It Will Never Be Affected by Time

"Dean? Any chance you remember if my jacket made it downstairs with us?" I asked as I pulled my hair into a ponytail. I stood in front of the mirror and checked my reflection for anything that was out of place after getting changed in the early morning hours.

"Umm… I think it made it to the stairs… Honestly, I have no idea. Here's your shirt though," he replied with a smirk.

I semi-snatched the shirt from his hand, folded it and shoved it into my duffle bag. "Thanks. At least this one is still wearable," I grumbled more so to myself than to Dean.

Dean hugged my waist and kissed the back of my neck and asked, "So are you all packed up?"

I nodded as I zipped my bag and Dean took the handle in one hand and my hand in the other to lead me up stairs.

"Hey… did you bring any notes about Lucifer with you?"

"Yeah I have a few in my trunk. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

As we started up the stairs, I surveyed the every inch of the floor and the stairs for my jacket, only half paying attention to the conversation.

"Well, we know where we'll be meeting up with him, as in the city, but I was kind of hoping before we get there that we might narrow it down a bit. You know like a street or a block or a building. I don't know, just something more specific."

"Yeah, I could help with that I think," I replied but my tone still sounded distracted and distant. "Fuck… where is it?" I griped quietly as we entered the kitchen.

"What did you lose Koala Bear?" Bobby asked as he poured coffee into two mugs and passed them to Dean and me before returning his attention to the stove.

I had reclaimed my bag, so Dean held both mugs as I answered, "Umm… Poppy's bomber jacket. I don't remember where I put it last night and it has my phone in it." I could feel my tone becoming somewhat sheepish because I didn't want to remind anyone of the events they overheard the night before which caused my jacket to get misplaced in the first place.

"Don't worry Lay, it'll turn up. Just relax and have some breakfast," Dean nonchalantly commented as he drank his coffee. He joined Sam at the table and Sam swatted Dean's hand away as the older brother attempted to steal a piece of bacon from his plate.

"Yeah… I guess…" I replied slowly as they started quietly bickering at the table.

Bobby place a plate of food in front of Dean, shaking his head and hoping that it would shut both of them up. He then set down a second plate at the empty spot to Dean's left and patted my shoulder saying, "Why don't you have a little something to eat then you can keep looking. If Toby had anything urgent to tell you, he would have tried one of your numbers too."

"Thanks Bobby. I'm just going to quickly slip out to my car and grab some notes that Dean said we might need. I'll be just a second, promise."

As I walked out to my car, my eyes swept over every bit of space they could in search of my missing article of clothing.

What the hell? Where the hell did we throw it?

I quickly tossed my duffle bag into my trunk and exchanged it for a couple of notebooks.

"Are you leaving today Addy?" Castiel called from a chair on the porch.

I jumped as I turned towards him. How did I not see him there? "No Cas, but we always need to be ready to take off at a moment's, you know? Life of a hunter and all," I replied with a shrug as I walked back up the stairs.

"Oh, right Dean has mentioned that before. Here, I believe this belongs to you," he said as he held out a black vintage bomber jacket.

"I've been looking EVERYWHERE for that! Thanks Cas!" I exclaimed with a sigh of relief. I quickly slipped it on and sat down beside him.

He was staring out over the scrap yard and kept his eyes fixed ahead of him. He gaze remained fairly intense and his eyes were clouded in sadness or frustration, I couldn't quite tell.

I reached out and squeezed his knee asking, "Penny for your thoughts?"

He slowly turned his head and offered me a look of utter confusion. I instantly realized that he might not understand that expression and quickly recovered saying, "I mean, I was just wondering what's going on in that head of yours. You know, what you're thinking about so intensely."

Luckily that line of inquiry made more sense to him and he smiled softly, "I was just thinking that I'm not used to this body yet. I was also contemplating the changes I have been feeling lately and trying to anticipate the others I will be feeling soon."

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

He furrowed his brows as he nodded and then started to unbutton his shirt.

