The demon under the eyepatch

by bluefrosty27

Dipper and Mabel were sent for the summer to live with their uncle Sebastian to his house in the woods. There was something different about him though; with his triangular eyepatch, his sharp teeth, the yellow clothes he always wore or how he seemed to be hiding something from them. He was really weird but, what wasn't in Gravity Falls? SEQUELof The life of Sebastian Pines

25. Chap 25- Revenge trip

There! FIRST CHAPTER OF THE YEAR WOO! I hope you had a nice christmas and a happy new year. Mine was...eh, complicated :/

There's a lot going in this chapter so enjoy! As always, drawings in deviantart!

---

"Baby, don't be too hard on you for this, it isn't your fault."

"I can't take it anymore…It's not fair…I don't understand why I can't get them to make up…I-I always did…"

Carla sighed as her poor Stanny continued blaming himself for whatever shit Sebastian and Stanford were throwing at each other. "This isn't your fault."

Stan was taking a break from the family in the woods. They were spooky, but he preferred being eaten by a gnome or whatever if it meant being away from the house filled with negative energy for a while. "I know…but, this is so…frustrating! …I don't understand, Carla, I don't!" He ran a hand through his long hair and sighed. "Look. We were literally best friends as kids! We didn't have these kind of problems as kids! We fought occasionally, like any brother, but…we always ended up being friends, Carla…" Stan curled under the tree, watching a leaf lazily fall to the ground. He blinked a few times to keep his cool…but did he really have to? He was alone, no one could see him cry like a wimp. The middle triplet scrunched his nose and let the tears stream down his sharp cheeks.

Carla's heart ached when she noticed the change in his breathing, shallow breathing and hitches. "Oh, baby…Please don't cry…Maybe you just have to give them time?"

"It-It was that stupid science fair!" Stan wiped his tears with his arms angrily. "That was what caused all of this! If that stupid project hadn't been broken they wouldn't be fighting!"

"Wait, what science fair? You mean in senior year when Ford insulted Seb in front of the entire school? That was literally the only thing everyone talked about for months!"

"You aren't helping me, Carla."

"I am sorry…" The woman scratched the back of her head. "But don't worry, sweetie…I know everything will turn out fine at the end, you are great at this stuff, maybe just give your brothers a little more time to remember how much you love them."

At that precise moment, Dillon kicked the door to her room open and screamed. Carla jumped and Stan frowned on the other side of the line at the high-pitched yell. The dark-haired boy marched up to his shocked mom and snatched the phone from her. "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BROTHERS! LEAVE MY MOM ALONE, IDIOT! SHE IS ENGAGED TO MY DAAADD!" He ended the call and threw the phone to the bed before running away to hide under his bed to delay the spanking. It was worth it though, he was protecting Dad!

Carla blinked, froze and unable to move from her spot. Stan dialed again and she slowly picked up. "Yes?"

"Did Dillon just insult me…to defend…me?" He asked. He had been surprised at the sudden insult, but he couldn't help but smile a little. That was actually pretty nice. He felt so grateful to his child who was waiting for him and protecting him…even if it was from him.

"I…I think?" Carla massaged her forehead. She didn't raise him like that.

"Hahah!" Stan smiled and looked up with his eyes slightly red. "I love that kid!" He chuckled.

Carla was right though. Ford and Seb will stop being angry at each other… eventually. They needed so time to just remember how awesome friends the three used to be! "Thanks, Carla"

"No problem, Stanny…Now, I gotta talk to Dillon about how you don't scream at mom's friend whose brothers had a surgery." The two laughed at unison.

-.-

"Question Mark, let go of my leg or I'll throw you out of the window."

"Sebastian! Please don't go, dude!"

"I'm not even leaving yet!" Seb sighed exasperatedly. Soos had been following him around since he said he was leaving. Wendy had been pretty upset too. "Who is going to hire me then?!" She had cried as she pulled her hair, but he was sure Red was going to miss him as well. She better! After everything she did for her!

After he looked around to make sure the Gift Shop was empty, it was a lazy evening but it didn't hurt to check anyway), he made the man float away with his mind and Soos pouted sadly at him. "But I will miss you, dude…"

'Aaw, so pathetic. Make new friends, Question Mark!' Bill2 laughed mockingly and Seb rolled his eyes. What a jerk.

"I'll miss you too, but I have to go…We can still talk though." Seb patted his shoulder. Soos frowned. "What about…the Mystery Shack, dude? And your store? You worked hard on those…" The younger man sighed sadly, making Seb sigh as well. "Soos…I'd just…have to take everything out, you know this is actually Stanford's house so…unless he doesn't want me to go…" He trailed off and Soos sat down on the floor with his elbows on his knees. "Oh dude…Dr. Pines, huh?" He knew deep down the scientist didn't want to be mean, but he sometimes was really mean and did mean stuff. Like the tie thing. That cursed thing was his idea and that was not cool. Now his boss was angry and he and they did everything in their power to avoid each other or a fight was prompt to happen.

"Dr. Pines indeed, huh?…" Seb sat down behind the counter and rested his head on the table. Suddenly, he jumped when Soos exclaimed. "Dude! I have a genius idea! How about we make the ultimate Oregon road trip adventure earlier than normal?"

Seb's eye widened a bit and a smile slowly formed on his face. "That's actually a pretty good idea! I can get Fez to come right? And the kids?" Soos smiled, showing off his buck teeth. "Sure, dude!"

"What? Where? Where are you going now?" Mabel entered to the Gift Shop and stared at Seb wide-eyed. She didn't want Seb leaving yet! Her uncle picked her up and grinned. "To a road trip adventure! You want to come with me, right?"

Mabel pulled Seb closer until their noses were touching. The girl narrowed her brown eyes. "Do you have to ask that?" The blond laughed and put her on her feet once again. "Alright! It will last around 2 or 3 days, so start packing, we are leaving tomorrow morning!"

"Can I invite Candy and Grenda as well?" Mabel squealed expectantly.

"Sure! And ask your brother if he wants to come as well…Where is he anyway?" Seb asked and Mabel's shoulders slumped a little bit. "He's…with Uncle Ford down at the basement…He said they had something sciencey to talk about and he said it was private." She pouted sadly. Not like she cared anymore! Uncle Ford was a jerk and she didn't think she liked him as much as her other uncles. She shouldn't have agreed to use the tie…but it was his idea! So he had more fault!

And…Dipper insisted on going and being with him…Mabel didn't understand…She knew Dipper understood that Uncle Ford wasn't being a good older brother, he told her once! But…he insisted he made a mistake and he was trying to be better.

If he felt sorry he would say sorry and hug Seb, and he hadn't, meaning he wasn't ready to really apologize yet…

"Uncle Ford…isn't coming, no?" Don't get her wrong, she wouldn't mind being with him, it just seemed he wasn't interested in being with her or the rest of the family…

Except for Dipper.

"No, I doubt it." Seb shrugged. Hadn't even asked him, and wasn't planning to do so. Ford hated him. "But I am forcing your other uncle come with us. That sounds nice?" He raised an eyebrow and Mabel giggled. "Yay! Uncle Stan is coming too!" She cheered. "I'll pack my stuff and I'll also pack Dipper's stuff!" She hugged the blond before running away to her shared room.

"Should we get the RV from the deposit?" Soos asked and the blond turned to look at him. "No, Question Mark, we will go to each attraction by foot."

"But we would take more than 3 days then, dude." Soos scratched his head and Seb sighed.

'What an idiot'

The blond hugged the fat man and patted his back. "You are lucky I like you."

-.—

The moment had come.

It actually came!

And it was Mabel's happiest night!

IThe greatest moment started after she told her best friends about the road trip and both of them agreed, super excited to come as well. Mabel finished packing her bags and Dipper's and put them away before she went to knit Waddles some cute little socks. She was with Uncle Seb in the living room as he watched TV and eventually Uncle Stan joined them. "I'm hungry." He declared as he sat down on the arm of the couch.

"And what do you expect me to do about it?" Seb frowned. Stan hummed and fell backwards, falling over his brother's chest. "I don't know? Give me food?"

"What's the magic word~" Mabel sing-songed and Stan hummed in thought. He stood up and picked her up before swinging her around, making the girl laugh. "Abracadabra?! Is that it, pumpkin?"

"Noo! It's please!" Mabel laughed.

Seb rolled his eye with a grin and got comfortable on the couch. "Get your own food, jerk."

'Yeah! Show Fez who's boss!'

"Oh, by the way, Stan. Pack some clothes, tomorrow we're going on a road trip. It will be awesome. Details tomorrow."

The middle triplet rolled his eyes but accepted. Getting out sounded nice, especially now that the town knew he was Seb's brother, no one suspected a thing, and he didn't have to hide anymore. "Sure…I'm going to get food." He walked to the kitchen as Dipper entered to the room, laughing. "Hey, guys!"

"Hey, look who has decided to finally join us pathetic mortals." Seb commented as Mabel sobered a little. "You were all day with Uncle Ford…" She gave her twin a little smile though, not wanting to sound mean.

"Yeah! It was great! We talked about the supernatural, his investigations, he even showed me lots of prototypes for other inventions he had, and then we talked about-" Dipper caught himself before he spilled anything from the rift. "Well, you get me, science and weirdness. Man, Uncle Ford is so great! We also played a bit more of D,D and more D. Fighting with a real wizard doesn't take away the fun from it!" The boy said excitedly.

