tears slip down my face again, I lifted my arm to cover my eyes.
"Why couldn't I just stay asleep?" I choked miserably. "It was so perfect... I didn't want to wake up..."
A strangled sob from beside me made me look back at my mother again. No eyebrows, no eyelashes, no hair at all. It was strange to see, but if that had been the worst of my worries I would have had nothing to complain about. I frowned deeply and an angry expression took over my face as I took in just how terrible my once-beautiful mother really looked.
"You look terrible." I stated, trying not to sound rude. But, needless to say; it failed. There's no way to sugar coat a statement like that.
My mother forced a small, watery smile as she reached up to wipe her eyes.
"I'm just tired."
My emotions all combined into one mighty wave then, my anger at the lead and I lashed out at her with far more force then called for.
"I know about the cancer!" I accused furiously, letting out all the anger and frustration I know I should have felt on the very first day. "Why didn't you tell me? When were you planning on saying something? Or were you planning on waiting until the very last moment? And how DARE you turn down treatments! That wasn't just your decision to make!"
"Mandy.." She cooed softly. "I didn't feel it was necessary to worry you. You had so much to worry about already. Besides, we could never have afforded the price."
"SCREW affording it!" I yelled angrily. "We would have come up with it somehow! Even if it meant we were in debt for the rest of our lives, at least it would have meant you'd HAVE a life!"
She gave me one of her tender smiles, the one thing still beautiful even through all the pain and difference.
"Mandy, baby... it's OK. It was gonna happen somehow. Besides, can you imagine me in a hospital and sick, hooked up to all those machines?"
She tried to make a joke out of it, as usual, but I didn't find any of it funny one bit.
I made a face at her.
"No, but I never imagined seeing you like this either!" I snapped.
"I know, baby. I'm not exactly the most attractive person in the world right now. But-"
"Attractive?" I practically yelled. "It's not about being attractive! How shallow do you think I am? I couldn't care less what you physically look like, you know damn well that true beauty in what's on the inside. YOU taught me that! I just can't stand to see you sick and weak and in pain and so utterly helpless!"
I knew I'd touched something inside her from the look on her face, but that hadn't been my intention. I'd meant it to be angry, furious. But instead, it seemed to ease her mind.
"My poor, sweet little girl." She whispered softly. "You always did have a way with words."
I should have hugged her then. Held her. Talked to her. Taken advantage of each and every last minuscule moment I had with her. But at that moment my head wasn't on straight and my mind was a whirling pain of emotions. Turning away from her I forced back more criminal tears and closed my eyes with a frown.
"I want to be left alone." I stated bluntly.
I felt her pull back from me and knew she was watching me with worried eyes she should have saved for herself.
"If that's what you really want." She replied in her familiar soft, maternal voice. "Can I get you anything?"
I opened my eyes and starred at the TV at the back of the room.
"Yea... I wanna see 'em."
She looked at the TV too and starred at it for a few moments. After a few, she looked back to me with a worried expression.
"Are you sure that's a good idea baby?"
I nodded.
"Yes. I need it."
"Alright... if you're sure."
I watched as she moved the electric chair around the room and over to the television. Flipping through my multitude of DVDs she finally found one of my favorites and popped it in the player. After setting everything up she picked up the remote control and came back over beside my bed to place the small device next to my hand.
"In case you change your mind." She whispered softly. She then leaned up with what looked like a great deal of effort and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before wordlessly turning and disappearing from the room, softly closing the door behind her.
The area where her lips had met my skin burned. It seared me as I recalled all the people in the past year who, I thought I remembered, had pressed tender kisses to my forehead as well. But it was all a lie. None of it had ever happened.
Unable to stand my own thoughts, I aimed the remote at the TV to turn it up and hugged my pillow as I watched the screen without a blink.
As the familiar events played out before me, so thoroughly familiar I could practically quote every single word the characters said, I realized something very important; this wasn't what I needed. After being heartbroken for the last time and feeling the pain I felt, watching the people I thought I'd just spent the last year with on screen knowing none of it had actually happened, it only killed me more. As usual, my mother was right.
