This is a very long chapter compared to the past ones of Lost and Gained!
BPOV
I poked the hard skin again, amazed that I hadn't noticed it before. At four months I was finally showing and even though it went me into excitement waves, I didn't like the way my clothing looked. The worst part was that I wasn't even that far along. It was nothing but a small bump settled in between my hips. My clothes could really look funny and sometimes made me look like a production of a funhouse mirror.
"Hey," Rosalie said, walking into my bathroom. "How's it going?"
"Well, I look and feel like a whale," I laughed, smoothing my T-shirt over the bulge. "It just feels so weird."
She smiled. "I bet," she agreed quietly. "So, um, Edward's here now. Are you ready for this?" she asked softly.
Drawing in a deep breath I nodded, too fast for it to be convincing. "It shouldn't be that hard," I said as simply as possible. "I've met them before."
"Yeah, but you were my best friend then. Now your Edward's girlfriend, and he never had girlfriends, Bella. This is a big step for him."
That was understandable. I'd met Esme and Carlisle many times before because of Rose's and my relationship, but I had to meet them as Edward's parents and me as Edward's girlfriend. Apparently, they still didn't know it was me that he was dating, which would only make me more worrisome.
"Can you send him up?" I asked. "I need to ask him something." She nodded, leaving me alone in the bathroom.
I was incredibly nervous for this. Meeting the Cullen parents as Edward's girlfriend was so different then just being Rosalie's best friend. And I was so scared, I thought I would throw up my breakfast. Edward and I had yet to get our "story" straight before going to meet them for lunch, and we had to decide if we wanted to tell them about the baby. Either I could wear this tight shirt or I needed to put a sweater over top.
But it wasn't like it would be that simple to just pretend I wasn't really pregnant. I barely had any morning sickness – which I had worried was not a good thing, but Dr. Newton said it was common – and I barely had an appetite. Plus Esme had some kind of sixth sense, just like Alice, though they weren't related, and I'd be surprised if she didn't know.
As I heard his footsteps approaching, I turned around and held out my arms, like I was showcasing myself. "Well?" I asked.
"Bella, let's not play the do-I-look-fat-in-this game," he begged. "I've read about and I don't like the sounds of it, either."
I sighed impatiently. "No," I snapped, "are we telling your parents about this," I moved my hand around my stomach, "or not?"
Edward pretended to glance at his watch. "Okay, hormone time," he said. I scowled at him, turning back toward the mirror to finish getting ready. He walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging my back to his chest. I just shook my head, ignoring him completely as I fixed my curled hair. "I say we tell them," he decided easily, not noticed how mad I was at him. "Mom will be happy. I think."
"Oh, jeez, that makes me feel so much better!" I snapped, pushing his arms off of me and walking back into my bedroom. Certainly it wasn't him I was angered at, but he was the nearest person to get that load of emotion I was letting out.
Sometimes I wished he just wasn't so clueless.
"Bella?" Edward asked, his warning voice turned on. "What's going on with you? Your so...grumpy?"
"I am not grumpy!" I snapped, my voice too high for my words to have the right effect. He cracked a smile, unaffected. "Whatever," I huffed, grabbing my purse from my bed and heading for the door. I could feel, if not hear, Edward following behind me. I still wasn't at the point of loving him, sometimes I just felt like I was babysitter for a grown man. As he started to loosen to the fact of being a father and being in love with me – which I hardly acknowledged – I started to realize how much of a real kid he is.
Not overly did I mind much, but sometimes he could be slightly more mature. And think things through a little more.
So whether he liked it or not, his parents would know by the end of lunch that they would be grandparents.
Grandparents.
I sighed. So would my mom and dad, and they didn't even know yet. I hadn't even talked to my dad in months and my mom in longer. Certainly I would have to get on that any day now.
"Bye," Rosalie said, giving me a quick hug and giving me a huge smile. "Have fun and good luck. Are you telling them?" she asked, setting a hand on my stomach.
Ignoring Edward's quickened breath, I nodded. "Yes."
Her smile widened. "I'm sure they'll be excited," she reassured me softly, then hugged me again and added, "Everything will go great."
"I hope," I muttered, casting a glance over my shoulder at Edward. Rose followed my gaze, smiling slightly, nodding. "Bye," I sighed with a roll of my eyes.