Mabel and Seb shared a look before turning back to face Dipper. "Right…We all know my brother is a mad scientist and stuff. Pinetree, Shooting Star, why don't you go eat something before bed? I want you to sleep early, tomorrow will be a busy day."

"What? Why?" Dipper tilted his head and Seb winked. "You'll see tomorrow. Now go…I'm winking by the way."

The twins smiled before going to the kitchen to get some food. "No glitter or sugar at this hour!" Seb reminded them. The kids got some food before they said good night to their uncles. "Good night, Uncle Stan, good night, Uncle Seb!"

They ruffled their curly hair before sending them to sleep. The two brothers stayed watching TV for a while before Seb suddenly asked. "Are you ready for paternity, Stan?"

"Pfft! I am more than ready!" The man waved a hand. "I am lucky I skipped diapers and stuff. I know everything about Dillon, I just need to keep him alive and happy, right?"

Seb rolled his eye. "Sure…Dillon will be a teen soon, Fez. Will you be able to control that? What if he goes all rebellious like Sherms?"

"Oh, please God no!" Stan frowned and the blond burst out laughing. The older man sighed. "Ok, well, I have to admit…I am not fully ready yet…"

"You are shitting your pants?"

"I am shitting my pants." Stan agreed. "And I have been thinking…I thought that maybe he won't really like me or…maybe I will disappoint him…" He shrugged a little. "He had been idealizing me for 13 years…maybe I am not what he is expecting…" Seb frowned and bit a hand on his shoulder. "Dillon will love you no matter what, Stan. He wants to meet his dad. I am sure he won't care he is a lazy slob who likes to walk around in his undergarments all day." He teased and punched his shoulder. The gesture was returned, and his eye watered a bit.

Ouch.

Stan grinned. "Well, yeah. I try not to think too hard about it. I can't stop him from liking me or not, so I will just…take it as it comes and go from there..." He shrugged again. He really hoped he liked him though, it would make stuff much easier…

"How about you?"

"Me?" Seb asked confused. "Me what?"

"Are you ready for paternity?"

Seb's face went red as his brother burst out laughing. He covered his mouth with his hands to try not to make too much noise.

'Copulation? I am guessing he expects you to procreate tiny humans…What a sad, limited, mandate.' Bill2 sighed. 'But, with who exactly?' the voice asked, utterly confused.

"Why the hell would you even a-ask me that?" Seb hissed. "I don't even have a partner! And-and oh god, me? A father? Are you crazy? I have almost killed the twins this summer more times than I can count!" He was a monster, he would probably fuck up those poor kids.

Stan didn't seem affected by his brother's outburst and grinned widely. "Well, you have started talking to your girlfriend again, haven't you~?" He purred and Seb covered his face with his hands. "And I know for a fact you are meeting with her at the end of the summer…That's why you don't care if Ford kicks you out or not. Isn't it?"

"Talking to Wanda doesn't mean she…wants to go back with me…" Seb mumbled but Stan gave him an unimpressed look. "Sebastian. From what I remember, that girl was beautiful and could easily find ANYONE to be with if she wanted. But she didn't. She waited. She waited for her crazy one-eyed boyfriend to come back! So do me a favor and don't say more stupid things anymore." The long-haired man huffed annoyed.

Seb blushed and looked away from him. Well…He had been talking to Wanda for almost 2 weeks now…But, that didn't mean she…wanted to go back with him right? He had to admit that would be…nice, actually. He had felt amazing with her when they had been together. It would be nice to feel like that again. BUT! Again! That didn't mean that they would have…k-kids? And deal with paternity? He shuddered in fear at the mere thought.

The universe was a bitch though, because his phone suddenly buzzed and made him jump at the unexpected vibration in his leg. He took it out of his pocket and Stan made a shitty grin when he realized it was Wanda. "Speaking of the Devil…I'll go pack my stuff for tomorrow I guess. Thanks for telling me just now." The man walked away and Seb picked up the call. "Hey, Wands."

They talked for a bit before they were rudely interrupted by the twins running towards him. "Hey, I thought I sent you to sleep." Seb pouted.

"We can't, it's too early." Dipper shrugged. Mabel climbed to his lap and smiled. "Who are you talking to?! Is it someone special?!" The girl squealed.

Wanda raised an eyebrow at the unfamiliar voices and chuckled. "Seb? Who are you with?"

The blond (who's blondness was quickly receding as his brown hair grew), sighed in resignation. "Hold on-" He put it on speaker and Mabel leaned in, reading the contact's name was Wanda.

IT WAS A GIRL!

"Ok…Kids, Wanda, Wanda, Mabel and Dipper, my niblings." Seb introduced them by phone, making the woman laugh. "Oh! So they are the famous kids you always talk about?"

Dipper blushed a bit as his twin screamed loudly. "AAAHHH! OH MY GOD! HI, WANDA! How are you!? Are you Uncle Seb's girlfriend?! Will you get married?!"

"Ma-Mabel!" Seb whined and took the phone from her. "Wanda is not used to the frequency of your voice! If you speak too close to the phone you might leave her deaf!" He scolded.

Wanda, sitting in her living room eating Chinese food, slurped her noodles and grinned. "Nah, its fine. I was Seb's girlfriend as teens…"

Seb sighed and looked down. Right. She didn't feel anything for him anymore. He ruined everything.

"REALLY!? AAHH!" Mabel shook Dipper by his shoulders and Wanda continued. "We…lost contact for a while, we are just now speaking again." The woman informed the excited girl on the other side of the line.

"But are you his girlfriend now?! Are you my aunt already!?" The girl squealed excitedly. "I ALWAYS wanted an aunt! I have been trying to get Uncle Seb to get me an aunt or an uncle all summer! I am SO HAPPY!" Mabel fell to the floor and started rolling around as she screamed, making both male Pines frown at her. Crazy girl. She didn't care though. BEST. NEWS. EVER!

"I…" Wanda stopped. Were they still friends? She still felt something for him…Seb said he missed her, so he felt something as well? Maybe? They hadn't established it yet, they have used all their phone calls to recover the lost time…

And, if she was honest with herself, many times she had caught herself thinking nothing had changed. "I guess we are trying to go there again…" She ended up saying, making Seb stare at the phone. "Really?" She really thought there was a possibility?! He grinned widely.

Mabel stood up and snatched the phone from her uncle as Dipper crossed his arms with an amused grin. "How curious, I always thought we would get an uncle." The man blushed and Wanda frowned a bit on the other side.

Right…She-She remembered now that Sebastian mentioned…a boyfriend? Well…As long as he didn't like anyone else there shouldn't be a problem.

"Aunt Wanda! I am SO excited to know you exist! I won't be able to sleep at all!" Mabel screamed to the woman on the phone and Seb sighed. "No, she won't sleep…"

"Where do you live?! How did you meet with Uncle Seb as teens? Was it romantic? Was he cute? Will you get married!? Will I ever meet you?!" Mabel walked away with the phone and Dipper and Seb stayed on the living room. They shared a look before they burst out laughing.

"I think Mabel will scare her, Uncle Seb." Dipper grinned. Seb sighed and leaned back on the couch. "Well, maybe a bit, but Wanda's strong. I am sure she can stand a bit of Mabel excitement." He grinned. His nephew sat down on the arm of the couch and played with the hem of his pajama's shirt. Good to know the kid didn't sleep with the clothes he was in during the day anymore.

"So…You are leaving with her after the summer…" Dipper concluded. It made sense to him. He met again with his long-time girlfriend and he wanted to be with her. Besides, this was Uncle Ford's house, no? So he guessed Uncle Seb didn't want to stay with his brother, especially now that they were acting like dummies. Mabel had been worried they would fight like them, but it was impossible, he had reassured her. They were best friends, and nothing would ruin that.

Seb ruffled his hair. "Yeah…Why? Will you miss me~?" He teased, poking his belly and making the boy gasp and squirm, holding back laughter. "N-No! Get away!" Dipper stuck his tongue out but his action made his uncle tickle him even more.

"HAHAHA! UN-UNCLE SEB! AAhhh! AHahaha! Please no!" The boy begged as his eyes watered for laughing too hard. "Never! Admit you will miss me!"

"O-Ok! Ah! I-I will miss you! Please! I'll pee myself!"

Seb grimaced and let the boy go. "Ew~" He whined. "Control your bladder!"

"And you prepare for my revenge!" The boy climbed over him and headlocked him. Seb cried surprise at the strength of the wrestling hold. That must be Stan's doing! "GGAAH!"

The two play wrestled for a while and ended up deciding to leave it on a tie because they would never finish otherwise. They went to the kitchen to get some water as Mabel and Wanda talked animatedly to each other. She had to ask Uncle Stan to talk with Aunt Carla as well! As the girl listened to the romantic way Seb and her met and became friends, she was already fantasizing with their wedding and when she will get cousins. First part of the list was completed. She's got an aunt. Now she wanted one or two cousins! If they were girls, even better! That way she could tell them about cute clothes and talk about boys with them when they grew up.

Nope, she will definitely not sleep tonight.

