Edited.

Catherine's POV

I've been battling with my emotions for the past hour. Since Sara kissed me. Part of me is ecstatic. Over the moon because this means she likes me too. This means she wants me too. The other half of me is nervous. Afraid of getting hurt. Jumbled and confused. I have been trying to sort through this. Figure out what I want, and how I feel, because at some point Sara will approach me wanting to talk. I know her. I know her well enough to know that she will want to talk. Now that we are working toward a solid friendship again.

"Mom phone! It's Uncle Gil." For once in the past few months I am happy to hear from Gil. Thrilled for a distraction.

I walk into the kitchen and grab the phone from Lindsay. I head back toward the living room with it. "Hey Gil."

"Catherine. You are working Swing with Greg today." I glance at the clock. At least he has given me a few hours to get ready this time.

"Ummmm. Okay. Why?"

"For borrowing two of their CSIs over the weekend. Warrick and Sara will take Swing tomorrow."

"Whoa wait. You are making Sara do Graveyard tonight and Swing tomorrow? She is going to have about four hours of free time before she has to go back to work. That's ridiculous Gil!"

"I've already talked to her Catherine. She says she is fine with it." Sure she is. Sara is just too sweet to say no.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow night then. Bye Gris."

"Bye."

I don't know whether I'm relieved I won't see Sara again today or disappointed.

Lindsay enters the room. "What did Uncle Gil want?"

"I have to work Swing today. Grandma is refusing to come over for some unknown reason. Do you think you'll be okay here by yourself until the end of shift?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I better get ready then." I stand up and give her a kiss on the head before leaving the room.

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"Look at the blood spatter here… Catherine? Catherine!" I shake my head and look up at Greg. We are working in the layout room looking over pictures of the scene.

"Sorry Greg. What were you saying? My mind was in other places." With Sara. I want to see her. I can't explain it. Through all of the confusion I still want to see her. I need to see her. I need to know what she is thinking. How she is feeling about what happened.

I need to know if we are still okay. I need reassurance that she isn't going to act the way she did last time.

What I want I still don't know. She hurt me so much. I'm afraid it will happen again. If we have a fight or if something hits too close to home.

I have to know if she will still be there. If she loves me enough to work through this.

I'm not so naïve to believe a relationship between us would be easy. We would butt heads here and there. We would get under each other's skin. Part of me is willing. Willing to give it a go. Willing to stay by her side no matter what to make it work. I love her.

Would she be willing to stay by my side though? Will she always be there? Her actions make me unsure, and even though I love her I have to think about Lindsay and Jay. What is good for them.

If Sara is going to be in and out of their lives when it is convenient for her then no. That would be too hard for the girls. No matter how much I love her.

"Anything I can help with?" I turn my attention back to Greg. I can see the concern in his features. The love. He has been so caring toward me lately. Trying to help me through things. I believe he understands. That he has been through something similar before. That knowledge brings us closer. He is a great friend, and it is nice to have someone to talk to. I haven't told him about my worries when it comes to Sara, or what happened between us.

I trust him to keep the information to himself though. "Maybe." I take a deep breath to settle some of the nerves in me. "It has to do with Sara…" He listens intently while I tell him everything. I don't leave out Sara's drinking and self harm problems in hope that he can help me, help her. "You have to promise that no one will find out about what I have told you. Not even Sara."

"Of course not Cath." It feels as if a huge weight has been lifted from my chest. He places a supportive hand on my back. "Do you know what you are going to do?"

"No. Part of me wants what I believe she is offering, but she hurt me so much Greg. I don't know if could bring myself to have a relationship with her. At least not yet."

"Well that's exactly what you need to tell her then." His hand moves so that he has a protective arm around me.

"Hey guys." I turn my head to discover Sara standing in the doorway. She has about two hours until Graveyard starts. What is she doing here so early? There is a small flutter in my stomach. "I was talking to Wendy and she asked me to drop off your DNA results." She looks stunning in a tight emerald shirt and dark jeans. "I'm not interrupting something am I?" The green brings out her eyes. Eyes that are focused on me.

