Why did he have to suffer so much? Everything hurt and he couldn't figure what caused the pain most. Was it the physical wounds or the mental strain he was continuously put through, burning his skull, circling his mind in a wave, a burst of memories, his lost time, sickness, hurt, pain, struggle for breath, struggle for life, struggle to keep himself sane...and then the comfort.

Naruto was just too confused to handle anything that came along, falling over his feet, keeping him from moving a step forward on his road to recovery. If it wasn't the nightmares then it was the worried glances.

In truth, he didn't want the pity of his friends.

No...not my comrades.

He felt no need to see them befit themselves to shape around his comfort.

Why do they bother?

He knew the true people he wants to see.

Not see in a sense...

He wanted to see the anguish.

The anguish they felt towards me?

He craved the emotions flowing over them during his capture.

Not really...

Whether they were happy, infuriated or excited didn't matter to him.

I wouldn't want to see that.

The lust they felt as the planned sick sessions.

I don't want to remember.

And what they saw from their eyes while performing THINGS to him.

I was pathetic, scared, horrified, confused, angry, sick, unsure, insecure, unprotected. All they would see was my face with so many emotions that I no longer looked like Naruto: hyperactive knucklehead ninja whom dreamed of the Hokage life and for the recognition of all.

He doesn't, honestly, want to still be Hokage.

Why wouldn't I?

They hate him, detest the very air he breaths and once they found out he is still alive then there would be no freedom from hurt...or death.

I can avoid it...I'm sure I can...

There's just no way you can escape...Naruto...

Naruto forgot where he was. A body had been holding him in a close hug as soon as his body started shaking in pure fear once again.

Somebody was comforting him, something he desperately dreamed for within that severing year gap.

Oh, it's Sasuke.

He would have chuckled, but immediately froze once he did so.

Naruto... Wasn't hugging back...nor was he smiling... Or crying...

His eye was trained onto the pale, white wall aligning the side of the door. At the corner was a child-like image of a family painted onto it. The paint was faded and cracked, decaying in value over the years of disregard and isolation. No care had been taken in preserving the art piece done by a young and fruitful boy.

Most likely created by the raven haired teen.

Sasuke changed so drastically, but Naruto never did know the family climate the Uchiha lived in. Yet, looking at the image allowed him to pick at a happy child that would smile all the time.

Is the reason I feel like this...because of loneliness?

I had no one up until I met Iruka-sensei. And, even he, hated me. At first.

Before then, though, I was shunned; an outcast to the entire village. It hurt.

Sometimes... I thought the feeling of death would be enticing.

I had tried a few times.

Once by allowing the villagers to beat me half to death...the third saved me. I was six.

I leaped from a rooftop. It was only two stories.

Another time I had placed my head in the tub. I only lasted two minutes before I went up, coughing for air.

The last time was when I was twiddling between my thoughts. The rope looked so enticing that I went as far as to placing a noose around my neck and tying it up high. I was standing on a chair and as soon as I kicked it away, I panicked. The kunai in my pocket was in case I changed my mind and chose to snap the rope. I was fifteen.

There were many other times, I'm sure, but I probably didn't realize the extent of a few minor life threatening situations.

Remembering was something I dreaded. It was sick.

Even the happy memories were even sometimes hard to recall.

"Sasuke..." His voice sounded raw and misused.

"What's wrong?" The raven's voice vibrated at his shoulder, the place in where the Uchiha's chin lay.

"I-i have something to...confess."

With that, sasuke slowly pried himself from the hug he was giving. His face became a bit concerned and all the more serious.

Naruto turned his gaze when their eyes made contact for something near a minute. The blond nervously twisted the end of his shirt. He knew what he had to do, yet he found it difficult to be able to speak out to the raven whom would surely yell at him.

"Sasuke, promise you won't yell."

"Why?"

"J-just promise already!"

"Why the hell would I promise when I don't even know-"

"I'm suicidal!"

Sasuke shut his mouth from his previous rant. His facial expression was horrified. "R-repeat..."

Don't make me say it again...

"I'm... Suicidal..."

The blond was so scared, he felt like crying. He could feel the burning sensation in his eye and his fingers slightly beginning to twitch.

"Naruto... Why the fuck didn't you tell me before or anyone for that matter?!"

"I-"

"You were sick, we could have helped you!"

"I told you not to yell..." His voice came out as a whisper and the tears began to fall from his face

Sasuke, seeing as he made the teen cry, calmed down. "When?"

"When w-what?"

"Was the last time?"

He drooped his head lower. "When I was fifteen..."

"Are you...still thinking about it?"

Am I? I'm not sure anymore.

He nodded, for he knew that sometimes the thought would continuously cross his mind.

The Uchiha frowned and turned his head from the blond. "Why would you want to kill yourself?"

"Because I get lonely in this world." Tell the truth. "I'm tired of having no one to be there for me when I get home to tell me 'welcome back' or 'I missed you' or any of that crap. Sometimes I feel so damn depressed that it's like I'm falling into a never ending pit of darkness and I can't escape."

"But what about us? We're always here for you." Sasuke couldn't believe a word the blond told him.

"Sure. You never so much as had a full blown conversation with me until this incident. And everyone else, they don't know I exist unless I'm injured. Is the only way to become visible going to be for me to be hurt where I'm nearly dead?"

"Naruto, believe me, that's not true." Dobe, you're crossing the line.

"Like hell it's not. I have to pretend, to go about with this stupid smile on my face and it's not even real. I've been alone my entire life and no one has ever been there when I really needed them. Not ever!"

You just crossed it.

"Alone? I'm riding on the same boat, bastard. Did you forget about my brother and the Uchiha massacre? Did you forget how depressed I was? Even I thought of death, but I stopped myself without having to think twice. My whole life, I thrived to kill my brother and to get revenge, but to do that I was willing to abandon everyone and seek power from Orochimaru, yet I didn't."

Sasuke placed his hand on the Uzumaki's shoulder. Almost instantly it felt like the air had become a suffocating mass. Naruto kept his head down, the tears pouring down from his sweating face and shivering form.

Sasuke continued. "I didn't leave, though. Remember, you were the one whom brought me back. The Mani reason I stayed was because of you. I knew of your loneliness and when I looked back we both turned out to be the same. I knew the pain and I didn't want to leave you in the same situation that I had been in myself."

"But-"

"Yes, Naruto. You were never alone and you never will be. What about Iruka-san and Kakshi-sensei and Hokage-sama and even Jiraiya-sama. The rookie nine and those brats that always follow you around...don't forget, Dobe."

His gaze flickered towards the raven's pitless eyes. "Do they care about me, honestly?"

"You've become someone more important than just a best friend."

Sasuke... Why was he talking like this? He never has...it's weird...

"Do you really believe that?"

He smiled, sincerely, for once in a long while. "Of course, otouto."

You know what to do! Review, please.

Arigato!