Dipper and Seb sat on the kitchen's table as they drank their water. The boy looked at his glass before looking up at the blond. "I will really miss you though…I've had lots of fun in Gravity Falls with you and Mabel…I am sorry I was, you know, so mean to you and all." He wished he had more time to stay. There was so much he hadn't seen yet…And, even when Uncle Ford promised to show him around, the time wouldn't be enough.

Seb patted his head. "It's ok, Pinetree, you know I don't mind…And it's not like we will never see each other again…We already decided we would scared your parents! Stan, Carla and Dillon, your cousin, will go for Christmas and we will make Shermie cry!"

Dipper chuckled, imagining his dad sobbing like a little kid, but then looked up. "Uncle Ford will come as well, won't he?" He asked innocently and Seb's smile decreased a little bit. "Eh…I don't know. Maybe he won't like it."

"I think he will, Dad's his brother after all and he asked about him and mom."

I'm his triplet and he hates me…Seb thought bitterly.

"Well…You can ask him if he would like it…" The man ended up saying and Dipper nodded. The child scratched his head and hummed. "You know, you don't have to be angry at him anymore…Uncle Ford was really trying to help, but I guess you are kinda right too…Just, maybe try to be friends again?" He asked awkwardly.

Seb ruffled his hair gently. Dipper believed in Ford's words of course, he was the Author. But he didn't understand, he didn't know anything… "Maybe…I think it's time for you to sleep, let's get my phone from your sister." The two went back and found Mabel laying on the couch as she comfortably talked to the woman.

"No! Really?! A 2 in 1 dress?! I want a dress like that! Oh my god!"

Seb rolled his eye. "Shooting Star, it's time to sleep, go." Mabel pouted and hugged the phone to her chest. "But I am talking to my aunt!" She whined loudly and Seb heard Wanda laughing.

"Yeah, well, you can talk another day, ok? We have stuff to do, remember?" He raised an eyebrow and the girl sighed. "Yes, I know…" She sighed. "Your jerk boyfriend is making me go to bed even when I won't be able to fall asleep, Aunt Wanda."

"I am sure it's for the best, sweetie." Wanda giggled. She liked Mabel already. She was such an adorable child. So full of energy!

Mabel passed the phone to her uncle and pouted in his direction. "We talked, she can't come to the town, but we agreed you have to present Aunt Wanda to us after summer, deal?" She crossed her arms.

Seb blushed a little every time his niece said 'aunt', and nodded sheepishly. "Ok, ok, just get out of here and go to your room."

"Good night, uncle Seb…" They said for the second time that night before going to their room. Seb fell to the couch with his face red. "Are-Are you still there yet?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok…So, that was Mabel…" Seb mumbled and Wanda grinned. "I noticed… She is a really sweet girl…" They fell silence for a second, and before Seb thought of something to say, the woman smiled shyly. "It…It would be nice to be their aunt…you know?" She said softy, making Seb smiled widely. Did that mean what he thought it meant?!

'Nah.'

"I-I am glad to hear that…Mabel won't let you escape now." He joked happily. "I…I want you to be their aunt as well…" He bit his finger with a smile as Wanda mentally cheered in her mind.

"Get a room you two!" Stan shouted from the door with a teasing grin, ruining their privacy, again.

Seb smiled and kindly flipped him off.

-.-

To her surprise, Mabel actually managed to sleep last night, and woke up early in a really good mood. She talked to one of her aunts, and now they were going on a road trip with her best friends. Best day ever!

Her twin and her changed clothes before going to have breakfast. Dipper was really confused at the chaos, Seb, Stan and Soos entered and exited the house carrying stuff outside. Mabel was even helping! What was happening?

He finished breakfast just as his glasses wearing uncle appeared, and looking as confused as he. "Hello, Dipper."

"Hi, Uncle Ford…No, I don't know what's happening." He said when the man his mouth.

Ford snapped his jaw shut. Mabel, wearing a purple sweater, ran inside and greeted her Uncle with a tiny smile. "Hello, Mabel. Why are you running around?"

"We are going out, Uncle Stan didn't tell you because he thought you wouldn't like it." She shrugged.

The scientist frowned a bit. Going out? Where? He had work to do, so he was staying…but it offended him a little he wasn't even asked about it…

"Come on, Dipper! I will show you! It is the surprise we told you about yesterday!" Mabel grabbed her twin's hand while with the other pulled her bag and pulled him away and out of the house to go to the front yard.

Dipper's brown eyes widened at the sight of the RV. Soos was on top of the vehicle, packing everything up.

"Soos, did we get bug spray? It's perfect for spraying in the face of hitchhikers!" Seb grinned maliciously and Stan laughed. "Yeah!" The brothers high-sixed.

"Whoa. An RV? Camping gear? Are you running from the law or something?" Dipper asked.

"Dude! It's the ultimate Oregon road trip adventure!"

"Surprise! Adventure!" Mabel grinned and threw confetti at her brother.

"More like revenge trip." Seb grimaced. "Every year my tourist trap competitors prank the Mystery Shack, I didn't know that was something common in this place. The first time was scary, and last year those hooligans duct taped Soos to the ceiling.

"That was a fun 78 hours." Soos smiled.

"Well, no more!" Seb snatched the map of Oregon's tourist trap from Stan and opened it. "This year we're visiting every tourist trap along the Redwood Highway, and I'm gonna prank back every single one! Mwahahaha!"

Dipper nodded slowly. Ok, that did sound fun.

"Bow wow! Time to let the road dogs bark!" Mabel gasped when she heard the unmistakable voice of Grenda. "That is us. We are the road dogs." Candy giggled.

"Girls! You are here!" Mabel squealed and hugged her friends. "Thanks for letting me bring Candy and Grenda along for our road trip, Uncle Seb." She thanked again.

"The more the merrier!" Seb smiled and Stan pulled some papers from his shirt. "Just… sign these non-disclosure agreements. None of your parents are lawyers, right?" The girls and Stan walked into the RV and Seb rolled his eye.

Soos jumped down from the roof of the RV. "What do ya say, dude? You comin'?"

"Of course he is coming!" Mabel looked at her twin. "I already went to the trouble of packing all your stuff. Even the stuff you kept in that secret box under the bed!" She accidentally dropped the box, and some pictures of Wendy came out of it.

Seb blinked. That was creepy, even for him.

"Whoa. What the...? Ugh, what's that?" Mabel frowned and Dipper quickly started picking up the pictures. "Uh, nothing! Just...Wendy stuff...from old times?" The boy said sheepishly and the group made a collective groan.

"Bro, I thought you were finally past all this!"

Stan walked out of the RV and patted Seb's shoulder as they roasted Dipper for his apparent not gotten over it crush. "I'll talk to Sixer, be right back."

He walked back to the house and found his brother preparing himself coffee. "You know a normal human needs more than coffee to survive?" He teased and the scientist almost jumped at the sudden voice. "There's bread there" He pointed at the pantry. "There's cheese in the fridge too, jelly, you know, actual food."

"Ok, I heard you the first time, Stanley…" Ford nodded. "You, you are going on a road trip, no?"

"Yeah, it was kind of in the spurt of the moment…Sebastian told me late yesterday…"

Ford hummed and nodded slowly. He didn't have time and yet Mabel said Stanley didn't tell him because he wouldn't agree…

"What? You wanted to come too?" Stan asked and Ford shook his head. "As interesting as it sounds, I have work to do, Stanley."

"Right…Well, Seb said the pranks lasted a few days, no more than 3 days. Can you promise there will be a house for when we come back?" He nudged his older brother and Stanford chuckled. "I can't promise anything." Stan rolled his eyes and patted his back. "See ya, Sixer…"

"Good bye, Stanley…Have…fun?"

"Will do!" The middle triplet saluted him and trotted back to the RV. "Don't suffer anymore, people! The most important person in the world is back!"

Seb looked up at him and blinked. "Excuse me, who are you?" The kids and Soos laughed as Stan grumbled and went to sit down next to his brother. "I'll tell Wanda you are annoying…" He whispered and Seb raised an eyebrow as he started the RV. "Oh yeah? Well, I'll tell Carla AND Dillon you-you are dumb! Hah!"

"You win this round, brother…" Stan narrowed his eyes.

The Pines and company were happily looking out the windows of the RV as it bounded across the open road. While Seb drove, Stan was chilling and Soos panted with his tongue sticking out.

"Man, RVs are amazing. I can't believe we're sitting at a table in a moving vehicle!" Grenda exclaimed. The three girls were on a table while Soos and Dipper were sharing another.

"Ooh! Informational travel pamphlets" Candy smiled and pressed the pamphlets to her cheeks. "I want to read them all and gain their travel knowledge."

"Kid, those useless pamphlets have never helped a single person." Seb laughed. "You have me as a travel guide, I'm all you need!" Candy pouted. "Now look alive! We're coming up on an attraction run by the most black-hearted proprietor in all of Oregon…" He narrowed his eye. He hated that woman…

The RV pulled up and stopped and everyone looked up at the sign outside of a house which read "Granny Sweetkin's Yarnball"

"Eh...Seb…That's just an old woman." Stan frowned and Seb growled. "No! Don't let the face fool you. This woman lit my car on fire on two non-consecutive occasions!" Fire was his thing! Not a mean old woman's!

The kids got out of the car and stared at the yarn ball. "Whoa…"

Seb watched Soos run to the Gift Shop as the girls went inside the yarn, laughing, and he groaned. No! No buying from the competition!