"Nah Sara." Greg replies for me. He must have noticed I was zoning out. His arm moves away from my back.

"We were just looking over the crime scene photos," I say finally finding my voice. She skeptically raises one eyebrow. Her gaze not wavering from me. I return her gaze. She has put on a mask. She looks indifferent. Not to me. Her walls aren't strong enough to keep me out anymore. I catch a glimpse of the worry in her brown orbs before she breaks the connection.

"So what you do you have?" She asks as she strolls over to the table. Sara passes Greg the report and stands across from us at the table.

"We don't have much yet."

"I was pointing out the blood spatter to Catherine when you came in." I had noticed the spatter, but I was busy with other things.

I briefly glance up at her from the pictures on the table her eyes are again on me.

"I noticed it," I look up at Greg and observe that his attention is focused on something else. Following his stare my eyes rest on the scars covering Sara's arms. I nudge Greg to remove him from his trance.

He blinks a few times before looking at me. I give him a warning kick under the table.

Sara's eyes are burning into my flesh. I can feel the temperature of my body rising. "I…I'm going to..to check in with Hodges." I stammer before leaving the room.

Instead of going to find Hodges I head to the bathroom. I need to splash cold water on my face.

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Closing my locker door I look toward the door. Sara is standing there waiting. I have a feeling this isn't going to be like our normal five minutes after shift. My nerves kick in full force. My heart beat has increased, and I can feel myself slightly shaking. What is wrong with me? I've never been this unsure of myself around anyone.

Then again it is Sara. She makes me feel things I have never felt before. "Do you think we could talk Cat?" She asks quietly. Sara sounds as nervous and unsure of herself as I feel.

I catch her eye and try to determine what I see in those dark brown pools. I nod my head. "Go to the break room so Grissom knows you're here for shift. I'll come get you."

"Okay." The last thing I want is to get her in trouble with Grissom.

I stand waiting for Grissom to walk down the hall and enter the break room. Finally I spot him. I need to get home to Lindsay.

Quickly I walk over to the door. "Hey Gil. I need to borrow Sara for a few minutes. I think I have something on the case Greg and I are working, but I could use her expertise."

He looks at me for a moment, "Okay."

I begin to walk toward my office assuming Sara will follow. Taking a seat on the couch I wait for Sara to close the door and sit next to me.

She sits on the opposite end of the couch. Her eyes meet mine and I turn away. "What did you want to talk about hun?" I know exactly what she wants to talk about. One of us had to start the conversation.

"I want to apologize for ki…"

I grab her hand and tangle our fingers together as I say, "Don't apologize for kissing me. Don't." I meet her eyes with determination this time. I'm not going to look away. I want her to understand. I need her to understand.

"What does this mean for us?" I wish I knew the answer to her question.

"I don't know. Are you…do you want more?" I hold her gaze; hope making itself present inside of me.

She nods and I send her a small smile. "Do you?"

"I do. I do want more. It's just… I'm so confused right now. I need reassurance from you that you won't leave. Part of me wants to be with you more than anything, but the other part of me isn't so sure. I'm not going to pretend like you didn't hurt me Sara." I glance at my watch. "Listen I really need to get home to Linzz she's alone."

"Where's your mom?"

"She's refusing to come over." I catch a hint of guilt in Sara's expression. I don't think I want to know. I stand up and Sara copies my actions. I glance at her. I can tell she is hesitating. Before she can argue with herself any longer I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her into a hug. As her arms slide around my waist they leave a pleasant tingling sensation. I nuzzle my face into her neck. " I need some time to think," I mumble into her skin before removing myself from the embrace.

I walk Sara to the door. Her lips find my ear and she whispers, "I'll wait for you forever if I have to."

I gaze after her longingly as she walks away.

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Leaning against the side of the building I am waiting for Sara to pull into the parking lot. I need to see her. I couldn't wait until the beginning of shift today. Only to see her for a few minutes since she would be getting off Swing.

I went home and I thought and thought about our conversation. About what I want, but I am still no closer to the answer.

