Turns out I'm on a roll… Hope it's enjoyable.
Not mine, don't sue.
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Raising Harry Part Eight.
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Dear Remus,
I'm feeling a lot better since your visit. Even if it has only been a few minutes since you left. It means a lot knowing that you are here, that I'm not alone. Merlin, I sound like a bloody girl. And a little like my old self, too, judging by that last sentence. I know how busy you are with little Harry but if you can get here again sometime soon, I would like that very much. I'm not sure I'm up for seeing Harry yet, though. You bring back so many things, feelings and memories I thought I had lost forever. And that's great, but I fear that seeing Harry in the flesh would perhaps knock me for six, and I don't want to frighten the midget.
I just remembered that Lily hated it when I called him that. I'll probably keep doing it now.
Until next time,
Your friend,
Sirius.
P.S- While I'm not ready for the midget, a photograph of you two would be great. It'll remind me, when the night seems to close in, that I'm not alone.
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Dear Sirius,
I hope you are still feeling as happy as you were the last time I saw you. As you requested I have enclosed a photograph, or twelve, for you. Harry has also been drawing some pictures for you. Just a few. I hope they make you happy. I'll see you soon, I hope.
Your friend,
Remus.
P.S- Make sure you give the owl a treat, I think it was nearly reduced to tears when it saw the size of the package we had to send.
P.P.S- Don't use your knowledge of permanent sticking charms to decorate your room. I think Tom would be less than impressed.
Sirius sat cross-legged on his bed, the multitude of paper spread all around him, he started to look through the pile. There were brightly coloured cirles he took to be faces on one page, some things he assumed were flowers on another, the third was a square with two spikes protruding from it 'A Hippogriff' Remus' neat handwriting explained. Sirius smiled. In the top right hand corner of each picture were two circles that seemed to be faces. Sirius made a mental note to ask Remus what they were when they next met. He sifted through a few more of the pictures, smiling at each and putting them in a neat pile until he came to the photographs. The first was Harry and a Hippogriff toy. The boy was laughing and waving. He looked just like James, only his eyes were Lily's. Sirius stared at it for a long time, trying to relearn the boy's features. How had he gotten so big? Eventually he placed it aside and looked at the others. The next was Harry drawing the picture marked 'Hippogriff', the little boys tongue was poking out of the side of his mouth as he looked from the page to the hippogriff, concentrating on the right shape, Remus must have said something off camera because the boy looked up and said something. The next few were Harry doing normal, everyday things. Eating his breakfast, having a story read to him before bedtime, even one of the boy asleep. Sirius smiled. The last few were taken outside, Remus and Harry were playing in the first few, running around the garden playing tag. Remus flying Harry as though he were an aeroplane, the boy's arms spread wide, a grin on his face. A game of hide and seek, a giggling Harry, his legs poking out from beneath a bush, his laughing face visible as Remus pretended that he couldn't find the boy. The last few were of Remus and Harry gardening.
The final one was Remus and Harry standing in front of the camera, Harry on Remus' hip. Harry was talking to Remus, they were both waving. Harry whispered and Remus nodded and the boy began blowing kisses to the camera. Sirius' face was streaked with tears, but for the first time in a long time they were born from joy.
With a shaking hand Sirius sorted out the photographs, organising them in chronological order, so he could look at them as though he were watching a full day.
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Dear Remus,
Thank you so much for the fantastic photographs. Every time I look at them I feel a little more real. In Azkaban, well, it's easy to get confused, you sometimes wonder if you ever really existed outside of that place at all… You think perhaps you're in hell or something. But when I feel that niggling doubt, that creeping fear, I look at the pictures and I can imagine that I am there with you and Harry. Living.
It's been an interesting week, I even managed to venture out into Diagon Alley yesterday. I didn't disguise myself, and at first I almost ran back inside, all of the eyes on me, the vastness of the world, it seemed to scream at me. But I had a secret weapon, I had a picture of you and Harry in my pocket. Instead of flying back into my room, I took it out saw the people I love and was able to keep going. Florian Fortescue was kind enough to give me a free ice cream. I had forgotten that anything so delicious could exist. I am relearning every day that the world is a wonderful thing… But my nights are still a struggle. Poppy gave me a dreamless sleep potion, but I don't want to use it. I want to be strong enough to get by without it.
I'm really starting to believe that I can.
Your friend,
Sirius.
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Dear Harry,
Thank you for your lovely pictures. They are wonderful and they have made my room very colourful. I miss you very much, and I'm not sure how well you remember me, but someday soon, I would like very much to see you again. Perhaps you could show me how to draw a hippogriff?
Lots of love and sloppy, girly kisses,
Padfoot.
...
Dear Padfoot,
The page was covered in a myriad of colourful swirls and wiggly lines, Remus had translated beneath them all.
I would like to give you a drawing lesson. It would be fun. Chocolate is yummy, maybe we could have some of that when you visit. Moony has tonnes of it.
Harry.
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Dear Sirius,
I was wondering if you were up for a little outing, it's the full moon on the weekend. If you don't feel up to it I understand.
Remus.
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Remus,
I'm so glad that you allowed me to accompany you this full moon. I needed to remember what that level of freedom felt like! To remember what it's like to chase the stars and to howl at the moon. Some of my nightmares have given way to dreams. Real dreams. Strange, twisted colours and daft events and it's wonderful. Thank you.
Sirius.
P.S- I even ventured out into Muggle London yesterday. I walked around for hours, I saw a million people and a million things. I only needed to look at the picture of you and the midget once, when a lady in front of me at a café started an argument with the cashier. Turns out I'm still having trouble dealing with loud noises. I bought Harry a present. I think that if you are okay with it, I'm ready to come and see you and Harry.
Remus sat back in his chair. He ran his thin, pale fingers over the page in front of him. Sirius seemed to be returning. His Sirius. Along with him came the feelings. The quiet, reassuring, yet entirely inconvenient, buzz at the back of his head whenever he thought of his friend, the flutter his heart gave whenever an owl came with the latest letter.
Remus too, had been having dreams. Wonderful dreams, the kind of dreams that reminded him that he was still a young man.
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Sirius,
We'd love to have you around for afternoon tea, and dinner if you're up to it, this Thursday.
Remus and Harry.
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So, how will Sirius fare after this much time has passed? Will he draw a sufficiently awesome hippogriff under Harry's tutelage? Will they all get sore tummies from too much chocolate? Was the passage of time illustrated by all of this letter writing? Find out in the next thrilling instalment!