A rebel sob escaped me as I rolled over and hugged my pillow to my chest. The effort not to cry was immense and I knew I didn't have the strength to resist. Furious with myself for all the tears I'd cried over the last year and the heavy waterfalls I was creating now - all enough to fill an Olympic swimming pool I was sure - I finally rolled over to face the wall and curl myself into a ball as I hugged my pillow to my chest and cried myself to sleep.
My eyes blinked open as I was awakened by a strange sound. Blinking at my clock, I realized it was hours later. I'd fallen asleep in the morning and it was then seven-thirty. Rolling over with furrowed brows, I starred at the TV in bewilderment. It was on and roaring loud while black and white fuzz flickered across it.
"Didn't I turn that off?" I whispered aloud.
Feeling something next to my side, I looked down and picked up the remote control, figuring I must have rolled over in my sleep and turned it on. Flicking the TV off again, I rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep. After a few moments, I heard the TV turn on again and rolled over to lift a brow at it. Looking over at the remote control I'd placed on my end table I reached over in confusion to pick it up again and once more flick the TV off. After a few moments, the TV turned on yet again and I sighed heavily, figuring it was broken. Hoisting myself up from the bed, I winced at the stiffness and pain in my muscles but ignored them in favor of slowly making my way over to the TV. Leaning down with a great deal of effort, I grabbed a hold of the cord and yanked it from the wall.
Now satisfied I'd be bothered no more, I turned and made my way back to my bed. I'd only just reached it when I heard the static for a fourth time. This time I froze in shock and fear, knowing for sure this time that I had starved the machine from it's power source. How could it possibly still be running?
Turning around stiffly and rim-rod straight, I stared at the TV with wide eyes. As I starred, stiff as a board, I watched the fuzz slowly fade away as a multitude of voices slowly faded into existence. Blinking in bewilderment, I starred at the screen as I saw a group of extremely familiar faces.
"I don't remember this episode..." I whispered to myself as I starred at the bladebreakers and co. As I starred, I unconsciously began to approach the TV until I was directly before it and could hear them all talking.
"That's impossible!" Max yelled at a strange man in a long, white coat. "Do you realize what you're saying?"
"I'm sorry, son, but it's true. She's gone."
"How can someone just disappear?" I heard Tyson yell just as angrily. "What kind of Doctor are you?"
"What's going on?"
The boys and people around them all turned to see Tala standing close by with a deep frown on his face.
"They're saying Amanda's disappeared!" Max yelled furiously. "Just up and disappeared from her hospital bed as if she'd never been there!"
Tala's face darkened maliciously.
"Now why would they go and say a stupid thing like that?"
The Doctor paled considerably and took several steps back from the redhead.
"I'm just stating facts." The man replied nervously. "She's vanished into thin air and no one knows what happened to her.
At that point I was on my knees, gripping the TV so hard my knuckles were white. Once again, my eyes were streaming but this time I had no room left inside me to be angry at myself. This time my heart was breaking so badly I was sure I'd die from it. It was a physical pain that extended from my chest to my stomach and even up to my head until my entire being was in physical agony.
"This is sick..." I hissed aloud. "A sick, cruel, joke! Stop it! Please! Whoever you are, just stop it! I can't handle this!"
"Don't cry. Everything happens for a reason."
I whirled around and blinked through blurry eyes. There was a dark figure before me now and although it was hard to decipher through my blurry vision, I knew it was the strange figure who had visited me in my dreams so many months ago. What disturbed me was that he was now standing before me in the real world.
"Am I asleep again..?" I asked in confusion as I starred at him.
"No." The figure replied. "This is very real."
My face contorted in anger as I blinked back my tears to see him better.
"That's what you said last time!" I accused angrily. "And it was all a lie!"
"Was it?" The figure replied mysteriously.
"Yes! It was!" I yelled back. "And dream or not, who are you anyway? I want to know, show yourself!"
"In time." The figure said simply. "For now, wouldn't you like to know what's going on?"
I chewed my cheek for a moment before finally frowning.
