A/N: I have been working on this chapter for over a month. I have a bunch of stories but I had a hard time deciding how to group them. I decided to post them chronologically by theme for the time being. This chapter deals with Gin and Ran's scandalous relationship before the betrayal. The next chapter will deal with it after he is revealed a traitor. It is a super long chapter.
Warning...the first story is a lemon. I didn't intend for it to be...it just sorta happened so I rolled with it. It fits in with the theme. We all need some fluff in our lives now and then.
And...I don't own the characters, only the stories within, like you didn't already know.
Enjoy. :D
P.S.: Thanks for the reviews/ support. It makes my day.
Focus on the Positives
It is easy to focus on the negatives in life. We can more easily see what is wrong in any given situation, than to relish in the blessings that are taken for granted. Oh, there are many negatives to our relationship. There are so many things I would love to change…
Sometimes, I want nothing more than to slap his face repeatedly until I permanently knock the humor out of smile. There is nothing funny about how he hurts me. His apathetic actions break my heart most often. I just wish he would be the person I knew long ago. He was kind, passionate and good natured. These days, nothing wounds me like when he walks by me on the sidewalk and does not even look at me, as if we are strangers. Strangers we are not.
So, I try to focus on the positives.
I do so love when he steals the night from me. It serves to reassure my place in his corn maze heart; for a moment at least. He takes my verbal hits as they come and counters with ingenious one-liners that rival my perpetually agitated tone against him. The subtle twitches of his face give away what he is thinking (if you know how to read them). On occasion they have been known to make my heart flutter, involuntarily, of course.
The unfortunate actuality is that I love him, most ardently. My one-on-one time with him is practically non-existent these days. I have grown to appreciate alone time when it comes along. Like a bird in a hat, it disappears in a puff of smoke all too soon. If only I could chain him to my side.
One moment in particular sticks out to me. It was a Saturday evening; I had declined all invitations to go out for drinks. Actually, I was eager to stick my nose in a book and lose myself, for a moment in time, to another world. I desired to be alone with my thoughts. You believe me; right?
I needed a distraction to keep my mind from wondering. My decision to stay home had nothing to do with the lingering hope that someone would sneak into my apartment and have his way with me. Nope, that thought never crossed my mind. That would make me a pathetic loser.
Positive: Sneaking around was kind of hot and exciting.
I had taken a long bath and ordered take out. I dressed myself in a pink silk and lace nightgown that flared out just above my knees. I lounged on my couch with my book in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. My apartment was really quiet but it didn't bother me. I had come to embrace my solitude; I promise.
I had become so enthralled with my book that I didn't notice his presence until I heard a thud and an agitated, sarcastic voice scream every expletive known to mankind. His voice made my stomach do flips. He really came!
You see, he had climbed through the window in the room I use as a closet. It was his favorite way to sneak into my apartment without being detected by my subordinates. I heard loud crashing noises as he made his way through the room (on purpose, I'm sure). I rolled my eyes. What a complete dork.
Positive: He always comes back…eventually.
He was no doubt tripping over every single shopping bag I had left strewn about in that room. I had spent the evening before shopping with Nanao and I hadn't gotten around to unpacking my finds. What was the rush? It wasn't like they were going anywhere. Besides, the real treasure was just arriving.
Positive: He went out of his way to spend time with me.
I saw him emerge from my closet room and make his way into my living room with smooth, leisurely steps. I bit my tongue to keep myself from smiling. Out of the corner of my eye I watched him jump back in faux, exaggerated surprise when he saw my form on the couch. He hid his hands in his sleeves and took a few steps forward. He wasn't fooling me; he had known I was there.
"Oi. Yer here!" It was a statement more to himself than to me.
I didn't take my eyes off of my book. The sarcasm rolled off of my tongue effortlessly. "Yeah, I live here, genius." His facial expression did not change, as he walked closer to me. "So…Walk much?"
"Yer closet threw up." He said in mock annoyance, ignoring my insult. His demeanor lightened and he began to lower his mask a bit.
I gave him a sideways smirk, as I turned a page to the book I was reading, trying to act indifferent to his presence.
"My maid is out sick."
"Ya sure she didn't die, Ran-chan?" His perfunctory response echoed in the small room. I didn't respond to him verbally, however, I flashed him a dirty look over my book. The look on his face told me that he was thrilled that he had struck a nerve with me. I sunk further into the couch under the weight of my annoyance.
"Tisk, tisk. What would little girl Rangiku say 'f she could see ya now, with 'n entire room of clothes?" I heard the nostalgia reverberate in his voice. His question was odd, even for him. It was a time when the lives we were currently living seemed about as achievable as winning the lottery. The odds were stacked against us, but we beat those odds.