"Cas? Umm…" I swallowed uncomfortably. "When I offered… I… uhh…"

He shrugged his left shoulder out from under his layers of clothing and presented the back of it to me explaining plainly, "I have a very sharp pain emanating from right at the back here. I'm not certain I know what to do about it."

"Oh," I sighed feeling very relieved and somewhat embarrassed by my reaction. Come on Addy, mind out of the gutter! He's still 'Castiel' you idiot.

I leaned forward and held his shoulder in both of my hands so that I could get a closer look. Near the portion of his shoulder blade where the bone protruded slightly, there was a spot of blood about the size of the nail on my pinky covering something that protruded slightly out of his skin. I lightly picked at it with the nail of my index finger causing Castiel to wince under my fingertips.

"Shit… sorry. Does that hurt?"

"No, it is just very uncomfortable. Is the source of the pain of major concern?"

"Nope and I know exactly how to handle this. Come on back inside with me and I'll get some tweezers to pull the sliver out. We'll have you good as new in no time."

I stood up after gingerly pulling his shirt and jackets back over his wounded shoulder. Castiel then stood as well, but faltered slightly and I had to catch him in order to keep him from falling.

"Umm Cas? You haven't been drinking and going on any benders lately, have you?" I teased.

"No Addy, I haven't had a drink of alcohol since that night I visited you at your house. However, I am experiencing some lightheadedness and a sharp pain in my abdomen. Do you think that it is because of the sliver?"

I couldn't stop myself from laughing softly as I helped him through the door. "No… that would just be your new human body telling you that it needs nourishment. Come on into the kitchen and have some breakfast. You'll feel much better after that, I promise."

I brought him to the kitchen and tried to ignore the quizzical looks that Sam and Bobby were giving us. Not being one to be left out, Dean whipped his head and body around as I whispered to the Castiel that he should button up his shirt while he ate and I found the tweezers and first aid kit.

"Okay did I miss something Lay or do you and Cas have anything that you need to tell all of us?" He questioned with a smirk and a wiggle of his brows.

I rolled my eyes at him and ignored his comment to tell Castiel to take my intended seat and eat the food on the plate beside Dean.

I continued to ignore Dean and turned my back on him to direct my attention to our chef. "Hey Bobby, would you happen to have a pair of tweezers and some peroxide? It looks like Cas got stuck with a pretty nasty sliver in his shoulder somehow."

Dean hooked a finger through one of my belt loops as he ate and started to pull me closer to him while I was speaking with Bobby. I immediately swatted his hand and tried to step away from him.

"Sure thing Koala Bear, both are in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom."

"Thanks Bobby. Cas I'll be right back to fix you up. Keep eating and sit tight."

I took a step away but was halted by a swift tug on my jeans. "Dean!" I reprimanded, "I need to get the first aid kit. Let go of me!"

I was close enough to him now that he could wrap his arm around my waist as he pulled me closer and said, "No, you need to eat something. Cas won't bleed to death while you have breakfast. Remember what happened yesterday?"

Bobby walked over with another plate of food and as he set it down beside Sam said, "Addy, I hate to admit it, but he's right. You sit and eat; I'll run and grab the supplies for you."

"Fine… alright… I'll eat. Happy?" I directed over my shoulder at Dean.

He kissed my back and replied, "Immensely. And while you're at it, why don't you take off your jacket and stay a while?" He finished with a wink and I once again groaned and rolled my eyes at him.

During our exchange, Sam continued to eat and laughed quietly at the scene before him. I lightly punched his arm as I sat saying, "DON'T encourage him."

After I draped my jacket over my chair, I threw Dean an amused glare then refocused my attention on the man sitting across from me. In a very tender tone I asked, "How's your stomach feeling now Cas?"

"Muff beffer Addy. Fank yuf," he replied with his mouth still full of toast.

I smiled softly while holding in my laughter and replied, "No worries mate."

