Sins of My Father

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N:

Chapter 25 (Your Decision)

Trina paced the floor, her phone trembling in her hand as tears fell down her face. "Trina." Her heart was racing, how could Jason be so calm at a time like this? "That will not happen."

"You don't know that," she cried.

"I would never leave you." While she believed him, it was hard to cope with her nightmares. Things were getting out of hand; so much she couldn't be sure where her life was going anymore. "And you know our little girl wouldn't hate her mommy."

"She might if I was never home. She might want another mommy, you might want another wife!"

"I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with, so no, I don't think I'd ever want another wife. I mean hell, I was ready to enjoy life as a bachelor before I met you." She wasn't sure the reason she was panicking, she'd never quite felt this way. Usually she was able to rise above her concerns, never one to let them beat her; but now she was so close to being a mother that she couldn't bear the thought of becoming separated from her unborn baby or her husband.

"Trina, I love you. There's no one I'd rather share my life with. No matter what, I will always support you." She let her hand slide to her chest and closed her eyes, breathing shakily. "No matter where your job takes you or how long you might be away, I'll always be waiting for you. So will our daughter."

She leaned against the wall and sniffled. "But…what if I miss all those moments? Her first steps, her first words? What if I even miss her first day of kindergarten?" She pushed her fingers through the tip of her hair and begin to breathe heavily. "Oh my god, what if I miss her college graduation?" Jason chuckled.

"Then we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Trina, she hasn't even come out of the womb yet. College graduation is a long time away. I'm sure you'll think of a way to be there for her at every one of those big moments in her life."

"How can you be so sure!"

"Because. You are who you are." She blinked once and tilted her head to the side. Jason's voice seemed to grow softer, soothing her a small amount. "You always think of a way through the toughest of times, and that's what I love about you. Even if you're on a ship a thousand miles away, you'll find some way to be there for our daughter every step of the way through her life. I know you will."

"I love you." Her heart skipped a beat and she fell back into her chair, sinking into the cushion. No other man would be so willing to stick it out like he would, she was sure of that. "I don't know anyone else that would be willing to go through this mess with me."

"I'd go into the abyss with you, you know that." She smiled. "Tear down the very walls of hell with you." There was a brief pause and Trina slowly wiped away the tears on her face. "We'll make it, Trina. You know we will."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being so supportive during all this."

"I would be one hell of a bad husband if I wasn't." Trina chuckled and started to sigh as she folded her arm over her stomach. "Just do yourself a favor. This big ass case you're dealing with, if you can't take a break before you're due to give birth…be done with it before then. I know it's causing you a lot of stress, and I hate seeing you in such a bad way."

"I'm doing my best." Trina curled a strand of hair behind her ear and glanced up at the window. "Even Gary's done everything but put me on bed-rest." It wasn't easy having to let even a little bit of control go, but considering she had nearly four months to go on her pregnancy, she really needed to be careful. "I feel like this is moving so slowly though, thank god Dad's stupid family organization isn't that large. All we have to really do is take down the four leaders left…"

"Can that be done without you on the front lines?"

"Seems like it is being done…Gary's always been a good leader." She started to laugh. "I almost wish he was my father, it would make more sense." There was a knock at the door and she quickly looked up. "Someone's here, I'll have to call you back."

"Alright. Love you."

"I love you…" As much as it broke her heart to hang up the phone, she recognized Gary's heavy knock anywhere. No one else would be knocking anyway, and if he was here, then something was going on. She quickly answered the door and Gary looked up at her with raised eyebrows.

"You've been crying? Is everything okay?"

She smiled at him and quickly nodded. "Everything's fine. Do you have information about the case?"

"I do. The Army's criminal investigations team intercepted one of Juan's own guard. It seems the people assigned under his command literally work for him on both sides." She walked with him into another room, where she retrieved a small hand towel.

"Are you saying what I think?" She moistened the towel under the bathroom faucet, wrung it out and pat down her face. "Other members of the armed forces are involved?"

"It makes sense. A Lieutenant Colonel in charge of a small group of men, he might include them in his business, and even hold rank above their heads."

"Think he did that?"

"Like holding a sword at their neck…Seems they intercepted one of the members on his team not afraid to lose their stripes by ratting him out." Gary crossed his arms and leaned against the back wall, growling softly. "For the good of the country, or himself, he waited until someone opened an investigation on Juan to come forward."