"See ya." She turned to Edward and reached up to pat him on the head. He groaned, slapping her hand away. "Bye, Edward," she said, somewhat smugly.
I laughed as I grabbed my jacket that was hanging on the back of a chair and headed for the door. Edward was right behind me, snickering at something that I didn't know. I scowled over my shoulder at him.
"Okay, Bella, what's going on with you?" he demanded.
Pushing open the door at the bottom of the stairs I stormed out into the wind. It was pretty chilly outside in Seattle. I sighed, turning around to face him and crossed my arms over my chest.
"I'm sorry, okay?" I snapped, my voice falling flat. I felt like I was just telling him what he wanted to hear. "I'm scared and I'm frustrated and I'm worried about what your parents will think about us. What are we even going to say? That I was suffering from a broken heart so I fucked the nearest guy I could and I got pregnant from it? Something tells me that's now going to go over well."
He seemed troubled by what I said. "My parents aren't like that – you should know that, you've met them before. Its just going to be different this time. Plus, we don't have to tell them that we're having a baby." Edward also started to favour we and us when referring to the baby.
I just shook my head. "Let's just go," I said hastily, turning around to walk toward the parking lot and to space his silver Volvo sat in. I didn't know if he was following or not, but I also didn't care much. Some things I couldn't get over and others I just couldn't wrap my head around. This was one that involved both concepts.
The ride to the restaurant was completely silent and uncomfortable. I knew I was pretty much the only one at fault here, the only one that did something wrong and continued to snap at the other. But I would prolong this on Edward as long as I could, whatever this was. We pulled up to one of the restaurants the girls and I always frequented in Seatlle, and as I was about to get out Edward grabbed hold of my wrist.
"What?" I groaned, tugging on my arm.
"Bella, I'm asking because I care. What is up your ass?" he demanded, sounding irritated and annoyed.
I sighed, pulling at my hand, which he let go quickly, and went to open the door. But he pressed the lock button before I got the chance. I knew if I pressed unlock this would become a very bemusing game. "Fine," I said stubbornly. "Your annoying the fuck out of me."
"I haven't even done anything!" he objected. "All I did was show up and then get snapped at. I could say the same thing to you."
Great. Now we were fighting. Usually I would never give up in a situation like this, but I didn't have it in me to fight. I was tired and achy and pretty damn miserable. I mean, I certainly hadn't hit that morning sickness stage – I'd pretty much bypassed it, actually – but I didn't have that big appetite yet. To me, lunch seemed so pointless.
Giving up, I said, "Whatever. Can we just go now?"
"My parents will notice if there's tension between us," he said, his voice melting back to a softer tone.
"Well..." I sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry then, okay? I didn't mean to piss you off." My hand slapped over my forehead, my am resting against the glass.
Edward sighed, too. "You didn't piss me off," he said. "I just wanted to know why you were so...grumpy today. That's all." He leaned over the consol and kissed my cheek. "I love you," he reminded.
I sighed. I hated that I couldn't say it, but I just wasn't ready and I don't think I even felt it. "I love...the cheeseburgers here," I replied, patting his cheek as I unlocked my door, opening it and stepping out. I peeked back in at Edward's shocked expression. "You coming?" From what I could see, he looked kind of dazed as he slid from the front seat and stalked over to me. His face was unreadable, but I think he was kind of amused.
His arm wove around my waist and he pulled me closer to him. "Very funny," he whispered. The laugh that escaped my mouth couldn't have been stopped. "You think its funny?" he asked, his own amusement in his voice. "I really thought you were going to say it."
"Sorry, not yet." I shrugged as I pulled him for the door. "But don't mope over it. Esme can really pick up on that crap."
"Yeah, I know," he laughed, wrapping his hand tighter around mine. As Edward was about to open the door for me, like the gentleman he is, I noticed the black Mercedes parked in front of the restaurant. They were already here.
I can do this, I thought as anxiety crept up on me. Nothing will go wrong. We stepped inside the restaurant and a gust of warm air hit my face. I sighed, my throat tightening. I guess I was frightened about what they would say about the pregnancy – that was my main concern. Stopping Edward in his tracks toward the back, I gripped his collar and pulled his face down to mine. "We met in a coffee shop and you gave me your number. We went on a date before you led me back to your place to have your wicked way with me. Now we're pregnant. Are we clear?" I hissed in his ear.