We then continued to eat in relative silence until I passed a notebook to Sam and another to Dean and we focused the majority of our conversation on figuring out a way to locate Lucifer. Bobby quickly returned with the first aid kit and took my seat when I shifted my uneaten food onto Dean's plate and placed my plate into the sink. My next destination was to tend to Castiel's wound, so I stepped in behind him and picked up the First Aid kit from the table.

As we continued talking about Lucifer and different location spells, I worked at removing the sizeable piece of wood from the former angel's shoulder. He winced and hissed in pain as I cleaned the wound with rubbing alcohol. I was only able to suppress my own laughter by throwing a cautioning glare at each of the Winchesters. I knew that for any of us this type of injury was negligible, but that for Castiel it was probably the equivalent of having a bullet removed from his body right now.

Once I had the wound bandaged with gauze, I lightly tapped Castiel's good shoulder saying, "There you go Cas, good as new. I don't think that it will get infected at all, but if it starts to hurt more just let us know right away so we can check on it, okay?"

He swiftly redressed and replied, "Thanks Addy, I will… although, it feels much better already."

"Alright… so it looks like Addy has a ritual for locating Lucifer and I'm pretty sure I have everything here at the house so that we can perform it too," Bobby commented while still deep in thought. He remained in my seat and before I knew it, Dean had wrapped his arm around me and pulled me onto his lap so that I could be included in the conversation. He was severely taking advantage of the fact that Bobby only had four chairs that would fit around his kitchen table while we went over all of the logistics of the trip and the performance of the ritual.

"Cas… umm would he have any way of knowing that we're attempting to find him?" I asked feeling very uncomfortable talking about all of this while Dean was stroking my inner thigh under the table. I moved his hand a couple of times, but gave up after my third failed attempt to get him to stop.

Bobby handed Castiel the notebook so that he could read the ritual and get a better idea of what it entailed. After reading it over he asked, "Is this the exact wording?"

"Yep. I copied it out myself word for word," I replied as lightly as I could while gripping Dean's hand tightly as he grabbed for the zipper on my jeans.

"If that is true, then no… we should be able to perform it undetected."

Sam and I locked eyes, sighed audibly and shared a warm smile. "Well Bobby, let's start gathering up all of the ingredients," Sam finally said while taking the book from Castiel.

Sam nearly sprinted from his seat and then Castiel and Bobby followed the younger male into the study. Once they were out of the room, I jumped off Dean's lap and pulled the zipper of my fly closed at lightning speed. Before he could stand up or say anything, I landed a hard punch into his shoulder (thankfully in the same location that I had punched him the day before, so I knew it would hurt him a lot more than a punch normally would).

"OW! Lay, what the hell?"

"Me what the hell? I should be asking you that!" I retorted in a hushed tone. "Dean, you can't do that with them here while we're talking about Lucifer and the fucking Apocalypse!" I continued as I rooted through my jacket for my phone in order to get some distance between us before I punched him again.

He was still sulking and rubbing his arm dramatically when he responded, "I was just trying to keep things loose, you know like your mom used to. (I shot him a stern "Come On" look to demonstrate that that excuse wouldn't work, so he tried another tactic.) God… when did you learn to punch so hard? And aim so well? You know… you're going to owe me now because I'm going to have one mother of a bruise… Lay… Hellooo, Laaaay… Hey, it's no fun teasing you if you don't respond."

I was still staring at my phone as I absentmindedly replied with a wave of my hand, "Yeah, yeah… bruise… owe… pie…"

"Lay? Are you alright?" He asked worriedly as he jumped up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

When he saw my hands shaking, he lifted them so that he could get a better look at the display screen to read the message that I had just completed reading. After he saw the phrase "MOM HOSPITAL" from 'TOBY MOBILE', he caught me as my knees gave out then helped me to a chair.

He sat beside me and held my hand softly asking, "When did he send that to you?"