I notice Sara's car and wait anxiously. She gets out looking exhausted. I can tell she has gotten either no or little sleep in the few hours she had. Our eyes lock and she beams at me. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you could use some coffee." I hold up the extra cup of coffee for her to see. She chuckles.

"You were right." I pass her the coffee and her hand brushes over mine.

"Did you get any sleep at all?"

"No," I observe as she stifles a yawn.

"I can take your place if you want."

"No, I've got it. You should go home and relax." She glances down at her watch. "I've got to go. I'm running a couple of minutes late. Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you later." She is at the door when I remember the invitation from Lindsay.

"Sara wait." I grab it out of my sweatshirt pocket. Well Sara's sweatshirt. I hand her the card. "Lindsay asked me to give you this."

She takes it and I watch her eyes traveling back and forth across the information. "I'll be there."

"Lindsay got a solo." When she smiles it reaches her tired eyes.

"That's great. I've never been to a ballet recital before."

"She wants you to come over to the house early so that we can all go together. If you can."

"What time?"

"Ummm how about around six. You can have dinner with us."

"Six o'clock on Friday night. I'll be there." A smile grazes my lips.

"Can't wait."

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I've realized that I haven't seen my sister in at least three months. Usually we are very close, but I've been wrapped up in everything going on with Sara. Glancing at the clock I smile. It's her lunch break.

I think I will pay her a visit.

I make it to the hospital in just under ten minutes. As I head toward the cafeteria I make a mental note not to mention anything going on between Sara and I. I don't need another person mad at me. Especially not Nancy.

I notice my sister sitting by the window absorbed in a book as she eats. As I get closer I quiet my steps wanting to surprise her. Sliding into the seat across from her I wait for her to realize I'm here.

As she goes to turn the page of her book she stops. Glancing up her green eyes meet mine. "Cath!" A smile breaks onto her face, and I return the gesture. She gets up and moves to my side of the table. I stand up and hug her. Holding her tightly in our embrace. "God it's been too long Cath. It's great to see you."

I pull away and kiss her cheek. "It's great to see you too Nance. I've missed you."

"So what have you been up to," she asks as she returns to her seat.

"Not much. Work."

"In the three months I haven't seen you all you have done is work? I don't believe that. Is there a new guy in your life?"

"Well you certainly don't hesitate. No, no guys. What about you? What have you been doing?"

"Same as you I guess. You look exhausted Cath. You need to get more sleep." I roll my eyes at her. Being my little sister makes her extremely protective of me. She receives the same from me in return so I can't complain.

"Well you look very nice Nancy."

She laughs, "Thanks."

"Lindsay has a dance recital on Friday. I'm sure she would love to see you and Jeremy there."

"Same place as usual," I nod. "I'll try to make it." I think about how Sara is going to be there, and all of a sudden my invitation to Nancy doesn't sound like such a good idea.

I push the thought aside. Lindsay will be thrilled. Plus I have other things to talk with Nance about. "Do you know what is going on with Mom?"

"Yes." She raises an eyebrow at me. I know she hates giving me information about mom, but at the same time she feels obliged to tell me since she is my mom too. Nancy is the perfect person to ask.

"Are you going to tell me?"

She sighs, "I guess so."

I smile at her. "Nance you're the best. So what is going on? She will barely talk to me, and she is refusing to come over."

"Sara." Sara? I can tell this is going to be like pulling teeth.

"What about Sara?"

"Apparently she blew up at mom over the weekend." What?

"Why?"

"Mom says she ran into Sara, Lindsay, and Jay at the bookstore and Sara started yelling at her. According to Mom she didn't do anything to start it. She didn't even have a clue what she did to deserve it. But it's our mom we are talking about. She tends to alter situations."

"Yes she does."

"Sara is your friend right? So if I were you I would talk to her and find out what really happened."

"Thanks Nance. I know you didn't want to tell me." What Nancy is saying doesn't sound at all like the Sara I know. She can control her temper. It takes something big to make her blow up.

It looks like I need to talk to Sara.

TBC..