Chapter 25: Sitting and Waiting

Kate walked behind Jack, three or four steps behind. She only comprehended bits and pieces of what the doctor was telling Jack. Once she had heard the word terminal, she didn't need to here more.

The plane ride hadn't been as bad as she thought. For most of it she felt numb; numb and scared. She had clung to Jack the entire time. She clung to his arm resting her head on his shoulder. He never complained once and just let her cry, sleep, and sigh. She knew if her thoughts had actually been on the flight she would have had a panic attack, but no... she had just been one big emotional breakdown.

"The child has developed and infection around her heart, it started on the edges, arteries and veins mostly and is now spreading towards her heart. Her valve has just been infected. The way their infection is moving, I can't give her more then a week. The AIDS had made this practically impossible for her to beat. If she was a healthy child we could perform a heart transplant, but obviously we cannot."

Kate wanted to punch the doctor. He talked so casually to Jack. Jack kept looking back at her as if he was expecting her to pass out. Didn't this doctor realize that Jack and Kate were practically Sam's parents? They were all she had. She wanted to scream and yell in anger. But she couldn't… for now she had to stay strong.

"Kate! Jack!" Sicily called rounding the corner. The doctor walked away as they met up with Sicily. She looked over at Jack and then at Kate.

"Room 237," she told Kate.

Kate looked over at Jack; he nodded telling her to go on without him. Kate couldn't do this alone. She couldn't go into that room and see her little girl hooked up to all those machines. It wasn't fair.

Kate walked into the room and found it completely bare. There were no flowers or 'Get Well Soon' balloons. There was just a little girl curled up in huge bed with a blue blanket. She had several wires hooked to her chest, there seemed to be IVs hooked up to every part of her. The room was dark and the only sound that was made came from the machines. They beep in rhythm. Kate took another step forward. On the table next to the bed was the Harry Potter book Kate had begun reading to her. They had made it to the end of the series.

"Sam?" Kate whispered gently as she sat down in the chair next to the bed. Sam moved in her bed, next thing Kate knew the little girl was looking at her a bright smile on her face.

"What took you so long?" she joked. She tried to laugh, but she coughed and coughed. Tears of pain filled her eyes. She wanted Kate to look away. She didn't want to seem so weak to her. "How is the baby?"

"Fine," Kate said. She had told Sam about her pregnancy Christmas Day. She had been the second person to find out… she had even known before Claire. Kate had opened her mouth to ask Sam how she was. But what would she say? She had no words.

"I am sorry I am sick," Sam said quickly. Kate looked at her and then reached for her hand. She placed her atop Sam's. Sam held her hand for dear life. "I just can't fight anymore. I am so tired."

"Baby don't apologize," Kate said leaning forward in her chair. She brushed the auburn hair out of Sam's face. "I am so proud of you for fighting this long. I am going to be here for you… I won't leave you."

"You will be the first," Sam said struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Sleep," said Kate in a motherly voice. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Sam was sleeping soundly now. Kate had worried that she would wake the little girl if she moved around too much. But she didn't. Even once and a while she would look over to make sure she was still sleeping even though she knew if she wasn't one of the machines would go off. Kate didn't know what to do. She had tried sleeping on the couch across from the bed. But fear wouldn't let her it.

Jack poked his head into the room. Kate looked over at him and then ran into his arms. She felt calm as he wrapped his arms around him. Here she felt as if nothing was wrong in the world. As if Jack could save her… could stop anything bad from happening.

"I have been talking to ever cardiologist I know," he told her as they sat down together. "And babe, there is nothing we can do."

"Nothing?" asked Kate. She knew that if Jack told her there was nothing then there really was anything. This was the end. She would have to try and accept that. "So we just have to sit here… and wait?"

"Yes," Jack said delicately. He watched as Kate's heart broke and the tears filled her eyes.

"Will you stay with me?" Kate asked. "I don't want to leave the hospital."

"We have our suitcases in the car," Jack told her, "And of course I will stay."

"I can't do this alone," replied Kate weakly.

"You will never be alone," Jack promised.

Kate took the pillow from the edge of the couch and placed it in Jack's lap. She then lay down and tried to get some sleep. She clung to his hand and knew as long as he was there she could do this. She could sit here and watch Sam die… but she didn't know if she could say goodbye.

To be continued…