"Last night," I choked out as tears of guilt and frustration threatened to overtake me. "Oh… God, Dean… what if… oh God… and here we were just… oh God… what if…"

He pulled me into a side hug, kissed my temple and rubbed my arm. "Shh, don't blame yourself… we don't know how bad it is yet. Shh… why don't we call and find out?"

"Hey, you guys coming to help or what?" Sam returned to the kitchen asking in a loud, overly cheerful tone.

Dean threw his index finger up to his lips to silence his younger brother while I sat on hold for the hospital ward where Maureen had been transferred to during the early morning hours.

"Dubuque County Hospital ICU."

"Hey Frankie…"

"Oh Addy! That goodness he did call you!"

"Umm… no, actually… uhh Toby texted me, but he didn't give me any details. Please Frankie; total honesty… how bad is it?"

She seemed to lower her voice for some reason, but she didn't explain why, as she replied, "It's bad. I'm so sorry, but it looks like her body is rejecting the transplant… They don't really know how much longer she'll be able to hold on… But she is…"

I pulled my phone away from my ear while I took in a breath to keep from breaking down so badly that I wouldn't be able to function. Dean was able to hear most of the conversation and rubbed my back and kissed my shoulder to reassure me. As I placed my phone to my ear again, I took in a long cleansing breath.

"Are they both there?"

"Yeah, Bill and Toby are here. Bill asked us not to call you because he didn't want to bother you while you were at work or something? I didn't know that you were out of town for work."

"Umm… yeah it's just some free-lance stuff… umm but I'll head home right away. Frankie? No matter what Bill says, please… PLEASE have someone call me if things look like they are getting worse, okay?"

"Of course Addy. I have your number on the call display here so I'll make sure I write it on her chart and tell everyone here. I really did want to call you but Bill refused to give any of us your number."

"That's okay, I don't blame you. Thanks, I'll be there as soon as I can."

I hit the "End Call" button and let my phone fall haphazardly onto the table. I knew that all pretenses of my remaining strong were gone, so I thrust my face into Dean's chest and let my tears flow freely.

"Shh… Lay… Shh… Just let it out," he coached softly as he rubbed my back vigorously.

Sam came over and I felt one of his strong, reassuring hands join Dean's on my back.

"We got it!" Castiel announced jubilantly from the doorway. As soon as he saw the scene that was playing out in the kitchen, he called over his shoulder, "Bobby, we're needed in the kitchen" in his more familiar solemn monotone.

Bobby quickly joined us and they sat on the opposite side of the table, unsure what to say or how to proceed. Their reaction was mostly due to the fact that they had no idea what the reason was for my current emotional state.

"Lay?" Dean whispered into my ear. "What did Frankie have to say?"

I leaned back and looked at the four sets of concerned comforting eyes before me to help me regain my composure. When I wiped my face on my sleeve, Castiel produced a box of Kleenex. I pulled out a couple, blew my nose and took a moment to straighten myself out so that I could speak.

"It's Maureen… obviously…" I started with a shaky voice. "She's… her body's rejecting her transplant and… and she might not make it. Bill told everyone not to cal me… I guess Toby snuck in the text to me… I… I have to get back… I just… I have to."

"Of course you do," Bobby agreed tenderly. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"No… not unless you've got a spare heart hanging around… Sorry, that was a bad joke… I honestly don't think there's anything any of us can do now. She's comfortable, so I just need to be there. But thanks for offering Bobby, I appreciate it. Bill and I have all of the arrangements for her… I mean, we took care of everything during her last stint in the hospital. I'm hoping that's why he told them not to call me…"

Castiel abruptly got up, heaved an angry, defeated sigh and punched the door frame furiously as he exited the room.

"What's his problem?" Sam asked very innocently.

I held one of his hands and replied in an amazingly (and surprisingly) serene tone, "He isn't able to do anything to help now that he's human, so he's probably frustrated about that. Let me go and talk with him quickly before we do anything else."