Edward pulled back, giving me a confused look. "Um, yeah, sure."
"Good." I gestured in front of us, taking a deep breath. "Lead the way," I said as he started to pull me to the booths in the back. I tried not to look around before we would come face to face with them. It was also surprisingly hard to keep my hand off my stomach; I didn't want them to find out like this. I wanted to physically tell them.
I was almost half hidden by Edward's body when he stopped.
"Edward!" I recognized Esme's voice immediately, so soft and sweet, filled with excitement now. Edward released my hand to embrace his mother. I watched, finding myself smiling at them both. I'd never seen Edward in a family environment and now that I finally got the chance, I was really beginning to enjoy it. Esme's brown hair cascaded down her back softly, a total different contrast to Edward's bronze hair.
"Hey, Mom." He laughed at her eagerness, glancing over her shoulder at me. "Where's Dad?"
"He got called into the hospital back in Forks. He's sorry he can't be here, but...," she said quickly, obviously too excited to see Edward. Where they close? I wondered. He'd never really spoke about them. "So how have to been?"
It was overly amusing that Esme hadn't taken attention to me.
Edward just laughed, extracting himself from her mother's arms and gesturing to me. Esme turned around and her eyes grew wide. I think Edward was about to say something, but Esme's squeal cut him off. Her arms were around me seconds, so fast that my knees almost buckled.
"Oh my God, Bella, I haven't seen you in so long!"
I struggled to breath. "Hi Esme, how are you?" I asked breathily, laughing to myself.
"Oh, I'm so good!" she squealed, bouncing with her arms around me. I think she has more in common with Alice then some seem to think. "What are you doing here?" she asked.
Edward and I burst out laughing at the same time, and I found myself clutching to hold myself up. Didn't she think it made sense that I was here at the same time as her son, who was date-less when he wasn't supposed to be?
"Mom," Edward stepped forward, "Bella is my girlfriend," he told her.
"Really?" She seemed astonished. Her eyes flickered between us both as Edward wrapped an arm around my waist, setting it on my hip and stroking the side of my stomach. Esme's brow furrowed as she watched the movement, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. "Wow," she breathed. "I did not expect that!"
***
After Esme got over her shock of seeing me as Edward's new girlfriend, she was all for dishing out the stories. Of course Edward and I never really talked about when we were kids and all that – because we were slowly starting to unwind around each other – so I found this as a good insight to Edward Cullen's perverted mind. While Esme talked animatedly Edward stared at her, somewhat in horror, at the stories she told. I'm sorry if he didn't think its funny that he got so drunk at New Year's Eve when he was fifteen in New York City, that he ran through Time's Square completely naked when the ball dropped.
This guy needs a better sense of humour.
Esme exhaled after her retell of that New Year's Eve. "So, Bella, what are you doing now?" she asked as she glanced at the menu. We'd held off on the whole food thing to just talk, which was mostly centered around the gang here in Seattle and Edward, but when the subject changed to me, I was frightened for what questions that would entail.
"I, um, was an English teacher, but its just getting to hard to keep up with," I said, beating around what I was trying to say. Edward squeezed my thigh, which was dangerously close to my core. It was a comforting gesture, but his next words made me want to kick him in the face.
"She quit," he told her.
I turned to him sharply. "Thank you, Edward, for the clarification." My voice was just as sharp.
"Why did you quit?" Esme asked curiously.
I struggled with what to say. To be honest, I didn't know the truth myself. "I, um, was just finding that it wasn't really what I wanted," I lied.
The waiter came at that time and I was grateful for the distraction. I glanced at the menu and even the usual didn't seem so appealing. In fact, I wasn't even very hungry at the moment. I folded the menu back up and handed it to the waiter. "I'll just have a diet coke," I told him. He nodded in response.
The waiter was about to turn around when Edward stopped him. "Um, no," he said. "She will have a cheeseburger with that and fries." My mouth dropped at his pushiness, but he didn't take it back. "And a Coke, too," he added.
With an odd glance from the waiter as he wrote this down, he started off toward the kitchen and I hit Edward in the arm.
"What the hell was that for?" I demanded, forgetting about Esme's presence.
