Disclaimer: I do not own Jak and Daxter

Chapter Twenty-Five

For LeiaOrganicSolo

Don't be ashamed of who you are and don't be afraid to stand your ground.

Cause at the end, end of the day,

You're one step closer to finding your way,

And although you might think you're out of time,

You're gonna be fine.

Cause at the end, end of the day,

You're one step closer,

To finding your way,

And although you might think you're out of time,

You're gonna be fine.

~ Gonna Be Fine, Amy Studt, False Smiles

"Do you think we're ever going to find him?" Tess asked in the darkness.

Nik looked out the window and thought of other things for a while before Tess mentioned his brother again. He gulped and closed his eyes to hold back the tears. If only he could have a moment where he didn't think about his brother. He knew now not to think of his sister since it was unlikely that they were going to see one another again, so there was no point in worrying about her. He wasn't not ever going to think of her again, not wonder what she was doing, whether she had a child or not. He was just going to accept the fact now that she could make her own way in the world. It wasn't that he didn't care it was just that it had been a couple of weeks now since they last saw him at it got to the point when he was thinking that he was in the corner again sometimes and when he would turn around he would find that it was just a trick of the light or a shadow. He was beginning to have nightmares about him if he ever actually got around to sleeping. He had had enough hours of thinking about his brother that he felt that he had wasted away the hours and the minutes and the seconds enough for a while. He had enough of wondering what his brother was doing, where he was or whether he was alright. He was only fourteen for goodness sake. Now that Tess had brought it back to his mind he was sure to anticipate another restless night. He had enough restless nights for the work that he knew he had before him.

"The city's only so big." He replied with a tired smile.

She returned the smile but it soon faltered a little and then disappeared into the night. She was feeling a little guilty at the moment considering the other little problem the Underground were straining themselves under. New management thought it wasn't much of an issue but that was because they weren't that well acquainted with Oz or Annie. They thought they needed to spend more of their time on fighting the Baron (which was true) and should leave the lost person's be. Something which none of them were going to do. Oz, Nik and Aella were like brothers and sister to Tess. Her mother more or less adopted them right on the spot so she felt like family to them and they were the kind of family who would never let them be just because there were other, bigger things on their plates. Family always came first. No time or energy should be wasted on trying to find some lost lambs. Nik agreed with this kind of philosophy, most of the time but because this involved his family it meant that there was going to be no competition in which of his priorities came first.

She knew there was something else on his mind as well. She could see it in his eyes. It was the same look her mother used to have when she wondered whether Duke was going to come back home after a night shift. Shortly after Oz's abrupt departure Tess told them about Annie. She knew that they needed to know even if it was going to get her into trouble when she got back. When she was finished Aella turned to Nik and told him that she would keep an eye out for him on her way back to Spargus. Nik nodded and told her he would keep a look out if she returned. Aella looked more worried than Nik but everyone knew. Everyone knew what could be possibly going through that busy mind of his. Everyone could tell from Nik's reaction that there was more than general concern for Annie which would motivate him into finding him. Tess wasn't exactly an adult yet but with what she had been through she could say that she almost pretty much qualified as one and she could see that there was something else which was bothering Nik about all this, or more accurately she knew what was bothering him. He was probably thinking about all those moments when he could have told her. He was probably thinking about why he never said anything. Regret, if anything was the only emotion which he was wasting his energy on. He probably thought that he didn't have another chance to tell her all these things.

"When did you realise?" She asked quietly.

He blinked his eyes at her with question mark on the top of his forehead. "Sorry?"

She giggled. "When did you know that you loved her?"

He tried to laugh it off and turned away. "Tess."

"When?" She demanded.

He was quiet for a long time after this. She knew it was difficult for him to be like this. He wasn't exactly the emotional one in the family. He never had visions to worry about or the girl whose mother died. A woman who was a real mother at that. He was never really much of a confused, frustrated teenager like Oz. He never had an excuse to be a little dysfunctional or angsty.

"I suppose it was always there but...With every day that passed, with every second that I put it off it got worse and now...I guess I'm paying the price."

~ (***) ~

She tapped her shoes against the wall as she waited for him. She looked up at the sky and sighed. It was cold when it was supposed to be summer and they were surrounded by deserts. Then again she was wise enough to be able to predict a long winter. She didn't have to be a soothsayer to know this. She could remember when she watched some KG soldiers blind the poor old woman and made it so that she could never speak again. In spite of this, she had heard that she had found other ways of being able to speak to others about what she could foresee. She was hoping that another particular seer was doing alright. Although another rumour was circling about the city that Aella had finally left. It was common knowledge that she had stayed on and was the leader of the Underground but the rumour was beginning to turn again and with Torn sending a message about wanting to see her and with 'some interesting news' it only meant one thing. It had been a while since she had seen Torn and she wanted to see how he was getting on. She at least wanted to know whether he was still alive or still had his teeth. With the scraps that he used to get into during training she saw the kind of trouble that he liked to get himself into let alone the ones which he suddenly found himself in.