"Don't be so harsh, he was afraid. Of career-ending blackmail or death, one of the two…" She lowered the towel and looked at Gary in the mirror, watching as his right eyebrow slid upwards.

"Coming from you, I wouldn't expect to hear any amount of sympathy for someone that supports stealing from the military."

"Yeah, I'm trying to be less pessimistic and angry. Is it working?"

"Almost too well." He let out a grunt as she turned around to face him. "Anyways, it seems the officer has been serving as Juan's secretary of sorts, keeping a record of all purchases made and weapons smuggled. They've been feeding street gangs for decades."

"What's that mean?"

"It means they've contributed to more gang violence than anyone realized. It doesn't help that he's also been reported to have sold military grade weapons to terrorist organizations like Al Qaeda." She rolled her eyes and walked past Gary.

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"Given everything you've learned so far, it shouldn't." He followed after her, shaking his head slowly. "The investigations team is planning Juan's arrest. They're baiting him. He's got to know what's coming, so they have to plan it out."

"How are they going to do that?"

"There's a mandatory meeting of officers, he'll have to be there. It's going down tonight."

"Officers can't find him at his home?"

"No. The big four know they're being sought after, so it isn't going to be as easy as that. You know that." She had to agree, there was no telling where they'd be hiding out. At the same time, why would Juan attend any sort of meeting if he knew it was likely that he would be arrested?

"If he knows what's coming, then why would he go to the most obvious place?"

"Because as the officer that was intercepted said, he has pride in his career and won't risk being demoted for missing a required officer meeting. He likes having the power that he does."

"If he liked it so much, he shouldn't have gotten involved in the arms race in the first place."

"You know he was involved in his father's organization well before that. It was all about having the United States Army in the back pocket, too bad for Hector that his son was caught before he could reach the rank of General."

"Right. I'm going to enjoy seeing the look on his face when the Generals of the United States Army bring him down."

"You'll be watching by camera." Trina groaned and scowled at him.

"Come on! What's the harm that could happen by my being there at this guy's arrest?"

"Anything could happen, Trina. I won't run the risk. Who knows what loyalists he has ready to protect him? Even if this officer says none on his team will back him as much as he thinks, there's bound to be some who will. Just because he controls them through fear and blackmail, doesn't mean they're all too afraid of him to protect him."

"You don't want me there in case fire is exchanged? Do you honestly think all those men and women on his team are going to risk their own careers for him?"

"They've already done that just by getting involved in his 'family business'." With a sigh of defeat, Trina let her shoulders slide downwards and she followed Gary to the door of the motel room.

"Fine, but I'm not going to sit out for the entire investigation. I hope you know that."

"I know, but if I can lessen the risk to you or your baby in some form, I'm willing to do so." He stepped outside and gently closed the door. Trina shook her head and glanced over her shoulder, groaning at the empty room. At least motels in Canada seemed cleaner than the ones in LA.

"Well Rachel…" She pat her stomach and looked down with a tender smile. "Looks like it's just me and you for a while."

Later that night, she attended to David's cell, glaring through the bars at him in silence for what felt like an eternity. He stared back with a look of confusion. "Can I help you?"

"I'm trying to figure it out." She cocked her head to the right. "How could you stomach it? At first, when I was young, I thought you being away all the time was only affecting me…but over twenty children, some of whom have never even seen you. I'm sure Derek isn't the only one that, on the first time meeting you, would like to kick the living shit out of you."

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden, hm?"

"Disappearing for days at a time, sometimes weeks or even a month. Always I wondered just how much of that was your actual job…I'm sure your uncle wanted you to reach the rank of Police Chief and all, but you were off gallivanting with hordes of women and leaving them alone to raise children without a parent."

"Okay."

"I'm supposed to believe that a child won't hurt? I'm supposed to believe that being gone for so long will make that child still care, yearn, for their parent?" She rose up, slamming her hands on the bars and leaning close to him, growling ferociously. "How could you be so cruel? How could you be so vile? How could I ever think being out of your child's life would keep them wanting anything to do with you?"

"Oh." David leaned back slowly and closed his eyes. "I see now." He folded his arms across his chest and raised up his shoulders. "You shouldn't believe that, if you don't ever try and make a connection. I had close to thirty children, yes, and my duties kept me away from every single one of them, even the family that was supposed to be a picture. There were some I cared for, some I wished that I could be around for; but how close was I supposed to be when I was the man that I am?"