I enjoy wearing my clothes but I will never forget where I came from. I own them, they do not own me. My humble beginnings are etched into my skin. The finest fabric could never compete with the love that I felt in my heart for him. He is my beginning.
Positive: We built a life together out of nothing…but love and hard work.
I laughed softly, "She'd say. Hurry up and grow up. I need a jacket to cover my freezing ass!" It was a joke, but honest nonetheless.
The harsh realities of living in poverty stayed with us well into adulthood. We were lucky to have each other because we didn't feel as poor as we were. It just happens when you have someone to share your life with.
As we grew older, and our hormones began to rage, the need to huddle together to stay warm was not only a necessity. It was an overwhelming desire. I looked forward to it every night and craved it every second he was gone. The way his hand held my hips firmly against him and the soft sounds of his breathing when he slept made me feel safe and protected. How I miss that.
Positive: He made me happy.
"Pft. Why d'ya need a jacket? That's what I'm for." He asked, sounding almost offended.
"Yeah. That's not a flawed plan at all." I snapped before I could stop the words from coming out of my mouth.
He bowed his head to me and flashed me a sad smile.
"Touché."
He shook his head slightly and floated through the room to stand behind me. He leaned down, over my shoulder. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and it was arousing. My hair stood on end. A familiar tugging began to pull at my stomach. Memories flooded my thoughts and my brain turned to incoherent mush. Here we go. All aboard the rollercoaster.
Positive: He knows exactly how to push my buttons, deliciously.
I read the same sentence five times before I just stopped trying. I could not get my eyes to focus on the page. He rested the side of his head against mine and stared at my book over my shoulder. Then he began reading out loud…except he just made up words.
"Diamond, the, box, fox, rocks, and, circle, impecunious, but, eyes, odious, hair, mouth, pout, green, dream, spleen, surreptitious, so delicious…"
"Will you stop?!" I exclaimed, as I reached behind me to smack him, wherever I could reach him. He let out an exaggerated, breathy sigh.
I snapped around to face him and stroked his jaw line with my thumb. "Awww… poor baby. Am I not paying enough attention to you? Are you trying to impress me with your intellect by using $20 words? How "un-surreptitious" of you." I examined his face thoroughly.
He smiled so wide that I thought his face would crack. "That's n't a word…"
"Is that so? Well, some of us have brains and some are just naturally good looking. I guess we can't have both." My hand dropped from his face. "I am the latter."
He then removed an arm from his sleeve and scratched his head in false confusion.
"I'm confused. When d'thay start lettin' girls read? Next thing ya know they're gonna want equal rights an' stuff." He placed his arm back into his sleeve. He cocked his head to the side to await my reaction. He knows I am a spitfire. I am pretty sure he was counting down to my explosion in his head.
I eyed him, calmly, without expression. I reached for my wine and sipped, slowly. I did not take my eyes off of his playful face. I set my wine glass down and answered him with my middle finger.
"Can you read this? It's sign language…" I asked, continuing the playful banter.
"Yer gettin' a bit ahead o' yerself, ain't cha? This body ain't free. I'ma make ya work for it." He rubbed his hands suggestively up and down his body.
Oh, he got me. I couldn't suppress my laughter any longer. I let out a full belly laugh and it felt wonderful. He is the only person that can make me laugh like a maniac. What am I going to do with this silly man?
Positive: His sense of humor.
I slammed the book shut with a sigh and finally rewarded him with my full, undivided attention.
"I'm sorry, Captain. Are you lost?" I tried to sound annoyed. The residual effects of my laughter betrayed my tone. My smile brightened. I was so glad to see him. It is amazing how we could just pick up where we left off, even after months of separation. I smiled at him knowingly. We fit together well, when we were like this.
His eyes cracked opened only slightly and they locked onto mine. Through his eyelashes, I could tell his eyes were sparkling with hunger and need. My cocky smile faded, as I felt a spark ignite in my chest. Tension began build in the air. For a moment, I forgot what it was to breathe.
Positive: He can still take my breath away.
He brushed the hair out of my face and skimmed the side of my cheek. My skin tingled and sizzled underneath his touch. He leaned closer to me. His whisper, light as a feather, tickled my nose.
"Sure am…Lost 'n yer eyes."
And just like that, I was a burning pool of submission. All of my anger and frustration dissipated into a cloud of smoke (and denial). I had him at that instant and everything else fell away. I wanted him so badly. It was long overdue.