"You have to eat," he reminded me casually, unaffected by my tone. Edward glanced at Esme, who gave Edward a confused smile, also somewhat amused. "You made me read the books and you need to gain weight. You need to add some more curve to these hips." He gestured to my body.
Despite what he'd just did and said, my mouth dropped open, holding a half smile.
"Edward!" Esme snapped, the smile in her voice. He looked at her shamelessly. "Watch your attitude, or else you won't have a girlfriend for much longer." I smiled at her gratefully. "And I think Bella looks fine."
"Yeah, I know she does. You should see her naked," Edward advised, and both my and Esme's mouths dropped open until our jaws hit the floor. He did not just say that. Oh yes, he really did, my mind told me. Fuck. "But she needs to gain weight."
I kicked his ankle under the table, but it didn't affect him. "I do not," I hissed quietly. "I'm fine."
"No, your not," he said, turning to me and letting those deep eyes melt into my mind. "We've spent months going over these books so don't give me that shit. I know what I'm talking about."
As I opened my mouth to tell him that he didn't in fact know what he was talking about, Esme interrupted in a confused voice.
"If you don't mind me interrupting, what's going on?" she asked timidly.
Shooting Edward a "look what you did" look, I turned to Esme with a small smile. "Nothing," I said, patting Edward's cheek in the way he hated. "He's just picky when things don't go his way, and easily angered, and controlling and overprotective, and annoying when he pesters you for anything—"
"Bella, you better be going somewhere with this," Edward growled.
I laughed, realizing that I didn't have a point. Esme giggled, still confused. "Its nothing, Esme," I reassured her. I didn't want to tell her yet.
"What's going on?" she persisted, looking at each other of us, measuring our reactions. Esme always had a great insight and I was getting worried what she would see.
"I just haven't been eating much lately, things have been hectic, I haven't been feeling well." I left like I was just listing every reason in the book throughout my lie. "Edward's just getting a little jittery, that's all."
She let it go, surprisingly. Edward pretty much put this elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand while Esme and I talked constantly about everything. He played with his straw in a glass of Coke, looking completely bored and sighing dramatically. I smiled slightly as Esme retold a childhood story of Edward's. There were many actually, which were quite embarrassing. Anywhere from dirty magazines under his bed at age twelve to tampons up his nose when he had a bloody nose. It was pretty comical.
Things were going great and I almost forgot Edward was beside me, sulking through the girlie conversations.
"So Bella, what happened to Jacob?" Esme asked as she sipped at her diet coke (and I couldn't have one?). "Last time I checked he was your boyfriend."
I smiled tightly as a lump rose in my throat. "He's long gone," I said, somewhat awkwardly.
"What happened?" She wasn't being persistent, just curious.
"It just..." I exhaled unnoticeably. "It wasn't working out." Her gaze didn't change. She wanted more detail. "He cheated on me," I told her, looking down at my Coke as I swirled the cubes around the brown liquid.
She pursed her lips. "Wow, I didn't think he was that kind of guy," she admitted, seeming deep in thought. I shrugged, not meeting her eyes again.
Our food was delivered a few minutes after and conversation seemed to drain out. I still wasn't hungry and looking at the food in front of me actually made me pretty nauseous. I wanted to at least attempt, because my last appointment I'd been under weight with what I should I have been around, but just the thought of it had me feeling like I could puke right then and there. I exhaled, biting my lip and tapping my foot.
Should I even try it and risk any empty stomach? As I was getting ready to attempt it, something rose in my throat. I swallowed it, sickeningly, and took a quick sip of Coke. Okay, that's a gross aftertaste. I pushed the plate away from me, shaking my head as I covered my mouth. "No," I mumbled, looking at Edward.
"What's wrong?" he asked, rubbing my back slowly.
I waved a hand in front of my mouth. "I can't do it."
"Bella, are you sick?" Esme asked immediately, wiping her mouth delicately. "Do you have the flu or something?"
Sighing, I took another sip of my drink. Edward didn't even make a move to tell her himself, only gently rubbed my back. He offered to let me out to go to the bathroom, maybe try to throw up, but I declined. I didn't have that feeling again.
"No, actually, Esme," I started, but paused and glanced at Edward. He gave me a reassuring smile, nudging me with his shoulder. "Esme, I'm pregnant."
It was a longer chapter than normal, any reviews for me?