They all nodded, Dean leaned over and kissed my cheek and then Sam put out his hand to help me to my feet. I quickly blew my nose again and took in a deep breath as I stepped towards the door.

I found Castiel seated on a chair by Bobby's desk with his head bowed with his back facing the doorway. I thought that he might be deep in prayer, so I quietly pulled up a chair beside him and sat down with the intention of giving him that time alone. Once I was settled, I noticed that he wasn't praying, but instead his eyes were laser focused on the knuckles of his right hand.

"Castiel!" I shrieked in surprise as I instinctively grabbed his hand in both of mine to examine it more closely. "Oh Cas…" I couldn't say much else because as soon as I saw the blood trickling from the cuts between each knuckle, I knew that he must have been feeling a lot of pain and I wanted to help alleviate any of it as soon as it was humanly possible.

I dropped his hand, with a little too much force, and ran back into the kitchen to retrieve the First Aid kit. All three of the other males were deep in conversation, but I didn't stop long enough to explain the new predicament before returning to the study. Castiel was once again hold his right hand in his left, staring at it as if it wasn't connected to him and that he didn't understand what was going on with it. When I reclaimed the injured hand, he stared at me silently, astonished that I was tending to his wound so quickly.

"Oh Castiel… you're human now, so you can't go around punching door frames when your frustrated… oh Buddy this must hurt so much… I'll fix you up as fast as I can," I explained in a distinct loving, motherly tone. I quickly cleaned up the blood and discovered that there were only two small cuts that I had to deal with and was able to easily tape them up. After I bandaged his hand, I gently guided it up to my lips and placed a soft kiss on each of his wounds.

He finally looked over at me and whispered, "I'm sorry Addy. I'm useless."

I cupped his face in my hand and gently stroked his cheek with my thumb as I replied, "No Buddy, you're not useless, but your role has changed. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of this during… well the Apocalypse, but you're still a part of the team as much as any of us are." Suddenly I realized that I was talking a millennia's old angel in the same tone that I had consoled Toby on so many occasions. I would have changed the way I was speaking to him, but it appeared to be working, so I went with it.

"But I can't help and heal Maureen," he quietly complained.

"That's alright; it's not your job to do. It just means that this is what is meant to be. I know Maureen and she wouldn't want any of us to blame ourselves for what is happening to her body because she believes that everything happens for a reason. We can't control that so instead we need to focus on the task at hand, okay?"

He gently nodded and then I held both of his hands and continued, "But I'm also going to need your help with something."

"My help?" He questioned sounding like I had mistaken him for someone else. "What do you need my help with Addy?"

"I have to go home to help take care of Toby and Bill, so I'll need someone to watch out for the guys while I'm gone," I elaborated.

"I don't know how I would be able to help with that now," he responded dejectedly as he cast his eyes down to his feet.

Seeing his genuine sadness made my desire to comfort him kick into overdrive. I pulled him into a tight hug, kissed his cheek then held his face in my hands as I instructed, "Castiel, you'll do what you've always done, angel or not… you'll be the voice of reason during all of this insanity. Whether or not we wanted to hear it, you always told us the truth and that's really all you need to keep on doing. You know how to fight as well as any of us, so when the time comes you'll be able to back up just as well as Bobby or I can be for the guys."

"I think I can do that," he replied just barely over a whisper, still sounding uncertain.

I kissed his cheek again and firmly stated, "I know you can. Now come on back to the kitchen because I have to get going soon and I want to make sure that you guys have everything sorted out before I go."

After we both stood up, we wrapped our arms around each other tightly. I rubbed his back and tried to comfort him saying, "Everything is going to be okay. You just have to have faith Cas."

I felt him shake in my arms as he laughed then said, "I should be the one saying that to you."

"Well maybe you've rubbed off on me," I teased as I took his hand and led him to the kitchen. "And by that I mean you've helped influence how I see the world."

Once we entered the other room, we once again met the three hunters who were still seated at the table. Bobby was the first to stand up and then he wrapped me in a huge bear hug.