"Would you like me to throw you a life preserver?" I asked in the sexiest tone I could conjure up. "T'would be a crying shame to lose you…out…there..."
He continued to stroke my cheeks softly. He held onto me like a piece of glass, he was afraid might slip through his butterfingers. I leaned into his touch and my heart slammed against my ribcage with every flustered beat.
I wanted him to devour me already. What was he waiting for? All of my limbs quivered with anticipation. My desire only multiplied with each passing second. Tick, tick, tick, tick…
Closing the distance between us, he laced both hands in my hair and pulled me toward him swiftly. His forehead rocked side-to-side against mine.
"No, sweetheart. I wanna die, drownin' in your big, beautiful, blue eyes."
Positive: When I have his undivided attention, I am his Queen.
My eyes fluttered shut. I took a deep breath and smiled against his lips. He had my stomach doing summersaults like a little school girl. What had he done to me? How did he still have power over me like that?
His whole demeanor had changed. In less than a second, he went from sarcastic and witty to serious and passionate. There are so many facets to his personality that his company is certainly never boring.
I gripped his face and ran my thumbs underneath his eyes and then down, over his lips. I pleaded gently into his mouth.
"Please, let me drown with you."
He pulled his forehead off of mine and his eyes shot open. I was paralyzed with desire, as I willingly hurled myself into the ocean of his irises. He had me so enamored that I was sure that one kiss would send me off of the edge of reason.
Suddenly, without warning he engulfed my lips with his. My mouth tingled, as he slowly kissed his way down my neck. The butterflies in my stomach began to rise into my throat. His lips were sweltering and I was sure that he'd leave scorch marks everywhere his lips grazed my skin. I wondered how the marks of his love would look with against my rosy complexion.
The next few minutes were a blur, as we both realized we couldn't hold back any longer. I am not responsible for my actions. I was intoxicated with the poison he slipped me. My desire took complete control of my body and mind. Even though that night wasn't the first night we'd ever spent together, it was surrealistic. It was the epitome of what I wanted our relationship to be. It had left me wanting, craving that happiness again.
When my brain came to, I realized we had not even made it to my bed. He had only bothered to remove my panties; the rest of my attire remained untouched. I removed his robe, as it was in my way of admiring his abs and I had only gotten his pants down far enough to allow me to embark on his ride. My need to be one with him sooner, rather than later, won out over decorum.
I was straddling him on the couch, still looking into his brilliant eyes. He had me completely hypnotized. I rocked against him, slowly rolling my belly and grinding into him. My intention was to savor the feel of him being inside of me. I didn't know when I would have this opportunity again. He let me have my way, and made no complaint about my slow pace. Patience has always been his virtue.
Positive: His endless patience is inhuman.
How wonderful it felt to let him set my skin ablaze, inside and out. It was maddening. As I moved, I could hear subtle changes in his breathing. I smiled and mentally high-fived myself. It sounded like I was making him just as crazy as he was making me.
Curious hands pulled down the straps to my nightgown to expose my chest to the cool air. The pink satin tickled as it slid down my torso and gathered around my hips. My back arched, involuntarily, as he took one aching peak in his mouth. Every flick of his tongue hastened my need for release from the tension pooling in my core.
Calloused fingers sailed across my skin at an agonizingly slow pace. They nimbly explored my arms, my back, my neck, my face. His movements were mature and controlled, yet they set off a chemical reaction between us that we couldn't stop, even if we had wanted to. We took turns teasing and rewarding one another.
Positive: We work great as a team.
I needed more friction and he wasn't honoring my subtle requests fast enough. How can he be so calm? My shaky arms held onto his neck tightly so I could take in more of him. Immediately, my eyes slammed shut and my breath hitched. I did not suppress the vocalization of my enjoyment. So, I went in for the tease.
"Any deeper and you'll touch my brain," I whispered with a punch-drunk expression. I slowly nibbled on his earlobe and dug my nails into his back in order to reel myself in.
My eyes rose up to meet his gaze through my eyelashes, innocently observing the frustration I was causing. I noticed him gritting his teeth in an effort to remain cool, calm and collected. I gave him a wink and I dared him to resist my advances. As if he could. Doesn't he know who I am? No one is immune to me.
He took the bait and grabbed my hips firmly. My eyes flirted with him and I gave him a knowing smirk. I opened my mouth to gloat but he spoke first.
"What d'ya think they'd say, Ran-Chan?" His hands drifted down to grip my backside harshly. I cocked my head to the side, in confusion. "What d'ya think they'd say 'f thay knew…that I am the man between yer perfectly sculpted thighs?"
