Chapter 25

Sick Cycle Carousel

"Great job, Artie," Quinn said while scribbling on a piece of paper. The two were in the student council office doing work for the glee club's fund-raising talent show.

"By the way," Artie said; "Kurt said his dad's offered to have the tarp done for the one we'll put up at the entrance on awards night. I sent the designs to the printers this morning."

"Perfect. Other posters? Signs all over town? What about those?"

"Ashley said she's got that. I'm pretty sure we're good with the local networks too. I also had the AV club set up a YouTube account. And, Rachel has sent the invitations last Friday to the other clubs."

Quinn exhaled. She smiled contently at Artie. "Everything's going smoothly, isn't it?"

He smiled back. "It sure is. We're going to Miami."

She nodded.

Artie's smile slowly faded as he thought about asking something from Quinn. There was hesitation on his face, which Quinn saw.

"What is it?" she asked, a concerned look on her face.

"C—can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Something personal," he cleared.

"Oh."

"You know what, it's okay. Forget it. I was just—"

"Go ahead."

"Wha—"

Quinn smiled. "It's okay, Artie. I don't mind."

He bowed down, stared at his lap, and picked on his nails. "This is kind of embarrassing."

He looked up at Quinn and was greeted with a patient and friendly face. "I was just wondering about you and Puck."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You can still change your mind." He grinned.

She laughed her sweet little laugh. "No, I'm good. What's your question, Mr. Larry King?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Suspenders. Right."

She shrugged.

"Okay. So, I see Puck trying to be with you. We're not best friends or anything, but I see that—we all do. I have to give props to the guy, actually. He's changed a lot after Summer was born. I know he doesn't want people finding out about how he's a better guy and all, but all of us at glee can see that he is. So, what I wanted to ask you really is… why… you're not with him."

"Just for the record, I also see what you see. Puck has been trying to be a better guy. I'm actually so proud of him for that. But, it's… complicated."

"How so?"

"I…" Quinn didn't want to just tell Artie that she thinks Puck will always have someone on the side besides her. She has trust issues with Puck, and she didn't want to enter into a relationship with him because she was afraid that he would hurt her in the end. She just couldn't risk that. She needed to maintain her focus for her little girl.

"There are…" she began again. "There are some things that we both need to work on. At least for my part, I have issues that I have to deal with first."

"But you do want to be with him, right? You care about him and all that? You love him?"

"Yes, yes, and yes. I'm just not sure I love him in that way, if you know what I mean. I love Puck because he's my friend and he's the father of my baby. But… it's complicated."

Artie pondered on this. In a way, it did make sense. "What if Puck stops trying to be with you? What if he just gives up?"

Quinn paused. To be honest, she's never thought about it. It may seem selfish and arrogant, but at the back of her mind, she always thought that Puck would always be there. "I guess," she began; "that's his choice. And, I would respect that. I would understand."

They were both silent for a moment before Quinn inquired, "Is this about Tina? Mercedes told me what happened."

Artie looked at her before dipping his head and nodding discreetly.

"I know what she's feeling; so I can understand why she did that," Quinn said in a calm tone. "We're not really different, me and her. I think we're going through the same thing."

"So then, you agree that I just respect her decision, right? Because Ashley doesn't seem to."

Quinn smiled. "Respecting her decision doesn't mean that you should stop entirely."

His brows met in between. "She said she doesn't want to be with me."

"Are you sure? Because I could've sworn Mercedes said that Tina's words were 'you guys can't be together.'"

Artie opened his mouth to retort, but he immediately closed it and tilted his head.

"Artie," Quinn said, calling his attention.

He turned to look at her.

"Answer me honestly."

He nodded.

"Do you love Tina?"

"Of course," he whispered.

Quinn shook her head. "No, I mean, if there was someone else out there who would look past your chair and would want to be with you, would you still choose to be with Tina? Do you love Tina like that?"

Tina was at her locker when Ashley came and grabbed her hand.

"Come on," Ashley said.

Tina thought she can hear a hint of excitement in the girl's voice, but she wasn't sure. She was actually scared of what Ashley would do to her. After all, they hadn't spoken since yesterday afternoon in the parking lot and that didn't end well. Tina was even considering that maybe Ashley was going to abduct her or something. The girl's mother has connections in the White House, she thought; it's not far-fetched that Ashley's got access to the Secret Service or the FBI.

The bell for fourth period rang the moment they entered the girls' bathroom. Tina saw a black-colored long gown with streaks of gold, protected in a clear garment bag hanging on the wall; and right below it was a pair of gold high heels.

"It's your costume for this afternoon's dress rehearsals!" Ashley exclaimed, a wide grin on her face.

Tina was astounded, and it wasn't just the beautiful—and obviously expensive—dress that surprised her; Ashley was speaking to her in that usual happy vibe.

Without another word, Ashley took the dress and shoved it for Tina to put on. As soon as Tina was wearing the whole ensemble, Ashley stepped back to get a full view.

"I look ridiculous," Tina groaned.

"Are you insane? You look beautiful!" Ashley exclaimed.

"I just know that I'll trip in these shoes and die."

"Walk slowly," Ashley commented nonchalantly as she went to be beside the Asian girl. "And I mean that. You're not allowed to fall because that's Roberto Cavalli on you. And, I only wore that dress once." Ashley took Tina's long hair and twirled it up, checking the reflection in the mirror as she did so.

"This is your dress? I thought we had the costumes rented."

"The others' costumes are rented. You're singing lead. You should stand out. What about a side ponytail?"

Tina sighed.

"You're right," Ashley agreed. "Side ponies are kinda lame."

"No, I didn't mean the hair. It's okay. Whatever you think would look good, let's go with that."

"Okay, well you can take it off now. Go straight to the auditorium as soon as school's out. Kurt doesn't like being rushed when he's doing his thing."