The two triplets watched from afar a tourist girl walk by Dipper and their nephew took a mouthful of air. "Okay. Like Soos said, meet new people." He walked up to the girl and Stan grinned and crossed his arms over his chest as his brother sighed. "Oh boy…"

"So, uh...come here often?"

"No. I'm a tourist." The girl frowned and looked at her ice cream.

Dipper laughed nervously and Stan rolled his eyes. "He reminds me of you flirting in high school." Seb answered by growling.

"You're funny. And cute. I mean, not cute. I mean, you're not not cute. Phew, let me start over. My name is Dopper" He extended a hand and dumped her ice cream in his hands.

The boy sighed and Seb rolled his eye. Enough of this. He pulled out his walkie talkie and shouted at Dipper, who jumped when his own walkie talkie buzzed.

"Pinetree! Move! This ball of yarn ain't gonna prank itself!"

Dipper ran towards Mabel who handed him a piece of yarn ball. He nodded as his sister gave him thumbs up and he tied it to the back of the RV. He sighed again with a sad look on his face. The two men decided to talk towards the boy and let the girl play a little more.

"You ok, kiddo? You're thinking about miss cold shoulder over there, huh?"

Dipper looked mortified at the thought of his uncles seeing that and he moaned. "Ahh, I'm so embarrassed. Look, earlier this summer I ruined my chances with Wendy."

Seb rubbed the back of his neck and looked up. "Haha, yeah, chances."

"And I wanna move on, but I'm terrible at talking to girls!" Dipper exclaimed. "The moment I open my mouth around them I unravel like...like...well, I can't think of a perfect metaphor, but you get the gist. At this rate, I'm going to grow up to be a sad loner like Toby Determined."

"WOW! Pinetree, no! Never say that about yourself again!" Sebastian frowned and put a hand over his shoulder as he and Stan crouched in front of him "Look, maybe you are just-"

"Kid, lucky for you I'm an expert on women. Listen to me, kid. When it comes to girls always be confident. And be funny, but not too funny. And be kinda annoying but in a lovable way."

"And what do you know? You have only dated Carla…?"

"Space is a…lonely place."

"What?!"

Stan shook his head. "Don't listen to him, he knows nothing."

"I never said I knew…I couldn't keep a relationship with a woman or a man…Though I've started talking to Wanda again…"

"That's just dumb luck, she already liked you." His older brother said as Seb pouted and looked at the boy. "You understood, kid?"

I don't know, Uncle Stan. This sounds kinda jerky…" Dipper frowned. Stan stood up and stretched. "Hey, jerky is just a term non-jerks use to bad mouth innocent jerks. Confidence, comedy, some third word starting with a C-"

"Carla" Seb suggested and Stan glared at him. "If it works in space, it works anywhere!" He spat and turned back to his nephew. "The three Cs of the Stan Pines dating technique! At the next tourist trap, try out my advice on the first girl you see."

Dipper nodded slowly. "Cool. Uncle Stan, thanks."

"Hey, I'm full a good ideas." Stan ruffled his hair and Seb rolled his eyes. "Yeah, speaking of which, everyone! Now!" The girls got out of the yarn ball and followed the men into the RV, Soos came running carrying his souvenirs. When the RV sped away, it started unraveling the yarn ball completely.

Seb laughed maniacally as he looked from the rearview mirror at Granny Sweetkin cussing at them. His eye widened though when she took a nail out of the ground and with a strength he didn't know old people possessed, threw it at the RV. "I'll get you, Sebastian Pines!"

'Try catching us, geezer! HAHAHA!' Bill2 cackled in his mind, making him laugh even more.

30 miles later, they reached Upside Down Town and again, the RV pulled up and stopped. Seb looked at the kids. "Ah, Upside-Down Town. The nausea capital of the state. Whatever you do, don't use the bathrooms." He told the kids who finished putting on their shoes Velcro and ran towards the house.

Now I'm interested…" Stan hummed and Seb punched his shoulder. "

"Road dogs! Woof, woof, woof!" The girls and Dipper chanted. A wooden wheel aligned them to the ceiling and walked into the house, laughing.

"Move. We are turning this place into Right-Side Up Town…" He laughed evilly. They put on the Velcro shoes so they could get inside and the men tried not to catch much attention. They walked around normally among the visitors, Stan was actually pretty amazed by the place and almost felt sad his brother wanted to ruin it.

Almost.

Destroying property was amazing in every sense!

They reached the living room and Seb and Soos grinned at each other before they jumped. They landed on the ceiling of the roof as the visitors watched confused. "Fez, what are you waiting for?" Seb called and Stan chuckled before jumping with them as well. They changed to their normal shoes, no need for Velcro shoes anymore! Mwahaha!

They started jumping on the ceiling-floor, and after jumping and pushing hard at it, they managed to break the sticks holding the house and the house fell to the side. Then the three ran by the walls and to the floor and gravity helped them turn the house right-side up once again. Seb smiled. "We gotta go! Run! Run!" He laughed and ran away, followed by Stan, Soos and the kids.

"Not so upside-down now Ahahahahaha!" The triplets laughed as they got on the RV and drove away. The owner fell to his knees in dismay. "Sebastian Pines!"

Seb drove until they were a safe distance away from the man's rage, and Stan got from his seat to talk to Dipper. "Look! I can't believe it work!" He looked at Emma's e-mail written on his hand. "What do I do now? Do I e-mail her?"

Stan shook his head. "No, no, no. You practice. The more girls you talk to, the better you get at it."

"Uncle Stan, these tips are priceless!"

"And that's just the tip of the advice-berg."

"Stan, that's a horrible advice." Seb called from the wheel. "Why don't you drive instead?" He raised an eyebrow. His brother leaned back and put his arms behind his head. "Can't do. I don't have my glasses."

"You wear glasses?!" Dipper gasped softly. Seb snorted. "Supposedly since we were 5, but he only wore them, like 2 years. You never cared about them when driving. Why now?"

"One, because I don't wanna drive, and second, I could put the kids in danger." Stan shrugged. Seb grumbled annoyed but he saw a point there.

"After we prank the other attractions, can we eat WcDonald's?!" Mabel called from her seat with her friends and Seb hummed before accepting. "Ok sure!"

"Yay!" The kids, Soos and Stan cheered.

They rest of the day passed in a blur of flirting and sabotaging. They visited every other tourist attraction and while the adults let loose some beavers so they gnaw on the wood, the girls had fun while they could in the water attraction and Dipper flirted with a girl there. He gave her a log-shaped candy and she giggled before writing her e-mail on his arm.

Stan gave him thumbs up when the girl turned around. Seb rolled his eyes and threw a beaver at him.

"Ahh! Not the face! Not the face!" Stan cried as he fell to the floor, trying to get the animal off him. His evil brother grinned like the former demon he was.

The next place they visited was the Corn Maze. Seb and Stan got their bags of 'corn weevils' out of the RV and ran inside the maze, laughing. Mabel thought the pranks were really mean, but…Aaaw! Uncle Seb was so happy watching those little insects eat the corn so she let it be. Dipper approached a girl with a small smile and spent the rest of their visit telling her how he saved his twin sister from a bunch of gnomes. The girl seemed to believe he was just joking, but she found it really amusing and funny so she gave him her e-mail anyway.

Unknown to everyone, Soos walked into a random area of the Corn Maze as the rest of the group ran back into the RV before the owner found them red-handed.

"Everyone on board?" Seb asked distractedly as Stan took the wheel this time. He guessed Seb deserved to rest…a little.

"Probably!" Mabel gave him thumbs up and Stan shrugged. "That's enough for me!" He declared before he sped up. They sky was already darkening so Stan, as previously agreed stopped at the closest WcDonalds what a blessing they were literally everywhere!

Stan got the biggest combo available (destroying other attractions left one really hungry), Seb got some nuggets and the kids got a Chipper Meal, and Bill2 usefully reminded Seb he was always spending money on Mabel's friends and that he was an idiot, as usual, but Seb knew he didn't mind, it was Bill2 trying to get him to be an asshole. He wasn't do it for the kindness of his heart either, he was doing it for Mabel, she was his family and he cared for his family.

After dinner, they went to Septic Ridge RV Park to rest. They parked the RV and Mabel gasped when she saw they could set a bonfire. Seb got the girls a bag of marshmallows and lit the fire for them. Meanwhile, Stan noticed a hot tub and immediately claimed it as their own. He took off his shirt, shoes and got inside. Dipper joined his uncle because he refused to go with the girls who were talking about boys and, after a lot of insisting, they got Seb in with them as well.

The blond grumbled, took off his shoes and sat on the edge of the tub, kicking the water just to keep his body in movement.

"Sebastian, I don't know if you have noticed...but you are still wearing your t-shirt." Stan raised an eyebrow.

"I don't take my shirt off." Seb stated, self-conscious for the huge stupid tattoo Bill2 put in his body.

'Well, in my defense, I was drunk.'

I know you were drunk! My body was intoxicated! Seb pouted mentally.

Stan leaned back and sighed. The water was so nice. "Right...Your birthmarks..."