I immediately froze all activity and regarded him with a mixture of bewilderment and annoyance. Really? Are we really going to go somewhere that I never thought we'd go?
"Since when did you start caring about what people say? I don't give a…" I began in a deflated tone. He silenced me with a finger to my lips. I looked at him suspiciously. He leaned in closer to me, face more serious than usual. I looked off to the distance as he whispered into my ear.
"Thay'd say…Ya sure are one lucky girl. Look 't me…I'ma 10."
And there it was. The sarcasm was back.
My eyes snapped back to his, just in time to watch the humor return. His smile, dared my patience to crack. Patience was never my virtue.
"Ha. I am curious how you were able climb through the window, with your swollen head and all… I mean…look how big your head still is, even after all your blood rushed south..." I barked.
He smiled at me and waited for me to resume but I made no move to continue.
"You know that I am just as stubborn as you are patient. It seems we are at an impasse. Whatever will we do?" I asked innocently and hugged him closer, squishing my breasts to his chest. I tangled my fingers in his hair and rested my forehead on his shoulder. Oh, yeah, I'm stubborn.
Positive: We take EVERYTHING in stride.
In response, his hands crept around and grabbed my hips so quickly, it startled me. My head snapped up.
"Hey!" I chided.
Big hands rocked my hips. He requested control and I acquiesced. He narrowed eyes a bit to celebrate his victory.
"Pft. I could tell you "no" if I wanted to…" I insisted.
He began slowly but steadily increased the pace. I felt every glorious inch of him moving within me. The heat he was creating turned my skin a light shade of pink. The tension in my core was becoming unbearable.
It must have become unbearable for him, as well. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind, he hooked his arms under mine and held me by the shoulders. Without warning, he slammed me down onto him. Mmmhmmm…Look who is impatient now.
His movements were as erratic as his heartbeat. I saw stars every time he reentered me. I found it impossible to tease him any further. He was seriously making my head spin. The delicious feelings he was creating deep within my body rattled my bones. It felt like miniature firecrackers exploding as the tension in my belly continued to grow. My arms and legs began to shake under the weight of my anticipation but I had to hold one. I didn't want it to end.
A hand reached for the base of my neck and grabbed a fistful of hair. He pulled my face toward his and rested his forehead on mine, again. He spoke to me through his panting.
"Let go…stubborn woman…ladies first."
Every cell in my body lit up when he spoke to me in a low, sexy, breathless tone. His voice sent a shiver down my spine. I smiled wickedly.
"And 'they' say…chivalry…is dead..."
I closed my eyes and savored the moment. I really didn't want it to end but nothing can last forever…not even Mr. Patient. Once I had given in, it didn't take long for me to tumble off of the edge. My body shook like a leaf in his arms, as wave after wave of sweet euphoria washed over me.
He pushed into me one final time and he joined me in the land of ultimate bliss. He immediately held me at the small of my back and buried his face between my breasts. I combed his damp hair to the side with my fingers, as our bodies spiraled back down from our pleasure high.
I am a lucky girl.
Positive: No one else will ever know him as intimately as I knew him. That is proof enough of his love for me.
Sherlock Holmes
Alcohol and testosterone don't always mix well. That fact was apparent to me while sitting with four knuckleheads trying to prove how "big" their respective balls were by challenging one another to juvenile dares…because we all know that ball size is measured by how many punches one can take in the stomach before collapsing in pain. Our table at the restaurant was loud and drawing more attention than I cared to endure. I was a lone woman in a man's twisted game.
I was bored, so I sauntered my way over to Captain Shunsui Kyoraku, who was sitting by himself at the bar. He is always more than willing to sit with me and talk about anything and everything in life. The Captain had a knack for putting things into perspective for me. He is very wise and I appreciated his wisdom.
"Why aren't you staying over there with the young men? They look like they are having fun." He said happily, as he motioned to the bartender to bring me a drink.
"Eh. They are having a contest to see who has the biggest balls," I said, as I took a seat in the stool next to him.
"And you don't want to see who prevails? It might prove interesting." His smile was warm and inviting.
"Nope. All of them have already lost. I am the sole winner." I watched him raise an eyebrow out of the corner of my eye.
"Oh? How did you come to that conclusion?" The bartender placed a drink before me.
"They never had a chance because my balls are sooo big I have to carry them on my chest." I giggled rather loudly as I ran my hands over my own boobs. "Besides, I am too tired to watch their games. I didn't get much sleep last night." I let out an exaggerated yawn.
He raised his glass to me and said, "You always know what to say to make me laugh."
He set his glass down and pulled my wrist toward his nose. I leaned into him, resting an elbow on the bar. It was strange but I went along with it. I was curious to know what he was up to.