Although thinking about it now this meeting was probably more about her rather than him. He was going to be more concerned about how she was getting on since her mother's death than how much she was going to be worrying about him. It was strange that it had only be a few weeks, probably a couple of months if she thought about it since she threw herself into the streets and crowds of Haven City. Just seeing the street painted with her blood was enough for her to have nightmares for weeks and she was a grown adult now. But really it was like her mother had two deaths. She had died long ago and now she had finally been able to give herself the second death. Ashelin would be lying if she said that she wasn't hoping for that second death as well. The death which would finally give her peace, the one where she could finally rest for an eternal sleep. All her mother needed was being able to sleep again and she couldn't really do that unless she or the Baron was out of this world. She heard a sound and jumped to her feet and put her hand on her gun in case it was an unwelcome guest to her reunion but when she heard the familiar chuckle she put her hand off her gun and turned away. Torn probably got a kick out of the fact that he could startle her so easily. She was always such a tough girl. Although she had heard since her mother's death she had become an even tougher girl and she had to admit that wasn't really a far cry from the truth.

"Hey you." He greeted with a grin on his face.

"Not dead yet then?"

"Not quite. So...I joined the Underground."

She chuckled. "Should you be telling me this? I might report that..."

He smiled contemplatively. "I suppose I like my chances."

"What was the other news you wanted to tell me. I know it isn't just about you joining the Underground. That's a given."

"Well I suppose you heard that Aella Auroalis left the city."

Her smile left her face and turned away. "So it is true..."

"You look disappointed."

She shrugged her shoulders. "She's the only reason why I became a Krimson Guard. My mother told me to be strong the future. She always told me I have to be brave for the future we were going to have. My father always wanted a son but my mother always had difficulty having children so he knew that I was his only chance for a son and she kind of blew it so...I suppose he made the best with what he had...I suppose he was kind of glad that I wanted to join the Krimson Guard but when I met her that one time...She was the only person who really told me that I could do anything I wanted. I guess...I just wanted to have that chance of thanking her for that before she left."

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned round to find Torn looking down at her. "Well you never know...If the future turns out for the better you might see her again one day..."

~ (***) ~

She should have expected this really, to be called to his chambers. She shook all over as she walked up to the doors. She glanced in the direction of the other guards who spotted her in her bright red dress. It was made of the same thin material as the other dress she wore and was a little off the shoulders. Her blonde hair was draped down her shoulder which contrasted dramatically with her golden skin and bright attire. She supposed she ought to start making an effort now all considering. She took in a deep breath and waited patiently for the doors to open. When she heard the doors creak she stepped throw and the light from the flaming torches glowed against her skin and the sweet desert air hit her so dramatically it made her feel a little light headed. It was only going to be a matter of time for him to forgive her and let her back into his circle. She knew that the only remedy for this predicament was going to be time. Patience wasn't one of the virtues either of them had so this was going to be a difficult ride; nevertheless she knew it was going to be one that both of them would survive. Both of them had been able to struggle through worse than this. If he wasn't going to return things to as they were before, she was at least sure that this was just going to be the beginning of him being able to trust her again. She was pretty sure at this point that he was at least going to give her that.

"You wanted to see me."

He raised an eyebrow at her dress and turned away. She gulped and waited for him to be finished. She knew at this point she was still a subject and nowhere near the equal to him that she once was, where they could speak and joke with one another as if they were old friends. He put down whatever he was reading and in the usual pacing position he put his hands behind his back and stepped down from the throne until they were half a foot away from one another. The more closer he got the more she realised how much these four years had actually aged him. She almost had a mind to reached out and smooth away those wrinkles on his face. Her heart was beating in her chest so quickly she felt like it was going at the speed of a speed racer engine. She could feel his hot breath on her face. She could feel that fiery, passionate kiss on her lips once again. She was tempted to raise her hand to her lips to check whether it was the shadow of the kiss hovering there or whether it was actually him. The same intent gaze in his eyes which made her feel like she was naked. She could almost feel as if her dress was being slipped down her arms, back and legs. She felt hot and uncontrollable sensations in places which she had long forgotten.

"That dress suits you." He said finally.

He tilted his head and she frowned. After a long pause they both burst out laughing. "Thank you. So...You wanted to see me?"

He nodded curtly still with the same smile hovering over his lips. "I was just...I was looking through the things addressing the city and my people and I've been thinking of solutions to the problems we're experiencing but all I can think about is...Why you came back."

She blinked. "I told you I was only-"

"Yes, but I think there's more to that than what you told me when you came back. You could have stayed but you didn't."

She fiddled with her fingers and was tempted to bite her nails like a school girl but she stopped herself.

"Alright. I was going to come back here...One day. But when I returned to the city, Duke and Shayna died."

Damas knew who they were and his eyes filled with empathised sadness and nodded. "I am sorry, Aella."

"I...I realised that was no longer the place for me. I had something to lose but I only realised when I lost it. I wanted to find something else to fight for...Otherwise what's the point in fighting for if not for some cause? What's the point in living when you have nothing to live for?" She paused and saw that Damas was going to quietly sit there until she was finished rather than butt in with comical comments. "I suppose I began to see why you left. I...It wasn't my home any more. I had no other reason other than...I had no reason to fight for it any more."

"What was the reason? You were about to say the reason but you stopped." She turned to him with a scared expression on her face. "What? Is it something I don't want to hear?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No. It's something I'm afraid to tell you."