Dipper hummed and sank his feet in the water as well. "Birthmark? You-you have a birthmark as well? We only saw your...tattoo..." Dipper's eyes widened. Uncle Seb had had his zodiac on his back! And he had NO idea! Oh, he was so dumb! He should have made the connection sooner!

"Woah, tattoo?! You got a tattoo?" Stan gasped. "What is it with you two getting tattoos?!"

Dipper crossed his arms with a smirk. "You also have a tattoo!" He pointed out. "I saw your back."

"Not a tattoo, scar. Not a cool moment." Stan shuddered. Seb groaned softly and took off his shirt before he got scared. Stan gasped at the cipher wheel on his back. "Well, first of all, Dipper, I didn't have a birthmark, they were red marks I was reborn with...As time passed, they changed and started forming the zodiac, which was a seal for my powers...It wasn't until my 18th birthday when..." Seb shook his head. "Not important. Just know that in a really stupid decision-" (aka giving Bill2 control) "-I got a tattoo over the red zodiac. When I came to Gravity Falls, the seal containing my powers broke, I got my powers back and...you know the rest."

Dipper and Stan nodded slowly. Stan had NO idea his red birthmarks were changing as they grew up, even less that they were forming his zodiac to lock his powers! "Did...did it hurt?"

"No." Seb lied easily. Well, half-lied. It didn't hurt as it formed. It hurt AFTER it was done.

Seb slowly got in the water. He took a deep breath as he slowly sank but it only reached his belly button so it was fine. "But, enough of me, haha, I have my shirt off! Why don't you tell us something about space?"

"Oh! I have the perfect story! I'll...censor it a bit for virgin's ears."
"Thank you." Seb rolled his eye and Dipper blinked confused but listened anyway. Apparently, Uncle Stan got in trouble trying to get to a casino in space. He didn't tell Uncle Ford where he was going to be so he was alone.

"So then I said to the bouncer, "Where's YOUR identification, ugly?!" He lifted his right arm. "That's where I got this scar." He said proudly. "Which I stitched myself!" He added proudly.

"Eww!" Seb whined as Dipper laughed. "Uncle Seb, Uncle Stan, I gotta say this as one of the best days ever! Look!" He couldn't hold his excitement anymore and held up his arms to show off all the phone numbers and e-mails he got.

Stan grinned. "That's the Stan Pines method, kid. Works every time." Seb splashed at his face.

Dipper slowly got in the water. "I'm just a little worried, though. I mean is it bad to flirt with this many girls at once? I'm just trying to get over Wendy. I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings." He raised his arms so water doesn't wipe the numbers.

Stan huffed. "Please. That's the best part 'a flirting on a road trip. You're not gonna see any of these gals again." He got 3 sodas and pass them to Seb and Dipper. "To moving on!" The three laughed and toasted with their canned sodas.

Meanwhile Mabel and her friends ate marshmallows voraciously as they told stories. The brunette HAD to tell them about her new aunt she met yesterday and her friends squealed with her.

"They are SO in love!" Mabel sighed dreamily. "They will get married and soon I will have lots of cousins! I'll knit them sweaters and little gloves for when they are babies! And little hats! Eeh!"

"I love babies! I just want to hug them forever!" Grenda exclaimed and shoved her roasted marshmallow to her mouth.

Candy giggled. "Oh this is so exciting! Do you think we will meet your cousins?" She could bet those babies will be beautiful! With how handsome Mabel's uncles were~

"Candy, I'll make sure you get to meet my future cousins." Mabel shoved a marshmallow to her mouth. "Ok, NOW! It's time for..." She raised her eyebrows and Grenda gasped.

"-Truth or Dare or Don't!" They pointed at Candy.

"I choose... don't!" Candy smiled.

"Ugh! You always choose don't!" Grenda huffed annoyed.

"Fine...Uh, truth." Candy agreed and Mabel grinned, still inspired in the love of her uncle. "Do you...LIKE someone?" She waved a stick with a marshmallow at her direction and Candy blushed.

"Uh-oh. Someone's blushing~" Grenda teased and Candy sighed. "Okay, maybe just a little. I don't know for sure. It just... started."

Mabel and Grenda gasped. "Tell us! Tell us!"

"Okay. It begins with a 'D' and ends with an '-ipper'." She confessed to her friends. It was really unexpected and it all started after Upside Down Town...Something about Dipper's confidence made her feel all fuzzy inside. He looked really charming~

"No." Mabel gasped.

"Yes." Candy said, completely serious.

Mabel and Grenda looked at each other. "Ready, Grenda? Three. Two. One." They gasped before screaming loudly.

The 3 men jumped, and looked around at the loud scream.

"Man, coyotes sound a lot worse than I remember." Stan mumbled before he continued telling them how fun being Mr. Mystery was, especially with the hat he found.

"And then, Soos said I was an updated version! I think he likes the hat as well..." He sipped from his can without a care in the world.

Seb moved the water from side to side until something suddenly clicked. "Soos came with us..." He whispered to himself before exclaiming. "Where IS he?!" Seb groaned. When was the last time he saw Question Mark? He had really been really distracted causing chaos in his competitors' attractions.

Dipper and Stan blinked as Seb moaned loudly in realization. The Corn Maze. That idiot! He slid down until he was accidentally underwater. The blond immediately got out and gasped.

"Gah!" Seb coughed. Fuck water! Wanting to drown him!

He took a deep breath and got out of the tube. "I'm gonna try to-find him or whatever." Seb mumbled and grabbed a towel to get inside the RV to find his phone.

Dumb Question Mark getting lost somewhere! He wasn't worried at this point, he was just angry at him for not being careful. He had 4 kids and a Stan to watch over! He did everything around here!

The kids eventually fell asleep and the blond simply floated them to their designed spots to sleep after he talked to Soos.

Stan raised a thick eyebrow as his brother sat down heavily next to him and suddenly...passed out, his body falling limply over him. "Seb?" He worriedly poked his cheek.

The older man decided not to think the worse for now and if he showed no sign of life in a few hours, he would worry. So, with that in mind, he curled up and closed his eyes to sleep.

He never noticed when his brother came back to his body, or when he snuggled closer to him.

-.-

"Can you believe it?! He was in the Corn Maze! Like, literally in! Waiting for someone to save him!" Seb ranted to his brother who was half paying attention to him, too concentrated on the funny videos he was watching.

It was morning again, they had a quick breakfast and now they were heading to the last attraction on the list, so while the blond drove, he complained about last night.

Seb had spent a few hours, out of his body with the stupid of Bill2 making completely useless comments, trying to guide his friend out of the maze.

At first Soos didn't understand the signs he was trying to give them, which was QUITE difficult while you weren't corporeal. "So, after I realized he wasn't understanding, I had to possess him for a bit." Seb commented lightly.

That caught Stan's attention. "Hold on, are you telling me...you POSSESSED Soos?! Like, how the fuck?!" He cried.

"I left my body, flew to the maze, found him, and possessed him. It's become much easier after the first times. I told him to find a way to go home."

Stan couldn't believe how casually Seb commented this. "Since-Since when have you..."

"Oh, well, to be honest I've only done it this summer." Seb told his brother sheepishly. "My powers before that were only fire and moving stuff with my mind. Having to save the twins again and again forced me to practice more." He grinned. "And it hasn't been many people...Just, just some occasional possessing when I needed something." He shrugged. They made deals so everything was fine.

Stan nodded slowly. "Right..." They stayed silent for a bit until Seb spoke again.

"Have...have you talked to S-Sixer?" Seb asked quietly. Stan sighed softly. "Nah...Should I ask him how is he?"

Seb looked at the road ahead of him and didn't speak. He shrugged. "Don't know..."

"Seb..." Stan started. He looked back to make sure the kids weren't listening. The girls were giggling among them and Mabel raised a hand.

"Question. This seat makes me car sick. Can I move to another seat today?"

Grenda raised her hand as well. "Also question. I'm the size of two people. Can I have a whole seat to myself?"

Stan frowned "Eh, I don't know, sure?" He said before focusing once again on his brother. "Seb, you know you can't avoid talking to him forever, right?"

"He doesn't care..."

"He cares." Stan insisted. "He is just…having a hard time trying to express it…"

"Because he is busy in the basement plotting how to kill me?" Seb huffed annoyed. "Or how to control me? Or use me? Or-or…embarrass me for something?!"

"Sixer isn't going to kill you!" Stan frowned but Seb pouted harder. "He's thinking about it because he hates me, he always has."

"Lies!" Stan crossed his arms. "We were best friends as kids. We had no problems before the science fair fiasco…" He lowered his voice at the sensitive subject. "He is just holding a grudge, which Ford does a lot, and you are angry because he is still holding that grudge…" Stan tried but his blond brother continued scowling.

"He said he was really trying to help the election week…He wanted to help you, maybe he wants to make peace! If you tried to talk to him again…or get along better, maybe you can be friends again?"

"Sure, and you believe him." Seb scoffed. "Like you always do…You are on his side after all...like everyone was…" He whispered the last part to himself. Bill2 giggled.

'No one was by your side when bad things happened. No one helped you. Everyone preferred the Stans, who had a future, who were worth something, unlike the freak triplet…'

The man with long hair glared hard. "I do NOT pick sizes!" He hissed angrily. What was wrong with his stupid brothers?! He had NEVER done it! Both were his triplets!