"Mmmm...that fragrance is 'Spellbound.' That is a mighty classy fragrance that you're wearing, young lady."
"I'm impressed," I beamed and reclaimed my wrist. "So how do you know the name of my perfume?"
"Oh, I know everything about women, my dear." I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "I know all about the things that they say, do and wear to drive us men crazy with desire."
"Aww…was your heart broken by a woman who wore this scent?" I teased with an exaggerated pout.
"All women break my heart, my dear," he sighed. "Did you know that every perfume smells differently on every woman who wears it? It's true! Particularly, when 'Spellbound' reacts to the chemicals on your skin, Rangiku, it takes on a spicy undertone like a whirlwind of cinnamon and nutmeg."
"Is that so?" I laughed. He is always trying to charm the pants off of a woman. "You always know what to say to make me laugh."
His voice took on a more somber tone, as his features became slightly more serious. "You know I like to sit here and watch people."
"That's not creepy at all, you dirty old man," I retorted, sarcastically.
"I, also, like to watch you."
"Because that is even less creepy? Should I be concerned?" I feigned worry. He touched his hand to mine and I watched the playful glimmer in his eyes dissipate. He was serious.
"I watch you shamelessly flirt with those men constantly, but you aren't playing fair, are you, Rangiku? You let them think you are an eligible bachelorette. The fact is quite to the contrary, isn't it?" I looked down at my drink and did not say a word. Oh, I didn't like where this conversation was heading. I should have stayed in the company of the idiots with small balls. My smile faltered as I took a sip of my drink.
"You surround yourself with men but I found it strange that you never seem to leave with any of them. Week after week I watch you go home alone. I mean, you ooze sexual energy. What do you do with it? I found it curious that you never indulged, not even once."
He paused to watch my reaction. I could see the wheels in his head turning. Just what was he getting at?
"However, I have come to the conclusion that your bed may not be as cold as I originally thought."
If it were anyone else, I would have been furious that my sex life was even on the table for debate. It is frankly no one's business who I bed and who I do not bed. That is between me and my partner…or lack thereof. I don't know why these people think that I owe my body to anyone who seeks to possess it. My body is mine to share with whomever I chose. But this is Captain Kyoraku. He thinks of nothing but sex so I wasn't as offended as I probably should have been.
I held onto my humor and asked, "So, just because I am a woman I am obligated to sleep with someone? That is kinda sexist, don't you think, Captain? Besides, why are you so concerned about who is in my bed, anyway? Are you applying for the position?"
He smiled, as if he were expecting my retort. "No, doll. I like my head, very much, where it is."
I feigned an innocent tone, "Whatever could you mean? I don't bite that hard."
"It isn't your bite I fear…it is the bite of your bedmate that I'd rather avoid. I noticed that every man who has ever touched you, without your consent, has befallen misfortunes not long afterward. Like your old Captain…the one that assaulted you…rumor has it that he castrated himself. They know it was self-inflicted because he used his own zanpakuto."
"Karma is a bitch, Captain." I said with a snarky undertone.
"Hmp. You have some powerful karma on your side. Is that what you say about the boy in your class that kissed you at graduation? If my memory is correct, he was caught with contraband right after the ceremony."
"Are you suggesting that my imaginary boyfriend runs around defending my honor?" He smiled at me pensively.
"I think he has a strict "no touch" policy. He must watch you from the shadows."
I stared down at my drink. I wondered just how much he really knew and how much was speculation.
"There is no boyfriend!"
"Oh, Rangiku, you just fascinate me. You have the pick of any man and yet I have never seen you entertain a romantic relationship, openly. Your boyfriend is very much real. Here is what I think…I think that you are seeing someone on the down low. In fact, if I were a betting kind of man, I would bet that you weren't home alone last night. That is the real reason you didn't get any sleep, isn't that right, Vice-Captain?"
I felt a shadow fall over my face. So much for changing the subject…I don't know why everyone feels they have the right to know the intimate details of my sex life. Why do I even have to have a sex life at all? If only people could mind their own business and stop worrying about who is in my bed then maybe they could entertain lovers of their own.
"Oh? And which one of these knuckle draggers had the pleasure of my company?" I looked back into his eyes and called his bluff. I would not openly admit to anything. He would have to call me out on it.
He sighed loudly before he answered me. From the look in his eyes, he seemed disappointed that I hadn't been more forthcoming with him. I did not care. I wasn't offering any information.