"Only if you're going to tell me the truth!" I replied, still a little miffed.
"Nothing but." The figure replied simply. "I've never lied to you."
I snorted but remained silent as he continued.
"Our world isn't the only world out there, as most of us are lead to believe. But it takes great sacrifice to be able to cross from one into another. In your case, you gave up a great deal to do just that. But last night you were brought back to your world for a reason. Do you know why?"
I blinked at the figure for a minute, confused and a little skeptic to believe what he was saying. Still, whether or not it was real was irrelevant just then. No matter what, he was standing before me and that in itself was something I thought to be impossible. So why not go with it?
Deciding to play along, I sat back on my haunches and starred up at the figure.
"I have no idea." I said bluntly. "Please tell me."
"You were brought back because you still had something to return for, something holding you down."
My heart picked up pace then and I suddenly found it hard to breathe.
"I don't like the way you said had." I whispered, barely audible.
There was a long pause, a deafeningly silent one and the tension and atmosphere in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. When finally the figure spoke again, his voice was soft and soothing yet firm.
"They told her she only had a few months to live but she stayed. Something kept her alive far longer then she should have been. In the end they realized she was waiting for something..."
The way he was talking in the past tense was absolutely terrifying me. My chest was tight as I waited for him to continue.
"She was waiting for you." He finished finally.
I forced myself to swallow hard as I bit my lip and spoke.
"She... she... she's not..."
"She's gone."
My world once more came crashing around me. As a reflex, I turned towards the door and made to jump up and towards it but before I could move, the figure lifted an arm and the door slammed shut.
"There's nothing to see." He said softly. "Why kill yourself with grief over something so trivial."
"Trivial!" I screamed savagely. "She's my mother!"
"She's no longer in pain."
Those blunt words halted me in my tracks and my anger sizzled out like a raindrop on an open flame.
"She's no longer in pain." I repeated quietly.
I was torn up over how I'd left things with her. The last time I'd seen her, I'd let her leave me with angry words. Now she was gone... and I didn't even get to say goodbye.
The figure spoke again and I looked up at him once more while my eyes filled up and my chest constricted in grief.
"She understands." He said softly. "She knows you were hurt and upset and she doesn't blame you. She loves you very much and she knows you love her with all your heart. Don't upset yourself more over something that was never your fault. You'll both be happy again... and you never know what the future may bring."
Taking his words to heart, I could only push my pain and emotions aside and trust him - trust that I might see her one last time and that if not, that what he said really was true; that she really didn't blame me. Knowing what a beautiful person my mother was inside and out, it wasn't very hard to believe.
Sitting back on my haunches again, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"What now?" I asked simply, not daring to think about what 'gone' really meant.
"Now you decide. Stay here in this world... or go back and finish out your life in a world you'd much rather be a part of. It's your choice."
I closed my eyes and bowed my head, my hands in fists on my knees as I tried to sift through the tornado of thoughts in my head. My mind was in utter turmoil. If I was still dreaming, then it was a damn realistic one.
After an eternity, I took a long, deep breath and opened my eyes again.
"I have nothing to stay here for." I replied softly. Which was true. I had no friends or family in this world, no job, no real life. I had nothing.
The figure nodded.
"Then go back." He said simply.
Before asking what should be asked, I had to know what needed to be asked. What I needed to know.
"Where will she go?" I asked softly. "Will she come with me to.. the beyblade world?...Or.. somewhere else."
"Somewhere else."
I felt my heart sink but I wasn't terribly surprised. Needless to say; it wasn't really unexpected.
"She'll be happy." The figure assured me.
I wiped away a rebel tear, vowing it was the last I'd ever shed, and lifted my head confidently.
"I know." I replied firmly. "Alright. I'm ready. How do I go back?"
The figure lifted an arm and a black gloved hand pointed across the room. I turned my head and blinked at my full-length mirror, absolutely stunned to see that the image I'd previously been watching on TV was now displayed in it instead.
Looking back at the figure, I blinked at him for a while before standing up and speaking again.
"The mirror?" I questioned a little uncertainly. "I just... go through the mirror?"