Tina giggled and nodded. After changing back into her clothes and before they could leave the bathroom, she asked Ashley, "We're good, right? I mean, you and me. We're good?"

Ashley smiled reassuringly. "I'm not angry at you. It's not in my place. Besides, you were being honest; that's commendable."

Tina smiled before she exited the bathroom to get to whatever remaining time's left of her class.

As soon as Tina was gone, Ashley took the dress and the shoes and made her way to the auditorium. She was on the hallway, a few feet from the entrance, when she heard faint music coming from inside.

If shame a had a face

I think it would kinda look like mine

If it had a home would it be my eyes

Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this

Well here we go now one more time

Ashley entered carefully, intrigued at who was singing. She clutched the dress closer to her when she saw Puck with a microphone stand in the middle of the stage and an acoustic guitar on hand. A dim spotlight focused on him, while the background was complemented with a mixture of blue, red and yellow halogen lights moving to the beat of the song. He had a drummer, a lead guitarist and a bassist backing him up.

'Cause I tried to climb your steps

I tried to chase you down

I tried to see how low

I could get down to the ground

I tried to earn my way

I tried to tame this mind

You better believe that

I had tried to be this

The rest of the auditorium was dark, and it was probably the reason why Puck didn't seem to notice Ashley walking down the aisle, getting closer towards the stage. She set the dress and shoes on one of the seats, and then herself next to the clothes. She watched Puck quietly.

So when will this end

It goes on and on

Over and over and over again

Keeps spinning around

I know that it won't stop

'Til I step down from this…

Sick cycle carousel

This is a sick cycle, yeah

Sick cycle carousel

This is a sick cycle, yeah, aahh

It was the first time Ashley had heard him sing by himself in this way. She thought it looked very befitting, the whole setup he had on stage. Puck was looking a lot like a rock star. And, more importantly, she could sense the genuineness of the performance. She believed it. She believed that he truly felt what he was singing.

So when will this end

It goes on and on

Over and over and over again

Keeps spinning around

I know that it won't stop

'Til I step down from this for good

(Sick cycle carousel, Sick cycle carousel)

From this for good

(Sick cycle carousel, Sick cycle carousel)

From this for good

Sick cycle carousel

The lights died down into darkness. Ashley clapped enthusiastically as she made a standing ovation. The house lights turned up, and Puck immediately turned to his one-person audience—a startled expression painted on his face.

"That was way awesome!" Ashley exclaimed. She whistled through her fingers.

Puck laughed. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked. Ashley was already on her way up the stage.

"Look who's talking," she said as she got closer. "And how'd you get the band here?" She turned to the members of the jazz band before he could answer and asked them to give Puck and her a minute. As they left, she asked, "Is that Ben up there?"

"No, that's Jack."

"Oh man, he's really good. The lights were awesome. You're a genius, Jack!"

Jack's appreciation sounded off in the entire theater as he spoke through the microphone in the control room. He then excused himself from Puck saying that he was getting something to eat with the band.

"Don't they have classes right now?"

"Eh," he shrugged.

"Oh, you're just bad, aren't you?" she teased.

He smirked. "What about you? I'm pretty sure this is not a free hour for you."

"I thought that they might deliver the costumes earlier. Just making sure someone was here to receive them."

Puck took the guitar strap from his body and placed it with the other instruments. As he did so, Ashley said, "You were a rock star up here!"

He coughed a laugh and thanked her. He signaled for them to get off the stage and sit on the chairs in the audience. "You should do that on the talent show," she suggested as she followed behind him.

"I don't think so," he said as he sat on one of the seats.

"Why not?" Ashley knelt on the seat in front of Puck, her arm resting on its back rest. "I think you'll get a lot of votes for that."

He merely smiled and shook his head.

Ashley's excitement melted away as she sensed something was amiss. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Puck sighed. Boy, am I that obvious now? The only other person who ever noticed out right that something's wrong with me was Rachel, now Ashley too? This sucks. I must be losing it.

"You wanna let me in on the conversation happening in your head?"

He looked up at her. She was smiling; and patiently awaiting his response.

"It's about Quinn, isn't it?" she guessed.

"Why would you think that?"

"I saw you perform. I listened to the words of your song. I felt like the whole thing had hit home for you."

"Guess I don't really have much to tell you then."

She pressed her lips and nodded.

Puck looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Go ahead. I know you wanna say something."

"There's this saying that goes something like, 'we stare way too intently for one door to open that we miss many others that already have'. Corollary to that, I think you look at Quinn way too much that you don't notice other girls looking at you."

Puck shook his head. "They don't like me in the way you think. I'm not Finn. I'm not the kind of guy you'd be proud to introduce to your parents."

"I can't believe you're selling yourself this short! Tch! There is someone out there looking at you the way you're looking at Quinn. Hell, you probably see that girl everyday and you don't even know it's her."

He stared at her, considering what she said; and then shrugged.

She sighed as she slumped down her seat.

A/N: I know y'all hate me now. I'm sorry. Haven't had much inspiration to write. :(

EmoGleek - I have to be honest, too. I love your candidness! I literally laughed reading your comment about Ashley. I mean, not 'cause your comment was funny, but because I'm actually happy to get such an emotional reaction. I love it! And, I love you for it! Seriously, I'm almost scared for Ashley now—it's a good thing she's not real. :D

hammerathogwarts – Thank you for such an amazing insight on my story! I know I say this a lot (shout out to the others who've read my comment replies), but I really appreciate criticisms about Ashley. It helps me make her better. And I appreciate that you tell me also how you like the storyline. It makes me want to keep on writing. :)

Much love to Lady Isabelle Black, VoiceInMyHead, & as always, xx-cristieee-xx!

Next Chapter: How To Touch A Girl