"None," was his simple reply. "You have your sights set on someone a little higher…on a Captain perhaps…"
His eyes dropped to his glass and my eyes followed. The hand holding his drink was tapping three fingers on his glass repeatedly. My smile disintegrated, as his insinuation slapped me in the face harder than his hand ever could. I sat up straighter and averted my eyes. Son of a bitch, he really did know.
He leaned into me and spoke directly into my ear so that his words did not fall into anyone's ears but mine.
"I only know of two women who can pull off wearing 'Spellbound'; one of Captain Kuichiki's cousins..and you. It is a bold scent that not everyone can wear. So, you'll imagine my surprise when the scent lingered in the Captains' meeting early this morning."
I leaned back to create some distance. He was a bit too close and it was making me uncomfortable. I dreaded listening to the rest of his story. It would mean that I would have to fess up to the best kept secret in the Seireitei.
Sure, people aren't stupid. I had been asked if something was going on with Gin before but I denied it. I dismissed it as speculation. I mean, according to rumor I had dated everyone in the Gotei 13 at least once. However, speculation is only a rumor unless there is proof. I had a feeling that he was going to slap me in the face with proof. I can't argue with facts.
"The most reasonable explanation was that the scent was coming from Captain Kuichiki. His cousin does practically bathe in it when she puts it on. I leaned left and alas, the scent did not linger on Captain Kuchiki. Next, I thought that the scent could be coming from your Captain. It's logical and not a completely unrealistic thing to happen. I thought maybe you got a bit overzealous with your perfume this morning. So, I leaned right and the scent wasn't on him either."
His story telling, while thorough, was killing me with anticipation. I already knew where it ended. Why couldn't we just skip the bull and get to the part where I can leave? Suddenly, I didn't feel like having fun anymore.
"I was completely baffled. At the end of the meeting I walked around and spoke to everyone. I was determined to find out where the scent was coming from, but I didn't want to go around sniffing everyone because that is just weird."
"Naturally," I agreed.
"I was just about to give up when something caught my eye…" He reached down to pull a stray hair from my sleeve and held it up for me to see. "One piece of strawberry blonde hair sitting proudly on the shoulder of your dirty…little…secret."
His deductive skills are unparalleled. A smiled erupted across his face.
"As I approached him, it was unmistakable. 'Spellbound' was all over him with a punctuation of cinnamon and nutmeg. That undertone is distinctly you, Rangiku."
The blood drained from my face. There was no mistake. I had been caught. I mulled over the situation in my head. All this time and no one had ever presented any evidence. Gin didn't make mistakes like these. He was sending me a message. Oh, he was playing dirty.
"It's true, isn't it? He asked breaking my concentration, as he brushed my arm with his hand. I raised my hands in the air as a symbol of my surrender.
"You cracked the case, Sherlock, what will you do in your spare time now?" I desperately tried to make light of the situation. The mischievous sparkle in his eyes did not return. Ugh. When will the interrogation end?
"What is the matter with you, Rangiku? Why do you always flirt with other men? Are you deliberately trying to hurt the guy? Don't you know men get jealous and possessive? I feel sorry for him now."
"You don't know him like I know him. He is incapable of being jealous because he knows I am his yo-yo, one tug and I am back in the palm of his hand. You have it twisted. He pushes me away and pretends I am nothing to him. I am just playing the part he wants me to play."
I laughed involuntarily. It was absurd to think I could ever make that man jealous or evoke any type of emotional reaction just by flirting with another man. He knew I would be there, waiting for him perpetually. It was my thing. It is what I did…I waited around for him like the good girl I am.
"Rangiku, how long have we known each other?" I watched his features soften with compassion.
"Do you really want me to admit to it?"
"Look, I want you to be open and honest with me. You need to know that I am looking out for you. I'd want everyone to know I held the company of a beautiful woman but I am sure he has his reasons. Maybe he just doesn't want the influence of others to get in the way of what you already have. I think he is being overprotective of you. We men are fiercely protective of our women. You're the most sought after woman in here. He knows that. He is play his cards close to his chest. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care. He doesn't strike me as the type that would keep you around if he were no longer interested…"
"He may have his reasons but I don't care what they are anymore. It infuriates me when he pretends that he doesn't sneak into my bed. He acts like I am nothing to him. Some days, I handle it fine and other days I let him have it. This little incident is his way of sending a message to me and I hear him loud and clear.
"Oh, Ran…What happened?"
"He is clearly too embarrassed to spend any time with me outside of the bedroom. This morning, as he was leaving, I told him to take great care to wash me out of every pore because I'd hate for him to have to suffer the embarrassment of being associated with me. I am not stupid, he doesn't make mistakes such as this. He deliberately did not wash up…" my eyes became blurry with tears. "but I don't understand why."