Wordlessly he nodded and I blinked a few times before turning around and grabbing a backpack nearby. I wasn't sure if it was pointless or not but I had to try this time since I'd missed out the first time and would obviously not get a third chance. Running around the room, I quickly stuffed picture frames and albums into my bag, along with some of my favorite DVD's and CD's. Since none of them were part of the beyblade world, I had no idea if they'd still be with me when I got back there but I had to try.
When I'd finally finished 'packing', I turned to the figure before facing the mirror.
"One last thing before I go." I said firmly.
"Anything." He replied softly.
"Who are you?"
A small smile became visible beneath the hood before the figure spoke again.
"In your haste to get out of here, I thought you were going to leave without finding out." He replied, sounding a little amused. "I suppose there's no harm in telling you now."
I watched in anticipation as the figure finally lifted his gloved hands and grabbed a hold of the huge hood around his face. Without hesitation, he pushed it backwards until it fell around his shoulders.
My jaw dropped and my eyes widened as big as saucers. Without a word, my backpack dropped to the floor with a loud clunk; but before it hit, I was already across the room with my arms around the figure.
"How could I not have recognized you!" I exclaimed sadly, my arms hugging the figure before me tightly. "I'm a horrible daughter! First I forget my mother, then I don't recognize my father!"
The tall man before me chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.
"You weren't meant to remember." He said gently. "I didn't want you to."
"You made me forget didn't you?" I asked rhetorically, knowing the answer. Not waiting for him to speak, I continued. "Thank you for watching over me... but will I ever see you again?"
My father pulled away from me and looked down at me with a sad smile.
"Maybe." He replied softly. "Who knows... I was only sent this time to help you adjust and move on. I know things have been hard for you and mom since I left and I knew you never really let me go. But you've gotta let me go now, kiddo."
I hugged him tightly one last time before stepping away from him firmly and nodding my head in determination.
"I know." I replied bravely. "But at least I had a chance to say goodbye this time."
Turning towards the mirror, I approached it and looked over my shoulder after grabbing my bag off the floor once more.
"I love you daddy." I whispered, feeling a sudden tension in my chest as I began to choke up.
He smiled at me, a comforting, warm, parental smile.
"Love you too kiddo." He said gently. "Have a good life."
I smiled and nodded and turned away from him one last time before reaching for the mirror. When I touched it, it felt like icy water and parted and rippled like it when my hand sank into it. Turning to look back at my father, I noted a little sadly that he was now gone. I looked back at the mirror and took a huge, deep breath before finally thrusting myself forward.
It was just after sunset in Bey City and I took a deep breath as I breathed in the fresh air. Resisting a shiver, I recalled the experience I'd just had - feeling like I'd just been thrust through icy cold waters -and turned around to look behind me. The only thing I saw however was my own reflection, once again anime-ized as I starred into a mirror identical to the one I'd just stepped through. I reached out to touch it and smiled as my hand stopped, the girl inside the mirror mimicking me as our hands pressed together and we smiled at each other.
I turned away from the mirror and looked around, realizing I was in a furniture shop. Turning to the front of the shop, I grinned wide as I looked out the huge window in the front of the store and saw a group of people, all arguing amongst themselves in front of the hospital across the street.
"Can I help you miss?"
I turned to the store clerk addressing me and grinned wildly.
"No thanks!" I replied enthusiastically. "I found what I was looking for!"
And with that, I turned on my heel to leave the bewildered clerk starring after me as I bolted for the door.
As soon as I left the shop and reached outside, I stopped and starred at the faces across the street, who had yet to notice me. Looking them all over, my mind wandered to a certain set of words from a very short time ago.
"So. Do you know who you're going to pick?"
Grinning like a fool, I took a deep breath and adjusted the backpack on my shoulder before looking both ways and running for the other side of the street.
"Yes, Kai." I thought to myself. "I know exactly who I'm going to pick. It might not have been the most obvious of choices all along but it's sure as hell obvious now!"
And without a second thought, I darted across the street, straight for the person I fully intended to give my heart to.