"Fez, you aren't the problem, I'm not angry at you…" Seb took a deep breath as his flames flickered in his hands. "I'm not even hating on Ford, I just…want to keep my distance, you know? Just like he is always doing. How can I know for certain he won't try to hurt me when it is the only thing he had been doing when he is out of the basement?"

"If he tried…to approach you, would you let him?"

Seb smiled humorlessly. "I did…and he didn't even apologize…He's not sorry, Stan…Because this had been like this since we were kids…" He said softly. "The only difference is that now I'm a possible menace because I used to be Cipher…"

Stan looked away at his window and sighed. "That wasn't like this when we were kids…If I could ask a young Poindexter, he'd say he loves you…Just like he does now…" He said in a defeated tone. He was sure of it, but he had no idea how to make them understand.

The RV fell in an awkward silence for a while which gave Seb time to practice his forced smile and keep his voice from breaking before he spotted the sign saying 'Mystery Mountain'. They were finally here. This was the longest trip ever…

"Alright, everyone. This is our last day of breaking laws"

"And breakin' hearts." Stan added, looking back to spot Dipper sitting next to Candy. The boy seemed tense, but the man didn't pay much attention to it.

"Everything up until now has been a walk in the park compared to our next attraction." Seb's eye narrowed.

"Is it a walk in the world's biggest park?" Mabel asked.

"Eh, sort of?" Seb frowned. "There she is, kids. Mystery Mountain!" Seb said and everyone looked ahead, seeing a huge mountain covered by fog, in the distance. "Five times the size of the Mystery Shack, and what's worse: she has real attractions!" The blond pouted.

"Oh! I have read about this place. It has sky tram. And a mummy museum. And sightings of half human, half spider creatures." Candy exclaimed, showing the pamphlet to Dipper, who smiled and nodded nervously.

Seb rolled his eye. "Even their made up legends are better than ours. Today, the mountain falls." He grinned evilly. He slammed the brake on the car and they stopped in front of the Mystery Mountain entrance. The kids and Stan looked up in awe.

Seb climbed out of the RV, and he was quickly followed by Stan who put his hand on his shoulder and patted it softly. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's ok, Fez! Let's just focus on ruining this attraction as well, deal?" The blond smiled at his triplet and Stan nodded with a smile. "Deal."

Seb turned to look at the RV. "Alright, road dogs! I got five bucks for whoever can tip the big blue ox! Go, go, go!" Mabel and Grenda first ran out giggling, before being followed by Candy.

Dipper came last looking mortified. "Hey, what's up with the mopey mug, kid?" Stan raised an eyebrow as he scratched the back of his head.

"Stan! You gotta help me! Everything you taught me worked too well! I think Candy just asked me out on a date!" Dipper said nervously but Stan only laughed and punched the kid's shoulder. "He-hey! Look at this little champion!

"What? No! I-I mean, Candy's great, she's sweet and she's smart, but I've never thought of her like that! Th-th-this is all moving way too fast!" The poor boy panicked and sat down as he panted.

"Pinetree? You ok?" Seb grimaced. "Stan, you broke him."

Dipper stood up and took a deep breath "Okay. I just need to be honest with her and tell her I-I'm not ready for all this."

Stan shook his head. "Don't you see what's happening here? That's your dumb obsession with Wendy gettin' in the way of your future! If you wanna move on, you've gotta say yes to whatever comes your way." He looked to the ticket booth and saw a woman smiling at him. "I'll show ya."

Seb frowned as his brother walked up to her. "Stan! Stan! What do you think you're doing!" He called angrily, but Stan waved a hand. "It's just to show the kid! Relax!"

"What? But I don't wanna lead her on!" Dipper called nervously but Stan waved a hand. "Watch and learn."

Dipper and Seb watched Stan walk over to the ticket booth. "Oh, I seem to have lost my number!" He leaned against it and grinned flirty. "Can I borrow yours?"

The woman laughed. "You are a riot! What brings you here? We don't normally get men this handsome around these parts."

"Heheh. Well-" He looked at the name tag. "-Darlene, between you and me, what I'm doing here is a little secret."

"Oh, you seem like a man with secrets." Darlene grinned.

"Ugh." Dipper and Seb frowned. "Isn't Uncle Stan…a dad, or something?" He asked Seb who was sighing tiredly. "Yes…If he knows what's good for him he will be only doing this to teach you to flirt."

"You know, I'm going on a break. You wanna take the sky tram up to Widow's Peak?" The woman suggested with a flirty smile and Stan leaned back to his nephew. "You see? Stan Pines' method. "Take my advice or don't, but clearly I know what I'm doing." He whispered.

"Do I have to remind you about someone? It starts with a C and ends in Arla" Seb crossed his arms. Stan rolled his eyes. "It's for fun! Nothing will happen" He huffed and walked over to woman. Darlene took Stan's offered arm and walked to the entrance with him.

Seb looked at Dipper. "Don't learn from him, please." Dipper sighed. "I have to find Candy…I-I think I already accepted going on a date with her?" He grimaced a bit and Seb rolled his eye. "She's just a friend, no? Just, just go with her and think that? I will follow Stan to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. And maybe I can find something to destroy." He shrugged.

Dipper nodded and they parted ways. While the boy went to Mummy Town U.S.A, unknowingly spied by his twin and Grenda, Seb spied on Stan and Darlene. There was something off with the woman, he could feel it…

'She looks like she wants to kill Stan.' Bill2 said dryly.

Well, yes, but there is something weird…

Stan and Darlene walked slowly, taking in their surroundings. At some point, they went to sit at a bench near the Giant Spider Forest. They were close to the tram to Widow's Peak as well. Seb's eye narrowed as Darlene tried to cling to his arm. Stan was keeping his distance though, he even mentioned his fiancée at some point but that didn't stop either of them of continuing talking and walking together.

A thot but loyal. Got it.

"Oh, are you sure you wanna go this deep into the forest? It's so scaaary." Darlene sat down and battled her eyebrows at Stan.

"Heh, don't worry. That spider people stuff is just an urban legend. I can't believe people fall for it. Just like the place my brother runs."

"You're so brave." Darlene gasped as she put a hand over his chest and Stan grinned proudly. "What can I say? I'm a real catch."

"Yes."

Much to Seb's horror, Darlene's eyes turned black and her voice distorted as she smiled at Stan. "The catch of the day."

"Uh, I think your contacts fell out-"

'You see? She wanted to kill him, haha' Bill2 said casually.

Seb cried when the woman started changing in size, and suddenly, she grew 8 long and black legs. Stan screamed when she spat something at his face and started encasing him in webbing. "Hey!" He called and the spider glared at him. "Leave my brother alone!"

His arms caught on fire and he shot at her, but she quickly dodged his attacks. It didn't help she was 3 times his size. "If I can't have him, then you are joining him!" Darlene spat and shot webbing at him too. Seb's eye under his eyepatch turned red as he grew not one, but two pairs of yellow, clawed arms. He screamed and charged at the spider-woman, managing to burn her a lot. Stan was screaming and cheering for him. However, that only served to anger Darlene even more. She spat more acid in the blond's direction and Seb cried in pain.

"Why?! The eye! Everytime!" He rubbed his burning eye and in his distraction, Darlene grabbed him by his back arms and threw him to a rock wall. Seb screamed in the air and groaned when he hit it, hard. The spider grinned maniacally as she grabbed her first prey and then dragged a dizzy Seb by his legs. "No, no, no, no!" He struggled to escape, but he was encased in webbing before he could do anything.

'Your arms stayed out' Bill2 pointed out usefully. Seb moaned in pain. "Yes, I know that!" Seb cried aloud. It hurt! Fuck!

Darlene grabbed the two trapped men and quickly made her way to Widow's Peak, laughing. Stan looked at Seb and smiled sheepishly. "Oops?"

"I hate you." Seb stated with a deadpan look, but while he didn't actually feel it, he was incredibly pissed off with him right now. His arms had been twisted and were now bent and crushed against his body. It hurt like hell, and this was all Stan's fault! "Look what you have done! This is all because you are a player!" He hissed.

"I wasn't trying to get a date!" Stan hissed. "I was just flirting!"

"Yeah! And look what happened!"

"Don't tell Carla!" The long-haired man pleaded his younger triplet who sighed loudly. "I don't want to hurt her, even if she took more than a decade to tell Wanda where I was…So you better compensate it to her when you are together again!"

"I'm sorry and I will!" Stan nodded with a pout. They reached a cave and the triplets frowned worriedly at the sight. It was full of spider silk and corpses. The brothers were stuck with more silk to the middle of the cave's ceiling before Darlene left.

Stan and Seb waited for a bit in utter silence before Stan wiggled a little bit to face his brother and make up a escape plan. They were glad Darlene decided to put them close to each other. "Ok, listen. My walkie-talkie is in my pocket. I think I can reach it, but I need you to take it out and hold it as I ask for help."

"Ok." Seb sighed defeatedly, the pain from his arms slowly growing. Asking Shooting Star and Pinetree for help…how stupid.

Stan wiggled in his cocoon a bit more and Seb waited as the walkie-talkie was squeezed out. It went flying and it almost hit the floor when Seb caught it with his mind and floated it to Stan's ear while pressing a button.