He looked at me with an empathetic smile. I could see a million questions swimming in his eyes. Let the verbal assault began.
"So…how did this happen? How long have you been seeing him?" He asked so casually. At first, I was a bit stunned at his question. He really had no idea about the entire truth in the matter. He was just figuring this out. He thought it was something new, how cute.
I filled him in on my back story. Boy saves girl, girl and boy live together, boy constantly abandons girl, girl waits around for boy to show up, boy and girl grow into adults who share everything from food to a bed. The boy pretends that the girl is nothing to him in the light of day…but seeks her out under the cover of night. It's like a dysfunctional fairytale.
His face remained soft and warm at the conclusion of my confession. I could tell he didn't really know what to say to me. He originally thought I was playing with fire only to ascertain that I am the flame. I cannot be burned. We had a bond that was indissoluble, even by one another.
"I see. I shouldn't be surprised. Sometimes the nerd does get the prom queen," he said flatly. "I just can't believe that Ichimaru…did all of that…but I am glad that he took care of you." I could hear the skepticism in his voice. The Gin I knew was not the Gin that everyone else knew. He hid himself well from others. He tried to hide from me but I had already seen the goodness in his heart. It was irrevocable.
"Well, believe it. It is fact."
I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely heard him say, "Do you love him?"
"With all of my heart," I said involuntarily and my fingers snapped to my lips, too late to stop the words from escaping. This conversation was derailing at an uncontrollable rate. My honesty was leaving me wide open and vulnerable. This had to end.
He put his arm around me and gave me a side bear hug.
"It's not really fair to let them think that you're available when you are clearly, not. What is going to happen when his jealousy does get the better of him, when someone tries to take you home for real? Will we have to look for bodies in the lake?"
He really didn't need to remind me. I was quite aware of the game I was playing. I didn't want to hurt anyone. The attention was addicting. I wasn't looking for love, I was looking for fun. Shunsui was correct. I never shared my bed with anyone but Gin up until that point, so no one was going to lose an arm or a life. I think they knew they could look but never touch. That was the caveat.
Gin could pull strings and control people, almost like a puppeteer. He, however, couldn't not control who I spent my time with when he refused to make himself available to me. I knew it bothered him but so what? It leveled the playing field. He couldn't control everything.
"As long as they don't touch me, he won't touch them," I uttered through my teeth, "It is quite simple."
"I just don't want to see you get hurt. Honestly, I am still in a state of shock. I suppose opposites really do attract," he joked. I gave him a half smile.
I yawned loudly, in an attempt to change the subject. "Well, since you know everything about me, you know that I didn't sleep a wink last night. I think I am going to turn in...alone." I looked him deeply in the eyes. "I would appreciate your discretion on this matter."
"Absolutely, but I must warn you about something, first. Captain Shiba has made it his mission to discover the intricate details of your love life."
"I"ll be a son-of-a…"
"Your secret is safe with me. I just thought you'd like to know."
I let out an agitated breath. Just what I needed, my captain in my personal life.
"I appreciate it. Good night, Captain." With my last word I hopped off of the stool and I began to walk away.
He called out to me from across the bar, "Hey, Ran?"
"Yes, Captain?" I turned to face him.
"Invest in a lint roller."
If You Seek Amy
I wouldn't say that I was livid but I was way beyond annoyed. As the decades flew by my secret relationship with Gin was all but extinct and getting even harder to hide on my end. My old pal, Captain Kyoraku, was right. Everyone wanted to know who was holding my attention since I refused to go out with anyone who approached me, especially, my captain.
I didn't really care. I owed no one an explanation, yet half of the Gotei 13 assumed that I did.
We had planned a tryst the night of the summer fair that year. It was the first time in years that we actually penciled in time for one another; a refreshing change to the usual silver bandit sneaking into my apartment without my prior consent (not that I minded…most of the time). I had been looking forward to it all week. While everyone was playing games and eating junk food we would have a treat of our own. There would be no one around the squad 10 barracks to catch us, not that they ever could.
At the last minute, my captain demanded my presence at the stupid summer fair event. He threw duty in my face. "A Vice-Captain should lead the squad into battle, as well as in fun." Why couldn't he just let me enjoy myself on my own terms? Captain Shiba was a real pain in my ass. He would pay for my unfulfilled frustrations.
I sauntered my way through the crowd in a red kimono with my short hair pinned messily to the back of my head. It was hot and if I didn't know any better I would have thought that I stumbled into hell. I fanned my already sweat drenched face with my red hand fan, as I approached him from behind.