"You drive safe now and give my best to the family, okay sweetheart?"

"Yes sir I will. You keep these guys in line while I'm gone," I replied into his shoulder. Then I moved my face flush to his ear and pleaded in a quieter tone, "Please bring him back to me."

He held my face in both of his hands, started to talk, but stayed silent and smiled sadly then nodded as his acceptance of that responsibility.

I then turned to the Winchesters to say what could possibly be my final goodbye. I took a step towards Sam to speak with him first. After giving each other a bone crushing hug, I pulled his face down to mine. I looked into his eyes for a moment then moved my lips to his ear.

"I remember everything I said to you last night and I'll do my best to keep all of my promises to you. We all love you so much Sam, please don't ever forget that, no matter what happens we will always keep you in our hearts."

He leaned back and smiled before pulling me into another tight hug, picking me up off the ground in the process. "I will Addy, I will. Give my love to my nephew."

I shuddered softly and then he put me down. I bit my bottom lip and then squeaked out, "Of course."

Before I could turn away, he leaned down and kissed my cheek then said, "Take care of yourself too."

"I will," I replied simply before sharing another sad smile with him. I wanted to say so many other things to him, but what else could you say to the man you knew was going to sacrifice himself so that the rest of us could live our lives as we chose to?

He moved over by Castiel and Bobby then quietly said to them, "May we should give them a moment alone."

They both remained mute and nodded, waved at me and silently exited behind the taller man. Dean was holding my jacket and helped me into it. As I fastened the buttons, he wrapped his arms around me and put his chin on my shoulder. I leaned my head into him and rested it on his chest as we both took in a deep breath.

"Would you walk me out to my car?" I asked as I took his hand in mine and stepped towards the door.

"Of course," he answered as he picked up my notebooks in his free hand and took the lead on the pathway to the back porch.

At the car he motion to hand me the notebooks and I pushed then gently away shaking my head as I softly explained, "No Dean you keep them just in case you need the information once you get there. I still have all of the books at home, so I don't really need them."

Dean didn't offer any protests and he placed them on the trunk before pinning me against my GTO in a passionate kiss. To lessen the height difference between us, Dean lifted me onto the trunk knocking the notebooks to the ground. I desperately wanted to keep him as close to me as physically possible, so I wrapped my legs around him and shifted closer to the edge.

"Dean, I'm sorry I can't be there with you…" I managed to say through my pants for breath as he kissed my neck.

He stopped and placed his index finger on my lips. "Shh… don't worry about that. I'm just sorry I can't go home with you and be there for you with everything that's going on."

I leaned in and kissed him while laughing lightly. "I love you Dean and I always want you to keep that in mind, no matter where you are or what you are doing. Even when I'm at the hospital, call me if you need to talk okay?"

"I love you too Lay, but you need to focus on Maureen and Toby and Bill right now. We'll take care of Lucifer, so don't worry yourself about that," he explained before placing another soft kiss on my lips.

I pulled him in close to me and nuzzled my face into his neck while loosening my legs' grip around his waist. We stayed in each other arms, completely motionless so that we could savor the moment until Dean felt my tears moistening the fabric on his shoulder.

He delicately pushed me back, brushed the tears from under both of my eyes and started to console me saying, "Lay, please don't cry…"

I shook my head and smiled sadly. "Life of a hunter, right?"

He stared at me with confusion overtaking his worried face.

"We can never get too comfortable before the next challenge walks up and punches us in the face is all I meant. Be safe and just remind Sam how much we love him. That's going to be the best way for you guys to get through this."

"I'll try Lay…" he started to reply until a lump formed in his throat and ceased his ability to speak.

I kissed him one last time and fastened my new necklace around his neck while I distracted him with my embrace.

"Lay? What?" He tried to question as he picked up the medallion from his chest.

I placed my hand over his so we were both holding the medallion close to his heart.

"When it's all over, bring it back to me."