Dipper was panicking. Everything went totally wrong! While he was with Candy, the other girls he met appeared! Everyone left angry at him, feeling betrayed (the very thing he was trying to avoid, even when he wasn't dating any of them), and Candy left really hurt.

He was now trying to find his older uncle to get advice. He looked around nervously and he ran to the information stand at the entrance. "Uh, have you seen a guy around here? Uh, big ears, orange nose, a real know-it-all?"

The worker frowned and pointed at the raccoon animatronic next to him. "Ah, ah, ah! Flame Retardant Raccoon says: don't hug forest fires." The raccoon said and Dipper groaned.

"Stan, where are you? I need your advice!" He moaned desperately. As if on cue, he heard static coming from the walkie-talkie and he took it out of his vest. "Uncle Stan!?"

"Heeey, buddy boy. So remember how we were talking about my technique?" Stan said as Seb glared at him. "Well, sometimes it leads to… unexpected consequences"

""Yeah, you can say that again."" Dipper and another voice coming from the walkie-talkie, Sebastian, said at the same time.

"Uncle Seb is there too? Where are you, guys?"

Stan laughed nervously. "Well, the good news is, I've solved the mystery of where Oregon's mummies come from… The bad news is..."

"We will die, Dipper! We will turn into mummies!" Seb cried in panic and pain. He could barely concentrate on keeping the walkie-talkie from falling from his shoulder. His stupid arms were so weak when they wanted to be…

Dipper fell silence in shock and Stan continued. "Turns out Darlene is one of those spider people."

"Wait, wait, wait. Darlene's a spider person?! How is that possible?" Dipper cried.

"I don't know. One minute we're having the perfect time, and the next minute she's growing extra legs and encasing me in webbing. Women, right?"

"You couldn't tell she was a spider?!"

"I was blinded by flattery! Also, this acid she spit in my face. We're up the mountain at Widow's Peak."

"Alright, I'm gonna find you. Stay put!" Dipper instructed. "Really?" Seb deadpanned at the incredible stupid instruction as Stan looked down at himself. "…You got it."

The younger triplets gasped when a string of webbing was shot at the walkie-talkie and snatched from them. They looked up and saw Darlene holding the walkie-talkie in her half-spider form. "Ah, aaaah! Trying to escape?" She threw the walkie-talkie to the floor and broke it.

"You tricked me! I'm 80% certain you don't really fell for me at all!" Stan felt offended. He didn't want anything with her…but she still had to love him! It was supposed to be that way!

"Hah! Men will fall for anything." Darlene laughed. "You so funny, great story, I love a man with shoulder hair!" She sing-songed.

"You-you didn't mean it about my shoulder hair?!" Stan cried, this time feeling hurt. Seb rolled his eye. "You actually thought it was true?" Carla was a weird woman. He wouldn't like to be with a man as hairy as his brothers.

Darlene moved right next to Stan and pointed at him with one spider leg. "Tell me, Stan. Before I transformed, who'd you think was in charge? You, with your cheesy lines and 'fake confidence?'" She walked away. "I'm the master pickup artist here. Sorry, toots! This time, you're getting used for your body! Which, to my weird species, is food. Allow me to slip into something more horrifying."

The spider used her legs to pull her mouth open and over the rest of her human skin. She folded up her human half and revealed the other spider half underneath.

"AAAHH!" Stan and Seb screamed. The blond gagged and looked away as Stan seemed to be questioning all his life choices.

"I wonder what beverage pairs well with a vintage 40-something year old man?" Darlene walked away from them, deeper into the back. "Be right baaaack!" She laughed evilly.

"I. AM. NOT. 40!" Stan snarled. He looked at Seb who was breathing heavily. "Are you ok?"

"My extra arms, they hurt…when I-I don't fully transform…" He grinned tiredly. "Will we get eaten?" He asked defeatedly but his brother shook his head. "No, no way. We will get out of here, ok?" Seb closed his eye and Stan bit his lip. "Come on, kiddo…"

Dipper searched for his sister and friends. Eventually, he found the girls sitting at the Stump Bench and Candy still seemed hurt.

"I feel like such a fool. I should have known to guard my heart in a cage of ice…" Candy sighed and Grenda put her hand on her shoulder. ""There, there! Let my calming voice soothe you!"

"It is helping." Candy smiled slightly, but it was erased when Dipper ran towards them. "Girls! There you are!"

"Betrayer!" Mabel stood up and glared at her twins. Candy crossed her arms. "Oh, you. What do you want?"

"I need your help!" Dipper cried but the girls still didn't want to listen. "With what, some sick jealousy trap?!" The Korean girl high-fived Mabel. "Yeah, sing it, Candy!"

"Testify!" Grenda exclaimed.

"Look, I'm so sorry about everything. But Stan and Seb are in trouble! You can totally kill me later, but right now he needs us. I'll explain on the way!" The girls nodded solemnly and ran after the worried boy.

The kids ran in direction of Widow's Peak. The past the geyser Old Reliable as Dipper quickly told them what happened. "The woman Uncle Stan talked with ended up being a spider person and they are about to be eaten!"

Mabel gasped. "But why was he talking to her? What about Aunt Carla?" Candy huffed. "I guess it is something the Pines boys do."

Dipper blushed as they ran past the Trambience. They were close to the the cave!

While Darlene was busy, Stan was praying, with his fingers slightly out of the coccon. "Please. I don't know if you're really up there or not, but if you are, please save us, Paul Bunyan!"

"Mr. Pines!"

Seb opened his eye and Stan's eyebrow rose in surprise. "Whoa, did that really work?" They looked down and saw the kids running into the cave. "Kids!" Seb cried relieved.

Grenda yelled as she tore up the silk holding the two men in place, and they fell to the ground with a thud.

"You came to save us!" Seb sobbed. "Quick! Before the rest of the venom sets in!" He shouted. The kids managed to tore off the webbing and Seb made his arms disappear before moaning in relief. Darlene screamed when she realized her preys were escaping, and the group ran out of the cave, shouting.

"No! Where are you?" The spider ran after the triplets.

The group ran as fast as they could from the murderous spider. Candy's eyes widened and pointed ahead of them. "The sky tram! Everybody on! I have a plan!" She exclaimed and they quickly got ont on of the trams of the Trambience.

"Haha, yes!" "Perfect!" Mabel and Grenda cheered. They were safe from the spider now!"

"Ride like the wind, sky tram!" Stan ordered, but they realized the tram was very moving at all. A voice suddenly played inside the tram.

"Welcome to Trambience, the world's slowest treetop tram ride. Enjoy the sights at 0.1 miles per hour.2

"What the hell!?" Seb hit the walls as Grenda groaned and stomped the floor with her feet. "Move, move, move!"

"Ugh, can't this thing go any faster?!" Dipper cried and the recording answered. "No it can't. This is Trambience."

Seb looked at the window and tried to spot the spider. "Maybe we lost her?"

"Enjoying the view?" The recording asked and a loud bang was heard on top of the tram. "Take a picture!"

Darlene's head suddenly appeared in the window. "AAAAHHH!" Everyone screamed and panic. Seb practically jumped on his brother when the spider appeared out of no where.

'Great. Your words doomed you all.'

Darlene began coating the tram with webbing. "This is our end!" Seb cried. "We're doomed!" Stan cried putting his hands on his head and Dipper started shaking him "We're all gonna die!" The three men started screaming.

Candy's eye twitched a bit. Men. She pulled out her pamphlet and read it quickly. "Listen carefully! This sky tram has an emergency drop switch. Below us is Oregon's largest Paul Bunyan statue! And Old Reliable goes off in 5…" She looked at her watch. "4…" Candy grabbed the emergency drop switch.

The male Pines, who were hugging each other, watched Candy about to pull the level. "Candy, wait! Don't pull that lever!" He cried as Candy continued counting down, completely serious.

"Kid, no!" Seb sobbed as Stan hugged Dipper and Seb closer to him. "Are you crazy!?"

"NOW!" Candy pulled the switch and everyone inside awaited with fear. The tram was disconnected from the rail, sending it and Darlene down to the ground. Just as Candy said, Old Reliable went off, and pushed the tram into the air, all while the people inside, except for Candy, screamed.

They bounced and rolled across Mystery Mountain, barreling through the ticket booth below the Paul Bunyan statue and destroying it. Darlene who had been severed from the webbing, lied beneath the statue that was losing it balance.

"No!" She cried, but before she could escape, its foot crashed down on her. "My only weakness! A giant boot! A giant newspaper or a giant cup would've also been pretty bad." Darlene grunted as she tried to escape.

The door of the tram was pushed open by Grenda and the group stumbled out, dizzy and groaning. "Thank you for riding Trambience sky tram! Tell your friends it was a boring, boring ride." The recording said.

Seb blinked to focus his sight once again and looked at Candy. "Kid, that was ingenious! How'd you know that would work?!"

Candy smiled at him. "Useless travel pamphlets."

"Staaaannnyyy..." The group turned to look at the spider who pulled her human head back on. "I'm sorry. I dunno what came over me. You'll let me out, right?"

Stan crossed his arms over his chest. "Ok,first of all, no one calls me Stanny BUT my girl! And seriously?! After all that?! Do I look like na amnesiac?!"

Darlene laughed and twirled a lock of her hair. "You're so funny~. Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?"

"You know, I actually have. Once-" He walked closer to her as he talked and the kids and Seb pulled him back. "STANLEY!" They all shouted.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Spider."