Her hands slid down the bars a bit and her heartbeat flickered. She furrowed her brow at him and watched as he paced to the right. "I'll be honest with you, Trina. It wasn't always pretend."

"I don't think you expect me to believe that."

"Believe what you want, I don't have to explain myself any longer." David motioned to her, gesturing to her stomach. "No doubt you're worried about your career and how it'll affect your relationship with that baby." She moved one hand down to her stomach and peered towards it. "But here's the thing, you're in full control. Nobody is telling you how close or how far away to stand. No feelings of anger, guilt, disdain or resentment will control you."

"Sure, I guess."

"I murdered people, sexually assaulted people, and hell even had a fucking incestuous relationship without knowing it." He started to cringe. "And of every disgusting act that I've done over the years of my life, that one is the one that haunts me the most. I'm not sure why, given how callous I've become; but maybe it's because I did actually care about the children I had in a way that I wasn't truly sure."

"Don't give me that. You tried to have me killed, tried to have Alex Mack killed."

"In moments of pure rage and horror…" He paced again to the left, locking his hands behind his back. "With Alex, it was just the realization of knowing what I'd done to her and what happened with her birth mother. Even if she did 'consent', knowing that I likely just violated my own flesh and blood caused a horror and rage like no other to come over me. It wasn't a premeditated act, Katrina."

"Then what was it with me? You hated me since I was a little girl."

David started to laugh. "I didn't hate you. I didn't hate Tori either."

Suddenly she snapped, the anger in her heart growing immensely. "Liar." She pounded his cell door and her wild eyes pierced into him. He remained calm, his lips flat across his emotionless face. "Tell me you didn't hate me when you blew up an entire ship just to kill me. Tell me you didn't hate me when you were never even fucking around for any of the big moments in mine or Tori's life."

"Twenty-seven children, Katrina, and I wasn't close to a single one. Why? Because I couldn't be. I wasn't allowed to be close to twenty-five of them." She raised an eyebrow. "As for you and Tori, and your mother, I wanted to be; but I simply couldn't be."

"I hate you."

"I know you do, and you have the right. After all, I was never around because I knew it was all a lie. Yes it was all a painted image, and yes it was part of Hector's plan for me to appear to have a normal family life; but I couldn't pretend nor could I allow myself to get too close. How could I? Knowing the things I've done, knowing I wasn't a family man in any way. I'd look in your eyes and I'd see the reflection of a two-faced man peering back at me. I couldn't bear to be around any of you."

"And when Grandma died?"

"I felt cheated, I was uncontrollable. She knew that I wasn't good, she knew Sonya and Raul were rotten and horrid as well. It seemed a great insult that my inheritance went to the one child that I was supposed to pretend to give a damn about. So yes, I tried to kill you for her inheritance…but so did Sonya and Raul. They wanted you dead more than I did, they wanted to split the money."

Her brow furrowed and she turned away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. "How do you expect me to believe anything you say?"

"I don't. I expect you to understand something though."

"What?"

"Just because you might get called away from your family for long periods of time doesn't mean you're not in control. You decide whether or not to be in contact with the, you decide whether or not to be there for those big milestone moments or not. I chose not to be. You don't have to do that, because you're not pretending, you're not in denial of anything or guilty of a damn thing. You can be a mother, genuine as ever, and you know it."

She lowered her hands to her sides and looked up, her entire body trembling. Without saying another word, she left the holding room. Silent tears fell down her chin as she walked out of the building.

When she stepped outside, she saw Gary getting out of a car and walking towards the passenger door. He opened it up and Jason slowly climbed out of the vehicle. Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes grew large as his name fell from her lips.

The wind blew his hair back and he leaned a bit to the right, smiling as his strong gaze met hers. "I had to fly up, it seemed like you needed me to be here." Fresher tears filled her eyes and she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and crying into his chest. He flinched, seemingly surprised by the sudden act, then slowly wrapped his arms around her. "God, I've missed you."

Gary scratched the back of his head, chuckling softly as she buried her face into Jason's shirt and clenched the fabric tightly within her fingers. "I'm glad you're here, to be honest. She's been an emotional wreck all damn week."

A lot of emotion to go around in this chapter it seems, and could it be, a little tinge of concern coming from David himself. Every antagonist needs something to counterbalance, and perhaps he did truly care about the children that he had even if he wasn't willing to admit to it before. Seems Trina is also starting to find herself at some sort of a crossroads, even if she doesn't realize it, she may wind up having to make a decision at some point; but at least she has support.