"Rangiku Matsumoto, present and accounted for," I blurted out while I smacked the back of his head with my fan. "Can I go now?"
"I am happy you could make it, Rangiku. Now it's a party," he said cheerily, as he rubbed the back of his head.
Captain Shiba was standing around shooting the breeze with Kyoraku, little Toshiro and the object of my frustration. Great. Just what I need.
"Well, I had little choice in the matter seeing as I am your indentured servant and all. If I had my way, I'd be snuggled up in my bed waiting for sleep to claim me."
"I'll bet something would claim you in your bed but it wouldn't be sleep," he said loudly.
"Oh, look who has quick wit way past his "old geezer" bed time." I countered.
"I learn from the best." He smiled at me sideways. "Say, Matsumoto, there is a dancing contest. Go and see if you can win it for me and bring honor to squad ten."
"We are screwed already if you think that a silly dance contest will bring us honor…besides…it is hot as hell out here. I am not jumping around in this heat."
"No darling, it's not hot out here…it's just you." I gave him a twisted smile. "Look, don't get your panties in a twist over it. You're not the only one around here who can dance." I rolled my eyes and stifled a laugh as he did silly dance moves around me.
"You wish you could twist my panties. You won't be twisting panties any time soon with those dance moves."
"Oi. Are they always like this?" Gin interjected.
"Yes, they are." Toshiro spoke quickly.
"Say, Rangiku, speaking of twisted panties…I heard some animal sounds coming from your apartment last Friday night. Who is the lucky man who was able to pin you down? Pun intended." He was testing my patience.
"Hmm…As if. Like I would let some man stuff me and mount me on the wall like a striped bass." I stated nonchalantly as I fanned my burning face. I am glad the heat hid the blush of my embarrassment.
"I don't know, Ran. The evidence is quite compelling."
"Are you sure they weren't coming from the heifer you brought home?" He placed his hand over his heart and feigned shock.
"That hurts, Rangiku. You know, I pity the man who is caught in your claws."
"Pity or envy, Captain?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Both, they are the same." He placed both hands over his heart and looked off into the distance like a bewitched school girl.
"You should pity the women you go out with. They get so bored they fall asleep before they can even make it to second base." I let out a loud, faux snore.
"Hey, that only happened one time. She totally fell asleep during the foreplay massage. I felt gypped." He balled his fists to the sky melodramatically.
"Yeah, because you were probably doing it wrong," I accused.
"No, you women just love to trick us into doing what you want and then don't give us what we want."
"Pfft. I don't know what kind of women you hang around, but as a woman I am of the opinion that if a man rubs my back then it is only fair to scratch his." I made a scratching motion in the air slowly, palms toward me.
I heard Captain Kyoraku let out a hearty laugh. "Damn, Rangiku. That's hot."
"That's it. I'm out." Toshiro announced as he walked away.
"Look, you scared the child away." I rolled my eyes.
"I am not the one who brought this up." How is this my fault?
"So, do I need to thoroughly inspect the backs of every man in the Gotei 13 for your claw marks in order to find out who has stolen my sweet Vice Captain's affections?" He bumped me with his shoulder and fluttered his eyelashes at me.
"Oh, haven't you heard? I have slept with just about everyone in the Gotei 13, men and women." I stated as a matter-of- fact.
"Yeah, not too long ago I remember hearing a ridiculous rumor about you sleeping with…" his voice trailed off and suddenly he avoided eye contact with Gin. Captain Kyoraku took a deep. This was getting awkward.
"Oh, come on now, Captain Shiba. The suspense is killing me." My eyes closed as Gin spoke. This was bad. I had to diffuse the situation.
"Yeah, it is amazing I am not dead or knocked up. What would you ever do without me?" I said in a bubbly, upbeat tone.
"I don't believe that bull for one moment, Rangiku. For whatever reason, you want people to think you are loose but you are not. I know for a fact that you have been in a monogamous relationship for at least as long as you have been my Vice-Captain, maybe longer. I can tell when he upsets you because that is when you seek comfort in a bottle. I always know when he is good to you because your smile is genuine and your eyes twinkle even more than usual." The silence in the air, after he spoke, was deafening. I struggled to regain my bubbly demeanor.
"So…you think you've got me pegged, old man? Ha! Hardly."
I watched him, watch me, out of the corner of his eye, as I fanned the heat away from my face. I was glad that the scorching heat hid my frustration, well. His eyes flicked from me to Gin and I swear I saw the connection click in his eyes. He was silent for minutes before he spoke again.
"Well, one thing is for sure, Rangiku. Whoever he is, he is a very lucky man."