"You win this round, Stan! But mark my words, as long as there's men like you out there, with their dumb one-liners and pickup moves, I'll never run out of prey!" She turned back into a spider and spit acid at Stan's feet.

"Aah! Get the car, get the car!" Stan and the group ran into the RV as soon as possible and he drove away from Mystery Mountain, finally in direction of the Shack.

Everyone was exhausted after the adventure. The girls and Seb fell asleep on the back, the poor blond was still kind of hurting and needed to rest.

Dipper was sitting in the passenger seat next to Stan and he sighed before wiping the girls' numbers off his arms. Stan sighed as well. "Well, I gotta admit something, kid…Seb was kind of right. I'm no expert on women…I have only had one girlfriend my entire life, I couldn't even marry her, and I've been slapped by alien ladies more times than I can remember…How could I know complimenting someone's eyes in that species wa something really personal?" He shuddered. "Confidence can buy you a lot, but at the end of the day, pickup artists tend to get our heads bitten off. When it comes to women, I'm a failure…" He winced. It didn't matter though, not anymore, he had Carla, who was crazy enough to like him just as he was.

"Hey, we're both failures…" Dipper pointed at his arm and Stan snorted. "You know, even if your dating tips were bad, I actually haven't thought about Wendy all day. Plus, you did teach me to be more confident. I guess I just need to learn to use that power for good." He looked back at Candy who was alone and staring out of the window. Stan nodded at him. "Go…"

Dipper apologized to Candy and sat with her the rest of the trip. Everyone woke up as they entered Gravity Falls and cheered when they saw the water tower. "Yay!"

"I still feel a little bad about wrecking those tourist traps." Dipper commented but Seb smiled sleepily. "Nah, everyone loves my pranks! And the best part is, I never have to face any consequen-SWEET LORD!" Seb screamed and Stan stopped the RV.

-.—

In the time they were out, Stanford had been thinking, and a lot. The house had been completely empty, and, while he was sitting quietly on the living room's table, trying to write about the dimension he named the 'Better World' in his journal, he realized just how lonely he actually was.

Well, Mabel's pet pig had stayed, but the animal spent the day in the twins' room and only approached him to give him food. He hoped an apple was an appropriate food for a pig.

He tried to sketch the beautiful research center his alternate him built just next to the house, but he had to stop a few times to rub his eyes. Even if he had this life, if he was as famous, and renowned…Stan wouldn't talk to him, and Seb…He didn't even know where his younger brother would be… He-He had been in a pretty bad situation years ago, hadn't he?

Ford chewed on his pen. He had problems with Sebastian, it was more than obvious…But…He groaned. But… what? He didn't know what to think! He didn't want to lose his family, he didn't, being alone was horrible, and he knew he didn't want something bad happening to Sebastian (not…now at least) …but…he…would be fine without him too?

No! Urgh! Intrusive thoughts! He wanted to be fine with Sebastian again like when they were…kids? As kids they got along better, right? But he was still annoying back then, even though they had fun together as well.

"He was the freak! He was crazy, stupid, didn't do anything right! Not you! You are a great mind, Sixer! People did wrong comparing him to you! You have such a bright future!" "Don't feel bad for him! He was worthless! What does he have to prove? He didn't even finish school, did he?! HAHAHA! You see?! When our project is done, everyone will regret thinking you were remotely close to him." "You will be the mind who change the world, Brainiac! He will regret trying to sabotage your future! Because that's what he did. Do you really believe it was an accident?"

Ford covered his face with his hands and let out a choked sob. He couldn't get rid of these thoughts…He couldn't…He broke his mind. He wanted to fix things, he wanted to stop feeling like this, but despite he was a genius, he had no idea how…He should know! He should know how to solve everything!

He felt like an apology was due, deep, deep inside him, because his attitude was…regrettable, but he would never admit it. Not when it was engraved in his mind that the one wrong was him.

The day they were supposed to be back, the scientist was ready to talk to him and try to get his brother's trust once again, because Sebastian said he was mean, he got it, he knew, so he had to prove he wasn't. However, being suddenly attack and buried under tons and tons of corn wasn't a good way to keep your good mood.

Everyone gaped at the sight in front of them. The owners of the other tourist traps they pranked were ruining the Mystery Shack. Granny Sweetkin was writing graffiti all over the ceiling, insulting him quite nicely, especially with the name of the Shack. She had thrown all the letters except 'Hack' to the floor and wrote 'Seb is a Hack'. The owner of Upside Down town had written 'YOU STINK' upside down, and the owner of the maze broke the windows to fill the house and entrance with corn.

"OH FUCK!" Seb cried.

The Corn Maze owner ran up to them and smashed one of the RV's headlights with a baseball bat. "That's what you get! That's what you get!" He laughed and ran away with the other tourist trap owners.

"I don't understand. I completely don't deserve this!" Seb grimaced defeatedly. The owners got to their vehicles and drove away, happy with their evil deed.

"Oh, man. Are we gonna have to help clean this up?"

"Nah, I'm sure Soos will take care of it. Where is Soos, anyway?" Seb's eye widened. He better be here now to clean this!

The entrance was slammed a few times and everyone heard a cry of victory when Ford managed to open the door. He rolled on the floor with the huge pile of corn and spat one from his mouth. The scientist got out of the house and stared at the mess those people did before he glared in their direction.

"Oh boy…" Stan sighed.

"Can-Can you tell me…WHY THE FUCK! SOME STRANGERS! CAME TO DESTROY MY HOUSE?!" Ford was panting. He had been buried alive! He was lucky he managed to escape. The brothers starting arguing loudly and the kids and Stan sighed tiredly. Not this again…

"Don't you see it is your childishness that ALWAYS brings us problems?! You never think of what you do! If you hadn't wrecked their attractions-"

"What are you?! Mom?! Why do you even care about what I do?! You never do!"

"Because this is my house! And they vandalized my house, Sebastian! Is it too much to ask a little of respect?! You are living-"

"And I will LEAVE!" Seb screamed. "I will leave your stupid house and burn everything I own if it makes you shut up!"

"I never said I wanted that!" Ford frowned. "You made those people destroy the house! I just want you to apolo-"

"Don't come ask me for stuff you would never do yourself!" Seb spat, holding back tears.

"Urgh!" Stanford pulled at his hair, stressed. "Why are you so impossible to talk to?!"

"Stop it! I will fix this! I'm going to clean! Just stop it!" Seb sobbed as his arms caught on fire.

Mabel's lower lip trembled as her two uncles continued fighting. Her friends put comforting hands on her shoulders as Stan went to get a bucket and filled it with water. He threw the cold water at Seb who wanted to turn into the Human Torch and at Ford. Both gasped, looking at Stan with big brown, puffy eyes.

"Stop!" Stan growled and the shivering men stared at each other. Seb shook his head at him before going inside. Ford looked at Stan and out of impulse, ran after the blond.

"Sebastian, Sebastian, wait!" He called as the blond went to the bathroom. He was about to close the door but he put his feet between, keeping him from closing it. Seb grabbed the towel and looked at him with an expression that went between a scowl and a sad pout.

"What now?" he asked tiredly.

Ford took a deep breath and pushed his wet hair from his forehead. Do it! Just freaking say it! He screamed mentally. "I-I shouldn't have reacted like that…I-I am sorry…"

Seb dried his face with the towel and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Ford fidgeted awkwardly and nodded. "I-I wanted to talk, really…I don't want to continue this useless fighting. I've come to the realization that the only way to solve our problems is to talk…"

Seb blinked at him and rubbed his eye. "You want to talk…?" Was Sixer going to really apologize? Was he going to start liking him again?

"Yes." Ford nervously put his hands behind his back. "You see, I wanted to talk, and I admit it was quite immature from my part to avoid you after knowing about your past." He nodded and adjusted his wet glasses. "But, you have to admit that you are a lot like Bill and I had every right to distrust after what I went through."

"So you are blaming me?"

"Well yes, you caused this in the first place, but-NO! NO WAIT!" He cried when the blond put the towel once again on the hanger and walked away. "I didn't mean it that way!" Why was he so bad at talking to people?! Urgh!

"Haha, I almost believed you! You got me there!" Seb smiled tensely.

"No! Wait! I am sorry!" Ford pulled at his hair, but…he wasn't sure what exactly he was sorry for… "Sebastian…No, wait. I-I am trying…" He said defeatedly.

"Yeah…please, stop trying…" Seb blinked his blurry sight and a single tear streamed down his uncovered eye. "It just hurts…" He wiped his eye with his fist and walked outside with a fake smile to help everyone clean the mess he caused.

Because Ford was right. This was his fault. He was always messing up, because he was dumb, he wasn't like the great Stanford Pines, he was better than him at everything since ever. He knew, and Ford knew it…

The scientist covered his face with his six-fingered hands and screamed into them. Why was this so fucking hard!? Maybe, maybe stop talking was for the better…He tried talking today and he hurt him even more. Maybe he should also try to stop trying to fix something he didn't know how…or when it broke.

---

oof! Can't seem to be solving the problem. huh? Dumb bois

I know unicorns followed, but i changed the order to add something I know you guys will like *evil grin* can you guess what it is? PLEASE REVIEWWW and see you next chapter!